Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

117 the room/The room
66 home/Home
49 the house/The house/the House
36 the street/The street
32 there/There
32 here
31 the drawing - room/The drawing - room
30 the road
27 upstairs/Upstairs
22 the office

GPE

7 the country
6 the city/the City
6 the village
5 there
2 the town
2 here
2 the provinces
2 the community
2 The village of Disham/the village of Disham
1 the city which lay , hazily luminous , beneath him

LOC

77 the world/The world
28 the river/The river
13 the sea
11 the country
10 the earth
4 earth
4 this world
4 the ruins
3 the shore
3 the heath

PER

125 one/One
105 her mother/Her mother
60 people/People
52 her father/Her father
48 each other
30 any one
30 women/Women
29 her daughter
29 other people
27 no one/No one

ORG

2 a Government office
2 the Government
1 every department of letters and art
1 the society , which drooped for want of funds
1 Church Work
1 party government
1 the Board of Trade
1 all these organizations
1 local Boards and Councils
1 the Government of India

VEH

16 a cab
15 the carriage/The carriage
7 the cab/The cab
6 the train
3 cabs/Cabs
2 the omnibuses
2 a taxicab
2 that cab
2 a motor - car
2 ships

Text

It was a Sunday evening in October , and in common with [many other young ladies of [her]_371-her class]_{370-many other young ladies of her class} , [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} was pouring out tea . Perhaps a fifth part of [her]_{129-katharine} mind was thus occupied , and the remaining parts leapt over the little barrier of day which interposed between Monday morning and this rather subdued moment , and played with the things one does voluntarily and normally in the daylight . But although [she]_{129-katharine} was silent , [she]_{129-katharine} was evidently mistress of a situation which was familiar enough to [her]_{129-katharine} , and inclined to let it take its way for the six hundredth time , perhaps , without bringing into play any of [her]_{129-katharine} unoccupied faculties . A single glance was enough to show that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was so rich in the gifts which make tea - parties of [elderly distinguished people]_{372-elderly distinguished people} successful , that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} scarcely needed any help from [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} , provided that the tiresome business of teacups and bread and butter was discharged for [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . Considering that [the little party]_{374-the little party} had been seated round the tea - table for less than twenty minutes , the animation observable on [their]_{374-the little party} faces , and the amount of sound [they]_{374-the little party} were producing collectively , were very creditable to [the hostess]_{375-the hostess} . It suddenly came into [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s mind that if [some one]_{376-some one} opened the door at this moment [he]_{376-some one} would think that [they]_{374-the little party} were enjoying [themselves]_{374-the little party} ; [he]_{376-some one} would think , “ What [an extremely nice house]_{2914-an extremely nice house} to come into ! ”_{[376-some one]} and instinctively [she]_{129-katharine} laughed , and said something to increase the noise , for the credit of [the house]_{377-the house} presumably , since [she]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} had not been feeling exhilarated . At the very same moment , rather to [her]_{129-katharine} amusement , the door was flung open , and [a young man]_{378-a young man} entered [the room]_{379-the room} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as [she]_{129-katharine} shook hands with [him]_{378-a young man} , asked [him]_{378-a young man} , in [her]_{129-katharine} own mind , “ Now , do [you]_{378-a young man} think [we]_2915-we ’re enjoying [ourselves]_2915-we enormously ? ”_{[129-katharine]} ... “ [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , [mother]_2916-mother , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said aloud , for [she]_{129-katharine} saw that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had forgotten [his]_{378-a young man} name . That fact was perceptible to [Mr. Denham]_131-denham also , and increased the awkwardness which inevitably attends the entrance of [a stranger]_{381-a stranger} into [a room full of [people]_383-people much at [their]_383-people ease]_{382-a room full of people much at their ease} , and all launched upon sentences . At the same time , it seemed to [Mr. Denham]_131-denham as if a thousand softly padded doors had closed between [him]_131-denham and [the street outside]_{384-the street outside} . A fine mist , the etherealized essence of the fog , hung visibly in [the wide and rather empty space of the drawing - room]_{385-the wide and rather empty space of the drawing - room} , all silver where the candles were grouped on the tea - table , and ruddy again in the firelight . With [the omnibuses]_{386-the omnibuses} and [cabs]_387-cabs still running in [his]_131-denham head , and [his]_131-denham body still tingling with [his]_131-denham quick walk along [the streets]_{388-the streets} and in and out of traffic and [foot - passengers]_{389-foot - passengers} , [this drawing - room]_{390-this drawing - room} seemed very remote and still ; and the faces of [the elderly people]_{391-the elderly people} were mellowed , at some distance from each other , and had a bloom on [them]_{391-the elderly people} owing to the fact that the air in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} was thickened by blue grains of mist . [Mr. Denham]_131-denham had come in as [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} , [the eminent novelist]_{393-the eminent novelist} , reached the middle of a very long sentence . [He]_131-denham kept this suspended while [the newcomer]_{394-the newcomer} sat down , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} deftly joined the severed parts by leaning towards [him]_131-denham and remarking : “ Now , what would [you]_131-denham do if [you]_131-denham were married to [an engineer]_{2917-an engineer} , and had to live in [Manchester]_1-manchester , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} “ Surely [she]_{129-katharine} could learn Persian , ”_{[395-a thin , elderly gentleman]} broke in [a thin , elderly gentleman]_{395-a thin , elderly gentleman} . “ Is there [no retired schoolmaster]_{2918-no retired schoolmaster} or [man of letters]_{2919-man of letters} in [Manchester]_1-manchester with whom [she]_{129-katharine} could read Persian ? ”_{[395-a thin , elderly gentleman]} “ [A cousin of ours]_{2920-a cousin of ours} has married and gone to live in [Manchester]_1-manchester , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} explained . [Mr. Denham]_131-denham muttered something , which was indeed all that was required of [him]_131-denham , and [the novelist]_{396-the novelist} went on where [he]_131-denham had left off . Privately , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham cursed [himself]_131-denham very sharply for having exchanged the freedom of [the street]_{397-the street} for [this sophisticated drawing - room]_{398-this sophisticated drawing - room} , where , among other disagreeables , [he]_131-denham certainly would not appear at [his]_131-denham best . [He]_131-denham glanced round [him]_131-denham , and saw that , save for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [they]_399-they were all over forty , the only consolation being that [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} was [a considerable celebrity]_{400-a considerable celebrity} , so that to - morrow one might be glad to have met [him]_{132-mr. fortescue} . “ Have [you]_{129-katharine} ever been to [Manchester]_1-manchester ? ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham asked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “ Never , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “ Why do [you]_131-denham object to it , then ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stirred [her]_{129-katharine} tea , and seemed to speculate , so [Denham]_131-denham thought , upon the duty of filling [somebody else]_{401-somebody else} ’s cup , but [she]_{129-katharine} was really wondering how [she]_{129-katharine} was going to keep [this strange young man]_{402-this strange young man} in harmony with [the rest]_{403-the rest} . [She]_{129-katharine} observed that [he]_{402-this strange young man} was compressing [his]_{402-this strange young man} teacup , so that there was danger lest the thin china might cave inwards . [She]_{129-katharine} could see that [he]_{402-this strange young man} was nervous ; one would expect [a bony young man with [his]_{402-this strange young man} [face slightly reddened by the wind]_{405-face slightly reddened by the wind} , and [his]_{402-this strange young man} hair not altogether smooth , to be nervous in such a party]_{404-a bony young man with his face slightly reddened by the wind , and his hair not altogether smooth , to be nervous in such a party} . Further , [he]_{402-this strange young man} probably disliked this kind of thing , and had come out of curiosity , or because [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} had invited [him]_{402-this strange young man} — anyhow , [he]_{402-this strange young man} would not be easily combined with [the rest]_{403-the rest} . “ [I]_{129-katharine} should think there would be [no one]_{2921-no one} to talk to in [Manchester]_1-manchester , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} replied at random . [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} had been observing [her]_{129-katharine} for a moment or two , as [novelists]_{408-novelists} are inclined to observe , and at this remark [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} smiled , and made it the text for a little further speculation . “ In spite of a slight tendency to exaggeration , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} decidedly hits the mark , ”_{[132-mr. fortescue]} [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} said , and lying back in [his]_{132-mr. fortescue} chair , with [his]_{132-mr. fortescue} opaque contemplative eyes fixed on the ceiling , and the tips of [his]_{132-mr. fortescue} fingers pressed together , [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} depicted , first the horrors of [the streets of [Manchester]_1-manchester]_{409-the streets of manchester} , and then the bare , immense moors on [the outskirts of [the town]_{411-the town}]_{410-the outskirts of the town} , and then [the scrubby little house in which [the girl]_{413-the girl} would live]_{412-the scrubby little house in which the girl would live} , and then [the professors]_{414-the professors} and [the miserable young students]_{415-the miserable young students} devoted to the more strenuous works of [[our]_416-our younger dramatists]_{417-our younger dramatists} , who would visit [her]_{129-katharine} , and how [her]_{129-katharine} appearance would change by degrees , and how [she]_{129-katharine} would fly to [London]_2-london , and how [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would have to lead [her]_{129-katharine} about , as one leads an eager dog on a chain , past rows of [clamorous butchers ’ shops]_{418-clamorous butchers ’ shops} , poor dear creature . “ Oh , [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} exclaimed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , as [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} finished , “ [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had just written to say how [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} envied [her]_{413-the girl} ! [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was thinking of [the big gardens]_{2922-the big gardens} and [the dear old ladies in mittens]_{2923-the dear old ladies in mittens} , who read nothing but [the “_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} Spectator]_{2924-the “ spectator} , ” and snuff the candles . Have [they]_2925-they all disappeared ? [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} told [her]_{413-the girl} [she]_{413-the girl} would find the nice things of [London]_2-london without the horrid streets that depress one so . ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} “ There is [the University]_{2926-the university} , ”_{[419-the thin gentleman]} said [the thin gentleman]_{419-the thin gentleman} , who had previously insisted upon the existence of [people]_383-people knowing [Persian]_133-persian . “ [I]_{129-katharine} know there are moors [there]_2927-there , because [I]_{129-katharine} read about [them]_2927-there in a book the other day , ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “ [I]_{129-katharine} am grieved and amazed at the ignorance of [[my]_{129-katharine} family]_{2928-my family} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} remarked . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was [an elderly man]_{421-an elderly man} , with a pair of oval , hazel eyes which were rather bright for [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} time of life , and relieved the heaviness of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} face . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} played constantly with a little green stone attached to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} watch - chain , thus displaying long and very sensitive fingers , and had a habit of moving [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} head hither and thither very quickly without altering the position of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} large and rather corpulent body , so that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} seemed to be providing [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} incessantly with food for amusement and reflection with the least possible expenditure of energy . [One]_422-one might suppose that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had passed the time of life when [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} ambitions were personal , or that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had gratified them as far as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was likely to do , and now employed [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} considerable acuteness rather to observe and reflect than to attain any result . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , so [Denham]_131-denham decided , while [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} built up another rounded structure of words , had a likeness to [each of [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents}]_{423-each of her parents} , but these elements were rather oddly blended . [She]_{129-katharine} had the quick , impulsive movements of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , the lips parting often to speak , and closing again ; and the dark oval eyes of [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} brimming with light upon a basis of sadness , or , since [she]_{129-katharine} was too young to have acquired a sorrowful point of view , one might say that the basis was not sadness so much as a spirit given to contemplation and self - control . Judging by [her]_{129-katharine} hair , [her]_{129-katharine} coloring , and the shape of [her]_{129-katharine} features , [she]_{129-katharine} was striking , if not actually beautiful . Decision and composure stamped [her]_{129-katharine} , a combination of qualities that produced a very marked character , and one that was not calculated to put [a young man]_{378-a young man} , who scarcely knew [her]_{129-katharine} , at [his]_{378-a young man} ease . For the rest , [she]_{129-katharine} was tall ; [her]_{129-katharine} dress was of some quiet color , with old yellow - tinted lace for ornament , to which the spark of an ancient jewel gave its one red gleam . [Denham]_131-denham noticed that , although silent , [she]_{129-katharine} kept sufficient control of the situation to answer immediately [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} appealed to [her]_{129-katharine} for help , and yet it was obvious to [him]_131-denham that [she]_{129-katharine} attended only with the surface skin of [her]_{129-katharine} mind . It struck [him]_131-denham that [her]_{129-katharine} position at the tea - table , among all [these elderly people]_{429-these elderly people} , was not without its difficulties , and [he]_131-denham checked [his]_131-denham inclination to find [her]_{129-katharine} , or [her]_{129-katharine} attitude , generally antipathetic to [him]_131-denham . The talk had passed over [Manchester]_1-manchester , after dealing with it very generously . “ Would it be the Battle of [Trafalgar]_3-trafalgar or [the Spanish Armada]_{2929-the spanish armada} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ”_{[380-her mother]} [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} demanded . “ [Trafalgar]_3-trafalgar , [mother]_2916-mother . ”_{[380-her mother]} “ [Trafalgar]_3-trafalgar , of course ! How stupid of [me]_{380-her mother} ! Another cup of tea , with a thin slice of lemon in it , and then , dear [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} , please explain [my]_{380-her mother} absurd little puzzle . One ca n’t help [believing gentlemen with Roman noses]_{2931-believing gentlemen with roman noses} , even if one meets [them]_{2931-believing gentlemen with roman noses} in omnibuses . ”_{[380-her mother]} [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} here interposed so far as [Denham]_131-denham was concerned , and talked a great deal of sense about [the solicitors]_{431-the solicitors} ’ profession , and the changes which [he]_131-denham had seen in [his]_131-denham lifetime . Indeed , [Denham]_131-denham properly fell to [his]_131-denham lot , owing to the fact that an article by [Denham]_131-denham upon some legal matter , published by [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} Review , had brought [them]_432-they acquainted . But when a moment later [Mrs. Sutton Bailey]_{136-mrs. sutton bailey} was announced , [he]_131-denham turned to [her]_{136-mrs. sutton bailey} , and [Mr. Denham]_131-denham found [himself]_131-denham sitting silent , rejecting possible things to say , beside [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who was silent too . Being much about the same age and both under thirty , [they]_432-they were prohibited from the use of a great many convenient phrases which launch conversation into smooth waters . [They]_432-they were further silenced by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s rather malicious determination not to help [this young man]_{433-this young man} , in whose upright and resolute bearing [she]_{129-katharine} detected something hostile to [her]_{129-katharine} surroundings , by any of the usual feminine amenities . [They]_432-they therefore sat silent , [Denham]_131-denham controlling [his]_131-denham desire to say something abrupt and explosive , which should shock [her]_{136-mrs. sutton bailey} into life . But [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was immediately sensitive to any silence in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , as of a dumb note in a sonorous scale , and leaning across the table [she]_{136-mrs. sutton bailey} observed , in the curiously tentative detached manner which always gave [her]_{136-mrs. sutton bailey} phrases the likeness of butterflies flaunting from one sunny spot to another , “ [D’you]_131-denham know , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , [you]_131-denham remind [me]_435-me so much of dear [Mr. Ruskin]_{137-mr. ruskin} .... Is it [his]_{137-mr. ruskin} tie , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , or [his]_{137-mr. ruskin} hair , or the way [he]_{137-mr. ruskin} sits in [his]_{137-mr. ruskin} chair ? Do tell [me]_435-me , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , are [you]_131-denham [an admirer of [Ruskin]_{137-mr. ruskin}]_{2932-an admirer of ruskin} ? [Some one]_{376-some one} , the other day , said to [me]_435-me , ‘ Oh , no , [we]_2934-our do n’t read [Ruskin]_{137-mr. ruskin} , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . ’ What do [you]_131-denham read , [I]_435-me wonder?—for [you]_131-denham ca n’t spend all [your]_131-denham time going up in [aeroplanes]_{2935-aeroplanes} and burrowing into the bowels of [the earth]_{2936-the earth} . ”_[435-me] [She]_435-me looked benevolently at [Denham]_131-denham , who said nothing articulate , and then at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who smiled but said nothing either , upon which [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} seemed possessed by a brilliant idea , and exclaimed : “ [I]_435-me ’m sure [Mr. Denham]_131-denham would like to see [our]_2934-our things , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [I]_435-me ’m sure [he]_131-denham ’s not like [that dreadful young man , [Mr. Ponting]_{138-mr. ponting} , who told [me]_435-me that [he]_{138-mr. ponting} considered it [our]_2934-our duty to live exclusively in the present]_{2937-that dreadful young man , mr. ponting , who told me that he considered it our duty to live exclusively in the present} . After all , what is the present ? Half of it ’s the past , and the better half , too , [I]_435-me should say , ”_[435-me] [she]_435-me added , turning to [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} . [Denham]_131-denham rose , half meaning to go , and thinking that [he]_131-denham had seen all that there was to see , but [Katharine]_{129-katharine} rose at the same moment , and saying , “ Perhaps [you]_131-denham would like to see the pictures , ”_{[129-katharine]} led the way across [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} to [a smaller room]_{437-a smaller room} opening out of [it]_{392-the drawing - room} . [The smaller room]_{438-the smaller room} was something like [a chapel]_{439-a chapel} in [a cathedral]_{440-a cathedral} , or a grotto in [a cave]_{441-a cave} , for the booming sound of the traffic in the distance suggested the soft surge of waters , and the oval mirrors , with their silver surface , were like deep pools trembling beneath starlight . But the comparison to [a religious temple of some kind]_{442-a religious temple of some kind} was the more apt of the two , for [the little room]_{443-the little room} was crowded with relics . As [Katharine]_{129-katharine} touched different spots , lights sprang here and there , and revealed a square mass of red - and - gold books , and then a long skirt in blue - and - white paint lustrous behind glass , and then a mahogany writing - table , with [its]_{392-the drawing - room} orderly equipment , and , finally , a picture above the table , to which special illumination was accorded . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had touched these last lights , [she]_{129-katharine} stood back , as much as to say , “ There ! ”_{[129-katharine]} [Denham]_131-denham found [himself]_131-denham looked down upon by the eyes of [the great poet]_{444-the great poet} , [Richard Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} , and suffered a little shock which would have led [him]_131-denham , had [he]_131-denham been wearing a hat , to remove it . The eyes looked at [him]_131-denham out of the mellow pinks and yellows of the paint with divine friendliness , which embraced [him]_131-denham , and passed on to contemplate [the entire world]_{445-the entire world} . The paint had so faded that very little but the beautiful large eyes were left , dark in the surrounding dimness . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} waited as though for [him]_131-denham to receive a full impression , and then [she]_{129-katharine} said : “ This is [his]_131-denham writing - table . [He]_131-denham used this pen , ”_{[129-katharine]} and [she]_{129-katharine} lifted a quill pen and laid it down again . The writing - table was splashed with old ink , and the pen disheveled in service . There lay the gigantic gold - rimmed spectacles , ready to [his]_131-denham hand , and beneath the table was a pair of large , worn slippers , one of which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} picked up , remarking : “ [I]_{129-katharine} think [[my]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{2938-my grandfather} must have been at least twice as large as [any one]_{2939-any one} is nowadays . This , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} went on , as if [she]_{129-katharine} knew what [she]_{129-katharine} had to say by heart , “ is the original manuscript of the ‘ Ode to [Winter]_140-winter . ’ The early poems are far less corrected than the later . Would [you]_{433-this young man} like to look at it ? ”_{[129-katharine]} While [Mr. Denham]_131-denham examined the manuscript , [she]_{129-katharine} glanced up at [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} , and , for the thousandth time , fell into a pleasant dreamy state in which [she]_{129-katharine} seemed to be [the companion of those giant men , of [their]_448-their own lineage]_{447-the companion of those giant men , of their own lineage} , at any rate , and the insignificant present moment was put to shame . [That magnificent ghostly head on the canvas]_{449-that magnificent ghostly head on the canvas} , surely , never beheld all the trivialities of a Sunday afternoon , and it did not seem to matter what [she]_{129-katharine} and [this young man]_{433-this young man} said to [each other]_{451-each other} , for [they]_452-they were [only small people]_{453-only small people} . “ This is a copy of the first edition of the poems , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} continued , without considering the fact that [Mr. Denham]_131-denham was still occupied with the manuscript , “ which contains several poems that have not been reprinted , as well as corrections . ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} paused for a minute , and then went on , as if these spaces had all been calculated . “ [That lady in blue]_{2940-that lady in blue} is [[my]_{129-katharine} great - grandmother]_{2941-my great - grandmother} , by [Millington]_{141-millington} . Here is [[my]_{129-katharine} uncle]_{2942-my uncle} ’s walking - stick — [he]_{2942-my uncle} was [Sir Richard Warburton]_{142-sir richard warburton} , [you]_2943-you know , and rode with [Havelock]_143-havelock to [the Relief of [Lucknow]_4-lucknow]_{2944-the relief of lucknow} . And then , let [me]_{129-katharine} see — oh , that ’s the original [Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} , 1697 , [the founder of the family fortunes]_{2945-the founder of the family fortunes} , with [[his]_{139-richard alardyce} wife]_{2946-his wife} . [Some one]_{376-some one} gave [us]_2948-us this bowl the other day because it has [their]_{376-some one} crest and initials . [We]_2948-us think it must have been given [them]_{376-some one} to celebrate [their]_{376-some one} silver wedding - day . ”_{[129-katharine]} Here [she]_454-her stopped for a moment , wondering why it was that [Mr. Denham]_131-denham said nothing . [Her]_454-her feeling that [he]_131-denham was antagonistic to [her]_454-her , which had lapsed while [she]_454-her thought of [her]_454-her family possessions , returned so keenly that [she]_454-her stopped in the middle of [her]_454-her catalog and looked at [him]_131-denham . [[Her]_454-her mother]_{380-her mother} , wishing to connect [him]_131-denham reputably with [the great dead]_{456-the great dead} , had compared [him]_131-denham with [Mr. Ruskin]_{137-mr. ruskin} ; and the comparison was in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s mind , and led [her]_454-her to be more critical of [the young man]_{457-the young man} than was fair , for [a young man paying a call in a tail - coat]_{458-a young man paying a call in a tail - coat} is in a different element altogether from a head seized at its climax of expressiveness , gazing immutably from behind a sheet of glass , which was all that remained to [her]_454-her of [Mr. Ruskin]_{137-mr. ruskin} . [He]_131-denham had a singular face — a face built for swiftness and decision rather than for massive contemplation ; the forehead broad , the nose long and formidable , the lips clean - shaven and at once dogged and sensitive , the cheeks lean , with a deeply running tide of red blood in them . [His]_131-denham eyes , expressive now of the usual masculine impersonality and authority , might reveal more subtle emotions under favorable circumstances , for they were large , and of a clear , brown color ; they seemed unexpectedly to hesitate and speculate ; but [Katharine]_{129-katharine} only looked at [him]_131-denham to wonder whether [his]_131-denham face would not have come nearer the standard of [[her]_{129-katharine} dead heroes]_{459-her dead heroes} if it had been adorned with side - whiskers . In [his]_131-denham spare build and thin , though healthy , cheeks , [she]_{129-katharine} saw tokens of [an angular and acrid soul]_{460-an angular and acrid soul} . [His]_131-denham voice , [she]_{129-katharine} noticed , had a slight vibrating or creaking sound in it , as [he]_131-denham laid down the manuscript and said : “ [You]_{129-katharine} must be very proud of [[your]_{129-katharine} family]_{2949-your family} , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . ”_[131-denham] “ Yes , [I]_{129-katharine} am , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} answered , and [she]_{129-katharine} added , “ Do [you]_131-denham think there ’s anything wrong in that ? ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Wrong ? How should it be wrong ? It must be a bore , though , showing [your]_{129-katharine} things to [visitors]_{2950-visitors} , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham added reflectively . “ Not if [the visitors]_{2951-the visitors} like [them]_{2950-visitors} . ”_[131-denham] “ Is n’t it difficult to live up to [[your]_{129-katharine} ancestors]_{2952-your ancestors} ? ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham proceeded . “ [I]_{129-katharine} dare say [I]_{129-katharine} should n’t try to write poetry , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “ No . And that ’s what [I]_131-denham should hate . [I]_131-denham could n’t bear [[my]_131-denham grandfather]_{2938-my grandfather} to cut [me]_131-denham out . And , after all , ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham went on , glancing round [him]_131-denham satirically , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought , “ it ’s not [[your]_131-denham grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} only . [You]_131-denham ’re cut out all the way round . [I]_131-denham suppose [you]_131-denham come of [one of [the most distinguished families in [England]_5-england]_{2956-the most distinguished families in england}]_{2955-one of the most distinguished families in england} . There are [the Warburtons]_{144-the warburtons} and [the Mannings]_{145-the mannings} — and [you]_131-denham ’re related to [the Otways]_{146-the otways} , are n’t [you]_131-denham ? [I]_131-denham read it all in some magazine , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham added . “ [The Otways]_{146-the otways} are [[my]_{129-katharine} cousins]_{2957-my cousins} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “ Well , ”_[131-denham] said [Denham]_131-denham , in a final tone of voice , as if [his]_131-denham argument were proved . “ Well , ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t see that [you]_131-denham ’ve proved anything . ”_{[129-katharine]} [Denham]_131-denham smiled , in a peculiarly provoking way . [He]_131-denham was amused and gratified to find that [he]_131-denham had the power to annoy [[his]_131-denham oblivious , supercilious hostess]_{461-his oblivious , supercilious hostess} , if [he]_131-denham could not impress [her]_{461-his oblivious , supercilious hostess} ; though [he]_131-denham would have preferred to impress [her]_{461-his oblivious , supercilious hostess} . [He]_131-denham sat silent , holding the precious little book of poems unopened in [his]_131-denham hands , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} watched [him]_131-denham , the melancholy or contemplative expression deepening in [her]_{129-katharine} eyes as [her]_{129-katharine} annoyance faded . [She]_{129-katharine} appeared to be considering many things . [She]_{129-katharine} had forgotten [her]_{129-katharine} duties . “ Well , ”_[131-denham] said [Denham]_131-denham again , suddenly opening the little book of poems , as though [he]_131-denham had said all that [he]_131-denham meant to say or could , with propriety , say . [He]_131-denham turned over the pages with great decision , as if [he]_131-denham were judging the book in its entirety , the printing and paper and binding , as well as the poetry , and then , having satisfied [himself]_131-denham of its good or bad quality , [he]_131-denham placed it on the writing - table , and examined the malacca cane with the gold knob which had belonged to [the soldier]_{462-the soldier} . “ But are n’t [you]_131-denham proud of [[your]_131-denham family]_{2949-your family} ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} demanded . “ No , ”_[131-denham] said [Denham]_131-denham . “ [We]_{2949-your family} ’ve never done anything to be proud of — unless [you]_{129-katharine} count paying [one]_422-one ’s bills a matter for pride . ”_[131-denham] “ That sounds rather dull , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked . “ [You]_{129-katharine} would think [us]_{2949-your family} horribly dull , ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham agreed . “ Yes , [I]_{129-katharine} might find [you]_131-denham dull , but [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t think [I]_{129-katharine} should find [you]_131-denham ridiculous , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} added , as if [Denham]_131-denham had actually brought that charge against [[her]_{129-katharine} family]_{463-her family} . “ No — because [we]_{2949-your family} ’re not in the least ridiculous . [We]_{2949-your family} ’re [a respectable middle - class family]_{2960-a respectable middle - class family} , living at [Highgate]_6-highgate . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [We]_{2949-your family} do n’t live at [Highgate]_6-highgate , but [we]_{2949-your family} ’re middle class too , [I]_131-denham suppose . ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham merely smiled , and replacing the malacca cane on the rack , [he]_131-denham drew a sword from its ornamental sheath . “ That belonged to [Clive]_147-clive , so [we]_{2949-your family} say , ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , taking up [her]_{129-katharine} duties as [hostess]_464-hostess again automatically . “ Is it a lie ? ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham inquired . “ It ’s a family tradition . [I]_131-denham do n’t know that [we]_{2949-your family} can prove it . ”_[131-denham] “ [You]_{129-katharine} see , [we]_{2949-your family} do n’t have traditions in [[our]_{2949-your family} family]_{2961-our family} , ”_[131-denham] said [Denham]_131-denham . “ [You]_131-denham sound very dull , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked , for the second time . “ Merely middle class , ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham replied . “ [You]_{129-katharine} pay [your]_{129-katharine} bills , and [you]_{129-katharine} speak the truth . [I]_131-denham do n’t see why [you]_{129-katharine} should despise [us]_{2949-your family} . ”_[131-denham] [Mr. Denham]_131-denham carefully sheathed the sword which [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} said belonged to [Clive]_147-clive . “ [I]_131-denham should n’t like to be [you]_{129-katharine} ; that ’s all [I]_131-denham said , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham replied , as if [he]_131-denham were saying what [he]_131-denham thought as accurately as [he]_131-denham could . “ No , but [one]_422-one never would like to be [any one else]_{2963-any one else} . ”_[131-denham] “ [I]_131-denham should . [I]_131-denham should like to be lots of [other people]_{2964-other people} . ”_[131-denham] “ Then why not [us]_2965-us ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . [Denham]_131-denham looked at [her]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{129-katharine} sat in [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s arm - chair , drawing [[her]_{129-katharine} great - uncle]_{466-her great - uncle} ’s malacca cane smoothly through [her]_{129-katharine} fingers , while [her]_{129-katharine} background was made up equally of lustrous blue - and - white paint , and crimson books with gilt lines on them . The vitality and composure of [her]_{129-katharine} attitude , as of a bright - plumed bird poised easily before further flights , roused [him]_131-denham to show [her]_{129-katharine} the limitations of [her]_{129-katharine} lot . So soon , so easily , would [he]_131-denham be forgotten . “ [You]_{129-katharine} ’ll never know anything at first hand , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham began , almost savagely . “ It ’s all been done for [you]_{129-katharine} . [You]_{129-katharine} ’ll never know the pleasure of buying things after saving up for them , or reading books for the first time , or making discoveries . ”_[131-denham] “ Go on , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed , as [he]_131-denham paused , suddenly doubtful , when [he]_131-denham heard [his]_131-denham voice proclaiming aloud these facts , whether there was any truth in them . “ Of course , [I]_131-denham do n’t know how [you]_{129-katharine} spend [your]_{129-katharine} time , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham continued , a little stiffly , “ but [I]_131-denham suppose [you]_{129-katharine} have to show [people]_383-people round . [You]_{129-katharine} are writing a life of [[your]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} , are n’t [you]_{129-katharine} ? And this kind of thing”—he_[131-denham] nodded towards [the other room]_{467-the other room} , where [they]_468-they could hear bursts of cultivated laughter—“must take up a lot of time . ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_131-denham expectantly , as if between [them]_468-they [they]_468-they were decorating a small figure of [herself]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} saw [him]_131-denham hesitating in the disposition of some bow or sash . “ [You]_131-denham ’ve got it very nearly right , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , “ but [I]_{129-katharine} only help [[my]_{129-katharine} mother]_{2968-my mother} . [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t write [myself]_{129-katharine} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Do [you]_131-denham do anything [yourself]_131-denham ? ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham demanded . “ What do [you]_131-denham mean ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t leave [the house]_{377-the house} at ten and come back at six . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_131-denham do n’t mean that . ”_[131-denham] [Mr. Denham]_131-denham had recovered [his]_131-denham self - control ; [he]_131-denham spoke with a quietness which made [Katharine]_{129-katharine} rather anxious that [he]_131-denham should explain [himself]_131-denham , but at the same time [she]_{129-katharine} wished to annoy [him]_131-denham , to waft [him]_131-denham away from [her]_{129-katharine} on some light current of ridicule or satire , as [she]_{129-katharine} was wo nt to do with [these intermittent young men of [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s]_{469-these intermittent young men of her father ’s} . “ [Nobody]_2970-nobody ever does do anything worth doing nowadays , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} remarked . “ [You]_131-denham see”—she_{[129-katharine]} tapped the volume of [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s poems—“we do n’t even print as well as [they]_{469-these intermittent young men of her father ’s} did , and as for [poets]_2971-poets or [painters]_{2972-painters} or [novelists]_{408-novelists} — there are none ; so , at any rate , [I]_{129-katharine} ’m not singular . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ No , [we]_2974-we have n’t [any great men]_{2975-any great men} , ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham replied . “ [I]_131-denham ’m very glad that [we]_2974-we have n’t . [I]_131-denham hate [great men]_{2976-great men} . The worship of greatness in the nineteenth century seems to [me]_131-denham to explain the worthlessness of that generation . ”_[131-denham] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} opened [her]_{129-katharine} lips and drew in [her]_{129-katharine} breath , as if to reply with equal vigor , when the shutting of a door in [the next room]_{472-the next room} withdrew [her]_{129-katharine} attention , and [they]_473-they both became conscious that the voices , which had been rising and falling round the tea - table , had fallen silent ; the light , even , seemed to have sunk lower . A moment later [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} appeared in the doorway of [the ante - room]_{474-the ante - room} . [She]_{129-katharine} stood looking at [them]_475-them with a smile of expectancy on [her]_{129-katharine} face , as if a scene from the drama of [the younger generation]_{476-the younger generation} were being played for [her]_{129-katharine} benefit . [She]_{129-katharine} was [a remarkable - looking woman]_{477-a remarkable - looking woman} , well advanced in the sixties , but owing to the lightness of [her]_{129-katharine} frame and the brightness of [her]_{129-katharine} eyes [she]_{129-katharine} seemed to have been wafted over the surface of the years without taking much harm in the passage . [Her]_{129-katharine} face was shrunken and aquiline , but any hint of sharpness was dispelled by the large blue eyes , at once sagacious and innocent , which seemed to regard [the world]_{478-the world} with an enormous desire that it should behave itself nobly , and an entire confidence that it could do so , if it would only take the pains . Certain lines on the broad forehead and about the lips might be taken to suggest that [she]_{129-katharine} had known moments of some difficulty and perplexity in the course of [her]_{129-katharine} career , but these had not destroyed [her]_{129-katharine} trustfulness , and [she]_{129-katharine} was clearly still prepared to give every one any number of fresh chances and the whole system the benefit of the doubt . [She]_{129-katharine} wore a great resemblance to [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , and suggested , as [he]_{406-her father} did , the fresh airs and open spaces of [a younger world]_{480-a younger world} . “ Well , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , “ how do [you]_131-denham like [our]_2977-us things , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Mr. Denham]_131-denham rose , put [his]_131-denham book down , opened [his]_131-denham mouth , but said nothing , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed , with some amusement . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} handled the book [he]_131-denham had laid down . “ There are some books that live , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mused . “ [They]_2978-they are young with [us]_2977-us , and [they]_2978-they grow old with [us]_2977-us . Are [you]_131-denham fond of poetry , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? But what an absurd question to ask ! The truth is , [dear Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} has almost tired [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} out . [He]_{132-mr. fortescue} is so eloquent and so witty , so searching and so profound that , after half an hour or so , [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} feel inclined to turn out all the lights . But perhaps [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} ’d be more wonderful than ever in the dark . What d’you think , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? Shall [we]_2977-us give a little party in complete darkness ? There ’d have to be bright rooms for [the bores]_{2979-the bores} .... ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} Here [Mr. Denham]_131-denham held out [his]_131-denham hand . “ But [we]_2977-us ’ve any number of things to show [you]_{129-katharine} ! ”_[131-denham] [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed , taking no notice of it . “ Books , pictures , china , manuscripts , and the very chair that [Mary Queen of Scots]_{149-mary queen of scots} sat in when [she]_{149-mary queen of scots} heard of [Darnley]_150-darnley ’s murder . [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} must lie down for a little , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} must change [her]_{129-katharine} dress ( though [she]_{129-katharine} ’s wearing a very pretty one ) , but if [you]_{129-katharine} do n’t mind being left alone , supper will be at eight . [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} dare say [you]_{129-katharine} ’ll write a poem of [your]_{129-katharine} own while [you]_{129-katharine} ’re waiting . Ah , how [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} love the firelight ! Does n’t [[our]_2980-our room]_{2981-our room} look charming ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stepped back and bade [them]_481-them contemplate [the empty drawing - room]_{482-the empty drawing - room} , with [its]_{482-the empty drawing - room} rich , irregular lights , as the flames leapt and wavered . “ Dear things ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “ Dear chairs and tables ! How like [old friends]_{2982-old friends} [they]_{2982-old friends} are — faithful , [silent friends]_{2983-silent friends} . Which reminds [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [little Mr. Anning]_{151-little mr. anning} is coming to - night , and [Tite Street]_{7-tite street} , and [Cadogan Square]_{8-cadogan square} .... Do remember to get that drawing of [[your]_{129-katharine} great - uncle]_{2984-your great - uncle} glazed . [Aunt Millicent]_{152-aunt millicent} remarked it last time [she]_{152-aunt millicent} was [here]_2985-here , and [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} know how it would hurt [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} to see [[my]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{2986-my father} in a broken glass . ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} It was like tearing through a maze of diamond - glittering spiders ’ webs to say good - bye and escape , for at each movement [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} remembered something further about the villainies of [picture - framers]_{483-picture - framers} or the delights of poetry , and at one time it seemed to [the young man]_{457-the young man} that [he]_{457-the young man} would be hypnotized into doing what [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pretended to want [him]_{457-the young man} to do , for [he]_{457-the young man} could not suppose that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} attached any value whatever to [his]_{457-the young man} presence . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , however , made an opportunity for [him]_{457-the young man} to leave , and for that [he]_{457-the young man} was grateful to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , as [one young person]_{485-one young person} is grateful for the understanding of another . [The young man]_{457-the young man} shut the door with a sharper slam than [any visitor]_{487-any visitor} had used that afternoon , and walked up [the street]_{397-the street} at a great pace , cutting the air with [his]_{457-the young man} walking - stick . [He]_{457-the young man} was glad to find [himself]_{457-the young man} outside [that drawing - room]_{489-that drawing - room} , breathing raw fog , and in contact with [unpolished people who only wanted [their]_{490-unpolished people who only wanted their share of the pavement allowed them} share of the pavement allowed [them]_{490-unpolished people who only wanted their share of the pavement allowed them}]_{490-unpolished people who only wanted their share of the pavement allowed them} . [He]_{457-the young man} thought that if [he]_{457-the young man} had had [Mr.]_491-mr. or [Mrs.]_492-mrs. or [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} out [here]_2985-here [he]_{457-the young man} would have made [them]_494-them , somehow , feel [his]_{457-the young man} superiority , for [he]_{457-the young man} was chafed by the memory of halting awkward sentences which had failed to give even [the young woman with the sad , but inwardly ironical eyes]_{495-the young woman with the sad , but inwardly ironical eyes} a hint of [his]_{457-the young man} force . [He]_{457-the young man} tried to recall the actual words of [his]_{457-the young man} little outburst , and unconsciously supplemented them by so many words of greater expressiveness that the irritation of [his]_{457-the young man} failure was somewhat assuaged . Sudden stabs of the unmitigated truth assailed [him]_{457-the young man} now and then , for [he]_{457-the young man} was not inclined by nature to take a rosy view of [his]_{457-the young man} conduct , but what with the beat of [his]_{457-the young man} foot upon [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} , and the glimpse which half - drawn curtains offered [him]_{457-the young man} of [kitchens]_497-kitchens , [dining - rooms]_{498-dining - rooms} , and [drawing - rooms]_{499-drawing - rooms} , illustrating with mute power different scenes from different lives , [his]_{457-the young man} own experience lost its sharpness . [His]_{457-the young man} own experience underwent a curious change . [His]_{457-the young man} speed slackened , [his]_{457-the young man} head sank a little towards [his]_{457-the young man} breast , and the lamplight shone now and again upon a face grown strangely tranquil . [His]_{457-the young man} thought was so absorbing that when it became necessary to verify the name of [a street]_{500-a street} , [he]_{457-the young man} looked at it for a time before [he]_{457-the young man} read it ; when [he]_{457-the young man} came to [a crossing]_{501-a crossing} , [he]_{457-the young man} seemed to have to reassure [himself]_{457-the young man} by two or three taps , such as [a blind man]_{502-a blind man} gives , upon the curb ; and , reaching [the Underground station]_{503-the underground station} , [he]_{457-the young man} blinked in the bright circle of light , glanced at [his]_{457-the young man} watch , decided that [he]_{457-the young man} might still indulge [himself]_{457-the young man} in darkness , and walked straight on . And yet the thought was the thought with which [he]_{457-the young man} had started . [He]_{457-the young man} was still thinking about [the people in [the house which [he]_{457-the young man} had left]_{505-the house which he had left}]_{504-the people in the house which he had left} ; but instead of remembering , with whatever accuracy [he]_{457-the young man} could , [their]_{504-the people in the house which he had left} looks and sayings , [he]_{457-the young man} had consciously taken leave of the literal truth . A turn of [the street]_{397-the street} , [a firelit room]_{507-a firelit room} , something monumental in the procession of the lamp - posts , who shall say what accident of light or shape had suddenly changed the prospect within [his]_{457-the young man} mind , and led [him]_{457-the young man} to murmur aloud : “ [She]_2987-she ’ll do .... Yes , [Katharine Hilbery’ll]_{153-katharine hilbery’ll} do .... [I]_{457-the young man} ’ll take [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . ”_{[457-the young man]} As soon as [he]_{457-the young man} had said this , [his]_{457-the young man} pace slackened , [his]_{457-the young man} head fell , [his]_{457-the young man} eyes became fixed . The desire to justify [himself]_{457-the young man} , which had been so urgent , ceased to torment [him]_{457-the young man} , and , as if released from constraint , so that [they]_508-they worked without friction or bidding , [his]_{457-the young man} faculties leapt forward and fixed , as a matter of course , upon the form of [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . It was marvellous how much [they]_508-they found to feed upon , considering the destructive nature of [Denham]_131-denham ’s criticism in [her]_{129-katharine} presence . The charm , which [he]_{457-the young man} had tried to disown , when under the effect of it , the beauty , the character , the aloofness , which [he]_{457-the young man} had been determined not to feel , now possessed [him]_{457-the young man} wholly ; and when , as happened by the nature of things , [he]_{457-the young man} had exhausted [his]_{457-the young man} memory , [he]_{457-the young man} went on with [his]_{457-the young man} imagination . [He]_{457-the young man} was conscious of what [he]_{457-the young man} was about , for in thus dwelling upon [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ’s qualities , [he]_{457-the young man} showed a kind of method , as if [he]_{457-the young man} required this vision of [her]_{129-katharine} for a particular purpose . [He]_{457-the young man} increased [her]_{129-katharine} height , [he]_{457-the young man} darkened [her]_{129-katharine} hair ; but physically there was not much to change in [her]_{129-katharine} . [His]_{457-the young man} most daring liberty was taken with [her]_{129-katharine} mind , which , for reasons of [his]_{457-the young man} own , [he]_{457-the young man} desired to be exalted and infallible , and of such independence that it was only in the case of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph that it swerved from its high , swift flight , but where [he]_{457-the young man} was concerned , though fastidious at first , [she]_{129-katharine} finally swooped from [her]_{129-katharine} eminence to crown [him]_{457-the young man} with [her]_{129-katharine} approval . These delicious details , however , were to be worked out in all their ramifications at [his]_{457-the young man} leisure ; the main point was that [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} would do ; [she]_{129-katharine} would do for weeks , perhaps for months . In taking [her]_{129-katharine} [he]_{457-the young man} had provided [himself]_{457-the young man} with something the lack of which had left a bare place in [his]_{457-the young man} mind for a considerable time . [He]_{457-the young man} gave a sigh of satisfaction ; [his]_{457-the young man} consciousness of [his]_{457-the young man} actual position somewhere in [the neighborhood of [Knightsbridge]_{9-knightsbridge}]_{509-the neighborhood of knightsbridge} returned to [him]_{457-the young man} , and [he]_{457-the young man} was soon speeding in [the train]_{510-the train} towards [Highgate]_6-highgate . Although thus supported by the knowledge of [his]_{457-the young man} new possession of considerable value , [he]_{457-the young man} was not proof against the familiar thoughts which [the suburban streets]_{511-the suburban streets} and the damp shrubs growing in [front gardens]_{512-front gardens} and the absurd names painted in white upon the gates of [those gardens]_{513-those gardens} suggested to [him]_{457-the young man} . [His]_{457-the young man} walk was uphill , and [his]_{457-the young man} mind dwelt gloomily upon [the house which [he]_{457-the young man} approached , where [he]_{457-the young man} would find [six or seven brothers]_{515-six or seven brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters]_{514-the house which he approached , where he would find six or seven brothers and sisters} , [a widowed mother]_{517-a widowed mother} , and , probably , [some aunt]_{518-some aunt} or [uncle sitting down to an unpleasant meal under a very bright light]_{519-uncle sitting down to an unpleasant meal under a very bright light} . Should [he]_{457-the young man} put in force the threat which , two weeks ago , some such gathering had wrung from [him]_{457-the young man} — the terrible threat that if [visitors]_{2950-visitors} came on Sunday [he]_{457-the young man} should dine alone in [[his]_{457-the young man} room]_{521-his room} ? A glance in the direction of [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} determined [him]_{457-the young man} to make [his]_{457-the young man} stand this very night , and accordingly , having let [himself]_{457-the young man} in , having verified the presence of [Uncle Joseph]_{155-uncle joseph} by means of a bowler hat and a very large umbrella , [he]_{457-the young man} gave [his]_{457-the young man} orders to [the maid]_{522-the maid} , and went [upstairs]_523-upstairs to [[his]_{457-the young man} room]_{521-his room} . [He]_{457-the young man} went up a great many flights of stairs , and [he]_{457-the young man} noticed , as [he]_{457-the young man} had very seldom noticed , how the carpet became steadily shabbier , until it ceased altogether , how the walls were discolored , sometimes by cascades of damp , and sometimes by the outlines of picture - frames since removed , how the paper flapped loose at the corners , and a great flake of plaster had fallen from the ceiling . [The room]_{379-the room} itself was a cheerless one to return to at this inauspicious hour . A flattened sofa would , later in the evening , become a bed ; one of the tables concealed a washing apparatus ; [his]_{457-the young man} clothes and boots were disagreeably mixed with books which bore the gilt of college arms ; and , for decoration , there hung upon the wall photographs of [bridges]_526-bridges and [cathedrals]_{527-cathedrals} and [large , unprepossessing groups of insufficiently clothed young men]_{528-large , unprepossessing groups of insufficiently clothed young men} , sitting in rows one above another upon stone steps . There was a look of meanness and shabbiness in the furniture and curtains , and nowhere any sign of luxury or even of a cultivated taste , unless the cheap classics in the book - case were a sign of an effort in that direction . The only object that threw any light upon the character of [[the room]_{379-the room} ’s owner]_{530-the room ’s owner} was a large perch , placed in the window to catch the air and sun , upon which [a tame and , apparently , decrepit rook]_{531-a tame and , apparently , decrepit rook} hopped dryly from side to side . The bird , encouraged by a scratch behind the ear , settled upon [Denham]_154-ralph ’s shoulder . [He]_{457-the young man} lit [his]_{457-the young man} gas - fire and settled down in gloomy patience to await [his]_{457-the young man} dinner . After sitting thus for some minutes [a small girl]_{532-a small girl} popped [her]_{532-a small girl} head in to say , “ [Mother]_2916-mother says , are n’t [you]_154-ralph coming down , [Ralph]_154-ralph ? [Uncle Joseph]_{155-uncle joseph} — ”_{[532-a small girl]} “ [They]_534-they ’re to bring [my]_154-ralph dinner up here , ”_[154-ralph] said [Ralph]_154-ralph , peremptorily ; whereupon [she]_{532-a small girl} vanished , leaving the door ajar in [her]_{532-a small girl} haste to be gone . After [Denham]_154-ralph had waited some minutes , in the course of which neither [he]_154-ralph nor [the rook]_{533-the rook} took [their]_534-they eyes off the fire , [he]_{457-the young man} muttered a curse , ran [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , intercepted [the parlor - maid]_{536-the parlor - maid} , and cut [himself]_{457-the young man} a slice of bread and cold meat . As [he]_{457-the young man} did so , the dining - room door sprang open , a voice exclaimed “ [Ralph]_154-ralph ! ”_[154-ralph] but [Ralph]_154-ralph paid no attention to the voice , and made off [upstairs]_523-upstairs with [his]_154-ralph plate . [He]_154-ralph set it down in a chair opposite [him]_154-ralph , and ate with a ferocity that was due partly to anger and partly to hunger . [[His]_154-ralph mother]_{538-his mother} , then , was determined not to respect [his]_154-ralph wishes ; [he]_154-ralph was [a person of no importance in [[his]_154-ralph own family]_{540-his own family}]_{539-a person of no importance in his own family} ; [he]_154-ralph was sent for and treated as [a child]_{541-a child} . [He]_154-ralph reflected , with a growing sense of injury , that almost every one of [his]_154-ralph actions since opening the door of [[his]_154-ralph room]_{521-his room} had been won from the grasp of the family system . By rights , [he]_154-ralph should have been sitting [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} describing [his]_154-ralph afternoon ’s adventures , or listening to the afternoon ’s adventures of [other people]_{2964-other people} ; [the room itself]_{546-the room itself} , the gas - fire , the arm - chair — all had been fought for ; the wretched bird , with half its feathers out and one leg lamed by a cat , had been rescued under protest ; but what [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} most resented , [he]_154-ralph reflected , was [his]_154-ralph wish for privacy . To dine alone , or to sit alone after dinner , was flat rebellion , to be fought with every weapon of underhand stealth or of open appeal . Which did [he]_154-ralph dislike most — deception or tears ? But , at any rate , [they]_548-they could not rob [him]_154-ralph of [his]_154-ralph thoughts ; [they]_548-they could not make [him]_154-ralph say where [he]_154-ralph had been or whom [he]_154-ralph had seen . That was [his]_154-ralph own affair ; that , indeed , was a step entirely in the right direction , and , lighting [his]_154-ralph pipe , and cutting up the remains of [his]_154-ralph meal for the benefit of [the rook]_{533-the rook} , [Ralph]_154-ralph calmed [his]_154-ralph rather excessive irritation and settled down to think over [his]_154-ralph prospects . This particular afternoon was a step in the right direction , because it was part of [his]_154-ralph plan to get to know [people beyond the family]_{550-people beyond the family} circuit , just as it was part of [his]_154-ralph plan to learn German this autumn , and to review legal books for [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s “ Critical Review . ”_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph had always made plans since [he]_154-ralph was [a small boy]_{551-a small boy} ; for poverty , and the fact that [he]_154-ralph was [the eldest son of [a large family]_{553-a large family}]_{552-the eldest son of a large family} , had given [him]_154-ralph the habit of thinking of spring and summer , autumn and winter , as so many stages in a prolonged campaign . Although [he]_154-ralph was still under thirty , this forecasting habit had marked two semicircular lines above [his]_154-ralph eyebrows , which threatened , at this moment , to crease into their wonted shapes . But instead of settling down to think , [he]_154-ralph rose , took a small piece of cardboard marked in large letters with the word OUT , and hung it upon the handle of [his]_154-ralph door . This done , [he]_154-ralph sharpened a pencil , lit a reading - lamp and opened [his]_154-ralph book . But still [he]_154-ralph hesitated to take [his]_154-ralph seat . [He]_154-ralph scratched the rook , [he]_154-ralph walked to the window ; [he]_154-ralph parted the curtains , and looked down upon [the city which lay , hazily luminous , beneath [him]_154-ralph]_{554-the city which lay , hazily luminous , beneath him} . [He]_154-ralph looked across the vapors in the direction of [Chelsea]_10-chelsea ; looked fixedly for a moment , and then returned to [his]_154-ralph chair . But the whole thickness of [some learned counsel]_{555-some learned counsel} ’s treatise upon Torts did not screen [him]_154-ralph satisfactorily . Through the pages [he]_154-ralph saw [a drawing - room]_{556-a drawing - room} , very empty and spacious ; [he]_154-ralph heard low voices , [he]_154-ralph saw [women]_557-women ’s figures , [he]_154-ralph could even smell the scent of the cedar log which flamed in the grate . [His]_154-ralph mind relaxed its tension , and seemed to be giving out now what it had taken in unconsciously at the time . [He]_154-ralph could remember [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} ’s exact words , and the rolling emphasis with which [he]_{132-mr. fortescue} delivered them , and [he]_154-ralph began to repeat what [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} had said , in [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} ’s own manner , about [Manchester]_1-manchester . [His]_154-ralph mind then began to wander about [the house]_{377-the house} , and [he]_154-ralph wondered whether there were [other rooms like [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room}]_{559-other rooms like the drawing - room} , and [he]_154-ralph thought , inconsequently , how beautiful [the bathroom]_{561-the bathroom} must be , and how leisurely it was — the life of [these well - kept people , who were , no doubt , still sitting in [the same room]_{563-the same room} , only [they]_{562-these well - kept people , who were , no doubt , still sitting in the same room , only they had changed their clothes} had changed [their]_{562-these well - kept people , who were , no doubt , still sitting in the same room , only they had changed their clothes} clothes]_{562-these well - kept people , who were , no doubt , still sitting in the same room , only they had changed their clothes} , and [little Mr. Anning]_{151-little mr. anning} was [there]_2927-there , and [the aunt who would mind if the glass of [[her]_{565-the aunt who would mind if the glass of her father ’s picture was broken} father]_{406-her father} ’s picture was broken]_{565-the aunt who would mind if the glass of her father ’s picture was broken} . [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} had changed [her]_{129-katharine} dress ( “ although [she]_{129-katharine} ’s wearing such a pretty one , ”_{[129-katharine]} [he]_154-ralph heard [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} say ) , and [she]_{129-katharine} was talking to [Mr. Anning]_{151-little mr. anning} , who was well over forty , and bald into the bargain , about books . How peaceful and spacious it was ; and the peace possessed [him]_154-ralph so completely that [his]_154-ralph muscles slackened , [his]_154-ralph book drooped from [his]_154-ralph hand , and [he]_154-ralph forgot that the hour of work was wasting minute by minute . [He]_154-ralph was roused by a creak upon the stair . With a guilty start [he]_154-ralph composed [himself]_154-ralph , frowned and looked intently at the fifty - sixth page of [his]_154-ralph volume . A step paused outside [his]_154-ralph door , and [he]_154-ralph knew that [the person]_{568-the person} , whoever it might be , was considering the placard , and debating whether to honor its decree or not . Certainly , policy advised [him]_154-ralph to sit still in autocratic silence , for no custom can take root in [a family]_{569-a family} unless every breach of it is punished severely for the first six months or so . But [Ralph]_154-ralph was conscious of a distinct wish to be interrupted , and [his]_154-ralph disappointment was perceptible when [he]_154-ralph heard the creaking sound rather farther down the stairs , as if [[his]_154-ralph visitor]_{570-his visitor} had decided to withdraw . [He]_154-ralph rose , opened the door with unnecessary abruptness , and waited on [the landing]_{571-the landing} . [The person]_{568-the person} stopped simultaneously half a flight [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} . “ [Ralph]_154-ralph ? ”_{[568-the person]} said a voice , inquiringly . “ [Joan]_156-joan ? ”_{[568-the person]} “ [I]_{568-the person} was coming up , but [I]_{568-the person} saw [your]_154-ralph notice . ”_{[568-the person]} “ Well , come along in , then . ”_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph concealed [his]_154-ralph desire beneath a tone as grudging as [he]_154-ralph could make it . [Joan]_156-joan came in , but [she]_156-joan was careful to show , by standing upright with one hand upon the mantelpiece , that [she]_156-joan was only there for a definite purpose , which discharged , [she]_156-joan would go . [She]_156-joan was older than [Ralph]_154-ralph by some three or four years . [Her]_156-joan face was round but worn , and expressed that tolerant but anxious good humor which is the special attribute of [elder sisters in [large families]_{575-large families}]_{574-elder sisters in large families} . [Her]_156-joan pleasant brown eyes resembled [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s , save in expression , for whereas [he]_154-ralph seemed to look straightly and keenly at one object , [she]_156-joan appeared to be in the habit of considering everything from many different points of view . This made [her]_156-joan appear [[his]_154-ralph elder]_{576-his elder} by more years than existed in fact between [them]_577-them . [Her]_156-joan gaze rested for a moment or two upon the rook . [She]_156-joan then said , without any preface : “ It ’s about [Charles]_157-charles and [Uncle John]_{158-uncle john} ’s offer .... [Mother]_159-mother ’s been talking to [me]_156-joan . [She]_159-mother says [she]_159-mother ca n’t afford to pay for [him]_157-charles after this term . [She]_159-mother says [she]_159-mother ’ll have to ask for an overdraft as it is . ”_[156-joan] “ That ’s simply not true , ”_[154-ralph] said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “ No . [I]_154-ralph thought not . But [she]_159-mother wo n’t believe [me]_154-ralph when [I]_154-ralph say it . ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph , as if [he]_154-ralph could foresee the length of this familiar argument , drew up a chair for [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} and sat down [himself]_154-ralph . “ [I]_{578-his sister} ’m not interrupting ? ”_{[578-his sister]} [she]_{578-his sister} inquired . [Ralph]_154-ralph shook [his]_154-ralph head , and for a time [they]_579-they sat silent . The lines curved themselves in semicircles above [their]_579-they eyes . “ [She]_159-mother does n’t understand that [one]_422-one ’s got to take risks , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph observed , finally . “ [I]_154-ralph believe [mother]_2916-mother would take risks if [she]_159-mother knew that [Charles]_157-charles was [the sort of boy to profit by it]_{2991-the sort of boy to profit by it} . ”_[154-ralph] “ [He]_157-charles ’s got brains , has n’t [he]_157-charles ? ”_[154-ralph] said [Ralph]_154-ralph . [His]_154-ralph tone had taken on that shade of pugnacity which suggested to [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} that some personal grievance drove [him]_154-ralph to take the line [he]_154-ralph did . [She]_{578-his sister} wondered what it might be , but at once recalled [her]_{578-his sister} mind , and assented . “ In some ways [he]_157-charles ’s fearfully backward , though , compared with what [you]_{578-his sister} were at [his]_157-charles age . And [he]_157-charles ’s difficult at [home]_2992-home , too . [He]_157-charles makes [Molly]_{149-mary queen of scots} slave for [him]_157-charles . ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph made a sound which belittled this particular argument . It was plain to [Joan]_156-joan that [she]_156-joan had struck one of [[her]_156-joan brother]_{581-her brother} ’s perverse moods , and [he]_154-ralph was going to oppose whatever [[his]_154-ralph mother]_{538-his mother} said . [He]_154-ralph called [her]_156-joan “ [she]_156-joan , ”_[154-ralph] which was a proof of it . [She]_156-joan sighed involuntarily , and the sigh annoyed [Ralph]_154-ralph , and [he]_154-ralph exclaimed with irritation : “ It ’s pretty hard lines to stick [a boy]_{2993-a boy} into [an office]_{2994-an office} at seventeen ! ”_[154-ralph] “ [Nobody]_2970-nobody wants to stick [him]_{581-her brother} into [an office]_{2994-an office} , ”_[156-joan] [she]_156-joan said . [She]_156-joan , too , was becoming annoyed . [She]_156-joan had spent the whole of the afternoon discussing wearisome details of education and expense with [[her]_156-joan mother]_{380-her mother} , and [she]_156-joan had come to [[her]_156-joan brother]_{581-her brother} for help , encouraged , rather irrationally , to expect help by the fact that [he]_{581-her brother} had been out somewhere , [she]_156-joan did n’t know and did n’t mean to ask where , all the afternoon . [Ralph]_154-ralph was fond of [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} , and [her]_{578-his sister} irritation made [him]_154-ralph think how unfair it was that all these burdens should be laid on [her]_{578-his sister} shoulders . “ The truth is , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph observed gloomily , “ that [I]_154-ralph ought to have accepted [Uncle John]_{158-uncle john} ’s offer . [I]_154-ralph should have been making six hundred a year by this time . ”_[154-ralph] “ [I]_156-joan do n’t think that for a moment , ”_[156-joan] [Joan]_156-joan replied quickly , repenting of [her]_156-joan annoyance . “ The question , to [my]_156-joan mind , is , whether [we]_2997-we could n’t cut down [our]_2997-we expenses in some way . ”_[156-joan] “ [A smaller house]_{2998-a smaller house} ? ”_[154-ralph] “ [Fewer servants]_{2999-fewer servants} , perhaps . ”_[156-joan] [Neither brother]_{586-neither brother} nor [sister]_587-sister spoke with much conviction , and after reflecting for a moment what these proposed reforms in [a strictly economical household]_{588-a strictly economical household} meant , [Ralph]_154-ralph announced very decidedly : “ It ’s out of the question . ”_[154-ralph] It was out of the question that [she]_156-joan should put any more household work upon [herself]_156-joan . No , the hardship must fall on [him]_154-ralph , for [he]_154-ralph was determined that [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} should have as many chances of distinguishing [themselves]_{547-his family} as [other families]_{590-other families} had — as [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} had , for example . [He]_154-ralph believed secretly and rather defiantly , for it was a fact not capable of proof , that there was something very remarkable about [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} . “ If [mother]_2916-mother wo n’t run risks — ”_[154-ralph] “ [You]_154-ralph really ca n’t expect [her]_2916-mother to sell out again . ”_[154-ralph] “ [She]_2916-mother ought to look upon it as an investment ; but if [she]_2916-mother wo n’t , [we]_3001-we must find some other way , that ’s all . ”_[156-joan] A threat was contained in this sentence , and [Joan]_156-joan knew , without asking , what the threat was . In the course of [his]_154-ralph professional life , which now extended over six or seven years , [Ralph]_154-ralph had saved , perhaps , three or four hundred pounds . Considering the sacrifices [he]_154-ralph had made in order to put by this sum it always amazed [Joan]_156-joan to find that [he]_154-ralph used it to gamble with , buying shares and selling them again , increasing it sometimes , sometimes diminishing it , and always running the risk of losing every penny of it in a day ’s disaster . But although [she]_156-joan wondered , [she]_156-joan could not help loving [him]_154-ralph the better for [his]_154-ralph odd combination of Spartan self - control and what appeared to [her]_156-joan romantic and childish folly . [Ralph]_154-ralph interested [her]_156-joan more than [any one else in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{592-any one else in the world} , and [she]_156-joan often broke off in the middle of one of these economic discussions , in spite of their gravity , to consider some fresh aspect of [his]_154-ralph character . “ [I]_156-joan think [you]_154-ralph ’d be foolish to risk [your]_154-ralph money on [poor old Charles]_157-charles , ”_[156-joan] [she]_156-joan observed . “ Fond as [I]_156-joan am of [him]_157-charles , [he]_157-charles does n’t seem to [me]_156-joan exactly brilliant .... Besides , why should [you]_154-ralph be sacrificed ? ”_[156-joan] “ [[My]_154-ralph dear]_{3002-my dear} [Joan]_156-joan , ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph exclaimed , stretching [himself]_154-ralph out with a gesture of impatience , “ do n’t [you]_156-joan see that [we]_3003-we ’ve all got to be sacrificed ? What ’s the use of denying it ? What ’s the use of struggling against it ? So it always has been , so it always will be . [We]_3003-we ’ve got no money and [we]_3003-we never shall have any money . [We]_3003-we shall just turn round in [the mill]_{3004-the mill} every day of [our]_3003-we lives until [we]_3003-we drop and die , worn out , as [most people]_{3005-most people} do , when one comes to think of it . ”_[154-ralph] [Joan]_156-joan looked at [him]_154-ralph , opened [her]_156-joan lips as if to speak , and closed them again . Then [she]_156-joan said , very tentatively : “ Are n’t [you]_154-ralph happy , [Ralph]_154-ralph ? ”_[156-joan] “ No . Are [you]_154-ralph ? Perhaps [I]_154-ralph ’m as happy as [most people]_{3005-most people} , though . God knows whether [I]_154-ralph ’m happy or not . What is happiness ? ”_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph glanced with half a smile , in spite of [his]_154-ralph gloomy irritation , at [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} . [She]_{578-his sister} looked , as usual , as if [she]_{578-his sister} were weighing one thing with another , and balancing them together before [she]_{578-his sister} made up [her]_{578-his sister} mind . “ Happiness , ”_{[578-his sister]} [she]_{578-his sister} remarked at length enigmatically , rather as if [she]_{578-his sister} were sampling the word , and then [she]_{578-his sister} paused . [She]_{578-his sister} paused for a considerable space , as if [she]_{578-his sister} were considering happiness in all its bearings . “ [Hilda]_160-hilda was here to - day , ”_{[578-his sister]} [she]_{578-his sister} suddenly resumed , as if [they]_595-they had never mentioned happiness . “ [She]_160-hilda brought [Bobbie]_161-bobbie — [he]_3007-he ’s [a fine boy]_{3008-a fine boy} now . ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph observed , with an amusement that had a tinge of irony in it , that [she]_{578-his sister} was now going to sidle away quickly from this dangerous approach to intimacy on to topics of general and family interest . Nevertheless , [he]_154-ralph reflected , [she]_{578-his sister} was [the only one of [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} with whom [he]_154-ralph found it possible to discuss happiness]_{596-the only one of his family with whom he found it possible to discuss happiness} , although [he]_154-ralph might very well have discussed happiness with [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} at [their]_595-they first meeting . [He]_154-ralph looked critically at [Joan]_156-joan , and wished that [she]_156-joan did not look so provincial or suburban in [her]_156-joan high green dress with the faded trimming , so patient , and almost resigned . [He]_154-ralph began to wish to tell [her]_156-joan about [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} in order to abuse [them]_598-them , for in the miniature battle which so often rages between two quickly following impressions of life , the life of [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} was getting the better of the life of [the Denhams]_{162-the denhams} in [his]_154-ralph mind , and [he]_154-ralph wanted to assure [himself]_154-ralph that there was some quality in which [Joan]_156-joan infinitely surpassed [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . [He]_154-ralph should have felt that [[his]_154-ralph own sister]_{599-his own sister} was more original , and had greater vitality than [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} had ; but [his]_154-ralph main impression of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} now was of [a person of great vitality and composure]_{600-a person of great vitality and composure} ; and at the moment [he]_154-ralph could not perceive what poor dear [Joan]_156-joan had gained from the fact that [she]_156-joan was [the granddaughter of [a man who kept [a shop]_{603-a shop} , and [herself]_156-joan earned [her]_156-joan own living]_{602-a man who kept a shop , and herself earned her own living}]_{601-the granddaughter of a man who kept a shop , and herself earned her own living} . The infinite dreariness and sordidness of [their]_604-their life oppressed [him]_154-ralph in spite of [his]_154-ralph fundamental belief that , as [a family]_{569-a family} , [they]_604-their were somehow remarkable . “ Shall [you]_154-ralph talk to [mother]_2916-mother ? ”_[156-joan] [Joan]_156-joan inquired . “ Because , [you]_154-ralph see , the thing ’s got to be settled , one way or another . [Charles]_157-charles must write to [Uncle John]_{158-uncle john} if [he]_157-charles ’s going [there]_2927-there . ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph sighed impatiently . “ [I]_154-ralph suppose it does n’t much matter either way , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph exclaimed . “ [He]_157-charles ’s doomed to misery in the long run . ”_[154-ralph] A slight flush came into [Joan]_156-joan ’s cheek . “ [You]_154-ralph know [you]_154-ralph ’re talking nonsense , ”_[156-joan] [she]_156-joan said . “ It does n’t hurt [any one]_{2939-any one} to have to earn [their]_{2939-any one} own living . [I]_156-joan ’m very glad [I]_156-joan have to earn mine . ”_[156-joan] [Ralph]_154-ralph was pleased that [she]_156-joan should feel this , and wished [her]_156-joan to continue , but [he]_154-ralph went on , perversely enough . “ Is n’t that only because [you]_156-joan ’ve forgotten how to enjoy [yourself]_156-joan ? [You]_156-joan never have time for anything decent — ”_[154-ralph] “ As for instance ? ”_[156-joan] “ Well , going for walks , or music , or books , or seeing [interesting people]_{3012-interesting people} . [You]_156-joan never do anything that ’s really worth doing any more than [I]_156-joan do . ”_[156-joan] “ [I]_156-joan always think [you]_154-ralph could make [this room]_{3013-this room} much nicer , if [you]_154-ralph liked , ”_[156-joan] [she]_156-joan observed . “ What does it matter what sort of room [I]_156-joan have when [I]_156-joan ’m forced to spend all the best years of [my]_156-joan life drawing up deeds in [an office]_{2994-an office} ? ”_[156-joan] “ [You]_154-ralph said two days ago that [you]_154-ralph found the law so interesting . ”_[156-joan] “ So it is if [one]_422-one could afford to know anything about it . ”_[156-joan] ( “ That ’s [Herbert]_163-gilbert only just going to bed now , ”_[156-joan] [Joan]_156-joan interposed , as a door on [the landing]_{571-the landing} slammed vigorously . “ And then [he]_163-gilbert wo n’t get up in the morning . ”_[156-joan] ) [Ralph]_154-ralph looked at the ceiling , and shut [his]_154-ralph lips closely together . Why , [he]_154-ralph wondered , could [Joan]_156-joan never for one moment detach [her]_156-joan mind from the details of domestic life ? It seemed to [him]_154-ralph that [she]_156-joan was getting more and more enmeshed in [them]_607-them , and capable of shorter and less frequent flights into [the outer world]_{608-the outer world} , and yet [she]_156-joan was only thirty - three . “ D’you ever pay calls now ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph asked abruptly . “ [I]_154-ralph do n’t often have the time . Why do [you]_156-joan ask ? ”_[154-ralph] “ It might be a good thing , to get to know [new people]_{3016-new people} , that ’s all . ”_[154-ralph] “ [Poor Ralph]_{164-poor ralph} ! ”_[156-joan] said [Joan]_156-joan suddenly , with a smile . “ [You]_154-ralph think [[your]_154-ralph sister]_{3017-your sister} ’s getting very old and very dull — that ’s it , is n’t it ? ”_[156-joan] “ [I]_154-ralph do n’t think anything of the kind , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph said stoutly , but [he]_154-ralph flushed . “ But [you]_156-joan lead a dog ’s life , [Joan]_156-joan . When [you]_156-joan ’re not working in [an office]_{2994-an office} , [you]_156-joan ’re worrying over the rest of [us]_3019-us . And [I]_154-ralph ’m not much good to [you]_156-joan , [I]_154-ralph ’m afraid . ”_[154-ralph] [Joan]_156-joan rose , and stood for a moment warming [her]_156-joan hands , and , apparently , meditating as to whether [she]_156-joan should say anything more or not . A feeling of great intimacy united [the brother]_{609-the brother} and [sister]_587-sister , and the semicircular lines above [their]_611-their eyebrows disappeared . No , there was nothing more to be said on either side . [Joan]_156-joan brushed [[her]_156-joan brother]_{581-her brother} ’s head with [her]_156-joan hand as [she]_156-joan passed [him]_{581-her brother} , murmured good night , and left [the room]_{379-the room} . For some minutes after [she]_156-joan had gone [Ralph]_154-ralph lay quiescent , resting [his]_154-ralph head on [his]_154-ralph hand , but gradually [his]_154-ralph eyes filled with thought , and the line reappeared on [his]_154-ralph brow , as the pleasant impression of companionship and ancient sympathy waned , and [he]_154-ralph was left to think on alone . After a time [he]_154-ralph opened [his]_154-ralph book , and read on steadily , glancing once or twice at [his]_154-ralph watch , as if [he]_154-ralph had set [himself]_154-ralph a task to be accomplished in a certain measure of time . Now and then [he]_154-ralph heard voices in [the house]_{377-the house} , and the closing of bedroom doors , which showed that [the building]_{615-the building} , at the top of which [he]_154-ralph sat , was inhabited in [every one of [its]_{615-the building} cells]_{616-every one of its cells} . When midnight struck , [Ralph]_154-ralph shut [his]_154-ralph book , and with a candle in [his]_154-ralph hand , descended to [the ground floor]_{617-the ground floor} , to ascertain that all lights were extinct and all doors locked . It was [a threadbare , well - worn house that [he]_154-ralph thus examined , as if [the inmates]_{619-the inmates} had grazed down all luxuriance and plenty to the verge of decency]_{618-a threadbare , well - worn house that he thus examined , as if the inmates had grazed down all luxuriance and plenty to the verge of decency} ; and in the night , bereft of life , bare places and ancient blemishes were unpleasantly visible . [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , [he]_154-ralph thought , would condemn it off - hand . [Denham]_154-ralph had accused [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} of belonging to [one of [the most distinguished families in [England]_5-england]_{2956-the most distinguished families in england}]_{2955-one of the most distinguished families in england} , and if [any one]_{2939-any one} will take the trouble to consult [Mr. Galton]_{165-mr. galton} ’s “ Hereditary Genius , ”_{[2939-any one]} [he]_{2939-any one} will find that this assertion is not far from the truth . [The Alardyces]_{166-the alardyces} , [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} , [the Millingtons]_{167-the millingtons} , and [the Otways]_{146-the otways} seem to prove that intellect is a possession which can be tossed from [one member of [a certain group]_{624-a certain group}]_{623-one member of a certain group} to another almost indefinitely , and with apparent certainty that the brilliant gift will be safely caught and held by [nine out of ten of the privileged race]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} . [They]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} had been [conspicuous judges]_{626-conspicuous judges} and [admirals]_627-admirals , lawyers and [servants of [the State]_{629-the state}]_{628-servants of the state} for some years before the richness of the soil culminated in the rarest flower that [any family]_{630-any family} can boast , [a great writer]_{631-a great writer} , [a poet eminent among [the poets of [England]_5-england]_{633-the poets of england}]_{632-a poet eminent among the poets of england} , a [Richard Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} ; and having produced [him]_{139-richard alardyce} , [they]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} proved once more the amazing virtues of [their]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} race by proceeding unconcernedly again with [their]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} usual task of breeding [distinguished men]_{634-distinguished men} . [They]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} had sailed with [Sir John Franklin]_{168-sir john franklin} to [the North Pole]_{11-the north pole} , and ridden with [Havelock]_143-havelock to the Relief of [Lucknow]_4-lucknow , and when [they]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} were not lighthouses firmly based on rock for the guidance of [[their]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} generation]_{635-their generation} , [they]_{625-nine out of ten of the privileged race} were steady , serviceable candles , illuminating the ordinary chambers of daily life . Whatever profession [you]_636-you looked at , there was [a Warburton]_{637-a warburton} or [an Alardyce]_{638-an alardyce} , [a Millington]_{639-a millington} or [a Hilbery somewhere in authority and prominence]_{640-a hilbery somewhere in authority and prominence} . It may be said , indeed , that English society being what [it]_641-it is , no very great merit is required , once [you]_636-you bear a well - known name , to put [you]_636-you into a position where it is easier on the whole to be eminent than obscure . And if this is true of [the sons]_{642-the sons} , even [the daughters]_{643-the daughters} , even in the nineteenth century , are apt to become [people of importance]_{644-people of importance} — [philanthropists]_{645-philanthropists} and [educationalists]_{646-educationalists} if [they]_647-they are [spinsters]_{648-spinsters} , and [the wives of [distinguished men]_{634-distinguished men}]_{649-the wives of distinguished men} if [they]_647-they marry . It is true that there were several lamentable exceptions to this rule in [the Alardyce group]_{651-the alardyce group} , which seems to indicate that [the cadets of [such houses]_{653-such houses}]_{652-the cadets of such houses} go more rapidly to the bad than [the children of [ordinary fathers]_{655-ordinary fathers} and [mothers]_656-mothers]_{654-the children of ordinary fathers and mothers} , as if it were somehow a relief to [them]_647-they . But , on the whole , in these first years of the twentieth century , [the Alardyces]_{166-the alardyces} and [[their]_{166-the alardyces} relations]_{657-their relations} were keeping [their]_{166-the alardyces} heads well above water . One finds [them]_{166-the alardyces} at the tops of professions , with letters after [their]_{166-the alardyces} names ; [they]_{166-the alardyces} sit in luxurious public offices , with [private secretaries]_{658-private secretaries} attached to [them]_{166-the alardyces} ; [they]_{166-the alardyces} write solid books in dark covers , issued by the presses of the two great universities , and when one of [them]_{166-the alardyces} dies the chances are that another of [them]_{166-the alardyces} writes [his]_659-his biography . Now the source of [this nobility]_{660-this nobility} was , of course , [the poet]_{661-the poet} , and [[his]_{661-the poet} immediate descendants]_{662-his immediate descendants} , therefore , were invested with greater luster than [the collateral branches]_{663-the collateral branches} . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , in virtue of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} position as [the only child of [the poet]_{661-the poet}]_{664-the only child of the poet} , was spiritually [the head of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{666-the head of the family} , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} , had some superior rank among all [the cousins]_{669-the cousins} and connections , the more so because [she]_{129-katharine} was [an only child]_{670-an only child} . [The Alardyces]_{166-the alardyces} had married and intermarried , and [[their]_{166-the alardyces} offspring]_{671-their offspring} were generally profuse , and had a way of meeting regularly in [each other ’s houses]_{672-each other ’s houses} for meals and family celebrations which had acquired a semi - sacred character , and were as regularly observed as days of feasting and fasting in [the Church]_{673-the church} . In times gone by , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had known [all the poets]_{674-all the poets} , [all the novelists]_{675-all the novelists} , [all the beautiful women and distinguished men of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} time]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} . These being now either dead or secluded in [their]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} infirm glory , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} made [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} house]_{677-her house} a meeting - place for [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} own relations]_{678-her own relations} , to whom [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would lament the passing of the great days of the nineteenth century , when [every department of letters and art]_{679-every department of letters and art} was represented in [England]_5-england by two or three illustrious names . Where are [[their]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} successors]_{680-their successors} ? [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would ask , and the absence of [any poet]_{681-any poet} or [painter]_682-painter or [novelist of the true caliber at the present day]_{683-novelist of the true caliber at the present day} was a text upon which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} liked to ruminate , in a sunset mood of benignant reminiscence , which it would have been hard to disturb had there been need . But [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was far from visiting [their]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} inferiority upon [the younger generation]_{476-the younger generation} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} welcomed [them]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} very heartily to [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} house]_{677-her house} , told [them]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stories , gave [them]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} sovereigns and ices and good advice , and weaved round [them]_{676-all the beautiful women and distinguished men of her time} romances which had generally no likeness to the truth . The quality of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} birth oozed into [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s consciousness from a dozen different sources as soon as [she]_{129-katharine} was able to perceive anything . Above [her]_{129-katharine} nursery fireplace hung a photograph of [[[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s tomb in [[Poets]_169-poets ’ Corner]_{688-poets ’ corner}]_{687-her grandfather ’s tomb in poets ’ corner} , and [she]_{129-katharine} was told in one of those moments of grown - up confidence which are so tremendously impressive to [the child]_{689-the child} ’s mind , that [he]_{446-her grandfather} was buried [there]_2927-there because [he]_{446-her grandfather} was [a “ good and great man]_{3020-a “ good and great man} . ”_{[380-her mother]} Later , on an anniversary , [she]_{129-katharine} was taken by [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} through the fog in [a hansom cab]_{692-a hansom cab} , and given a large bunch of bright , sweet - scented flowers to lay upon [[his]_{446-her grandfather} tomb]_{693-his tomb} . The candles in [the church]_{673-the church} , the singing and the booming of the organ , were all , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , in [his]_{446-her grandfather} honor . Again and again [she]_{129-katharine} was brought down into [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} to receive the blessing of [some awful distinguished old man]_{696-some awful distinguished old man} , who sat , even to [her]_{129-katharine} childish eye , somewhat apart , all gathered together and clutching a stick , unlike [an ordinary visitor in [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s own arm - chair]_{697-an ordinary visitor in her father ’s own arm - chair} , and [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} [himself]_{406-her father} was there , unlike [himself]_{406-her father} , too , a little excited and very polite . [These formidable old creatures]_{700-these formidable old creatures} used to take [her]_{129-katharine} in [their]_{700-these formidable old creatures} arms , look very keenly in [her]_{129-katharine} eyes , and then to bless [her]_{129-katharine} , and tell [her]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{129-katharine} must mind and be [a good girl]_{701-a good girl} , or detect a look in [her]_{129-katharine} face something like [Richard]_{139-richard alardyce} ’s as [a small boy]_{551-a small boy} . That drew down upon [her]_{129-katharine} [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s fervent embrace , and [she]_{129-katharine} was sent back to [the nursery]_{704-the nursery} very proud , and with a mysterious sense of an important and unexplained state of things , which time , by degrees , unveiled to [her]_{129-katharine} . There were always [visitors]_{2950-visitors} — [uncles]_706-uncles and [aunts]_707-aunts and [cousins]_708-cousins “ from [India]_12-india , ”_{[2950-visitors]} to be reverenced for [their]_{2950-visitors} relationship alone , and [others of the solitary and formidable class]_{709-others of the solitary and formidable class} , whom [she]_{129-katharine} was enjoined by [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} to “ remember all [your]_3021-your life . ”_{[2950-visitors]} By these means , and from hearing constant talk of [great men]_{2976-great men} and [their]_{2976-great men} works , [her]_{129-katharine} earliest conceptions of [the world]_{478-the world} included [an august circle of beings to whom [she]_{129-katharine} gave the names of [Shakespeare]_170-william , [Milton]_171-milton , [Wordsworth]_{172-wordsworth} , [Shelley]_173-shelley , and so on , who were , for some reason , much more nearly akin to [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} than to [other people]_{2964-other people}]_{713-an august circle of beings to whom she gave the names of shakespeare , milton , wordsworth , shelley , and so on , who were , for some reason , much more nearly akin to the hilberys than to other people} . [They]_{424-her parents} made a kind of boundary to [her]_{129-katharine} vision of life , and played a considerable part in determining [her]_{129-katharine} scale of good and bad in [her]_{129-katharine} own small affairs . [Her]_{129-katharine} descent from one of [these gods]_{715-these gods} was no surprise to [her]_{129-katharine} , but matter for satisfaction , until , as the years wore on , the privileges of [[her]_{129-katharine} lot]_{716-her lot} were taken for granted , and certain drawbacks made themselves very manifest . Perhaps it is a little depressing to inherit not lands but an example of intellectual and spiritual virtue ; perhaps the conclusiveness of [a great ancestor]_{717-a great ancestor} is a little discouraging to [those who run the risk of comparison]_{718-those who run the risk of comparison} with [him]_{717-a great ancestor} . It seems as if , having flowered so splendidly , nothing now remained possible but a steady growth of good , green stalk and leaf . For these reasons , and for others , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had [her]_{129-katharine} moments of despondency . The glorious past , in which [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women grew to unexampled size , intruded too much upon the present , and dwarfed it too consistently , to be altogether encouraging to one forced to make [her]_{129-katharine} experiment in living when the great age was dead . [She]_{129-katharine} was drawn to dwell upon these matters more than was natural , in the first place owing to [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s absorption in them , and in the second because a great part of [her]_{129-katharine} time was spent in imagination with [the dead]_{722-the dead} , since [she]_{129-katharine} was helping [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} to produce a life of [the great poet]_{444-the great poet} . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was seventeen or eighteen — that is to say , some ten years ago — [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had enthusiastically announced that now , with [a daughter]_{726-a daughter} to help [her]_{380-her mother} , the biography would soon be published . Notices to this effect found [their]_727-their way into the literary papers , and for some time [Katharine]_{129-katharine} worked with a sense of great pride and achievement . Lately , however , it had seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that [they]_728-they were making no way at all , and this was the more tantalizing because [no one with the ghost of a literary temperament]_{729-no one with the ghost of a literary temperament} could doubt but that [they]_728-they had materials for one of the greatest biographies that has ever been written . Shelves and boxes bulged with the precious stuff . The most private lives of [the most interesting people]_{730-the most interesting people} lay furled in yellow bundles of close - written manuscript . In addition to this [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} own head as bright a vision of that time as now remained to the living , and could give those flashes and thrills to the old words which gave [them]_728-they almost the substance of flesh . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had no difficulty in writing , and covered a page every morning as instinctively as a thrush sings , but nevertheless , with all this to urge and inspire , and the most devout intention to accomplish the work , the book still remained unwritten . Papers accumulated without much furthering [their]_728-they task , and in dull moments [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had [her]_{129-katharine} doubts whether [they]_728-they would ever produce anything at all fit to lay before [the public]_{731-the public} . Where did the difficulty lie ? Not in [their]_728-they materials , alas ! nor in [their]_728-they ambitions , but in something more profound , in [her]_{129-katharine} own inaptitude , and above all , in [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s temperament . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would calculate that [she]_{129-katharine} had never known [her]_{129-katharine} write for more than ten minutes at a time . Ideas came to [her]_{129-katharine} chiefly when [she]_{129-katharine} was in motion . [She]_{129-katharine} liked to perambulate [the room]_{379-the room} with a duster in [her]_{129-katharine} hand , with which [she]_{129-katharine} stopped to polish the backs of already lustrous books , musing and romancing as [she]_{129-katharine} did so . Suddenly the right phrase or the penetrating point of view would suggest itself , and [she]_{129-katharine} would drop [her]_{129-katharine} duster and write ecstatically for a few breathless moments ; and then the mood would pass away , and the duster would be sought for , and the old books polished again . These spells of inspiration never burnt steadily , but flickered over the gigantic mass of the subject as capriciously as a will - o’-the - wisp , lighting now on this point , now on that . It was as much as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could do to keep the pages of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s manuscript in order , but to sort them so that the sixteenth year of [Richard Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} ’s life succeeded the fifteenth was beyond [her]_{129-katharine} skill . And yet they were so brilliant , these paragraphs , so nobly phrased , so lightning - like in their illumination , that the dead seemed to crowd [the very room]_{735-the very room} . Read continuously , they produced a sort of vertigo , and set [her]_{129-katharine} asking [herself]_{129-katharine} in despair what on [earth]_736-earth [she]_{129-katharine} was to do with [them]_737-them ? [[Her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} refused , also , to face the radical questions of what to leave in and what to leave out . [She]_{129-katharine} could not decide how far [the public]_{731-the public} was to be told the truth about [the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s separation from [[his]_{661-the poet} wife]_{2946-his wife} . [She]_{129-katharine} drafted passages to suit either case , and then liked each so well that [she]_{129-katharine} could not decide upon the rejection of either . But the book must be written . It was a duty that [they]_742-they owed [the world]_{478-the world} , and to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , at least , it meant more than that , for if [they]_742-they could not between [them]_742-they get this one book accomplished [they]_742-they had no right to [their]_742-they privileged position . [Their]_742-they increment became yearly more and more unearned . Besides , it must be established indisputably that [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} was [a very great man]_{745-a very great man} . By the time [she]_{129-katharine} was twenty - seven , these thoughts had become very familiar to [her]_{129-katharine} . They trod their way through [her]_{129-katharine} mind as [she]_{129-katharine} sat opposite [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} of a morning at a table heaped with bundles of old letters and well supplied with pencils , scissors , bottles of gum , india - rubber bands , large envelopes , and other appliances for the manufacture of books . Shortly before [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ’s visit , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had resolved to try the effect of strict rules upon [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s habits of literary composition . [They]_742-they were to be seated at [their]_742-they tables every morning at ten o’clock , with a clean - swept morning of empty , secluded hours before [them]_742-they . [They]_742-they were to keep [their]_742-they eyes fast upon the paper , and nothing was to tempt [them]_742-they to speech , save at the stroke of the hour when ten minutes for relaxation were to be allowed [them]_742-they . If these rules were observed for a year , [she]_{129-katharine} made out on a sheet of paper that the completion of the book was certain , and [she]_{129-katharine} laid [her]_{129-katharine} scheme before [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} with a feeling that much of the task was already accomplished . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} examined the sheet of paper very carefully . Then [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} clapped [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} hands and exclaimed enthusiastically : “ Well done , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! What a wonderful head for business [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve got ! Now [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} shall keep this before [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and every day [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} shall make a little mark in [my]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pocketbook , and on the last day of all — let [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} think , what shall [we]_749-they do to celebrate the last day of all ? If it were n’t the winter [we]_749-they could take a jaunt to [Italy]_13-italy . [They]_749-they say [Switzerland]_{14-switzerland} ’s very lovely in the snow , except for the cold . But , as [you]_{129-katharine} say , the great thing is to finish the book . Now let [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} see — ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} When [they]_749-they inspected [her]_{129-katharine} manuscripts , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had put in order , [they]_749-they found a state of things well calculated to dash [their]_749-they spirits , if [they]_749-they had not just resolved on reform . [They]_749-they found , to begin with , a great variety of very imposing paragraphs with which the biography was to open ; many of these , it is true , were unfinished , and resembled triumphal arches standing upon one leg , but , as [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} observed , they could be patched up in ten minutes , if [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} gave [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind to it . Next , there was an account of [the ancient home of [the Alardyces]_{166-the alardyces}]_{750-the ancient home of the alardyces} , or rather , of spring in [Suffolk]_15-suffolk , which was very beautifully written , although not essential to the story . However , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had put together a string of names and dates , so that [the poet]_{661-the poet} was capably brought into [the world]_{478-the world} , and [his]_{661-the poet} ninth year was reached without further mishap . After that , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} wished , for sentimental reasons , to introduce the recollections of [a very fluent old lady , who had been brought up in [the same village]_{754-the same village}]_{753-a very fluent old lady , who had been brought up in the same village} , but these [Katharine]_{129-katharine} decided must go . It might be advisable to introduce here a sketch of contemporary poetry contributed by [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , and thus terse and learned and altogether out of keeping with the rest , but [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was of opinion that it was too bare , and made [one]_422-one feel altogether like [a good little girl in [a lecture - room]_{757-a lecture - room} , which was not at all in keeping with [[her]_{753-a very fluent old lady , who had been brought up in the same village} father]_{406-her father}]_{756-a good little girl in a lecture - room , which was not at all in keeping with her father} . It was put on one side . Now came the period of [his]_{661-the poet} early manhood , when various affairs of the heart must either be concealed or revealed ; here again [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was of two minds , and a thick packet of manuscript was shelved for further consideration . Several years were now altogether omitted , because [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had found something distasteful to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} in that period , and had preferred to dwell upon [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} own recollections as [a child]_{541-a child} . After this , it seemed to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that the book became a wild dance of will - o’-the - wisps , without form or continuity , without coherence even , or any attempt to make a narrative . Here were twenty pages upon [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s taste in hats , an essay upon contemporary china , a long account of a summer day ’s expedition into [the country]_{761-the country} , when [they]_762-they had missed [their]_762-they train , together with fragmentary visions of all sorts of [famous men]_{763-famous men} and [women , which seemed to be partly imaginary and partly authentic]_{764-women , which seemed to be partly imaginary and partly authentic} . There were , moreover , thousands of letters , and a mass of faithful recollections contributed by [old friends]_{2982-old friends} , which had grown yellow now in [their]_{2982-old friends} envelopes , but must be placed somewhere , or [their]_{2982-old friends} feelings would be hurt . So many volumes had been written about [the poet]_{661-the poet} since [his]_{661-the poet} death that [she]_{129-katharine} had also to dispose of a great number of misstatements , which involved minute researches and much correspondence . Sometimes [Katharine]_{129-katharine} brooded , half crushed , among [her]_{129-katharine} papers ; sometimes [she]_{129-katharine} felt that it was necessary for [her]_{129-katharine} very existence that [she]_{129-katharine} should free [herself]_{129-katharine} from the past ; at others , that the past had completely displaced the present , which , when [one]_422-one resumed life after a morning among the dead , proved to be of an utterly thin and inferior composition . The worst of it was that [she]_{129-katharine} had no aptitude for literature . [She]_{129-katharine} did not like phrases . [She]_{129-katharine} had even some natural antipathy to that process of self - examination , that perpetual effort to understand [one]_422-one ’s own feeling , and express it beautifully , fitly , or energetically in language , which constituted so great a part of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s existence . [She]_{129-katharine} was , on the contrary , inclined to be silent ; [she]_{129-katharine} shrank from expressing [herself]_{129-katharine} even in talk , let alone in writing . As this disposition was highly convenient in a family much given to the manufacture of phrases , and seemed to argue a corresponding capacity for action , [she]_{129-katharine} was , from [her]_{129-katharine} childhood even , put in charge of household affairs . [She]_{129-katharine} had the reputation , which nothing in [her]_{129-katharine} manner contradicted , of being the most practical of [people]_383-people . Ordering meals , directing [servants]_771-servants , paying bills , and so contriving that every clock ticked more or less accurately in time , and a number of vases were always full of fresh flowers was supposed to be a natural endowment of [hers]_{129-katharine} , and , indeed , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} often observed that it was poetry the wrong side out . From a very early age , too , [she]_{129-katharine} had to exert [herself]_{129-katharine} in another capacity ; [she]_{129-katharine} had to counsel and help and generally sustain [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would have been perfectly well able to sustain [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} if [the world]_{478-the world} had been what [the world]_{478-the world} is not . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was beautifully adapted for life in [another planet]_{775-another planet} . But the natural genius [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had for conducting affairs there was of no real use to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} here . [Her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} watch , for example , was a constant source of surprise to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and at the age of sixty - five [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was still amazed at the ascendancy which rules and reasons exerted over the lives of [other people]_{2964-other people} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had never learnt [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} lesson , and had constantly to be punished for [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ignorance . But as that ignorance was combined with a fine natural insight which saw deep whenever it saw at all , it was not possible to write [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} off among [the dunces]_{777-the dunces} ; on the contrary , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had a way of seeming [the wisest person in [the room]_{379-the room}]_{778-the wisest person in the room} . But , on the whole , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} found it very necessary to seek support in [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , thus , was a member of a very great profession which has , as yet , no title and very little recognition , although the labor of [mill and factory]_{781-mill and factory} is , perhaps , no more severe and the results of less benefit to [the world]_{478-the world} . [She]_{129-katharine} lived at [home]_2992-home . [She]_{129-katharine} did it very well , too . [Any one coming to [the house in [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk}]_{785-the house in cheyne walk}]_{784-any one coming to the house in cheyne walk} felt that here was [an orderly place]_{786-an orderly place} , shapely , controlled — a place where life had been trained to show to the best advantage , and , though composed of different elements , made to appear harmonious and with a character of its own . Perhaps it was the chief triumph of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s art that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s character predominated . [She]_{129-katharine} and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} appeared to be a rich background for [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s more striking qualities . Silence being , thus , both natural to [her]_{129-katharine} and imposed upon [her]_{129-katharine} , the only other remark that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother ’s friends]_{788-her mother ’s friends} were in the habit of making about it was that it was neither a stupid silence nor an indifferent silence . But to what quality it owed its character , since character of some sort it had , [no one]_{2921-no one} troubled [themselves]_{788-her mother ’s friends} to inquire . It was understood that [she]_{129-katharine} was helping [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} to produce a great book . [She]_{129-katharine} was known to manage [the household]_{791-the household} . [She]_{129-katharine} was certainly beautiful . That accounted for [her]_{129-katharine} satisfactorily . But it would have been a surprise , not only to [other people]_{2964-other people} but to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} , if some magic watch could have taken count of the moments spent in an entirely different occupation from [her]_{129-katharine} ostensible one . Sitting with faded papers before [her]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{129-katharine} took part in a series of scenes such as the taming of wild ponies upon [the American prairies]_{793-the american prairies} , or the conduct of [a vast ship]_{794-a vast ship} in a hurricane round [a black promontory of rock]_{795-a black promontory of rock} , or in others more peaceful , but marked by [her]_{129-katharine} complete emancipation from [her]_{129-katharine} present surroundings and , needless to say , by [her]_{129-katharine} surpassing ability in [her]_{129-katharine} new vocation . When [she]_{129-katharine} was rid of the pretense of paper and pen , phrase - making and biography , [she]_{129-katharine} turned [her]_{129-katharine} attention in a more legitimate direction , though , strangely enough , [she]_{129-katharine} would rather have confessed [her]_{129-katharine} wildest dreams of hurricane and [prairie]_796-prairie than the fact that , [upstairs]_523-upstairs , alone in [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} , [she]_{129-katharine} rose early in the morning or sat up late at night to ... work at mathematics . No force on [earth]_736-earth would have made [her]_{129-katharine} confess that . [Her]_{129-katharine} actions when thus engaged were furtive and secretive , like those of some nocturnal animal . Steps had only to sound on the staircase , and [she]_{129-katharine} slipped [her]_{129-katharine} paper between the leaves of a great Greek dictionary which [she]_{129-katharine} had purloined from [[[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s room]_{801-her father ’s room} for this purpose . It was only at night , indeed , that [she]_{129-katharine} felt secure enough from surprise to concentrate [her]_{129-katharine} mind to the utmost . Perhaps the unwomanly nature of the science made [her]_{129-katharine} instinctively wish to conceal [her]_{129-katharine} love of it . But the more profound reason was that in [her]_{129-katharine} mind mathematics were directly opposed to literature . [She]_{129-katharine} would not have cared to confess how infinitely [she]_{129-katharine} preferred the exactitude , the star - like impersonality , of figures to the confusion , agitation , and vagueness of the finest prose . There was something a little unseemly in thus opposing the tradition of [[her]_{129-katharine} family]_{463-her family} ; something that made [her]_{129-katharine} feel wrong - headed , and thus more than ever disposed to shut [her]_{129-katharine} desires away from view and cherish them with extraordinary fondness . Again and again [she]_{129-katharine} was thinking of some problem when [she]_{129-katharine} should have been thinking of [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} . Waking from these trances , [she]_{129-katharine} would see that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , too , had lapsed into some dream almost as visionary as [her]_{129-katharine} own , for [the people who played [their]_{805-the people who played their parts in it had long been numbered among the dead} parts in it had long been numbered among the dead]_{805-the people who played their parts in it had long been numbered among the dead} . But , seeing [her]_{129-katharine} own state mirrored in [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s face , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would shake [herself]_{129-katharine} awake with a sense of irritation . [[Her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} was [the last person [she]_{129-katharine} wished to resemble]_{808-the last person she wished to resemble} , much though [she]_{129-katharine} admired [her]_{380-her mother} . [Her]_{129-katharine} common sense would assert itself almost brutally , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , looking at [her]_{129-katharine} with [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} odd sidelong glance , that was half malicious and half tender , would liken [her]_{129-katharine} to “ [[your]_{129-katharine} wicked old Uncle Judge Peter , who used to be heard delivering sentence of death in [the bathroom]_{561-the bathroom}]_{174-your wicked old uncle judge peter , who used to be heard delivering sentence of death in the bathroom} . Thank Heaven , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’ve not a drop of [him]_{174-your wicked old uncle judge peter , who used to be heard delivering sentence of death in the bathroom} in [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} At about nine o’clock at night , on every alternate Wednesday , [Miss Mary Datchet]_175-mary made the same resolve , that [she]_175-mary would never again lend [[her]_175-mary rooms]_{809-her rooms} for any purposes whatsoever . Being , as [they]_{809-her rooms} were , rather large and conveniently situated in [a street mostly dedicated to offices off [the Strand]_{811-the strand}]_{810-a street mostly dedicated to offices off the strand} , [people who wished to meet , either for purposes of enjoyment , or to discuss art , or to reform the State]_{812-people who wished to meet , either for purposes of enjoyment , or to discuss art , or to reform the state} , had a way of suggesting that [Mary]_175-mary had better be asked to lend [them]_{812-people who wished to meet , either for purposes of enjoyment , or to discuss art , or to reform the state} [[her]_175-mary rooms]_{809-her rooms} . [She]_175-mary always met the request with the same frown of well - simulated annoyance , which presently dissolved in a kind of half - humorous , half - surly shrug , as of a large dog tormented by [children who shakes [his]_{814-children who shakes his ears} ears]_{814-children who shakes his ears} . [She]_175-mary would lend [[her]_175-mary room]_{798-her room} , but only on condition that all the arrangements were made by [her]_175-mary . This fortnightly meeting of [a society]_{816-a society} for the free discussion of everything entailed a great deal of moving , and pulling , and ranging of furniture against the wall , and placing of breakable and precious things in [safe places]_{817-safe places} . [Miss Datchet]_175-mary was quite capable of lifting a kitchen table on [her]_175-mary back , if need were , for although well - proportioned and dressed becomingly , [she]_175-mary had the appearance of unusual strength and determination . [She]_175-mary was some twenty - five years of age , but looked older because [she]_175-mary earned , or intended to earn , [her]_175-mary own living , and had already lost the look of [the irresponsible spectator]_{818-the irresponsible spectator} , and taken on that of [the private in the army of workers]_{819-the private in the army of workers} . [Her]_175-mary gestures seemed to have a certain purpose , the muscles round eyes and lips were set rather firmly , as though the senses had undergone some discipline , and were held ready for a call on them . [She]_175-mary had contracted two faint lines between [her]_175-mary eyebrows , not from anxiety but from thought , and it was quite evident that all the feminine instincts of pleasing , soothing , and charming were crossed by others in no way peculiar to [her]_175-mary sex . For the rest [she]_175-mary was brown - eyed , a little clumsy in movement , and suggested country birth and a descent from [respectable hard - working ancestors]_{820-respectable hard - working ancestors} , who had been [men of faith and integrity]_{821-men of faith and integrity} rather than [doubters or fanatics]_{822-doubters or fanatics} . At the end of a fairly hard day ’s work it was certainly something of an effort to clear [one ’s room]_{823-one ’s room} , to pull the mattress off one ’s bed , and lay it on the floor , to fill a pitcher with cold coffee , and to sweep a long table clear for plates and cups and saucers , with pyramids of little pink biscuits between them ; but when these alterations were effected , [Mary]_175-mary felt a lightness of spirit come to [her]_175-mary , as if [she]_175-mary had put off the stout stuff of [her]_175-mary working hours and slipped over [her]_175-mary entire being some vesture of thin , bright silk . [She]_175-mary knelt before the fire and looked out into [the room]_{379-the room} . The light fell softly , but with clear radiance , through shades of yellow and blue paper , and [the room]_{379-the room} , which was set with one or two sofas resembling grassy mounds in [their]_826-their lack of shape , looked unusually large and quiet . [Mary]_175-mary was led to think of the heights of [a Sussex]_{17-a sussex} down , and the swelling green circle of [some camp of [ancient warriors]_{828-ancient warriors}]_{827-some camp of ancient warriors} . The moonlight would be falling there so peacefully now , and [she]_175-mary could fancy the rough pathway of silver upon the wrinkled skin of [the sea]_{829-the sea} . “ And here [we]_3023-we are , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said , half aloud , half satirically , yet with evident pride , “ talking about art . ”_[175-mary] [She]_175-mary pulled a basket containing balls of differently colored wools and a pair of stockings which needed darning towards [her]_175-mary , and began to set [her]_175-mary fingers to work ; while [her]_175-mary mind , reflecting the lassitude of [her]_175-mary body , went on perversely , conjuring up visions of solitude and quiet , and [she]_175-mary pictured [herself]_175-mary laying aside [her]_175-mary knitting and walking out on to the down , and hearing nothing but the sheep cropping the grass close to the roots , while the shadows of the little trees moved very slightly this way and that in the moonlight , as the breeze went through them . But [she]_175-mary was perfectly conscious of [her]_175-mary present situation , and derived some pleasure from the reflection that [she]_175-mary could rejoice equally in solitude , and in the presence of [the many very different people who were now making [their]_{830-the many very different people who were now making their way , by divers paths , across london} way , by [divers paths]_{831-divers paths} , across [London]_2-london]_{830-the many very different people who were now making their way , by divers paths , across london} to [the spot where [she]_175-mary was sitting]_{832-the spot where she was sitting} . As [she]_175-mary ran [her]_175-mary needle in and out of the wool , [she]_175-mary thought of the various stages in [her]_175-mary own life which made [her]_175-mary present position seem the culmination of successive miracles . [She]_175-mary thought of [[her]_175-mary clerical father]_{833-her clerical father} in [[his]_{833-her clerical father} country parsonage]_{834-his country parsonage} , and of [[her]_175-mary mother]_{380-her mother} ’s death , and of [her]_175-mary own determination to obtain education , and of [her]_175-mary college life , which had merged , not so very long ago , in [the wonderful maze of [London]_2-london]_{836-the wonderful maze of london} , which still seemed to [her]_175-mary , in spite of [her]_175-mary constitutional level - headedness , like a vast electric light , casting radiance upon the myriads of [men]_719-men and women who crowded round it . And [here]_2985-here [she]_175-mary was at the very center of it all , that center which was constantly in the minds of people in [remote Canadian forests]_{839-remote canadian forests} and on [the plains of [India]_12-india]_{840-the plains of india} , when [their]_841-their thoughts turned to [England]_5-england . The nine mellow strokes , by which [she]_175-mary was now apprised of the hour , were a message from the great clock at [Westminster]_{18-westminster} [itself]_{18-westminster} . As the last of [them]_842-them died away , there was a firm knocking on [her]_175-mary own door , and [she]_175-mary rose and opened it . [She]_175-mary returned to [the room]_{379-the room} , with a look of steady pleasure in [her]_175-mary eyes , and [she]_175-mary was talking to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , who followed [her]_175-mary . “ Alone ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph said , as if [he]_154-ralph were pleasantly surprised by that fact . “ [I]_175-mary am sometimes alone , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary replied . “ But [you]_175-mary expect [a great many people]_{3024-a great many people} , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph added , looking round [him]_154-ralph . “ It ’s like [a room on the stage]_{3025-a room on the stage} . Who is it to - night ? ”_[154-ralph] “ [William Rodney]_176-rodney , upon the Elizabethan use of metaphor . [I]_154-ralph expect a good solid paper , with plenty of quotations from the classics . ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph warmed [his]_154-ralph hands at the fire , which was flapping bravely in the grate , while [Mary]_175-mary took up [her]_175-mary stocking again . “ [I]_154-ralph suppose [you]_175-mary are [the only woman in [London]_2-london]_{3026-the only woman in london} who darns [her]_175-mary own stockings , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph observed . “ [I]_175-mary ’m only one of a great many thousands really , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary replied , “ though [I]_175-mary must admit that [I]_175-mary was thinking [myself]_175-mary very remarkable when [you]_154-ralph came in . And now that [you]_154-ralph ’re here [I]_175-mary do n’t think [myself]_175-mary remarkable at all . How horrid of [you]_154-ralph ! But [I]_175-mary ’m afraid [you]_154-ralph ’re much more remarkable than [I]_175-mary am . [You]_154-ralph ’ve done much more than [I]_175-mary ’ve done . ”_[175-mary] “ If that ’s [your]_175-mary standard , [you]_175-mary ’ve nothing to be proud of , ”_[154-ralph] said [Ralph]_154-ralph grimly . “ Well , [I]_175-mary must reflect with [Emerson]_177-emerson that it ’s being and not doing that matters , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary continued . “ [Emerson]_177-emerson ? ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph exclaimed , with derision . “ [You]_175-mary do n’t mean to say [you]_175-mary read [Emerson]_177-emerson ? ”_[154-ralph] “ Perhaps it was n’t [Emerson]_177-emerson ; but why should n’t [I]_175-mary read [Emerson]_177-emerson ? ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary asked , with a tinge of anxiety . “ There ’s no reason that [I]_175-mary know of . It ’s the combination that ’s odd — books and stockings . The combination is very odd . ”_[175-mary] But it seemed to recommend itself to [him]_154-ralph . [Mary]_175-mary gave a little laugh , expressive of happiness , and the particular stitches that [she]_175-mary was now putting into [her]_175-mary work appeared to [her]_175-mary to be done with singular grace and felicity . [She]_175-mary held out the stocking and looked at it approvingly . “ [You]_154-ralph always say that , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said . “ [I]_175-mary assure [you]_154-ralph it ’s a common ‘ combination , ’ as [you]_154-ralph call it , in [the houses of [the clergy]_{3028-the clergy}]_{3027-the houses of the clergy} . The only thing that ’s odd about [me]_175-mary is that [I]_175-mary enjoy [them]_3029-them both — [Emerson]_177-emerson and the stocking . ”_[175-mary] A knock was heard , and [Ralph]_154-ralph exclaimed : “ Damn [those people]_{3030-those people} ! [I]_154-ralph wish [they]_{3030-those people} were n’t coming ! ”_[154-ralph] “ It ’s only [Mr. Turner]_{178-mr. turner} , on the floor below , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary , and [she]_175-mary felt grateful to [Mr. Turner]_{178-mr. turner} for having alarmed [Ralph]_154-ralph , and for having given a false alarm . “ Will there be [a crowd]_{3031-a crowd} ? ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph asked , after a pause . “ There ’ll be [the Morrises]_{179-the morrises} and [the Crashaws]_{180-the crashaws} , and [Dick Osborne]_{181-dick osborne} , and [Septimus]_182-septimus , and all that set . [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} is coming , by the way , so [William Rodney]_176-rodney told [me]_154-ralph . ”_[154-ralph] “ [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ! ”_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph exclaimed . “ [You]_154-ralph know [her]_{129-katharine} ? ”_[154-ralph] [Mary]_175-mary asked , with some surprise . “ [I]_175-mary went to a tea - party at [[her]_{129-katharine} house]_{677-her house} . ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary pressed [him]_154-ralph to tell [her]_175-mary all about it , and [Ralph]_154-ralph was not at all unwilling to exhibit proofs of the extent of [his]_154-ralph knowledge . [He]_154-ralph described the scene with certain additions and exaggerations which interested [Mary]_175-mary very much . “ But , in spite of what [you]_154-ralph say , [I]_175-mary do admire [her]_{129-katharine} , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said . “ [I]_175-mary ’ve only seen [her]_{129-katharine} once or twice , but [she]_{129-katharine} seems to [me]_175-mary to be what [one]_422-one calls a ‘ personality . ’ ”_[175-mary] “ [I]_154-ralph did n’t mean to abuse [her]_{129-katharine} . [I]_154-ralph only felt that [she]_{129-katharine} was n’t very sympathetic to [me]_154-ralph . ”_[154-ralph] “ [They]_3034-they say [she]_{129-katharine} ’s going to marry [that queer creature [Rodney]_176-rodney]_{3035-that queer creature rodney} . ”_[175-mary] “ Marry [Rodney]_176-rodney ? Then [she]_{129-katharine} must be more deluded than [I]_175-mary thought [her]_{129-katharine} . ”_[175-mary] “ Now that ’s [my]_175-mary door , all right , ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed , carefully putting [her]_175-mary wools away , as a succession of knocks reverberated unnecessarily , accompanied by a sound of [people]_383-people stamping [their]_383-people feet and laughing . A moment later [the room]_{379-the room} was full of [young men]_{846-young men} and [women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} , exclaimed “ Oh ! ”_{[847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation]} when [they]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} saw [Denham]_154-ralph , and then stood still , gaping rather foolishly . [The room]_{379-the room} very soon contained between twenty and thirty people , who found seats for the most part upon the floor , occupying the mattresses , and hunching [themselves]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} together into triangular shapes . [They]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} were all young and [some of [them]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation}]_{849-some of them} seemed to make a protest by [their]_{849-some of them} hair and dress , and something somber and truculent in the expression of [their]_{849-some of them} faces , against [the more normal type , who would have passed unnoticed in an omnibus]_{850-the more normal type , who would have passed unnoticed in an omnibus} or [an underground railway]_{851-an underground railway} . It was notable that the talk was confined to [groups]_852-groups , and was , at first , entirely spasmodic in character , and muttered in undertones as if [the speakers]_{853-the speakers} were suspicious of [[their]_{853-the speakers} fellow - guests]_{854-their fellow - guests} . [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} came in rather late , and took up a position on the floor , with [her]_{129-katharine} back against the wall . [She]_{129-katharine} looked round quickly , recognized about [half a dozen people]_{855-half a dozen people} , to whom [she]_{129-katharine} nodded , but failed to see [Ralph]_154-ralph , or , if so , had already forgotten to attach any name to [him]_154-ralph . But in a second these heterogeneous elements were all united by the voice of [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} , who suddenly strode up to the table , and began very rapidly in high - strained tones : “ In undertaking to speak of the Elizabethan use of metaphor in poetry — ”_{[183-mr. rodney]} All the different heads swung slightly or steadied [themselves]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} into a position in which [they]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} could gaze straight at [the speaker]_{856-the speaker} ’s face , and the same rather solemn expression was visible on all of [them]_{847-women , who came in with a peculiar look of expectation} . But , at the same time , even the faces that were most exposed to view , and therefore most tautly under control , disclosed a sudden impulsive tremor which , unless directly checked , would have developed into an outburst of laughter . The first sight of [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} was irresistibly ludicrous . [He]_{183-mr. rodney} was very red in the face , whether from the cool November night or nervousness , and every movement , from the way [he]_{183-mr. rodney} wrung [his]_{183-mr. rodney} hands to the way [he]_{183-mr. rodney} jerked [his]_{183-mr. rodney} head to right and left , as though a vision drew [him]_{183-mr. rodney} now to the door , now to the window , bespoke [his]_{183-mr. rodney} horrible discomfort under the stare of so many eyes . [He]_{183-mr. rodney} was scrupulously well dressed , and a pearl in the center of [his]_{183-mr. rodney} tie seemed to give [him]_{183-mr. rodney} a touch of aristocratic opulence . But the rather prominent eyes and the impulsive stammering manner , which seemed to indicate a torrent of ideas intermittently pressing for utterance and always checked in their course by a clutch of nervousness , drew no pity , as in the case of [a more imposing personage]_{857-a more imposing personage} , but a desire to laugh , which was , however , entirely lacking in malice . [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} was evidently so painfully conscious of the oddity of [his]_{183-mr. rodney} appearance , and [his]_{183-mr. rodney} very redness and the starts to which [his]_{183-mr. rodney} body was liable gave such proof of [his]_{183-mr. rodney} own discomfort , that there was something endearing in this ridiculous susceptibility , although [most people]_{3005-most people} would probably have echoed [Denham]_154-ralph ’s private exclamation , “ Fancy marrying a creature like that ! ”_[154-ralph] [His]_{183-mr. rodney} paper was carefully written out , but in spite of this precaution [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} managed to turn over two sheets instead of one , to choose the wrong sentence where two were written together , and to discover [his]_{183-mr. rodney} own handwriting suddenly illegible . When [he]_{183-mr. rodney} found [himself]_{183-mr. rodney} possessed of a coherent passage , [he]_{183-mr. rodney} shook it at [[his]_{183-mr. rodney} audience]_{859-his audience} almost aggressively , and then fumbled for another . After a distressing search a fresh discovery would be made , and produced in the same way , until , by means of repeated attacks , [he]_{183-mr. rodney} had stirred [[his]_{183-mr. rodney} audience]_{859-his audience} to a degree of animation quite remarkable in these gatherings . Whether [they]_{859-his audience} were stirred by [his]_{183-mr. rodney} enthusiasm for poetry or by the contortions which [a human being]_{861-a human being} was going through for [their]_{859-his audience} benefit , it would be hard to say . At length [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} sat down impulsively in the middle of a sentence , and , after a pause of bewilderment , [the audience]_{862-the audience} expressed [its]_{862-the audience} relief at being able to laugh aloud in a decided outburst of applause . [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} acknowledged this with a wild glance round [him]_{183-mr. rodney} , and , instead of waiting to answer questions , [he]_{183-mr. rodney} jumped up , thrust [himself]_{183-mr. rodney} through [the seated bodies]_{863-the seated bodies} into the corner where [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was sitting , and exclaimed , very audibly : “ Well , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_{183-mr. rodney} hope [I]_{183-mr. rodney} ’ve made [a big enough fool]_{3036-a big enough fool} of [myself]_{183-mr. rodney} even for [you]_{129-katharine} ! It was terrible ! terrible ! terrible ! ”_{[183-mr. rodney]} “ Hush ! [You]_{183-mr. rodney} must answer [their]_{863-the seated bodies} questions , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} whispered , desiring , at all costs , to keep [him]_{183-mr. rodney} quiet . Oddly enough , when [the speaker]_{856-the speaker} was no longer in front of [them]_{863-the seated bodies} , there seemed to be much that was suggestive in what [he]_{856-the speaker} had said . At any rate , [a pale - faced young man with sad eyes]_{865-a pale - faced young man with sad eyes} was already on [his]_{865-a pale - faced young man with sad eyes} feet , delivering an accurately worded speech with perfect composure . [William Rodney]_176-rodney listened with a curious lifting of [his]_{183-mr. rodney} upper lip , although [his]_{183-mr. rodney} face was still quivering slightly with emotion . “ [Idiot]_3037-idiot ! ”_{[183-mr. rodney]} [he]_{183-mr. rodney} whispered . “ [He]_{865-a pale - faced young man with sad eyes} ’s misunderstood every word [I]_{183-mr. rodney} said ! ”_{[183-mr. rodney]} “ Well then , answer [him]_{865-a pale - faced young man with sad eyes} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} whispered back . “ No , [I]_{183-mr. rodney} sha n’t ! [They]_{863-the seated bodies} ’d only laugh at [me]_{183-mr. rodney} . Why did [I]_{183-mr. rodney} let [you]_{129-katharine} persuade [me]_{183-mr. rodney} that [these sort of people]_{3038-these sort of people} care for literature ? ”_{[183-mr. rodney]} [he]_{183-mr. rodney} continued . There was much to be said both for and against [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} ’s paper . It had been crammed with assertions that such - and - such passages , taken liberally from English , French , and Italian , are the supreme pearls of literature . Further , [he]_{183-mr. rodney} was fond of using metaphors which , compounded in the study , were apt to sound either cramped or out of place as [he]_{183-mr. rodney} delivered them in fragments . Literature was a fresh garland of spring flowers , [he]_{183-mr. rodney} said , in which yew - berries and the purple nightshade mingled with the various tints of the anemone ; and somehow or other this garland encircled marble brows . [He]_{183-mr. rodney} had read very badly some very beautiful quotations . But through [his]_{183-mr. rodney} manner and [his]_{183-mr. rodney} confusion of language there had emerged some passion of feeling which , as [he]_{183-mr. rodney} spoke , formed in [the majority of [the audience]_{862-the audience}]_{866-the majority of the audience} a little picture or an idea which each now was eager to give expression to . [Most of [the people there]_{869-the people there}]_{868-most of the people there} proposed to spend [their]_{868-most of the people there} lives in the practice either of writing or painting , and merely by looking at [them]_{868-most of the people there} it could be seen that , as [they]_{868-most of the people there} listened to [Mr. Purvis]_{184-mr. purvis} first , and then to [Mr. Greenhalgh]_{185-mr. greenhalgh} , [they]_{868-most of the people there} were seeing something done by [these gentlemen]_{870-these gentlemen} to a possession which [they]_{868-most of the people there} thought to be [their]_{868-most of the people there} own . [One person]_{871-one person} after another rose , and , as with an ill - balanced axe , attempted to hew out [his]_{183-mr. rodney} conception of art a little more clearly , and sat down with the feeling that , for some reason which [he]_{183-mr. rodney} could not grasp , [his]_{183-mr. rodney} strokes had gone awry . As [they]_{868-most of the people there} sat down [they]_{868-most of the people there} turned almost invariably to [the person sitting next them]_{872-the person sitting next them} , and rectified and continued what [they]_{868-most of the people there} had just said in public . Before long , therefore , [the groups on the mattresses]_{873-the groups on the mattresses} and [the groups on the chairs]_{874-the groups on the chairs} were all in communication with each other , and [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , who had begun to darn stockings again , stooped down and remarked to [Ralph]_154-ralph : “ That was what [I]_175-mary call a first - rate paper . ”_[175-mary] [Both of [them]_{875-both of them}]_{875-both of them} instinctively turned [their]_{875-both of them} eyes in the direction of [the reader of the paper]_{876-the reader of the paper} . [He]_154-ralph was lying back against the wall , with [his]_154-ralph eyes apparently shut , and [his]_154-ralph chin sunk upon [his]_154-ralph collar . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was turning over the pages of [his]_154-ralph manuscript as if [she]_{129-katharine} were looking for some passage that had particularly struck [her]_{129-katharine} , and had a difficulty in finding it . “ Let ’s go and tell [him]_154-ralph how much [we]_3039-we liked it , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary , thus suggesting an action which [Ralph]_154-ralph was anxious to take , though without [her]_175-mary [he]_154-ralph would have been too proud to do it , for [he]_154-ralph suspected that [he]_154-ralph had more interest in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} than [she]_{129-katharine} had in [him]_154-ralph . “ That was a very interesting paper , ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary began , without any shyness , seating [herself]_175-mary on the floor opposite to [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “ Will [you]_176-rodney lend [me]_175-mary the manuscript to read in peace ? ”_[175-mary] [Rodney]_176-rodney , who had opened [his]_176-rodney eyes on [their]_877-we approach , regarded [her]_{129-katharine} for a moment in suspicious silence . “ Do [you]_{129-katharine} say that merely to disguise the fact of [my]_176-rodney ridiculous failure ? ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney asked . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked up from [her]_{129-katharine} reading with a smile . “ [He]_176-rodney says [he]_176-rodney does n’t mind what [we]_877-we think of [him]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} remarked . “ [He]_176-rodney says [we]_877-we do n’t care a rap for art of any kind . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_176-rodney asked [her]_{129-katharine} to pity [me]_176-rodney , and [she]_{129-katharine} teases [me]_176-rodney ! ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . “ [I]_175-mary do n’t intend to pity [you]_176-rodney , [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} , ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary remarked , kindly , but firmly . “ When a paper ’s a failure , [nobody]_2970-nobody says anything , whereas now , just listen to [them]_2970-nobody ! ”_[175-mary] The sound , which filled [the room]_{379-the room} , with its hurry of short syllables , its sudden pauses , and its sudden attacks , might be compared to some animal hubbub , frantic and inarticulate . “ D’you think that ’s all about [my]_176-rodney paper ? ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney inquired , after a moment ’s attention , with a distinct brightening of expression . “ Of course it is , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary . “ It was a very suggestive paper . ”_[175-mary] [She]_175-mary turned to [Denham]_154-ralph for confirmation , and [he]_154-ralph corroborated [her]_175-mary . “ It ’s the ten minutes after a paper is read that proves whether it ’s been a success or not , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph said . “ If [I]_154-ralph were [you]_176-rodney , [Rodney]_176-rodney , [I]_154-ralph should be very pleased with [myself]_154-ralph . ”_[154-ralph] This commendation seemed to comfort [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} completely , and [he]_176-rodney began to bethink [him]_176-rodney of all the passages in [his]_{183-mr. rodney} paper which deserved to be called “ suggestive . ”_[176-rodney] “ Did [you]_176-rodney agree at all , [Denham]_154-ralph , with what [I]_176-rodney said about [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s later use of imagery ? [I]_176-rodney ’m afraid [I]_176-rodney did n’t altogether make [my]_176-rodney meaning plain . ”_[176-rodney] Here [he]_{183-mr. rodney} gathered [himself]_{183-mr. rodney} together , and by means of a series of frog - like jerks , succeeded in bringing [himself]_{183-mr. rodney} close to [Denham]_154-ralph . [Denham]_154-ralph answered [him]_{183-mr. rodney} with the brevity which is the result of having another sentence in the mind to be addressed to [another person]_{879-another person} . [He]_154-ralph wished to say to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} : “ Did [you]_{129-katharine} remember to get that picture glazed before [[your]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3041-your aunt} came to dinner ? ”_[154-ralph] but , besides having to answer [Rodney]_176-rodney , [he]_154-ralph was not sure that the remark , with its assertion of intimacy , would not strike [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as impertinent . [She]_{129-katharine} was listening to what [some one in [another group]_{881-another group}]_{880-some one in another group} was saying . [Rodney]_176-rodney , meanwhile , was talking about [the Elizabethan dramatists]_{882-the elizabethan dramatists} . [He]_176-rodney was [a curious - looking man]_{883-a curious - looking man} since , upon first sight , especially if [he]_176-rodney chanced to be talking with animation , [he]_176-rodney appeared , in some way , ridiculous ; but , next moment , in repose , [his]_176-rodney face , with [its]_884-its large nose , thin cheeks and lips expressing the utmost sensibility , somehow recalled a Roman head bound with laurel , cut upon a circle of semi - transparent reddish stone . It had dignity and character . By profession [a clerk in [a Government office]_{886-a government office}]_{885-a clerk in a government office} , [he]_176-rodney was one of [those martyred spirits to whom literature is at once a source of divine joy and of almost intolerable irritation]_{887-those martyred spirits to whom literature is at once a source of divine joy and of almost intolerable irritation} . Not content to rest in [their]_888-they love of it , [they]_888-they must attempt to practise it [themselves]_888-they , and [they]_888-they are generally endowed with very little facility in composition . [They]_888-they condemn whatever [they]_888-they produce . Moreover , the violence of [their]_888-they feelings is such that [they]_888-they seldom meet with adequate sympathy , and being rendered very sensitive by [their]_888-they cultivated perceptions , suffer constant slights both to [[their]_888-they own persons]_{889-their own persons} and to the thing [they]_888-they worship . But [Rodney]_176-rodney could never resist making trial of the sympathies of [any one who seemed favorably disposed]_{890-any one who seemed favorably disposed} , and [Denham]_154-ralph ’s praise had stimulated [his]_176-rodney very susceptible vanity . “ [You]_{129-katharine} remember the passage just before the death of [the Duchess]_{3042-the duchess} ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph continued , edging still closer to [Denham]_154-ralph , and adjusting [his]_154-ralph elbow and knee in an incredibly angular combination . Here , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who had been cut off by these maneuvers from all communication with [the outer world]_{608-the outer world} , rose , and seated [herself]_{129-katharine} upon the window - sill , where [she]_{129-katharine} was joined by [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [The two young women]_{892-the two young women} could thus survey [the whole party]_{893-the whole party} . [Denham]_154-ralph looked after [them]_{892-the two young women} , and made as if [he]_154-ralph were tearing handfuls of grass up by the roots from the carpet . But as it fell in accurately with [his]_154-ralph conception of life that all one ’s desires were bound to be frustrated , [he]_154-ralph concentrated [his]_154-ralph mind upon literature , and determined , philosophically , to get what [he]_154-ralph could out of that . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was pleasantly excited . A variety of courses was open to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} knew [several people]_{894-several people} slightly , and at any moment [one of [them]_{894-several people}]_{895-one of them} might rise from the floor and come and speak to [her]_{129-katharine} ; on the other hand , [she]_{129-katharine} might select [somebody]_896-somebody for [herself]_{129-katharine} , or [she]_{129-katharine} might strike into [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s discourse , to which [she]_{129-katharine} was intermittently attentive . [She]_{129-katharine} was conscious of [Mary]_175-mary ’s body beside [her]_{129-katharine} , but , at the same time , the consciousness of being [both of them women]_{897-both of them women} made it unnecessary to speak to [her]_{129-katharine} . But [Mary]_175-mary , feeling , as [she]_175-mary had said , that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was a “ personality , ”_[175-mary] wished so much to speak to [her]_{129-katharine} that in a few moments [she]_{129-katharine} did . “ [They]_3043-they ’re exactly like a flock of sheep , are n’t [they]_3043-they ? ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said , referring to the noise that rose from the scattered bodies beneath [her]_175-mary . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned and smiled . “ [I]_{129-katharine} wonder what [they]_3043-they ’re making such a noise about ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said . “ [The Elizabethans]_{186-the elizabethans} , [I]_{129-katharine} suppose . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ No , [I]_175-mary do n’t think it ’s got anything to do with [the Elizabethans]_{186-the elizabethans} . There ! Did n’t [you]_{129-katharine} hear [them]_3043-they say , ‘ Insurance Bill ’ ? ”_[175-mary] “ [I]_175-mary wonder why [men]_719-men always talk about politics ? ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary speculated . “ [I]_175-mary suppose , if [we]_719-men had votes , [we]_719-men should , too . ”_[175-mary] “ [I]_175-mary dare say [we]_719-men should . And [you]_{129-katharine} spend [your]_{129-katharine} life in getting [us]_719-men votes , do n’t [you]_{129-katharine} ? ”_[175-mary] “ [I]_175-mary do , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary , stoutly . “ From ten to six every day [I]_175-mary ’m at it . ”_[175-mary] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , who was now pounding [his]_154-ralph way through the metaphysics of metaphor with [Rodney]_176-rodney , and was reminded of [his]_154-ralph talk that Sunday afternoon . [She]_{129-katharine} connected [him]_154-ralph vaguely with [Mary]_175-mary . “ [I]_{129-katharine} suppose [you]_{129-katharine} ’re one of [the people who think [we]_3046-we should all have professions]_{3045-the people who think we should all have professions} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , rather distantly , as if feeling [her]_{129-katharine} way among the phantoms of [an unknown world]_{898-an unknown world} . “ Oh dear no , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary at once . “ Well , [I]_{129-katharine} think [I]_{129-katharine} do , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} continued , with half a sigh . “ [You]_{129-katharine} will always be able to say that [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve done something , whereas , in a crowd like this , [I]_{129-katharine} feel rather melancholy . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ In a crowd ? Why in a crowd ? ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary asked , deepening the two lines between [her]_175-mary eyes , and hoisting [herself]_175-mary nearer to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} upon the window - sill . “ Do n’t [you]_{129-katharine} see how many different things [these people]_{3047-these people} care about ? And [I]_{129-katharine} want to beat [them]_{3047-these people} down — [I]_{129-katharine} only mean , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} corrected [herself]_{129-katharine} , “ that [I]_{129-katharine} want to assert [myself]_{129-katharine} , and it ’s difficult , if [one]_422-one has n’t a profession . ”_{[129-katharine]} [Mary]_175-mary smiled , thinking that to beat [people]_383-people down was a process that should present no difficulty to [Miss Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . [They]_900-they knew [each other]_{451-each other} so slightly that the beginning of intimacy , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to initiate by talking about [herself]_{129-katharine} , had something solemn in it , and [they]_900-they were silent , as if to decide whether to proceed or not . [They]_900-they tested the ground . “ Ah , but [I]_{129-katharine} want to trample upon [their]_383-people prostrate bodies ! ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} announced , a moment later , with a laugh , as if at the train of thought which had led [her]_{129-katharine} to this conclusion . “ One does n’t necessarily trample upon [people]_383-people ’s bodies because one runs [an office]_{2994-an office} , ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary remarked . “ No . Perhaps not , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . The conversation lapsed , and [Mary]_175-mary saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looking out into [the room]_{379-the room} rather moodily with closed lips , the desire to talk about [herself]_{129-katharine} or to initiate a friendship having , apparently , left [her]_{129-katharine} . [Mary]_175-mary was struck by [her]_175-mary capacity for being thus easily silent , and occupied with [her]_175-mary own thoughts . It was a habit that spoke of loneliness and a mind thinking for itself . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remained silent [Mary]_175-mary was slightly embarrassed . “ Yes , [they]_383-people ’re very like sheep , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary repeated , foolishly . “ And yet [they]_383-people are very clever — at least , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} added , “ [I]_{129-katharine} suppose [they]_383-people have all read [Webster]_187-webster . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Surely [you]_175-mary do n’t think that a proof of cleverness ? [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve read [Webster]_187-webster , [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve read [Ben Jonson]_{188-ben jonson} , but [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t think [myself]_{129-katharine} clever — not exactly , at least . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_{129-katharine} think [you]_{129-katharine} must be very clever , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed . “ Why ? Because [I]_{129-katharine} run [an office]_{2994-an office} ? ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_175-mary was n’t thinking of that . [I]_175-mary was thinking how [you]_{129-katharine} live alone in [this room]_{3013-this room} , and have parties . ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary reflected for a second . “ It means , chiefly , a power of being disagreeable to [[one]_422-one ’s own family]_{3054-one ’s own family} , [I]_175-mary think . [I]_175-mary have that , perhaps . [I]_175-mary did n’t want to live at [home]_2992-home , and [I]_175-mary told [[my]_175-mary father]_{2986-my father} . [He]_{2986-my father} did n’t like it .... But then [I]_175-mary have [a sister]_{3057-a sister} , and [you]_{129-katharine} have n’t , have [you]_{129-katharine} ? ”_[175-mary] “ No , [I]_{129-katharine} have n’t [any sisters]_{3058-any sisters} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [You]_{129-katharine} are writing a life of [[your]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} ? ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary pursued . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed instantly to be confronted by some familiar thought from which [she]_{129-katharine} wished to escape . [She]_{129-katharine} replied , “ Yes , [I]_{129-katharine} am helping [[my]_{129-katharine} mother]_{2968-my mother} , ”_{[129-katharine]} in such a way that [Mary]_175-mary felt [herself]_175-mary baffled , and put back again into the position in which [she]_175-mary had been at the beginning of [their]_903-their talk . It seemed to [her]_175-mary that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} possessed a curious power of drawing near and receding , which sent alternate emotions through [her]_{129-katharine} far more quickly than was usual , and kept [her]_{129-katharine} in a condition of curious alertness . Desiring to classify [her]_{129-katharine} , [Mary]_175-mary bethought [her]_{129-katharine} of the convenient term “ egoist . ”_[175-mary] “ [She]_{129-katharine} ’s [an egoist]_{3061-an egoist} , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said to [herself]_175-mary , and stored that word up to give to [Ralph]_154-ralph one day when , as it would certainly fall out , [they]_903-their were discussing [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . “ Heavens , what a mess there ’ll be to - morrow morning ! ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “ [I]_175-mary hope [you]_{129-katharine} do n’t sleep in [this room]_{3013-this room} , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary ? ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary laughed . “ What are [you]_{129-katharine} laughing at ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} demanded . “ [I]_{129-katharine} wo n’t tell [you]_{129-katharine} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Let [me]_{129-katharine} guess . [You]_{129-katharine} were laughing because [you]_{129-katharine} thought [I]_{129-katharine} ’d changed the conversation ? ”_{[129-katharine]} “ No . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Because [you]_{129-katharine} think — ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} paused . “ If [you]_{129-katharine} want to know , [I]_{129-katharine} was laughing at the way [you]_{129-katharine} said [Miss Datchet]_175-mary . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [Mary]_175-mary , then . [Mary]_175-mary , [Mary]_175-mary , [Mary]_175-mary . ”_{[129-katharine]} So saying , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} drew back the curtain in order , perhaps , to conceal the momentary flush of pleasure which is caused by coming perceptibly nearer to [another person]_{879-another person} . “ [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary . “ It ’s not such an imposing name as [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , [I]_175-mary ’m afraid . ”_[175-mary] [They]_905-they both looked out of the window , first up at the hard silver moon , stationary among a hurry of little grey - blue clouds , and then down upon the roofs of [London]_2-london , with all [their]_906-their upright chimneys , and then below [them]_906-their at the empty moonlit pavement of [the street]_{397-the street} , upon which the joint of each paving - stone was clearly marked out . [Mary]_175-mary then saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} raise [her]_{129-katharine} eyes again to the moon , with a contemplative look in them , as though [she]_{129-katharine} were setting that moon against the moon of other nights , held in memory . [Some one in [the room behind [them]_905-they]_{909-the room behind them}]_{908-some one in the room behind them} made a joke about star - gazing , which destroyed [their]_905-they pleasure in it , and [they]_905-they looked back into [the room]_{379-the room} again . [Ralph]_154-ralph had been watching for this moment , and [he]_154-ralph instantly produced [his]_154-ralph sentence . “ [I]_154-ralph wonder , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , whether [you]_{129-katharine} remembered to get that picture glazed ? ”_[154-ralph] [His]_154-ralph voice showed that the question was one that had been prepared . “ Oh , [[you]_154-ralph idiot]_{3063-you idiot} ! ”_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed , very nearly aloud , with a sense that [Ralph]_154-ralph had said something very stupid . So , after three lessons in Latin grammar , one might correct [a fellow student , whose knowledge did not embrace the ablative of “ mensa]_{3064-a fellow student , whose knowledge did not embrace the ablative of “ mensa} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Picture — what picture ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . “ Oh , at [home]_2992-home , [you]_{129-katharine} mean — that Sunday afternoon . Was it the day [Mr. Fortescue]_{132-mr. fortescue} came ? Yes , [I]_{911-the three of them} think [I]_{911-the three of them} remembered it . ”_{[911-the three of them]} [The three of them]_{911-the three of them} stood for a moment awkwardly silent , and then [Mary]_175-mary left [them]_{911-the three of them} in order to see that the great pitcher of coffee was properly handled , for beneath all [her]_175-mary education [she]_175-mary preserved the anxieties of [one who owns china]_{912-one who owns china} . [Ralph]_154-ralph could think of nothing further to say ; but could [one]_422-one have stripped off [his]_154-ralph mask of flesh , one would have seen that [his]_154-ralph will - power was rigidly set upon a single object — that [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} should obey [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph wished [her]_{129-katharine} to stay there until , by some measures not yet apparent to [him]_154-ralph , [he]_154-ralph had conquered [her]_{129-katharine} interest . These states of mind transmit themselves very often without the use of language , and it was evident to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [this young man]_{433-this young man} had fixed [his]_{433-this young man} mind upon [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} instantly recalled [her]_{129-katharine} first impressions of [him]_{433-this young man} , and saw [herself]_{129-katharine} again proffering family relics . [She]_{129-katharine} reverted to the state of mind in which [he]_{433-this young man} had left [her]_{129-katharine} that Sunday afternoon . [She]_{129-katharine} supposed that [he]_{433-this young man} judged [her]_{129-katharine} very severely . [She]_{129-katharine} argued naturally that , if this were the case , the burden of the conversation should rest with [him]_{433-this young man} . But [she]_{129-katharine} submitted so far as to stand perfectly still , [her]_{129-katharine} eyes upon the opposite wall , and [her]_{129-katharine} lips very nearly closed , though the desire to laugh stirred [them]_915-them slightly . “ [You]_{129-katharine} know the names of the stars , [I]_154-ralph suppose ? ”_[154-ralph] [Denham]_154-ralph remarked , and from the tone of [his]_154-ralph voice one might have thought that [he]_154-ralph grudged [Katharine]_{129-katharine} the knowledge [he]_154-ralph attributed to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} kept [her]_{129-katharine} voice steady with some difficulty . “ [I]_{129-katharine} know how to find the Pole star if [I]_{129-katharine} ’m lost . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t suppose that often happens to [you]_{129-katharine} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ No . Nothing interesting ever happens to [me]_{129-katharine} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said . “ [I]_154-ralph think [you]_{129-katharine} make a system of saying disagreeable things , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph broke out , again going further than [he]_154-ralph meant to . “ [I]_154-ralph suppose it ’s one of the characteristics of [[your]_{129-katharine} class]_{3066-your class} . [They]_{3066-your class} never talk seriously to [[their]_{3066-your class} inferiors]_{3067-their inferiors} . ”_[154-ralph] Whether it was that [they]_916-they were meeting on neutral ground to - night , or whether the carelessness of an old grey coat that [Denham]_154-ralph wore gave an ease to [his]_154-ralph bearing that [he]_154-ralph lacked in conventional dress , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} certainly felt no impulse to consider [him]_154-ralph outside the particular set in which [she]_{129-katharine} lived . “ In what sense are [you]_154-ralph [[my]_{129-katharine} inferior]_{3068-my inferior} ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} asked , looking at [him]_154-ralph gravely , as though honestly searching for [his]_154-ralph meaning . The look gave [him]_154-ralph great pleasure . For the first time [he]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph on perfectly equal terms with [a woman whom [he]_154-ralph wished to think well of [him]_154-ralph]_{917-a woman whom he wished to think well of him} , although [he]_154-ralph could not have explained why [her]_{917-a woman whom he wished to think well of him} opinion of [him]_154-ralph mattered one way or another . Perhaps , after all , [he]_154-ralph only wanted to have something of [her]_{917-a woman whom he wished to think well of him} to take [home]_2992-home to think about . But [he]_154-ralph was not destined to profit by [his]_154-ralph advantage . “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t think [I]_{129-katharine} understand what [you]_154-ralph mean , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated , and then [she]_{129-katharine} was obliged to stop and answer [some one who wished to know whether [she]_{129-katharine} would buy a ticket for an opera from [them]_920-them]_{919-some one who wished to know whether she would buy a ticket for an opera from them} , at a reduction . Indeed , the temper of the meeting was now unfavorable to separate conversation ; it had become rather debauched and hilarious , and [people who scarcely knew [each other]_{451-each other}]_{921-people who scarcely knew each other} were making use of Christian names with apparent cordiality , and had reached that kind of gay tolerance and general friendliness which [human beings]_{923-human beings} in [England]_5-england only attain after sitting together for three hours or so , and the first cold blast in the air of [the street]_{397-the street} freezes [them]_{923-human beings} into isolation once more . Cloaks were being flung round the shoulders , hats swiftly pinned to the head ; and [Denham]_154-ralph had the mortification of seeing [Katharine]_{129-katharine} helped to prepare [herself]_{129-katharine} by [the ridiculous Rodney]_176-rodney . It was not the convention of the meeting to say good - bye , or necessarily even to nod to [the person with whom one]_{925-the person with whom one} was talking ; but , nevertheless , [Denham]_154-ralph was disappointed by the completeness with which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} parted from [him]_154-ralph , without any attempt to finish [her]_{129-katharine} sentence . [She]_{129-katharine} left with [Rodney]_176-rodney . [Denham]_154-ralph had no conscious intention of following [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but , seeing [her]_{129-katharine} depart , [he]_154-ralph took [his]_154-ralph hat and ran rather more quickly down the stairs than [he]_154-ralph would have done if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had not been in front of [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph overtook [a friend of [his]_154-ralph]_{926-a friend of his} , by name [Harry Sandys]_189-henry , who was going the same way , and [they]_927-they walked together a few paces behind [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney . The night was very still , and on such nights , when the traffic thins away , [the walker]_{928-the walker} becomes conscious of the moon in [the street]_{397-the street} , as if the curtains of the sky had been drawn apart , and [the heaven]_{930-the heaven} lay bare , as it does in [the country]_{761-the country} . The air was softly cool , so that [people who had been sitting talking in a crowd]_{932-people who had been sitting talking in a crowd} found it pleasant to walk a little before deciding to stop [an omnibus]_{933-an omnibus} or encounter light again in [an underground railway]_{851-an underground railway} . [Sandys]_189-henry , who was [a barrister with a philosophic tendency]_{935-a barrister with a philosophic tendency} , took out [his]_189-henry pipe , lit it , murmured “ hum ”_[189-henry] and “ ha , ”_[189-henry] and was silent . [The couple in front of [them]_927-they]_{936-the couple in front of them} kept [their]_{936-the couple in front of them} distance accurately , and appeared , so far as [Denham]_154-ralph could judge by the way [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} turned towards [each other]_{451-each other} , to be talking very constantly . [He]_154-ralph observed that when [a pedestrian going the opposite way]_{938-a pedestrian going the opposite way} forced [them]_{936-the couple in front of them} to part [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} came together again directly afterwards . Without intending to watch [them]_{936-the couple in front of them} [he]_154-ralph never quite lost sight of the yellow scarf twisted round [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s head , or the light overcoat which made [Rodney]_176-rodney look fashionable among [the crowd]_{939-the crowd} . At [the Strand]_{811-the strand} [he]_154-ralph supposed that [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} would separate , but instead [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} crossed [the road]_{941-the road} , and took [their]_{936-the couple in front of them} way down [one of [the narrow passages which lead through [ancient courts]_{944-ancient courts} to [the river]_{945-the river}]_{943-the narrow passages which lead through ancient courts to the river}]_{942-one of the narrow passages which lead through ancient courts to the river} . Among [the crowd of people in [the big thoroughfares]_{947-the big thoroughfares}]_{946-the crowd of people in the big thoroughfares} [Rodney]_176-rodney seemed merely to be lending [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [[his]_176-rodney escort]_{948-his escort} , but now , when [passengers]_{949-passengers} were rare and the footsteps of [the couple were distinctly heard in the silence]_{950-the couple were distinctly heard in the silence} , [Denham]_154-ralph could not help picturing to [himself]_154-ralph some change in [their]_{936-the couple in front of them} conversation . The effect of the light and shadow , which seemed to increase [their]_{936-the couple in front of them} height , was to make them mysterious and significant , so that [Denham]_154-ralph had no feeling of irritation with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but rather a half - dreamy acquiescence in the course of [the world]_{478-the world} . Yes , [she]_{129-katharine} did very well to dream about — but [Sandys]_189-henry had suddenly begun to talk . [He]_189-henry was [a solitary man who had made [[his]_189-henry friends]_{953-his friends} at college and always addressed [them]_{953-his friends} as if [they]_{953-his friends} were still undergraduates arguing in [[his]_189-henry room]_{521-his room}]_{952-a solitary man who had made his friends at college and always addressed them as if they were still undergraduates arguing in his room} , though many months or even years had passed in some cases between the last sentence and the present one . The method was a little singular , but very restful , for it seemed to ignore completely all accidents of human life , and to span very deep abysses with a few simple words . On this occasion [he]_154-ralph began , while [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} waited for a minute on the edge of [the Strand]_{19-the strand} : “ [I]_154-ralph hear that [Bennett]_{188-ben jonson} has given up [his]_{188-ben jonson} theory of truth . ”_[154-ralph] [Denham]_154-ralph returned a suitable answer , and [he]_154-ralph proceeded to explain how this decision had been arrived at , and what changes it involved in the philosophy which [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} both accepted . Meanwhile [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney drew further ahead , and [Denham]_154-ralph kept , if that is the right expression for an involuntary action , one filament of [his]_154-ralph mind upon [them]_{936-the couple in front of them} , while with the rest of [his]_154-ralph intelligence [he]_154-ralph sought to understand what [Sandys]_189-henry was saying . As [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} passed through [the courts]_{955-the courts} thus talking , [Sandys]_189-henry laid the tip of [his]_189-henry stick upon one of the stones forming a time - worn arch , and struck it meditatively two or three times in order to illustrate something very obscure about the complex nature of one ’s apprehension of facts . During the pause which this necessitated , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney turned the corner and disappeared . For a moment [Denham]_154-ralph stopped involuntarily in [his]_154-ralph sentence , and continued it with a sense of having lost something . Unconscious that [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} were observed , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney had come out on [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . When [they]_{936-the couple in front of them} had crossed [the road]_{941-the road} , [Rodney]_176-rodney slapped [his]_176-rodney hand upon the stone parapet above [the river]_{945-the river} and exclaimed : “ [I]_176-rodney promise [I]_176-rodney wo n’t say another word about it , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! But do stop a minute and look at the moon upon [the water]_{3069-the water} . ”_[176-rodney] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} paused , looked up and down [the river]_{945-the river} , and snuffed the air . “ [I]_{129-katharine} ’m sure one can smell [the sea]_{829-the sea} , with the wind blowing this way , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said . [They]_{936-the couple in front of them} stood silent for a few moments while [the river]_{945-the river} shifted in its bed , and the silver and red lights which were laid upon [it]_{945-the river} were torn by the current and joined together again . Very far off up [the river]_{945-the river} [a steamer]_{962-a steamer} hooted with its hollow voice of unspeakable melancholy , as if from the heart of lonely mist - shrouded voyagings . “ Ah ! ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney cried , striking [his]_176-rodney hand once more upon the balustrade , “ why ca n’t one say how beautiful it all is ? Why am [I]_176-rodney condemned for ever , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , to feel what [I]_176-rodney ca n’t express ? And the things [I]_176-rodney can give there ’s no use in [my]_176-rodney giving . Trust [me]_176-rodney , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney added hastily , “ [I]_176-rodney wo n’t speak of it again . But in the presence of beauty — look at the iridescence round the moon!—one feels — one feels — Perhaps if [you]_{129-katharine} married [me]_176-rodney — [I’m]_176-rodney half [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , [you]_{129-katharine} see , and [I]_176-rodney ca n’t pretend not to feel what [I]_176-rodney do feel . If [I]_176-rodney could write — ah , that would be another matter . [I]_176-rodney should n’t bother [you]_{129-katharine} to marry [me]_176-rodney then , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ”_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney spoke these disconnected sentences rather abruptly , with [his]_176-rodney eyes alternately upon the moon and upon [the stream]_{963-the stream} . “ But for [me]_{129-katharine} [I]_{129-katharine} suppose [you]_176-rodney would recommend marriage ? ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with [her]_{129-katharine} eyes fixed on the moon . “ Certainly [I]_{129-katharine} should . Not for [you]_176-rodney only , but for [all women]_{3072-all women} . Why , [you]_176-rodney ’re nothing at all without it ; [you]_176-rodney ’re only half alive ; using only half [your]_176-rodney faculties ; [you]_176-rodney must feel that for [yourself]_176-rodney . That is why — ”_{[129-katharine]} Here [he]_176-rodney stopped [himself]_176-rodney , and [they]_964-we began to walk slowly along [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} , the moon fronting [them]_964-we . [Rodney]_176-rodney quoted . “ [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve been told a great many unpleasant things about [myself]_{129-katharine} to - night , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stated , without attending to [him]_176-rodney . “ [Mr. Denham]_131-denham seems to think it [his]_131-denham mission to lecture [me]_{129-katharine} , though [I]_{129-katharine} hardly know [him]_131-denham . By the way , [William]_176-rodney , [you]_176-rodney know [him]_131-denham ; tell [me]_{129-katharine} , what is [he]_131-denham like ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [William]_176-rodney drew a deep sigh . “ [We]_964-we may lecture [you]_{129-katharine} till [we]_964-we ’re blue in the face — ”_[176-rodney] “ Yes — but what ’s [he]_131-denham like ? ”_[176-rodney] “ And [we]_964-we write sonnets to [your]_{129-katharine} eyebrows , [[you]_{129-katharine} cruel practical creature]_{3073-you cruel practical creature} . [Denham]_131-denham ? ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney added , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remained silent . “ [A good fellow]_{3074-a good fellow} , [I]_176-rodney should think . [He]_131-denham cares , naturally , for the right sort of things , [I]_176-rodney expect . But [you]_{129-katharine} must n’t marry [him]_131-denham , though . [He]_131-denham scolded [you]_{129-katharine} , did [he]_131-denham — what did [he]_131-denham say ? ”_[176-rodney] “ What happens with [Mr. Denham]_131-denham is this : [He]_131-denham comes to tea . [I]_966-i do all [I]_966-i can to put [him]_131-denham at [his]_131-denham ease . [He]_131-denham merely sits and scowls at [me]_966-i . Then [I]_966-i show [him]_131-denham [our]_3075-we manuscripts . At this [he]_131-denham becomes really angry , and tells [me]_966-i [I]_966-i ’ve no business to call [myself]_966-i [a middle - class woman]_{3076-a middle - class woman} . So [we]_3075-we part in a huff ; and next time [we]_3075-we meet , which was to - night , [he]_131-denham walks straight up to [me]_966-i , and says , ‘ Go to [the Devil]_{3077-the devil} ! ’ That ’s the sort of behavior [[my]_966-i mother]_{2968-my mother} complains of . [I]_966-i want to know , what does it mean ? ”_[966-i] [She]_966-i paused and , slackening [her]_966-i steps , looked at [the lighted train drawing]_{967-the lighted train drawing} [itself]_{967-the lighted train drawing} smoothly over [Hungerford Bridge]_{20-hungerford bridge} . “ It means , [I]_966-i should say , that [he]_131-denham finds [you]_{129-katharine} chilly and unsympathetic . ”_[966-i] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} laughed with round , separate notes of genuine amusement . “ It ’s time [I]_{129-katharine} jumped into [a cab]_{3079-a cab} and hid [myself]_{129-katharine} in [[my]_{129-katharine} own house]_{3080-my own house} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “ Would [[your]_176-rodney mother]_{3081-your mother} object to [my]_{129-katharine} being seen with [you]_176-rodney ? [No one]_{2921-no one} could possibly recognize [us]_3083-us , could [they]_{2921-no one} ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Rodney]_176-rodney inquired , with some solicitude . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_176-rodney , and perceiving that [his]_176-rodney solicitude was genuine , [she]_{129-katharine} laughed again , but with an ironical note in [her]_{129-katharine} laughter . “ [You]_{129-katharine} may laugh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but [I]_{129-katharine} can tell [you]_{129-katharine} that if any of [[your]_{129-katharine} friends]_{3084-your friends} saw [us]_3083-us together at this time of night [they]_{2921-no one} would talk about it , and [I]_{129-katharine} should find that very disagreeable . But why do [you]_176-rodney laugh ? ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t know . Because [you]_{129-katharine} ’re such a queer mixture , [I]_{129-katharine} think . [You]_{129-katharine} ’re [half poet]_{3085-half poet} and [half old maid]_{3086-half old maid} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_{129-katharine} know [I]_{129-katharine} always seem to [you]_176-rodney highly ridiculous . But [I]_{129-katharine} ca n’t help having inherited certain traditions and trying to put them into practice . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Nonsense , [William]_176-rodney . [You]_176-rodney may come of [the oldest family in [Devonshire]_{21-devonshire}]_{3087-the oldest family in devonshire} , but that ’s no reason why [you]_176-rodney should mind being seen alone with [me]_{129-katharine} on [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_{129-katharine} ’m ten years older than [you]_176-rodney are , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and [I]_{129-katharine} know more of [the world]_{478-the world} than [you]_176-rodney do . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Very well . Leave [me]_176-rodney and go [home]_2992-home . ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney looked back over [his]_176-rodney shoulder and perceived that [they]_968-they were being followed at a short distance by [a taxicab]_{969-a taxicab} , which evidently awaited [his]_176-rodney summons . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} saw it , too , and exclaimed : “ Do n’t call [that cab]_{3091-that cab} for [me]_{129-katharine} , [William]_176-rodney . [I]_{129-katharine} shall walk . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Nonsense , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [you]_176-rodney ’ll do nothing of the kind . It ’s nearly twelve o’clock , and [we]_968-they ’ve walked too far as it is . ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} laughed and walked on so quickly that both [Rodney]_176-rodney and [the taxicab]_{970-the taxicab} had to increase [their]_968-they pace to keep up with [her]_{129-katharine} . “ Now , [William]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , “ if [people]_383-people see [me]_{129-katharine} racing along [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} like this [they]_383-people WILL talk . [You]_176-rodney had far better say good - night , if [you]_176-rodney do n’t want [people]_383-people to talk . ”_{[129-katharine]} At this [William]_176-rodney beckoned , with a despotic gesture , to [the cab]_{971-the cab} with one hand , and with the other [he]_176-rodney brought [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to a standstill . “ Do n’t let [the man]_{3095-the man} see [us]_3096-us struggling , for God ’s sake ! ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney murmured . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stood for a moment quite still . “ There ’s more of [the old maid]_{3097-the old maid} in [you]_176-rodney than [the poet]_{661-the poet} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} observed briefly . [William]_176-rodney shut the door sharply , gave the address to [the driver]_{972-the driver} , and turned away , lifting [his]_176-rodney hat punctiliously high in farewell to [the invisible lady]_{973-the invisible lady} . [He]_176-rodney looked back after [the cab]_{971-the cab} twice , suspiciously , half expecting that [she]_{973-the invisible lady} would stop it and dismount ; but it bore [her]_{973-the invisible lady} swiftly on , and was soon out of sight . [William]_176-rodney felt in the mood for a short soliloquy of indignation , for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had contrived to exasperate [him]_176-rodney in more ways than one . “ Of [all the unreasonable , inconsiderate creatures [I]_176-rodney ’ve ever known]_{3099-all the unreasonable , inconsiderate creatures i ’ve ever known} , [she]_{129-katharine} ’s the worst ! ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney exclaimed to [himself]_176-rodney , striding back along [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . “ Heaven forbid that [I]_176-rodney should ever make a fool of [myself]_176-rodney with [her]_{129-katharine} again . Why , [I]_176-rodney ’d sooner marry [the daughter of [[my]_176-rodney landlady]_{3101-my landlady}]_{3100-the daughter of my landlady} than [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ! [She]_{129-katharine} ’d leave [me]_176-rodney not a moment ’s peace — and [she]_{129-katharine} ’d never understand [me]_176-rodney — never , never , never ! ”_[176-rodney] Uttered aloud and with vehemence so that the stars of [Heaven]_976-heaven might hear , for there was [no human being at hand]_{977-no human being at hand} , these sentiments sounded satisfactorily irrefutable . [Rodney]_176-rodney quieted down , and walked on in silence , until [he]_176-rodney perceived some one approaching [him]_176-rodney , who had something , either in [his]_176-rodney walk or [his]_176-rodney dress , which proclaimed that [he]_176-rodney was [one of [[William]_176-rodney ’s acquaintances]_{979-william ’s acquaintances}]_{978-one of william ’s acquaintances} before it was possible to tell which of [them]_{979-william ’s acquaintances} [he]_176-rodney was . It was [Denham]_131-denham who , having parted from [Sandys]_189-henry at the bottom of [[his]_131-denham staircase]_{980-his staircase} , was now walking to [the Tube at [Charing Cross]_{22-charing cross}]_{981-the tube at charing cross} , deep in the thoughts which [his]_131-denham talk with [Sandys]_189-henry had suggested . [He]_131-denham had forgotten the meeting at [[Mary Datchet]_175-mary ’s rooms]_{982-mary datchet ’s rooms} , [he]_131-denham had forgotten [Rodney]_176-rodney , and metaphors and Elizabethan drama , and could have sworn that [he]_131-denham had forgotten [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , too , although that was more disputable . [His]_131-denham mind was scaling the highest pinnacles of [its]_983-its alps , where there was only starlight and the untrodden snow . [He]_131-denham cast strange eyes upon [Rodney]_176-rodney , as [they]_984-they encountered each other beneath a lamp - post . “ Ha ! ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . If [he]_131-denham had been in full possession of [his]_131-denham mind , [Denham]_131-denham would probably have passed on with a salutation . But the shock of the interruption made [him]_131-denham stand still , and before [he]_131-denham knew what [he]_131-denham was doing , [he]_131-denham had turned and was walking with [Rodney]_176-rodney in obedience to [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s invitation to come to [[his]_131-denham rooms]_{985-his rooms} and have something to drink . [Denham]_131-denham had no wish to drink with [Rodney]_176-rodney , but [he]_131-denham followed [him]_176-rodney passively enough . [Rodney]_176-rodney was gratified by this obedience . [He]_176-rodney felt inclined to be communicative with [this silent man]_{986-this silent man} , who possessed so obviously all the good masculine qualities in which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} now seemed lamentably deficient . “ [You]_131-denham do well , [Denham]_131-denham , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham began impulsively , “ to have nothing to do with [young women]_{3102-young women} . [I]_131-denham offer [you]_131-denham [my]_131-denham experience — if one trusts [them]_{3102-young women} one invariably has cause to repent . Not that [I]_131-denham have any reason at this moment , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham added hastily , “ to complain of [them]_{3102-young women} . It ’s a subject that crops up now and again for no particular reason . [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , [I]_131-denham dare say , is one of the exceptions . Do [you]_131-denham like [Miss Datchet]_175-mary ? ”_[131-denham] These remarks indicated clearly enough that [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s nerves were in a state of irritation , and [Denham]_131-denham speedily woke to the situation of [the world]_{478-the world} as it had been one hour ago . [He]_131-denham had last seen [Rodney]_176-rodney walking with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [He]_131-denham could not help regretting the eagerness with which [his]_131-denham mind returned to these interests , and fretted [him]_131-denham with the old trivial anxieties . [He]_131-denham sank in [his]_131-denham own esteem . Reason bade [him]_131-denham break from [Rodney]_176-rodney , who clearly tended to become confidential , before [he]_131-denham had utterly lost touch with the problems of high philosophy . [He]_131-denham looked along [the road]_{941-the road} , and marked a lamp - post at a distance of some hundred yards , and decided that [he]_131-denham would part from [Rodney]_176-rodney when [they]_989-they reached this point . “ Yes , [I]_131-denham like [Mary]_175-mary ; [I]_131-denham do n’t see how [one]_422-one could help liking [her]_175-mary , ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham remarked cautiously , with [his]_131-denham eye on the lamp - post . “ Ah , [Denham]_131-denham , [you]_131-denham ’re so different from [me]_131-denham . [You]_131-denham never give [yourself]_131-denham away . [I]_131-denham watched [you]_131-denham this evening with [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . [My]_131-denham instinct is to trust [the person [I]_131-denham ’m talking to]_{3104-the person i ’m talking to} . That ’s why [I]_131-denham ’m always being taken in , [I]_131-denham suppose . ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham seemed to be pondering this statement of [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s , but , as a matter of fact , [he]_131-denham was hardly conscious of [Rodney]_176-rodney and [his]_176-rodney revelations , and was only concerned to make [him]_176-rodney mention [Katharine]_{129-katharine} again before [they]_990-they reached the lamp - post . “ Who ’s taken [you]_131-denham in now ? ”_[131-denham] [he]_131-denham asked . “ [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ? ”_[131-denham] [Rodney]_176-rodney stopped and once more began beating a kind of rhythm , as if [he]_176-rodney were marking a phrase in a symphony , upon the smooth stone balustrade of [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . “ [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney repeated , with a curious little chuckle . “ No , [Denham]_131-denham , [I]_176-rodney have no illusions about [that young woman]_{3105-that young woman} . [I]_176-rodney think [I]_176-rodney made that plain to [her]_{3105-that young woman} to - night . But do n’t run away with a false impression , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney continued eagerly , turning and linking [his]_176-rodney arm through [Denham]_131-denham ’s , as though to prevent [him]_176-rodney from escaping ; and , thus compelled , [Denham]_131-denham passed the monitory lamp - post , to which , in passing , [he]_131-denham breathed an excuse , for how could [he]_131-denham break away when [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s arm was actually linked in [his]_131-denham ? “ [You]_131-denham must not think that [I]_992-he have any bitterness against [her]_{3105-that young woman} — far from it . It ’s not altogether [her]_{3105-that young woman} fault , [poor girl]_{3106-poor girl} . [She]_{3105-that young woman} lives , [you]_131-denham know , one of those odious , self - centered lives — at least , [I]_992-he think them odious for [a woman]_{3107-a woman} — feeding [her]_{3105-that young woman} wits upon everything , having control of everything , getting far too much [her]_{3105-that young woman} own way at [home]_2992-home — spoilt , in a sense , feeling that [every one]_{3109-every one} is at [her]_{3105-that young woman} feet , and so not realizing how [she]_{3105-that young woman} hurts — that is , how rudely [she]_{3105-that young woman} behaves to people who have n’t all [her]_{3105-that young woman} advantages . Still , to do [her]_{3105-that young woman} justice , [she]_{3105-that young woman} ’s [no fool]_{3110-no fool} , ”_[992-he] [he]_992-he added , as if to warn [Denham]_131-denham not to take any liberties . “ [She]_{3105-that young woman} has taste . [She]_{3105-that young woman} has sense . [She]_{3105-that young woman} can understand [you]_131-denham when [you]_131-denham talk to [her]_{3105-that young woman} . But [she]_{3105-that young woman} ’s [a woman]_{3107-a woman} , and there ’s an end of it , ”_[992-he] [he]_992-he added , with another little chuckle , and dropped [Denham]_131-denham ’s arm . “ And did [you]_992-he tell [her]_993-her all this to - night ? ”_[131-denham] [Denham]_131-denham asked . “ Oh dear [me]_131-denham , no . [I]_131-denham should never think of telling [Katharine]_{129-katharine} the truth about [herself]_{129-katharine} . That would n’t do at all . [One]_422-one has to be in an attitude of adoration in order to get on with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[131-denham] Now [I]_0-i ’ve learnt that [she]_993-her ’s refused to marry [him]_992-he why do n’t [I]_0-i go [home]_2992-home ? ” [Denham]_131-denham thought to [himself]_131-denham . But [he]_992-he went on walking beside [Rodney]_176-rodney , and for a time [they]_3113-they did not speak , though [Rodney]_176-rodney hummed snatches of a tune out of an opera by [Mozart]_190-mozart . A feeling of contempt and liking combine very naturally in the mind of one to whom [another]_3114-another has just spoken unpremeditatedly , revealing rather more of [his]_992-he private feelings than [he]_992-he intended to reveal . [Denham]_131-denham began to wonder what sort of person [Rodney]_176-rodney was , and at the same time [Rodney]_176-rodney began to think about [Denham]_131-denham . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re [a slave]_{995-a slave} like [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked . “_{[996-a solicitor]} [A solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} , yes . ” “_{[996-a solicitor]} [I]_0-i sometimes wonder why [we]_997-we do n’t chuck it . Why do n’t [you]_0-i emigrate , [Denham]_131-denham ? [I]_0-i should have thought that would suit [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve [a family]_{569-a family} . ” “_{[569-a family]} [I]_0-i ’m often on the point of going [myself]_0-i . And then [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i could n’t live without this”—and [he]_176-rodney waved [his]_176-rodney hand towards [the City of [London]_2-london , which wore , at this moment , the appearance of [a town cut out of gray - blue cardboard]_{3116-a town cut out of gray - blue cardboard} , and pasted flat against the sky , which was of a deeper blue]_{3115-the city of london , which wore , at this moment , the appearance of a town cut out of gray - blue cardboard , and pasted flat against the sky , which was of a deeper blue} . “_[0-i] There are [one or two people [I]_0-i ’m fond of]_{999-one or two people i ’m fond of} , and there ’s a little good music , and a few pictures , now and then — just enough to keep one dangling about here . Ah , but [I]_0-i could n’t live with [savages]_1000-savages ! Are [you]_0-i fond of books ? Music ? Pictures ? D’you care at all for first editions ? [I]_0-i ’ve got a few nice things up here , things [I]_0-i pick up cheap , for [I]_0-i ca n’t afford to give what [they]_1001-they ask . ” [They]_3117-they had reached [a small court of [high eighteenth - century houses]_{3119-high eighteenth - century houses}]_{3118-a small court of high eighteenth - century houses} , in one of which [Rodney]_176-rodney had [[his]_176-rodney rooms]_{985-his rooms} . [They]_3117-they climbed [a very steep staircase]_{3121-a very steep staircase} , through whose uncurtained windows the moonlight fell , illuminating the banisters with [their]_1001-they twisted pillars , and the piles of plates set on the window - sills , and jars half - full of milk . [[Rodney]_176-rodney ’s rooms]_{3122-rodney ’s rooms} were small , but the sitting - room window looked out into [a courtyard]_{3123-a courtyard} , with [its]_{3123-a courtyard} flagged pavement , and [its]_{3123-a courtyard} single tree , and across to the flat red - brick fronts of [the opposite houses]_{3124-the opposite houses} , which would not have surprised [Dr. Johnson]_{191-dr. johnson} , if [he]_{191-dr. johnson} had come out of [his]_{191-dr. johnson} grave for a turn in the moonlight . [Rodney]_176-rodney lit [his]_176-rodney lamp , pulled [his]_176-rodney curtains , offered [Denham]_131-denham a chair , and , flinging the manuscript of [his]_176-rodney paper on the Elizabethan use of Metaphor on to the table , exclaimed : “_[1001-they] Oh dear [me]_0-i , what a waste of time ! But it ’s over now , and so [we]_1002-we may think no more about it . ” [He]_176-rodney then busied [himself]_176-rodney very dexterously in lighting a fire , producing glasses , whisky , a cake , and cups and saucers . [He]_176-rodney put on a faded crimson dressing - gown , and a pair of red slippers , and advanced to [Denham]_131-denham with a tumbler in one hand and a well - burnished book in the other . “_{[192-the baskerville]} [The Baskerville]_{192-the baskerville} Congreve , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney , offering it to [[his]_176-rodney guest]_{3125-his guest} . “_{[192-the baskerville]} [I]_0-i could n’t read [him]_{192-the baskerville} in a cheap edition . ” When [he]_176-rodney was seen thus among [his]_176-rodney books and [his]_176-rodney valuables , amiably anxious to make [[his]_176-rodney visitor]_{570-his visitor} comfortable , and moving about with something of the dexterity and grace of a Persian cat , [Denham]_131-denham relaxed [his]_131-denham critical attitude , and felt more at [home]_2992-home with [Rodney]_176-rodney than [he]_131-denham would have done with [many men better known to [him]_176-rodney]_{3128-many men better known to him} . [[Rodney]_176-rodney ’s room]_{3129-rodney ’s room} was [the room of [a person who cherishes a great many personal tastes , guarding [them]_3132-them from the rough blasts of [the public]_{731-the public}]_{3131-a person who cherishes a great many personal tastes , guarding them from the rough blasts of the public} with scrupulous attention]_{3130-the room of a person who cherishes a great many personal tastes , guarding them from the rough blasts of the public with scrupulous attention} . [His]_176-rodney papers and [his]_176-rodney books rose in jagged mounds on table and floor , round which [he]_176-rodney skirted with nervous care lest [his]_176-rodney dressing - gown might disarrange them ever so slightly . On a chair stood a stack of photographs of statues and pictures , which it was [his]_176-rodney habit to exhibit , one by one , for the space of a day or two . The books on [his]_176-rodney shelves were as orderly as regiments of [soldiers]_{3134-soldiers} , and the backs of them shone like so many bronze beetle - wings ; though , if [you]_3135-you took one from [its]_3136-its place [you]_3135-you saw a shabbier volume behind it , since space was limited . An oval Venetian mirror stood above the fireplace , and reflected duskily in its spotted depths the faint yellow and crimson of a jarful of tulips which stood among the letters and pipes and cigarettes upon the mantelpiece . A small piano occupied a corner of [the room]_{379-the room} , with the score of “_{[192-the baskerville]} [Don Giovanni]_{193-don giovanni} ” open upon the bracket . “_{[192-the baskerville]} Well , [Rodney]_176-rodney , ” said [Denham]_131-denham , as [he]_131-denham filled [his]_131-denham pipe and looked about [him]_176-rodney , “_[176-rodney] this is all very nice and comfortable . ” [Rodney]_176-rodney turned [his]_176-rodney head half round and smiled , with the pride of [a proprietor]_{3138-a proprietor} , and then prevented [himself]_176-rodney from smiling . “_[176-rodney] Tolerable , ” [he]_176-rodney muttered . “_[176-rodney] But [I]_0-i dare say it ’s just as well that [you]_176-rodney have to earn [your]_176-rodney own living . ” “_[0-i] If [you]_176-rodney mean that [I]_0-i should n’t do anything good with leisure if [I]_0-i had it , [I]_0-i dare say [you]_176-rodney ’re right . But [I]_0-i should be ten times as happy with [my]_0-i whole day to spend as [I]_0-i liked . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i doubt that , ” [Denham]_131-denham replied . [They]_3139-their sat silent , and the smoke from [their]_3139-their pipes joined amicably in a blue vapor above [their]_3139-their heads . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i could spend three hours every day reading Shakespeare , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney remarked . “_[0-i] And there ’s music and pictures , let alone [the society of [the people one likes]_{1004-the people one likes}]_{1003-the society of the people one likes} . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’d be bored to death in a year ’s time . ” “_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i grant [you]_176-rodney [I]_0-i should be bored if [I]_0-i did nothing . But [I]_0-i should write plays . ” “_[0-i] H’m ! ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should write plays , ” [he]_176-rodney repeated . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve written three - quarters of one already , and [I]_0-i ’m only waiting for a holiday to finish it . And it ’s not bad — no , some of it ’s really rather nice . ” The question arose in [Denham]_131-denham ’s mind whether [he]_131-denham should ask to see this play , as , no doubt , [he]_131-denham was expected to do . [He]_131-denham looked rather stealthily at [Rodney]_176-rodney , who was tapping the coal nervously with a poker , and quivering almost physically , so [Denham]_131-denham thought , with desire to talk about this play of [his]_131-denham , and vanity unrequited and urgent . [He]_176-rodney seemed very much at [Denham]_131-denham ’s mercy , and [Denham]_131-denham could not help liking [him]_176-rodney , partly on that account . “_[176-rodney] Well , ... will [you]_176-rodney let [me]_0-i see the play ? ” [Denham]_131-denham asked , and [Rodney]_176-rodney looked immediately appeased , but , nevertheless , [he]_176-rodney sat silent for a moment , holding the poker perfectly upright in the air , regarding it with [his]_176-rodney rather prominent eyes , and opening [his]_176-rodney lips and shutting them again . “_[176-rodney] Do [you]_176-rodney really care for this kind of thing ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked at length , in a different tone of voice from that in which [he]_176-rodney had been speaking . And , without waiting for an answer , [he]_176-rodney went on , rather querulously : “_[176-rodney] [Very few people]_{1005-very few people} care for poetry . [I]_0-i dare say it bores [you]_176-rodney . ” “_[0-i] Perhaps , ” [Denham]_131-denham remarked . “_[0-i] Well , [I]_0-i ’ll lend it [you]_176-rodney , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney announced , putting down the poker . As [he]_176-rodney moved to fetch the play , [Denham]_131-denham stretched a hand to the bookcase beside [him]_176-rodney , and took down the first volume which [his]_131-denham fingers touched . It happened to be a small and very lovely edition of [Sir Thomas Browne]_{194-sir thomas browne} , containing the “_[0-i] Urn Burial , ” the “_[0-i] Hydriotaphia , ” and the “_[0-i] Garden of [Cyrus]_195-cyrus , ” and , opening it at a passage which [he]_131-denham knew very nearly by heart , [Denham]_131-denham began to read and , for some time , continued to read . [Rodney]_176-rodney resumed [his]_176-rodney seat , with [his]_176-rodney manuscript on [his]_176-rodney knee , and from time to time [he]_176-rodney glanced at [Denham]_131-denham , and then joined [his]_176-rodney finger - tips and crossed [his]_176-rodney thin legs over the fender , as if [he]_176-rodney experienced a good deal of pleasure . At length [Denham]_131-denham shut the book , and stood , with [his]_131-denham back to the fireplace , occasionally making an inarticulate humming sound which seemed to refer to [Sir Thomas Browne]_{194-sir thomas browne} . [He]_131-denham put [his]_131-denham hat on [his]_131-denham head , and stood over [Rodney]_176-rodney , who still lay stretched back in [his]_176-rodney chair , with [his]_176-rodney toes within the fender . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall look in again some time , ” [Denham]_131-denham remarked , upon which [Rodney]_176-rodney held up [his]_176-rodney hand , containing [his]_176-rodney manuscript , without saying anything except—“If_[0-i] [you]_0-i like . ” [Denham]_131-denham took the manuscript and went . Two days later [he]_176-rodney was much surprised to find a thin parcel on [his]_176-rodney breakfast - plate , which , on being opened , revealed the very copy of [Sir Thomas Browne]_{194-sir thomas browne} which [he]_176-rodney had studied so intently in [[Rodney]_176-rodney ’s rooms]_{3122-rodney ’s rooms} . From sheer laziness [he]_176-rodney returned no thanks , but [he]_176-rodney thought of [Rodney]_176-rodney from time to time with interest , disconnecting [him]_176-rodney from [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and meant to go round one evening and smoke a pipe with [him]_176-rodney . It pleased [Rodney]_176-rodney thus to give away whatever [[his]_176-rodney friends]_{953-his friends} genuinely admired . [[His]_176-rodney library]_{3142-his library} was constantly being diminished . Of all the hours of an ordinary working week - day , which are the pleasantest to look forward to and to look back upon ? If a single instance is of use in framing a theory , it may be said that the minutes between nine - twenty - five and nine - thirty in the morning had a singular charm for [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [She]_175-mary spent them in a very enviable frame of mind ; [her]_175-mary contentment was almost unalloyed . High in the air as [[her]_175-mary flat]_{3143-her flat} was , some beams from the morning sun reached [her]_175-mary even in November , striking straight at curtain , chair , and carpet , and painting there three bright , true spaces of green , blue , and purple , upon which the eye rested with a pleasure which gave physical warmth to the body . There were few mornings when [Mary]_175-mary did not look up , as [she]_175-mary bent to lace [her]_175-mary boots , and as [she]_175-mary followed the yellow rod from curtain to breakfast - table [she]_175-mary usually breathed some sigh of thankfulness that [her]_175-mary life provided [her]_175-mary with such moments of pure enjoyment . [She]_175-mary was robbing [no one]_{2921-no one} of anything , and yet , to get so much pleasure from simple things , such as eating one ’s breakfast alone in [a room which had nice colors in [it]_{3145-a room which had nice colors in it , clean from the skirting of the boards to the corners of the ceiling} , clean from the skirting of the boards to the corners of the ceiling]_{3145-a room which had nice colors in it , clean from the skirting of the boards to the corners of the ceiling} , seemed to suit [her]_175-mary so thoroughly that [she]_175-mary used at first to hunt about for [some one to apologize to , or for some flaw in the situation]_{3146-some one to apologize to , or for some flaw in the situation} . [She]_175-mary had now been six months in [London]_2-london , and [she]_175-mary could find no flaw , but that , as [she]_175-mary invariably concluded by the time [her]_175-mary boots were laced , was solely and entirely due to the fact that [she]_175-mary had [her]_175-mary work . Every day , as [she]_175-mary stood with [her]_175-mary dispatch - box in [her]_175-mary hand at the door of [[her]_175-mary flat]_{3143-her flat} , and gave one look back into [the room]_{379-the room} to see that everything was straight before [she]_175-mary left , [she]_175-mary said to [herself]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary was very glad that [she]_175-mary was going to leave it all , that to have sat [there]_2927-there all day long , in the enjoyment of leisure , would have been intolerable . Out in [the street]_{397-the street} [she]_175-mary liked to think [herself]_175-mary one of [the workers who , at this hour , take [their]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of [the city]_{3152-the city}]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} , with [their]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} heads slightly lowered , as if all [their]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} effort were to follow each other as closely as might be ; so that [Mary]_175-mary used to figure to [herself]_175-mary a straight rabbit - run worn by [their]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} unswerving feet upon [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} . But [she]_175-mary liked to pretend that [she]_175-mary was indistinguishable from the rest , and that when a wet day drove [her]_175-mary to [the Underground or omnibus]_{3154-the underground or omnibus} , [she]_175-mary gave and took [her]_175-mary share of [crowd]_3155-crowd and wet with [clerks]_3156-clerks and [typists]_3157-typists and [commercial men]_{3158-commercial men} , and shared with [them]_{3151-the workers who , at this hour , take their way in rapid single file along all the broad pavements of the city} the serious business of winding - up [the world]_{478-the world} to tick for another four - and - twenty hours . Thus thinking , on the particular morning in question , [she]_175-mary made [her]_175-mary away across [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} and up [Kingsway]_24-kingsway , and so through [Southampton Row]_{25-southampton row} until [she]_175-mary reached [[her]_175-mary office in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square}]_{3160-her office in russell square} . Now and then [she]_175-mary would pause and look into the window of [some bookseller or [flower shop]_{3162-flower shop}]_{3161-some bookseller or flower shop} , where , at this early hour , the goods were being arranged , and empty gaps behind the plate glass revealed a state of undress . [Mary]_175-mary felt kindly disposed towards [the shopkeepers]_{3163-the shopkeepers} , and hoped that [they]_{3163-the shopkeepers} would trick [the midday public]_{3164-the midday public} into purchasing , for at this hour of the morning [she]_175-mary ranged [herself]_175-mary entirely on the side of [the shopkeepers]_{3163-the shopkeepers} and [bank clerks]_{3166-bank clerks} , and regarded all who slept late and had money to spend as [her]_175-mary enemy and natural prey . And directly [she]_175-mary had crossed [the road]_{941-the road} at [Holborn]_27-holborn , [her]_175-mary thoughts all came naturally and regularly to roost upon [her]_175-mary work , and [she]_175-mary forgot that [she]_175-mary was , properly speaking , [an amateur worker]_{3168-an amateur worker} , whose services were unpaid , and could hardly be said to wind [the world]_{478-the world} up for its daily task , since [the world]_{478-the world} , so far , had shown very little desire to take the boons which [[Mary]_175-mary ’s society for [woman]_3172-woman ’s suffrage]_{3171-mary ’s society for woman ’s suffrage} had offered it . [She]_175-mary was thinking all the way up [Southampton Row]_{25-southampton row} of notepaper and foolscap , and how an economy in the use of paper might be effected ( without , of course , hurting [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s feelings ) , for [she]_175-mary was certain that [the great organizers]_{3173-the great organizers} always pounce , to begin with , upon trifles like these , and build up [their]_{3173-the great organizers} triumphant reforms upon a basis of absolute solidity ; and , without acknowledging it for a moment , [Mary Datchet]_175-mary was determined to be [a great organizer]_{3174-a great organizer} , and had already doomed [[her]_175-mary society]_{3175-her society} to reconstruction of the most radical kind . Once or twice lately , it is true , [she]_175-mary had started , broad awake , before turning into [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} , and denounced [herself]_175-mary rather sharply for being already in a groove , capable , that is , of thinking the same thoughts every morning at the same hour , so that the chestnut - colored brick of [the Russell Square houses]_{3176-the russell square houses} had some curious connection with [her]_175-mary thoughts about office economy , and served also as a sign that [she]_175-mary should get into trim for meeting [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , or [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , or whoever might be beforehand with [her]_175-mary at [the office]_{3177-the office} . Having no religious belief , [she]_175-mary was the more conscientious about [her]_175-mary life , examining [her]_175-mary position from time to time very seriously , and nothing annoyed [her]_175-mary more than to find one of these bad habits nibbling away unheeded at the precious substance . What was the good , after all , of being [a woman]_{3107-a woman} if [one]_422-one did n’t keep fresh , and cram [one]_422-one ’s life with all sorts of views and experiments ? Thus [she]_175-mary always gave [herself]_175-mary a little shake , as [she]_175-mary turned the corner , and , as often as not , reached [her]_175-mary own door whistling a snatch of a Somersetshire ballad . [The suffrage office]_{3181-the suffrage office} was at the top of one of [the large Russell Square houses]_{3182-the large russell square houses} , which had once been lived in by [a great city merchant]_{3183-a great city merchant} and [[his]_{3183-a great city merchant} family]_{547-his family} , and was now let out in slices to a number of societies which displayed assorted initials upon doors of ground glass , and kept , each of [them]_{3182-the large russell square houses} , a typewriter which clicked busily all day long . [The old house]_{3185-the old house} , with [its]_{3185-the old house} great stone staircase , echoed hollowly to the sound of typewriters and of [errand - boys]_{3186-errand - boys} from ten to six . The noise of different typewriters already at work , disseminating [their]_{3182-the large russell square houses} views upon the protection of [native races]_{3187-native races} , or the value of cereals as foodstuffs , quickened [Mary]_175-mary ’s steps , and [she]_175-mary always ran up the last flight of steps which led to [her]_175-mary own landing , at whatever hour [she]_175-mary came , so as to get [her]_175-mary typewriter to take its place in competition with the rest . [She]_175-mary sat [herself]_175-mary down to [her]_175-mary letters , and very soon all these speculations were forgotten , and the two lines drew themselves between [her]_175-mary eyebrows , as the contents of the letters , the office furniture , and the sounds of activity in [the next room]_{472-the next room} gradually asserted their sway upon [her]_175-mary . By eleven o’clock the atmosphere of concentration was running so strongly in one direction that any thought of a different order could hardly have survived its birth more than a moment or so . The task which lay before [her]_175-mary was to organize a series of entertainments , the profits of which were to benefit [the society , which drooped for want of funds]_{3189-the society , which drooped for want of funds} . It was [her]_175-mary first attempt at organization on a large scale , and [she]_175-mary meant to achieve something remarkable . [She]_175-mary meant to use the cumbrous machine to pick out this , that , and [the other interesting person from the muddle of [the world]_{478-the world}]_{3190-the other interesting person from the muddle of the world} , and to set them for a week in a pattern which must catch the eyes of [Cabinet Ministers]_{198-cabinet ministers} , and the eyes once caught , the old arguments were to be delivered with unexampled originality . Such was the scheme as a whole ; and in contemplation of it [she]_175-mary would become quite flushed and excited , and have to remind [herself]_175-mary of all the details that intervened between [her]_175-mary and success . The door would open , and [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} would come in to search for a certain leaflet buried beneath a pyramid of leaflets . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} was [a thin , sandy - haired man of about thirty - five]_{3192-a thin , sandy - haired man of about thirty - five} , spoke with a Cockney accent , and had about [him]_{197-mr. clacton} a frugal look , as if nature had not dealt generously with [him]_{197-mr. clacton} in any way , which , naturally , prevented [him]_{197-mr. clacton} from dealing generously with [other people]_{2964-other people} . When [he]_{197-mr. clacton} had found [his]_{197-mr. clacton} leaflet , and offered a few jocular hints upon keeping papers in order , the typewriting would stop abruptly , and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} would burst into [the room]_{379-the room} with a letter which needed explanation in [her]_{196-mrs. seal} hand . This was a more serious interruption than the other , because [she]_175-mary never knew exactly what [she]_175-mary wanted , and half a dozen requests would bolt from [her]_175-mary , no one of which was clearly stated . Dressed in plum - colored velveteen , with short , gray hair , and a face that seemed permanently flushed with philanthropic enthusiasm , [she]_175-mary was always in a hurry , and always in some disorder . [She]_175-mary wore two crucifixes , which got themselves entangled in a heavy gold chain upon [her]_175-mary breast , and seemed to [Mary]_175-mary expressive of [her]_175-mary mental ambiguity . Only [her]_175-mary vast enthusiasm and [her]_175-mary worship of [Miss Markham]_{199-miss markham} , [one of the pioneers of the society]_{3195-one of the pioneers of the society} , kept [her]_175-mary in [her]_175-mary place , for which [she]_175-mary had no sound qualification . So the morning wore on , and the pile of letters grew , and [Mary]_175-mary felt , at last , that [she]_175-mary was the center ganglion of a very fine network of nerves which fell over [England]_5-england , and one of these days , when [she]_175-mary touched the heart of the system , would begin feeling and rushing together and emitting their splendid blaze of revolutionary fireworks — for some such metaphor represents what [she]_175-mary felt about [her]_175-mary work , when [her]_175-mary brain had been heated by three hours of application . Shortly before one o’clock [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} desisted from [their]_3196-their labors , and the old joke about luncheon , which came out regularly at this hour , was repeated with scarcely any variation of words . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} patronized [a vegetarian restaurant]_{3197-a vegetarian restaurant} ; [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} brought sandwiches , which [she]_{196-mrs. seal} ate beneath [the plane - trees in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square}]_{3198-the plane - trees in russell square} ; while [Mary]_175-mary generally went to [a gaudy establishment]_{3199-a gaudy establishment} , upholstered in red plush , near by , where , much to [the vegetarian]_{3200-the vegetarian} ’s disapproval , [you]_200-sally could buy steak , two inches thick , or a roast section of fowl , swimming in a pewter dish . “_[0-i] The bare branches against the sky do one so much good , ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} asserted , looking out into [the Square]_{3201-the square} . “_[0-i] But one ca n’t lunch off trees , [Sally]_200-sally , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[200-sally] [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i do n’t know how [you]_200-sally manage it , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , ” [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} remarked . “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i should sleep all the afternoon , [I]_0-i know , if [I]_0-i took a heavy meal in the middle of the day . ” “_[0-i] What ’s the very latest thing in literature ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked , good - humoredly pointing to the yellow - covered volume beneath [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s arm , for [he]_{197-mr. clacton} invariably read [some new French author]_{3202-some new french author} at lunch - time , or squeezed in a visit to [a picture gallery]_{3203-a picture gallery} , balancing [his]_{197-mr. clacton} social work with an ardent culture of which [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was secretly proud , as [Mary]_175-mary had very soon divined . So [they]_3204-they parted and [Mary]_175-mary walked away , wondering if [they]_3204-they guessed that [she]_175-mary really wanted to get away from [them]_3204-they , and supposing that [they]_3204-they had not quite reached that degree of subtlety . [She]_175-mary bought [herself]_175-mary an evening paper , which [she]_175-mary read as [she]_175-mary ate , looking over the top of it again and again at [the queer people who were buying cakes or imparting [their]_{3205-the queer people who were buying cakes or imparting their secrets} secrets]_{3205-the queer people who were buying cakes or imparting their secrets} , until [some young woman whom [she]_175-mary knew]_{3206-some young woman whom she knew} came in , and [she]_0-i called out , “_{[201-aunt eleanor]} [Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} , come and sit by [me]_0-i , ” and [they]_3204-they finished [their]_3204-they lunch together , parting on the strip of [pavement among the different lines of traffic]_{3207-pavement among the different lines of traffic} with a pleasant feeling that [they]_3204-they were stepping once more into [their]_3204-they separate places in the great and eternally moving pattern of human life . But , instead of going straight back to [the office]_{3177-the office} to - day , [Mary]_175-mary turned into [the British Museum]_{3209-the british museum} , and strolled down [the gallery]_{3210-the gallery} with the shapes of stone until [she]_175-mary found an empty seat directly beneath the gaze of the Elgin marbles . [She]_175-mary looked at [them]_3211-them , and seemed , as usual , borne up on some wave of exaltation and emotion , by which [her]_175-mary life at once became solemn and beautiful — an impression which was due as much , perhaps , to the solitude and chill and silence of [the gallery]_{3210-the gallery} as to the actual beauty of the statues . [One]_422-one must suppose , at least , that [her]_175-mary emotions were not purely esthetic , because , after [she]_175-mary had gazed at [the Ulysses]_{28-the ulysses} for a minute or two , [she]_175-mary began to think about [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . So secure did [she]_175-mary feel with these silent shapes that [she]_175-mary almost yielded to an impulse to say “_{[201-aunt eleanor]} [I]_0-i am in love with [you]_1006-you ” aloud . The presence of this immense and enduring beauty made [her]_175-mary almost alarmingly conscious of [her]_175-mary desire , and at the same time proud of a feeling which did not display anything like the same proportions when [she]_175-mary was going about [her]_175-mary daily work . [She]_175-mary repressed [her]_175-mary impulse to speak aloud , and rose and wandered about rather aimlessly among the statues until [she]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary in [another gallery devoted to engraved obelisks and winged Assyrian bulls]_{3214-another gallery devoted to engraved obelisks and winged assyrian bulls} , and [her]_175-mary emotion took another turn . [She]_175-mary began to picture [herself]_175-mary traveling with [Ralph]_154-ralph in [a land where these monsters were couchant in the sand]_{3215-a land where these monsters were couchant in the sand} . “_{[201-aunt eleanor]} For , ” [she]_175-mary thought to [herself]_175-mary , as [she]_175-mary gazed fixedly at some information printed behind a piece of glass , “_{[201-aunt eleanor]} the wonderful thing about [you]_1006-you is that [you]_1006-you ’re ready for anything ; [you]_1006-you ’re not in the least conventional , like [most clever men]_{1007-most clever men} . ” And [she]_175-mary conjured up a scene of [herself]_175-mary on a camel ’s back , in [the desert]_{3216-the desert} , while [Ralph]_154-ralph commanded [a whole tribe of natives]_{3217-a whole tribe of natives} . “_[1006-you] That is what [you]_1006-you can do , ” [she]_175-mary went on , moving on to the next statue . “_[1006-you] [You]_1006-you always make [people]_383-people do what [you]_1006-you want . ” A glow spread over [her]_175-mary spirit , and filled [her]_175-mary eyes with brightness . Nevertheless , before [she]_175-mary left [the Museum]_{3218-the museum} [she]_175-mary was very far from saying , even in the privacy of [her]_175-mary own mind , “_[1006-you] [I]_0-i am in love with [you]_1006-you , ” and that sentence might very well never have framed itself . [She]_175-mary was , indeed , rather annoyed with [herself]_175-mary for having allowed such an ill - considered breach of [her]_175-mary reserve , weakening [her]_175-mary powers of resistance , [she]_175-mary felt , should this impulse return again . For , as [she]_175-mary walked along [the street]_{397-the street} to [[her]_175-mary office]_{3220-her office} , the force of all [her]_175-mary customary objections to being in love with [any one]_{2939-any one} overcame [her]_175-mary . [She]_175-mary did not want to marry at all . It seemed to [her]_175-mary that there was something amateurish in bringing love into touch with a perfectly straightforward friendship , such as [hers]_175-mary was with [Ralph]_154-ralph , which , for two years now , had based itself upon common interests in impersonal topics , such as the housing of [the poor]_{3222-the poor} , or the taxation of land values . But the afternoon spirit differed intrinsically from the morning spirit . [Mary]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary watching the flight of a bird , or making drawings of the branches of the plane - trees upon [her]_175-mary blotting - paper . [People]_383-people came in to see [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} on business , and a seductive smell of cigarette smoke issued from [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} room]_{521-his room} . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} wandered about with newspaper cuttings , which seemed to [her]_{196-mrs. seal} either “_[0-i] quite splendid ” or “_[1006-you] really too bad for words . ” [She]_{196-mrs. seal} used to paste these into books , or send them to [[her]_{196-mrs. seal} friends]_{3225-her friends} , having first drawn a broad bar in blue pencil down the margin , a proceeding which signified equally and indistinguishably the depths of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} reprobation or the heights of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} approval . About four o’clock on that same afternoon [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} was walking up [Kingsway]_24-kingsway . The question of tea presented itself . The street lamps were being lit already , and as [she]_{129-katharine} stood still for a moment beneath one of them , [she]_{129-katharine} tried to think of [some neighboring drawing - room]_{3226-some neighboring drawing - room} where there would be firelight and talk congenial to [her]_{129-katharine} mood . That mood , owing to the spinning traffic and the evening veil of unreality , was ill - adapted to [[her]_{129-katharine} home surroundings]_{3227-her home surroundings} . Perhaps , on the whole , [a shop]_{603-a shop} was the best place in which to preserve this queer sense of heightened existence . At the same time [she]_{129-katharine} wished to talk . Remembering [Mary Datchet]_175-mary and [her]_175-mary repeated invitations , [she]_{129-katharine} crossed [the road]_{941-the road} , turned into [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} , and peered about , seeking for numbers with a sense of adventure that was out of all proportion to the deed itself . [She]_{129-katharine} found [herself]_{129-katharine} in [a dimly lighted hall]_{3230-a dimly lighted hall} , unguarded by [a porter]_{3231-a porter} , and pushed open the first swing door . But [the office - boy]_{3232-the office - boy} had never heard of [Miss Datchet]_175-mary . Did [she]_175-mary belong to [the S.R.F.R.]_{29-the s.r.f.r.} ? [Katharine]_{129-katharine} shook [her]_{129-katharine} head with a smile of dismay . A voice from within shouted , “_[1006-you] No . The S.G.S.—top floor . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} mounted past innumerable glass doors , with initials on them , and became steadily more and more doubtful of the wisdom of [her]_{129-katharine} venture . At the top [she]_{129-katharine} paused for a moment to breathe and collect [herself]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} heard the typewriter and formal professional voices inside , not belonging , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , to [any one [she]_{129-katharine} had ever spoken to]_{3233-any one she had ever spoken to} . [She]_{129-katharine} touched the bell , and the door was opened almost immediately by [Mary]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary . [Her]_175-mary face had to change its expression entirely when [she]_175-mary saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[1009-you] [You]_1009-you ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[1009-you] [We]_1010-we thought [you]_1009-you were [the printer]_{1011-the printer} . ” Still holding the door open , [she]_{129-katharine} called back , “_[1009-you] No , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , it ’s not [Penningtons]_{30-penningtons} . [I]_0-i should ring them up again — double three double eight , Central . Well , this is a surprise . Come in , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added . “_[1009-you] [You]_1009-you ’re just in time for tea . ” The light of relief shone in [Mary]_175-mary ’s eyes . The boredom of the afternoon was dissipated at once , and [she]_175-mary was glad that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had found them in a momentary press of activity , owing to the failure of [the printer]_{1011-the printer} to send back certain proofs . The unshaded electric light shining upon the table covered with papers dazed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} for a moment . After the confusion of [her]_{129-katharine} twilight walk , and [her]_{129-katharine} random thoughts , life in [this small room]_{3235-this small room} appeared extremely concentrated and bright . [She]_{129-katharine} turned instinctively to look out of the window , which was uncurtained , but [Mary]_175-mary immediately recalled [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[1009-you] It was very clever of [you]_1009-you to find [your]_1009-you way , ” [she]_175-mary said , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} wondered , as [she]_{129-katharine} stood there , feeling , for the moment , entirely detached and unabsorbed , why [she]_{129-katharine} had come . [She]_{129-katharine} looked , indeed , to [Mary]_175-mary ’s eyes strangely out of place in [the office]_{3177-the office} . [Her]_175-mary figure in the long cloak , which took deep folds , and [her]_175-mary face , which was composed into a mask of sensitive apprehension , disturbed [Mary]_175-mary for a moment with a sense of the presence of [some one who was of [another world]_{3238-another world} , and , therefore , subversive of [her]_175-mary world]_{3237-some one who was of another world , and , therefore , subversive of her world} . [She]_175-mary became immediately anxious that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} should be impressed by the importance of [[her]_{129-katharine} world]_{3239-her world} , and hoped that neither [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} nor [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} would appear until the impression of importance had been received . But in this [she]_{129-katharine} was disappointed . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} burst into [the room]_{379-the room} holding a kettle in [her]_{196-mrs. seal} hand , which [she]_{196-mrs. seal} set upon the stove , and then , with inefficient haste , [she]_{196-mrs. seal} set light to the gas , which flared up , exploded , and went out . “_[1009-you] Always the way , always the way , ” [she]_{196-mrs. seal} muttered . “_[1009-you] [Kit Markham]_{202-christopher} is [the only person who knows how to deal with the thing]_{1012-the only person who knows how to deal with the thing} . ” [Mary]_175-mary had to go to [her]_175-mary help , and together [they]_1013-we spread the table , and apologized for the disparity between the cups and the plainness of the food . “_{[202-christopher]} If [we]_1013-we had known [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} was coming , [we]_1013-we should have bought a cake , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , upon which [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} looked at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} for the first time , suspiciously , because [she]_{129-katharine} was [a person who needed cake]_{3241-a person who needed cake} . Here [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} opened the door , and came in , holding a typewritten letter in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} hand , which [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was reading aloud . “_[1013-we] [Salford]_31-salford ’s affiliated , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said . “_[1013-we] Well done , [Salford]_31-salford ! ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} exclaimed enthusiastically , thumping the teapot which [she]_{196-mrs. seal} held upon the table , in token of applause . “_[1013-we] Yes , [these provincial centers]_{1014-these provincial centers} seem to be coming into line at last , ” said [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , and then [Mary]_175-mary introduced [him]_{197-mr. clacton} to [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , and [he]_{197-mr. clacton} asked [her]_{129-katharine} , in a very formal manner , if [she]_{129-katharine} were interested “_[1013-we] in [our]_1015-we work . ” “_[1013-we] And the proofs still not come ? ” said [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , putting both [her]_{196-mrs. seal} elbows on the table , and propping [her]_{196-mrs. seal} chin on [her]_{196-mrs. seal} hands , as [Mary]_175-mary began to pour out tea . “_[1013-we] It ’s too bad — too bad . At this rate [we]_1015-we shall miss the country post . Which reminds [me]_0-i , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , do n’t [you]_{197-mr. clacton} think [we]_1015-we should circularize [the provinces]_{1016-the provinces} with [Partridge]_{203-partridge} ’s last speech ? What ? [You]_{197-mr. clacton} ’ve not read it ? Oh , it ’s the best thing [they]_1017-they ’ve had in [the House]_{377-the house} this Session . Even [the Prime Minister]_{1019-the prime minister} — ” But [Mary]_175-mary cut [her]_200-sally short . “_{[1019-the prime minister]} [We]_1015-we do n’t allow shop at tea , [Sally]_200-sally , ” [she]_175-mary said firmly . “_[1015-we] [We]_1015-we fine [her]_1020-her a penny each time [she]_1020-her forgets , and the fines go to buying a plum cake , ” [she]_0-i explained , seeking to draw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} into [the community]_{3242-the community} . [She]_0-i had given up all hope of impressing [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m sorry , [I]_0-i ’m sorry , ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} apologized . “_[0-i] It ’s [my]_0-i misfortune to be [an enthusiast]_{1021-an enthusiast} , ” [she]_0-i said , turning to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[1021-an enthusiast]} [[My]_0-i father ’s daughter]_{1022-my father ’s daughter} could hardly be anything else . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i ’ve been on as many committees as [most people]_{3005-most people} . [Waifs and Strays]_{1024-waifs and strays} , Rescue Work , [Church Work]_{1025-church work} , [C. O. S.—local branch]_{1026-c. o. s.—local branch} — besides the usual civic duties which fall to [one as a householder]_{1027-one as a householder} . But [I]_0-i ’ve given [them]_1028-them all up for [our]_1029-our work here , and [I]_0-i do n’t regret it for a second , ” [she]_0-i added . “_[0-i] This is the root question , [I]_0-i feel ; until [women]_557-women have votes — ” “_[557-women] It ’ll be sixpence , at least , [Sally]_200-sally , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , bringing [her]_175-mary fist down on the table . “_[200-sally] And [we]_1029-our ’re all sick to death of [women]_557-women and [their]_557-women votes . ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} looked for a moment as though [she]_{196-mrs. seal} could hardly believe [her]_{196-mrs. seal} ears , and made a deprecating “_[557-women] tut - tut - tut ” in [her]_{196-mrs. seal} throat , looking alternately at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Mary]_175-mary , and shaking [her]_{196-mrs. seal} head as [she]_{196-mrs. seal} did so . Then [she]_{196-mrs. seal} remarked , rather confidentially to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with a little nod in [Mary]_175-mary ’s direction : “_[1032-she] [She]_1032-she ’s doing more for the cause than [any of [us]_1029-our]_{1033-any of us} . [She]_1032-she ’s giving [her]_1032-she youth — for , alas ! when [I]_0-i was young there were domestic circumstances — ” [she]_{196-mrs. seal} sighed , and stopped short . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} hastily reverted to the joke about luncheon , and explained how [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} fed on a bag of biscuits under the trees , whatever the weather might be , rather , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought , as though [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} were a pet dog who had convenient tricks . “_[1032-she] Yes , [I]_0-i took [my]_0-i little bag into [the square]_{3201-the square} , ” said [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , with the self - conscious guilt of [a child]_{541-a child} owning some fault to [[its]_{541-a child} elders]_{3244-its elders} . “_[0-i] It was really very sustaining , and the bare boughs against the sky do one so much good . But [I]_0-i shall have to give up going into [the square]_{3201-the square} , ” [she]_0-i proceeded , wrinkling [her]_0-i forehead . “_[0-i] The injustice of it ! Why should [I]_0-i have [a beautiful square]_{1036-a beautiful square} all to [myself]_0-i , when [poor women who need rest]_{1037-poor women who need rest} have nowhere at all to sit ? ” [She]_0-i looked fiercely at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , giving [her]_{129-katharine} short locks a little shake . “_{[1038-a tyrant one]} It ’s dreadful what [a tyrant one]_{1038-a tyrant one} still is , in spite of all [one]_422-one ’s efforts . One tries to lead a decent life , but one ca n’t . Of course , directly [one]_422-one thinks of it , one sees that all squares should be open to [everyone]_{1041-everyone} . Is there [any society with that object]_{1042-any society with that object} , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ? If not , there should be , surely . ” “_{[1043-a most excellent object]} [A most excellent object]_{1043-a most excellent object} , ” said [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} professional manner . “_{[1043-a most excellent object]} At the same time , one must deplore the ramification of organizations , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} . So much excellent effort thrown away , not to speak of pounds , shillings , and pence . Now how many organizations of a philanthropic nature do [you]_{196-mrs. seal} suppose there are in [the City of [London]_2-london itself]_{1044-the city of london itself} , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ? ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} added , screwing [his]_{197-mr. clacton} mouth into a queer little smile , as if to show that the question had its frivolous side . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} smiled , too . [Her]_{129-katharine} unlikeness to [the rest of [them]_{3245-the rest of them}]_{3245-the rest of them} had , by this time , penetrated to [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , who was not naturally observant , and [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was wondering who [she]_{129-katharine} was ; this same unlikeness had subtly stimulated [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} to try and make a convert of [her]_{129-katharine} . [Mary]_175-mary , too , looked at [her]_{129-katharine} almost as if [she]_{129-katharine} begged [her]_{129-katharine} to make things easy . For [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had shown no disposition to make things easy . [She]_{129-katharine} had scarcely spoken , and [her]_{129-katharine} silence , though grave and even thoughtful , seemed to [Mary]_175-mary the silence of one who criticizes . “_{[129-katharine]} Well , there are more in [this house]_{1045-this house} than [I]_0-i ’d any notion of , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] On [the ground floor]_{617-the ground floor} [you]_1047-you protect [natives]_1048-natives , on the next [you]_1047-you emigrate [women]_557-women and tell [people]_383-people to eat nuts — ” “_[1047-you] Why do [you]_1047-you say that ‘ [we]_1051-we ’ do these things ? ” [Mary]_175-mary interposed , rather sharply . “_[1047-you] [We]_1051-we ’re not responsible for [all the cranks who choose to lodge in [the same house]_{1053-the same house} with [us]_1051-we]_{1052-all the cranks who choose to lodge in the same house with us} . ” [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} cleared [his]_{197-mr. clacton} throat and looked at each of [the young ladies]_{3246-the young ladies} in turn . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} was a good deal struck by the appearance and manner of [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , which seemed to [him]_{197-mr. clacton} to place [her]_{129-katharine} among [those cultivated and luxurious people of whom [he]_{197-mr. clacton} used to dream]_{3247-those cultivated and luxurious people of whom he used to dream} . [Mary]_175-mary , on the other hand , was more of [his]_{197-mr. clacton} own sort , and a little too much inclined to order [him]_{197-mr. clacton} about . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} picked up crumbs of dry biscuit and put them into [his]_{197-mr. clacton} mouth with incredible rapidity . “_[1054-you] [You]_1054-you do n’t belong to [our]_1051-we society , then ? ” said [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} . “_[1054-you] No , [I]_0-i ’m afraid [I]_0-i do n’t , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with such ready candor that [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} was nonplussed , and stared at [her]_{129-katharine} with a puzzled expression , as if [she]_{196-mrs. seal} could not classify [her]_{129-katharine} among [the varieties of human beings known to [her]_{129-katharine}]_{3248-the varieties of human beings known to her} . “_[0-i] But surely , ” [she]_{129-katharine} began . “_{[196-mrs. seal]} [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} is [an enthusiast in these matters]_{1055-an enthusiast in these matters} , ” said [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , almost apologetically . “_{[196-mrs. seal]} [We]_1051-we have to remind [her]_{196-mrs. seal} sometimes that [others]_1056-others have a right to [their]_1056-others views even if [they]_1056-others differ from [our]_1051-we own .... “ Punch ”_{[1057-a suffragist]} has a very funny picture this week , about [a Suffragist]_{1057-a suffragist} and [an agricultural laborer]_{1058-an agricultural laborer} . Have [you]_1059-you seen this week ’s “ Punch , ”_[175-mary] [Miss Datchet]_175-mary ? ” [Mary]_175-mary laughed , and said “_[175-mary] No . ” [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} then told [them]_1060-them the substance of the joke , which , however , depended a good deal for its success upon the expression which [the artist]_{3249-the artist} had put into [the people]_{3250-the people} ’s faces . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} sat all the time perfectly grave . Directly [he]_{197-mr. clacton} had done speaking [she]_0-i burst out : “_[175-mary] But surely , if [you]_1059-you care about the welfare of [your]_1059-you sex at all , [you]_1059-you must wish [them]_1060-them to have the vote ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i never said [I]_0-i did n’t wish [them]_1060-them to have the vote , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} protested . “_[0-i] Then why are n’t [you]_0-i [a member of [[our]_1062-our society]_{1063-our society}]_{1061-a member of our society} ? ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} demanded . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stirred [her]_{129-katharine} spoon round and round , stared into the swirl of the tea , and remained silent . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , meanwhile , framed a question which , after a moment ’s hesitation , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} put to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Are [you]_0-i in any way related , [I]_0-i wonder , to [the poet Alardyce]_{1064-the poet alardyce} ? [[His]_{1064-the poet alardyce} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} , [I]_0-i believe , married [a Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} . ” “_{[134-mr. hilbery]} Yes ; [I]_0-i ’m [[the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s granddaughter]_{1067-the poet ’s granddaughter} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with a little sigh , after a pause ; and for a moment [they]_3251-they were all silent . “_{[661-the poet]} [[The poet]_{661-the poet} ’s granddaughter]_{1067-the poet ’s granddaughter} ! ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} repeated , half to [herself]_{196-mrs. seal} , with a shake of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} head , as if that explained what was otherwise inexplicable . The light kindled in [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s eye . “_{[1067-the poet ’s granddaughter]} Ah , indeed . That interests [me]_0-i very much , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i owe a great debt to [[your]_0-i grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . At one time [I]_0-i could have repeated the greater part of [him]_{2954-your grandfather} by heart . But one gets out of the way of reading poetry , unfortunately . [You]_0-i do n’t remember [him]_{2954-your grandfather} , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” A sharp rap at the door made [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s answer inaudible . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} looked up with renewed hope in [her]_{196-mrs. seal} eyes , and exclaiming : “_{[2954-your grandfather]} The proofs at last ! ” ran to open the door . “_{[2954-your grandfather]} Oh , it ’s only [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ! ” [she]_{196-mrs. seal} cried , without any attempt to conceal [her]_{196-mrs. seal} disappointment . [Ralph]_154-ralph , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} supposed , was [a frequent visitor]_{3252-a frequent visitor} , for [the only person [he]_154-ralph thought it necessary to greet]_{3253-the only person he thought it necessary to greet} was [herself]_{3253-the only person he thought it necessary to greet} , and [Mary]_175-mary at once explained the strange fact of [her]_{3253-the only person he thought it necessary to greet} being [there]_2927-there by saying : “_[131-denham] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has come to see how one runs [an office]_{2994-an office} . ” [Ralph]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph stiffen uncomfortably , as [he]_154-ralph said : “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i hope [Mary]_175-mary has n’t persuaded [you]_{129-katharine} that [she]_175-mary knows how to run [an office]_{2994-an office} ? ” “_[175-mary] What , does n’t [she]_175-mary ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , looking from one to the other . At these remarks [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} began to exhibit signs of discomposure , which displayed [themselves]_{3255-themselves} by a tossing movement of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} head , and , as [Ralph]_154-ralph took a letter from [his]_154-ralph pocket , and placed [his]_154-ralph finger upon a certain sentence , [she]_{196-mrs. seal} forestalled [him]_154-ralph by exclaiming in confusion : “_[175-mary] Now , [I]_0-i know what [you]_1073-you ’re going to say , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ! But it was the day [Kit Markham]_{202-christopher} was [here]_2985-here , and [she]_0-i upsets [one]_422-one so — with [her]_0-i wonderful vitality , always thinking of something new that [we]_1076-we ought to be doing and aren’t — and [I]_0-i was conscious at the time that [my]_0-i dates were mixed . It had nothing to do with [Mary]_175-mary at all , [I]_0-i assure [you]_175-mary . ” “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear [Sally]_200-sally]_{1077-my dear sally} , do n’t apologize , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , laughing . “_[200-sally] [Men]_719-men are [such pedants]_{1079-such pedants} — [they]_719-men do n’t know what things matter , and what things do n’t . ” “_[719-men] Now , [Denham]_154-ralph , speak up for [our]_1076-we sex , ” said [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} in a jocular manner , indeed , but like [most insignificant men]_{3256-most insignificant men} [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was very quick to resent being found fault with by [a woman]_{3107-a woman} , in argument with whom [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was fond of calling [himself]_{197-mr. clacton} “_{[1080-a mere man]} [a mere man]_{1080-a mere man} . ” [He]_{197-mr. clacton} wished , however , to enter into a literary conservation with [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , and thus let the matter drop . “_{[1080-a mere man]} Does n’t it seem strange to [you]_175-mary , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said , “_{[1080-a mere man]} that [the French]_{1081-the french} , with all [their]_{1081-the french} wealth of illustrious names , have [no poet]_{1082-no poet} who can compare with [[your]_175-mary grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} ? Let [me]_0-i see . There ’s [Chenier]_204-chenier and [Hugo]_205-hugo and [Alfred de Musset]_206-alfred — [wonderful men]_{1084-wonderful men} , but , at the same time , there ’s a richness , a freshness about [Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} — ” Here the telephone bell rang , and [he]_{197-mr. clacton} had to absent [himself]_{197-mr. clacton} with a smile and a bow which signified that , although literature is delightful , it is not work . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} rose at the same time , but remained hovering over the table , delivering [herself]_{196-mrs. seal} of a tirade against [party government]_{3258-party government} . “_{[139-richard alardyce]} For if [I]_0-i were to tell [you]_175-mary what [I]_0-i know of back - stairs intrigue , and what can be done by the power of the purse , [you]_175-mary would n’t credit [me]_0-i , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , [you]_175-mary would n’t , indeed . Which is why [I]_0-i feel that the only work for [[my]_0-i father ’s daughter]_{1022-my father ’s daughter} — for [he]_131-denham was one of [the pioneers]_{1086-the pioneers} , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , and on [his]_131-denham tombstone [I]_0-i had that verse from the Psalms put , about the sowers and the seed .... And what would n’t [I]_0-i give that [he]_131-denham should be alive now , seeing what [we]_1087-we ’re going to see — ” but reflecting that the glories of the future depended in part upon the activity of [her]_0-i typewriter , [she]_0-i bobbed [her]_0-i head , and hurried back to the seclusion of [[her]_0-i little room]_{3259-her little room} , from which immediately issued sounds of enthusiastic , but obviously erratic , composition . [Mary]_175-mary made it clear at once , by starting a fresh topic of general interest , that though [she]_175-mary saw the humor of [[her]_175-mary colleague]_{3260-her colleague} , [she]_175-mary did not intend to have [her]_{3260-her colleague} laughed at . “_[0-i] The standard of morality seems to [me]_0-i frightfully low , ” [she]_0-i observed reflectively , pouring out a second cup of tea , “_[0-i] especially among [women who are n’t well educated]_{1088-women who are n’t well educated} . [They]_{1088-women who are n’t well educated} do n’t see that small things matter , and that ’s where the leakage begins , and then [we]_1087-we find [ourselves]_1087-we in difficulties — [I]_0-i very nearly lost [my]_0-i temper yesterday , ” [she]_0-i went on , looking at [Ralph]_154-ralph with a little smile , as though [he]_154-ralph knew what happened when [she]_0-i lost [her]_0-i temper . “_[0-i] It makes [me]_0-i very angry when [people]_383-people tell [me]_0-i lies — doesn’t it make [you]_0-i angry ? ” [she]_0-i asked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] But considering that [every one]_{3109-every one} tells lies , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked , looking about [the room]_{379-the room} to see where [she]_{129-katharine} had put down [her]_{129-katharine} umbrella and [her]_{129-katharine} parcel , for there was an intimacy in the way in which [Mary]_175-mary and [Ralph]_154-ralph addressed [each other]_{451-each other} which made [her]_{129-katharine} wish to leave [them]_3263-them . [Mary]_175-mary , on the other hand , was anxious , superficially at least , that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} should stay and so fortify [her]_175-mary in [her]_175-mary determination not to be in love with [Ralph]_154-ralph . [Ralph]_154-ralph , while lifting [his]_154-ralph cup from [his]_154-ralph lips to the table , had made up [his]_154-ralph mind that if [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} left , [he]_154-ralph would go with [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t think that [I]_0-i tell lies , and [I]_0-i do n’t think that [Ralph]_154-ralph tells lies , do [you]_154-ralph , [Ralph]_154-ralph ? ” [Mary]_175-mary continued . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} laughed , with more gayety , as it seemed to [Mary]_175-mary , than [she]_{129-katharine} could properly account for . What was [she]_{129-katharine} laughing at ? At [them]_3264-them , presumably . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had risen , and was glancing hither and thither , at the presses and the cupboards , and all the machinery of [the office]_{3177-the office} , as if [she]_{129-katharine} included them all in [her]_{129-katharine} rather malicious amusement , which caused [Mary]_175-mary to keep [her]_175-mary eyes on [her]_{129-katharine} straightly and rather fiercely , as if [she]_{129-katharine} were a gay - plumed , mischievous bird , who might light on the topmost bough and pick off the ruddiest cherry , without any warning . [Two women less like [each other]_{451-each other}]_{3266-two women less like each other} could scarcely be imagined , [Ralph]_154-ralph thought , looking from one to the other . Next moment , [he]_154-ralph too , rose , and nodding to [Mary]_175-mary , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said good - bye , opened the door for [her]_175-mary , and followed [her]_175-mary out . [Mary]_175-mary sat still and made no attempt to prevent [them]_3264-them from going . For a second or two after the door had shut on [them]_3264-them [her]_{129-katharine} eyes rested on the door with a straightforward fierceness in which , for a moment , a certain degree of bewilderment seemed to enter ; but , after a brief hesitation , [she]_{129-katharine} put down [her]_{129-katharine} cup and proceeded to clear away the tea - things . The impulse which had driven [Ralph]_154-ralph to take this action was the result of a very swift little piece of reasoning , and thus , perhaps , was not quite so much of an impulse as it seemed . It passed through [his]_154-ralph mind that if [he]_154-ralph missed this chance of talking to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [he]_154-ralph would have to face [an enraged ghost]_{3268-an enraged ghost} , when [he]_154-ralph was alone in [[his]_154-ralph room]_{521-his room} again , demanding an explanation of [his]_154-ralph cowardly indecision . It was better , on the whole , to risk present discomfiture than to waste an evening bandying excuses and constructing impossible scenes with [this uncompromising section of [himself]_154-ralph]_{3270-this uncompromising section of himself} . For ever since [he]_154-ralph had visited [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} [he]_154-ralph had been much at the mercy of [a phantom [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who came to [him]_154-ralph when [he]_154-ralph sat alone]_{129-katharine} , and answered [him]_154-ralph as [he]_154-ralph would have [her]_{129-katharine} answer , and was always beside [him]_154-ralph to crown those varying triumphs which were transacted almost every night , in imaginary scenes , as [he]_154-ralph walked through [the lamplit streets]_{3271-the lamplit streets} [home]_2992-home from [the office]_{3177-the office} . To walk with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in the flesh would either feed that phantom with fresh food , which , as [all who nourish dreams]_{3274-all who nourish dreams} are aware , is a process that becomes necessary from time to time , or refine it to such a degree of thinness that it was scarcely serviceable any longer ; and that , too , is sometimes a welcome change to [a dreamer]_{3275-a dreamer} . And all the time [Ralph]_154-ralph was well aware that the bulk of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was not represented in [his]_154-ralph dreams at all , so that when [he]_154-ralph met [her]_{129-katharine} [he]_154-ralph was bewildered by the fact that [she]_{129-katharine} had nothing to do with [his]_154-ralph dream of [her]_{129-katharine} . When , on reaching [the street]_{397-the street} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found that [Mr. Denham]_131-denham proceeded to keep pace by [her]_{129-katharine} side , [she]_{129-katharine} was surprised and , perhaps , a little annoyed . [She]_{129-katharine} , too , had [her]_{129-katharine} margin of imagination , and to - night [her]_{129-katharine} activity in [this obscure region of the mind]_{3277-this obscure region of the mind} required solitude . If [she]_{129-katharine} had had [her]_{129-katharine} way , [she]_{129-katharine} would have walked very fast down [the Tottenham Court Road]_{3278-the tottenham court road} , and then sprung into [a cab]_{3079-a cab} and raced swiftly [home]_2992-home . The view [she]_{129-katharine} had had of the inside of [an office]_{2994-an office} was of the nature of a dream to [her]_{129-katharine} . Shut off up [there]_2927-there , [she]_{129-katharine} compared [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , and [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , and [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} to [enchanted people]_{3283-enchanted people} in [a bewitched tower]_{3284-a bewitched tower} , with the spiders ’ webs looping across the corners of [the room]_{379-the room} , and all the tools of [the necromancer]_{3286-the necromancer} ’s craft at hand ; for so aloof and unreal and apart from the normal world did [they]_{3283-enchanted people} seem to [her]_{129-katharine} , in [the house of innumerable typewriters , murmuring [their]_{3283-enchanted people} incantations and concocting [their]_{3283-enchanted people} drugs]_{3287-the house of innumerable typewriters , murmuring their incantations and concocting their drugs} , and flinging [their]_{3283-enchanted people} frail spiders ’ webs over the torrent of life which rushed down [the streets outside]_{3288-the streets outside} . [She]_{129-katharine} may have been conscious that there was some exaggeration in this fancy of [hers]_{129-katharine} , for [she]_{129-katharine} certainly did not wish to share it with [Ralph]_154-ralph . To [him]_154-ralph , [she]_{129-katharine} supposed , [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , composing leaflets for [Cabinet Ministers]_{198-cabinet ministers} among [her]_175-mary typewriters , represented all that was interesting and genuine ; and , accordingly , [she]_{129-katharine} shut [them]_{3283-enchanted people} both out from all share in [the crowded street]_{3289-the crowded street} , with [its]_{3289-the crowded street} pendant necklace of lamps , [its]_{3289-the crowded street} lighted windows , and its throng of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women , which exhilarated [her]_{129-katharine} to such an extent that [she]_{129-katharine} very nearly forgot [[her]_{129-katharine} companion]_{3292-her companion} . [She]_{129-katharine} walked very fast , and the effect of [people passing in the opposite direction]_{3293-people passing in the opposite direction} was to produce a queer dizziness both in [her]_{129-katharine} head and in [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s , which set [their]_{3283-enchanted people} bodies far apart . But [she]_{129-katharine} did [her]_{129-katharine} duty by [[her]_{129-katharine} companion]_{3292-her companion} almost unconsciously . “_[154-ralph] [Mary Datchet]_175-mary does that sort of work very well .... [She]_175-mary ’s responsible for it , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” “_[175-mary] Yes . [The others]_{1091-the others} do n’t help at all .... Has [she]_175-mary made a convert of [you]_0-i ? ” “_[175-mary] Oh no . That is , [I]_0-i ’m [a convert]_{1092-a convert} already . ” “_[175-mary] But [she]_175-mary has n’t persuaded [you]_0-i to work for [them]_{1091-the others} ? ” “_[175-mary] Oh dear no — that would n’t do at all . ” So [they]_1093-they walked on down [the Tottenham Court Road]_{3278-the tottenham court road} , parting and coming together again , and [Ralph]_154-ralph felt much as though [he]_154-ralph were addressing the summit of a poplar in a high gale of wind . “_[175-mary] Suppose [we]_1093-they get on to [that omnibus]_{1094-that omnibus} ? ” [he]_154-ralph suggested . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} acquiesced , and [they]_1093-they climbed up , and found [themselves]_1093-they alone on top of it . “_[1093-they] But which way are [you]_0-i going ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked , waking a little from the trance into which movement among moving things had thrown [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m going to [the Temple]_{1095-the temple} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied , inventing a destination on the spur of the moment . [He]_154-ralph felt the change come over [her]_{129-katharine} as [they]_1093-they sat down and [the omnibus]_{3296-the omnibus} began to move forward . [He]_154-ralph imagined [her]_{129-katharine} contemplating [the avenue]_{3297-the avenue} in front of [them]_1093-they with those honest sad eyes which seemed to set [him]_154-ralph at such a distance from [them]_1093-they . But the breeze was blowing in [their]_1093-they faces ; it lifted [her]_{129-katharine} hat for a second , and [she]_{129-katharine} drew out a pin and stuck it in again,—a little action which seemed , for some reason , to make [her]_{129-katharine} rather more fallible . Ah , if only [her]_{129-katharine} hat would blow off , and leave [her]_{129-katharine} altogether disheveled , accepting it from [his]_154-ralph hands ! “_[0-i] This is like [Venice]_32-venice , ” [she]_{129-katharine} observed , raising [her]_{129-katharine} hand . “_[0-i] [The motor - cars]_{1096-the motor - cars} , [I]_0-i mean , shooting about so quickly , with [their]_{1096-the motor - cars} lights . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve never seen [Venice]_32-venice , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i keep that and some other things for [my]_0-i old age . ” “_[0-i] What are the other things ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[0-i] There ’s [Venice]_32-venice and [India]_12-india and , [I]_0-i think , [Dante]_207-dante , too . ” [She]_{129-katharine} laughed . “_[207-dante] Think of providing for [one]_422-one ’s old age ! And would [you]_0-i refuse to see [Venice]_32-venice if [you]_0-i had the chance ? ” Instead of answering [her]_{129-katharine} , [he]_154-ralph wondered whether [he]_154-ralph should tell [her]_{129-katharine} something that was quite true about [himself]_154-ralph ; and as [he]_154-ralph wondered , [he]_154-ralph told [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve planned out [my]_0-i life in sections ever since [I]_0-i was [a child]_{541-a child} , to make it last longer . [You]_1099-you see , [I]_0-i ’m always afraid that [I]_0-i ’m missing something — ” “_[0-i] And so am [I]_0-i ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[0-i] But , after all , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added , “_[0-i] why should [you]_0-i miss anything ? ” “_[0-i] Why ? Because [I]_0-i ’m poor , for one thing , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph rejoined . “_[1099-you] [You]_1099-you , [I]_0-i suppose , can have [Venice]_32-venice and [India]_12-india and [Dante]_207-dante every day of [your]_1099-you life . ” [She]_{129-katharine} said nothing for a moment , but rested one hand , which was bare of glove , upon the rail in front of [her]_{129-katharine} , meditating upon a variety of things , of which one was that [this strange young man]_{402-this strange young man} pronounced [Dante]_207-dante as [she]_{129-katharine} was used to hearing it pronounced , and another , that [he]_{402-this strange young man} had , most unexpectedly , a feeling about life that was familiar to [her]_{129-katharine} . Perhaps , then , [he]_{402-this strange young man} was [the sort of person [she]_{129-katharine} might take an interest in]_{3299-the sort of person she might take an interest in} , if [she]_{129-katharine} came to know [him]_{402-this strange young man} better , and as [she]_{129-katharine} had placed [him]_{402-this strange young man} among [those whom [she]_{129-katharine} would never want to know better]_{3300-those whom she would never want to know better} , this was enough to make [her]_{129-katharine} silent . [She]_{129-katharine} hastily recalled [her]_{129-katharine} first view of [him]_{402-this strange young man} , in [the little room where the relics were kept]_{3301-the little room where the relics were kept} , and ran a bar through half [her]_{129-katharine} impressions , as one cancels a badly written sentence , having found the right one . “_[1099-you] But to know that one might have things does n’t alter the fact that [one]_422-one has n’t got them , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , in some confusion . “_[422-one] How could [I]_0-i go to [India]_12-india , for example ? Besides , ” [she]_{129-katharine} began impulsively , and stopped [herself]_{129-katharine} . Here [the conductor]_{3302-the conductor} came round , and interrupted [them]_3303-them . [Ralph]_154-ralph waited for [her]_{129-katharine} to resume [her]_{129-katharine} sentence , but [she]_{129-katharine} said no more . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have a message to give [[your]_0-i father]_{1101-your father} , ” [he]_154-ralph remarked . “_[0-i] Perhaps [you]_0-i would give it [him]_{1101-your father} , or [I]_0-i could come — ” “_[0-i] Yes , do come , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] Still , [I]_0-i do n’t see why [you]_0-i should n’t go to [India]_12-india , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph began , in order to keep [her]_{129-katharine} from rising , as [she]_{129-katharine} threatened to do . But [she]_{129-katharine} got up in spite of [him]_154-ralph , and said good - bye with [her]_{129-katharine} usual air of decision , and left [him]_154-ralph with a quickness which [Ralph]_154-ralph connected now with all [her]_{129-katharine} movements . [He]_154-ralph looked down and saw [her]_{129-katharine} standing on the pavement edge , [an alert , commanding figure , which waited its season to cross]_{3304-an alert , commanding figure , which waited its season to cross} , and then walked boldly and swiftly to the other side . That gesture and action would be added to the picture [he]_154-ralph had of [her]_{129-katharine} , but at present [the real woman]_{3305-the real woman} completely routed [the phantom one]_{3306-the phantom one} . “_{[208-mr. pelham]} And [little Augustus Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} said to [me]_0-i , ‘ It ’s [the younger generation]_{476-the younger generation} knocking at the door , ’ and [I]_0-i said to [him]_{208-mr. pelham} , ‘ Oh , but [the younger generation]_{476-the younger generation} comes in without knocking , [Mr. Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} . ’ Such a feeble little joke , was n’t it , but down it went into [his]_{208-mr. pelham} notebook all the same . ” “_{[208-mr. pelham]} Let [us]_1104-us congratulate [ourselves]_1104-us that [we]_1104-us shall be in the grave before that work is published , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [The elderly couple]_{3307-the elderly couple} were waiting for the dinner - bell to ring and for [[their]_{3307-the elderly couple} daughter]_{3308-their daughter} to come into [the room]_{379-the room} . [Their]_{3307-the elderly couple} arm - chairs were drawn up on either side of the fire , and [each]_3310-each sat in the same slightly crouched position , looking into the coals , with the expressions of people who have had [their]_{3307-the elderly couple} share of experiences and wait , rather passively , for something to happen . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} now gave all [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} attention to a piece of coal which had fallen out of the grate , and to selecting a favorable position for it among the lumps that were burning already . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} watched [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} in silence , and the smile changed on [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} lips as if [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind still played with the events of the afternoon . When [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had accomplished [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} task , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} resumed [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} crouching position again , and began to toy with the little green stone attached to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} watch - chain . [His]_{134-mr. hilbery} deep , oval - shaped eyes were fixed upon the flames , but behind the superficial glaze seemed to brood an observant and whimsical spirit , which kept the brown of the eye still unusually vivid . But a look of indolence , the result of skepticism or of a taste too fastidious to be satisfied by the prizes and conclusions so easily within [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} grasp , lent [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} an expression almost of melancholy . After sitting thus for a time , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} seemed to reach some point in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} thinking which demonstrated its futility , upon which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} sighed and stretched [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} hand for a book lying on the table by [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} side . Directly the door opened [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} closed the book , and the eyes of [father]_3311-father and [mother]_2916-mother both rested on [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{129-katharine} came towards [them]_3313-them . The sight seemed at once to give [them]_3313-them a motive which [they]_3313-them had not had before . To [them]_3313-them [she]_{129-katharine} appeared , as [she]_{129-katharine} walked towards [them]_3313-them in [her]_{129-katharine} light evening dress , extremely young , and the sight of [her]_{129-katharine} refreshed [them]_3313-them , were it only because [her]_{129-katharine} youth and ignorance made [their]_3313-them knowledge of [the world]_{478-the world} of some value . “_{[208-mr. pelham]} The only excuse for [you]_1105-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , is that dinner is still later than [you]_1105-you are , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , putting down [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} spectacles . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t mind [her]_{129-katharine} being late when the result is so charming , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , looking with pride at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} . “_{[129-katharine]} Still , [I]_0-i do n’t know that [I]_0-i like [your]_1105-you being out so late , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i continued . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_1105-you took [a cab]_{3079-a cab} , [I]_0-i hope ? ” Here dinner was announced , and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} formally led [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} wife]_{2946-his wife} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} on [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} arm . [They]_3318-they were all dressed for dinner , and , indeed , the prettiness of the dinner - table merited that compliment . There was no cloth upon the table , and the china made regular circles of deep blue upon the shining brown wood . In the middle there was a bowl of tawny red and yellow chrysanthemums , and one of pure white , so fresh that the narrow petals were curved backwards into a firm white ball . From the surrounding walls the heads of [three famous Victorian writers]_{3319-three famous victorian writers} surveyed this entertainment , and slips of paper pasted beneath [them]_{3319-three famous victorian writers} testified in [the great man]_{3320-the great man} ’s own handwriting that [he]_{3320-the great man} was [yours]_3321-yours sincerely or affectionately or for ever . [The father and daughter]_{3322-the father and daughter} would have been quite content , apparently , to eat [their]_{3322-the father and daughter} dinner in silence , or with a few cryptic remarks expressed in a shorthand which could not be understood by [the servants]_{3323-the servants} . But silence depressed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and far from minding the presence of [maids]_3324-maids , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would often address [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} to [them]_3324-maids , and was never altogether unconscious of [their]_3324-maids approval or disapproval of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} remarks . In the first place [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} called [them]_3324-maids to witness that [the room]_{379-the room} was darker than usual , and had all the lights turned on . “_[0-i] That ’s more cheerful , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_[0-i] D’you know , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [that ridiculous goose]_{1107-that ridiculous goose} came to tea with [me]_0-i ? Oh , how [I]_0-i wanted [you]_{129-katharine} ! [He]_{1107-that ridiculous goose} tried to make epigrams all the time , and [I]_0-i got so nervous , expecting them , [you]_{129-katharine} know , that [I]_0-i spilt the tea — and [he]_{1107-that ridiculous goose} made an epigram about that ! ” “_{[1107-that ridiculous goose]} Which ridiculous goose ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . “_{[1107-that ridiculous goose]} Only one of [my]_0-i geese , happily , makes epigrams — [Augustus Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} , of course , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_{[208-mr. pelham]} [I]_0-i ’m not sorry that [I]_0-i was out , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[209-poor augustus]} [Poor Augustus]_{209-poor augustus} ! ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_{[209-poor augustus]} But [we]_1108-we ’re all too hard on [him]_{209-poor augustus} . Remember how devoted [he]_{209-poor augustus} is to [[his]_{209-poor augustus} tiresome old mother]_{1109-his tiresome old mother} . ” “_{[209-poor augustus]} That ’s only because [she]_{1109-his tiresome old mother} is [[his]_{209-poor augustus} mother]_{538-his mother} . [Any one connected with [himself]_{209-poor augustus}]_{1111-any one connected with himself} — ” “_{[1111-any one connected with himself]} No , no , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — that ’s too bad . That’s — what ’s the word [I]_0-i mean , [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , something long and Latin — the sort of word [you]_{129-katharine} and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} know — ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} suggested “_{[210-uncle trevor]} cynical . ” “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Well , that ’ll do . [I]_0-i do n’t believe in sending [girls]_1112-girls to college , but [I]_0-i should teach [them]_1112-girls that sort of thing . It makes [one]_422-one feel so dignified , bringing out these little allusions , and passing on gracefully to the next topic . But [I]_0-i do n’t know what ’s come over [me]_0-i — [I]_0-i actually had to ask [Augustus]_{209-poor augustus} the name of [the lady [Hamlet]_211-hamlet was in love with]_{1114-the lady hamlet was in love with} , as [you]_{129-katharine} were out , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} knows what [he]_{209-poor augustus} may n’t put down about [me]_0-i in [his]_{209-poor augustus} diary . ” “_{[209-poor augustus]} [I]_0-i wish , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} started , with great impetuosity , and checked [herself]_{129-katharine} . [[Her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} always stirred [her]_{129-katharine} to feel and think quickly , and then [she]_{129-katharine} remembered that [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} was there , listening with attention . “_[0-i] What is it [you]_0-i wish ? ” [he]_{406-her father} asked , as [she]_{129-katharine} paused . [He]_{406-her father} often surprised [her]_{129-katharine} , thus , into telling [him]_{406-her father} what [she]_{129-katharine} had not meant to tell [him]_{406-her father} ; and then [they]_3329-they argued , while [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} went on with [her]_0-i own thoughts . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [mother]_2916-mother was n’t famous . [I]_0-i was out at tea , and [they]_1116-they would talk to [me]_0-i about poetry . ” “_[1116-they] Thinking [you]_0-i must be poetical , [I]_0-i see — and are n’t [you]_0-i ? ” “_[0-i] Who ’s been talking to [you]_0-i about poetry , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} demanded , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was committed to giving [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} an account of [her]_{129-katharine} visit to [the Suffrage office]_{3181-the suffrage office} . “_{[129-katharine]} [They]_1116-they have [an office at the top of one of [the old houses]_{1118-the old houses} in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square}]_{1117-an office at the top of one of the old houses in russell square} . [I]_0-i never saw [such queer - looking people]_{1119-such queer - looking people} . And [the man]_{3095-the man} discovered [I]_0-i was related to [the poet]_{661-the poet} , and talked to [me]_0-i about poetry . Even [Mary Datchet]_175-mary seems different in that atmosphere . ” “_[175-mary] Yes , [the office]_{3177-the office} atmosphere is very bad for the soul , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t remember [any offices in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square}]_{1123-any offices in russell square} in the old days , when [Mamma]_212-mamma lived [there]_2927-there , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mused , “_[212-mamma] and [I]_0-i ca n’t fancy turning [one of [those noble great rooms]_{1126-those noble great rooms}]_{1125-one of those noble great rooms} into [a stuffy little Suffrage office]_{1127-a stuffy little suffrage office} . Still , if [the clerks]_{1128-the clerks} read poetry there must be something nice about [them]_{1128-the clerks} . ” “_{[1128-the clerks]} No , because [they]_{1128-the clerks} do n’t read it as [we]_1129-we read it , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} insisted . “_{[1128-the clerks]} But it ’s nice to think of [them]_{1128-the clerks} reading [[your]_0-i grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} , and not filling up those dreadful little forms all day long , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} persisted , [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} notion of office life being derived from some chance view of a scene behind the counter at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} bank]_{3332-her bank} , as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} slipped the sovereigns into [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} purse . “_{[1128-the clerks]} At any rate , [they]_{1128-the clerks} have n’t made a convert of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , which was what [I]_0-i was afraid of , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} remarked . “_{[129-katharine]} Oh no , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} very decidedly , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i would n’t work with [them]_{1128-the clerks} for anything . ” “_[0-i] It ’s curious , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} continued , agreeing with [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} , “_[0-i] how the sight of [one ’s fellow - enthusiasts]_{1131-one ’s fellow - enthusiasts} always chokes one off . [They]_{1128-the clerks} show up the faults of [one]_422-one ’s cause so much more plainly than [[one]_422-one ’s antagonists]_{1134-one ’s antagonists} . [One]_422-one can be enthusiastic in [one]_422-one ’s study , but directly [one]_422-one comes into touch with [the people who agree with [one]_422-one]_{1138-the people who agree with one} , all the glamor goes . So [I]_0-i ’ve always found , ” and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} proceeded to tell [them]_{1128-the clerks} , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} peeled [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} apple , how [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} committed [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} once , in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} youthful days , to make a speech at a political meeting , and went there ablaze with enthusiasm for the ideals of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own side ; but while [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} leaders]_{3334-his leaders} spoke , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} became gradually converted to the other way of thinking , if thinking it could be called , and had to feign illness in order to avoid making a fool of [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} — an experience which had sickened [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} of public meetings . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} listened and felt as [she]_{129-katharine} generally did when [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , and to some extent [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , described [their]_{1128-the clerks} feelings , that [she]_{129-katharine} quite understood and agreed with [them]_{1128-the clerks} , but , at the same time , saw something which [they]_{1128-the clerks} did not see , and always felt some disappointment when [they]_{1128-the clerks} fell short of [her]_{129-katharine} vision , as [they]_{1128-the clerks} always did . The plates succeeded each other swiftly and noiselessly in front of [her]_{129-katharine} , and the table was decked for dessert , and as the talk murmured on in familiar grooves , [she]_{129-katharine} sat there , rather like [a judge]_{3337-a judge} , listening to [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} , who did , indeed , feel it very pleasant when [they]_{1128-the clerks} made [her]_{129-katharine} laugh . Daily life in [a house where there are young and old]_{3339-a house where there are young and old} is full of curious little ceremonies and pieties , which are discharged quite punctually , though the meaning of them is obscure , and a mystery has come to brood over [them]_{1128-the clerks} which lends even a superstitious charm to [their]_{1128-the clerks} performance . Such was the nightly ceremony of the cigar and the glass of port , which were placed on the right hand and on the left hand of [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , and simultaneously [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} . All the years [they]_{1128-the clerks} had lived together [they]_{1128-the clerks} had never seen [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} smoke [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} cigar or drink [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} port , and [they]_{1128-the clerks} would have felt it unseemly if , by chance , [they]_{1128-the clerks} had surprised [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} sat there . These short , but clearly marked , periods of separation between [the sexes]_{3341-the sexes} were always used for an intimate postscript to what had been said at dinner , the sense of being [women]_557-women together coming out most strongly when [the male sex]_{3343-the male sex} was , as if by some religious rite , secluded from [the female]_{3344-the female} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} knew by heart the sort of mood that possessed [her]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{129-katharine} walked [upstairs]_523-upstairs to [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s arm in [hers]_{129-katharine} ; and [she]_{129-katharine} could anticipate the pleasure with which , when [she]_{129-katharine} had turned on the lights , [they]_3348-they both regarded [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , fresh swept and set in order for the last section of the day , with the red parrots swinging on the chintz curtains , and the arm - chairs warming in the blaze . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stood over the fire , with one foot on the fender , and [her]_0-i skirts slightly raised . “_[0-i] Oh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , “_{[129-katharine]} how [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve made [me]_0-i think of [Mamma]_212-mamma and the old days in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} ! [I]_0-i can see the chandeliers , and the green silk of the piano , and [Mamma]_212-mamma sitting in [her]_212-mamma cashmere shawl by the window , singing till [the little ragamuffin boys outside]_{1140-the little ragamuffin boys outside} stopped to listen . [Papa]_213-papa sent [me]_0-i in with a bunch of violets while [he]_213-papa waited round the corner . It must have been a summer evening . That was before things were hopeless .... ” As [she]_0-i spoke an expression of regret , which must have come frequently to cause the lines which now grew deep round the lips and eyes , settled on [her]_0-i face . [The poet]_{661-the poet} ’s marriage had not been a happy one . [He]_213-papa had left [[his]_213-papa wife]_{2946-his wife} , and after some years of a rather reckless existence , [she]_{2946-his wife} had died , before [her]_{2946-his wife} time . This disaster had led to great irregularities of education , and , indeed , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} might be said to have escaped education altogether . But [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had been [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{406-her father} ’s companion at the season when [he]_213-papa wrote the finest of [his]_213-papa poems . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had sat on [his]_213-papa knee in [taverns]_3353-taverns and other haunts of [drunken poets]_{3354-drunken poets} , and it was for [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sake , so [people]_383-people said , that [he]_213-papa had cured [himself]_213-papa of [his]_213-papa dissipation , and become [the irreproachable literary character that [the world]_{478-the world} knows , whose inspiration had deserted [him]_213-papa]_{3356-the irreproachable literary character that the world knows , whose inspiration had deserted him} . As [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} grew old [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} thought more and more of the past , and this ancient disaster seemed at times almost to prey upon [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind , as if [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} could not pass out of life [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} without laying the ghost of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} parent]_{3358-her parent} ’s sorrow to rest . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} wished to comfort [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , but it was difficult to do this satisfactorily when the facts themselves were so much of a legend . [The house in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square}]_{3360-the house in russell square} , for example , with [[its]_{3360-the house in russell square} noble rooms]_{3361-its noble rooms} , and the magnolia - tree in [the garden]_{3362-the garden} , and the sweet - voiced piano , and the sound of feet coming down [the corridors]_{3363-the corridors} , and other properties of size and romance — had [they]_1141-they any existence ? Yet why should [Mrs. Alardyce]_{214-mrs. alardyce} live all alone in [this gigantic mansion]_{3364-this gigantic mansion} , and , if [she]_{214-mrs. alardyce} did not live alone , with whom did [she]_{214-mrs. alardyce} live ? For its own sake , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} rather liked this tragic story , and would have been glad to hear the details of it , and to have been able to discuss them frankly . But this it became less and less possible to do , for though [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was constantly reverting to the story , it was always in this tentative and restless fashion , as though by a touch here and there [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} could set things straight which had been crooked these sixty years . Perhaps , indeed , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} no longer knew what the truth was . “_[213-papa] If [they]_1141-they ’d lived now , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} concluded , “_[213-papa] [I]_0-i feel it would n’t have happened . [People]_383-people are n’t so set upon tragedy as [they]_383-people were then . If [[my]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} had been able to go round [the world]_{478-the world} , or if [she]_0-i ’d had a rest cure , everything would have come right . But what could [I]_0-i do ? And then [they]_1141-they had [bad friends]_{1145-bad friends} , both of [them]_{1145-bad friends} , who made mischief . Ah , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , when [you]_{129-katharine} marry , be quite , quite sure that [you]_{129-katharine} love [[your]_{129-katharine} husband]_{1146-your husband} ! ” The tears stood in [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s eyes . While comforting [her]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought to [herself]_{129-katharine} , “_{[129-katharine]} Now this is what [Mary Datchet]_175-mary and [Mr. Denham]_131-denham do n’t understand . This is the sort of position [I]_0-i ’m always getting into . How simple it must be to live as [they]_1141-they do ! ” for all the evening [she]_{129-katharine} had been comparing [[her]_{129-katharine} home]_{3365-her home} and [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} and [mother]_2916-mother with [the Suffrage office]_{3181-the suffrage office} and [the people there]_{869-the people there} . “_{[129-katharine]} But , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued , with one of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sudden changes of mood , “_{[129-katharine]} though , [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} knows , [I]_0-i do n’t want to see [you]_{129-katharine} married , surely if ever [a man]_{1147-a man} loved [a woman]_{3107-a woman} , [William]_176-rodney loves [you]_{129-katharine} . And it ’s a nice , rich - sounding name too — [Katharine Rodney]_{129-katharine} , which , unfortunately , does n’t mean that [he]_176-rodney ’s got any money , because [he]_176-rodney has n’t . ” The alteration of [her]_{129-katharine} name annoyed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} observed , rather sharply , that [she]_{129-katharine} did n’t want to marry [any one]_{2939-any one} . “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s very dull that [you]_{129-katharine} can only marry [one husband]_{1149-one husband} , certainly , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} reflected . “_{[1149-one husband]} [I]_0-i always wish that [you]_{129-katharine} could marry everybody who wants to marry [you]_{129-katharine} . Perhaps [they]_1150-they ’ll come to that in time , but meanwhile [I]_0-i confess that [dear William]_176-rodney — ” But here [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} came in , and the more solid part of the evening began . This consisted in the reading aloud by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} from some prose work or other , while [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} knitted scarves intermittently on a little circular frame , and [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} read the newspaper , not so attentively but that [he]_{406-her father} could comment humorously now and again upon the fortunes of [the hero]_{3373-the hero} and [the heroine]_{3374-the heroine} . [The Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} subscribed to [a library]_{3375-a library} , which delivered books on Tuesdays and Fridays , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} did [her]_{129-katharine} best to interest [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} in the works of [living and highly respectable authors]_{3377-living and highly respectable authors} ; but [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was perturbed by the very look of the light , gold - wreathed volumes , and would make little faces as if [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} tasted something bitter as the reading went on ; while [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} would treat [the moderns]_{3378-the moderns} with a curious elaborate banter such as one might apply to the antics of [a promising child]_{3379-a promising child} . So this evening , after five pages or so of one of [these masters]_{3380-these masters} , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} protested that it was all too clever and cheap and nasty for words . “_[176-rodney] Please , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , read [us]_1151-us something real . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had to go to the bookcase and choose a portly volume in sleek , yellow calf , which had directly a sedative effect upon both [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} . But the delivery of the evening post broke in upon the periods of [Henry Fielding]_216-henry , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found that [her]_{129-katharine} letters needed all [her]_{129-katharine} attention . [She]_{129-katharine} took [her]_{129-katharine} letters up to [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} with [her]_{129-katharine} , having persuaded [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} to go to bed directly [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} left [them]_3384-them , for so long as [she]_{129-katharine} sat in [the same room]_{563-the same room} as [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} might , at any moment , ask for a sight of the post . A very hasty glance through many sheets had shown [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that , by some coincidence , [her]_{129-katharine} attention had to be directed to many different anxieties simultaneously . In the first place , [Rodney]_{129-katharine} had written a very full account of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} state of mind , which was illustrated by a sonnet , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} demanded a reconsideration of [their]_3387-their position , which agitated [Katharine]_{129-katharine} more than [she]_{129-katharine} liked . Then there were two letters which had to be laid side by side and compared before [she]_{129-katharine} could make out the truth of [their]_3387-their story , and even when [she]_{129-katharine} knew the facts [she]_{129-katharine} could not decide what to make of them ; and finally [she]_{129-katharine} had to reflect upon a great many pages from [a cousin who found [himself]_{3388-a cousin who found himself in financial difficulties , which forced him to the uncongenial occupation of teaching the young ladies of bungay to play upon the violin} in financial difficulties , which forced [him]_{3388-a cousin who found himself in financial difficulties , which forced him to the uncongenial occupation of teaching the young ladies of bungay to play upon the violin} to the uncongenial occupation of teaching [the young ladies of [Bungay]_33-bungay]_{3389-the young ladies of bungay} to play upon the violin]_{3388-a cousin who found himself in financial difficulties , which forced him to the uncongenial occupation of teaching the young ladies of bungay to play upon the violin} . But the two letters which each told the same story differently were the chief source of [her]_{129-katharine} perplexity . [She]_{129-katharine} was really rather shocked to find it definitely established that [[her]_{129-katharine} own second cousin]_{3390-her own second cousin} , [Cyril Alardyce]_217-cyril , had lived for the last four years with [a woman who was not [[his]_217-cyril wife , who had borne [him]_217-cyril two children]_{3392-his wife , who had borne him two children} , and was now about to bear [him]_217-cyril another]_{3391-a woman who was not his wife , who had borne him two children , and was now about to bear him another} . This state of things had been discovered by [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , a zealous inquirer into such matters , whose letter was also under consideration . [Cyril]_217-cyril , [she]_{129-katharine} said , must be made to marry [the woman]_{3394-the woman} at once ; and [Cyril]_217-cyril , rightly or wrongly , was indignant with such interference with [his]_217-cyril affairs , and would not own that [he]_217-cyril had any cause to be ashamed of [himself]_217-cyril . Had [he]_217-cyril any cause to be ashamed of [himself]_217-cyril , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} wondered ; and [she]_{129-katharine} turned to [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} again . “_{[129-katharine]} Remember , ” [she]_{129-katharine} wrote , in [her]_{129-katharine} profuse , emphatic statement , “_{[129-katharine]} that [he]_1152-he bears [[your]_1153-your grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} ’s name , and so will [the child that is to be born]_{1155-the child that is to be born} . [The poor boy]_{1156-the poor boy} is not so much to blame as [the woman who deluded [him]_{1156-the poor boy}]_{1157-the woman who deluded him} , thinking [him]_{1156-the poor boy} [a gentleman]_{1158-a gentleman} , which [he]_{1156-the poor boy} is , and having money , which [he]_{1156-the poor boy} has not . ” “_{[1157-the woman who deluded him]} What would [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph say to this ? ” thought [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , beginning to pace up and down [[her]_{129-katharine} bedroom]_{3396-her bedroom} . [She]_{129-katharine} twitched aside the curtains , so that , on turning , [she]_{129-katharine} was faced by darkness , and looking out , could just distinguish the branches of a plane - tree and the yellow lights of some one else ’s windows . “_[154-ralph] What would [Mary Datchet]_175-mary and [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph say ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} reflected , pausing by the window , which , as the night was warm , [she]_{129-katharine} raised , in order to feel the air upon [her]_{129-katharine} face , and to lose [herself]_{129-katharine} in the nothingness of night . But with the air the distant humming sound of far - off [crowded thoroughfares]_{3397-crowded thoroughfares} was admitted to [the room]_{379-the room} . The incessant and tumultuous hum of the distant traffic seemed , as [she]_{129-katharine} stood there , to represent the thick texture of [her]_{129-katharine} life , for [her]_{129-katharine} life was so hemmed in with the progress of other lives that the sound of its own advance was inaudible . People like [Ralph]_154-ralph and [Mary]_175-mary , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , had it all [their]_3399-them own way , and an empty space before [them]_3399-them , and , as [she]_{129-katharine} envied [them]_3399-them , [she]_{129-katharine} cast [her]_{129-katharine} mind out to imagine [an empty land where all this petty intercourse of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women]_{3400-an empty land where all this petty intercourse of men and women} , this life made up of the dense crossings and entanglements of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women , had no existence whatever . Even now , alone , at night , looking out into [the shapeless mass of [London]_2-london]_{3405-the shapeless mass of london} , [she]_{129-katharine} was forced to remember that there was one point and here another with which [she]_{129-katharine} had some connection . [William Rodney]_176-rodney , at this very moment , was seated in a minute speck of light somewhere to [the east of [her]_{129-katharine}]_{3406-the east of her} , and [his]_176-rodney mind was occupied , not with [his]_176-rodney book , but with [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} wished that [no one in the whole world]_{3407-no one in the whole world} would think of [her]_{129-katharine} . However , there was no way of escaping from [one ’s fellow - beings]_{3408-one ’s fellow - beings} , [she]_{129-katharine} concluded , and shut the window with a sigh , and returned once more to [her]_{129-katharine} letters . [She]_{129-katharine} could not doubt but that [William]_176-rodney ’s letter was the most genuine [she]_{129-katharine} had yet received from [him]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney had come to the conclusion that [he]_176-rodney could not live without [her]_{129-katharine} , [he]_176-rodney wrote . [He]_176-rodney believed that [he]_176-rodney knew [her]_{129-katharine} , and could give [her]_{129-katharine} happiness , and that [their]_3409-their marriage would be unlike other marriages . Nor was the sonnet , in spite of its accomplishment , lacking in passion , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as [she]_{129-katharine} read the pages through again , could see in what direction [her]_{129-katharine} feelings ought to flow , supposing they revealed themselves . [She]_{129-katharine} would come to feel a humorous sort of tenderness for [him]_176-rodney , a zealous care for [his]_176-rodney susceptibilities , and , after all , [she]_{129-katharine} considered , thinking of [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} and [mother]_2916-mother , what is love ? Naturally , with [her]_{129-katharine} face , position , and background , [she]_{129-katharine} had experience of [young men who wished to marry [her]_{129-katharine}]_{3412-young men who wished to marry her} , and made protestations of love , but , perhaps because [she]_{129-katharine} did not return the feeling , it remained something of a pageant to [her]_{129-katharine} . Not having experience of it [herself]_{129-katharine} , [her]_{129-katharine} mind had unconsciously occupied itself for some years in dressing up an image of love , and the marriage that was the outcome of love , and [the man who inspired love]_{3413-the man who inspired love} , which naturally dwarfed any examples that came [her]_{129-katharine} way . Easily , and without correction by reason , [her]_{129-katharine} imagination made pictures , superb backgrounds casting a rich though phantom light upon the facts in the foreground . Splendid as the waters that drop with resounding thunder from high ledges of rock , and plunge downwards into the blue depths of night , was the presence of love [she]_{129-katharine} dreamt , drawing into it every drop of the force of life , and dashing [them]_3414-their all asunder in the superb catastrophe in which everything was surrendered , and nothing might be reclaimed . [The man]_{3095-the man} , too , was [some magnanimous hero]_{3416-some magnanimous hero} , riding a great horse by [the shore of [the sea]_{829-the sea}]_{3417-the shore of the sea} . [They]_3419-they rode through [forests]_3420-forests together , [they]_3419-they galloped by [the rim of [the sea]_{829-the sea}]_{3421-the rim of the sea} . But waking , [she]_{129-katharine} was able to contemplate a perfectly loveless marriage , as the thing one did actually in real life , for possibly [the people who dream thus]_{3423-the people who dream thus} are [those who do the most prosaic things]_{3424-those who do the most prosaic things} . At this moment [she]_{129-katharine} was much inclined to sit on into the night , spinning [her]_{129-katharine} light fabric of thoughts until [she]_{129-katharine} tired of [their]_3414-their futility , and went to [[her]_{129-katharine} mathematics]_{3425-her mathematics} ; but , as [she]_{129-katharine} knew very well , it was necessary that [she]_{129-katharine} should see [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} before [he]_{406-her father} went to bed . The case of [Cyril Alardyce]_217-cyril must be discussed , [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s illusions and the rights of [the family]_{667-the family} attended to . Being vague [herself]_{129-katharine} as to what all this amounted to , [she]_{129-katharine} had to take counsel with [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . [She]_{129-katharine} took [her]_{129-katharine} letters in [her]_{129-katharine} hand and went [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} . It was past eleven , and the clocks had come into [their]_3414-their reign , the grandfather ’s clock in [the hall]_{3431-the hall} ticking in competition with the small clock on [the landing]_{571-the landing} . [[Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s study]_{3433-mr. hilbery ’s study} ran out behind the rest of [the house]_{377-the house} , on the ground floor , and was a very silent , subterranean place , the sun in daytime casting a mere abstract of light through a skylight upon [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} books and the large table , with [its]_{3433-mr. hilbery ’s study} spread of white papers , now illumined by a green reading - lamp . Here [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} sat editing [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} review , or placing together documents by means of which it could be proved that [Shelley]_173-shelley had written “_[175-mary] of ” instead of “_[175-mary] and , ” or that [the inn in which [Byron]_220-byron had slept]_{3435-the inn in which byron had slept} was called the “_[175-mary] Nag ’s Head ” and not the “_[175-mary] Turkish Knight , ” or that the Christian name of [[Keats]_221-keats ’s uncle]_{3436-keats ’s uncle} had been [John]_{168-sir john franklin} rather than [Richard]_{139-richard alardyce} , for [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} knew more minute details about [these poets]_{3437-these poets} than [any man in [England]_5-england]_{3438-any man in england} , probably , and was preparing an edition of [Shelley]_173-shelley which scrupulously observed [the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s system of punctuation . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} saw the humor of these researches , but that did not prevent [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} from carrying them out with the utmost scrupulosity . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was lying back comfortably in a deep arm - chair smoking a cigar , and ruminating the fruitful question as to whether [Coleridge]_{222-coleridge} had wished to marry [Dorothy Wordsworth]_{172-wordsworth} , and what , if [he]_{222-coleridge} had done so , would have been the consequences to [him]_{222-coleridge} in particular , and to literature in general . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} came in [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} reflected that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} knew what [she]_{129-katharine} had come for , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} made a pencil note before [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} spoke to [her]_{129-katharine} . Having done this , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} saw that [she]_{129-katharine} was reading , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} watched [her]_{129-katharine} for a moment without saying anything . [She]_{129-katharine} was reading “_{[223-isabella]} [Isabella]_223-isabella and the Pot of [Basil]_224-basil , ” and [her]_{129-katharine} mind was full of [the Italian hills]_{3440-the italian hills} and the blue daylight , and the hedges set with little rosettes of red and white roses . Feeling that [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} waited for [her]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{129-katharine} sighed and said , shutting [her]_{129-katharine} book : “_{[223-isabella]} [I]_0-i ’ve had a letter from [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} about [Cyril]_217-cyril , [father]_3311-father .... It seems to be true — about [his]_217-cyril marriage . What are [we]_1160-we to do ? ” “_[217-cyril] [Cyril]_217-cyril seems to have been behaving in a very foolish manner , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} pleasant and deliberate tones . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found some difficulty in carrying on the conversation , while [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} balanced [his]_{406-her father} finger - tips so judiciously , and seemed to reserve so many of [his]_{406-her father} thoughts for [himself]_{406-her father} . “_[217-cyril] [He]_217-cyril ’s about done for [himself]_217-cyril , [I]_0-i should say , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} continued . Without saying anything , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} took [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s letters out of [her]_{129-katharine} hand , adjusted [his]_{406-her father} eyeglasses , and read them through . At length [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said “_[217-cyril] Humph ! ” and gave the letters back to [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[159-mother] [Mother]_159-mother knows nothing about it , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked . “_[159-mother] Will [you]_0-i tell [her]_159-mother ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall tell [[your]_1161-your mother]_{3081-your mother} . But [I]_0-i shall tell [her]_{3081-your mother} that there is nothing whatever for [us]_1163-our to do . ” “_[0-i] But the marriage ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked , with some diffidence . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} said nothing , and stared into the fire . “_[1164-he] What in the name of conscience did [he]_1164-he do it for ? ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} speculated at last , rather to [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} than to [her]_{129-katharine} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had begun to read [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} ’s letter over again , and [she]_{129-katharine} now quoted a sentence . “_[1164-he] [Ibsen]_225-ibsen and [Butler]_226-butler .... [He]_1164-he has sent [me]_0-i a letter full of quotations — nonsense , though clever nonsense . ” “_[1164-he] Well , if [the younger generation]_{476-the younger generation} want to carry on [its]_{476-the younger generation} life on those lines , it ’s none of [our]_1163-our affair , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} remarked . “_[1164-he] But is n’t it [our]_1163-our affair , perhaps , to make [them]_1166-them get married ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked rather wearily . “_[1167-them] Why the dickens should [they]_1167-them apply to [me]_0-i ? ” [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} demanded with sudden irritation . “_[1167-them] Only as [the head of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{666-the head of the family} — ” “_[1167-them] But [I]_0-i ’m not [the head of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{666-the head of the family} . [Alfred]_206-alfred ’s [the head of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{666-the head of the family} . Let [them]_1167-them apply to [Alfred]_206-alfred , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , relapsing again into [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} arm - chair . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was aware that [she]_{129-katharine} had touched a sensitive spot , however , in mentioning [the family]_{667-the family} . “_[1167-them] [I]_0-i think , perhaps , the best thing would be for [me]_0-i to go and see [them]_1167-them , ” [she]_{129-katharine} observed . “_[1167-them] [I]_0-i wo n’t have [you]_0-i going anywhere near [them]_1167-them , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} replied with unwonted decision and authority . “_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i do n’t understand why [they]_1167-them ’ve dragged [you]_0-i into the business at all — [I]_0-i do n’t see that it ’s got anything to do with [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve always been friends with [Cyril]_217-cyril , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed . “_[217-cyril] But did [he]_217-cyril ever tell [you]_0-i anything about this ? ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} asked rather sharply . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} shook [her]_{129-katharine} head . [She]_{129-katharine} was , indeed , a good deal hurt that [Cyril]_217-cyril had not confided in [her]_{129-katharine} — did [he]_217-cyril think , as [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph or [Mary Datchet]_175-mary might think , that [she]_{129-katharine} was , for some reason , unsympathetic — hostile even ? “_[217-cyril] As to [[your]_0-i mother]_{3081-your mother} , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , after a pause , in which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} seemed to be considering the color of the flames , “_[0-i] [you]_0-i had better tell [her]_{3081-your mother} the facts . [She]_{3081-your mother} ’d better know the facts before [every one]_{3109-every one} begins to talk about it , though why [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} thinks it necessary to come , [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i do n’t know . And the less talk there is the better . ” Granting the assumption that [gentlemen of sixty who are highly cultivated , and have had much experience of life]_{3446-gentlemen of sixty who are highly cultivated , and have had much experience of life} , probably think of many things which [they]_{3446-gentlemen of sixty who are highly cultivated , and have had much experience of life} do not say , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could not help feeling rather puzzled by [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s attitude , as [she]_{129-katharine} went back to [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} . What a distance [he]_{406-her father} was from it all ! How superficially [he]_{406-her father} smoothed these events into a semblance of decency which harmonized with [his]_{406-her father} own view of life ! [He]_{406-her father} never wondered what [Cyril]_217-cyril had felt , nor did the hidden aspects of the case tempt [him]_{406-her father} to examine into them . [He]_{406-her father} merely seemed to realize , rather languidly , that [Cyril]_217-cyril had behaved in a way which was foolish , because [other people]_{2964-other people} did not behave in that way . [He]_{406-her father} seemed to be looking through a telescope at little figures hundreds of miles in the distance . [Her]_{129-katharine} selfish anxiety not to have to tell [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} what had happened made [her]_{129-katharine} follow [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} into [the hall]_{3431-the hall} after breakfast the next morning in order to question [him]_{406-her father} . “_[1176-you] Have [you]_1176-you told [mother]_2916-mother ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . [Her]_{129-katharine} manner to [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} was almost stern , and [she]_{129-katharine} seemed to hold endless depths of reflection in the dark of [her]_{129-katharine} eyes . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} sighed . “_[1176-you] [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1178-my dear child} , it went out of [my]_0-i head . ” [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} smoothed [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} silk hat energetically , and at once affected an air of hurry . “_[1176-you] [I]_0-i ’ll send a note round from [the office]_{3177-the office} .... [I]_0-i ’m late this morning , and [I]_0-i ’ve any amount of proofs to get through . ” “_[0-i] That would n’t do at all , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said decidedly . “_{[2916-mother]} [She]_2916-mother must be told — [you]_1176-you or [I]_0-i must tell [her]_2916-mother . [We]_1180-we ought to have told [her]_2916-mother at first . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had now placed [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} hat on [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} head , and [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} hand was on the door - knob . An expression which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} knew well from [her]_{129-katharine} childhood , when [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} asked [her]_{129-katharine} to shield [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} in some neglect of duty , came into [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} eyes ; malice , humor , and irresponsibility were blended in it . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} nodded [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} head to and fro significantly , opened the door with an adroit movement , and stepped out with a lightness unexpected at [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} age . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} waved [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} hand once to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} , and was gone . Left alone , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could not help laughing to find [herself]_{129-katharine} cheated as usual in domestic bargainings with [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , and left to do the disagreeable work which belonged , by rights , to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} disliked telling [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} about [Cyril]_217-cyril ’s misbehavior quite as much as [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} did , and for much the same reasons . [They]_3457-they both shrank , nervously , as [people]_383-people fear the report of a gun on the stage , from all that would have to be said on this occasion . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , moreover , was unable to decide what [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [Cyril]_217-cyril ’s misbehavior . As usual , [she]_{129-katharine} saw something which [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} and [mother]_2916-mother did not see , and the effect of that something was to suspend [Cyril]_217-cyril ’s behavior in [her]_{129-katharine} mind without any qualification at all . [They]_3457-they would think whether it was good or bad ; to [her]_{129-katharine} it was merely a thing that had happened . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reached [the study]_{3461-the study} , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had already dipped [her]_0-i pen in the ink . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i said , lifting it in the air , “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve just made out such a queer , strange thing about [[your]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} . [I]_0-i ’m three years and six months older than [he]_{2954-your grandfather} was when [he]_{2954-your grandfather} died . [I]_0-i could n’t very well have been [[his]_{2954-your grandfather} mother]_{538-his mother} , but [I]_0-i might have been [[his]_{2954-your grandfather} elder sister]_{1183-his elder sister} , and that seems to [me]_0-i such a pleasant fancy . [I]_0-i ’m going to start quite fresh this morning , and get a lot done . ” [She]_{129-katharine} began [her]_{129-katharine} sentence , at any rate , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sat down at [her]_{129-katharine} own table , untied the bundle of old letters upon which [she]_{129-katharine} was working , smoothed them out absent - mindedly , and began to decipher the faded script . In a minute [she]_{129-katharine} looked across at [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , to judge [her]_{380-her mother} mood . Peace and happiness had relaxed every muscle in [her]_{380-her mother} face ; [her]_{380-her mother} lips were parted very slightly , and [her]_{380-her mother} breath came in smooth , controlled inspirations like those of a child who is surrounding itself with [a building of bricks]_{3463-a building of bricks} , and increasing in ecstasy as each brick is placed in position . So [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was raising round [her]_{380-her mother} the skies and trees of the past with every stroke of [her]_{380-her mother} pen , and recalling the voices of the dead . Quiet as [the room]_{379-the room} was , and undisturbed by the sounds of the present moment , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could fancy that [here]_2985-here was a deep pool of past time , and that [she]_{129-katharine} and [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} were bathed in the light of sixty years ago . What could the present give , [she]_{129-katharine} wondered , to compare with the rich crowd of gifts bestowed by the past ? Here was a Thursday morning in process of manufacture ; each second was minted fresh by the clock upon the mantelpiece . [She]_{129-katharine} strained [her]_{129-katharine} ears and could just hear , far off , the hoot of [a motor - car]_{3467-a motor - car} and the rush of wheels coming nearer and dying away again , and the voices of [men]_719-men crying old iron and vegetables in one of [the poorer streets at the back of [the house]_{377-the house}]_{3469-the poorer streets at the back of the house} . [Rooms]_3471-rooms , of course , accumulate [their]_3471-rooms suggestions , and [any room in which one has been used to carry on any particular occupation]_{3472-any room in which one has been used to carry on any particular occupation} gives off memories of moods , of ideas , of postures that have been seen in it ; so that to attempt any different kind of work there is almost impossible . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was unconsciously affected , each time [she]_{129-katharine} entered [[[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s room]_{3474-her mother ’s room} , by all these influences , which had had [their]_3475-their birth years ago , when [she]_{129-katharine} was [a child]_{541-a child} , and had something sweet and solemn about [them]_3475-their , and connected [themselves]_3475-their with early memories of the cavernous glooms and sonorous echoes of [the Abbey where [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} lay buried]_{3477-the abbey where her grandfather lay buried} . All the books and pictures , even the chairs and tables , had belonged to [him]_{446-her grandfather} , or had reference to [him]_{446-her grandfather} ; even the china dogs on the mantelpiece and [the little shepherdesses with [their]_{3479-the little shepherdesses with their sheep} sheep]_{3479-the little shepherdesses with their sheep} had been bought by [him]_{446-her grandfather} for a penny a piece from [a man who used to stand with a tray of toys in [Kensington High Street]_{34-kensington high street} , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had often heard [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} tell]_{3480-a man who used to stand with a tray of toys in kensington high street , as katharine had often heard her mother tell} . Often [she]_{129-katharine} had sat in [this room]_{3013-this room} , with [her]_{129-katharine} mind fixed so firmly on those vanished figures that [she]_{129-katharine} could almost see the muscles round [their]_3475-their eyes and lips , and had given to [each]_3483-each [his]_{446-her grandfather} own voice , with its tricks of accent , and [his]_{446-her grandfather} coat and [his]_{446-her grandfather} cravat . Often [she]_{129-katharine} had seemed to [herself]_{129-katharine} to be moving among [them]_3475-their , [an invisible ghost among the living]_{3484-an invisible ghost among the living} , better acquainted with [them]_3475-their than with [[her]_{129-katharine} own friends]_{3485-her own friends} , because [she]_{129-katharine} knew [their]_3475-their secrets and possessed a divine foreknowledge of [their]_3475-their destiny . [They]_3475-their had been so unhappy , [such muddlers]_{3486-such muddlers} , so wrong - headed , it seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} could have told [them]_3475-their what to do , and what not to do . It was a melancholy fact that [they]_3475-their would pay no heed to [her]_{129-katharine} , and were bound to come to grief in [their]_3475-their own antiquated way . [Their]_3475-their behavior was often grotesquely irrational ; [their]_3475-their conventions monstrously absurd ; and yet , as [she]_{129-katharine} brooded upon [them]_3475-their , [she]_{129-katharine} felt so closely attached to [them]_3475-their that it was useless to try to pass judgment upon [them]_3475-their . [She]_{129-katharine} very nearly lost consciousness that [she]_{129-katharine} was [a separate being]_{3487-a separate being} , with a future of [her]_{129-katharine} own . On a morning of slight depression , such as this , [she]_{129-katharine} would try to find some sort of clue to the muddle which [their]_3475-their old letters presented ; some reason which seemed to make it worth while to [them]_3475-their ; some aim which they kept steadily in view — but [she]_{129-katharine} was interrupted . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had risen from [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} table , and was standing looking out of the window at a string of [barges swimming up]_{3488-barges swimming up} [the river]_{945-the river} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} watched [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . Suddenly [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} turned abruptly , and exclaimed : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i really believe [I]_0-i ’m bewitched ! [I]_0-i only want three sentences , [you]_1184-you see , something quite straightforward and commonplace , and [I]_0-i ca n’t find ‘ em . ” [She]_0-i began to pace up and down [the room]_{379-the room} , snatching up [her]_0-i duster ; but [she]_0-i was too much annoyed to find any relief , as yet , in polishing the backs of books . “_[0-i] Besides , ” [she]_0-i said , giving the sheet [she]_0-i had written to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t believe this ’ll do . Did [[your]_1184-you grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} ever visit [the Hebrides]_{35-the hebrides} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [She]_0-i looked in a strangely beseeching way at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} . “_{[129-katharine]} [My]_0-i mind got running on [the Hebrides]_{35-the hebrides} , and [I]_0-i could n’t help writing a little description of them . Perhaps it would do at the beginning of a chapter . Chapters often begin quite differently from the way they go on , [you]_1184-you know . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} read what [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had written . [She]_{380-her mother} might have been [a schoolmaster]_{3493-a schoolmaster} criticizing [a child]_{541-a child} ’s essay . [Her]_{129-katharine} face gave [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , who watched it anxiously , no ground for hope . “_[1184-you] It ’s very beautiful , ” [she]_{129-katharine} stated , “_[1184-you] but , [you]_1184-you see , [mother]_2916-mother , [we]_1187-we ought to go from point to point — ” “_{[2916-mother]} Oh , [I]_0-i know , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_{[2916-mother]} And that ’s just what [I]_0-i ca n’t do . Things keep coming into [my]_0-i head . It is n’t that [I]_0-i do n’t know everything and feel everything ( who did know [him]_1188-him , if [I]_0-i did n’t ? ) , but [I]_0-i ca n’t put it down , [you]_1184-you see . There ’s a kind of blind spot , ” [she]_0-i said , touching [her]_0-i forehead , “_[0-i] there . And when [I]_0-i ca n’t sleep o ’ nights , [I]_0-i fancy [I]_0-i shall die without having done it . ” From exultation [she]_0-i had passed to the depths of depression which the imagination of [her]_0-i death aroused . The depression communicated itself to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . How impotent [they]_3495-they were , fiddling about all day long with papers ! And the clock was striking eleven and nothing done ! [She]_{129-katharine} watched [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , now rummaging in a great brass - bound box which stood by [her]_0-i table , but [she]_{129-katharine} did not go to [her]_{380-her mother} help . Of course , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reflected , [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had now lost some paper , and [they]_3495-they would waste the rest of the morning looking for it . [She]_{129-katharine} cast [her]_{129-katharine} eyes down in irritation , and read again [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s musical sentences about the silver gulls , and the roots of little pink flowers washed by pellucid streams , and the blue mists of hyacinths , until [she]_{129-katharine} was struck by [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s silence . [She]_{129-katharine} raised [her]_{129-katharine} eyes . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had emptied a portfolio containing old photographs over [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} table , and was looking from one to another . “_[0-i] Surely , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , “_{[129-katharine]} [the men]_{1189-the men} were far handsomer in those days than [they]_{1189-the men} are now , in spite of [their]_{1189-the men} odious whiskers ? Look at [old John Graham]_{227-old john graham} , in [his]_{227-old john graham} white waistcoat — look at [Uncle Harley]_{228-uncle harley} . That ’s [Peter]_{174-your wicked old uncle judge peter , who used to be heard delivering sentence of death in the bathroom} [the manservant]_{1190-the manservant} , [I]_0-i suppose . [Uncle John]_{158-uncle john} brought [him]_{174-your wicked old uncle judge peter , who used to be heard delivering sentence of death in the bathroom} back from [India]_12-india . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , but did not stir or answer . [She]_{129-katharine} had suddenly become very angry , with a rage which [their]_3501-their relationship made silent , and therefore doubly powerful and critical . [She]_{129-katharine} felt all the unfairness of the claim which [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} tacitly made to [her]_{129-katharine} time and sympathy , and what [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} took , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought bitterly , [she]_{129-katharine} wasted . Then , in a flash , [she]_{129-katharine} remembered that [she]_{129-katharine} had still to tell [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} about [Cyril]_217-cyril ’s misbehavior . [Her]_{129-katharine} anger immediately dissipated itself ; it broke like some wave that has gathered itself high above the rest ; [the waters]_{3503-the waters} were resumed into [the sea]_{829-the sea} again , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt once more full of peace and solicitude , and anxious only that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} should be protected from pain . [She]_{129-katharine} crossed [the room]_{379-the room} instinctively , and sat on the arm of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s chair . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} leant [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} head against [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s body . “_{[158-uncle john]} What is nobler , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mused , turning over the photographs , “_{[158-uncle john]} than to be [a woman to whom every one turns , in sorrow or difficulty]_{1191-a woman to whom every one turns , in sorrow or difficulty} ? How have [the young women of [your]_1193-your generation]_{1192-the young women of your generation} improved upon that , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? [I]_0-i can see [them]_{1192-the young women of your generation} now , sweeping over the lawns at [Melbury House]_{36-melbury house} , in [their]_{1192-the young women of your generation} flounces and furbelows , so calm and stately and imperial ( and the monkey and [the little black dwarf]_{1194-the little black dwarf} following behind ) , as if nothing mattered in [the world]_{478-the world} but to be beautiful and kind . But [they]_{1192-the young women of your generation} did more than [we]_1196-we do , [I]_0-i sometimes think . [They]_{1192-the young women of your generation} were , and that ’s better than doing . [They]_{1192-the young women of your generation} seem to [me]_0-i like [ships]_1197-ships , like [majestic ships]_{1198-majestic ships} , holding on [their]_{1192-the young women of your generation} way , not shoving or pushing , not fretted by little things , as [we]_1196-we are , but taking [their]_{1192-the young women of your generation} way , like [ships with white sails]_{1199-ships with white sails} . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} tried to interrupt this discourse , but the opportunity did not come , and [she]_{129-katharine} could not forbear to turn over the pages of the album in which the old photographs were stored . The faces of [these men]_{3509-these men} and [women]_557-women shone forth wonderfully after the hubbub of living faces , and seemed , as [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had said , to wear a marvelous dignity and calm , as if [they]_{1192-the young women of your generation} had ruled [[their]_{1192-the young women of your generation} kingdoms]_{3512-their kingdoms} justly and deserved great love . Some were of almost incredible beauty , others were ugly enough in a forcible way , but none were dull or bored or insignificant . The superb stiff folds of the crinolines suited [the women]_{3513-the women} ; the cloaks and hats of [the gentlemen]_{3514-the gentlemen} seemed full of character . Once more [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt the serene air all round [her]_{129-katharine} , and seemed far off to hear the solemn beating of [the sea]_{829-the sea} upon [the shore]_{3516-the shore} . But [she]_{129-katharine} knew that [she]_{129-katharine} must join the present on to this past . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was rambling on , from story to story . “_{[229-janie mannering]} That ’s [Janie Mannering]_{229-janie mannering} , ” [she]_0-i said , pointing to [a superb , white - haired dame , whose satin robes seemed strung with pearls]_{3517-a superb , white - haired dame , whose satin robes seemed strung with pearls} . “_{[229-janie mannering]} [I]_0-i must have told [you]_1200-you how [she]_{229-janie mannering} found [her]_{229-janie mannering} cook drunk under the kitchen table when [the Empress]_{1201-the empress} was coming to dinner , and tucked up [her]_{229-janie mannering} velvet sleeves ( [she]_{229-janie mannering} always dressed like [an Empress]_{1202-an empress} [herself]_{229-janie mannering} ) , cooked the whole meal , and appeared in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} as if [she]_{229-janie mannering} ’d been sleeping on a bank of roses all day . [She]_{229-janie mannering} could do anything with [her]_{229-janie mannering} hands — [they]_1204-them all could — make [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} or embroider a petticoat . “ And that ’s [Queenie Colquhoun]_{230-queenie colquhoun} , ”_[0-i] [she]_0-i went on , turning the pages , “ who took [her]_{230-queenie colquhoun} coffin out with [her]_{230-queenie colquhoun} to [Jamaica]_37-jamaica , packed with lovely shawls and bonnets , because [you]_1200-you could n’t get coffins in [Jamaica]_37-jamaica , and [she]_{230-queenie colquhoun} had a horror of dying there ( as [she]_{230-queenie colquhoun} did ) , and being devoured by the white ants . And there ’s [Sabine]_231-sabine , the loveliest of [them]_1204-them all ; ah ! it was like a star rising when [she]_231-sabine came into [the room]_{379-the room} . And that ’s [Miriam]_232-miriam , in [her]_232-miriam coachman ’s cloak , with all the little capes on , and [she]_232-miriam wore great top - boots underneath . [[You]_1200-you young people]_{3519-you young people} may say [you]_1200-you ’re unconventional , but [you]_1200-you ’re nothing compared with [her]_232-miriam . ”_[0-i] Turning the page , [she]_0-i came upon the picture of [a very masculine , handsome lady , whose head [the photographer had adorned with an imperial crown]_{1207-the photographer had adorned with an imperial crown}]_{1206-a very masculine , handsome lady , whose head the photographer had adorned with an imperial crown} . “ Ah , [[you]_1200-you wretch]_{3520-you wretch} ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed , “ what [a wicked old despot]_{3521-a wicked old despot} [you]_1200-you were , in [your]_1200-you day ! How [we]_1204-them all bowed down before [you]_1200-you ! ‘ [Maggie]_233-maggie , ’ [she]_232-miriam used to say , ‘ if it had n’t been for [me]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , where would [you]_233-maggie be now ? ’ And it was true ; [she]_232-miriam brought [them]_1204-them together , [you]_1200-you know . [She]_232-miriam said to [[my]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{2986-my father} , ‘ Marry [her]_232-miriam , ’ and [he]_{2986-my father} did ; and [she]_232-miriam said to [poor little Clara]_{234-poor little clara} , ‘ Fall down and worship [him]_{2986-my father} , ’ and [she]_232-miriam did ; but [she]_232-miriam got up again , of course . What else could [one]_422-one expect ? [She]_232-miriam was [a mere child — eighteen — and half dead with fright]_{3524-a mere child — eighteen — and half dead with fright} , too . But [that old tyrant]_{3525-that old tyrant} never repented . [She]_232-miriam used to say that [she]_232-miriam had given [them]_1204-them three perfect months , and [no one]_{2921-no one} had a right to more ; and [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sometimes think , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , that ’s true , [you]_{129-katharine} know . It ’s more than most of [us]_3527-us have , only [we]_3527-us have to pretend , which was a thing neither of [them]_1204-them could ever do . [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} fancy , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mused , “ that there was a kind of sincerity in those days between [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women which , with all [your]_{129-katharine} outspokenness , [you]_{129-katharine} have n’t got . ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} again tried to interrupt . But [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had been gathering impetus from [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} recollections , and was now in high spirits . “ [They]_3530-we must have been [good friends]_{3531-good friends} at heart , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} resumed , “ because [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} used to sing [his]_{406-her father} songs . Ah , how did it go ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , who had a very sweet voice , trolled out a famous lyric of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{406-her father} ’s which had been set to an absurdly and charmingly sentimental air by [some early Victorian composer]_{1209-some early victorian composer} . “ It ’s the vitality of [them]_3530-we ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} concluded , striking [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} fist against the table . “ That ’s what [we]_3530-we have n’t got ! [We]_3530-we ’re virtuous , [we]_3530-we ’re earnest , [we]_3530-we go to meetings , [we]_3530-we pay [the poor]_{3222-the poor} [their]_{3222-the poor} wages , but [we]_3530-we do n’t live as [they]_{3222-the poor} lived . As often as not , [[my]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{2986-my father} was n’t in bed three nights out of the seven , but always fresh as paint in the morning . [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} hear [him]_{2986-my father} now , come singing up the stairs to [the nursery]_{704-the nursery} , and tossing the loaf for breakfast on [his]_{2986-my father} sword - stick , and then off [we]_3530-we went for a day ’s pleasuring — [Richmond]_38-richmond , [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} , [the Surrey Hills]_{40-the surrey hills} . Why should n’t [we]_3530-we go , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? It ’s going to be a fine day . ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} At this moment , just as [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was examining the weather from the window , there was a knock at the door . [A slight , elderly lady]_{1210-a slight , elderly lady} came in , and was saluted by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with very evident dismay , as “ [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ! ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} was dismayed because [she]_{129-katharine} guessed why [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} had come . It was certainly in order to discuss the case of [Cyril]_217-cyril and [the woman who was not [[his]_217-cyril wife]_{2946-his wife}]_{1211-the woman who was not his wife} , and owing to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} procrastination [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was quite unprepared . Who could be more unprepared ? Here [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was , suggesting that [all three of [them]_{1213-all three of them}]_{1213-all three of them} should go on a jaunt to [Blackfriars]_{41-blackfriars} to inspect [the site of [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s theater]_{1214-the site of shakespeare ’s theater} , for the weather was hardly settled enough for [the country]_{761-the country} . To this proposal [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} listened with a patient smile , which indicated that for many years [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had accepted such eccentricities in [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} with bland philosophy . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} took up [her]_{129-katharine} position at some distance , standing with [her]_{129-katharine} foot on the fender , as though by so doing [she]_{129-katharine} could get a better view of the matter . But , in spite of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} ’s presence , how unreal the whole question of [Cyril]_217-cyril and [his]_217-cyril morality appeared ! The difficulty , it now seemed , was not to break the news gently to [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , but to make [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} understand it . How was one to lasso [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind , and tether it to this minute , unimportant spot ? A matter - of - fact statement seemed best . “ [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} think [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} has come to talk about [Cyril]_217-cyril , [mother]_2916-mother , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said rather brutally . “ [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} has discovered that [Cyril]_217-cyril is married . [He]_217-cyril has [a wife]_{3536-a wife} and [children]_{3537-children} . ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} “ No , [he]_217-cyril is not married , ”_{[218-mrs. milvain]} [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} interposed , in low tones , addressing [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} to [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “ [He]_217-cyril has [two children]_{3538-two children} , and another on the way . ”_{[218-mrs. milvain]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked from [one]_422-one to the other in bewilderment . “ [We]_3539-we thought it better to wait until it was proved before [we]_3539-we told [you]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} added . “ But [I]_{129-katharine} met [Cyril]_217-cyril only a fortnight ago at [the National Gallery]_{3540-the national gallery} ! ”_{[129-katharine]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “ [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} do n’t believe a word of it , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} and [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} tossed [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} head with a smile on [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} lips at [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , as though [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} could quite understand [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} mistake , which was a very natural mistake , in the case of [a childless woman]_{1219-a childless woman} , whose husband was something very dull in [the Board of Trade]_{1220-the board of trade} . “ [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} did n’t wish to believe it , [Maggie]_233-maggie , ”_{[218-mrs. milvain]} said [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} . “ For a long time [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} could n’t believe it . But now [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} ’ve seen , and [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} have to believe it . ”_{[218-mrs. milvain]} “ [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} demanded , “ does [[your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} know of this ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} nodded . “ [Cyril]_217-cyril married ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} repeated . “ And never telling [us]_3542-us a word , though [we]_3542-us ’ve had [him]_217-cyril in [[our]_3542-us house]_{3543-our house} since [he]_217-cyril was [a child]_{541-a child} — [[noble William]_176-rodney ’s son]_{3545-noble william ’s son} ! [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ca n’t believe [my]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ears ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} Feeling that the burden of proof was laid upon [her]_{129-katharine} , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} now proceeded with [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} story . [She]_{129-katharine} was elderly and fragile , but [her]_{129-katharine} childlessness seemed always to impose these painful duties on [her]_{129-katharine} , and to revere [the family]_{667-the family} , and to keep it in repair , had now become the chief object of [her]_{129-katharine} life . [She]_{129-katharine} told [her]_{129-katharine} story in a low , spasmodic , and somewhat broken voice . “ [I]_{129-katharine} have suspected for some time that [he]_217-cyril was not happy . There were new lines on [his]_217-cyril face . So [I]_{129-katharine} went to [[his]_217-cyril rooms]_{985-his rooms} , when [I]_{129-katharine} knew [he]_217-cyril was engaged at [[the poor men]_{3547-the poor men} ’s college]_{3548-the poor men ’s college} . [He]_217-cyril lectures [there]_2927-there — Roman law , [you]_3550-you know , or it may be Greek . [The landlady]_{3551-the landlady} said [Mr. Alardyce]_{235-mr. alardyce} only slept [there]_2927-there about once a fortnight now . [He]_217-cyril looked so ill , [she]_{3551-the landlady} said . [She]_{3551-the landlady} had seen [him]_217-cyril with [a young person]_{3553-a young person} . [I]_{129-katharine} suspected something directly . [I]_{129-katharine} went to [[his]_217-cyril room]_{521-his room} , and there was an envelope on the mantelpiece , and a letter with an address in [Seton Street]_{43-seton street} , off [the Kennington Road]_{3555-the kennington road} . ”_{[129-katharine]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} fidgeted rather restlessly , and hummed fragments of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} tune , as if to interrupt . “ [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} went to [Seton Street]_{43-seton street} , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} continued firmly . “ [A very low place — [lodging - houses]_{3557-lodging - houses} , [you]_{130-mrs. hilbery} know , with canaries in the window]_{3556-a very low place — lodging - houses , you know , with canaries in the window} . Number seven just like all the others . [I]_{219-aunt celia} rang , [I]_{219-aunt celia} knocked ; [no one]_{2921-no one} came . [I]_{219-aunt celia} went down [the area]_{3559-the area} . [I]_{219-aunt celia} am certain [I]_{219-aunt celia} saw [some one inside]_{3560-some one inside} — [children — a cradle]_{3561-children — a cradle} . But no reply — no reply . ”_{[219-aunt celia]} [She]_{219-aunt celia} sighed , and looked straight in front of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} with a glazed expression in [her]_{219-aunt celia} half - veiled blue eyes . “ [I]_{219-aunt celia} stood in [the street]_{397-the street} , ”_{[219-aunt celia]} [she]_{219-aunt celia} resumed , “ in case [I]_{219-aunt celia} could catch a sight of [one of [them]_{3560-some one inside}]_{895-one of them} . It seemed a very long time . There were [rough men]_{3564-rough men} singing in [the public - house round the corner]_{3565-the public - house round the corner} . At last the door opened , and [some one]_{376-some one} — it must have been [the woman]_{3394-the woman} [herself]_{3394-the woman} — came right past [me]_{219-aunt celia} . There was only the pillar - box between [us]_3568-us . ”_{[219-aunt celia]} “ And what did [she]_{3394-the woman} look like ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} demanded . “ [One]_422-one could see how [the poor boy]_{1156-the poor boy} had been deluded , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} was all that [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} vouchsafed by way of description . “ [Poor thing]_{3571-poor thing} ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “ [Poor Cyril]_236-cyril ! ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} said , laying a slight emphasis upon [Cyril]_236-cyril . “ But [they]_{3560-some one inside} ’ve got nothing to live upon , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued . “ If [he]_236-cyril ’d come to [us]_3568-us like [a man]_{1147-a man} , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} went on , “ and said , ‘ [I]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’ve been [a fool]_{3573-a fool} , ’ one would have pitied [him]_236-cyril ; [one]_422-one would have tried to help [him]_236-cyril . There ’s nothing so disgraceful after all — But [he]_236-cyril ’s been going about all these years , pretending , letting [one]_422-one take it for granted , that [he]_236-cyril was single . And [the poor deserted little wife]_{3576-the poor deserted little wife} — ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} “ [She]_{3576-the poor deserted little wife} is not [[his]_236-cyril wife]_{2946-his wife} , ”_{[219-aunt celia]} [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} interrupted . “ [I]_{219-aunt celia} ’ve never heard anything so detestable ! ”_{[219-aunt celia]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} wound up , striking [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} fist on the arm of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} chair . As [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} realized the facts [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} became thoroughly disgusted , although , perhaps , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was more hurt by the concealment of the sin than by the sin itself . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked splendidly roused and indignant ; and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt an immense relief and pride in [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} . It was plain that [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} indignation was very genuine , and that [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind was as perfectly focused upon the facts as [any one]_{2939-any one} could wish — more so , by a long way , than [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ’s mind , which seemed to be timidly circling , with a morbid pleasure , in these unpleasant shades . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mother]_{380-her mother} together would take the situation in hand , visit [Cyril]_236-cyril , and see the whole thing through . “ [We]_3578-we must realize [Cyril]_236-cyril ’s point of view first , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , speaking directly to [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mother]_{380-her mother} , as if to [a contemporary]_{1226-a contemporary} , but before the words were out of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mouth , there was more confusion outside , and [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} , [[Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s maiden cousin]_{1227-mrs. hilbery ’s maiden cousin} , entered [the room]_{379-the room} . Although [she]_{237-cousin caroline} was by birth an [Alardyce]_{235-mr. alardyce} , and [Aunt Celia a Hilbery]_{219-aunt celia} , the complexities of the family relationship were such that [each]_3310-each was at once first and second cousin to [the other]_{1230-the other} , and thus [aunt]_1231-aunt and [cousin]_1232-cousin to [the culprit]_{1233-the culprit} [Cyril]_236-cyril , so that [his]_236-cyril misbehavior was almost as much [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} ’s affair as [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ’s . [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} was [a lady of very imposing height and circumference]_{1234-a lady of very imposing height and circumference} , but in spite of [her]_{237-cousin caroline} size and [her]_{237-cousin caroline} handsome trappings , there was something exposed and unsheltered in [her]_{237-cousin caroline} expression , as if for many summers [her]_{237-cousin caroline} thin red skin and hooked nose and reduplication of chins , so much resembling the profile of a cockatoo , had been bared to the weather ; [she]_{237-cousin caroline} was , indeed , [a single lady]_{1235-a single lady} ; but [she]_{237-cousin caroline} had , it was the habit to say , “ made a life for [herself]_{237-cousin caroline} , ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} and was thus entitled to be heard with respect . “ This unhappy business , ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} [she]_{237-cousin caroline} began , out of breath as [she]_{237-cousin caroline} was . “ If [the train]_{510-the train} had not gone out of [the station]_{3580-the station} just as [I]_{237-cousin caroline} arrived , [I]_{237-cousin caroline} should have been with [you]_3581-you before . [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} has doubtless told [you]_3581-you . [You]_3581-you will agree with [me]_{237-cousin caroline} , [Maggie]_233-maggie . [He]_3582-he must be made to marry [her]_{219-aunt celia} at once for the sake of [the children]_{3583-the children} — ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} “ But does [he]_3582-he refuse to marry [her]_{219-aunt celia} ? ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} inquired , with a return of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} bewilderment . “ [He]_3582-he has written an absurd perverted letter , all quotations , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} puffed . “ [He]_3582-he thinks [he]_3582-he ’s doing a very fine thing , where [we]_3584-we only see the folly of it .... [The girl]_{413-the girl} ’s every bit as infatuated as [he]_3582-he is — for which [I]_{237-cousin caroline} blame [him]_3582-he . ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} “ [She]_{219-aunt celia} entangled [him]_3582-he , ”_{[219-aunt celia]} [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} intervened , with a very curious smoothness of intonation , which seemed to convey a vision of threads weaving and interweaving a close , white mesh round [their]_1236-their victim . “ It ’s no use going into the rights and wrongs of the affair now , [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} said [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} with some acerbity , for [she]_{237-cousin caroline} believed [herself]_{237-cousin caroline} [the only practical one of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{1237-the only practical one of the family} , and regretted that , owing to the slowness of the kitchen clock , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} had already confused [poor dear Maggie]_233-maggie with [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} own incomplete version of the facts . “ The mischief ’s done , and very ugly mischief too . Are [we]_3584-we to allow [the third child]_{3586-the third child} to be born out of wedlock ? ( [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} am sorry to have to say these things before [you]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ) [He]_{3586-the third child} will bear [your]_{129-katharine} name , [Maggie]_233-maggie — [[your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} ’s name , remember . ”_{[218-mrs. milvain]} “ But let [us]_3584-we hope it will be [a girl]_{3588-a girl} , ”_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who had been looking at [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} constantly , while the chatter of tongues held sway , perceived that the look of straightforward indignation had already vanished ; [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} was evidently casting about in [her]_{380-her mother} mind for some method of escape , or bright spot , or sudden illumination which should show to the satisfaction of [everybody]_{1241-everybody} that all had happened , miraculously but incontestably , for the best . “ It ’s detestable — quite detestable ! ”_{[380-her mother]} [she]_{380-her mother} repeated , but in tones of no great assurance ; and then [her]_{380-her mother} face lit up with a smile which , tentative at first , soon became almost assured . “ Nowadays , [people]_383-people do n’t think so badly of these things as [they]_383-people used to do , ”_{[380-her mother]} [she]_{380-her mother} began . “ It will be horribly uncomfortable for [them]_383-people sometimes , but if [they]_383-people are [brave , clever children]_{3590-brave , clever children} , as [they]_383-people will be , [I]_{380-her mother} dare say it ’ll make [remarkable people]_{3591-remarkable people} of [them]_383-people in the end . [Robert Browning]_163-gilbert used to say that [every great man]_{3592-every great man} has Jewish blood in [him]_163-gilbert , and [we]_3593-we must try to look at it in that light . And , after all , [Cyril]_236-cyril has acted on principle . [One]_238-one may disagree with [his]_236-cyril principle , but , at least , [one]_422-one can respect it — like the French Revolution , or [Cromwell]_239-cromwell cutting [the King]_{3595-the king} ’s head off . Some of the most terrible things in history have been done on principle , ”_{[380-her mother]} [she]_{380-her mother} concluded . “ [I]_{380-her mother} ’m afraid [I]_{380-her mother} take a very different view of principle , ”_{[380-her mother]} [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} remarked tartly . “ Principle ! ”_{[237-cousin caroline]} [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} repeated , with an air of deprecating such a word in such a connection . “ [I]_{380-her mother} will go to - morrow and see [him]_236-cyril , ”_{[380-her mother]} [she]_{380-her mother} added . “ But why should [you]_{129-katharine} take these disagreeable things upon [yourself]_{129-katharine} , [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ? ”_{[380-her mother]} [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} interposed , and [Cousin Caroline]_{237-cousin caroline} thereupon protested with some further plan involving sacrifice of [herself]_{237-cousin caroline} . Growing weary of it all , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned to the window , and stood among the folds of the curtain , pressing close to the window - pane , and gazing disconsolately at [the river]_{945-the river} much in the attitude of [a child]_{541-a child} depressed by the meaningless talk of [its elders]_{3244-its elders} . [She]_{129-katharine} was much disappointed in [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} — and in [herself]_{129-katharine} too . The little tug which [she]_{129-katharine} gave to the blind , letting it fly up to the top with a snap , signified [her]_{129-katharine} annoyance . [She]_{129-katharine} was very angry , and yet impotent to give expression to [her]_{129-katharine} anger , or know with whom [she]_{129-katharine} was angry . How [they]_1246-their talked and moralized and made up stories to suit [their]_1246-their own version of the becoming , and secretly praised [their]_1246-their own devotion and tact ! No ; [they]_1246-their had [their]_1246-their dwelling in a mist , [she]_{129-katharine} decided ; hundreds of miles away — away from what ? “ Perhaps it would be better if [I]_{129-katharine} married [William]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} thought suddenly , and the thought appeared to loom through the mist like solid ground . [She]_{129-katharine} stood there , thinking of [her]_{129-katharine} own destiny , and [the elder ladies]_{1247-the elder ladies} talked on , until [they]_{1247-the elder ladies} had talked [themselves]_{1247-the elder ladies} into a decision to ask [the young woman]_{1248-the young woman} to luncheon , and tell [her]_{1248-the young woman} , very friendlily , how such behavior appeared to women like [themselves]_1246-their , who knew [the world]_{478-the world} . And then [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was struck by a better idea . [Messrs. Grateley]_{240-messrs. grateley} and [Hooper]_241-hooper , [the solicitors in whose firm [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph was [clerk]_1251-clerk]_{1250-the solicitors in whose firm ralph denham was clerk} , had [[their]_{1250-the solicitors in whose firm ralph denham was clerk} office in [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields}]_{1252-their office in lincoln ’s inn fields} , and there [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph appeared every morning very punctually at ten o’clock . [His]_154-ralph punctuality , together with other qualities , marked [him]_154-ralph out among [the clerks for success]_{1253-the clerks for success} , and indeed it would have been safe to wager that in ten years ’ time or so one would find [him]_154-ralph at the head of [his]_154-ralph profession , had it not been for a peculiarity which sometimes seemed to make everything about [him]_154-ralph uncertain and perilous . [[His]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} [Joan]_156-joan had already been disturbed by [his]_154-ralph love of gambling with [his]_154-ralph savings . Scrutinizing [him]_154-ralph constantly with the eye of affection , [she]_156-joan had become aware of a curious perversity in [his]_154-ralph temperament which caused [her]_156-joan much anxiety , and would have caused [her]_156-joan still more if [she]_156-joan had not recognized the germs of it in [her]_156-joan own nature . [She]_156-joan could fancy [Ralph]_154-ralph suddenly sacrificing [his]_154-ralph entire career for some fantastic imagination ; some cause or idea or even ( so [her]_156-joan fancy ran ) for [some woman seen from [a railway train]_{1256-a railway train} , hanging up clothes in [a back yard]_{1257-a back yard}]_{1255-some woman seen from a railway train , hanging up clothes in a back yard} . When [he]_154-ralph had found this beauty or this cause , no force , [she]_156-joan knew , would avail to restrain [him]_154-ralph from pursuit of it . [She]_156-joan suspected [the East]_{1258-the east} also , and always fidgeted [herself]_156-joan when [she]_156-joan saw [him]_154-ralph with a book of Indian travels in [his]_154-ralph hand , as though [he]_154-ralph were sucking contagion from the page . On the other hand , no common love affair , had there been such a thing , would have caused [her]_156-joan a moment ’s uneasiness where [Ralph]_154-ralph was concerned . [He]_154-ralph was destined in [her]_156-joan fancy for something splendid in the way of success or failure , [she]_156-joan knew not which . And yet [nobody]_2970-nobody could have worked harder or done better in all the recognized stages of [a young man]_{378-a young man} ’s life than [Ralph]_154-ralph had done , and [Joan]_156-joan had to gather materials for [her]_156-joan fears from trifles in [[her]_156-joan brother]_{581-her brother} ’s behavior which would have escaped any other eye . It was natural that [she]_156-joan should be anxious . Life had been so arduous for all of [them]_1262-them from the start that [she]_156-joan could not help dreading any sudden relaxation of [his]_154-ralph grasp upon what [he]_154-ralph held , though , as [she]_156-joan knew from inspection of [her]_156-joan own life , such sudden impulse to let go and make away from the discipline and the drudgery was sometimes almost irresistible . But with [Ralph]_154-ralph , if [he]_154-ralph broke away , [she]_156-joan knew that it would be only to put [himself]_154-ralph under harsher constraint ; [she]_156-joan figured [him]_154-ralph toiling through [sandy deserts]_{1263-sandy deserts} under a tropical sun to find the source of [some river]_{1264-some river} or [the haunt of some fly]_{1265-the haunt of some fly} ; [she]_156-joan figured [him]_154-ralph living by the labor of [his]_154-ralph hands in [some city slum]_{1266-some city slum} , [the victim of one of those terrible theories of right and wrong which were current at the time]_{1267-the victim of one of those terrible theories of right and wrong which were current at the time} ; [she]_156-joan figured [him]_154-ralph prisoner for life in [the house of [a woman who had seduced [him]_154-ralph by [her]_{1269-a woman who had seduced him by her misfortunes} misfortunes]_{1269-a woman who had seduced him by her misfortunes}]_{1268-the house of a woman who had seduced him by her misfortunes} . Half proudly , and wholly anxiously , [she]_156-joan framed such thoughts , as [they]_1270-they sat , late at night , talking together over the gas - stove in [[Ralph]_154-ralph ’s bedroom]_{1271-ralph ’s bedroom} . It is likely that [Ralph]_154-ralph would not have recognized [his]_154-ralph own dream of a future in the forecasts which disturbed [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} ’s peace of mind . Certainly , if any one of [them]_1273-them had been put before [him]_154-ralph [he]_154-ralph would have rejected it with a laugh , as the sort of life that held no attractions for [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph could not have said how it was that [he]_154-ralph had put these absurd notions into [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} ’s head . Indeed , [he]_154-ralph prided [himself]_154-ralph upon being well broken into a life of hard work , about which [he]_154-ralph had no sort of illusions . [His]_154-ralph vision of [his]_154-ralph own future , unlike many such forecasts , could have been made public at any moment without a blush ; [he]_154-ralph attributed to [himself]_154-ralph a strong brain , and conferred on [himself]_154-ralph a seat in [the House of Commons]_{1275-the house of commons} at the age of fifty , a moderate fortune , and , with luck , an unimportant office in a Liberal Government . There was nothing extravagant in a forecast of that kind , and certainly nothing dishonorable . Nevertheless , as [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} guessed , it needed all [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s strength of will , together with the pressure of circumstances , to keep [his]_154-ralph feet moving in the path which led that way . It needed , in particular , a constant repetition of a phrase to the effect that [he]_154-ralph shared the common fate , found it best of all , and wished for no other ; and by repeating such phrases [he]_154-ralph acquired punctuality and habits of work , and could very plausibly demonstrate that to be [a clerk in [[a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} ’s office]_{1279-a solicitor ’s office}]_{1277-a clerk in a solicitor ’s office} was the best of all possible lives , and that other ambitions were vain . But , like all beliefs not genuinely held , this one depended very much upon the amount of acceptance it received from [other people]_{2964-other people} , and in private , when the pressure of public opinion was removed , [Ralph]_154-ralph let [himself]_154-ralph swing very rapidly away from [his]_154-ralph actual circumstances upon strange voyages which , indeed , [he]_154-ralph would have been ashamed to describe . In these dreams , of course , [he]_154-ralph figured in noble and romantic parts , but self - glorification was not the only motive of them . [They]_1281-they gave outlet to [some spirit which found no work to do in real life]_{1282-some spirit which found no work to do in real life} , for , with the pessimism which [his]_154-ralph lot forced upon [him]_154-ralph , [Ralph]_154-ralph had made up [his]_154-ralph mind that there was no use for what , contemptuously enough , [he]_154-ralph called dreams , in [the world which [we]_1284-we inhabit]_{1283-the world which we inhabit} . It sometimes seemed to [him]_154-ralph that this spirit was the most valuable possession [he]_154-ralph had ; [he]_154-ralph thought that by means of it [he]_154-ralph could set [flowering waste tracts of [the earth]_{2936-the earth}]_{1285-flowering waste tracts of the earth} , cure many ills , or raise up beauty where none now existed ; it was , too , a fierce and potent spirit which would devour the dusty books and parchments on the office wall with one lick of its tongue , and leave [him]_154-ralph in a minute standing in nakedness , if [he]_154-ralph gave way to it . [His]_154-ralph endeavor , for many years , had been to control the spirit , and at the age of twenty - nine [he]_154-ralph thought [he]_154-ralph could pride [himself]_154-ralph upon a life rigidly divided into the hours of work and those of dreams ; [the two]_{1287-the two} lived side by side without harming [each other]_{451-each other} . As a matter of fact , this effort at discipline had been helped by the interests of a difficult profession , but the old conclusion to which [Ralph]_154-ralph had come when [he]_154-ralph left [college]_1289-college still held sway in [his]_154-ralph mind , and tinged [his]_154-ralph views with the melancholy belief that life for [most people]_{3005-most people} compels the exercise of the lower gifts and wastes the precious ones , until it forces [us]_1291-us to agree that there is little virtue , as well as little profit , in what once seemed to [us]_1291-us the noblest part of [our]_1291-us inheritance . [Denham]_154-ralph was not altogether popular either in [[his]_154-ralph office]_{1292-his office} or among [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} . [He]_154-ralph was too positive , at this stage of [his]_154-ralph career , as to what was right and what wrong , too proud of [his]_154-ralph self - control , and , as is natural in the case of persons not altogether happy or well suited in [their]_{3005-most people} conditions , too apt to prove the folly of contentment , if [he]_154-ralph found [any one who confessed to that weakness]_{1294-any one who confessed to that weakness} . In [the office]_{3177-the office} [his]_154-ralph rather ostentatious efficiency annoyed those who took [their]_{3005-most people} own work more lightly , and , if [they]_{3005-most people} foretold [his]_154-ralph advancement , it was not altogether sympathetically . Indeed , [he]_154-ralph appeared to be rather [a hard and self - sufficient young man , with a queer temper , and manners that were uncompromisingly abrupt]_{1296-a hard and self - sufficient young man , with a queer temper , and manners that were uncompromisingly abrupt} , who was consumed with a desire to get on in [the world]_{478-the world} , which was natural , [these critics]_{1298-these critics} thought , in [a man of no means , but not engaging]_{1299-a man of no means , but not engaging} . [The young men in the office]_{1300-the young men in the office} had a perfect right to these opinions , because [Denham]_154-ralph showed no particular desire for [their]_{1300-the young men in the office} friendship . [He]_154-ralph liked [them]_{1300-the young men in the office} well enough , but shut [them]_{1300-the young men in the office} up in that compartment of life which was devoted to work . Hitherto , indeed , [he]_154-ralph had found little difficulty in arranging [his]_154-ralph life as methodically as [he]_154-ralph arranged [his]_154-ralph expenditure , but about this time [he]_154-ralph began to encounter experiences which were not so easy to classify . [Mary Datchet]_175-mary had begun this confusion two years ago by bursting into laughter at some remark of [his]_154-ralph , almost the first time [they]_1301-they met . [She]_175-mary could not explain why it was . [She]_175-mary thought [him]_154-ralph quite astonishingly odd . When [he]_154-ralph knew [her]_175-mary well enough to tell [her]_175-mary how [he]_154-ralph spent Monday and Wednesday and Saturday , [she]_175-mary was still more amused ; [she]_175-mary laughed till [he]_154-ralph laughed , too , without knowing why . It seemed to [her]_175-mary very odd that [he]_154-ralph should know as much about breeding bulldogs as [any man in [England]_5-england]_{3438-any man in england} ; that [he]_154-ralph had a collection of wild flowers found near [London]_2-london ; and [his]_154-ralph weekly visit to [old Miss Trotter]_{242-old miss trotter} at [Ealing]_44-ealing , who was [an authority upon the science of Heraldry]_{1303-an authority upon the science of heraldry} , never failed to excite [her]_175-mary laughter . [She]_175-mary wanted to know everything , even the kind of cake which [the old lady]_{1304-the old lady} supplied on these occasions ; and [their]_1305-their summer excursions to churches in [the neighborhood of [London]_2-london]_{1306-the neighborhood of london} for the purpose of taking rubbings of the brasses became most important festivals , from the interest [she]_175-mary took in them . In six months [she]_175-mary knew more about [[his]_154-ralph odd friends]_{1307-his odd friends} and hobbies than [[his]_154-ralph own brothers]_{1308-his own brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters knew , after living with [him]_154-ralph all [his]_154-ralph life ; and [Ralph]_154-ralph found this very pleasant , though disordering , for [his]_154-ralph own view of [himself]_154-ralph had always been profoundly serious . Certainly it was very pleasant to be with [Mary Datchet]_175-mary and to become , directly the door was shut , quite [a different sort of person , eccentric and lovable , with scarcely any likeness to the self most people]_{1310-a different sort of person , eccentric and lovable , with scarcely any likeness to the self most people} knew . [He]_154-ralph became less serious , and rather less dictatorial at [home]_2992-home , for [he]_154-ralph was apt to hear [Mary]_175-mary laughing at [him]_154-ralph , and telling [him]_154-ralph , as [she]_175-mary was fond of doing , that [he]_154-ralph knew nothing at all about anything . [She]_175-mary made [him]_154-ralph , also , take an interest in public questions , for which [she]_175-mary had a natural liking ; and was in process of turning [him]_154-ralph from [Tory]_243-tory to [Radical]_244-radical , after a course of public meetings , which began by boring [him]_154-ralph acutely , and ended by exciting [him]_154-ralph even more than they excited [her]_175-mary . But [he]_154-ralph was reserved ; when ideas started up in [his]_154-ralph mind , [he]_154-ralph divided them automatically into those [he]_154-ralph could discuss with [Mary]_175-mary , and those [he]_154-ralph must keep for [himself]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary knew this and it interested [her]_175-mary , for [she]_175-mary was accustomed to find [young men]_{846-young men} very ready to talk about [themselves]_{846-young men} , and had come to listen to [them]_{846-young men} as [one]_422-one listens to [children]_{3537-children} , without any thought of [herself]_175-mary . But with [Ralph]_154-ralph , [she]_175-mary had very little of this maternal feeling , and , in consequence , a much keener sense of [her]_175-mary own individuality . Late one afternoon [Ralph]_154-ralph stepped along [the Strand]_{811-the strand} to an interview with [a lawyer]_{1316-a lawyer} upon business . The afternoon light was almost over , and already streams of greenish and yellowish artificial light were being poured into an atmosphere which , in [country lanes]_{1317-country lanes} , would now have been soft with the smoke of wood fires ; and on both sides of [the road]_{941-the road} the shop windows were full of sparkling chains and highly polished leather cases , which stood upon shelves made of thick plate - glass . None of these different objects was seen separately by [Denham]_154-ralph , but from all of them [he]_154-ralph drew an impression of stir and cheerfulness . Thus it came about that [he]_154-ralph saw [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} coming towards [him]_154-ralph , and looked straight at [her]_{129-katharine} , as if [she]_{129-katharine} were only an illustration of the argument that was going forward in [his]_154-ralph mind . In this spirit [he]_154-ralph noticed the rather set expression in [her]_{129-katharine} eyes , and the slight , half - conscious movement of [her]_{129-katharine} lips , which , together with [her]_{129-katharine} height and the distinction of [her]_{129-katharine} dress , made [her]_{129-katharine} look as if [the scurrying crowd]_{1319-the scurrying crowd} impeded [her]_{129-katharine} , and [her]_{129-katharine} direction were different from [theirs]_1320-theirs . [He]_154-ralph noticed this calmly ; but suddenly , as [he]_154-ralph passed [her]_{129-katharine} , [his]_154-ralph hands and knees began to tremble , and [his]_154-ralph heart beat painfully . [She]_{129-katharine} did not see [him]_154-ralph , and went on repeating to [herself]_{129-katharine} some lines which had stuck to [her]_{129-katharine} memory : “ It ’s life that matters , nothing but life — the process of discovering — the everlasting and perpetual process , not the discovery itself at all . ”_{[129-katharine]} Thus occupied , [she]_{129-katharine} did not see [Denham]_154-ralph , and [he]_154-ralph had not the courage to stop [her]_{129-katharine} . But immediately [the whole scene in the Strand]_{1321-the whole scene in the strand} wore that curious look of order and purpose which is imparted to the most heterogeneous things when music sounds ; and so pleasant was this impression that [he]_154-ralph was very glad that [he]_154-ralph had not stopped [her]_{129-katharine} , after all . It grew slowly fainter , but lasted until [he]_154-ralph stood outside [[the barrister]_{1322-the barrister} ’s chambers]_{1323-the barrister ’s chambers} . When [his]_154-ralph interview with [the barrister]_{1322-the barrister} was over , it was too late to go back to [the office]_{3177-the office} . [His]_154-ralph sight of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had put [him]_154-ralph queerly out of tune for a domestic evening . Where should [he]_154-ralph go ? To walk through [the streets of [London]_2-london]_{1326-the streets of london} until [he]_154-ralph came to [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s house]_{1327-katharine ’s house} , to look up at the windows and fancy [her]_{129-katharine} within , seemed to [him]_154-ralph possible for a moment ; and then [he]_154-ralph rejected the plan almost with a blush as , with a curious division of consciousness , one plucks a flower sentimentally and throws it away , with a blush , when it is actually picked . No , [he]_154-ralph would go and see [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . By this time [she]_175-mary would be back from [her]_175-mary work . To see [Ralph]_154-ralph appear unexpectedly in [[her]_175-mary room]_{798-her room} threw [Mary]_175-mary for a second off [her]_175-mary balance . [She]_175-mary had been cleaning knives in [[her]_175-mary little scullery]_{1329-her little scullery} , and when [she]_175-mary had let [him]_154-ralph in [she]_175-mary went back again , and turned on the cold - water tap to its fullest volume , and then turned it off again . “ Now , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary thought to [herself]_175-mary , as [she]_175-mary screwed it tight , “ [I]_175-mary ’m not going to let these silly ideas come into [my]_175-mary head .... Do n’t [you]_154-ralph think [Mr. Asquith]_{245-mr. asquith} deserves to be hanged ? ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary called back into [the sitting - room]_{1330-the sitting - room} , and when [she]_175-mary joined [him]_154-ralph , drying [her]_175-mary hands , [she]_175-mary began to tell [him]_154-ralph about the latest evasion on the part of [the Government]_{1331-the government} with respect to the Women ’s Suffrage Bill . [Ralph]_154-ralph did not want to talk about politics , but [he]_154-ralph could not help respecting [Mary]_175-mary for taking such an interest in public questions . [He]_154-ralph looked at [her]_175-mary as [she]_175-mary leant forward , poking the fire , and expressing [herself]_175-mary very clearly in phrases which bore distantly the taint of the platform , and [he]_154-ralph thought , “ How absurd [Mary]_175-mary would think [me]_154-ralph if [she]_175-mary knew that [I]_154-ralph almost made up [my]_154-ralph mind to walk all the way to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea in order to look at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s windows . [She]_175-mary would n’t understand it , but [I]_154-ralph like [her]_175-mary very much as [she]_175-mary is . ”_[154-ralph] For some time [they]_1332-they discussed what [the women]_{3513-the women} had better do ; and as [Ralph]_154-ralph became genuinely interested in the question , [Mary]_175-mary unconsciously let [her]_175-mary attention wander , and a great desire came over [her]_175-mary to talk to [Ralph]_154-ralph about [her]_175-mary own feelings ; or , at any rate , about something personal , so that [she]_175-mary might see what [he]_154-ralph felt for [her]_175-mary ; but [she]_175-mary resisted this wish . But [she]_175-mary could not prevent [him]_154-ralph from feeling [her]_175-mary lack of interest in what [he]_154-ralph was saying , and gradually [they]_1332-they both became silent . One thought after another came up in [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s mind , but [they]_1334-they were all , in some way , connected with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , or with vague feelings of romance and adventure such as [she]_175-mary inspired . But [he]_154-ralph could not talk to [Mary]_175-mary about such thoughts ; and [he]_154-ralph pitied [her]_175-mary for knowing nothing of what [he]_154-ralph was feeling . “ Here , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph thought , “ is where [we]_1332-they differ from [women]_557-women ; [they]_557-women have no sense of romance . ”_[154-ralph] “ Well , [Mary]_175-mary , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph said at length , “ why do n’t [you]_175-mary say something amusing ? ”_[154-ralph] [His]_154-ralph tone was certainly provoking , but , as a general rule , [Mary]_175-mary was not easily provoked . This evening , however , [she]_175-mary replied rather sharply : “ Because [I]_175-mary ’ve got nothing amusing to say , [I]_175-mary suppose . ”_[175-mary] [Ralph]_154-ralph thought for a moment , and then remarked : “ [You]_175-mary work too hard . [I]_154-ralph do n’t mean [your]_175-mary health , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph added , as [she]_175-mary laughed scornfully , “ [I]_154-ralph mean that [you]_154-ralph seem to [me]_154-ralph to be getting wrapped up in [your]_154-ralph work . ”_[154-ralph] “ And is that a bad thing ? ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary asked , shading [her]_175-mary eyes with [her]_175-mary hand . “ [I]_154-ralph think it is , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph returned abruptly . “ But only a week ago [you]_175-mary were saying the opposite . ”_[154-ralph] [Her]_175-mary tone was defiant , but [she]_175-mary became curiously depressed . [Ralph]_154-ralph did not perceive it , and took this opportunity of lecturing [her]_175-mary , and expressing [his]_154-ralph latest views upon the proper conduct of life . [She]_175-mary listened , but [her]_175-mary main impression was that [he]_154-ralph had been meeting [some one who had influenced [him]_154-ralph]_{1335-some one who had influenced him} . [He]_154-ralph was telling [her]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary ought to read more , and to see that there were other points of view as deserving of attention as [her]_175-mary own . Naturally , having last seen [him]_154-ralph as [he]_154-ralph left [the office]_{3177-the office} in company with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_175-mary attributed the change to [her]_175-mary ; it was likely that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , on leaving the scene which [she]_{129-katharine} had so clearly despised , had pronounced some such criticism , or suggested it by [her]_{129-katharine} own attitude . But [she]_175-mary knew that [Ralph]_154-ralph would never admit that [he]_154-ralph had been influenced by [anybody]_1337-anybody . “ [You]_175-mary do n’t read enough , [Mary]_175-mary , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph was saying . “ [You]_175-mary ought to read more poetry . ”_[154-ralph] It was true that [Mary]_175-mary ’s reading had been rather limited to such works as [she]_175-mary needed to know for the sake of examinations ; and [her]_175-mary time for reading in [London]_2-london was very little . For some reason , [no one]_{2921-no one} likes to be told that [they]_{2921-no one} do not read enough poetry , but [her]_175-mary resentment was only visible in the way [she]_175-mary changed the position of [her]_175-mary hands , and in the fixed look in [her]_175-mary eyes . And then [she]_175-mary thought to [herself]_175-mary , “ [I]_175-mary ’m behaving exactly as [I]_175-mary said [I]_175-mary would n’t behave , ”_[175-mary] whereupon [she]_175-mary relaxed all [her]_175-mary muscles and said , in [her]_175-mary reasonable way : “ Tell [me]_175-mary what [I]_175-mary ought to read , then . ”_[175-mary] [Ralph]_154-ralph had unconsciously been irritated by [Mary]_175-mary , and [he]_154-ralph now delivered [himself]_154-ralph of a few names of [great poets]_{1339-great poets} which were the text for a discourse upon the imperfection of [Mary]_175-mary ’s character and way of life . “ [You]_175-mary live with [[your]_175-mary inferiors]_{3597-your inferiors} , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph said , warming unreasonably , as [he]_154-ralph knew , to [his]_154-ralph text . “ And [you]_175-mary get into a groove because , on the whole , it ’s rather a pleasant groove . And [you]_175-mary tend to forget what [you]_175-mary ’re there for . [You]_175-mary ’ve the feminine habit of making much of details . [You]_175-mary do n’t see when things matter and when they do n’t . And that ’s what ’s the ruin of [all these organizations]_{3598-all these organizations} . That ’s why [the Suffragists]_{246-the suffragists} have never done anything all these years . What ’s the point of drawing - room meetings and bazaars ? [You]_175-mary want to have ideas , [Mary]_175-mary ; get hold of something big ; never mind making mistakes , but do n’t niggle . Why do n’t [you]_175-mary throw it all up for a year , and travel?—see something of [the world]_{478-the world} . Do n’t be content to live with [half a dozen people in [a backwater]_{3601-a backwater}]_{3600-half a dozen people in a backwater} all [your]_175-mary life . But [you]_175-mary wo n’t , ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph concluded . “ [I]_175-mary ’ve rather come to that way of thinking [myself]_175-mary — about [myself]_175-mary , [I]_175-mary mean , ”_[175-mary] said [Mary]_175-mary , surprising [him]_154-ralph by [her]_175-mary acquiescence . “ [I]_175-mary should like to go somewhere far away . ”_[175-mary] For a moment [they]_1340-they were both silent . [Ralph]_154-ralph then said : “ But look here , [Mary]_175-mary , [you]_175-mary have n’t been taking this seriously , have [you]_175-mary ? ”_[154-ralph] [His]_154-ralph irritation was spent , and the depression , which [she]_175-mary could not keep out of [her]_175-mary voice , made [him]_154-ralph feel suddenly with remorse that [he]_154-ralph had been hurting [her]_175-mary . “ [You]_175-mary wo n’t go away , will [you]_175-mary ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph asked . And as [she]_175-mary said nothing , [he]_154-ralph added , “ Oh no , do n’t go away . ”_[154-ralph] “ [I]_175-mary do n’t know exactly what [I]_175-mary mean to do , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary replied . [She]_175-mary hovered on the verge of some discussion of [her]_175-mary plans , but [she]_175-mary received no encouragement . [He]_154-ralph fell into one of [his]_154-ralph queer silences , which seemed to [Mary]_175-mary , in spite of all [her]_175-mary precautions , to have reference to what [she]_175-mary also could not prevent [herself]_175-mary from thinking about — [their]_1341-their feeling for [each other]_{451-each other} and [their]_1341-their relationship . [She]_175-mary felt that the two lines of thought bored [their]_1341-their way in long , parallel tunnels which came very close indeed , but never ran into [each other]_{451-each other} . When [he]_154-ralph had gone , and [he]_154-ralph left [her]_175-mary without breaking [his]_154-ralph silence more than was needed to wish [her]_175-mary good night , [she]_175-mary sat on for a time , reviewing what [he]_154-ralph had said . If love is a devastating fire which melts the whole being into one mountain torrent , [Mary]_175-mary was no more in love with [Denham]_154-ralph than [she]_175-mary was in love with [her]_175-mary poker or [her]_175-mary tongs . But probably these extreme passions are very rare , and the state of mind thus depicted belongs to the very last stages of love , when the power to resist has been eaten away , week by week or day by day . Like [most intelligent people]_{1344-most intelligent people} , [Mary]_175-mary was something of [an egoist]_{3061-an egoist} , to the extent , that is , of attaching great importance to what [she]_175-mary felt , and [she]_175-mary was by nature enough of [a moralist]_{1346-a moralist} to like to make certain , from time to time , that [her]_175-mary feelings were creditable to [her]_175-mary . When [Ralph]_154-ralph left [her]_175-mary [she]_175-mary thought over [her]_175-mary state of mind , and came to the conclusion that it would be a good thing to learn a language — say Italian or German . [She]_175-mary then went to a drawer , which [she]_175-mary had to unlock , and took from it certain deeply scored manuscript pages . [She]_175-mary read them through , looking up from [her]_175-mary reading every now and then and thinking very intently for a few seconds about [Ralph]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary did [her]_175-mary best to verify all the qualities in [him]_154-ralph which gave rise to emotions in [her]_175-mary ; and persuaded [herself]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary accounted reasonably for them all . Then [she]_175-mary looked back again at [her]_175-mary manuscript , and decided that to write grammatical English prose is the hardest thing in [the world]_{478-the world} . But [she]_175-mary thought about [herself]_175-mary a great deal more than [she]_175-mary thought about grammatical English prose or about [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , and it may therefore be disputed whether [she]_175-mary was in love , or , if so , to which branch of [the family [her]_175-mary passion]_{1348-the family her passion} belonged . “ It ’s life that matters , nothing but life — the process of discovering , the everlasting and perpetual process , ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as [she]_{129-katharine} passed under the archway , and so into [the wide space of [King ’s Bench Walk]_{45-king ’s bench walk}]_{1349-the wide space of king ’s bench walk} , “ not the discovery itself at all . ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} spoke the last words looking up at [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s windows , which were a semilucent red color , in [her]_{129-katharine} honor , as [she]_{129-katharine} knew . [He]_176-rodney had asked [her]_{129-katharine} to tea with [him]_176-rodney . But [she]_175-mary was in a mood when it is almost physically disagreeable to interrupt the stride of [one]_422-one ’s thought , and [she]_175-mary walked up and down two or three times under the trees before approaching [[his]_176-rodney staircase]_{980-his staircase} . [She]_175-mary liked getting hold of some book which neither [[her]_175-mary father]_{406-her father} or [mother]_2916-mother had read , and keeping it to [herself]_175-mary , and gnawing its contents in privacy , and pondering the meaning without sharing [her]_175-mary thoughts with [any one]_{2939-any one} , or having to decide whether the book was [a good one or a bad one]_{1355-a good one or a bad one} . This evening [she]_175-mary had twisted the words of [Dostoevsky]_{247-dostoevsky} to suit [her]_175-mary mood — a fatalistic mood — to proclaim that the process of discovery was life , and that , presumably , the nature of one ’s goal mattered not at all . [She]_175-mary sat down for a moment upon one of the seats ; felt [herself]_175-mary carried along in the swirl of many things ; decided , in [her]_175-mary sudden way , that it was time to heave all this thinking overboard , and rose , leaving a fishmonger ’s basket on the seat behind [her]_175-mary . Two minutes later [her]_175-mary rap sounded with authority upon [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s door . “ Well , [William]_176-rodney , ”_[175-mary] [she]_175-mary said , “ [I]_175-mary ’m afraid [I]_175-mary ’m late . ”_[175-mary] It was true , but [he]_1356-he was so glad to see [her]_175-mary that [he]_1356-he forgot [his]_1356-he annoyance . [He]_1356-he had been occupied for over an hour in making things ready for [her]_175-mary , and [he]_1356-he now had [his]_1356-he reward in seeing [her]_175-mary look right and left , as [she]_175-mary slipped [her]_175-mary cloak from [her]_175-mary shoulders , with evident satisfaction , although [she]_175-mary said nothing . [He]_1356-he had seen that the fire burnt well ; jam - pots were on the table , tin covers shone in the fender , and the shabby comfort of [the room]_{379-the room} was extreme . [He]_1356-he was dressed in [his]_1356-he old crimson dressing - gown , which was faded irregularly , and had bright new patches on it , like the paler grass which [one]_422-one finds on lifting a stone . [He]_1356-he made the tea , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} drew off [her]_{129-katharine} gloves , and crossed [her]_{129-katharine} legs with a gesture that was rather masculine in its ease . Nor did [they]_1359-they talk much until [they]_1359-they were smoking cigarettes over the fire , having placed [their]_1359-they teacups upon the floor between [them]_1359-they . [They]_1359-they had not met since [they]_1359-they had exchanged letters about [their]_1359-they relationship . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s answer to [his]_1356-he protestation had been short and sensible . Half a sheet of notepaper contained the whole of it , for [she]_175-mary merely had to say that [she]_175-mary was not in love with [him]_1356-he , and so could not marry [him]_1356-he , but [their]_1359-they friendship would continue , [she]_175-mary hoped , unchanged . [She]_175-mary had added a postscript in which [she]_175-mary stated , “ [I]_175-mary like [your]_1356-he sonnet very much . ”_[175-mary] So far as [William]_176-rodney was concerned , this appearance of ease was assumed . Three times that afternoon [he]_1356-he had dressed [himself]_1356-he in a tail - coat , and three times [he]_1356-he had discarded it for an old dressing - gown ; three times [he]_1356-he had placed [his]_1356-he pearl tie - pin in position , and three times [he]_1356-he had removed it again , the little looking - glass in [[his]_1356-he room]_{521-his room} being the witness of these changes of mind . The question was , which would [Katharine]_{129-katharine} prefer on this particular afternoon in December ? [He]_176-rodney read [her]_175-mary note once more , and the postscript about the sonnet settled the matter . Evidently [she]_175-mary admired most [the poet in [him]_176-rodney]_{1361-the poet in him} ; and as this , on the whole , agreed with [his]_176-rodney own opinion , [he]_176-rodney decided to err , if anything , on the side of shabbiness . [His]_176-rodney demeanor was also regulated with premeditation ; [he]_176-rodney spoke little , and only on impersonal matters ; [he]_176-rodney wished [her]_175-mary to realize that in visiting [him]_176-rodney for the first time alone [she]_175-mary was doing nothing remarkable , although , in fact , that was a point about which [he]_176-rodney was not at all sure . Certainly [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed quite unmoved by any disturbing thoughts ; and if [he]_176-rodney had been completely master of [himself]_176-rodney , [he]_176-rodney might , indeed , have complained that [she]_{129-katharine} was a trifle absent - minded . The ease , the familiarity of the situation alone with [Rodney]_176-rodney , among teacups and candles , had more effect upon [her]_{129-katharine} than was apparent . [She]_{129-katharine} asked to look at [his]_176-rodney books , and then at [his]_176-rodney pictures . It was while [she]_{129-katharine} held photograph from the Greek in [her]_{129-katharine} hands that [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , impulsively , if incongruously : “ [My]_{129-katharine} oysters ! [I]_{129-katharine} had a basket , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} explained , “ and [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve left it somewhere . [Uncle Dudley]_{248-uncle dudley} dines with [us]_3602-us to - night . What in [the world]_{478-the world} have [I]_{129-katharine} done with them ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} rose and began to wander about [the room]_{379-the room} . [William]_176-rodney rose also , and stood in front of the fire , muttering , “ Oysters , oysters — [your]_{129-katharine} basket of oysters ! ”_[176-rodney] but though [he]_176-rodney looked vaguely here and there , as if the oysters might be on the top of the bookshelf , [his]_176-rodney eyes returned always to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} drew the curtain and looked out among the scanty leaves of the plane - trees . “ [I]_{129-katharine} had them , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} calculated , “ in [the Strand]_{811-the strand} ; [I]_{129-katharine} sat on a seat . Well , never mind , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} concluded , turning back into [the room]_{379-the room} abruptly , “ [I]_{129-katharine} dare say [some old creature]_{3605-some old creature} is enjoying them by this time . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [I]_176-rodney should have thought that [you]_{129-katharine} never forgot anything , ”_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney remarked , as [they]_1364-we settled down again . “ That ’s part of the myth about [me]_{129-katharine} , [I]_{129-katharine} know , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “ And [I]_176-rodney wonder , ”_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney proceeded , with some caution , “ what the truth about [you]_{129-katharine} is ? But [I]_176-rodney know this sort of thing does n’t interest [you]_{129-katharine} , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney added hastily , with a touch of peevishness . “ No ; it does n’t interest [me]_{129-katharine} very much , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} replied candidly . “ What shall [we]_1364-we talk about then ? ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney asked . [She]_{129-katharine} looked rather whimsically round the walls of [the room]_{379-the room} . “ However [we]_1364-we start , [we]_1364-we end by talking about the same thing — about poetry , [I]_{129-katharine} mean . [I]_{129-katharine} wonder if [you]_176-rodney realize , [William]_176-rodney , that [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve never read even [Shakespeare]_170-william ? It ’s rather wonderful how [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve kept it up all these years . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve kept it up for ten years very beautifully , as far as [I]_176-rodney ’m concerned , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney said . “ Ten years ? So long as that ? ”_[176-rodney] “ And [I]_176-rodney do n’t think it ’s always bored [you]_{129-katharine} , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney added . [She]_{129-katharine} looked into the fire silently . [She]_{129-katharine} could not deny that the surface of [her]_{129-katharine} feeling was absolutely unruffled by anything in [William]_176-rodney ’s character ; on the contrary , [she]_{129-katharine} felt certain that [she]_{129-katharine} could deal with whatever turned up . [He]_176-rodney gave [her]_{129-katharine} peace , in which [she]_{129-katharine} could think of things that were far removed from what [they]_1366-they talked about . Even now , when [he]_176-rodney sat within a yard of [her]_{129-katharine} , how easily [her]_{129-katharine} mind ranged hither and thither ! Suddenly a picture presented itself before [her]_{129-katharine} , without any effort on [her]_{129-katharine} part as pictures will , of [herself]_{129-katharine} in [these very rooms]_{1367-these very rooms} ; [she]_{129-katharine} had come in from a lecture , and [she]_{129-katharine} held a pile of books in [her]_{129-katharine} hand , scientific books , and books about mathematics and astronomy which [she]_{129-katharine} had mastered . [She]_{129-katharine} put them down on the table over there . It was a picture plucked from [her]_{129-katharine} life two or three years hence , when [she]_{129-katharine} was married to [William]_176-rodney ; but here [she]_{129-katharine} checked [herself]_{129-katharine} abruptly . [She]_{129-katharine} could not entirely forget [William]_176-rodney ’s presence , because , in spite of [his]_176-rodney efforts to control [himself]_176-rodney , [his]_176-rodney nervousness was apparent . On such occasions [his]_176-rodney eyes protruded more than ever , and [his]_176-rodney face had more than ever the appearance of being covered with a thin crackling skin , through which every flush of [his]_176-rodney volatile blood showed itself instantly . By this time [he]_176-rodney had shaped so many sentences and rejected them , felt so many impulses and subdued them , that [he]_176-rodney was a uniform scarlet . “ [You]_{129-katharine} may say [you]_{129-katharine} do n’t read books , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney remarked , “ but , all the same , [you]_{129-katharine} know about them . Besides , who wants [you]_{129-katharine} to be learned ? Leave that to [the poor devils who ’ve got nothing better to do]_{3606-the poor devils who ’ve got nothing better to do} . [You]_{129-katharine} — [you]_{129-katharine} — ahem ! — ”_[176-rodney] “ Well , then , why do n’t [you]_176-rodney read [me]_{129-katharine} something before [I]_{129-katharine} go ? ”_{[129-katharine]} said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , looking at [her]_{129-katharine} watch . “ [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve only just come ! Let [me]_176-rodney see now , what have [I]_176-rodney got to show [you]_{129-katharine} ? ”_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney rose , and stirred about the papers on [his]_176-rodney table , as if in doubt ; [he]_176-rodney then picked up a manuscript , and after spreading it smoothly upon [his]_176-rodney knee , [he]_176-rodney looked up at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} suspiciously . [He]_176-rodney caught [her]_{129-katharine} smiling . “ [I]_176-rodney believe [you]_{129-katharine} only ask [me]_176-rodney to read out of kindness , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney burst out . “ Let ’s find something else to talk about . Who have [you]_{129-katharine} been seeing ? ”_[176-rodney] “ [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t generally ask things out of kindness , ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed ; “ however , if [you]_176-rodney do n’t want to read , [you]_176-rodney need n’t . ”_{[129-katharine]} [William]_176-rodney gave a queer snort of exasperation , and opened [his]_176-rodney manuscript once more , though [he]_176-rodney kept [his]_176-rodney eyes upon [her]_{129-katharine} face as [he]_176-rodney did so . No face could have been graver or more judicial . “ [One]_422-one can trust [you]_{129-katharine} , certainly , to say unpleasant things , ”_[176-rodney] [he]_176-rodney said , smoothing out the page , clearing [his]_176-rodney throat , and reading half a stanza to [himself]_176-rodney . “ Ahem ! [The Princess]_{3608-the princess} is lost in the wood , and [she]_{3608-the princess} hears the sound of a horn . ( This would all be very pretty on the stage , but [I]_176-rodney ca n’t get the effect here . ) Anyhow , [Sylvano]_249-sylvano enters , accompanied by [the rest of the gentlemen of [[Gratian]_250-gratian ’s court]_{3610-gratian ’s court}]_{3609-the rest of the gentlemen of gratian ’s court} . [I]_176-rodney begin where [he]_249-sylvano soliloquizes . ”_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney jerked [his]_176-rodney head and began to read . Although [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had just disclaimed any knowledge of literature , [she]_{129-katharine} listened attentively . At least , [she]_{129-katharine} listened to the first twenty - five lines attentively , and then [she]_{129-katharine} frowned . [Her]_{129-katharine} attention was only aroused again when [Rodney]_176-rodney raised [his]_176-rodney finger — a sign , [she]_{129-katharine} knew , that the meter was about to change . [His]_176-rodney theory was that every mood has its meter . [His]_176-rodney mastery of meters was very great ; and , if the beauty of a drama depended upon the variety of measures in which [the personages]_{1368-the personages} speak , [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s plays must have challenged the works of [Shakespeare]_170-william . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s ignorance of [Shakespeare]_170-william did not prevent [her]_{129-katharine} from feeling fairly certain that plays should not produce a sense of chill stupor in [the audience]_{862-the audience} , such as overcame [her]_{129-katharine} as the lines flowed on , sometimes long and sometimes short , but always delivered with the same lilt of voice , which seemed to nail each line firmly on to the same spot in [the hearer]_{1370-the hearer} ’s brain . Still , [she]_{129-katharine} reflected , these sorts of skill are almost exclusively masculine ; [women]_557-women neither practice [them]_1372-them nor know how to value [them]_1372-them ; and [one ’s husband]_{1373-one ’s husband} ’s proficiency in this direction might legitimately increase [one]_422-one ’s respect for [him]_{1373-one ’s husband} , since mystification is no bad basis for respect . [No one]_{2921-no one} could doubt that [William]_176-rodney was [a scholar]_{1376-a scholar} . The reading ended with the finish of the Act ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had prepared a little speech . “ That seems to [me]_{129-katharine} extremely well written , [William]_176-rodney ; although , of course , [I]_{129-katharine} do n’t know enough to criticize in detail . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ But it ’s the skill that strikes [you]_176-rodney — not the emotion ? ”_[1377-his] “ In a fragment like that , of course , the skill strikes one most . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ But perhaps — have [you]_176-rodney time to listen to one more short piece ? the scene between [the lovers]_{3611-the lovers} ? There ’s some real feeling in that , [I]_{129-katharine} think . [Denham]_154-ralph agrees that it ’s the best thing [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve done . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [You]_176-rodney ’ve read it to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} inquired , with surprise . “ [He]_154-ralph ’s [a better judge]_{3612-a better judge} than [I]_{129-katharine} am . What did [he]_154-ralph say ? ”_{[129-katharine]} “ [[My]_176-rodney dear]_{3002-my dear} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ”_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed , “ [I]_176-rodney do n’t ask [you]_{129-katharine} for criticism , as [I]_176-rodney should ask [a scholar]_{1376-a scholar} . [I]_176-rodney dare say there are only [five men in [England]_5-england whose opinion of [my]_176-rodney work]_{3615-five men in england whose opinion of my work} matters a straw to [me]_176-rodney . But [I]_176-rodney trust [you]_{129-katharine} where feeling is concerned . [I]_176-rodney had [you]_{129-katharine} in [my]_176-rodney mind often when [I]_176-rodney was writing those scenes . [I]_176-rodney kept asking [myself]_176-rodney , ‘ Now is this the sort of thing [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would like ? ’ [I]_176-rodney always think of [you]_{129-katharine} when [I]_176-rodney ’m writing , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , even when it ’s the sort of thing [you]_{129-katharine} would n’t know about . And [I]_176-rodney ’d rather — yes , [I]_176-rodney really believe [I]_176-rodney ’d rather — [you]_{129-katharine} thought well of [my]_176-rodney writing than any one in [the world]_{478-the world} . ”_[176-rodney] This was so genuine a tribute to [his]_1377-his trust in [her]_1378-her that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was touched . “ [You]_1377-his think too much of [me]_{129-katharine} altogether , [William]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , forgetting that [she]_{129-katharine} had not meant to speak in this way . “ No , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_1377-his do n’t , ”_[1377-his] [he]_1377-his replied , replacing [his]_1377-his manuscript in the drawer . “ It does [me]_1377-his good to think of [you]_{129-katharine} . ”_[1377-his] So quiet an answer , followed as it was by no expression of love , but merely by the statement that if [she]_{129-katharine} must go [he]_1377-his would take [her]_{129-katharine} to [the Strand]_{811-the strand} , and would , if [she]_{129-katharine} could wait a moment , change [his]_1377-his dressing - gown for a coat , moved [her]_{129-katharine} to the warmest feeling of affection for [him]_1377-his that [she]_{129-katharine} had yet experienced . While [he]_1377-his changed in [the next room]_{472-the next room} , [she]_{129-katharine} stood by the bookcase , taking down books and opening them , but reading nothing on their pages . [She]_{129-katharine} felt certain that [she]_{129-katharine} would marry [Rodney]_176-rodney . How could [one]_422-one avoid it ? How could [one]_422-one find fault with it ? Here [she]_{129-katharine} sighed , and , putting the thought of marriage away , fell into a dream state , in which [she]_{129-katharine} became [another person]_{879-another person} , and [the whole world]_{1384-the whole world} seemed changed . Being [a frequent visitor to [that world]_{1386-that world}]_{1385-a frequent visitor to that world} , [she]_{129-katharine} could find [her]_{129-katharine} way there unhesitatingly . If [she]_{129-katharine} had tried to analyze [her]_{129-katharine} impressions , [she]_{129-katharine} would have said that there dwelt the realities of the appearances which figure in [[our]_1387-our world]_{1388-our world} ; so direct , powerful , and unimpeded were [her]_{129-katharine} sensations there , compared with those called forth in actual life . There dwelt the things one might have felt , had there been cause ; the perfect happiness of which here [we]_1387-our taste the fragment ; the beauty seen here in flying glimpses only . No doubt much of the furniture of [this world]_{1389-this world} was drawn directly from the past , and even from the England of the Elizabethan age . However the embellishment of [this imaginary world]_{1390-this imaginary world} might change , two qualities were constant in it . It was a place where feelings were liberated from the constraint which [the real world]_{1391-the real world} puts upon [them]_1392-them ; and the process of awakenment was always marked by resignation and a kind of stoical acceptance of facts . [She]_{129-katharine} met [no acquaintance there]_{1393-no acquaintance there} , as [Denham]_154-ralph did , miraculously transfigured ; [she]_{129-katharine} played no heroic part . But there certainly [she]_{129-katharine} loved [some magnanimous hero]_{3416-some magnanimous hero} , and as [they]_1395-they swept together among the leaf - hung trees of [an unknown world]_{898-an unknown world} , [they]_1395-they shared the feelings which came fresh and fast as the waves on [the shore]_{3516-the shore} . But the sands of [her]_{129-katharine} liberation were running fast ; even through the forest branches came sounds of [Rodney]_176-rodney moving things on [his]_176-rodney dressing - table ; and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} woke [herself]_{129-katharine} from this excursion by shutting the cover of the book [she]_{129-katharine} was holding , and replacing it in the bookshelf . “ [William]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} said , speaking rather faintly at first , like [one sending a voice from sleep to reach the living]_{1398-one sending a voice from sleep to reach the living} . “ [William]_176-rodney , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} repeated firmly , “ if [you]_176-rodney still want [me]_{129-katharine} to marry [you]_176-rodney , [I]_{129-katharine} will . ”_{[129-katharine]} Perhaps it was that [no man]_{1399-no man} could expect to have the most momentous question of [his]_{1399-no man} life settled in a voice so level , so toneless , so devoid of joy or energy . At any rate [William]_176-rodney made no answer . [She]_{129-katharine} waited stoically . A moment later [he]_176-rodney stepped briskly from [[his]_176-rodney dressing - room]_{1400-his dressing - room} , and observed that if [she]_{129-katharine} wanted to buy more oysters [he]_176-rodney thought [he]_176-rodney knew where [they]_1401-they could find [[a fishmonger]_{1402-a fishmonger} ’s shop]_{1403-a fishmonger ’s shop} still open . [She]_{129-katharine} breathed deeply a sigh of relief . Extract from a letter sent a few days later by [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} to [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} : “ ... How stupid of [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} to forget the name in [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} telegram . Such a nice , rich , English name , too , and , in addition , [he]_176-rodney has all the graces of intellect ; [he]_176-rodney has read literally everything . [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} tell [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} shall always put [him]_176-rodney on [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} right side at dinner , so as to have [him]_176-rodney by [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} when [people]_383-people begin talking about characters in [Shakespeare]_170-william . [They]_383-people wo n’t be rich , but [they]_383-people ’ll be very , very happy . [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} was sitting in [[my]_{218-mrs. milvain} room]_{3618-my room} late one night , feeling that nothing nice would ever happen to [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} again , when [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} heard [Katharine]_{129-katharine} outside in [the passage]_{3619-the passage} , and [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} thought to [myself]_{218-mrs. milvain} , ‘ Shall [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} call [her]_{129-katharine} in ? ’ and then [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} thought ( in that hopeless , dreary way [one]_422-one does think , with the fire going out and [one]_422-one ’s birthday just over ) , ‘ Why should [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} lay [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} troubles on [her]_{129-katharine} ? ’ But [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} little self - control had its reward , for next moment [she]_{129-katharine} tapped at the door and came in , and sat on the rug , and though [we]_3622-we neither of [us]_3622-we said anything , [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} felt so happy all of a second that [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} could n’t help crying , ‘ Oh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , when [you]_{129-katharine} come to [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} age , how [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} hope [you]_{129-katharine} ’ll have [a daughter]_{726-a daughter} , too ! ’ [You]_{129-katharine} know how silent [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is . [She]_{129-katharine} was so silent , for such a long time , that in [my]_{218-mrs. milvain} foolish , nervous state [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} dreaded something , [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} do n’t quite know what . And then [she]_{129-katharine} told [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} how , after all , [she]_{129-katharine} had made up [her]_{129-katharine} mind . [She]_{129-katharine} had written . [She]_{129-katharine} expected [him]_{726-a daughter} to - morrow . At first [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} was n’t glad at all . [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} did n’t want [her]_{129-katharine} to marry [any one]_{2939-any one} ; but when [she]_{129-katharine} said , ‘ It will make no difference . [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} shall always care for [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} and [father]_3311-father most , ’ then [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} saw how selfish [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} was , and [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} told [her]_{129-katharine} [she]_{129-katharine} must give [him]_{726-a daughter} everything , everything , everything ! [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} told [her]_{129-katharine} [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} should be thankful to come second . But why , when everything ’s turned out just as [one]_422-one always hoped it would turn out , why then can [one]_422-one do nothing but cry , nothing but feel [a desolate old woman whose life ’s been a failure]_{3628-a desolate old woman whose life ’s been a failure} , and now is nearly over , and age is so cruel ? But [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said to [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} , ‘ [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} am happy . [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} ’m very happy . ’ And then [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} thought , though it all seemed so desperately dismal at the time , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had said [she]_{129-katharine} was happy , and [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} should have [a son]_{3629-a son} , and it would all turn out so much more wonderfully than [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} could possibly imagine , for though the sermons do n’t say so , [I]_{218-mrs. milvain} do believe [the world]_{478-the world} is meant for [us]_3631-us to be happy in . [She]_{129-katharine} told [me]_{218-mrs. milvain} that [they]_3632-they would live quite near [us]_3631-us , and see [us]_3631-us every day ; and [she]_{129-katharine} would go on with the Life , and [we]_3631-us should finish it as [we]_3631-us had meant to . And , after all , it would be far more horrid if [she]_{129-katharine} did n’t marry — or suppose [she]_{129-katharine} married [some one [we]_3631-us could n’t endure]_{3633-some one we could n’t endure} ? Suppose [she]_{129-katharine} had fallen in love with [some one who was married already]_{3634-some one who was married already} ? “_{[218-mrs. milvain]} And though [one]_422-one never thinks any one good enough for [the people [one]_422-one ’s fond of]_{1406-the people one ’s fond of} , [he]_422-one has the kindest , truest instincts , [I]_0-i ’m sure , and though [he]_422-one seems nervous and [his]_422-one manner is not commanding , [I]_0-i only think these things because it ’s [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . And now [I]_0-i ’ve written this , it comes over [me]_0-i that , of course , all the time , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has what [he]_422-one has n’t . [She]_{129-katharine} does command , [she]_{129-katharine} is n’t nervous ; it comes naturally to [her]_{129-katharine} to rule and control . It ’s time that [she]_{129-katharine} should give all this to [some one who will need [her]_{129-katharine} when [we]_1408-we are n’t there , save in [our]_1408-we spirits]_{1407-some one who will need her when we are n’t there , save in our spirits} , for whatever [people]_383-people say , [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i shall come back to [this wonderful world where [one ’s been so happy and so miserable]_{1411-one ’s been so happy and so miserable}]_{1410-this wonderful world where one ’s been so happy and so miserable} , where , even now , [I]_0-i seem to see [myself]_0-i stretching out [my]_0-i hands for another present from the great Fairy Tree whose boughs are still hung with enchanting toys , though they are rarer now , perhaps , and between the branches one sees no longer the blue sky , but the stars and the tops of [the mountains]_{1412-the mountains} . “ [One]_422-one does n’t know any more , does [one]_422-one ? [One]_422-one has n’t any advice to give [[one]_422-one ’s children]_{3639-one ’s children} . [One]_422-one can only hope that [they]_{3639-one ’s children} will have the same vision and the same power to believe , without which life would be so meaningless . That is what [I]_154-ralph ask for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [[her]_{129-katharine} husband]_{3641-her husband} . ”_[154-ralph] “ Is [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} at [home]_2992-home , or [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ? ”_[154-ralph] [Denham]_154-ralph asked , of [the parlor - maid in [Chelsea]_10-chelsea]_{1413-the parlor - maid in chelsea} , a week later . “ No , [sir]_3643-sir . But [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} is at [home]_2992-home , ”_{[413-the girl]} [the girl]_{413-the girl} answered . [Ralph]_154-ralph had anticipated many answers , but not this one , and now it was unexpectedly made plain to [him]_154-ralph that it was the chance of seeing [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that had brought [him]_154-ralph all the way to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea on pretence of seeing [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . [He]_154-ralph made some show of considering the matter , and was taken [upstairs]_523-upstairs to [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} . As upon that first occasion , some weeks ago , the door closed as if [it]_1418-it were a thousand doors softly excluding [the world]_{478-the world} ; and once more [Ralph]_154-ralph received an impression of [a room full of deep shadows]_{1420-a room full of deep shadows} , firelight , unwavering silver candle flames , and empty spaces to be crossed before reaching the round table in the middle of [the room]_{379-the room} , with [its]_1422-its frail burden of silver trays and china teacups . But this time [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was there by [herself]_{129-katharine} ; the volume in [her]_{129-katharine} hand showed that [she]_{129-katharine} expected [no visitors]_{1423-no visitors} . [Ralph]_154-ralph said something about hoping to find [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . “ [[My]_{129-katharine} father]_{2986-my father} is out , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “ But if [you]_154-ralph can wait , [I]_{129-katharine} expect [him]_{2986-my father} soon . ”_{[129-katharine]} It might have been due merely to politeness , but [Ralph]_154-ralph felt that [she]_{129-katharine} received [him]_154-ralph almost with cordiality . Perhaps [she]_{129-katharine} was bored by drinking tea and reading a book all alone ; at any rate , [she]_{129-katharine} tossed the book on to a sofa with a gesture of relief . “ Is that one of the moderns whom [you]_{129-katharine} despise ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph asked , smiling at the carelessness of [her]_{129-katharine} gesture . “ Yes , ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “ [I]_{129-katharine} think even [you]_154-ralph would despise [him]_{2986-my father} . ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Even [I]_154-ralph ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph repeated . “ Why even [I]_154-ralph ? ”_[154-ralph] “ [You]_{129-katharine} said [you]_{129-katharine} liked modern things ; [I]_{129-katharine} said [I]_{129-katharine} hated them . ”_{[129-katharine]} This was not a very accurate report of [their]_1425-their conversation among the relics , perhaps , but [Ralph]_154-ralph was flattered to think that [she]_{129-katharine} remembered anything about it . “ Or did [I]_{129-katharine} confess that [I]_{129-katharine} hated all books ? ”_{[129-katharine]} [she]_{129-katharine} went on , seeing [him]_154-ralph look up with an air of inquiry . “ [I]_{129-katharine} forget — ”_{[129-katharine]} “ Do [you]_{129-katharine} hate all books ? ”_[154-ralph] [he]_154-ralph asked . “ It would be absurd to say that [I]_{129-katharine} hate all books when [I]_{129-katharine} ’ve only read ten , perhaps ; but — ’ Here [she]_{129-katharine} pulled [herself]_{129-katharine} up short . “_{[129-katharine]} Well ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , [I]_0-i do hate books , ” [she]_{129-katharine} continued . “_[154-ralph] Why do [you]_154-ralph want to be for ever talking about [your]_154-ralph feelings ? That ’s what [I]_0-i ca n’t make out . And poetry ’s all about feelings — novels are all about feelings . ” [She]_{129-katharine} cut a cake vigorously into slices , and providing a tray with bread and butter for [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , who was in [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} with a cold , [she]_{129-katharine} rose to go [upstairs]_523-upstairs . [Ralph]_154-ralph held the door open for [her]_{129-katharine} , and then stood with clasped hands in the middle of [the room]_{379-the room} . [His]_154-ralph eyes were bright , and , indeed , [he]_154-ralph scarcely knew whether they beheld dreams or realities . All down [the street]_{397-the street} and on [the doorstep]_{3650-the doorstep} , and while [he]_154-ralph mounted the stairs , [his]_154-ralph dream of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} possessed [him]_154-ralph ; on the threshold of [the room]_{379-the room} [he]_154-ralph had dismissed it , in order to prevent too painful a collision between what [he]_154-ralph dreamt of [her]_{129-katharine} and what [she]_{129-katharine} was . And in five minutes [she]_{129-katharine} had filled the shell of the old dream with the flesh of life ; looked with fire out of phantom eyes . [He]_154-ralph glanced about [him]_154-ralph with bewilderment at finding [himself]_154-ralph among [her]_{129-katharine} chairs and tables ; they were solid , for [he]_154-ralph grasped the back of the chair in which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had sat ; and yet they were unreal ; the atmosphere was that of a dream . [He]_154-ralph summoned all the faculties of [his]_154-ralph spirit to seize what the minutes had to give [him]_154-ralph ; and from the depths of [his]_154-ralph mind there rose unchecked a joyful recognition of the truth that human nature surpasses , in its beauty , all that [our]_3652-our wildest dreams bring [us]_3652-our hints of . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} came into [the room]_{379-the room} a moment later . [He]_154-ralph stood watching [her]_{129-katharine} come towards [him]_154-ralph , and thought [her]_{129-katharine} more beautiful and strange than [his]_154-ralph dream of [her]_{129-katharine} ; for the real [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could speak the words which seemed to crowd behind the forehead and in the depths of the eyes , and the commonest sentence would be flashed on by this immortal light . And [she]_{129-katharine} overflowed the edges of the dream ; [he]_154-ralph remarked that [her]_{129-katharine} softness was like that of some vast snowy owl ; [she]_{129-katharine} wore a ruby on [her]_{129-katharine} finger . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} wants [me]_0-i to tell [you]_1427-you , ” [she]_0-i said , “_{[2968-my mother]} that [she]_{2968-my mother} hopes [you]_1427-you have begun [your]_1427-you poem . [She]_{2968-my mother} says [every one]_{3109-every one} ought to write poetry .... All [[my]_0-i relations]_{1429-my relations} write poetry , ” [she]_0-i went on . “_{[2968-my mother]} [I]_0-i ca n’t bear to think of it sometimes — because , of course , it ’s none of it any good . But then one need n’t read it — ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t encourage [me]_0-i to write a poem , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] But [you]_1427-you ’re not [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , too , are [you]_1427-you ? ” [she]_0-i inquired , turning upon [him]_1427-you with a laugh . “_[1427-you] Should [I]_0-i tell [you]_1427-you if [I]_0-i were ? ” “_[0-i] Yes . Because [I]_0-i think [you]_1427-you speak the truth , ” [she]_0-i said , searching [him]_1427-you for proof of this apparently , with eyes now almost impersonally direct . It would be easy , [Ralph]_154-ralph thought , to worship one so far removed , and yet of so straight a nature ; easy to submit recklessly to [her]_0-i , without thought of future pain . “_[1427-you] Are [you]_1427-you [a poet]_{3071-a poet} ? ” [she]_0-i demanded . [He]_154-ralph felt that [her]_0-i question had an unexplained weight of meaning behind it , as if [she]_0-i sought an answer to a question that [she]_0-i did not ask . “_{[3071-a poet]} No . [I]_0-i have n’t written any poetry for years , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] But all the same , [I]_0-i do n’t agree with [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i think it ’s the only thing worth doing . ” “_[0-i] Why do [you]_1427-you say that ? ” [she]_0-i asked , almost with impatience , tapping [her]_0-i spoon two or three times against the side of [her]_0-i cup . “_[1427-you] Why ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph laid hands on the first words that came to mind . “_[1427-you] Because , [I]_0-i suppose , it keeps an ideal alive which might die otherwise . ” A curious change came over [her]_0-i face , as if the flame of [her]_0-i mind were subdued ; and [she]_0-i looked at [him]_154-ralph ironically and with the expression which [he]_154-ralph had called sad before , for want of a better name for it . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know that there ’s much sense in having ideals , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[1427-you] But [you]_0-i have them , ” [he]_154-ralph replied energetically . “_[0-i] Why do [we]_1432-they call them ideals ? It ’s a stupid word . Dreams , [I]_0-i mean — ” [She]_0-i followed [his]_154-ralph words with parted lips , as though to answer eagerly when [he]_154-ralph had done ; but as [he]_154-ralph said , “_[0-i] Dreams , [I]_0-i mean , ” the door of [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} swung open , and so remained for a perceptible instant . [They]_1432-they both held [themselves]_1432-they silent , [her]_0-i lips still parted . Far off , [they]_1432-they heard the rustle of skirts . Then [the owner of the skirts]_{3655-the owner of the skirts} appeared in the doorway , which [she]_0-i almost filled , nearly concealing the figure of [a very much smaller lady who accompanied [her]_0-i]_{3656-a very much smaller lady who accompanied her} . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i aunts]_{1433-my aunts} ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} murmured , under [her]_{129-katharine} breath . [Her]_{129-katharine} tone had a hint of tragedy in it , but no less , [Ralph]_154-ralph thought , than the situation required . [She]_{129-katharine} addressed [the larger lady]_{3657-the larger lady} as [Aunt Millicent]_{152-aunt millicent} ; the smaller was [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , who had lately undertaken the task of marrying [Cyril]_236-cyril to [[his]_236-cyril wife]_{2946-his wife} . [Both ladies]_{3659-both ladies} , but [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} ( [Aunt Millicent]_{152-aunt millicent} ) in particular , had that look of heightened , smoothed , incarnadined existence which is proper to [elderly ladies]_{3660-elderly ladies} paying calls in [London]_2-london about five o’clock in the afternoon . Portraits by [Romney]_252-romney , seen through glass , have something of their pink , mellow look , their blooming softness , as of apricots hanging upon a red wall in the afternoon sun . [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} was so appareled with hanging muffs , chains , and swinging draperies that it was impossible to detect the shape of [a human being]_{861-a human being} in the mass of brown and black which filled the arm - chair . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} was [a much slighter figure]_{3662-a much slighter figure} ; but the same doubt as to the precise lines of [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} contour filled [Ralph]_154-ralph , as [he]_154-ralph regarded [them]_{3659-both ladies} , with dismal foreboding . What remark of [his]_154-ralph would ever reach these fabulous and fantastic characters?—for there was something fantastically unreal in the curious swayings and noddings of [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} , as if [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} equipment included a large wire spring . [Her]_{218-mrs. milvain} voice had a high - pitched , cooing note , which prolonged words and cut them short until the English language seemed no longer fit for common purposes . In a moment of nervousness , so [Ralph]_154-ralph thought , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had turned on innumerable electric lights . But [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} had gained impetus ( perhaps [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} swaying movements had that end in view ) for sustained speech ; and [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} now addressed [Ralph]_154-ralph deliberately and elaborately . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i come from [Woking]_46-woking , [Mr. Popham]_{253-mr. popham} . [You]_{253-mr. popham} may well ask [me]_0-i , why [Woking]_46-woking ? and to that [I]_0-i answer , for perhaps the hundredth time , because of the sunsets . [We]_1434-we went [there]_2927-there for the sunsets , but that was five - and - twenty years ago . Where are the sunsets now ? Alas ! There is no sunset now nearer than [the South Coast]_{47-the south coast} . ” [Her]_{218-mrs. milvain} rich and romantic notes were accompanied by a wave of a long white hand , which , when waved , gave off a flash of diamonds , rubies , and emeralds . [Ralph]_154-ralph wondered whether [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} more resembled an elephant , with a jeweled head - dress , or a superb cockatoo , balanced insecurely upon its perch , and pecking capriciously at a lump of sugar . “_{[253-mr. popham]} Where are the sunsets now ? ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} repeated . “_{[253-mr. popham]} Do [you]_{253-mr. popham} find sunsets now , [Mr. Popham]_{253-mr. popham} ? ” “_{[253-mr. popham]} [I]_0-i live at [Highgate]_6-highgate , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] At [Highgate]_6-highgate ? Yes , [Highgate]_6-highgate has its charms ; [[your]_{253-mr. popham} Uncle]_{1436-your uncle} [John]_{158-uncle john} lived at [Highgate]_6-highgate , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} jerked in the direction of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} sank [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} head upon [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} breast , as if for a moment ’s meditation , which past , [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} looked up and observed : “_{[158-uncle john]} [I]_0-i dare say there are [very pretty lanes in [Highgate]_6-highgate]_{1437-very pretty lanes in highgate} . [I]_0-i can recollect walking with [[your]_{253-mr. popham} mother]_{3081-your mother} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , through [lanes blossoming with wild hawthorn]_{1439-lanes blossoming with wild hawthorn} . But where is the hawthorn now ? [You]_{253-mr. popham} remember that exquisite description in [De Quincey]_{254-de quincey} , [Mr. Popham?—but]_{1440-mr. popham?—but} [I]_0-i forget , [you]_{253-mr. popham} , in [[your]_{253-mr. popham} generation]_{1441-your generation} , with all [your]_{253-mr. popham} activity and enlightenment , at which [I]_0-i can only marvel”—here [she]_{129-katharine} displayed both [her]_{129-katharine} beautiful white hands—“do_{[254-de quincey]} not read [De Quincey]_{254-de quincey} . [You]_{253-mr. popham} have [your]_{253-mr. popham} [Belloc]_255-belloc , [[your]_{253-mr. popham} [Chesterton]_{48-chesterton}]_{1442-your chesterton} , [[your]_{253-mr. popham} Bernard Shaw]_{1443-your bernard shaw} — why should [you]_{253-mr. popham} read [De Quincey]_{254-de quincey} ? ” “_{[253-mr. popham]} But [I]_0-i do read [De Quincey]_{254-de quincey} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph protested , “_{[254-de quincey]} more than [Belloc]_255-belloc and [Chesterton]_{48-chesterton} , anyhow . ” “_{[48-chesterton]} Indeed ! ” exclaimed [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} , with a gesture of surprise and relief mingled . “_{[48-chesterton]} [You]_{253-mr. popham} are , then , a ‘ rara avis ’ in [[your]_{253-mr. popham} generation]_{1441-your generation} . [I]_0-i am delighted to meet anyone who reads [De Quincey]_{254-de quincey} . ” Here [she]_0-i hollowed [her]_0-i hand into a screen , and , leaning towards [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , inquired , in a very audible whisper , “_{[254-de quincey]} Does [[your]_{253-mr. popham} friend]_{1445-your friend} write ? ” “_[131-denham] [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with more than [her]_{129-katharine} usual clearness and firmness , “_[131-denham] writes for the Review . [He]_131-denham is [a lawyer]_{1316-a lawyer} . ” “_{[1316-a lawyer]} The clean - shaven lips , showing the expression of the mouth ! [I]_0-i recognize them at once . [I]_0-i always feel at [home]_2992-home with [lawyers]_1448-lawyers , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham — ” “_[131-denham] [They]_1449-they used to come about so much in the old days , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} interposed , the frail , silvery notes of [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} voice falling with the sweet tone of an old bell . “_[1449-they] [You]_{253-mr. popham} say [you]_{253-mr. popham} live at [Highgate]_6-highgate , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} continued . “_{[253-mr. popham]} [I]_0-i wonder whether [you]_{253-mr. popham} happen to know if there is [an old house called [Tempest Lodge]_{49-tempest lodge} still in existence]_{1450-an old house called tempest lodge still in existence} — [an old white house in [a garden]_{1452-a garden}]_{1451-an old white house in a garden} ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph shook [his]_154-ralph head , and [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} sighed . “_{[253-mr. popham]} Ah , no ; it must have been pulled down by this time , with all [the other old houses]_{1453-the other old houses} . [There were such pretty lanes]_{1454-there were such pretty lanes} in those days . That was how [[your]_{253-mr. popham} uncle]_{1436-your uncle} met [[your]_{253-mr. popham} Aunt]_{3041-your aunt} [Emily]_257-emily , [you]_{253-mr. popham} know , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} addressed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[257-emily] [They]_1457-they walked [home]_2992-home through [the lanes]_{1459-the lanes} . ” “_[1457-they] A sprig of [May]_233-maggie in [her]_257-emily bonnet , ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} ejaculated , reminiscently . “_[1457-they] And next Sunday [he]_{1436-your uncle} had violets in [his]_{1436-your uncle} buttonhole . And that was how [we]_1460-we guessed . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} laughed . [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [Ralph]_154-ralph . [His]_154-ralph eyes were meditative , and [she]_{129-katharine} wondered what [he]_154-ralph found in this old gossip to make [him]_154-ralph ponder so contentedly . [She]_{129-katharine} felt , [she]_{129-katharine} hardly knew why , a curious pity for [him]_154-ralph . “_{[158-uncle john]} [Uncle John]_{158-uncle john} — yes , ‘ poor [John]_{158-uncle john} , ’ [you]_1461-you always called [him]_{158-uncle john} . Why was that ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked , to make [them]_3663-them go on talking , which , indeed , [they]_3663-them needed little invitation to do . “_[1461-you] That was what [[his]_{158-uncle john} father]_{1462-his father} , [old Sir Richard]_{142-sir richard warburton} , always called [him]_{158-uncle john} . [Poor John]_258-john , or [the fool of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{1463-the fool of the family} , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} hastened to inform [them]_3663-them . “_[258-john] [The other boys]_{1465-the other boys} were so brilliant , and [he]_{158-uncle john} could never pass [his]_{158-uncle john} examinations , so [they]_{1465-the other boys} sent [him]_{158-uncle john} to [India]_12-india — a long voyage in those days , [poor fellow]_{1466-poor fellow} . [You]_{1466-poor fellow} had [[your]_{1466-poor fellow} own room]_{1467-your own room} , [you]_{1466-poor fellow} know , and [you]_{1466-poor fellow} did it up . But [he]_{158-uncle john} will get [his]_{158-uncle john} knighthood and a pension , [I]_0-i believe , ” [she]_0-i said , turning to [Ralph]_154-ralph , “_[0-i] only it is not [England]_5-england . ” “_[0-i] No , ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} confirmed [her]_0-i , “_[0-i] it is not [England]_5-england . In those days [we]_1468-we thought an Indian Judgeship about equal to [a county - court judgeship at [home]_2992-home]_{1469-a county - court judgeship at home} . [His]_{158-uncle john} Honor — a pretty title , but still , not at the top of the tree . However , ” [she]_0-i sighed , “_{[1466-poor fellow]} if [you]_{1466-poor fellow} have [a wife]_{3536-a wife} and [seven children]_{1472-seven children} , and [people]_383-people nowadays very quickly forget [[your]_{1466-poor fellow} father]_{1101-your father} ’s name — well , [you]_{1466-poor fellow} have to take what [you]_{1466-poor fellow} can get , ” [she]_0-i concluded . “_{[1466-poor fellow]} And [I]_0-i fancy , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} resumed , lowering [her]_0-i voice rather confidentially , “_[0-i] that [John]_258-john would have done more if it had n’t been for [[his]_258-john wife]_{2946-his wife} , [[your]_{1466-poor fellow} Aunt]_{3041-your aunt} [Emily]_257-emily . [She]_257-emily was [a very good woman]_{1477-a very good woman} , devoted to [him]_258-john , of course , but [she]_257-emily was not ambitious for [him]_258-john , and if [a wife]_{3536-a wife} is n’t ambitious for [[her]_{3536-a wife} husband]_{3641-her husband} , especially in a profession like the law , [clients]_1480-clients soon get to know of it . In [our]_1481-our young days , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , [we]_1481-our used to say that [we]_1481-our knew which of [[our]_1481-our friends]_{1482-our friends} would become [judges]_1483-judges , by looking at [the girls [they]_{1482-our friends} married]_{1484-the girls they married} . And so it was , and so , [I]_0-i fancy , it always will be . [I]_0-i do n’t think , ” [she]_0-i added , summing up these scattered remarks , “_[0-i] that [any man]_{1485-any man} is really happy unless [he]_{1485-any man} succeeds in [his]_{1485-any man} profession . ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} approved of this sentiment with more ponderous sagacity from [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} side of the tea - table , in the first place by swaying [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} head , and in the second by remarking : “_[0-i] No , [men]_719-men are not the same as [women]_557-women . [I]_0-i fancy [Alfred Tennyson]_{259-alfred tennyson} spoke the truth about that as about many other things . How [I]_0-i wish [he]_{259-alfred tennyson} ’d lived to write ‘ [The Prince’—a]_{260-the prince’—a} sequel to ‘ [The Princess]_{3608-the princess} ’ ! [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i ’m almost tired of [Princesses]_{1489-princesses} . [We]_1490-we want [some one]_{376-some one} to show [us]_1490-we what [a good man]_{1492-a good man} can be . [We]_1490-we have [Laura]_261-laura and [Beatrice]_262-beatrice , [Antigone]_263-antigone and [Cordelia]_264-cordelia , but [we]_1490-we have [no heroic man]_{1493-no heroic man} . How do [you]_0-i , as [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , account for that , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph good - humoredly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m only [a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} . ” “_{[996-a solicitor]} But [you]_0-i write , too ? ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} demanded , afraid lest [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} should be balked of [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} priceless discovery , [a young man truly devoted to literature]_{3664-a young man truly devoted to literature} . “_[0-i] In [my]_0-i spare time , ” [Denham]_154-ralph reassured [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} . “_[0-i] In [your]_0-i spare time ! ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} echoed . “_[0-i] That is a proof of devotion , indeed . ” [She]_{251-mrs. cosham} half closed [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} eyes , and indulged [herself]_{251-mrs. cosham} in a fascinating picture of [a briefless barrister lodged in a garret]_{3665-a briefless barrister lodged in a garret} , writing immortal novels by the light of a farthing dip . But the romance which fell upon the figures of [great writers]_{3666-great writers} and illumined [their]_{3666-great writers} pages was no false radiance in [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} case . [She]_{251-mrs. cosham} carried [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} pocket [Shakespeare]_170-william about with [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} , and met life fortified by the words of [the poets]_{3667-the poets} . How far [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} saw [Denham]_154-ralph , and how far [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} confused [him]_154-ralph with [some hero of fiction]_{3668-some hero of fiction} , it would be hard to say . Literature had taken possession even of [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} memories . [She]_{251-mrs. cosham} was matching [him]_154-ralph , presumably , with [certain characters in the old novels]_{3669-certain characters in the old novels} , for [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} came out , after a pause , with : “_[0-i] Um — um — Pendennis — [Warrington]_{50-warrington} — [I]_0-i could never forgive [Laura]_261-laura , ” [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} pronounced energetically , “_[261-laura] for not marrying [George]_265-george , in spite of everything . [George Eliot]_265-george did the very same thing ; and [Lewes]_266-lewes was [a little frog - faced man]_{1497-a little frog - faced man} , with the manner of [a dancing master]_{1498-a dancing master} . But [Warrington]_{50-warrington} , now , had everything in [his]_{50-warrington} favor ; intellect , passion , romance , distinction , and the connection was a mere piece of undergraduate folly . [Arthur]_268-arthur , [I]_0-i confess , has always seemed to [me]_0-i a bit of a fop ; [I]_0-i ca n’t imagine how [Laura]_261-laura married [him]_268-arthur . But [you]_1499-you say [you]_1499-you ’re [a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham . Now there are one or two things [I]_0-i should like to ask [you]_1499-you — about [Shakespeare]_170-william — ” [She]_0-i drew out [her]_0-i small , worn volume with some difficulty , opened it , and shook it in the air . “_[1501-they] [They]_1501-they say , nowadays , that [Shakespeare]_170-william was [a lawyer]_{1316-a lawyer} . [They]_1501-they say , that accounts for [his]_170-william knowledge of human nature . There ’s a fine example for [you]_1499-you , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham . Study [[your]_1499-you clients]_{1503-your clients} , [young man]_{1504-young man} , and [the world]_{478-the world} will be the richer one of these days , [I]_0-i have no doubt . Tell [me]_0-i , how do [we]_1506-we come out of it , now ; better or worse than [you]_1499-you expected ? ” Thus called upon to sum up the worth of human nature in a few words , [Ralph]_154-ralph answered unhesitatingly : “_{[251-mrs. cosham]} Worse , [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} , a good deal worse . [I]_0-i ’m afraid [the ordinary man]_{1507-the ordinary man} is [a bit of a rascal]_{1508-a bit of a rascal} — ” “_{[1508-a bit of a rascal]} And [the ordinary woman]_{1509-the ordinary woman} ? ” “_{[1509-the ordinary woman]} No , [I]_0-i do n’t like [the ordinary woman]_{1509-the ordinary woman} either — ” “_[0-i] Ah , dear [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i ’ve no doubt that ’s very true , very true . ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} sighed . “_[269-swift] [Swift]_269-swift would have agreed with [you]_1499-you , anyhow — ” [She]_{251-mrs. cosham} looked at [him]_157-charles , and thought that there were signs of distinct power in [his]_157-charles brow . [He]_157-charles would do well , [she]_{251-mrs. cosham} thought , to devote [himself]_157-charles to satire . “_[269-swift] [Charles Lavington]_157-charles , [you]_1499-you remember , was [a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} interposed , rather resenting the waste of time involved in talking about [fictitious people]_{3670-fictitious people} when [you]_1499-you might be talking about [real people]_{3671-real people} . “_{[996-a solicitor]} But [you]_1499-you would n’t remember [him]_157-charles , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Mr. Lavington]_{270-mr. lavington} ? Oh , yes , [I]_0-i do , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , waking from other thoughts with [her]_{129-katharine} little start . “_[0-i] The summer [we]_1512-we had [a house near [Tenby]_51-tenby]_{1513-a house near tenby} . [I]_0-i remember [the field]_{1514-the field} and [the pond]_{1515-the pond} with the tadpoles , and making haystacks with [Mr. Lavington]_{270-mr. lavington} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} is right . There was [a pond]_{1516-a pond} with tadpoles , ” [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} corroborated . “_{[271-millais]} [Millais]_271-millais made studies of [it]_{1516-a pond} for ‘ Ophelia . ’ Some say that is the best picture [he]_271-millais ever painted — ” “_{[271-millais]} And [I]_0-i remember the dog chained up in [the yard]_{1517-the yard} , and the dead snakes hanging in [the toolhouse]_{1518-the toolhouse} . ” “_[0-i] It was at [Tenby]_51-tenby that [you]_0-i were chased by the bull , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} continued . “_[0-i] But that [you]_0-i could n’t remember , though it ’s true [you]_0-i were [a wonderful child]_{1519-a wonderful child} . Such eyes [she]_{129-katharine} had , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ! [I]_0-i used to say to [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , ‘ [She]_{129-katharine} ’s watching [us]_1521-us , and summing [us]_1521-us all up in [her]_{129-katharine} little mind . ’ And [they]_1522-they had [a nurse]_{1523-a nurse} in those days , ” [she]_0-i went on , telling [her]_0-i story with charming solemnity to [Ralph]_154-ralph , “_{[1523-a nurse]} who was [a good woman]_{1524-a good woman} , but engaged to [a sailor]_{1525-a sailor} . When [she]_{129-katharine} ought to have been attending to [the baby]_{1526-the baby} , [her]_{129-katharine} eyes were on [the sea]_{829-the sea} . And [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} allowed [this girl]_{1528-this girl} — [Susan]_272-susan [her]_{1528-this girl} name was — to have [him]_{406-her father} to stay in [the village]_{1529-the village} . [They]_1522-they abused [her]_{1528-this girl} goodness , [I]_0-i ’m sorry to say , and while [they]_1522-they walked in [the lanes]_{1459-the lanes} , [they]_1522-they stood [the perambulator]_{1531-the perambulator} alone in a field where there was a bull . The animal became enraged by the red blanket in the perambulator , and Heaven knows what might have happened if [a gentleman]_{1158-a gentleman} had not been walking by in the nick of time , and rescued [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in [his]_{1158-a gentleman} arms ! ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think the bull was only a cow , [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[219-aunt celia]} [[My]_0-i darling]_{1533-my darling} , it was a great red Devonshire bull , and not long after it gored [a man to death and had to be destroyed]_{1534-a man to death and had to be destroyed} . And [[your]_{1533-my darling} mother]_{3081-your mother} forgave [Susan]_272-susan — a thing [I]_0-i could never have done . ” “_{[3081-your mother]} [Maggie]_233-maggie ’s sympathies were entirely with [Susan]_272-susan and [the sailor]_{1536-the sailor} , [I]_0-i am sure , ” said [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} , rather tartly . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i sister - in - law]_{1537-my sister - in - law} , ” [she]_0-i continued , “_{[1537-my sister - in - law]} has laid [her]_{1537-my sister - in - law} burdens upon [Providence]_{273-providence} at every crisis in [her]_{1537-my sister - in - law} life , and [Providence]_{273-providence} , [I]_0-i must confess , has responded nobly , so far — ” “_{[273-providence]} Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with a laugh , for [she]_{129-katharine} liked the rashness which irritated [the rest of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{3672-the rest of the family} . “_{[273-providence]} [[My]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} ’s bulls always turn into cows at the critical moment . ” “_{[273-providence]} Well , ” said [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , “_{[273-providence]} [I]_0-i ’m glad [you]_0-i have some one to protect [you]_0-i from bulls now . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ca n’t imagine [William]_170-william protecting [any one from bulls]_{1539-any one from bulls} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . It happened that [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} had once more produced [her]_{251-mrs. cosham} pocket volume of Shakespeare , and was consulting [Ralph]_154-ralph upon an obscure passage in “_{[170-william]} Measure for Measure . ” [He]_154-ralph did not at once seize the meaning of what [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} were saying ; [William]_170-william , [he]_154-ralph supposed , referred to [some small cousin]_{3675-some small cousin} , for [he]_154-ralph now saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as [a child]_{541-a child} in a pinafore ; but , nevertheless , [he]_154-ralph was so much distracted that [his]_154-ralph eye could hardly follow the words on the paper . A moment later [he]_154-ralph heard [them]_3677-them speak distinctly of an engagement ring . “_{[170-william]} [I]_0-i like rubies , ” [he]_154-ralph heard [Katharine]_{129-katharine} say . [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} intoned ; at the same instant “_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney ” fitted itself to “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney ” in [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s mind . [He]_154-ralph felt convinced that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was engaged to [Rodney]_176-rodney . [His]_154-ralph first sensation was one of violent rage with [her]_{129-katharine} for having deceived [him]_154-ralph throughout the visit , fed [him]_154-ralph with pleasant old wives ’ tales , let [him]_154-ralph see [her]_{129-katharine} as a child playing in [a meadow]_{3678-a meadow} , shared [her]_{129-katharine} youth with [him]_154-ralph , while all the time [she]_{129-katharine} was [a stranger entirely]_{3679-a stranger entirely} , and engaged to marry [Rodney]_176-rodney . But was it possible ? Surely it was not possible . For in [his]_154-ralph eyes [she]_{129-katharine} was still [a child]_{541-a child} . [He]_154-ralph paused so long over the book that [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} had time to look over [his]_154-ralph shoulder and ask [[her]_{251-mrs. cosham} niece]_{3681-her niece} : “_[176-rodney] And have [you]_1540-you settled upon [a house]_{1541-a house} yet , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” This convinced [him]_154-ralph of the truth of the monstrous idea . [He]_154-ralph looked up at once and said : “_[1540-you] Yes , it ’s a difficult passage . ” [His]_154-ralph voice had changed so much , [he]_154-ralph spoke with such curtness and even with such contempt , that [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} looked at [him]_154-ralph fairly puzzled . Happily [she]_{129-katharine} belonged to [a generation which expected uncouthness in [[its]_{3682-a generation which expected uncouthness in its men} men]_{3683-its men}]_{3682-a generation which expected uncouthness in its men} , and [she]_{129-katharine} merely felt convinced that [this Mr. Denham]_131-denham was very , very clever . [She]_{129-katharine} took back [her]_{129-katharine} Shakespeare , as [Denham]_131-denham seemed to have no more to say , and secreted it once more about [[her]_{129-katharine} person]_{3684-her person} with the infinitely pathetic resignation of [the old]_{3685-the old} . “_[1540-you] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s engaged to [William Rodney]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , by way of filling in the pause ; “_[176-rodney] [a very old friend of ours]_{1542-a very old friend of ours} . [He]_176-rodney has a wonderful knowledge of literature , too — wonderful . ” [She]_{129-katharine} nodded [her]_{129-katharine} head rather vaguely . “_[176-rodney] [You]_1543-you should meet [each other]_{451-each other} . ” [Denham]_131-denham ’s one wish was to leave [the house]_{377-the house} as soon as [he]_131-denham could ; but [the elderly ladies]_{3687-the elderly ladies} had risen , and were proposing to visit [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} in [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} bedroom]_{3396-her bedroom} , so that any move on [his]_131-denham part was impossible . At the same time , [he]_131-denham wished to say something , but [he]_131-denham knew not what , to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} alone . [She]_{129-katharine} took [[her]_{129-katharine} aunts]_{3689-her aunts} [upstairs]_523-upstairs , and returned , coming towards [him]_131-denham once more with an air of innocence and friendliness that amazed [him]_131-denham . “_[176-rodney] [[My]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} will be back , ” [she]_0-i said . “_{[2986-my father]} Wo n’t [you]_1546-you sit down ? ” and [she]_0-i laughed , as if now [they]_3691-they might share a perfectly friendly laugh at the tea - party . But [Ralph]_154-ralph made no attempt to seat [himself]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must congratulate [you]_0-i , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[0-i] It was news to [me]_0-i . ” [He]_154-ralph saw [her]_0-i face change , but only to become graver than before . “_[0-i] [My]_0-i engagement ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[0-i] Yes , [I]_0-i am going to marry [William Rodney]_176-rodney . ” [Ralph]_154-ralph remained standing with [his]_154-ralph hand on the back of a chair in absolute silence . [Abysses]_274-abysses seemed to plunge into darkness between [them]_3691-they . [He]_154-ralph looked at [her]_0-i , but [her]_0-i face showed that [she]_0-i was not thinking of [him]_154-ralph . No regret or consciousness of wrong disturbed [her]_0-i . “_[176-rodney] Well , [I]_0-i must go , ” [he]_154-ralph said at length . [She]_0-i seemed about to say something , then changed [her]_0-i mind and said merely : “_[0-i] [You]_0-i will come again , [I]_0-i hope . [We]_1547-we always seem”—she hesitated—“to_[0-i] be interrupted . ” [He]_154-ralph bowed and left [the room]_{379-the room} . [Ralph]_154-ralph strode with extreme swiftness along [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . Every muscle was taut and braced as if to resist some sudden attack from outside . For the moment it seemed as if the attack were about to be directed against [his]_154-ralph body , and [his]_154-ralph brain thus was on the alert , but without understanding . Finding [himself]_154-ralph , after a few minutes , no longer under observation , and no attack delivered , [he]_154-ralph slackened [his]_154-ralph pace , the pain spread all through [him]_154-ralph , took possession of every governing seat , and met with scarcely any resistance from powers exhausted by [their]_1547-we first effort at defence . [He]_154-ralph took [his]_154-ralph way languidly along [the river embankment]_{3694-the river embankment} , away from [home]_2992-home rather than towards [it]_2992-home . [The world]_{478-the world} had [him]_154-ralph at its mercy . [He]_154-ralph made no pattern out of the sights [he]_154-ralph saw . [He]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph now , as [he]_154-ralph had often fancied [other people]_{2964-other people} , adrift on [the stream]_{963-the stream} , and far removed from control of it , [a man with no grasp upon circumstances]_{3699-a man with no grasp upon circumstances} any longer . [Old battered men]_{3700-old battered men} loafing at the doors of [public - houses]_{3701-public - houses} now seemed to be [[his]_154-ralph fellows]_{3702-his fellows} , and [he]_154-ralph felt , as [he]_154-ralph supposed [them]_{3700-old battered men} to feel , a mingling of envy and hatred towards [those who passed quickly and certainly to a goal of]_{3703-those who passed quickly and certainly to a goal of} [their]_{3700-old battered men} own . [They]_{3700-old battered men} , too , saw things very thin and shadowy , and were wafted about by the lightest breath of wind . For the substantial world , with its prospect of avenues leading on and on to the invisible distance , had slipped from [him]_154-ralph , since [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was engaged . Now all [his]_154-ralph life was visible , and the straight , meager path had its ending soon enough . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was engaged , and [she]_{129-katharine} had deceived [him]_154-ralph , too . [He]_154-ralph felt for corners of [his]_154-ralph being untouched by [his]_154-ralph disaster ; but there was no limit to the flood of damage ; not one of [his]_154-ralph possessions was safe now . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had deceived [him]_154-ralph ; [she]_{129-katharine} had mixed [herself]_{129-katharine} with every thought of [his]_154-ralph , and reft of [her]_{129-katharine} they seemed false thoughts which [he]_154-ralph would blush to think again . [His]_154-ralph life seemed immeasurably impoverished . [He]_154-ralph sat [himself]_154-ralph down , in spite of the chilly fog which obscured [the farther bank]_{3704-the farther bank} and left its lights suspended upon a blank surface , upon one of the riverside seats , and let the tide of disillusionment sweep through [him]_154-ralph . For the time being all bright points in [his]_154-ralph life were blotted out ; all prominences leveled . At first [he]_154-ralph made [himself]_154-ralph believe that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had treated [him]_154-ralph badly , and drew comfort from the thought that , left alone , [she]_{129-katharine} would recollect this , and think of [him]_154-ralph and tender [him]_154-ralph , in silence , at any rate , an apology . But this grain of comfort failed [him]_154-ralph after a second or two , for , upon reflection , [he]_154-ralph had to admit that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} owed [him]_154-ralph nothing . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had promised nothing , taken nothing ; to [her]_{129-katharine} [his]_154-ralph dreams had meant nothing . This , indeed , was the lowest pitch of [his]_154-ralph despair . If the best of one ’s feelings means nothing to [the person most concerned in those feelings]_{3705-the person most concerned in those feelings} , what reality is left [us]_3706-us ? The old romance which had warmed [his]_154-ralph days for [him]_154-ralph , the thoughts of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} which had painted every hour , were now made to appear foolish and enfeebled . [He]_154-ralph rose , and looked into [the river]_{945-the river} , whose swift race of dun - colored waters seemed the very spirit of futility and oblivion . “_[1547-we] In what can [one]_422-one trust , then ? ” [he]_154-ralph thought , as [he]_154-ralph leant there . So feeble and insubstantial did [he]_154-ralph feel [himself]_154-ralph that [he]_154-ralph repeated the word aloud . “_[1547-we] In what can one trust ? Not in [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women . Not in one ’s dreams about [them]_1551-them . There ’s nothing — nothing , nothing left at all . ” Now [Denham]_154-ralph had reason to know that [he]_154-ralph could bring to birth and keep alive a fine anger when [he]_154-ralph chose . [Rodney]_176-rodney provided a good target for that emotion . And yet at the moment , [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} seemed disembodied ghosts . [He]_154-ralph could scarcely remember the look of [them]_1551-them . [His]_154-ralph mind plunged lower and lower . [Their]_1551-them marriage seemed of no importance to [him]_154-ralph . All things had turned to ghosts ; the whole mass of [the world]_{478-the world} was insubstantial vapor , surrounding the solitary spark in [his]_154-ralph mind , whose burning point [he]_154-ralph could remember , for it burnt no more . [He]_154-ralph had once cherished a belief , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had embodied this belief , and [she]_{129-katharine} did so no longer . [He]_154-ralph did not blame [her]_{129-katharine} ; [he]_154-ralph blamed nothing , [nobody]_2970-nobody ; [he]_154-ralph saw the truth . [He]_154-ralph saw the dun - colored race of waters and [the blank shore]_{3710-the blank shore} . But life is vigorous ; the body lives , and the body , no doubt , dictated the reflection , which now urged [him]_154-ralph to movement , that one may cast away the forms of [human beings]_{923-human beings} , and yet retain the passion which seemed inseparable from [their]_{923-human beings} existence in the flesh . Now this passion burnt on [his]_154-ralph horizon , as the winter sun makes a greenish pane in the west through thinning clouds . [His]_154-ralph eyes were set on something infinitely far and remote ; by that light [he]_154-ralph felt [he]_154-ralph could walk , and would , in future , have to find [his]_154-ralph way . But that was all there was left to [him]_154-ralph of [a populous and teeming world]_{3712-a populous and teeming world} . The lunch hour in [the office]_{3177-the office} was only partly spent by [Denham]_154-ralph in the consumption of food . Whether fine or wet , [he]_154-ralph passed most of it pacing [the gravel paths in [Lincoln]_52-lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{3714-the gravel paths in lincoln ’s inn fields} . [The children]_{3583-the children} got to know [his]_154-ralph figure , and [the sparrows]_{3716-the sparrows} expected [their]_{3716-the sparrows} daily scattering of bread - crumbs . No doubt , since [he]_154-ralph often gave a copper and almost always a handful of bread , [he]_154-ralph was not as blind to [his]_154-ralph surroundings as [he]_154-ralph thought [himself]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph thought that these winter days were spent in long hours before white papers radiant in electric light ; and in short passages through [fog - dimmed streets]_{3717-fog - dimmed streets} . When [he]_154-ralph came back to [his]_154-ralph work after lunch [he]_154-ralph carried in [his]_154-ralph head a picture of [the Strand]_{19-the strand} , scattered with omnibuses , and of the purple shapes of leaves pressed flat upon the gravel , as if [his]_154-ralph eyes had always been bent upon the ground . [His]_154-ralph brain worked incessantly , but [his]_154-ralph thought was attended with so little joy that [he]_154-ralph did not willingly recall it ; but drove ahead , now in this direction , now in that ; and came [home]_2992-home laden with dark books borrowed from [a library]_{3375-a library} . [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , coming from [the Strand]_{19-the strand} at lunch - time , saw [him]_154-ralph one day taking [his]_154-ralph turn , closely buttoned in an overcoat , and so lost in thought that [he]_154-ralph might have been sitting in [[his]_154-ralph own room]_{3720-his own room} . [She]_175-mary was overcome by something very like awe by the sight of [him]_154-ralph ; then [she]_175-mary felt much inclined to laugh , although [her]_175-mary pulse beat faster . [She]_175-mary passed [him]_154-ralph , and [he]_154-ralph never saw [her]_175-mary . [She]_175-mary came back and touched [him]_154-ralph on the shoulder . “_[175-mary] Gracious , [Mary]_175-mary ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed . “_[175-mary] How [you]_175-mary startled [me]_0-i ! ” “_[0-i] Yes . [You]_0-i looked as if [you]_0-i were walking in [your]_0-i sleep , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[0-i] Are [you]_0-i arranging some terrible love affair ? Have [you]_0-i got to reconcile [a desperate couple]_{1552-a desperate couple} ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was n’t thinking about [my]_0-i work , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied , rather hastily . “_[0-i] And , besides , that sort of thing ’s not in [my]_0-i line , ” [he]_154-ralph added , rather grimly . The morning was fine , and [they]_3721-they had still some minutes of leisure to spend . [They]_3721-they had not met for two or three weeks , and [Mary]_175-mary had much to say to [Ralph]_154-ralph ; but [she]_175-mary was not certain how far [he]_154-ralph wished for [her]_175-mary company . However , after a turn or two , in which a few facts were communicated , [he]_154-ralph suggested sitting down , and [she]_175-mary took the seat beside [him]_154-ralph . The sparrows came fluttering about [them]_3721-they , and [Ralph]_154-ralph produced from [his]_154-ralph pocket the half of a roll saved from [his]_154-ralph luncheon . [He]_154-ralph threw a few crumbs among them . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve never seen sparrows so tame , ” [Mary]_175-mary observed , by way of saying something . “_[0-i] No , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] The sparrows in [Hyde Park]_{54-hyde park} are n’t as tame as this . If [we]_1553-we keep perfectly still , [I]_0-i ’ll get one to settle on [my]_0-i arm . ” [Mary]_175-mary felt that [she]_175-mary could have forgone this display of animal good temper , but seeing that [Ralph]_154-ralph , for some curious reason , took a pride in the sparrows , [she]_175-mary bet [him]_154-ralph sixpence that [he]_154-ralph would not succeed . “_[0-i] Done ! ” [he]_154-ralph said ; and [his]_154-ralph eye , which had been gloomy , showed a spark of light . [His]_154-ralph conversation was now addressed entirely to a bald cock - sparrow , who seemed bolder than the rest ; and [Mary]_175-mary took the opportunity of looking at [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary was not satisfied ; [his]_154-ralph face was worn , and [his]_154-ralph expression stern . [A child]_{541-a child} came bowling its hoop through the concourse of birds , and [Ralph]_154-ralph threw [his]_154-ralph last crumbs of bread into the bushes with a snort of impatience . “_[0-i] That ’s what always happens — just as [I]_0-i ’ve almost got [him]_1554-him , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[0-i] Here ’s [your]_1555-your sixpence , [Mary]_175-mary . But [you]_1555-your ’ve only got it thanks to [that brute of [a boy]_{2993-a boy}]_{1556-that brute of a boy} . [They]_1558-they ought n’t to be allowed to bowl hoops here — ” “_[1558-they] Ought n’t to be allowed to bowl hoops ! [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Ralph]_154-ralph , what nonsense ! ” “_[154-ralph] [You]_175-mary always say that , ” [he]_154-ralph complained ; “_[175-mary] and it is n’t nonsense . What ’s the point of having [a garden]_{1452-a garden} if one ca n’t watch birds in [it]_{1452-a garden} ? [The street]_{397-the street} does all right for hoops . And if [children]_{3537-children} ca n’t be trusted in [the streets]_{388-the streets} , [[their]_{3537-children} mothers]_{1564-their mothers} should keep [them]_{3537-children} at [home]_2992-home . ” [Mary]_175-mary made no answer to this remark , but frowned . [She]_175-mary leant back on the seat and looked about [her]_175-mary at [the great houses breaking the soft gray - blue sky with [their]_{3723-the great houses breaking the soft gray - blue sky with their chimneys} chimneys]_{3723-the great houses breaking the soft gray - blue sky with their chimneys} . “_{[1564-their mothers]} Ah , well , ” [she]_0-i said , “_{[1564-their mothers]} [London]_2-london ’s [a fine place to live in]_{1566-a fine place to live in} . [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i could sit and watch [people]_383-people all day long . [I]_0-i like [my]_0-i fellow - creatures .... ” [Ralph]_154-ralph sighed impatiently . “_[0-i] Yes , [I]_0-i think so , when [you]_1568-you come to know [them]_1569-them , ” [she]_0-i added , as if [his]_154-ralph disagreement had been spoken . “_[1568-you] That ’s just when [I]_0-i do n’t like them , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] Still , [I]_0-i do n’t see why [you]_1568-you should n’t cherish that illusion , if it pleases [you]_1568-you . ” [He]_154-ralph spoke without much vehemence of agreement or disagreement . [He]_154-ralph seemed chilled . “_[0-i] Wake up , [Ralph]_154-ralph ! [You]_154-ralph ’re half asleep ! ” [Mary]_175-mary cried , turning and pinching [his]_154-ralph sleeve . “_[154-ralph] What have [you]_154-ralph been doing with [yourself]_154-ralph ? Moping ? Working ? Despising [the world]_{478-the world} , as usual ? ” As [he]_154-ralph merely shook [his]_154-ralph head , and filled [his]_154-ralph pipe , [she]_175-mary went on : “_[154-ralph] It ’s a bit of a pose , is n’t it ? ” “_[154-ralph] Not more than most things , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[154-ralph] Well , ” [Mary]_175-mary remarked , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve a great deal to say to [you]_154-ralph , but [I]_0-i must go on — [we]_1571-we have [a committee]_{1572-a committee} . ” [She]_175-mary rose , but hesitated , looking down upon [him]_154-ralph rather gravely . “_{[1572-a committee]} [You]_154-ralph do n’t look happy , [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[154-ralph] Is it anything , or is it nothing ? ” [He]_154-ralph did not immediately answer [her]_175-mary , but rose , too , and walked with [her]_175-mary towards the gate . As usual , [he]_154-ralph did not speak to [her]_175-mary without considering whether what [he]_154-ralph was about to say was the sort of thing that [he]_154-ralph could say to [her]_175-mary . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve been bothered , ” [he]_154-ralph said at length . “_[0-i] Partly by work , and partly by family troubles . [Charles]_157-charles has been behaving like [a fool]_{3573-a fool} . [He]_157-charles wants to go out to [Canada]_55-canada as [a farmer]_{1574-a farmer} — ” “_{[157-charles]} Well , there ’s something to be said for that , ” said [Mary]_175-mary ; and [they]_3724-they passed the gate , and walked slowly round [the Fields]_{3725-the fields} again , discussing difficulties which , as a matter of fact , were more or less chronic in [the Denham family]_{3726-the denham family} , and only now brought forward to appease [Mary]_175-mary ’s sympathy , which , however , soothed [Ralph]_154-ralph more than [he]_154-ralph was aware of . [She]_175-mary made [him]_154-ralph at least dwell upon problems which were real in the sense that they were capable of solution ; and the true cause of [his]_154-ralph melancholy , which was not susceptible to such treatment , sank rather more deeply into the shades of [his]_154-ralph mind . [Mary]_175-mary was attentive ; [she]_175-mary was helpful . [Ralph]_154-ralph could not help feeling grateful to [her]_175-mary , the more so , perhaps , because [he]_154-ralph had not told [her]_175-mary the truth about [his]_154-ralph state ; and when [they]_3724-they reached the gate again [he]_154-ralph wished to make some affectionate objection to [her]_175-mary leaving [him]_154-ralph . But [his]_154-ralph affection took the rather uncouth form of expostulating with [her]_175-mary about [her]_175-mary work . “_{[157-charles]} What [d’you]_1575-d’you want to sit on a committee for ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . “_{[1575-d’you]} It ’s waste of [your]_1575-d’you time , [Mary]_175-mary . ” “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i agree with [you]_1576-you that [a country walk]_{1577-a country walk} would benefit [the world]_{478-the world} more , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[0-i] Look here , ” [she]_175-mary added suddenly , “_[0-i] why do n’t [you]_1576-you come to [us]_1579-us at Christmas ? It ’s almost the best time of year . ” “_[1576-you] Come to [you]_1575-d’you at [Disham]_56-disham ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph repeated . “_[1576-you] Yes . [We]_1579-us wo n’t interfere with [you]_1576-you . But [you]_1576-you can tell [me]_0-i later , ” [she]_175-mary said , rather hastily , and then started off in the direction of [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} . [She]_175-mary had invited [him]_154-ralph on the impulse of the moment , as a vision of [the country]_{761-the country} came before [her]_175-mary ; and now [she]_175-mary was annoyed with [herself]_175-mary for having done so , and then [she]_175-mary was annoyed at being annoyed . “_[1576-you] If [I]_0-i ca n’t face a walk in [a field]_{1580-a field} alone with [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i reasoned , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’d better buy a cat and live in [a lodging at [Ealing]_44-ealing]_{1581-a lodging at ealing} , like [Sally Seal]_200-sally — and [he]_154-ralph wo n’t come . Or did [he]_154-ralph mean that [he]_154-ralph would come ? ” [She]_0-i shook [her]_0-i head . [She]_0-i really did not know what [he]_154-ralph had meant . [She]_0-i never felt quite certain ; but now [she]_0-i was more than usually baffled . Was [he]_154-ralph concealing something from [her]_0-i ? [His]_154-ralph manner had been odd ; [his]_154-ralph deep absorption had impressed [her]_0-i ; there was something in [him]_154-ralph that [she]_0-i had not fathomed , and the mystery of [his]_154-ralph nature laid more of a spell upon [her]_0-i than [she]_0-i liked . Moreover , [she]_0-i could not prevent [herself]_0-i from doing now what [she]_0-i had often blamed others of [her]_0-i sex for doing — from endowing [[her]_0-i friend]_{3728-her friend} with a kind of heavenly fire , and passing [her]_0-i life before it for [his]_154-ralph sanction . Under this process , the committee rather dwindled in importance ; [the Suffrage]_{3729-the suffrage} shrank ; [she]_0-i vowed [she]_0-i would work harder at the Italian language ; [she]_0-i thought [she]_0-i would take up the study of birds . But this program for a perfect life threatened to become so absurd that [she]_0-i very soon caught [herself]_0-i out in the evil habit , and was rehearsing [her]_0-i speech to [the committee]_{3730-the committee} by the time the chestnut - colored bricks of [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} came in sight . Indeed , [she]_0-i never noticed [them]_3731-them . [She]_0-i ran [upstairs]_523-upstairs as usual , and was completely awakened to reality by the sight of [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , on the landing outside [the office]_{3177-the office} , inducing a very large dog to drink water out of a tumbler . “_[154-ralph] [Miss Markham]_{199-miss markham} has already arrived , ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} remarked , with due solemnity , “_{[199-miss markham]} and this is [her]_{199-miss markham} dog . ” “_{[199-miss markham]} A very fine dog , too , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , patting [him]_{1582-a magnificent fellow} on the head . “_{[199-miss markham]} Yes . [A magnificent fellow]_{1582-a magnificent fellow} , ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} agreed . “_{[1582-a magnificent fellow]} A kind of [St. Bernard]_{275-st. bernard} , [she]_{199-miss markham} tells [me]_0-i — so like [Kit]_{129-katharine} to have [a St. Bernard]_{1583-a st. bernard} . And [you]_1584-you guard [[your]_1584-you mistress]_{1585-your mistress} well , do n’t [you]_1584-you , [Sailor]_1586-sailor ? [You]_1584-you see that [wicked men]_{1587-wicked men} do n’t break into [her]_{199-miss markham} larder when [she]_{199-miss markham} ’s out at [her]_{199-miss markham} work — helping [poor souls who have lost [their]_{1588-poor souls who have lost their way .... but we ’re late} way .... But [we]_1589-we ’re late]_{1588-poor souls who have lost their way .... but we ’re late} — [we]_1589-we must begin ! ” and scattering the rest of the water indiscriminately over the floor , [she]_{196-mrs. seal} hurried [Mary]_175-mary into [the committee - room]_{3734-the committee - room} . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} was in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} glory . The machinery which [he]_{197-mr. clacton} had perfected and controlled was now about to turn out its bi - monthly product , a committee meeting ; and [his]_{197-mr. clacton} pride in the perfect structure of these assemblies was great . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} loved the jargon of [committee - rooms]_{3735-committee - rooms} ; [he]_{197-mr. clacton} loved the way in which the door kept opening as the clock struck the hour , in obedience to a few strokes of [his]_{197-mr. clacton} pen on a piece of paper ; and when it had opened sufficiently often , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} loved to issue from [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} inner chamber]_{3736-his inner chamber} with documents in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} hands , visibly important , with a preoccupied expression on [his]_{197-mr. clacton} face that might have suited [a Prime Minister]_{3737-a prime minister} advancing to meet [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} Cabinet]_{3738-his cabinet} . By [his]_{197-mr. clacton} orders the table had been decorated beforehand with six sheets of blotting - paper , with six pens , six ink - pots , a tumbler and a jug of water , a bell , and , in deference to the taste of [the lady members]_{3739-the lady members} , a vase of hardy chrysanthemums . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} had already surreptitiously straightened the sheets of blotting - paper in relation to the ink - pots , and now stood in front of the fire engaged in conversation with [Miss Markham]_{199-miss markham} . But [his]_{197-mr. clacton} eye was on the door , and when [Mary]_175-mary and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} entered , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} gave a little laugh and observed to the assembly which was scattered about [the room]_{379-the room} : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i fancy , [ladies and gentlemen]_{1590-ladies and gentlemen} , that [we]_1591-we are ready to commence . ” So speaking , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} took [his]_{197-mr. clacton} seat at the head of the table , and arranging one bundle of papers upon [his]_{197-mr. clacton} right and another upon [his]_{197-mr. clacton} left , called upon [Miss Datchet]_175-mary to read the minutes of the previous meeting . [Mary]_175-mary obeyed . [A keen observer]_{3741-a keen observer} might have wondered why it was necessary for [the secretary]_{3742-the secretary} to knit [her]_{3742-the secretary} brows so closely over the tolerably matter - of - fact statement before [her]_{3742-the secretary} . Could there be any doubt in [her]_{3742-the secretary} mind that it had been resolved to circularize [the provinces]_{1016-the provinces} with Leaflet No . 3 , or to issue a statistical diagram showing the proportion of [married women]_{3744-married women} to spinsters in [New Zealand]_{58-new zealand} ; or that the net profits of [[Mrs. Hipsley]_{276-mrs. hipsley} ’s Bazaar]_{3745-mrs. hipsley ’s bazaar} had reached a total of five pounds eight shillings and twopence half - penny ? Could any doubt as to the perfect sense and propriety of these statements be disturbing [her]_{3742-the secretary} ? [No one]_{2921-no one} could have guessed , from the look of [her]_{3742-the secretary} , that [she]_{3742-the secretary} was disturbed at all . [A pleasanter and saner woman]_{3747-a pleasanter and saner woman} than [Mary Datchet]_175-mary was never seen within [a committee - room]_{3748-a committee - room} . [She]_{3742-the secretary} seemed a compound of the autumn leaves and the winter sunshine ; less poetically speaking , [she]_{3742-the secretary} showed both gentleness and strength , an indefinable promise of soft maternity blending with [her]_{3742-the secretary} evident fitness for honest labor . Nevertheless , [she]_{3742-the secretary} had great difficulty in reducing [her]_{3742-the secretary} mind to obedience ; and [her]_{3742-the secretary} reading lacked conviction , as if , as was indeed the case , [she]_{3742-the secretary} had lost the power of visualizing what [she]_{3742-the secretary} read . And directly the list was completed , [her]_{3742-the secretary} mind floated to [[Lincoln]_52-lincoln ’s [Inn Fields]_{59-inn fields}]_{3749-lincoln ’s inn fields} and the fluttering wings of innumerable sparrows . Was [Ralph]_154-ralph still enticing the bald - headed cock - sparrow to sit upon [his]_154-ralph hand ? Had [he]_154-ralph succeeded ? Would [he]_154-ralph ever succeed ? [She]_{3742-the secretary} had meant to ask [him]_154-ralph why it is that the sparrows in [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} are tamer than the sparrows in [Hyde Park]_{54-hyde park} — perhaps it is that [the passers - by]_{3750-the passers - by} are rarer , and [they]_{3750-the passers - by} come to recognize [[their]_{3750-the passers - by} benefactors]_{3751-their benefactors} . For the first half - hour of the committee meeting , [Mary]_175-mary had thus to do battle with the skeptical presence of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , who threatened to have it all [his]_154-ralph own way . [Mary]_175-mary tried half a dozen methods of ousting [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary raised [her]_175-mary voice , [she]_175-mary articulated distinctly , [she]_175-mary looked firmly at [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s bald head , [she]_175-mary began to write a note . To [her]_175-mary annoyance , [her]_175-mary pencil drew a little round figure on the blotting - paper , which , [she]_175-mary could not deny , was really a bald - headed cock - sparrow . [She]_175-mary looked again at [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ; yes , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was bald , and so are cock - sparrows . Never was [a secretary]_{3752-a secretary} tormented by so many unsuitable suggestions , and they all came , alas ! with something ludicrously grotesque about them , which might , at any moment , provoke [her]_175-mary to such flippancy as would shock [[her]_175-mary colleagues]_{3753-her colleagues} for ever . The thought of what [she]_175-mary might say made [her]_175-mary bite [her]_175-mary lips , as if [her]_175-mary lips would protect [her]_175-mary . But all these suggestions were but flotsam and jetsam cast to the surface by a more profound disturbance , which , as [she]_175-mary could not consider it at present , manifested its existence by these grotesque nods and beckonings . Consider it , [she]_175-mary must , when the committee was over . Meanwhile , [she]_175-mary was behaving scandalously ; [she]_175-mary was looking out of the window , and thinking of the color of the sky , and of the decorations on [the Imperial Hotel]_{3754-the imperial hotel} , when [she]_175-mary ought to have been shepherding [[her]_175-mary colleagues]_{3753-her colleagues} , and pinning [them]_{3753-her colleagues} down to the matter in hand . [She]_175-mary could not bring [herself]_175-mary to attach more weight to one project than to another . [Ralph]_154-ralph had said — [she]_175-mary could not stop to consider what [he]_154-ralph had said , but [he]_154-ralph had somehow divested the proceedings of all reality . And then , without conscious effort , by some trick of the brain , [she]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary becoming interested in some scheme for organizing a newspaper campaign . Certain articles were to be written ; [certain editors]_{3756-certain editors} approached . What line was it advisable to take ? [She]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary strongly disapproving of what [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} was saying . [She]_175-mary committed [herself]_175-mary to the opinion that now was the time to strike hard . Directly [she]_175-mary had said this , [she]_175-mary felt that [she]_175-mary had turned upon [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s ghost ; and [she]_175-mary became more and more in earnest , and anxious to bring [the others]_{1091-the others} round to [her]_175-mary point of view . Once more , [she]_175-mary knew exactly and indisputably what is right and what is wrong . As if emerging from a mist , [the old foes of the public good]_{3758-the old foes of the public good} loomed ahead of [her]_175-mary — [capitalists]_{3759-capitalists} , [newspaper proprietors]_{3760-newspaper proprietors} , [anti - suffragists]_{3761-anti - suffragists} , and , in some ways most pernicious of all , [the masses who take no interest one way or another]_{3762-the masses who take no interest one way or another} — among whom , for the time being , [she]_175-mary certainly discerned the features of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . Indeed , when [Miss Markham]_{199-miss markham} asked [her]_175-mary to suggest the names of [a few friends of hers]_{3763-a few friends of hers} , [she]_175-mary expressed [herself]_175-mary with unusual bitterness : “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i friends]_{1592-my friends} think all this kind of thing useless . ” [She]_175-mary felt that [she]_175-mary was really saying that to [Ralph]_154-ralph [himself]_154-ralph . “_{[1592-my friends]} Oh , [they]_{1592-my friends} ’re that sort , are [they]_{1592-my friends} ? ” said [Miss Markham]_{199-miss markham} , with a little laugh ; and with renewed vigor [[their]_{1592-my friends} legions]_{3764-their legions} charged [the foe]_{3765-the foe} . [Mary]_175-mary ’s spirits had been low when [she]_175-mary entered [the committee - room]_{3734-the committee - room} ; but now they were considerably improved . [She]_175-mary knew the ways of [this world]_{1389-this world} ; [it]_{1389-this world} was [a shapely , orderly place]_{3768-a shapely , orderly place} ; [she]_175-mary felt convinced of its right and its wrong ; and the feeling that [she]_175-mary was fit to deal a heavy blow against [[her]_175-mary enemies]_{3769-her enemies} warmed [her]_175-mary heart and kindled [her]_175-mary eye . In one of those flights of fancy , not characteristic of [her]_175-mary but tiresomely frequent this afternoon , [she]_175-mary envisaged [herself]_175-mary battered with rotten eggs upon a platform , from which [Ralph]_154-ralph vainly begged [her]_175-mary to descend . But — “_{[1592-my friends]} What do [I]_0-i matter compared with the cause ? ” [she]_175-mary said , and so on . Much to [her]_175-mary credit , however teased by foolish fancies , [she]_175-mary kept the surface of [her]_175-mary brain moderate and vigilant , and subdued [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} very tactfully more than once when [she]_175-mary demanded , “_{[1592-my friends]} Action!—everywhere!—at once ! ” as became [[[her]_175-mary father]_{406-her father} ’s daughter]_{3771-her father ’s daughter} . [The other members of the committee]_{3772-the other members of the committee} , who were [all rather elderly people]_{3773-all rather elderly people} , were a good deal impressed by [Mary]_175-mary , and inclined to side with [her]_175-mary and against [each other]_{451-each other} , partly , perhaps , because of [her]_175-mary youth . The feeling that [she]_175-mary controlled [them]_{3772-the other members of the committee} all filled [Mary]_175-mary with a sense of power ; and [she]_175-mary felt that no work can equal in importance , or be so exciting as , the work of making [other people]_{2964-other people} do what [you]_3776-you want [them]_{2964-other people} to do . Indeed , when [she]_175-mary had won [her]_175-mary point [she]_175-mary felt a slight degree of contempt for [the people who had yielded to [her]_175-mary]_{3777-the people who had yielded to her} . [The committee]_{3730-the committee} now rose , gathered together [their]_{3730-the committee} papers , shook them straight , placed them in [their]_{3730-the committee} attache - cases , snapped the locks firmly together , and hurried away , having , for the most part , to catch trains , in order to keep other appointments with other committees , for [they]_{3730-the committee} were [all busy people]_{3779-all busy people} . [Mary]_175-mary , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , and [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} were left alone ; [the room]_{379-the room} was hot and untidy , the pieces of pink blotting - paper were lying at different angles upon the table , and the tumbler was half full of water , which [some one]_{376-some one} had poured out and forgotten to drink . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} began preparing the tea , while [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} retired to [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} room]_{521-his room} to file the fresh accumulation of documents . [Mary]_175-mary was too much excited even to help [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} with the cups and saucers . [She]_175-mary flung up the window and stood by it , looking out . The street lamps were already lit ; and through the mist in [the square]_{3201-the square} one could see little figures hurrying across [the road]_{941-the road} and along the pavement , on the farther side . In [her]_175-mary absurd mood of lustful arrogance , [Mary]_175-mary looked at [the little figures]_{3785-the little figures} and thought , “_{[1592-my friends]} If [I]_0-i liked [I]_0-i could make [you]_1593-you go in [there]_2927-there or stop short ; [I]_0-i could make [you]_1593-you walk in single file or in double file ; [I]_0-i could do what [I]_0-i liked with [you]_1593-you . ” Then [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} came and stood by [her]_1593-you . “_[0-i] Ought n’t [you]_1593-you to put something round [your]_1593-you shoulders , [Sally]_200-sally ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked , in rather a condescending tone of voice , feeling a sort of pity for [the enthusiastic ineffective little woman]_{3786-the enthusiastic ineffective little woman} . But [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} paid no attention to the suggestion . “_[200-sally] Well , did [you]_1593-you enjoy [yourself]_1593-you ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked , with a little laugh . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} drew a deep breath , restrained [herself]_{196-mrs. seal} , and then burst out , looking out , too , upon [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} and [Southampton Row]_{25-southampton row} , and at [the passers - by]_{3750-the passers - by} , “_[200-sally] Ah , if only one could get [every one of [those people]_{3030-those people}]_{1595-every one of those people} into [this room]_{3013-this room} , and make [them]_{3030-those people} understand for five minutes ! But [they]_{3030-those people} must see the truth some day .... If only one could make [them]_{3030-those people} see it .... ” [Mary]_175-mary knew [herself]_175-mary to be very much wiser than [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , and when [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} said anything , even if it was what [Mary]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary was feeling , [she]_175-mary automatically thought of all that there was to be said against it . On this occasion [her]_175-mary arrogant feeling that [she]_{196-mrs. seal} could direct [everybody]_{1241-everybody} dwindled away . “_[1599-you] Let ’s have [our]_1598-we tea , ” [she]_175-mary said , turning back from the window and pulling down the blind . “_[1599-you] It was a good meeting — didn’t [you]_1599-you think so , [Sally]_200-sally ? ” [she]_175-mary let fall , casually , as [she]_175-mary sat down at the table . Surely [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} must realize that [Mary]_175-mary had been extraordinarily efficient ? “_[1599-you] But [we]_1598-we go at such a snail ’s pace , ” said [Sally]_200-sally , shaking [her]_200-sally head impatiently . At this [Mary]_175-mary burst out laughing , and all [her]_175-mary arrogance was dissipated . “_[1598-we] [You]_1599-you can afford to laugh , ” said [Sally]_200-sally , with another shake of [her]_200-sally head , “_[1599-you] but [I]_0-i ca n’t . [I]_0-i ’m fifty - five , and [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i shall be in [my]_0-i grave by the time [we]_1598-we get it — if [we]_1598-we ever do . ” “_[0-i] Oh , no , [you]_1599-you wo n’t be in [your]_1599-you grave , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , kindly . “_[1599-you] It ’ll be such a great day , ” said [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , with a toss of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} locks . “_[1599-you] A great day , not only for [us]_1598-we , but for [civilization]_{1600-civilization} . That ’s what [I]_0-i feel , [you]_1599-you know , about these meetings . Each one of [them]_1601-them is a step onwards in the great march — humanity , [you]_1599-you know . [We]_1598-we do want [the people]_{3250-the people} after [us]_1598-we to have a better time of it — and [so many]_{1603-so many} do n’t see it . [I]_0-i wonder how it is that [they]_{1603-so many} do n’t see it ? ” [She]_{196-mrs. seal} was carrying plates and cups from the cupboard as [she]_{196-mrs. seal} spoke , so that [her]_{196-mrs. seal} sentences were more than usually broken apart . [Mary]_175-mary could not help looking at [the odd little priestess of humanity]_{3789-the odd little priestess of humanity} with something like admiration . While [she]_175-mary had been thinking about [herself]_175-mary , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} had thought of nothing but [her]_175-mary vision . “_{[1603-so many]} [You]_1599-you must n’t wear [yourself]_1599-you out , [Sally]_200-sally , if [you]_200-sally want to see the great day , ” [she]_0-i said , rising and trying to take a plate of biscuits from [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s hands . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1178-my dear child} , what else is [my]_0-i old body good for ? ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , clinging more tightly than before to [her]_0-i plate of biscuits . “_[0-i] Should n’t [I]_0-i be proud to give everything [I]_0-i have to the cause?—for [I]_0-i ’m not [an intelligence like [you]_200-sally]_{1605-an intelligence like you} . There were domestic circumstances — [I’d]_0-i like to tell [you]_200-sally one of these days — so [I]_0-i say foolish things . [I]_0-i lose [my]_0-i head , [you]_200-sally know . [You]_200-sally do n’t . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} does n’t . It ’s a great mistake , to lose [one]_422-one ’s head . But [my]_0-i heart ’s in the right place . And [I]_0-i ’m so glad [Kit]_{129-katharine} has a big dog , for [I]_0-i did n’t think [her]_{129-katharine} looking well . ” [They]_3790-their had [their]_3790-their tea , and went over many of the points that had been raised in [the committee]_{3730-the committee} rather more intimately than had been possible then ; and [they]_3790-their all felt an agreeable sense of being in some way behind the scenes ; of having [their]_3790-their hands upon strings which , when pulled , would completely change the pageant exhibited daily to [those who read the newspapers]_{3792-those who read the newspapers} . Although [their]_3790-their views were very different , this sense united [them]_3790-their and made [them]_3790-their almost cordial in [their]_3790-their manners to each other . [Mary]_175-mary , however , left the tea - party rather early , desiring both to be alone , and then to hear some music at [[the Queen]_{3793-the queen} ’s Hall]_{3794-the queen ’s hall} . [She]_175-mary fully intended to use [her]_175-mary loneliness to think out [her]_175-mary position with regard to [Ralph]_154-ralph ; but although [she]_175-mary walked back to [the Strand]_{19-the strand} with this end in view , [she]_175-mary found [her]_175-mary mind uncomfortably full of different trains of thought . [She]_175-mary started one and then another . [They]_3790-their seemed even to take [their]_3790-their color from [the street]_{397-the street} [she]_175-mary happened to be in . Thus the vision of humanity appeared to be in some way connected with [Bloomsbury]_{60-bloomsbury} , and faded distinctly by the time [she]_175-mary crossed [the main road]_{3796-the main road} ; then a belated organ - grinder in [Holborn]_27-holborn set [her]_175-mary thoughts dancing incongruously ; and by the time [she]_175-mary was crossing [the great misty square of [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields}]_{3797-the great misty square of lincoln ’s inn fields} , [she]_175-mary was cold and depressed again , and horribly clear - sighted . The dark removed the stimulus of human companionship , and a tear actually slid down [her]_175-mary cheek , accompanying a sudden conviction within [her]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary loved [Ralph]_154-ralph , and that [he]_154-ralph did n’t love [her]_175-mary . All dark and empty now was the path where [they]_3790-their had walked that morning , and the sparrows silent in the bare trees . But the lights in [[her]_175-mary own building]_{3798-her own building} soon cheered [her]_175-mary ; all these different states of mind were submerged in the deep flood of desires , thoughts , perceptions , antagonisms , which washed perpetually at the base of [her]_175-mary being , to rise into prominence in turn when the conditions of [the upper world]_{3799-the upper world} were favorable . [She]_175-mary put off the hour of clear thought until Christmas , saying to [herself]_175-mary , as [she]_175-mary lit [her]_175-mary fire , that it is impossible to think anything out in [London]_2-london ; and , no doubt , [Ralph]_154-ralph would n’t come at Christmas , and [she]_175-mary would take long walks into [the heart of [the country]_{761-the country}]_{3800-the heart of the country} , and decide this question and all the others that puzzled [her]_175-mary . Meanwhile , [she]_175-mary thought , drawing [her]_175-mary feet up on to the fender , life was full of complexity ; life was a thing [one]_422-one must love to the last fiber of it . [She]_175-mary had sat there for five minutes or so , and [her]_175-mary thoughts had had time to grow dim , when there came a ring at [her]_175-mary bell . [Her]_175-mary eye brightened ; [she]_175-mary felt immediately convinced that [Ralph]_154-ralph had come to visit [her]_175-mary . Accordingly , [she]_175-mary waited a moment before opening the door ; [she]_175-mary wanted to feel [her]_175-mary hands secure upon the reins of all the troublesome emotions which the sight of [Ralph]_154-ralph would certainly arouse . [She]_175-mary composed [herself]_175-mary unnecessarily , however , for [she]_175-mary had to admit , not [Ralph]_154-ralph , but [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [William Rodney]_176-rodney . [Her]_175-mary first impression was that [they]_3803-they were both extremely well dressed . [She]_175-mary felt [herself]_175-mary shabby and slovenly beside [them]_3803-they , and did not know how [she]_175-mary should entertain [them]_3803-they , nor could [she]_175-mary guess why [they]_3803-they had come . [She]_175-mary had heard nothing of [their]_3803-they engagement . But after the first disappointment , [she]_175-mary was pleased , for [she]_175-mary felt instantly that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was a personality , and , moreover , [she]_175-mary need not now exercise [her]_175-mary self - control . “_[0-i] [We]_1607-we were passing and saw a light in [your]_1608-your window , so [we]_1607-we came up , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} explained , standing and looking very tall and distinguished and rather absent - minded . “_[1607-we] [We]_1607-we have been to see some pictures , ” said [William]_176-rodney . “_[1607-we] Oh , [dear]_1609-dear , ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed , looking about [him]_176-rodney , “_[1609-dear] [this room]_{3013-this room} reminds [me]_0-i of one of the worst hours in [my]_0-i existence — when [I]_0-i read a paper , and [you]_1611-you all sat round and jeered at [me]_0-i . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was the worst . [I]_0-i could feel [her]_{129-katharine} gloating over every mistake [I]_0-i made . [Miss Datchet]_175-mary was kind . [Miss Datchet]_175-mary just made it possible for [me]_0-i to get through , [I]_0-i remember . ” Sitting down , [he]_176-rodney drew off [his]_176-rodney light yellow gloves , and began slapping [his]_176-rodney knees with them . [His]_176-rodney vitality was pleasant , [Mary]_175-mary thought , although [he]_176-rodney made [her]_175-mary laugh . The very look of [him]_176-rodney was inclined to make [her]_175-mary laugh . [His]_176-rodney rather prominent eyes passed from [one young woman]_{3804-one young woman} to the other , and [his]_176-rodney lips perpetually formed words which remained unspoken . “_[175-mary] [We]_1612-we have been seeing [old masters]_{1613-old masters} at [the Grafton Gallery]_{1614-the grafton gallery} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , apparently paying no attention to [William]_176-rodney , and accepting a cigarette which [Mary]_175-mary offered [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} leant back in [her]_{129-katharine} chair , and the smoke which hung about [her]_{129-katharine} face seemed to withdraw [her]_{129-katharine} still further from the others . “_[175-mary] Would [you]_1615-you believe it , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , ” [William]_176-rodney continued , “_[175-mary] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} does n’t like [Titian]_278-titian . [She]_{129-katharine} does n’t like apricots , [she]_{129-katharine} does n’t like peaches , [she]_{129-katharine} does n’t like green peas . [She]_{129-katharine} likes the Elgin marbles , and gray days without any sun . [She]_{129-katharine} ’s a typical example of the cold northern nature . [I]_0-i come from [Devonshire]_{21-devonshire} — ” Had [they]_3805-they been quarreling , [Mary]_175-mary wondered , and had [they]_3805-they , for that reason , sought refuge in [[her]_175-mary room]_{798-her room} , or were [they]_3805-they engaged , or had [Katharine]_{129-katharine} just refused [him]_3807-him ? [She]_175-mary was completely baffled . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} now reappeared from [her]_{129-katharine} veil of smoke , knocked the ash from [her]_{129-katharine} cigarette into the fireplace , and looked , with an odd expression of solicitude , at [the irritable man]_{3808-the irritable man} . “_[175-mary] Perhaps , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said tentatively , “_[175-mary] [you]_175-mary would n’t mind giving [us]_1616-us some tea ? [We]_1616-us did try to get some , but [the shop]_{1617-the shop} was so crowded , and in the next one there was [a band]_{1618-a band} playing ; and most of the pictures , at any rate , were very dull , whatever [you]_175-mary may say , [William]_176-rodney . ” [She]_{129-katharine} spoke with a kind of guarded gentleness . [Mary]_175-mary , accordingly , retired to make preparations in [the pantry]_{3809-the pantry} . “_[176-rodney] What in [the world]_{478-the world} are [they]_1620-they after ? ” [she]_175-mary asked of [her]_175-mary own reflection in the little looking - glass which hung there . [She]_175-mary was not left to doubt much longer , for , on coming back into [the sitting - room]_{1330-the sitting - room} with the tea - things , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} informed [her]_175-mary , apparently having been instructed so to do by [William]_176-rodney , of [their]_1621-their engagement . “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , “_[176-rodney] thinks that perhaps [you]_176-rodney do n’t know . [We]_1621-their are going to be married . ” [Mary]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary shaking [William]_176-rodney ’s hand , and addressing [her]_175-mary congratulations to [him]_176-rodney , as if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} were inaccessible ; [she]_{129-katharine} had , indeed , taken hold of the tea - kettle . “_[1621-their] Let [me]_0-i see , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , “_[1621-their] one puts hot water into the cups first , does n’t one ? [You]_176-rodney have some dodge of [your]_176-rodney own , have n’t [you]_176-rodney , [William]_176-rodney , about making tea ? ” [Mary]_175-mary was half inclined to suspect that this was said in order to conceal nervousness , but if so , the concealment was unusually perfect . Talk of marriage was dismissed . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} might have been seated in [[her]_{129-katharine} own drawing - room]_{3811-her own drawing - room} , controlling a situation which presented no sort of difficulty to [her]_{129-katharine} trained mind . Rather to [her]_175-mary surprise , [Mary]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary making conversation with [William]_176-rodney about old Italian pictures , while [Katharine]_{129-katharine} poured out tea , cut cake , kept [William]_176-rodney ’s plate supplied , without joining more than was necessary in the conversation . [She]_{129-katharine} seemed to have taken possession of [[Mary]_175-mary ’s room]_{3812-mary ’s room} , and to handle the cups as if they belonged to [her]_{129-katharine} . But it was done so naturally that it bred no resentment in [Mary]_175-mary ; on the contrary , [she]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary putting [her]_175-mary hand on [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s knee , affectionately , for an instant . Was there something maternal in this assumption of control ? And thinking of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as [one who would soon be married]_{3813-one who would soon be married} , these maternal airs filled [Mary]_175-mary ’s mind with a new tenderness , and even with awe . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed very much older and more experienced than [she]_175-mary was . Meanwhile [Rodney]_176-rodney talked . If [his]_176-rodney appearance was superficially against [him]_176-rodney , it had the advantage of making [his]_176-rodney solid merits something of a surprise . [He]_176-rodney had kept notebooks ; [he]_176-rodney knew a great deal about pictures . [He]_176-rodney could compare different examples in different galleries , and [his]_176-rodney authoritative answers to intelligent questions gained not a little , [Mary]_175-mary felt , from the smart taps which [he]_176-rodney dealt , as [he]_176-rodney delivered them , upon the lumps of coal . [She]_175-mary was impressed . “_[1622-your] [Your]_1622-your tea , [William]_176-rodney , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} gently . [He]_176-rodney paused , gulped it down , obediently , and continued . And then it struck [Mary]_175-mary that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , in the shade of [her]_{129-katharine} broad - brimmed hat , and in the midst of the smoke , and in the obscurity of [her]_{129-katharine} character , was , perhaps , smiling to [herself]_{129-katharine} , not altogether in the maternal spirit . What [she]_{129-katharine} said was very simple , but [her]_{129-katharine} words , even “_[176-rodney] [Your]_1622-your tea , [William]_176-rodney , ” were set down as gently and cautiously and exactly as the feet of a Persian cat stepping among China ornaments . For the second time that day [Mary]_175-mary felt [herself]_175-mary baffled by something inscrutable in the character of [a person to whom [she]_175-mary felt [herself]_175-mary much attracted]_{3814-a person to whom she felt herself much attracted} . [She]_175-mary thought that if [she]_175-mary were engaged to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_175-mary , too , would find [herself]_175-mary very soon using those fretful questions with which [William]_176-rodney evidently teased [[his]_176-rodney bride]_{3815-his bride} . And yet [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s voice was humble . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i wonder how [you]_176-rodney find the time to know all about pictures as well as books ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[176-rodney] How do [I]_0-i find the time ? ” [William]_176-rodney answered , delighted , [Mary]_175-mary guessed , at this little compliment . “_[0-i] Why , [I]_0-i always travel with a notebook . And [I]_0-i ask [my]_0-i way to [the picture gallery]_{1623-the picture gallery} the very first thing in the morning . And then [I]_0-i meet [men]_719-men , and talk to [them]_719-men . There ’s [a man in [[my]_0-i office]_{1626-my office} who knows all about [the Flemish school]_{1627-the flemish school}]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} . [I]_0-i was telling [Miss Datchet]_175-mary about [the Flemish school]_{1627-the flemish school} . [I]_0-i picked up a lot of it from [him]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} — it ’s a way [men]_719-men have — [Gibbons]_279-gibbons , [his]_279-gibbons name is . [You]_1630-you must meet [him]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} . [We]_1631-we ’ll ask [him]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} to lunch . And this not caring about art , ” [he]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} explained , turning to [Mary]_175-mary , “_[175-mary] it ’s one of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s poses , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary . Did [you]_1630-you know [she]_{129-katharine} posed ? [She]_{129-katharine} pretends that [she]_{129-katharine} ’s never read Shakespeare . And why should [she]_{129-katharine} read [Shakespeare]_170-william , since [she]_{129-katharine} is [Shakespeare]_170-william — [Rosalind]_280-rosalind , [you]_1630-you know , ” and [he]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} gave [his]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} queer little chuckle . Somehow this compliment appeared very old - fashioned and almost in bad taste . [Mary]_175-mary actually felt [herself]_175-mary blush , as if [he]_{1625-a man in my office who knows all about the flemish school} had said “_{[129-katharine]} the sex ” or “_{[129-katharine]} [the ladies]_{1632-the ladies} . ” Constrained , perhaps , by nervousness , [Rodney]_176-rodney continued in the same vein . “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} knows enough — enough for all decent purposes . What do [[you]_1630-you women]_{1633-you women} want with learning , when [you]_1630-you have so much else — everything , [I]_0-i should say — everything . Leave [us]_1634-us something , eh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Leave [you]_0-i something ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , apparently waking from [a brown study]_{3816-a brown study} . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i was thinking [we]_1634-us must be going — ” “_{[129-katharine]} Is it to - night that [Lady Ferrilby]_{281-lady ferrilby} dines with [us]_1634-us ? No , [we]_1634-us must n’t be late , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney , rising . “_{[1635-d’you]} [D’you]_1635-d’you know [the Ferrilbys]_{282-the ferrilbys} , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary ? [They]_{282-the ferrilbys} own [Trantem Abbey]_{61-trantem abbey} , ” [he]_176-rodney added , for [her]_{129-katharine} information , as [she]_{129-katharine} looked doubtful . “_{[282-the ferrilbys]} And if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} makes [herself]_{129-katharine} very charming to - night , perhaps’ll lend it to [us]_1634-us for the honeymoon . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i agree that may be a reason . Otherwise [she]_{129-katharine} ’s [a dull woman]_{1636-a dull woman} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} At least , ” [she]_0-i added , as if to qualify [her]_0-i abruptness , “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i find it difficult to talk to [her]_{129-katharine} . ” “_[0-i] Because [you]_1637-you expect [every one else]_{1638-every one else} to take all the trouble . [I]_0-i ’ve seen [her]_{129-katharine} sit silent a whole evening , ” [he]_1637-you said , turning to [Mary]_175-mary , as [he]_1637-you had frequently done already . “_[0-i] Do n’t [you]_1637-you find that , too ? Sometimes when [we]_1634-us ’re alone , [I]_0-i ’ve counted the time on [my]_0-i watch”—here [he]_1637-you took out a large gold watch , and tapped the glass—“the_[0-i] time between one remark and the next . And once [I]_0-i counted ten minutes and twenty seconds , and then , if [you]_1637-you ’ll believe [me]_0-i , [she]_{129-katharine} only said ‘ Um ! ’ ” “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i ’m sorry , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} apologized . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i know it ’s a bad habit , but then , [you]_1637-you see , at [home]_2992-home — ” The rest of [her]_{129-katharine} excuse was cut short , so far as [Mary]_175-mary was concerned , by the closing of the door . [She]_175-mary fancied [she]_175-mary could hear [William]_176-rodney finding fresh fault on the stairs . A moment later , the door - bell rang again , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reappeared , having left [her]_{129-katharine} purse on a chair . [She]_{129-katharine} soon found it , and said , pausing for a moment at the door , and speaking differently as [they]_3817-they were alone : “_[1637-you] [I]_0-i think being engaged is very bad for [the character]_{1640-the character} . ” [She]_{129-katharine} shook [her]_{129-katharine} purse in [her]_{129-katharine} hand until the coins jingled , as if [she]_{129-katharine} alluded merely to this example of [her]_{129-katharine} forgetfulness . But the remark puzzled [Mary]_175-mary ; it seemed to refer to something else ; and [her]_175-mary manner had changed so strangely , now that [William]_176-rodney was out of hearing , that [she]_175-mary could not help looking at [her]_175-mary for an explanation . [She]_175-mary looked almost stern , so that [Mary]_175-mary , trying to smile at [her]_175-mary , only succeeded in producing a silent stare of interrogation . As the door shut for the second time , [she]_{129-katharine} sank on to the floor in front of the fire , trying , now that [their]_3817-they bodies were not there to distract [her]_{129-katharine} , to piece together [her]_{129-katharine} impressions of [them]_3817-they as a whole . And , though priding [herself]_{129-katharine} , with [all other men]_{3818-all other men} and [women]_557-women , upon an infallible eye for character , [she]_{129-katharine} could not feel at all certain that [she]_{129-katharine} knew what motives inspired [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} in life . There was something that carried [her]_{129-katharine} on smoothly , out of reach — something , yes , but what?—something that reminded [Mary]_175-mary of [Ralph]_154-ralph . Oddly enough , [he]_176-rodney gave [her]_{129-katharine} the same feeling , too , and with [him]_176-rodney , too , [she]_{129-katharine} felt baffled . Oddly enough , for [no two people]_{3820-no two people} , [she]_{129-katharine} hastily concluded , were more unlike . And yet [both]_3821-both had this hidden impulse , this incalculable force — this thing [they]_3821-both cared for and did n’t talk about — oh , what was it ? [The village of Disham]_{3822-the village of disham} lies somewhere on the rolling piece of cultivated ground in [the neighborhood of [Lincoln]_52-lincoln]_{3823-the neighborhood of lincoln} , not so far inland but that a sound , bringing rumors of [the sea]_{829-the sea} , can be heard on summer nights or when the winter storms fling the waves upon [the long beach]_{3825-the long beach} . So large is [the church]_{673-the church} , and in particular [the church tower]_{3827-the church tower} , in comparison with [the little street of cottages which compose [the village]_{1529-the village}]_{3828-the little street of cottages which compose the village} , that [the traveler]_{3830-the traveler} is apt to cast [his]_{3830-the traveler} mind back to the Middle Ages , as the only time when so much piety could have been kept alive . So great a trust in [the Church]_{673-the church} can surely not belong to [our]_3832-our day , and [he]_{3830-the traveler} goes on to conjecture that [every one of [the villagers]_{3834-the villagers}]_{3833-every one of the villagers} has reached the extreme limit of human life . Such are the reflections of [the superficial stranger]_{3835-the superficial stranger} , and [his]_{3830-the traveler} sight of [the population]_{3836-the population} , as it is represented by [two or three men hoeing in a turnip - field]_{3837-two or three men hoeing in a turnip - field} , [a small child carrying a jug]_{3838-a small child carrying a jug} , and [a young woman shaking a piece of carpet]_{3839-a young woman shaking a piece of carpet} outside [[her]_{3839-a young woman shaking a piece of carpet} cottage door]_{3840-her cottage door} , will not lead [him]_{3830-the traveler} to see anything very much out of keeping with the Middle Ages in [the village of [Disham]_56-disham]_{3822-the village of disham} as it is to - day . [These people]_{3047-these people} , though [they]_{3047-these people} seem young enough , look so angular and so crude that [they]_{3047-these people} remind [him]_{3830-the traveler} of the little pictures painted by monks in the capital letters of [their]_{3047-these people} manuscripts . [He]_{3830-the traveler} only half understands what [they]_{3047-these people} say , and speaks very loud and clearly , as though , indeed , [his]_{3830-the traveler} voice had to carry through a hundred years or more before it reached [them]_{3047-these people} . [He]_{3830-the traveler} would have a far better chance of understanding [some dweller in [Paris]_62-paris or [Rome]_63-rome , [Berlin]_64-berlin or [Madrid]_65-madrid]_{3843-some dweller in paris or rome , berlin or madrid} , than [these countrymen of [his]_{3830-the traveler} who have lived for the last two thousand years not two hundred miles from [the City of [London]_2-london]_{3845-the city of london}]_{3844-these countrymen of his who have lived for the last two thousand years not two hundred miles from the city of london} . [The Rectory]_{3846-the rectory} stands about half a mile beyond [the village]_{1529-the village} . [It]_{3846-the rectory} is [a large house]_{3848-a large house} , and has been growing steadily for some centuries round [the great kitchen]_{3849-the great kitchen} , with [its]_{3849-the great kitchen} narrow red tiles , as [the Rector]_{3850-the rector} would point out to [[his]_{3850-the rector} guests]_{3851-his guests} on the first night of [their]_{3851-his guests} arrival , taking [his]_{3850-the rector} brass candlestick , and bidding [them]_{3851-his guests} mind the steps up and the steps down , and notice the immense thickness of the walls , the old beams across the ceiling , the staircases as steep as ladders , and the attics , with [their]_{3851-his guests} deep , tent - like roofs , in which swallows bred , and once a white owl . But nothing very interesting or very beautiful had resulted from the different additions made by [the different rectors]_{3852-the different rectors} . [The house]_{377-the house} , however , was surrounded by [a garden]_{1452-a garden} , in which [the Rector]_{3850-the rector} took considerable pride . [The lawn]_{3856-the lawn} , which fronted [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} windows , was a rich and uniform green , unspotted by a single daisy , and on the other side of it [two straight paths]_{3858-two straight paths} led past beds of tall , standing flowers to [a charming grassy walk]_{3859-a charming grassy walk} , where [the Rev. Wyndham Datchet]_{283-the rev. wyndham datchet} would pace up and down at the same hour every morning , with a sundial to measure the time for [him]_{283-the rev. wyndham datchet} . As often as not , [he]_{3850-the rector} carried a book in [his]_{3850-the rector} hand , into which [he]_{3850-the rector} would glance , then shut it up , and repeat the rest of the ode from memory . [He]_{3850-the rector} had most of [Horace]_284-horace by heart , and had got into the habit of connecting this particular walk with certain odes which [he]_{3850-the rector} repeated duly , at the same time noting the condition of [his]_{3850-the rector} flowers , and stooping now and again to pick any that were withered or overblown . On wet days , such was the power of habit over [him]_{3850-the rector} , [he]_{3850-the rector} rose from [his]_{3850-the rector} chair at the same hour , and paced [his]_{3850-the rector} study for the same length of time , pausing now and then to straighten some book in the bookcase , or alter the position of the two brass crucifixes standing upon cairns of serpentine stone upon the mantelpiece . [[His]_{3850-the rector} children]_{3860-his children} had a great respect for [him]_{3850-the rector} , credited [him]_{3850-the rector} with far more learning than [he]_{3850-the rector} actually possessed , and saw that [his]_{3850-the rector} habits were not interfered with , if possible . Like most people who do things methodically , [the Rector]_{3850-the rector} [himself]_{3850-the rector} had more strength of purpose and power of self - sacrifice than of intellect or of originality . On cold and windy nights [he]_{3850-the rector} rode off to visit [sick people]_{3862-sick people} , who might need [him]_{3850-the rector} , without a murmur ; and by virtue of doing dull duties punctually , [he]_{3850-the rector} was much employed upon committees and [local Boards and Councils]_{3863-local boards and councils} ; and at this period of [his]_{3850-the rector} life ( [he]_{3850-the rector} was sixty - eight ) [he]_{3850-the rector} was beginning to be commiserated by [tender old ladies]_{3864-tender old ladies} for the extreme leanness of [his]_{3850-the rector} person , which , [they]_{3864-tender old ladies} said , was worn out upon the roads when it should have been resting before a comfortable fire . [[His]_{3850-the rector} elder daughter]_{3865-his elder daughter} , [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} , lived with [him]_{3850-the rector} and managed [the house]_{377-the house} , and already much resembled [him]_{3850-the rector} in dry sincerity and methodical habit of mind ; of [the two sons one , [Richard]_{142-sir richard warburton}]_{3867-the two sons one , richard} , was [an estate agent]_{3868-an estate agent} , [the other]_{1230-the other} , [Christopher]_{202-christopher} , was reading for [the Bar]_{3870-the bar} . At Christmas , naturally , [they]_{3867-the two sons one , richard} met together ; and for a month past the arrangement of the Christmas week had been much in the mind of [mistress]_{3871-mistress} and [maid]_3872-maid , who prided [themselves]_{3867-the two sons one , richard} every year more confidently upon the excellence of [their]_{3867-the two sons one , richard} equipment . [The late Mrs. Datchet]_{286-the late mrs. datchet} had left an excellent cupboard of linen , to which [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} had succeeded at the age of nineteen , when [[her]_{285-elizabeth} mother]_{380-her mother} died , and the charge of [the family]_{667-the family} rested upon the shoulders of [the eldest daughter]_{3875-the eldest daughter} . [She]_{286-the late mrs. datchet} kept a fine flock of yellow chickens , sketched a little , certain rose - trees in [the garden]_{3362-the garden} were committed specially to [her]_{286-the late mrs. datchet} care ; and what with the care of [the house]_{377-the house} , the care of the chickens , and the care of [the poor]_{3222-the poor} , [she]_{286-the late mrs. datchet} scarcely knew what it was to have an idle minute . An extreme rectitude of mind , rather than any gift , gave [her]_{286-the late mrs. datchet} weight in [the family]_{667-the family} . When [Mary]_175-mary wrote to say that [she]_175-mary had asked [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph to stay with [them]_{667-the family} , [she]_175-mary added , out of deference to [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} ’s character , that [he]_154-ralph was very nice , though rather queer , and had been overworking [himself]_154-ralph in [London]_2-london . No doubt [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} would conclude that [Ralph]_154-ralph was in love with [her]_{285-elizabeth} , but there could be no doubt either that not a word of this would be spoken by either of [them]_{667-the family} , unless , indeed , [some catastrophe]_{3880-some catastrophe} made mention of it unavoidable . [Mary]_175-mary went down to [Disham]_56-disham without knowing whether [Ralph]_154-ralph intended to come ; but two or three days before Christmas [she]_175-mary received a telegram from [Ralph]_154-ralph , asking [her]_175-mary to take [a room for [him]_154-ralph in [the village]_{1529-the village}]_{3881-a room for him in the village} . This was followed by a letter explaining that [he]_154-ralph hoped [he]_154-ralph might have [his]_154-ralph meals with [them]_{667-the family} ; but quiet , essential for [his]_154-ralph work , made it necessary to sleep out . [Mary]_175-mary was walking in [the garden]_{3362-the garden} with [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} , and inspecting the roses , when the letter arrived . “_[1637-you] But that ’s absurd , ” said [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} decidedly , when the plan was explained to [her]_175-mary . “_[1637-you] There are [five spare rooms]_{1641-five spare rooms} , even when [the boys]_{1642-the boys} are [here]_2985-here . Besides , [he]_1644-he would n’t get [a room in [the village]_{1529-the village}]_{1645-a room in the village} . And [he]_1644-he ought n’t to work if [he]_1644-he ’s overworked . ” “_[1644-he] But perhaps [he]_1644-he does n’t want to see so much of [us]_1647-they , ” [Mary]_175-mary thought to [herself]_175-mary , although outwardly [she]_175-mary assented , and felt grateful to [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} for supporting [her]_175-mary in what was , of course , [her]_175-mary desire . [They]_1647-they were cutting roses at the time , and laying them , head by head , in a shallow basket . “_[1644-he] If [Ralph]_154-ralph were [here]_2985-here , [he]_1644-he ’d find this very dull , ” [Mary]_175-mary thought , with a little shiver of irritation , which led [her]_175-mary to place [her]_175-mary rose the wrong way in the basket . Meanwhile , [they]_1647-they had come to the end of [the path]_{3884-the path} , and while [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} straightened some flowers , and made them stand upright within [their]_1647-they fence of string , [Mary]_175-mary looked at [[her]_175-mary father]_{406-her father} , who was pacing up and down , with [his]_{406-her father} hand behind [his]_{406-her father} back and [his]_{406-her father} head bowed in meditation . Obeying an impulse which sprang from some desire to interrupt this methodical marching , [Mary]_175-mary stepped on to the grass walk and put [her]_175-mary hand on [his]_{406-her father} arm . “_[1644-he] A flower for [your]_1649-your buttonhole , [father]_3311-father , ” [she]_175-mary said , presenting a rose . “_{[3311-father]} Eh , [dear]_1609-dear ? ” said [Mr. Datchet]_{288-mr. datchet} , taking the flower , and holding it at an angle which suited [his]_{288-mr. datchet} bad eyesight , without pausing in [his]_{288-mr. datchet} walk . “_{[3311-father]} Where does [this fellow]_{1652-this fellow} come from ? One of [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} ’s roses — [I]_0-i hope [you]_1649-your asked [her]_{285-elizabeth} leave . [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} does n’t like having [her]_{285-elizabeth} roses picked without [her]_{285-elizabeth} leave , and quite right , too . ” [He]_{406-her father} had a habit , [Mary]_175-mary remarked , and [she]_175-mary had never noticed it so clearly before , of letting [his]_{406-her father} sentences tail away in a continuous murmur , whereupon [he]_{406-her father} passed into a state of abstraction , presumed by [[his]_{406-her father} children]_{3860-his children} to indicate some train of thought too profound for utterance . “_{[285-elizabeth]} What ? ” said [Mary]_175-mary , interrupting , for the first time in [her]_175-mary life , perhaps , when the murmur ceased . [He]_{406-her father} made no reply . [She]_175-mary knew very well that [he]_{406-her father} wished to be left alone , but [she]_175-mary stuck to [his]_{406-her father} side much as [she]_175-mary might have stuck to some sleep - walker , whom [she]_175-mary thought it right gradually to awaken . [She]_175-mary could think of nothing to rouse [him]_{406-her father} with except : “_{[285-elizabeth]} [The garden]_{3362-the garden} ’s looking very nice , [father]_3311-father . ” “_{[3311-father]} Yes , yes , yes , ” said [Mr. Datchet]_{288-mr. datchet} , running [his]_{406-her father} words together in the same abstracted manner , and sinking [his]_{406-her father} head yet lower upon [his]_{406-her father} breast . And suddenly , as [they]_1657-their turned [their]_1657-their steps to retrace [their]_1657-their way , [he]_{406-her father} jerked out : “_{[3311-father]} The traffic ’s very much increased , [you]_1655-you know . More rolling - stock needed already . [Forty trucks]_{1656-forty trucks} went down yesterday by the 12.15 — counted them [myself]_0-i . [They]_{1656-forty trucks} ’ve taken off the 9.3 , and given [us]_1657-their an 8.30 instead — suits [the business men]_{1658-the business men} , [you]_1655-you know . [You]_3311-father came by the old 3.10 yesterday , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” [She]_0-i said “_{[3311-father]} Yes , ” as [he]_{406-her father} seemed to wish for a reply , and then [he]_{406-her father} looked at [his]_{406-her father} watch , and made off down [the path]_{3884-the path} towards [the house]_{377-the house} , holding the rose at the same angle in front of [him]_{406-her father} . [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} had gone round to the side of [the house]_{377-the house} , where the chickens lived , so that [Mary]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary alone , holding [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s letter in [her]_175-mary hand . [She]_175-mary was uneasy . [She]_175-mary had put off the season for thinking things out very successfully , and now that [Ralph]_154-ralph was actually coming , the next day , [she]_175-mary could only wonder how [[her]_175-mary family]_{463-her family} would impress [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary thought it likely that [[her]_175-mary father]_{406-her father} would discuss the train service with [him]_154-ralph ; [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} would be bright and sensible , and always leaving [the room]_{379-the room} to give messages to [the servants]_{3323-the servants} . [[Her]_175-mary brothers]_{3894-her brothers} had already said that [they]_{3894-her brothers} would give [him]_154-ralph a day ’s shooting . [She]_175-mary was content to leave the problem of [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s relations to [the young men]_{3895-the young men} obscure , trusting that [they]_{3895-the young men} would find some common ground of masculine agreement . But what would [he]_154-ralph think of [her]_175-mary ? Would [he]_154-ralph see that [she]_175-mary was different from [the rest of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{3672-the rest of the family} ? [She]_175-mary devised a plan for taking [him]_154-ralph to [[her]_175-mary sitting - room]_{3898-her sitting - room} , and artfully leading the talk towards [the English poets , who now occupied prominent places in [her]_175-mary little bookcase]_{3899-the english poets , who now occupied prominent places in her little bookcase} . Moreover , [she]_175-mary might give [him]_154-ralph to understand , privately , that [she]_175-mary , too , thought [[her]_175-mary family]_{463-her family} a queer one — queer , yes , but not dull . That was the rock past which [she]_175-mary was bent on steering [him]_154-ralph . And [she]_175-mary thought how [she]_175-mary would draw [his]_154-ralph attention to [Edward]_289-edward ’s passion for [Jorrocks]_290-jorrocks , and the enthusiasm which led [Christopher]_{202-christopher} to collect moths and butterflies though [he]_154-ralph was now twenty - two . Perhaps [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} ’s sketching , if the fruits were invisible , might lend color to the general effect which [she]_175-mary wished to produce of [a family , eccentric and limited , perhaps , but not dull]_{3901-a family , eccentric and limited , perhaps , but not dull} . [Edward]_289-edward , [she]_175-mary perceived , was rolling [the lawn]_{3856-the lawn} , for the sake of exercise ; and the sight of [him]_289-edward , with pink cheeks , bright little brown eyes , and a general resemblance to a clumsy young cart - horse in its winter coat of dusty brown hair , made [Mary]_175-mary violently ashamed of [her]_175-mary ambitious scheming . [She]_175-mary loved [him]_154-ralph precisely as [he]_154-ralph was ; [she]_175-mary loved [them]_3903-them all ; and as [she]_175-mary walked by [his]_154-ralph side , up and down , and down and up , [her]_175-mary strong moral sense administered a sound drubbing to the vain and romantic element aroused in [her]_175-mary by the mere thought of [Ralph]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary felt quite certain that , for good or for bad , [she]_175-mary was very like [the rest of [[her]_175-mary family]_{463-her family}]_{3904-the rest of her family} . Sitting in the corner of [a third - class railway carriage]_{3906-a third - class railway carriage} , on the afternoon of the following day , [Ralph]_154-ralph made several inquiries of [a commercial traveler]_{3907-a commercial traveler} in the opposite corner . [They]_3908-they centered round [a village called [Lampsher]_66-lampsher]_{3909-a village called lampsher} , not three miles , [he]_154-ralph understood , from [Lincoln]_52-lincoln ; was there [a big house in [Lampsher]_66-lampsher]_{3910-a big house in lampsher} , [he]_154-ralph asked , inhabited by [a gentleman of the name of [Otway]_{291-lady otway}]_{3911-a gentleman of the name of otway} ? [The traveler]_{3830-the traveler} knew nothing , but rolled the name of [Otway]_{291-lady otway} on [his]_{3830-the traveler} tongue , reflectively , and the sound of it gratified [Ralph]_154-ralph amazingly . It gave [him]_154-ralph an excuse to take a letter from [his]_154-ralph pocket in order to verify the address . “_{[3311-father]} [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} , [Lampsher]_66-lampsher , [Lincoln]_52-lincoln , ” [he]_154-ralph read out . “_[1659-you] [You]_1659-you ’ll find [somebody]_896-somebody to direct [you]_1659-you at [Lincoln]_52-lincoln , ” said [the man]_{3095-the man} ; and [Ralph]_154-ralph had to confess that [he]_154-ralph was not bound [there]_2927-there this very evening . “_{[896-somebody]} [I]_0-i ’ve got to walk over from [Disham]_56-disham , ” [he]_154-ralph said , and in the heart of [him]_154-ralph could not help marveling at the pleasure which [he]_154-ralph derived from making [a bagman]_{3915-a bagman} in [a train]_{3916-a train} believe what [he]_154-ralph [himself]_154-ralph did not believe . For the letter , though signed by [[Katharine]_{202-christopher} ’s father]_{3917-katharine ’s father} , contained no invitation or warrant for thinking that [Katharine]_{202-christopher} [herself]_{202-christopher} was [there]_2927-there ; the only fact it disclosed was that for a fortnight this address would be [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s address . But when [he]_154-ralph looked out of the window , it was of [her]_{202-christopher} [he]_154-ralph thought ; [she]_{202-christopher} , too , had seen [these gray fields]_{3919-these gray fields} , and , perhaps , [she]_{202-christopher} was there where the trees ran up a slope , and one yellow light shone now , and then went out again , at [the foot of [the hill]_{3921-the hill}]_{3920-the foot of the hill} . The light shone in the windows of [an old gray house]_{3922-an old gray house} , [he]_154-ralph thought . [He]_154-ralph lay back in [his]_154-ralph corner and forgot [the commercial traveler]_{3923-the commercial traveler} altogether . The process of visualizing [Katharine]_{202-christopher} stopped short at [the old gray manor - house]_{3924-the old gray manor - house} ; instinct warned [him]_154-ralph that if [he]_154-ralph went much further with this process reality would soon force itself in ; [he]_154-ralph could not altogether neglect the figure of [William Rodney]_176-rodney . Since the day when [he]_154-ralph had heard from [Katharine]_{202-christopher} ’s lips of [her]_{202-christopher} engagement , [he]_154-ralph had refrained from investing [his]_154-ralph dream of [her]_{202-christopher} with the details of real life . But the light of the late afternoon glowed green behind the straight trees , and became a symbol of [her]_{202-christopher} . The light seemed to expand [his]_154-ralph heart . [She]_{202-christopher} brooded over [the gray fields]_{3925-the gray fields} , and was with [him]_154-ralph now in [the railway carriage]_{3926-the railway carriage} , thoughtful , silent , and infinitely tender ; but the vision pressed too close , and must be dismissed , for [the train]_{510-the train} was slackening . Its abrupt jerks shook [him]_154-ralph wide awake , and [he]_154-ralph saw [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , a sturdy russet figure , with a dash of scarlet about it , as [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} slid down [the platform]_{3929-the platform} . [A tall youth who accompanied [her]_{202-christopher}]_{3930-a tall youth who accompanied her} shook [him]_154-ralph by the hand , took [his]_154-ralph bag , and led the way without uttering one articulate word . Never are voices so beautiful as on a winter ’s evening , when dusk almost hides the body , and [they]_{3925-the gray fields} seem to issue from nothingness with a note of intimacy seldom heard by day . Such an edge was there in [Mary]_175-mary ’s voice when [she]_175-mary greeted [him]_154-ralph . About [her]_175-mary seemed to hang the mist of the winter hedges , and the clear red of the bramble leaves . [He]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph at once stepping on to the firm ground of [an entirely different world]_{3931-an entirely different world} , but [he]_154-ralph did not allow [himself]_154-ralph to yield to the pleasure of it directly . [They]_3932-they gave [him]_154-ralph [his]_154-ralph choice of driving with [Edward]_289-edward or of walking [home]_2992-home across [the fields]_{3725-the fields} with [Mary]_175-mary — not a shorter way , [they]_3932-they explained , but [Mary]_175-mary thought it a nicer way . [He]_154-ralph decided to walk with [her]_175-mary , being conscious , indeed , that [he]_154-ralph got comfort from [her]_175-mary presence . What could be the cause of [her]_175-mary cheerfulness , [he]_154-ralph wondered , half ironically , and half enviously , as [the pony - cart]_{3935-the pony - cart} started briskly away , and the dusk swam between [their]_3932-they eyes and the tall form of [Edward]_289-edward , standing up to drive , with the reins in one hand and the whip in the other . [People from [the village]_{1529-the village} , who had been to [the market town]_{3938-the market town}]_{3936-people from the village , who had been to the market town} , were climbing into [their]_{3936-people from the village , who had been to the market town} gigs , or setting off [home]_2992-home down [the road]_{941-the road} together in little parties . Many salutations were addressed to [Mary]_175-mary , who shouted back , with the addition of [the speaker]_{856-the speaker} ’s name . But soon [she]_175-mary led the way over a stile , and along a path worn slightly darker than the dim green surrounding [it]_3942-it . In front of [them]_3932-they the sky now showed itself of a reddish - yellow , like a slice of some semilucent stone behind which a lamp burnt , while a fringe of black trees with distinct branches stood against the light , which was obscured in one direction by a hump of earth , in all other directions [the land]_{3943-the land} lying flat to the very verge of the sky . One of the swift and noiseless birds of the winter ’s night seemed to follow [them]_3932-they across [the field]_{1514-the field} , circling a few feet in front of [them]_3932-they , disappearing and returning again and again . [Mary]_175-mary had gone this walk many hundred times in the course of [her]_175-mary life , generally alone , and at different stages the ghosts of past moods would flood [her]_175-mary mind with a whole scene or train of thought merely at the sight of three trees from a particular angle , or at the sound of the pheasant clucking in the ditch . But to - night the circumstances were strong enough to oust all other scenes ; and [she]_175-mary looked at [the field]_{1514-the field} and the trees with an involuntary intensity as if [they]_3932-they had no such associations for [her]_175-mary . “_[0-i] Well , [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_175-mary said , “_[154-ralph] this is better than [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} , is n’t it ? Look , there ’s a bird for [you]_154-ralph ! Oh , [you]_154-ralph ’ve brought glasses , have [you]_154-ralph ? [Edward]_289-edward and [Christopher]_{202-christopher} mean to make [you]_154-ralph shoot . Can [you]_154-ralph shoot ? [I]_0-i should n’t think so — ” “_[0-i] Look here , [you]_0-i must explain , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] Who are [these young men]_{1661-these young men} ? Where am [I]_0-i staying ? ” “_[154-ralph] [You]_154-ralph are staying with [us]_1662-us , of course , ” [she]_0-i said boldly . “_[154-ralph] Of course , [you]_154-ralph ’re staying with [us]_1662-us — [you]_154-ralph do n’t mind coming , do [you]_154-ralph ? ” “_[154-ralph] If [I]_0-i had , [I]_0-i should n’t have come , ” [he]_154-ralph said sturdily . [They]_1662-us walked on in silence ; [Mary]_175-mary took care not to break it for a time . [She]_175-mary wished [Ralph]_154-ralph to feel , as [she]_175-mary thought [he]_154-ralph would , all the fresh delights of [the earth]_{2936-the earth} and air . [She]_175-mary was right . In a moment [he]_154-ralph expressed [his]_154-ralph pleasure , much to [her]_175-mary comfort . “_[0-i] This is [the sort of country [I]_0-i thought [you]_1664-you ’d live in]_{1663-the sort of country i thought you ’d live in} , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph said , pushing [his]_154-ralph hat back on [his]_154-ralph head , and looking about [him]_154-ralph . “_[175-mary] [Real country]_{1665-real country} . [No gentlemen]_{1666-no gentlemen} ’s seats . ” [He]_154-ralph snuffed the air , and felt more keenly than [he]_154-ralph had done for many weeks the pleasure of owning a body . “_{[1666-no gentlemen]} Now [we]_1667-we have to find [our]_1667-we way through a hedge , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . In the gap of the hedge [Ralph]_154-ralph tore up a poacher ’s wire , set across a hole to trap a rabbit . “_{[1666-no gentlemen]} It ’s quite right that [they]_1668-they should poach , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , watching [him]_154-ralph tugging at the wire . “_[1668-they] [I]_0-i wonder whether it was [Alfred Duggins]_292-alfred or [Sid Rankin]_{293-sid rankin} ? How can [one]_422-one expect [them]_1668-they not to , when [they]_1668-they only make fifteen shillings a week ? Fifteen shillings a week , ” [she]_0-i repeated , coming out on the other side of the hedge , and running [her]_0-i fingers through [her]_0-i hair to rid [herself]_0-i of a bramble which had attached itself to [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i could live on fifteen shillings a week — easily . ” “_[0-i] Could [you]_0-i ? ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t believe [you]_0-i could , ” [he]_154-ralph added . “_[0-i] Oh yes . [They]_1668-they have [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} thrown in , and [a garden]_{1452-a garden} where [one]_422-one can grow vegetables . It would n’t be half bad , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , with a soberness which impressed [Ralph]_154-ralph very much . “_[0-i] But [you]_0-i ’d get tired of it , ” [he]_154-ralph urged . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i sometimes think it ’s the only thing [one]_422-one would never get tired of , ” [she]_0-i replied . The idea of [a cottage where [one]_422-one grew [one]_422-one ’s own vegetables and lived on fifteen shillings a week]_{3947-a cottage where one grew one ’s own vegetables and lived on fifteen shillings a week} , filled [Ralph]_154-ralph with an extraordinary sense of rest and satisfaction . “_[0-i] But would n’t [it]_1673-it be on [the main road]_{3796-the main road} , or next door to [a woman with [six squalling children]_{1676-six squalling children} , who ’d always be hanging [her]_{1675-a woman with six squalling children , who ’d always be hanging her washing out to dry across your garden} washing out to dry across [[your]_1677-your garden]_{1678-your garden}]_{1675-a woman with six squalling children , who ’d always be hanging her washing out to dry across your garden} ? ” “_{[294-the suffrage]} [The cottage [I]_0-i ’m thinking of]_{1679-the cottage i ’m thinking of} stands by [itself]_{1679-the cottage i ’m thinking of} in [a little orchard]_{1680-a little orchard} . ” “_{[294-the suffrage]} And what about [the Suffrage]_{294-the suffrage} ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked , attempting sarcasm . “_{[294-the suffrage]} Oh , there are other things in [the world]_{478-the world} besides the Suffrage , ” [she]_0-i replied , in an off - hand manner which was slightly mysterious . [Ralph]_154-ralph fell silent . It annoyed [him]_154-ralph that [she]_0-i should have plans of which [he]_154-ralph knew nothing ; but [he]_154-ralph felt that [he]_154-ralph had no right to press [her]_0-i further . [His]_154-ralph mind settled upon the idea of life in [a country cottage]_{3950-a country cottage} . Conceivably , for [he]_154-ralph could not examine into it now , here lay a tremendous possibility ; a solution of many problems . [He]_154-ralph struck [his]_154-ralph stick upon [the earth]_{2936-the earth} , and stared through the dusk at the shape of [the country]_{761-the country} . “_{[294-the suffrage]} D’you know the points of the compass ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . “_{[294-the suffrage]} Well , of course , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_{[294-the suffrage]} What d’you take [me]_0-i for?—a Cockney like [you]_0-i ? ” [She]_0-i then told [him]_154-ralph exactly where [the north]_{3953-the north} lay , and where [the south]_{3954-the south} . “_[0-i] It ’s [[my]_0-i native land]_{1682-my native land} , this , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i could smell [my]_0-i way about it blindfold . ” As if to prove this boast , [she]_0-i walked a little quicker , so that [Ralph]_154-ralph found it difficult to keep pace with [her]_0-i . At the same time , [he]_154-ralph felt drawn to [her]_0-i as [he]_154-ralph had never been before ; partly , no doubt , because [she]_0-i was more independent of [him]_154-ralph than in [London]_2-london , and seemed to be attached firmly to [a world where [he]_154-ralph had no place at all]_{3955-a world where he had no place at all} . Now the dusk had fallen to such an extent that [he]_154-ralph had to follow [her]_0-i implicitly , and even lean [his]_154-ralph hand on [her]_0-i shoulder when [they]_3956-they jumped a bank into [a very narrow lane]_{3957-a very narrow lane} . And [he]_154-ralph felt curiously shy of [her]_0-i when [she]_0-i began to shout through [her]_0-i hands at a spot of light which swung upon the mist in [a neighboring field]_{3958-a neighboring field} . [He]_154-ralph shouted , too , and the light stood still . “_[0-i] That ’s [Christopher]_{202-christopher} , come in already , and gone to feed [his]_1683-his chickens , ” [she]_0-i said . [She]_0-i introduced [him]_154-ralph to [Ralph]_154-ralph , who could see only [a tall figure in gaiters , rising from a fluttering circle of soft feathery bodies , upon whom the light fell in wavering discs]_{3959-a tall figure in gaiters , rising from a fluttering circle of soft feathery bodies , upon whom the light fell in wavering discs} , calling out now a bright spot of yellow , now one of greenish - black and scarlet . [Mary]_175-mary dipped [her]_175-mary hand in the bucket [he]_154-ralph carried , and was at once the center of a circle also ; and as [she]_175-mary cast [her]_175-mary grain [she]_175-mary talked alternately to the birds and to [[her]_175-mary brother]_{581-her brother} , in the same clucking , half - inarticulate voice , as it sounded to [Ralph]_154-ralph , standing on the outskirts of the fluttering feathers in [his]_154-ralph black overcoat . [He]_154-ralph had removed [his]_154-ralph overcoat by the time [they]_3961-them sat round the dinner - table , but nevertheless [he]_154-ralph looked very strange among [the others]_{1091-the others} . A country life and breeding had preserved in [them]_3961-them all a look which [Mary]_175-mary hesitated to call either innocent or youthful , as [she]_175-mary compared [them]_3961-them , now sitting round in an oval , softly illuminated by candlelight ; and yet it was something of the kind , yes , even in the case of [the Rector]_{3850-the rector} [himself]_{3850-the rector} . Though superficially marked with lines , [his]_154-ralph face was a clear pink , and [his]_154-ralph blue eyes had the long - sighted , peaceful expression of eyes seeking the turn of [the road]_{941-the road} , or a distant light through rain , or the darkness of winter . [She]_175-mary looked at [Ralph]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph had never appeared to [her]_175-mary more concentrated and full of purpose ; as if behind [his]_154-ralph forehead were massed so much experience that [he]_154-ralph could choose for [himself]_154-ralph which part of it [he]_154-ralph would display and which part [he]_154-ralph would keep to [himself]_154-ralph . Compared with that dark and stern countenance , [[her]_175-mary brothers]_{3894-her brothers} ’ faces , bending low over [their]_{3894-her brothers} soup - plates , were mere circles of pink , unmolded flesh . “_{[202-christopher]} [You]_1684-you came by the 3.10 , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ” said [the Reverend Wyndham Datchet]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} , tucking [his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} napkin into [his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} collar , so that almost the whole of [his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} body was concealed by a large white diamond . “_[131-denham] [They]_1685-they treat [us]_1686-us very well , on the whole . Considering the increase of traffic , [they]_1685-they treat [us]_1686-us very well indeed . [I]_0-i have the curiosity sometimes to count [the trucks]_{1687-the trucks} on [the goods ’ trains]_{1688-the goods ’ trains} , and [they]_{1687-the trucks} ’re well over fifty — well over fifty , at this season of the year . ” [The old gentleman]_{3966-the old gentleman} had been roused agreeably by the presence of [this attentive and well - informed young man]_{3967-this attentive and well - informed young man} , as was evident by the care with which [he]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} finished the last words in [his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} sentences , and [his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} slight exaggeration in the number of [trucks on the trains]_{3968-trucks on the trains} . Indeed , the chief burden of the talk fell upon [him]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} , and [he]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} sustained it to - night in a manner which caused [[his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} sons]_{3969-his sons} to look at [him]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} admiringly now and then ; for [they]_{3969-his sons} felt shy of [Denham]_131-denham , and were glad not to have to talk [themselves]_{3969-his sons} . The store of information about the present and past of [this particular corner of [Lincolnshire]_{68-lincolnshire}]_{3970-this particular corner of lincolnshire} which [old Mr. Datchet]_{288-mr. datchet} produced really surprised [[his]_{295-the reverend wyndham datchet} children]_{3860-his children} , for though [they]_{3969-his sons} knew of [its]_{3970-this particular corner of lincolnshire} existence , [they]_{3969-his sons} had forgotten its extent , as [they]_{3969-his sons} might have forgotten the amount of family plate stored in the plate - chest , until some rare celebration brought it forth . After dinner , [parish]_3972-parish business took [the Rector]_{3850-the rector} to [[his]_{3850-the rector} study]_{3974-his study} , and [Mary]_175-mary proposed that [they]_{3969-his sons} should sit in [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} . “_{[1687-the trucks]} It ’s not [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} really , ” [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} hastened to explain to [[her]_{285-elizabeth} guest]_{3976-her guest} , “_{[1687-the trucks]} but [we]_1690-we call it so — ” “_[1690-we] It ’s [the nicest room in [the house]_{377-the house}]_{1691-the nicest room in the house} , ” said [Edward]_289-edward . “_[1690-we] It ’s got the old rests by the side of the fireplace , where [the men]_{1189-the men} hung [their]_{1189-the men} guns , ” said [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} , leading the way , with a tall brass candlestick in [her]_{285-elizabeth} hand , down [a passage]_{3977-a passage} . “_{[202-christopher]} Show [Mr. Denham]_131-denham [the steps]_{1694-the steps} , [Christopher]_{202-christopher} .... When [the Ecclesiastical Commissioners]_{1695-the ecclesiastical commissioners} were [here]_2985-here two years ago [they]_{1695-the ecclesiastical commissioners} said this was the most interesting part of [the house]_{377-the house} . These narrow bricks prove that it is five hundred years old — five hundred years , [I]_0-i think — [they]_{1695-the ecclesiastical commissioners} may have said six . ” [She]_{285-elizabeth} , too , felt an impulse to exaggerate the age of the bricks , as [[her]_{285-elizabeth} father]_{406-her father} had exaggerated the number of [trucks]_3979-trucks . A big lamp hung down from the center of the ceiling and , together with a fine log fire , illuminated [a large and lofty room]_{3980-a large and lofty room} , with rafters running from wall to wall , a floor of red tiles , and a substantial fireplace built up of those narrow red bricks which were said to be five hundred years old . A few rugs and a sprinkling of arm - chairs had made [this ancient kitchen]_{3981-this ancient kitchen} into [a sitting - room]_{3982-a sitting - room} . [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} , after pointing out the gun - racks , and the hooks for smoking hams , and other evidence of incontestable age , and explaining that [Mary]_175-mary had had the idea of turning [the room]_{379-the room} into [a sitting - room]_{3982-a sitting - room} — otherwise [it]_{379-the room} was used for hanging out the wash and for [the men]_{1189-the men} to change in after shooting — considered that [she]_{285-elizabeth} had done [her]_{285-elizabeth} duty as [hostess]_464-hostess , and sat down in an upright chair directly beneath the lamp , beside a very long and narrow oak table . [She]_{285-elizabeth} placed a pair of horn spectacles upon [her]_{285-elizabeth} nose , and drew towards [her]_{285-elizabeth} a basketful of threads and wools . In a few minutes a smile came to [her]_{285-elizabeth} face , and remained there for the rest of the evening . “_{[1695-the ecclesiastical commissioners]} Will [you]_1698-you come out shooting with [us]_1699-us to - morrow ? ” said [Christopher]_{202-christopher} , who had , on the whole , formed a favorable impression of [[[his]_1698-you sister]_{578-his sister} ’s friend]_{3988-his sister ’s friend} . “_[1698-you] [I]_0-i wo n’t shoot , but [I]_0-i ’ll come with [you]_1698-you , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] Do n’t [you]_1698-you care about shooting ? ” asked [Edward]_289-edward , whose suspicions were not yet laid to rest . “_[1698-you] [I]_0-i ’ve never shot in [my]_0-i life , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , turning and looking [him]_154-ralph in the face , because [he]_154-ralph was not sure how this confession would be received . “_[0-i] [You]_1698-you would n’t have much chance in [London]_2-london , [I]_0-i suppose , ” said [Christopher]_{202-christopher} . “_[1698-you] But wo n’t [you]_1698-you find it rather dull — just watching [us]_1700-their ? ” “_[1698-you] [I]_0-i shall watch birds , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied , with a smile . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i can show [you]_1698-you the place for watching birds , ” said [Edward]_289-edward , “_[0-i] if that ’s what [you]_1698-you like doing . [I]_0-i know [a fellow who comes down from [London]_2-london about this time every year to watch [them]_1702-them]_{1701-a fellow who comes down from london about this time every year to watch them} . [It]_1703-it ’s [a great place for the wild geese]_{1704-a great place for the wild geese} and the ducks . [I]_0-i ’ve heard [this man]_{1705-this man} say that it ’s [one of the best places for birds in [the country]_{761-the country}]_{1706-one of the best places for birds in the country} . ” “_{[1705-this man]} It ’s about [the best place in [England]_5-england]_{1708-the best place in england} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied . [They]_1700-their were all gratified by this praise of [[their]_1700-their native county]_{3989-their native county} ; and [Mary]_175-mary now had the pleasure of hearing these short questions and answers lose [their]_1700-their undertone of suspicious inspection , so far as [[her]_175-mary brothers]_{3894-her brothers} were concerned , and develop into a genuine conversation about the habits of birds which afterwards turned to a discussion as to the habits of [solicitors]_{3991-solicitors} , in which it was scarcely necessary for [her]_175-mary to take part . [She]_175-mary was pleased to see that [[her]_175-mary brothers]_{3894-her brothers} liked [Ralph]_154-ralph , to the extent , that is , of wishing to secure [his]_154-ralph good opinion . Whether or not [he]_154-ralph liked [them]_{3894-her brothers} it was impossible to tell from [his]_154-ralph kind but experienced manner . Now and then [she]_175-mary fed the fire with a fresh log , and as [the room]_{379-the room} filled with the fine , dry heat of burning wood , [they]_{3894-her brothers} all , with the exception of [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} , who was outside the range of the fire , felt less and less anxious about the effect [they]_{3894-her brothers} were making , and more and more inclined for sleep . At this moment a vehement scratching was heard on the door . “_{[1705-this man]} [Piper!—oh]_{296-piper!—oh} , [damn!—I]_{1709-damn!—i} shall have to get up , ” murmured [Christopher]_{202-christopher} . “_{[1709-damn!—i]} It ’s not [Piper]_297-piper , it ’s [Pitch]_298-pitch , ” [Edward]_289-edward grunted . “_[298-pitch] All the same , [I]_0-i shall have to get up , ” [Christopher]_{202-christopher} grumbled . [He]_154-ralph let in the dog , and stood for a moment by the door , which opened into [the garden]_{3362-the garden} , to revive [himself]_154-ralph with a draught of the black , starlit air . “_[0-i] Do come in and shut the door ! ” [Mary]_175-mary cried , half turning in [her]_175-mary chair . “_[0-i] [We]_1710-we shall have a fine day to - morrow , ” said [Christopher]_{202-christopher} with complacency , and [he]_154-ralph sat [himself]_154-ralph on the floor at [her]_175-mary feet , and leant [his]_154-ralph back against [her]_175-mary knees , and stretched out [his]_154-ralph long stockinged legs to the fire — all signs that [he]_154-ralph felt no longer any restraint at the presence of [the stranger]_{3995-the stranger} . [He]_154-ralph was [the youngest of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{3996-the youngest of the family} , and [[Mary]_175-mary ’s favorite]_{3998-mary ’s favorite} , partly because [his]_154-ralph character resembled [hers]_175-mary , as [Edward]_289-edward ’s character resembled [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} ’s . [She]_175-mary made [her]_175-mary knees a comfortable rest for [his]_154-ralph head , and ran [her]_175-mary fingers through [his]_154-ralph hair . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should like [Mary]_175-mary to stroke [my]_0-i head like that , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph thought to [himself]_0-i suddenly , and [he]_154-ralph looked at [Christopher]_{202-christopher} , almost affectionately , for calling forth [[his]_154-ralph sister]_{578-his sister} ’s caresses . Instantly [he]_154-ralph thought of [Katharine]_{202-christopher} , the thought of [her]_{202-christopher} being surrounded by the spaces of night and the open air ; and [Mary]_175-mary , watching [him]_154-ralph , saw the lines upon [his]_154-ralph forehead suddenly deepen . [He]_154-ralph stretched out an arm and placed a log upon the fire , constraining [himself]_154-ralph to fit it carefully into the frail red scaffolding , and also to limit [his]_154-ralph thoughts to [this one room]_{4000-this one room} . [Mary]_175-mary had ceased to stroke [[her]_175-mary brother]_{581-her brother} ’s head ; [he]_154-ralph moved it impatiently between [her]_175-mary knees , and , much as though [he]_154-ralph were [a child]_{541-a child} , [she]_175-mary began once more to part the thick , reddish - colored locks this way and that . But a far stronger passion had taken possession of [her]_175-mary soul than any [[her]_175-mary brother]_{581-her brother} could inspire in [her]_175-mary , and , seeing [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s change of expression , [her]_175-mary hand almost automatically continued its movements , while [her]_175-mary mind plunged desperately for some hold upon slippery banks . Into that same black night , almost , indeed , into the very same layer of starlit air , [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} was now gazing , although not with a view to the prospects of a fine day for duck shooting on the morrow . [She]_{129-katharine} was walking up and down [a gravel path in [the garden of [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house}]_{4005-the garden of stogdon house}]_{4004-a gravel path in the garden of stogdon house} , [her]_{129-katharine} sight of the heavens being partially intercepted by the light leafless hoops of a pergola . Thus a spray of clematis would completely obscure [Cassiopeia]_{299-cassiopeia} , or blot out with its black pattern myriads of miles of [the Milky Way]_{69-the milky way} . At the end of [the pergola]_{4006-the pergola} , however , there was a stone seat , from which the sky could be seen completely swept clear of any earthly interruption , save to the right , indeed , where a line of elm - trees was beautifully sprinkled with stars , and [a low stable building]_{4007-a low stable building} had a full drop of quivering silver just issuing from the mouth of the chimney . It was a moonless night , but the light of the stars was sufficient to show the outline of [the young woman]_{1248-the young woman} ’s form , and the shape of [her]_{129-katharine} face gazing gravely , indeed almost sternly , into the sky . [She]_{129-katharine} had come out into the winter ’s night , which was mild enough , not so much to look with scientific eyes upon the stars , as to shake [herself]_{129-katharine} free from certain purely terrestrial discontents . Much as [a literary person in like circumstances]_{4009-a literary person in like circumstances} would begin , absent - mindedly , pulling out volume after volume , so [she]_{129-katharine} stepped into [the garden]_{3362-the garden} in order to have the stars at hand , even though [she]_{129-katharine} did not look at them . Not to be happy , when [she]_{129-katharine} was supposed to be happier than [she]_{129-katharine} would ever be again — that , as far as [she]_{129-katharine} could see , was the origin of a discontent which had begun almost as soon as [she]_{129-katharine} arrived , two days before , and seemed now so intolerable that [she]_{129-katharine} had left [the family party]_{4011-the family party} , and come out here to consider it by [herself]_{129-katharine} . It was not [she]_{129-katharine} who thought [herself]_{129-katharine} unhappy , but [[her]_{129-katharine} cousins]_{4012-her cousins} , who thought it for [her]_{129-katharine} . [The house]_{377-the house} was full of [cousins]_708-cousins , much of [her]_{129-katharine} age , or even younger , and among [them]_708-cousins [they]_708-cousins had some terribly bright eyes . [They]_708-cousins seemed always on the search for something between [her]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney , which [they]_708-cousins expected to find , and yet did not find ; and when [they]_708-cousins searched , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} became aware of wanting what [she]_{129-katharine} had not been conscious of wanting in [London]_2-london , alone with [William]_176-rodney and [[her]_{129-katharine} parents]_{424-her parents} . Or , if [she]_{129-katharine} did not want it , [she]_{129-katharine} missed it . And this state of mind depressed [her]_{129-katharine} , because [she]_{129-katharine} had been accustomed always to give complete satisfaction , and [her]_{129-katharine} self - love was now a little ruffled . [She]_{129-katharine} would have liked to break through the reserve habitual to [her]_{129-katharine} in order to justify [her]_{129-katharine} engagement to [some one whose opinion [she]_{129-katharine} valued]_{4016-some one whose opinion she valued} . [No one]_{2921-no one} had spoken a word of criticism , but [they]_708-cousins left [her]_{129-katharine} alone with [William]_176-rodney ; not that that would have mattered , if [they]_708-cousins had not left [her]_{129-katharine} alone so politely ; and , perhaps , that would not have mattered if [they]_708-cousins had not seemed so queerly silent , almost respectful , in [her]_{129-katharine} presence , which gave way to criticism , [she]_{129-katharine} felt , out of it . Looking now and then at the sky , [she]_{129-katharine} went through the list of [[her]_{129-katharine} cousins]_{4012-her cousins} ’ names : [Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} , [Humphrey]_300-humphrey , [Marmaduke]_{301-marmaduke} , [Silvia]_302-silvia , [Henry]_216-henry , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , [Gilbert]_163-gilbert , and [Mostyn]_304-mostyn — [Henry]_216-henry , [the cousin who taught [the young ladies of [Bungay]_33-bungay]_{3389-the young ladies of bungay} to play upon the violin]_{4019-the cousin who taught the young ladies of bungay to play upon the violin} , was [the only one in whom [she]_0-i could confide]_{4021-the only one in whom she could confide} , and as [she]_0-i walked up and down beneath the hoops of the pergola , [she]_0-i did begin a little speech to [him]_216-henry , which ran something like this : “_[175-mary] To begin with , [I]_0-i ’m very fond of [William]_176-rodney . [You]_1711-you ca n’t deny that . [I]_0-i know [him]_176-rodney better than [any one]_{2939-any one} , almost . But why [I]_0-i ’m marrying [him]_176-rodney is , partly , [I]_0-i admit — [I’m]_0-i being quite honest with [you]_1711-you , and [you]_1711-you must n’t tell [any one]_{2939-any one} — partly because [I]_0-i want to get married . [I]_0-i want to have [a house of [my]_0-i own]_{1714-a house of my own} . It is n’t possible at [home]_2992-home . It ’s all very well for [you]_1711-you , [Henry]_216-henry ; [you]_1711-you can go [your]_1711-you own way . [I]_0-i have to be [there]_2927-there always . Besides , [you]_1711-you know what [[our]_1717-our house]_{3543-our house} is . [You]_1711-you would n’t be happy either , if [you]_1711-you did n’t do something . It is n’t that [I]_0-i have n’t the time at [home]_2992-home — it ’s the atmosphere . ” Here , presumably , [she]_0-i imagined that [[her]_0-i cousin]_{4022-her cousin} , who had listened with [his]_{4022-her cousin} usual intelligent sympathy , raised [his]_{4022-her cousin} eyebrows a little , and interposed : “_[0-i] Well , but what do [you]_1711-you want to do ? ” Even in this purely imaginary dialogue , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found it difficult to confide [her]_0-i ambition to [an imaginary companion]_{4023-an imaginary companion} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should like , ” [she]_0-i began , and hesitated quite a long time before [she]_0-i forced [herself]_0-i to add , with a change of voice , “_[0-i] to study mathematics — to know about the stars . ” [Henry]_216-henry was clearly amazed , but too kind to express all [his]_216-henry doubts ; [he]_216-henry only said something about the difficulties of mathematics , and remarked that very little was known about the stars . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thereupon went on with the statement of [her]_0-i case . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t care much whether [I]_0-i ever get to know anything — but [I]_0-i want to work out something in figures — something that has n’t got to do with [human beings]_{923-human beings} . [I]_0-i do n’t want [people]_383-people particularly . In some ways , [Henry]_216-henry , [I]_0-i ’m [a humbug]_{1722-a humbug} — [I]_0-i mean , [I]_0-i ’m not what [you]_1723-you all take [me]_0-i for . [I]_0-i ’m not domestic , or very practical or sensible , really . And if [I]_0-i could calculate things , and use a telescope , and have to work out figures , and know to a fraction where [I]_0-i was wrong , [I]_0-i should be perfectly happy , and [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i should give [William]_176-rodney all [he]_176-rodney wants . ” Having reached this point , instinct told [her]_0-i that [she]_0-i had passed beyond the region in which [Henry]_216-henry ’s advice could be of any good ; and , having rid [her]_0-i mind of its superficial annoyance , [she]_0-i sat [herself]_0-i upon the stone seat , raised [her]_0-i eyes unconsciously and thought about the deeper questions which [she]_0-i had to decide , [she]_0-i knew , for [herself]_0-i . Would [she]_0-i , indeed , give [William]_176-rodney all [he]_176-rodney wanted ? In order to decide the question , [she]_0-i ran [her]_0-i mind rapidly over [her]_0-i little collection of significant sayings , looks , compliments , gestures , which had marked [their]_4024-their intercourse during the last day or two . [He]_216-henry had been annoyed because a box , containing some clothes specially chosen by [him]_216-henry for [her]_0-i to wear , had been taken to [the wrong station]_{4025-the wrong station} , owing to [her]_0-i neglect in the matter of labels . The box had arrived in the nick of time , and [he]_216-henry had remarked , as [she]_0-i came [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} on the first night , that [he]_216-henry had never seen [her]_0-i look more beautiful . [She]_0-i outshone [all [her]_0-i cousins]_{4027-all her cousins} . [He]_216-henry had discovered that [she]_0-i never made an ugly movement ; [he]_216-henry also said that the shape of [her]_0-i head made it possible for [her]_0-i , unlike [most women]_{4028-most women} , to wear [her]_0-i hair low . [He]_216-henry had twice reproved [her]_0-i for being silent at dinner ; and once for never attending to what [he]_216-henry said . [He]_216-henry had been surprised at the excellence of [her]_0-i French accent , but [he]_216-henry thought it was selfish of [her]_0-i not to go with [[her]_0-i mother]_{380-her mother} to call upon [the Middletons]_{305-the middletons} , because [they]_{305-the middletons} were [old family friends]_{4030-old family friends} and [very nice people]_{4031-very nice people} . On the whole , the balance was nearly even ; and , writing down a kind of conclusion in [her]_0-i mind which finished the sum for the present , at least , [she]_0-i changed the focus of [her]_0-i eyes , and saw nothing but the stars . To - night they seemed fixed with unusual firmness in the blue , and flashed back such a ripple of light into [her]_0-i eyes that [she]_0-i found [herself]_0-i thinking that to - night the stars were happy . Without knowing or caring more for Church practices than [most people of [her]_0-i age]_{4032-most people of her age} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could not look into the sky at Christmas time without feeling that , at this one season , [the Heavens]_{4033-the heavens} bend over [the earth]_{2936-the earth} with sympathy , and signal with immortal radiance that [they]_{4033-the heavens} , too , take part in [her]_0-i festival . Somehow , it seemed to [her]_0-i that [they]_{4033-the heavens} were even now beholding the procession of [kings]_4035-kings and [wise men]_{4036-wise men} upon some road on [a distant part of [the earth]_{2936-the earth}]_{4037-a distant part of the earth} . And yet , after gazing for another second , the stars did their usual work upon the mind , froze to cinders the whole of [our]_4039-our short human history , and reduced [the human body]_{4040-the human body} to an ape - like , furry form , crouching amid the brushwood of a barbarous clod of mud . This stage was soon succeeded by another , in which there was nothing in [the universe]_{4041-the universe} save stars and the light of stars ; as [she]_0-i looked up the pupils of [her]_0-i eyes so dilated with starlight that the whole of [her]_0-i seemed dissolved in silver and spilt over the ledges of the stars for ever and ever indefinitely through space . Somehow simultaneously , though incongruously , [she]_0-i was riding with [the magnanimous hero]_{4042-the magnanimous hero} upon [the shore]_{3516-the shore} or under [forest trees]_{4044-forest trees} , and so might have continued were it not for the rebuke forcibly administered by the body , which , content with the normal conditions of life , in no way furthers any attempt on the part of the mind to alter them . [She]_0-i grew cold , shook [herself]_0-i , rose , and walked towards [the house]_{377-the house} . By the light of the stars , [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} looked pale and romantic , and about twice [its]_{67-stogdon house} natural size . Built by [a retired admiral in the early years of the nineteenth century]_{4046-a retired admiral in the early years of the nineteenth century} , the curving bow windows of the front , now filled with reddish - yellow light , suggested [a portly three - decker , sailing seas where those dolphins and [narwhals who disport themselves upon the edges of old maps were scattered with an impartial hand]_{4048-narwhals who disport themselves upon the edges of old maps were scattered with an impartial hand}]_{4047-a portly three - decker , sailing seas where those dolphins and narwhals who disport themselves upon the edges of old maps were scattered with an impartial hand} . [A semicircular flight of shallow steps]_{4049-a semicircular flight of shallow steps} led to a very large door , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had left ajar . [She]_0-i hesitated , cast [her]_0-i eyes over the front of [the house]_{377-the house} , marked that a light burnt in one small window upon an upper floor , and pushed the door open . For a moment [she]_0-i stood in [the square hall]_{4051-the square hall} , among many horned skulls , sallow globes , cracked oil - paintings , and stuffed owls , hesitating , it seemed , whether [she]_0-i should open the door on [her]_0-i right , through which the stir of life reached [her]_0-i ears . Listening for a moment , [she]_0-i heard a sound which decided [her]_0-i , apparently , not to enter ; [[her]_0-i uncle]_{4052-her uncle} , [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} , was playing [his]_{306-sir francis} nightly game of whist ; it appeared probable that [he]_{306-sir francis} was losing . [She]_0-i went up [the curving stairway]_{4053-the curving stairway} , which represented the one attempt at ceremony in [the otherwise rather dilapidated mansion]_{4054-the otherwise rather dilapidated mansion} , and down [a narrow passage]_{4055-a narrow passage} until [she]_0-i came to [the room whose light [she]_0-i had seen from [the garden]_{3362-the garden}]_{4056-the room whose light she had seen from the garden} . Knocking , [she]_0-i was told to come in . [A young man]_{378-a young man} , [Henry Otway]_307-henry , was reading , with [his]_{378-a young man} feet on the fender . [He]_{378-a young man} had a fine head , the brow arched in the Elizabethan manner , but the gentle , honest eyes were rather skeptical than glowing with the Elizabethan vigor . [He]_{378-a young man} gave the impression that [he]_{378-a young man} had not yet found the cause which suited [his]_{378-a young man} temperament . [He]_{378-a young man} turned , put down [his]_{378-a young man} book , and looked at [her]_0-i . [He]_{378-a young man} noticed [her]_0-i rather pale , dew - drenched look , as of one whose mind is not altogether settled in the body . [He]_{378-a young man} had often laid [his]_{378-a young man} difficulties before [her]_0-i , and guessed , in some ways hoped , that perhaps [she]_0-i now had need of [him]_{378-a young man} . At the same time , [she]_0-i carried on [her]_0-i life with such independence that [he]_{378-a young man} scarcely expected any confidence to be expressed in words . “_[1724-you] [You]_1724-you have fled , too , then ? ” [he]_{378-a young man} said , looking at [her]_0-i cloak . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had forgotten to remove this token of [her]_{129-katharine} star - gazing . “_[1724-you] Fled ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[1724-you] From whom d’you mean ? Oh , the family party . Yes , it was hot down there , so [I]_0-i went into [the garden]_{3362-the garden} . ” “_[0-i] And are n’t [you]_1724-you very cold ? ” [Henry]_307-henry inquired , placing coal on the fire , drawing a chair up to the grate , and laying aside [her]_0-i cloak . [Her]_0-i indifference to such details often forced [Henry]_307-henry to act the part generally taken by [women]_557-women in such dealings . It was one of the ties between [them]_4060-them . “_[0-i] Thank [you]_1726-you , [Henry]_307-henry , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[307-henry] [I]_0-i ’m not disturbing [you]_1726-you ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not [here]_2985-here . [I]_0-i ’m at [Bungay]_33-bungay , ” [he]_307-henry replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m giving a music lesson to [Harold]_189-henry and [Julia]_308-julia . That was why [I]_0-i had to leave the table with [the ladies]_{1632-the ladies} — [I’m]_0-i spending the night [there]_2927-there , and [I]_0-i sha n’t be back till late on Christmas Eve . ” “_[0-i] How [I]_0-i wish — ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} began , and stopped short . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think these parties are a great mistake , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added briefly , and sighed . “_[0-i] Oh , horrible ! ” [he]_307-henry agreed ; and [they]_4061-they both fell silent . [Her]_{129-katharine} sigh made [him]_307-henry look at [her]_{129-katharine} . Should [he]_307-henry venture to ask [her]_{129-katharine} why [she]_{129-katharine} sighed ? Was [her]_{129-katharine} reticence about [her]_{129-katharine} own affairs as inviolable as it had often been convenient for rather [an egoistical young man]_{4062-an egoistical young man} to think it ? But since [her]_{129-katharine} engagement to [Rodney]_176-rodney , [Henry]_189-henry ’s feeling towards [her]_{129-katharine} had become rather complex ; equally divided between an impulse to hurt [her]_{129-katharine} and an impulse to be tender to [her]_{129-katharine} ; and all the time [he]_307-henry suffered a curious irritation from the sense that [she]_{129-katharine} was drifting away from [him]_307-henry for ever upon unknown seas . On [her]_{129-katharine} side , directly [Katharine]_{129-katharine} got into [his]_307-henry presence , and the sense of the stars dropped from [her]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{129-katharine} knew that any intercourse between [people]_383-people is extremely partial ; from the whole mass of [her]_{129-katharine} feelings , [only one or two]_{4064-only one or two} could be selected for [Henry]_189-henry ’s inspection , and therefore [she]_{129-katharine} sighed . Then [she]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_307-henry , and [their]_4065-them eyes meeting , much more seemed to be in common between [them]_4065-them than had appeared possible . At any rate [they]_4065-them had [a grandfather]_{4066-a grandfather} in common ; at any rate there was a kind of loyalty between [them]_4065-them sometimes found between relations who have no other cause to like [each other]_{451-each other} , as [these two]_{4068-these two} had . “_[0-i] Well , what ’s the date of the wedding ? ” said [Henry]_189-henry , the malicious mood now predominating . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think some time in March , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] And afterwards ? ” [he]_307-henry asked . “_[1730-we] [We]_1730-we take [a house]_{1541-a house} , [I]_0-i suppose , somewhere in [Chelsea]_10-chelsea . ” “_[0-i] It ’s very interesting , ” [he]_307-henry observed , stealing another look at [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} lay back in [her]_{129-katharine} arm - chair , [her]_{129-katharine} feet high upon the side of the grate , and in front of [her]_{129-katharine} , presumably to screen [her]_{129-katharine} eyes , [she]_{129-katharine} held a newspaper from which [she]_{129-katharine} picked up a sentence or two now and again . Observing this , [Henry]_189-henry remarked : “_[0-i] Perhaps marriage will make [you]_0-i more human . ” At this [she]_{129-katharine} lowered the newspaper an inch or two , but said nothing . Indeed , [she]_{129-katharine} sat quite silent for over a minute . “_[0-i] When [you]_0-i consider things like the stars , [our]_1730-we affairs do n’t seem to matter very much , do they ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} said suddenly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t think [I]_0-i ever do consider things like the stars , ” [Henry]_189-henry replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not sure that that ’s not the explanation , though , ” [he]_189-henry added , now observing [her]_{129-katharine} steadily . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i doubt whether there is an explanation , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied rather hurriedly , not clearly understanding what [he]_189-henry meant . “_[0-i] What ? No explanation of anything ? ” [he]_189-henry inquired , with a smile . “_[0-i] Oh , things happen . That ’s about all , ” [she]_{129-katharine} let drop in [her]_{129-katharine} casual , decided way . “_[0-i] That certainly seems to explain some of [your]_0-i actions , ” [Henry]_189-henry thought to [himself]_189-henry . “_[0-i] One thing ’s about as good as another , and [one]_422-one ’s got to do something , ” [he]_189-henry said aloud , expressing what [he]_189-henry supposed to be [her]_{129-katharine} attitude , much in [her]_{129-katharine} accent . Perhaps [she]_{129-katharine} detected the imitation , for looking gently at [him]_189-henry , [she]_{129-katharine} said , with ironical composure : “_[422-one] Well , if [you]_0-i believe that [your]_0-i life must be simple , [Henry]_189-henry . ” “_[189-henry] But [I]_0-i do n’t believe it , ” [he]_189-henry said shortly . “_[0-i] No more do [I]_0-i , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] What about the stars ? ” [he]_189-henry asked a moment later . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i understand that [you]_0-i rule [your]_0-i life by the stars ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} let this pass , either because [she]_{129-katharine} did not attend to it , or because the tone was not to [her]_{129-katharine} liking . Once more [she]_{129-katharine} paused , and then [she]_{129-katharine} inquired : “_[0-i] But do [you]_0-i always understand why [you]_0-i do everything ? Ought one to understand ? [People like [[my]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother}]_{1733-people like my mother} understand , ” [she]_{129-katharine} reflected . “_{[1733-people like my mother]} Now [I]_0-i must go down to [them]_{1733-people like my mother} , [I]_0-i suppose , and see what ’s happening . ” “_[0-i] What could be happening ? ” [Henry]_189-henry protested . “_[0-i] Oh , [they]_{1733-people like my mother} may want to settle something , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied vaguely , putting [her]_{129-katharine} feet on the ground , resting [her]_{129-katharine} chin on [her]_{129-katharine} hands , and looking out of [her]_{129-katharine} large dark eyes contemplatively at the fire . “_[0-i] And then there ’s [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added , as if by an afterthought . [Henry]_189-henry very nearly laughed , but restrained [himself]_189-henry . “_[176-rodney] Do [they]_{1733-people like my mother} know what coals are made of , [Henry]_189-henry ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked , a moment later . “_[189-henry] Mares ’ tails , [I]_0-i believe , ” [he]_189-henry hazarded . “_[189-henry] Have [you]_189-henry ever been down [a coal - mine]_{1735-a coal - mine} ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} went on . “_[189-henry] Do n’t let ’s talk about [coal - mines]_{1736-coal - mines} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_189-henry protested . “_{[129-katharine]} [We]_1737-we shall probably never see [each other]_{451-each other} again . When [you]_{129-katharine} ’re married — ” Tremendously to [his]_189-henry surprise , [he]_189-henry saw the tears stand in [her]_{129-katharine} eyes . “_{[129-katharine]} Why do [you]_1739-you all tease [me]_0-i ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[1739-you] It is n’t kind . ” [Henry]_189-henry could not pretend that [he]_189-henry was altogether ignorant of [her]_{129-katharine} meaning , though , certainly , [he]_189-henry had never guessed that [she]_{129-katharine} minded the teasing . But before [he]_189-henry knew what to say , [her]_{129-katharine} eyes were clear again , and the sudden crack in the surface was almost filled up . “_[1739-you] Things are n’t easy , anyhow , ” [she]_{129-katharine} stated . Obeying an impulse of genuine affection , [Henry]_189-henry spoke . “_[1739-you] Promise [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , that if [I]_0-i can ever help [you]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} will let [me]_0-i . ” [She]_{129-katharine} seemed to consider , looking once more into the red of the fire , and decided to refrain from any explanation . “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , [I]_0-i promise that , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said at length , and [Henry]_189-henry felt [himself]_189-henry gratified by [her]_{129-katharine} complete sincerity , and began to tell [her]_{129-katharine} now about [the coal - mine]_{4069-the coal - mine} , in obedience to [her]_{129-katharine} love of facts . [They]_4070-they were , indeed , descending [the shaft]_{4071-the shaft} in [a small cage]_{4072-a small cage} , and could hear the picks of [the miners]_{4073-the miners} , something like the gnawing of rats , in the earth beneath [them]_4070-they , when the door was burst open , without any knocking . “_[0-i] Well , here [you]_{129-katharine} are ! ” [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . Both [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Henry]_189-henry turned round very quickly and rather guiltily . [Rodney]_176-rodney was in evening dress . It was clear that [his]_176-rodney temper was ruffled . “_{[129-katharine]} That ’s where [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve been all the time , ” [he]_176-rodney repeated , looking at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve only been [here]_2985-here about ten minutes , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} left [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} over an hour ago . ” [She]_0-i said nothing . “_{[129-katharine]} Does it very much matter ? ” [Henry]_189-henry asked . [Rodney]_176-rodney found it hard to be unreasonable in the presence of [another man]_{4074-another man} , and did not answer [him]_176-rodney . “_[1743-they] [They]_1743-they do n’t like it , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[1743-they] It is n’t kind to [old people]_{1744-old people} to leave [them]_{1744-old people} alone — although [I]_0-i ’ve no doubt it ’s much more amusing to sit up here and talk to [Henry]_189-henry . ” “_[189-henry] [We]_1745-we were discussing coal - mines , ” said [Henry urbanely]_189-henry . “_[1745-we] Yes . But [we]_1745-we were talking about much more interesting things before that , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . From the apparent determination to hurt [him]_189-henry with which [she]_{129-katharine} spoke , [Henry]_189-henry thought that some sort of explosion on [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s part was about to take place . “_[1745-we] [I]_0-i can quite understand that , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney , with [his]_176-rodney little chuckle , leaning over the back of [his]_176-rodney chair and tapping the woodwork lightly with [his]_176-rodney fingers . [They]_1745-we were all silent , and the silence was acutely uncomfortable to [Henry]_189-henry , at least . “_[1745-we] Was it very dull , [William]_176-rodney ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} suddenly asked , with a complete change of tone and a little gesture of [her]_0-i hand . “_[176-rodney] Of course it was dull , ” [William]_176-rodney said sulkily . “_[176-rodney] Well , [you]_189-henry stay and talk to [Henry]_189-henry , and [I]_0-i ’ll go down , ” [she]_0-i replied . [She]_0-i rose as [she]_0-i spoke , and as [she]_0-i turned to leave [the room]_{379-the room} , [she]_0-i laid [her]_0-i hand , with a curiously caressing gesture , upon [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s shoulder . Instantly [Rodney]_176-rodney clasped [her]_0-i hand in [his]_176-rodney , with such an impulse of emotion that [Henry]_189-henry was annoyed , and rather ostentatiously opened a book . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall come down with [you]_189-henry , ” said [William]_176-rodney , as [she]_0-i drew back [her]_0-i hand , and made as if to pass [him]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] Oh no , ” [she]_0-i said hastily . “_[189-henry] [You]_189-henry stay here and talk to [Henry]_189-henry . ” “_[189-henry] Yes , do , ” said [Henry]_189-henry , shutting up [his]_189-henry book again . [His]_189-henry invitation was polite , without being precisely cordial . [Rodney]_176-rodney evidently hesitated as to the course [he]_176-rodney should pursue , but seeing [Katharine]_{129-katharine} at the door , [he]_176-rodney exclaimed : “_[189-henry] No . [I]_0-i want to come with [you]_189-henry . ” [She]_0-i looked back , and said in a very commanding tone , and with an expression of authority upon [her]_0-i face : “_[0-i] It ’s useless for [you]_189-henry to come . [I]_0-i shall go to bed in ten minutes . Good night . ” [She]_0-i nodded to [them]_4076-them both , but [Henry]_189-henry could not help noticing that [her]_0-i last nod was in [his]_176-rodney direction . [Rodney]_176-rodney sat down rather heavily . [His]_176-rodney mortification was so obvious that [Henry]_189-henry scarcely liked to open the conversation with some remark of [a literary character]_{4077-a literary character} . On the other hand , unless [he]_189-henry checked [him]_176-rodney , [Rodney]_176-rodney might begin to talk about [his]_176-rodney feelings , and irreticence is apt to be extremely painful , at any rate in prospect . [He]_176-rodney therefore adopted a middle course ; that is to say , [he]_176-rodney wrote a note upon the fly - leaf of [his]_176-rodney book , which ran , “_[189-henry] The situation is becoming most uncomfortable . ” This [he]_176-rodney decorated with those flourishes and decorative borders which grow of themselves upon these occasions ; and as [he]_176-rodney did so , [he]_176-rodney thought to [himself]_176-rodney that whatever [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s difficulties might be , they did not justify [her]_{129-katharine} behavior . [She]_{129-katharine} had spoken with a kind of brutality which suggested that , whether it is natural or assumed , [women]_557-women have a peculiar blindness to the feelings of [men]_719-men . The penciling of this note gave [Rodney]_176-rodney time to recover [himself]_176-rodney . Perhaps , for [he]_176-rodney was [a very vain man]_{4080-a very vain man} , [he]_176-rodney was more hurt that [Henry]_189-henry had seen [him]_176-rodney rebuffed than by the rebuff itself . [He]_176-rodney was in love with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and vanity is not decreased but increased by love ; especially , one may hazard , in the presence of [one]_422-one ’s own sex . But [Rodney]_176-rodney enjoyed the courage which springs from that laughable and lovable defect , and when [he]_176-rodney had mastered [his]_176-rodney first impulse , in some way to make a fool of [himself]_176-rodney , [he]_176-rodney drew inspiration from the perfect fit of [his]_176-rodney evening dress . [He]_176-rodney chose a cigarette , tapped it on the back of [his]_176-rodney hand , displayed [his]_176-rodney exquisite pumps on the edge of the fender , and summoned [his]_176-rodney self - respect . “_[189-henry] [You]_1746-you ’ve [several big estates]_{1747-several big estates} round here , [Otway]_307-henry , ” [he]_176-rodney began . “_[1746-you] Any good hunting ? Let [me]_0-i see , what pack would it be ? Who ’s [[your]_1746-you great man]_{1748-your great man} ? ” “_{[309-sir william budge]} [Sir William Budge]_{309-sir william budge} , [the sugar king]_{1749-the sugar king} , has [the biggest estate]_{1750-the biggest estate} . [He]_{309-sir william budge} bought out [poor [Stanham]_310-stanham , who went bankrupt]_310-stanham . ” “_{[310-stanham]} Which [Stanham]_310-stanham would that be ? [Verney]_311-verney or [Alfred]_292-alfred ? ” “_[292-alfred] [Alfred]_292-alfred .... [I]_0-i do n’t hunt [myself]_0-i . [You]_1746-you ’re [a great huntsman]_{1751-a great huntsman} , are n’t [you]_1746-you ? [You]_1746-you have a great reputation as [a horseman]_{1752-a horseman} , anyhow , ” [he]_292-alfred added , desiring to help [Rodney]_176-rodney in [his]_176-rodney effort to recover [his]_176-rodney complacency . “_[1746-you] Oh , [I]_0-i love riding , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney replied . “_[0-i] Could [I]_0-i get a horse down here ? Stupid of [me]_0-i ! [I]_0-i forgot to bring any clothes . [I]_0-i ca n’t imagine , though , who told [you]_1746-you [I]_0-i was anything of [a rider]_{1753-a rider} ? ” To tell the truth , [Henry]_307-henry labored under the same difficulty ; [he]_307-henry did not wish to introduce [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s name , and , therefore , [he]_307-henry replied vaguely that [he]_307-henry had always heard that [Rodney]_176-rodney was [a great rider]_{4082-a great rider} . In truth , [he]_307-henry had heard very little about [him]_176-rodney , one way or another , accepting [him]_176-rodney as a figure often to be found in the background at [[[his]_176-rodney aunt]_{4083-his aunt} ’s house]_{4084-his aunt ’s house} , and inevitably , though inexplicably , engaged to [[his]_176-rodney cousin]_{4085-his cousin} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t care much for shooting , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney continued ; “_[0-i] but [one]_422-one has to do it , unless one wants to be altogether out of things . [I]_0-i dare say there ’s [some very pretty country round here]_{1755-some very pretty country round here} . [I]_0-i stayed once at [Bolham Hall]_{70-bolham hall} . [Young Cranthorpe]_{312-young cranthorpe} was up with [you]_1756-you , was n’t [he]_{312-young cranthorpe} ? [He]_{312-young cranthorpe} married [[old Lord Bolham]_{313-old lord bolham} ’s daughter]_{1757-old lord bolham ’s daughter} . [Very nice people]_{4031-very nice people} — in [their]_{4031-very nice people} way . ” “_{[4031-very nice people]} [I]_0-i do n’t mix in that society , ” [Henry]_307-henry remarked , rather shortly . But [Rodney]_176-rodney , now started on an agreeable current of reflection , could not resist the temptation of pursuing it a little further . [He]_176-rodney appeared to [himself]_176-rodney as [a man who moved easily in very good society , and knew enough about the true values of life]_{4086-a man who moved easily in very good society , and knew enough about the true values of life} to be [himself]_176-rodney above it . “_[0-i] Oh , but [you]_1756-you should , ” [he]_176-rodney went on . “_[1756-you] It ’s well worth staying [there]_2927-there , anyhow , once a year . [They]_1760-they make one very comfortable , and [the women]_{3513-the women} are ravishing . ” “_{[3513-the women]} [The women]_{3513-the women} ? ” [Henry]_307-henry thought to [himself]_307-henry , with disgust . “_{[3513-the women]} What could [any woman]_{1763-any woman} see in [you]_1756-you ? ” [His]_307-henry tolerance was rapidly becoming exhausted , but [he]_307-henry could not help liking [Rodney]_176-rodney nevertheless , and this appeared to [him]_307-henry strange , for [he]_307-henry was fastidious , and such words in another mouth would have condemned [the speaker]_{856-the speaker} irreparably . [He]_307-henry began , in short , to wonder what kind of creature [this man who was to marry [[his]_307-henry cousin]_{4085-his cousin} might be]_{4088-this man who was to marry his cousin might be} . Could [any one]_{2939-any one} , except [a rather singular character]_{4091-a rather singular character} , afford to be so ridiculously vain ? “_{[1763-any woman]} [I]_0-i do n’t think [I]_0-i should get on in that society , ” [he]_307-henry replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t think [I]_0-i should know what to say to [Lady Rose]_280-rosalind if [I]_0-i met [her]_280-rosalind . ” “_{[280-rosalind]} [I]_0-i do n’t find any difficulty , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney chuckled . “_[0-i] [You]_1764-you talk to [them]_1765-their about [[their]_1765-their children]_{1766-their children} , if [they]_1765-their have any , or [their]_1765-their accomplishments — painting , gardening , poetry — [they’re]_1765-their so delightfully sympathetic . Seriously , [you]_1764-you know [I]_0-i think [a woman]_{3107-a woman} ’s opinion of one ’s poetry is always worth having . Do n’t ask [them]_1765-their for [their]_1765-their reasons . Just ask [them]_1765-their for [their]_1765-their feelings . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , for example — ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” said [Henry]_307-henry , with an emphasis upon the name , almost as if [he]_307-henry resented [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s use of it , “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is very unlike [most women]_{4028-most women} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} Quite , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney agreed . “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} is — ” [He]_176-rodney seemed about to describe [her]_{129-katharine} , and [he]_176-rodney hesitated for a long time . “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} ’s looking very well , ” [he]_176-rodney stated , or rather almost inquired , in a different tone from that in which [he]_176-rodney had been speaking . [Henry]_307-henry bent [his]_307-henry head . “_{[129-katharine]} But , as [a family]_{569-a family} , [you]_{569-a family} ’re given to [moods]_1770-moods , eh ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Not [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” said [Henry]_307-henry , with decision . “_{[129-katharine]} Not [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney repeated , as if [he]_176-rodney weighed the meaning of the words . “_{[129-katharine]} No , perhaps [you]_{569-a family} ’re right . But [her]_{129-katharine} engagement has changed [her]_{129-katharine} . Naturally , ” [he]_176-rodney added , “_[422-one] [one]_422-one would expect that to be so . ” [He]_176-rodney waited for [Henry]_307-henry to confirm this statement , but [Henry]_307-henry remained silent . “_[422-one] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has had a difficult life , in some ways , ” [he]_176-rodney continued . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i expect that marriage will be good for [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} has great powers . ” “_{[129-katharine]} Great , ” said [Henry]_307-henry , with decision . “_{[129-katharine]} Yes — but now what direction d’you think [they]_1772-they take ? ” [Rodney]_176-rodney had completely dropped [his]_176-rodney pose as [a man of [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4092-a man of the world} , and seemed to be asking [Henry]_307-henry to help [him]_176-rodney in a difficulty . “_[1772-they] [I]_0-i do n’t know , ” [Henry]_307-henry hesitated cautiously . “_[0-i] [D’you]_1773-d’you think [children]_{3537-children} — [a household]_{1775-a household} — that sort of thing — [d’you]_1773-d’you think that ’ll satisfy [her]_{129-katharine} ? Mind , [I]_0-i ’m out all day . ” “_[0-i] [She]_{129-katharine} would certainly be very competent , ” [Henry]_307-henry stated . “_{[129-katharine]} Oh , [she]_{129-katharine} ’s wonderfully competent , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney . “_{[129-katharine]} But — [I]_0-i get absorbed in [my]_0-i poetry . Well , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has n’t got that . [She]_{129-katharine} admires [my]_0-i poetry , [you]_0-i know , but that would n’t be enough for [her]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} No , ” said [Henry]_307-henry . [He]_307-henry paused . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i ’re right , ” [he]_176-rodney added , as if [he]_176-rodney were summing up [his]_176-rodney thoughts . “_[0-i] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has n’t found [herself]_{129-katharine} yet . Life is n’t altogether real to [her]_{129-katharine} yet — [I]_0-i sometimes think — ” “_[0-i] Yes ? ” [Rodney]_176-rodney inquired , as if [he]_176-rodney were eager for [Henry]_307-henry to continue . “_[0-i] That is what [I]_0-i — ” [he]_176-rodney was going on , as [Henry]_307-henry remained silent , but the sentence was not finished , for the door opened , and [they]_4094-they were interrupted by [[Henry]_307-henry ’s younger brother]_{4095-henry ’s younger brother} [Gilbert]_163-gilbert , much to [Henry]_307-henry ’s relief , for [he]_163-gilbert had already said more than [he]_163-gilbert liked . When the sun shone , as it did with unusual brightness that Christmas week , it revealed much that was faded and not altogether well - kept - up in [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} and [[its]_{67-stogdon house} grounds]_{4096-its grounds} . In truth , [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} had retired from service under [the Government of [India]_12-india]_{4097-the government of india} with a pension that was not adequate , in [his]_{306-sir francis} opinion , to [his]_{306-sir francis} services , as it certainly was not adequate to [his]_{306-sir francis} ambitions . [His]_{306-sir francis} career had not come up to [his]_{306-sir francis} expectations , and although [he]_{306-sir francis} was [a very fine , white - whiskered , mahogany - colored old man to look at]_{4098-a very fine , white - whiskered , mahogany - colored old man to look at} , and had laid down a very choice cellar of good reading and good stories , [you]_4099-you could not long remain ignorant of the fact that some thunder - storm had soured them ; [he]_{306-sir francis} had a grievance . This grievance dated back to the middle years of the last century , when , owing to some official intrigue , [his]_{306-sir francis} merits had been passed over in a disgraceful manner in favor of another , [[his]_{306-sir francis} junior]_{4100-his junior} . The rights and wrongs of the story , presuming that they had some existence in fact , were no longer clearly known to [[his]_{306-sir francis} wife]_{2946-his wife} and [children]_{3537-children} ; but this disappointment had played a very large part in [their]_4103-their lives , and had poisoned the life of [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} much as a disappointment in love is said to poison the whole life of [a woman]_{3107-a woman} . Long brooding on [his]_{306-sir francis} failure , continual arrangement and rearrangement of [his]_{306-sir francis} deserts and rebuffs , had made [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} much of [an egoist]_{3061-an egoist} , and in [his]_{306-sir francis} retirement [his]_{306-sir francis} temper became increasingly difficult and exacting . [[His]_{306-sir francis} wife]_{2946-his wife} now offered so little resistance to [his]_{306-sir francis} moods that [she]_{2946-his wife} was practically useless to [him]_{306-sir francis} . [He]_{306-sir francis} made [[his]_{306-sir francis} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} [Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} into [[his]_{306-sir francis} chief confidante]_{4108-his chief confidante} , and the prime of [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} life was being rapidly consumed by [[her]_{201-aunt eleanor} father]_{406-her father} . To [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} [he]_{306-sir francis} dictated the memoirs which were to avenge [his]_{306-sir francis} memory , and [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} had to assure [him]_{306-sir francis} constantly that [his]_{306-sir francis} treatment had been a disgrace . Already , at the age of thirty - five , [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} cheeks were whitening as [[her]_{201-aunt eleanor} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s had whitened , but for [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} there would be no memories of Indian suns and [Indian rivers]_{4111-indian rivers} , and clamor of [children]_{3537-children} in [a nursery]_{4113-a nursery} ; [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} would have very little of substance to think about when [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} sat , as [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} now sat , knitting white wool , with [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} eyes fixed almost perpetually upon the same embroidered bird upon the same fire - screen . But then [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} was one of [the people for whom the great make - believe game of English social life]_{4114-the people for whom the great make - believe game of english social life} has been invented ; [she]_{291-lady otway} spent most of [her]_{291-lady otway} time in pretending to [herself]_{291-lady otway} and [[her]_{291-lady otway} neighbors]_{4115-her neighbors} that [she]_{291-lady otway} was [a dignified , important , much - occupied person , of considerable social standing and sufficient wealth]_{4116-a dignified , important , much - occupied person , of considerable social standing and sufficient wealth} . In view of the actual state of things this game needed a great deal of skill ; and , perhaps , at the age [she]_{291-lady otway} had reached — [she]_{291-lady otway} was over sixty — [she]_{291-lady otway} played far more to deceive [herself]_{291-lady otway} than to deceive [any one else]_{2963-any one else} . Moreover , the armor was wearing thin ; [she]_{291-lady otway} forgot to keep up appearances more and more . The worn patches in the carpets , and the pallor of [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , where no chair or cover had been renewed for some years , were due not only to the miserable pension , but to the wear and tear of [twelve children]_{4119-twelve children} , eight of whom were [sons]_4120-sons . As often happens in [these large families]_{4121-these large families} , a distinct dividing - line could be traced , about half - way in the succession , where the money for educational purposes had run short , and [the six younger children]_{4122-the six younger children} had grown up far more economically than [the elder]_{4123-the elder} . If [the boys]_{1642-the boys} were clever , [they]_{1642-the boys} won scholarships , and went to [school]_4125-school ; if [they]_{1642-the boys} were not clever , [they]_{1642-the boys} took what [the family]_{667-the family} connection had to offer [them]_{1642-the boys} . [The girls]_{4127-the girls} accepted situations occasionally , but there were always one or two at [home]_2992-home , nursing sick animals , tending silkworms , or playing the flute in [[their]_{4127-the girls} bedrooms]_{4129-their bedrooms} . The distinction between [the elder children]_{4130-the elder children} and [the younger]_{4131-the younger} corresponded almost to the distinction between a higher class and a lower one , for with only a haphazard education and insufficient allowances , [the younger children]_{4132-the younger children} had picked up accomplishments , [friends]_4133-friends , and points of view which were not to be found within the walls of [a public school]_{4134-a public school} or of [a Government office]_{886-a government office} . Between the two divisions there was considerable hostility , [the elder]_{4123-the elder} trying to patronize [the younger]_{4131-the younger} , [the younger]_{4131-the younger} refusing to respect [the elder]_{4123-the elder} ; but one feeling united [them]_{4132-the younger children} and instantly closed any risk of a breach — [their]_{4132-the younger children} common belief in the superiority of [[their]_{4132-the younger children} own family]_{4140-their own family} to all others . [Henry]_307-henry was [the eldest of [the younger group]_{4142-the younger group}]_{4141-the eldest of the younger group} , and [[their]_{4142-the younger group} leader]_{4143-their leader} ; [he]_307-henry bought strange books and joined [odd societies]_{4144-odd societies} ; [he]_307-henry went without a tie for a whole year , and had six shirts made of black flannel . [He]_307-henry had long refused to take a seat either in [a shipping office]_{4145-a shipping office} or in [[a tea - merchant]_{4146-a tea - merchant} ’s warehouse]_{4147-a tea - merchant ’s warehouse} ; and persisted , in spite of the disapproval of [uncles]_706-uncles and [aunts]_707-aunts , in practicing both violin and piano , with the result that [he]_307-henry could not perform professionally upon either . Indeed , for thirty - two years of life [he]_307-henry had nothing more substantial to show than a manuscript book containing the score of half an opera . In this protest of [his]_307-henry , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had always given [him]_307-henry [her]_{129-katharine} support , and as [she]_{129-katharine} was generally held to be [an extremely sensible person]_{4150-an extremely sensible person} , who dressed too well to be eccentric , [he]_307-henry had found [her]_{129-katharine} support of some use . Indeed , when [she]_{129-katharine} came down at Christmas [she]_{129-katharine} usually spent a great part of [her]_{129-katharine} time in private conferences with [Henry]_307-henry and with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , [the youngest girl]_{4151-the youngest girl} , to whom the silkworms belonged . With [the younger section]_{4152-the younger section} [she]_{129-katharine} had a great reputation for common sense , and for something that [they]_{4152-the younger section} despised but inwardly respected and called knowledge of [the world]_{478-the world} — that is to say , of the way in which [respectable elderly people]_{4154-respectable elderly people} , going to [their]_{4154-respectable elderly people} clubs and dining out with [ministers]_{4155-ministers} , think and behave . [She]_{129-katharine} had more than once played the part of ambassador between [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} and [[her]_{291-lady otway} children]_{4156-her children} . [That poor lady]_{4157-that poor lady} , for instance , consulted [her]_{129-katharine} for advice when , one day , [she]_{129-katharine} opened [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s bedroom door on a mission of discovery , and found the ceiling hung with mulberry - leaves , the windows blocked with cages , and the tables stacked with [home]_2992-home - made machines for the manufacture of silk dresses . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [you]_1776-you could help [her]_0-i to take an interest in something that [other people]_{2964-other people} are interested in , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i observed , rather plaintively , detailing [her]_0-i grievances . “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s all [Henry]_307-henry ’s doing , [you]_1776-you know , giving up [her]_0-i parties and taking to these nasty insects . It does n’t follow that if [a man]_{1147-a man} can do a thing [a woman]_{3107-a woman} may too . ” The morning was sufficiently bright to make the chairs and sofas in [[Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} ’s private sitting - room]_{4159-lady otway ’s private sitting - room} appear more than usually shabby , and [the gallant gentlemen]_{4160-the gallant gentlemen} , [[her]_{291-lady otway} brothers and cousins , who had defended [the Empire]_{4162-the empire} and left [their]_{4161-her brothers and cousins , who had defended the empire and left their bones on many frontiers} bones on many frontiers]_{4161-her brothers and cousins , who had defended the empire and left their bones on many frontiers} , looked at [the world]_{478-the world} through a film of yellow which the morning light seemed to have drawn across [their]_{4161-her brothers and cousins , who had defended the empire and left their bones on many frontiers} photographs . [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} sighed , it may be at the faded relics , and turned , with resignation , to [her]_{291-lady otway} balls of wool , which , curiously and characteristically , were not an ivory - white , but rather a tarnished yellow - white . [She]_{291-lady otway} had called [[her]_{291-lady otway} niece]_{3681-her niece} in for a little chat . [She]_{291-lady otway} had always trusted [her]_{291-lady otway} , and now more than ever , since [her]_{291-lady otway} engagement to [Rodney]_176-rodney , which seemed to [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} extremely suitable , and just what [one]_422-one would wish for [[one]_422-one ’s own daughter]_{4167-one ’s own daughter} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} unwittingly increased [her]_{129-katharine} reputation for wisdom by asking to be given knitting - needles too . “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s so very pleasant , ” said [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} , “_{[129-katharine]} to knit while [one]_422-one ’s talking . And now , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , tell [me]_0-i about [your]_{129-katharine} plans . ” The emotions of the night before , which [she]_{291-lady otway} had suppressed in such a way as to keep [her]_{129-katharine} awake till dawn , had left [Katharine]_{129-katharine} a little jaded , and thus more matter - of - fact than usual . [She]_{129-katharine} was quite ready to discuss [her]_{129-katharine} plans — [houses]_4168-houses and rents , [servants]_771-servants and economy — without feeling that they concerned [her]_{129-katharine} very much . As [she]_{129-katharine} spoke , knitting methodically meanwhile , [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} noted , with approval , the upright , responsible bearing of [[her]_{291-lady otway} niece]_{3681-her niece} , to whom the prospect of marriage had brought some gravity most becoming in [a bride]_{4171-a bride} , and yet , in these days , most rare . Yes , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s engagement had changed [her]_{129-katharine} a little . “_{[129-katharine]} What [a perfect daughter]_{1782-a perfect daughter} , or [daughter - in - law]_{1783-daughter - in - law} ! ” [she]_{291-lady otway} thought to [herself]_{291-lady otway} , and could not help contrasting [her]_{129-katharine} with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , surrounded by innumerable silkworms in [[her]_0-i bedroom]_{3396-her bedroom} . “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , ” [she]_{291-lady otway} continued , glancing at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with the round , greenish eyes which were as inexpressive as moist marbles , “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is like [the girls of [my]_0-i youth]_{1784-the girls of my youth} . [We]_1785-we took the serious things of life seriously . ” But just as [she]_{291-lady otway} was deriving satisfaction from this thought , and was producing some of the hoarded wisdom which [none of [[her]_{291-lady otway} own daughters]_{4174-her own daughters}]_{4173-none of her own daughters} , alas ! seemed now to need , the door opened , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} came in , or rather , did not come in , but stood in the doorway and smiled , having evidently mistaken [the room]_{379-the room} . “_[1785-we] [I]_0-i never shall know [my]_0-i way about [this house]_{1045-this house} ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m on [my]_0-i way to [the library]_{1787-the library} , and [I]_0-i do n’t want to interrupt . [You]_0-i and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} were having a little chat ? ” The presence of [[her]_0-i sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} made [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} slightly uneasy . How could [she]_0-i go on with what [she]_0-i was saying in [Maggie]_233-maggie ’s presence ? for [she]_0-i was saying something that [she]_0-i had never said , all these years , to [Maggie]_233-maggie [herself]_0-i . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was telling [Katharine]_{129-katharine} a few little commonplaces about marriage , ” [she]_0-i said , with a little laugh . “_[0-i] Are none of [[my]_0-i children]_{1788-my children} looking after [you]_0-i , [Maggie]_233-maggie ? ” “_[233-maggie] Marriage , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , coming into [the room]_{379-the room} , and nodding [her]_0-i head once or twice , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i always say marriage is a school . And [you]_0-i do n’t get the prizes unless [you]_0-i go to [school]_4125-school . [Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} has won all the prizes , ” [she]_0-i added , giving [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} a little pat , which made [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} more uncomfortable still . [She]_0-i half laughed , muttered something , and ended on a sigh . “_{[314-charlotte]} [Aunt Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} was saying that it ’s no good being married unless [you]_0-i submit to [[your]_0-i husband]_{1146-your husband} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , framing [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} ’s words into a far more definite shape than [they]_4180-they had really worn ; and when [she]_0-i spoke thus [she]_0-i did not appear at all old - fashioned . [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} looked at [her]_0-i and paused for a moment . “_{[314-charlotte]} Well , [I]_0-i really do n’t advise [a woman who wants to have things [her]_{1791-a woman who wants to have things her own way to get married} own way to get married]_{1791-a woman who wants to have things her own way to get married} , ” [she]_0-i said , beginning a fresh row rather elaborately . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} knew something of the circumstances which , as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} thought , had inspired this remark . In a moment [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} face was clouded with sympathy which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} did not quite know how to express . “_[0-i] What a shame it was ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed , forgetting that [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} train of thought might not be obvious to [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} listeners]_{4181-her listeners} . “_[0-i] But , [Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} , it would have been much worse if [Frank]_{306-sir francis} had disgraced [himself]_{306-sir francis} in any way . And it is n’t what [[our]_1792-our husbands]_{1793-our husbands} get , but what [they]_{1793-our husbands} are . [I]_0-i used to dream of white horses and palanquins , too ; but still , [I]_0-i like the ink - pots best . And who knows ? ” [she]_0-i concluded , looking at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_{[314-charlotte]} [[your]_{314-charlotte} father]_{1101-your father} may be made [a baronet to - morrow]_{1795-a baronet to - morrow} . ” [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} , who was [[Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s sister]_{4182-mr. hilbery ’s sister} , knew quite well that , in private , [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} called [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} “_{[1796-that old turk]} [that old Turk]_{1796-that old turk} , ” and though [she]_{291-lady otway} did not follow the drift of [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s remarks , [she]_{291-lady otway} knew what prompted [them]_4183-them . “_{[1796-that old turk]} But if [you]_{314-charlotte} can give way to [[your]_{314-charlotte} husband]_{1146-your husband} , ” [she]_0-i said , speaking to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as if there were a separate understanding between [them]_4184-them , “_{[314-charlotte]} a happy marriage is the happiest thing in [the world]_{478-the world} . ” “_{[314-charlotte]} Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_{[314-charlotte]} but — ” [She]_{129-katharine} did not mean to finish [her]_{129-katharine} sentence , [she]_{129-katharine} merely wished to induce [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} and [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} to go on talking about marriage , for [she]_{129-katharine} was in the mood to feel that [other people]_{2964-other people} could help [her]_{129-katharine} if [they]_{2964-other people} would . [She]_{129-katharine} went on knitting , but [her]_{129-katharine} fingers worked with a decision that was oddly unlike the smooth and contemplative sweep of [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} ’s plump hand . Now and then [she]_{129-katharine} looked swiftly at [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , then at [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} held a book in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} hand , and was on [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} way , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} guessed , to [the library]_{1787-the library} , where another paragraph was to be added to that varied assortment of paragraphs , the Life of [Richard Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} . Normally , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would have hurried [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , and seen that no excuse for distraction came [her]_{129-katharine} way . [Her]_{129-katharine} attitude towards [the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s life , however , had changed with other changes ; and [she]_{129-katharine} was content to forget all about [her]_{129-katharine} scheme of hours . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was secretly delighted . [Her]_{129-katharine} relief at finding [herself]_{129-katharine} excused manifested itself in a series of sidelong glances of sly humor in [[her]_{129-katharine} daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s direction , and the indulgence put [her]_{129-katharine} in the best of spirits . Was [she]_{129-katharine} to be allowed merely to sit and talk ? It was so much pleasanter to sit in [a nice room]_{4195-a nice room} filled with all sorts of interesting odds and ends which [she]_{129-katharine} had n’t looked at for a year , at least , than to seek out one date which contradicted another in a dictionary . “_[1799-we] [We]_1799-we ’ve all had [perfect husbands]_{1800-perfect husbands} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} concluded , generously forgiving [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} all [his]_{306-sir francis} faults in a lump . “_[1799-we] Not that [I]_0-i think a bad temper is really a fault in [a man]_{1147-a man} . [I]_0-i do n’t mean a bad temper , ” [she]_{129-katharine} corrected [herself]_{129-katharine} , with a glance obviously in the direction of [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should say a quick , impatient temper . Most , in fact [all great men]_{1802-all great men} have had bad tempers — except [[your]_1803-your grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” and here [she]_0-i sighed , and suggested that , perhaps , [she]_{129-katharine} ought to go down to [the library]_{1787-the library} . “_{[129-katharine]} But in the ordinary marriage , is it necessary to give way to [[one]_422-one ’s husband]_{1373-one ’s husband} ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , taking no notice of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s suggestion , blind even to the depression which had now taken possession of [her]_{129-katharine} at the thought of [her]_{129-katharine} own inevitable death . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should say yes , certainly , ” said [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} , with a decision most unusual for [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] Then [one]_422-one ought to make up [one]_422-one ’s mind to that before [one]_422-one is married , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} mused , seeming to address [herself]_{129-katharine} . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was not much interested in these remarks , which seemed to have a melancholy tendency , and to revive [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} spirits [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had recourse to an infallible remedy — [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked out of the window . “_[422-one] Do look at that lovely little blue bird ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed , and [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} eye looked with extreme pleasure at the soft sky . at the trees , at the green fields visible behind those trees , and at the leafless branches which surrounded the body of the small blue tit . [Her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sympathy with nature was exquisite . “_{[4028-most women]} [Most women]_{4028-most women} know by instinct whether [they]_{4028-most women} can give it or not , ” [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} slipped in quickly , in rather a low voice , as if [she]_0-i wanted to get this said while [[her]_{291-lady otway} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} ’s attention was diverted . “_{[4028-most women]} And if not — well then , [my]_0-i advice would be — don’t marry . ” “_[422-one] Oh , but marriage is the happiest life for [a woman]_{3107-a woman} , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , catching the word marriage , as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} brought [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} eyes back to [the room]_{379-the room} again . Then [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} turned [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind to what [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had said . “_[422-one] It ’s the most interesting life , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} corrected [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} with a look of vague alarm . It was the kind of maternal scrutiny which suggests that , in looking at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} [a mother]_{4202-a mother} is really looking at [herself]_{4202-a mother} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was not altogether satisfied ; but [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} purposely made no attempt to break down the reserve which , as a matter of fact , was a quality [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} particularly admired and depended upon in [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} . But when [[her]_{373-her daughter} mother]_{380-her mother} said that marriage was the most interesting life , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt , as [she]_{129-katharine} was apt to do suddenly , for no definite reason , that [they]_4205-they understood [each other]_{451-each other} , in spite of differing in every possible way . Yet the wisdom of [the old]_{3685-the old} seems to apply more to feelings which [we]_4208-we have in common with the rest of [the human race]_{4209-the human race} than to [our]_4208-we feelings as [individuals]_{4210-individuals} , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} knew that only [some one of [her]_{129-katharine} own age]_{4211-some one of her own age} could follow [her]_{129-katharine} meaning . Both [these elderly women]_{4212-these elderly women} seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} to have been content with so little happiness , and at the moment [she]_{129-katharine} had not sufficient force to feel certain that [their]_{4212-these elderly women} version of marriage was the wrong one . In [London]_2-london , certainly , this temperate attitude toward [her]_{129-katharine} own marriage had seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} just . Why had [she]_{129-katharine} now changed ? Why did it now depress [her]_{129-katharine} ? It never occurred to [her]_{129-katharine} that [her]_{129-katharine} own conduct could be anything of a puzzle to [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , or that [elder people]_{4214-elder people} are as much affected by [the young]_{4215-the young} as [the young]_{4215-the young} are by [them]_{4215-the young} . And yet it was true that love — passion — whatever [one]_422-one chose to call it , had played far less part in [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s life than might have seemed likely , judging from [her]_{129-katharine} enthusiastic and imaginative temperament . [She]_{129-katharine} had always been more interested by other things . [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} , strange though it seemed , guessed more accurately at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s state of mind than [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} did . “_[422-one] Why do n’t [we]_1812-we all live in [the country]_{761-the country} ? ” exclaimed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , once more looking out of the window . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m sure one would think such beautiful things if [one]_422-one lived in [the country]_{761-the country} . [No [horrid slum houses]_{1817-horrid slum houses} to depress one , [no trams]_{1818-no trams} or [motor - cars]_{1819-motor - cars}]_{1816-no horrid slum houses to depress one , no trams or motor - cars} ; and [the people]_{3250-the people} all looking so plump and cheerful . Is n’t there [some little cottage near [you]_1822-you]_{1821-some little cottage near you} , [Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} , which would do for [us]_1812-we , with [a spare room]_{1823-a spare room} , perhaps , in case [we]_1812-we asked [a friend]_{1824-a friend} down ? And [we]_1812-we should save so much money that [we]_1812-we should be able to travel — ” “_[1822-you] Yes . [You]_1822-you would find it very nice for a week or two , no doubt , ” said [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} . “_[1822-you] But what hour would [you]_1822-you like [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} this morning ? ” [she]_{291-lady otway} continued , touching the bell . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} shall decide , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , feeling [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} unable to prefer one hour to another . “_{[129-katharine]} And [I]_0-i was just going to tell [you]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , how , when [I]_0-i woke this morning , everything seemed so clear in [my]_0-i head that if [I]_0-i ’d had a pencil [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i could have written quite a long chapter . When [we]_1812-we ’re out on [our]_1812-we drive [I]_0-i shall find [us]_1812-we [a house]_{1541-a house} . A few trees round [it]_{1541-a house} , and [a little garden]_{1827-a little garden} , [a pond]_{1516-a pond} with a Chinese duck , a study for [[your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} , [a study for [me]_0-i]_{1830-a study for me} , and [a sitting room for [Katharine]_{129-katharine}]_{1831-a sitting room for katharine} , because then [she]_{129-katharine} ’ll be [a married lady]_{1832-a married lady} . ” At this [Katharine]_{129-katharine} shivered a little , drew up to the fire , and warmed [her]_{129-katharine} hands by spreading them over the topmost peak of the coal . [She]_{129-katharine} wished to bring the talk back to marriage again , in order to hear [Aunt Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} ’s views , but [she]_{129-katharine} did not know how to do this . “_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i look at [your]_{129-katharine} engagement - ring , [Aunt Charlotte]_{314-charlotte} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , noticing [her]_{129-katharine} own . [She]_{129-katharine} took the cluster of green stones and turned it round and round , but [she]_{129-katharine} did not know what to say next . “_{[314-charlotte]} That poor old ring was a sad disappointment to [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i first had it , ” [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} mused . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’d set [my]_0-i heart on a diamond ring , but [I]_0-i never liked to tell [Frank]_{306-sir francis} , naturally . [He]_{306-sir francis} bought it at [Simla]_71-simla . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned the ring round once more , and gave it back to [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} without speaking . And while [she]_{129-katharine} turned it round [her]_{129-katharine} lips set themselves firmly together , and it seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{129-katharine} could satisfy [William]_176-rodney as [these women]_{4220-these women} had satisfied [[their]_{4220-these women} husbands]_{4221-their husbands} ; [she]_{129-katharine} could pretend to like emeralds when [she]_{129-katharine} preferred diamonds . Having replaced [her]_{291-lady otway} ring , [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} remarked that it was chilly , though not more so than [one]_422-one must expect at this time of year . Indeed , [one]_422-one ought to be thankful to see the sun at all , and [she]_{291-lady otway} advised [them]_{4220-these women} both to dress warmly for [their]_{4220-these women} drive . [[Her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} ’s stock of commonplaces , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sometimes suspected , had been laid in on purpose to fill silences with , and had little to do with [her]_{129-katharine} private thoughts . But at this moment they seemed terribly in keeping with [her]_{129-katharine} own conclusions , so that [she]_{129-katharine} took up [her]_{129-katharine} knitting again and listened , chiefly with a view to confirming [herself]_{129-katharine} in the belief that to be engaged to marry [some one with whom [you]_4226-you are not in love]_{4225-some one with whom you are not in love} is an inevitable step in [a world where the existence of passion]_{4227-a world where the existence of passion} is only [a traveller]_{4228-a traveller} ’s story brought from the heart of [deep forests]_{4229-deep forests} and told so rarely that [wise people]_{4230-wise people} doubt whether the story can be true . [She]_{129-katharine} did [her]_{129-katharine} best to listen to [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} asking for news of [John]_258-john , and to [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} replying with the authentic history of [Hilda]_160-hilda ’s engagement to [an officer in [the Indian Army]_{72-the indian army}]_{4233-an officer in the indian army} , but [she]_{129-katharine} cast [her]_{129-katharine} mind alternately towards forest paths and starry blossoms , and towards pages of neatly written mathematical signs . When [her]_{129-katharine} mind took this turn [her]_{129-katharine} marriage seemed no more than an archway through which it was necessary to pass in order to have [her]_{129-katharine} desire . At such times the current of [her]_{129-katharine} nature ran in its deep narrow channel with great force and with an alarming lack of consideration for the feelings of [others]_1056-others . Just as [the two elder ladies]_{4235-the two elder ladies} had finished [their]_{4235-the two elder ladies} survey of [the family]_{667-the family} prospects , and [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} was nervously anticipating some general statement as to life and death from [[her]_{291-lady otway} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} burst into [the room]_{379-the room} with the news that [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} was at the door . “_{[306-sir francis]} Why did n’t [Andrews]_315-andrews tell [me]_0-i [himself]_315-andrews ? ” said [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} , peevishly , blaming [[her]_{291-lady otway} servants]_{4240-her servants} for not living up to [her]_{291-lady otway} ideals . When [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} arrived in [the hall]_{3431-the hall} , ready dressed for [their]_{4235-the two elder ladies} drive , [they]_{4235-the two elder ladies} found that the usual discussion was going forward as to the plans of [the rest of [the family]_{667-the family}]_{3672-the rest of the family} . In token of this , a great many doors were opening and shutting , [two or three people]_{4244-two or three people} stood irresolutely on the stairs , now going a few steps up , and now a few steps down , and [Sir Francis]_{306-sir francis} [himself]_{306-sir francis} had come out from [[his]_{306-sir francis} study]_{3974-his study} , with the “_{[315-andrews]} Times ” under [his]_{306-sir francis} arm , and a complaint about noise and draughts from the open door which , at least , had the effect of bundling [the people who did not want to go into]_{4246-the people who did not want to go into} [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} , and sending [those who did not want to stay]_{4248-those who did not want to stay} back to [[their]_{4248-those who did not want to stay} rooms]_{4249-their rooms} . It was decided that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [Rodney]_176-rodney , and [Henry]_307-henry should drive to [Lincoln]_52-lincoln , and [any one else who wished to go]_{4250-any one else who wished to go} should follow on bicycles or in [the pony - cart]_{3935-the pony - cart} . [Every one who stayed at [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house}]_{4252-every one who stayed at stogdon house} had to make this expedition to [Lincoln]_52-lincoln in obedience to [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} ’s conception of the right way to entertain [[her]_{291-lady otway} guests]_{4253-her guests} , which [she]_{291-lady otway} had imbibed from reading in fashionable papers of the behavior of Christmas parties in [ducal houses]_{4254-ducal houses} . The carriage horses were both fat and aged , still they matched ; [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} was shaky and uncomfortable , but the [Otway]_{291-lady otway} arms were visible on the panels . [Lady Otway]_{291-lady otway} stood on the topmost step , wrapped in a white shawl , and waved [her]_{291-lady otway} hand almost mechanically until [they]_4256-they had turned the corner under the laurel - bushes , when [she]_{291-lady otway} retired indoors with a sense that [she]_{291-lady otway} had played [her]_{291-lady otway} part , and a sigh at the thought that [none of [[her]_{291-lady otway} children]_{4156-her children}]_{4257-none of her children} felt it necessary to play [theirs]_{4156-her children} . [The carriage]_{3928-the carriage} bowled along smoothly over [the gently curving road]_{4260-the gently curving road} . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} dropped into a pleasant , inattentive state of mind , in which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was conscious of the running green lines of the hedges , of the swelling ploughland , and of the mild blue sky , which served [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , after the first five minutes , for a pastoral background to the drama of human life ; and then [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} thought of [a cottage garden]_{4261-a cottage garden} , with the flash of yellow daffodils against blue water ; and what with the arrangement of these different prospects , and the shaping of two or three lovely phrases , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} did not notice that [the young people in the carriage]_{4262-the young people in the carriage} were almost silent . [Henry]_307-henry , indeed , had been included against [his]_307-henry wish , and revenged [himself]_307-henry by observing [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney with disillusioned eyes ; while [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was in a state of gloomy self - suppression which resulted in complete apathy . When [Rodney]_176-rodney spoke to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} either said “_{[315-andrews]} Hum ! ” or assented so listlessly that [he]_176-rodney addressed [his]_176-rodney next remark to [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mother]_{380-her mother} . [His]_176-rodney deference was agreeable to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , [his]_176-rodney manners were exemplary ; and when the church towers and [factory chimneys of [the town]_{411-the town}]_{4264-factory chimneys of the town} came into sight , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} roused [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and recalled memories of the fair summer of 1853 , which fitted in harmoniously with what [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was dreaming of the future . [But other passengers]_{4266-but other passengers} were approaching [Lincoln]_52-lincoln meanwhile by [other roads]_{4267-other roads} on foot . [A county town]_{4268-a county town} draws [the inhabitants of [all vicarages]_{4270-all vicarages} , [farms]_4271-farms , [country houses]_{4272-country houses} , and [wayside cottages]_{4273-wayside cottages}]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} , within a radius of ten miles at least , once or twice a week to [[its]_{4268-a county town} streets]_{4274-its streets} ; and among [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} , on this occasion , were [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph and [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [They]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} despised [the roads]_{4275-the roads} , and took [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} way across [the fields]_{3725-the fields} ; and yet , from [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} appearance , it did not seem as if [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} cared much where [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} walked so long as the way did not actually trip [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} up . When [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} left [the Vicarage]_{4277-the vicarage} , [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} had begun an argument which swung [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} feet along so rhythmically in time with it that [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} covered the ground at over four miles an hour , and saw nothing of the hedgerows , [the swelling plowland]_{4278-the swelling plowland} , or the mild blue sky . What [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} saw were [the Houses of Parliament]_{4279-the houses of parliament} and [the Government Offices in [Whitehall]_73-whitehall]_{4280-the government offices in whitehall} . [They]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} both belonged to the class which is conscious of having lost [its]_4281-its birthright in these great structures and is seeking to build another kind of lodging for [its]_4281-its own notion of law and government . [Purposely]_{316-purposely} , perhaps , [Mary]_175-mary did not agree with [Ralph]_154-ralph ; [she]_175-mary loved to feel [her]_175-mary mind in conflict with [his]_154-ralph , and to be certain that [he]_154-ralph spared [her]_175-mary female judgment no ounce of [his]_154-ralph male muscularity . [He]_154-ralph seemed to argue as fiercely with [her]_175-mary as if [she]_175-mary were [[his]_154-ralph brother]_{4282-his brother} . [They]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} were alike , however , in believing that it behooved [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} to take in hand the repair and reconstruction of the fabric of [England]_5-england . [They]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} agreed in thinking that nature has not been generous in the endowment of [[our]_4283-our councilors]_{4284-our councilors} . [They]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} agreed , unconsciously , in a mute love for [the muddy field]_{4285-the muddy field} through which [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} tramped , with eyes narrowed close by the concentration of [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} minds . At length [they]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} drew breath , let the argument fly away into the limbo of other good arguments , and , leaning over a gate , opened [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} eyes for the first time and looked about [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} . [Their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} feet tingled with warm blood and [their]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} breath rose in steam around [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} . The bodily exercise made [them]_{4269-the inhabitants of all vicarages , farms , country houses , and wayside cottages} both feel more direct and less self - conscious than usual , and [Mary]_175-mary , indeed , was overcome by a sort of light - headedness which made it seem to [her]_175-mary that it mattered very little what happened next . It mattered so little , indeed , that [she]_175-mary felt [herself]_175-mary on the point of saying to [Ralph]_154-ralph : “_{[315-andrews]} [I]_0-i love [you]_1833-you ; [I]_0-i shall never love [anybody else]_{1834-anybody else} . Marry [me]_0-i or leave [me]_0-i ; think what [you]_1833-you like of [me]_0-i — [I]_0-i do n’t care a straw . ” At the moment , however , speech or silence seemed immaterial , and [she]_175-mary merely clapped [her]_175-mary hands together , and looked at [the distant woods]_{4286-the distant woods} with the rust - like bloom on their brown , and the green and blue landscape through the steam of [her]_175-mary own breath . It seemed a mere toss - up whether [she]_175-mary said , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [you]_1833-you , ” or whether [she]_175-mary said , “_[1833-you] [I]_0-i love the beech - trees , ” or only “_[0-i] [I]_0-i love — [I]_0-i love . ” “_[0-i] Do [you]_1835-he know , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph suddenly interrupted [her]_175-mary , “_[1835-he] [I]_0-i ’ve made up [my]_0-i mind . ” [Her]_175-mary indifference must have been superficial , for it disappeared at once . Indeed , [she]_175-mary lost sight of the trees , and saw [her]_175-mary own hand upon the topmost bar of the gate with extreme distinctness , while [he]_154-ralph went on : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve made up [my]_0-i mind to chuck [my]_0-i work and live down here . [I]_0-i want [you]_1835-he to tell [me]_0-i about [that cottage [you]_1835-he spoke of]_{1836-that cottage you spoke of} . However , [I]_0-i suppose there ’ll be no difficulty about getting [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} , will there ? ” [He]_154-ralph spoke with an assumption of carelessness as if expecting [her]_175-mary to dissuade [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary still waited , as if for [him]_154-ralph to continue ; [she]_175-mary was convinced that in some roundabout way [he]_154-ralph approached the subject of [their]_4287-their marriage . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ca n’t stand [the office]_{3177-the office} any longer , ” [he]_154-ralph proceeded . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know what [[my]_0-i family]_{2928-my family} will say ; but [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i ’m right . Do n’t [you]_1835-he think so ? ” “_[1835-he] Live down here by [yourself]_0-i ? ” [she]_175-mary asked . “_[0-i] [Some old woman]_{1840-some old woman} would do for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i suppose , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_{[1840-some old woman]} [I]_0-i ’m sick of the whole thing , ” [he]_154-ralph went on , and opened the gate with a jerk . [They]_4288-they began to cross [the next field]_{4289-the next field} walking side by side . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i tell [you]_1835-he , [Mary]_175-mary , it ’s utter destruction , working away , day after day , at stuff that does n’t matter a damn to [any one]_{2939-any one} . [I]_0-i ’ve stood eight years of it , and [I]_0-i ’m not going to stand it any longer . [I]_0-i suppose this all seems to [you]_1835-he mad , though ? ” By this time [Mary]_175-mary had recovered [her]_175-mary self - control . “_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i thought [you]_0-i were n’t happy , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] Why did [you]_0-i think that ? ” [he]_1835-he asked , with some surprise . “_[0-i] Do n’t [you]_0-i remember that morning in [[Lincoln]_52-lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{3749-lincoln ’s inn fields} ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[0-i] Yes , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , slackening [his]_1835-he pace and remembering [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [her]_{129-katharine} engagement , the purple leaves stamped into [the path]_{3884-the path} , the white paper radiant under the electric light , and the hopelessness which seemed to surround all these things . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re right , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_1835-he said , with something of an effort , “_[0-i] though [I]_0-i do n’t know how [you]_175-mary guessed it . ” [She]_0-i was silent , hoping that [he]_1835-he might tell [her]_0-i the reason of [his]_1835-he unhappiness , for [his]_1835-he excuses had not deceived [her]_0-i . “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i was unhappy — very unhappy , ” [he]_1835-he repeated . Some six weeks separated [him]_1835-he from that afternoon when [he]_1835-he had sat upon [the Embankment]_{78-the embankment} watching [his]_1835-he visions dissolve in mist as the waters swam past and the sense of [his]_1835-he desolation still made [him]_1835-he shiver . [He]_1835-he had not recovered in the least from that depression . Here was an opportunity for making [himself]_1835-he face it , as [he]_1835-he felt that [he]_1835-he ought to ; for , by this time , no doubt , it was only a sentimental ghost , better exorcised by ruthless exposure to such an eye as [Mary]_175-mary ’s , than allowed to underlie all [his]_1835-he actions and thoughts as had been the case ever since [he]_1835-he first saw [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} pouring out tea . [He]_1835-he must begin , however , by mentioning [her]_{129-katharine} name , and this [he]_1835-he found it impossible to do . [He]_1835-he persuaded [himself]_1835-he that [he]_1835-he could make an honest statement without speaking [her]_{129-katharine} name ; [he]_1835-he persuaded [himself]_1835-he that [his]_1835-he feeling had very little to do with [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Unhappiness is a state of mind , ” [he]_1835-he said , “_[0-i] by which [I]_0-i mean that it is not necessarily the result of any particular cause . ” This rather stilted beginning did not please [him]_1835-he , and it became more and more obvious to [him]_1835-he that , whatever [he]_1835-he might say , [his]_1835-he unhappiness had been directly caused by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i began to find [my]_0-i life unsatisfactory , ” [he]_1835-he started afresh . “_[0-i] It seemed to [me]_0-i meaningless . ” [He]_1835-he paused again , but felt that this , at any rate , was true , and that on these lines [he]_1835-he could go on . “_[0-i] All this money - making and working ten hours a day in [an office]_{2994-an office} , what ’s it ? When [one]_422-one ’s [a boy]_{2993-a boy} , [you]_1846-you see , [one]_422-one ’s head is so full of dreams that it does n’t seem to matter what [one]_422-one does . And if [you]_1846-you ’re ambitious , [you]_1846-you ’re all right ; [you]_1846-you ’ve got a reason for going on . Now [my]_0-i reasons ceased to satisfy [me]_0-i . Perhaps [I]_0-i never had any . That ’s very likely now [I]_0-i come to think of it . ( What reason is there for anything , though ? ) Still , it ’s impossible , after a certain age , to take [oneself]_422-one in satisfactorily . And [I]_0-i know what carried [me]_0-i on”—for a good reason now occurred to him—“I_[0-i] wanted to be [the savior of [[my]_0-i family]_{2928-my family}]_{1849-the savior of my family} and all that kind of thing . [I]_0-i wanted [them]_{2928-my family} to get on in [the world]_{478-the world} . That was a lie , of course — a kind of self - glorification , too . Like [most people]_{3005-most people} , [I]_0-i suppose , [I]_0-i ’ve lived almost entirely among delusions , and now [I]_0-i ’m at the awkward stage of finding it out . [I]_0-i want another delusion to go on with . That ’s what [my]_0-i unhappiness amounts to , [Mary]_175-mary . ” There were two reasons that kept [Mary]_175-mary very silent during this speech , and drew curiously straight lines upon [her]_175-mary face . In the first place , [Ralph]_154-ralph made no mention of marriage ; in the second , [he]_154-ralph was not speaking the truth . “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i do n’t think it will be difficult to find [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} , ” [she]_0-i said , with cheerful hardness , ignoring the whole of this statement . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ve got a little money , have n’t [you]_0-i ? Yes , ” [she]_0-i concluded , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t see why it should n’t be a very good plan . ” [They]_4291-they crossed [the field]_{1514-the field} in complete silence . [Ralph]_154-ralph was surprised by [her]_0-i remark and a little hurt , and yet , on the whole , rather pleased . [He]_154-ralph had convinced [himself]_154-ralph that it was impossible to lay [his]_154-ralph case truthfully before [Mary]_175-mary , and , secretly , [he]_154-ralph was relieved to find that [he]_154-ralph had not parted with [his]_154-ralph dream to [her]_175-mary . [She]_175-mary was , as [he]_154-ralph had always found [her]_175-mary , [the sensible , loyal friend]_{4293-the sensible , loyal friend} , [the woman [he]_154-ralph trusted]_{4294-the woman he trusted} ; whose sympathy [he]_154-ralph could count upon , provided [he]_154-ralph kept within certain limits . [He]_154-ralph was not displeased to find that those limits were very clearly marked . When [they]_4295-they had crossed the next hedge [she]_175-mary said to [him]_154-ralph : “_[0-i] Yes , [Ralph]_154-ralph , it ’s time [you]_154-ralph made a break . [I]_0-i ’ve come to the same conclusion [myself]_0-i . Only it wo n’t be [a country cottage]_{3950-a country cottage} in [my]_0-i case ; it ’ll be [America]_75-america . [America]_75-america ! ” [she]_175-mary cried . “_[1855-they] That ’s the place for [me]_0-i ! [They]_1855-they ’ll teach [me]_0-i something about organizing a movement there , and [I]_0-i ’ll come back and show [you]_154-ralph how to do it . ” If [she]_175-mary meant consciously or unconsciously to belittle the seclusion and security of [a country cottage]_{3950-a country cottage} , [she]_175-mary did not succeed ; for [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s determination was genuine . But [she]_175-mary made [him]_154-ralph visualize [her]_175-mary in [her]_175-mary own character , so that [he]_154-ralph looked quickly at [her]_175-mary , as [she]_175-mary walked a little in front of [him]_154-ralph across [the plowed field]_{4297-the plowed field} ; for the first time that morning [he]_154-ralph saw [her]_175-mary independently of [him]_154-ralph or of [his]_154-ralph preoccupation with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [He]_154-ralph seemed to see [her]_175-mary marching ahead , [a rather clumsy but powerful and independent figure , for whose courage [he]_154-ralph felt the greatest respect]_{4298-a rather clumsy but powerful and independent figure , for whose courage he felt the greatest respect} . “_[0-i] Do n’t go away , [Mary]_175-mary ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed , and stopped . “_[175-mary] That ’s what [you]_1856-you said before , [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_175-mary returned , without looking at [him]_154-ralph . “_[154-ralph] [You]_1856-you want to go away [yourself]_1856-you and [you]_1856-you do n’t want [me]_0-i to go away . That ’s not very sensible , is it ? ” “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph cried , stung by the remembrance of [his]_154-ralph exacting and dictatorial ways with [her]_175-mary , “_[175-mary] what a brute [I]_0-i ’ve been to [you]_175-mary ! ” It took all [her]_175-mary strength to keep the tears from springing , and to thrust back [her]_175-mary assurance that [she]_175-mary would forgive [him]_154-ralph till Doomsday if [he]_154-ralph chose . [She]_175-mary was preserved from doing so only by a stubborn kind of respect for [herself]_175-mary which lay at the root of [her]_175-mary nature and forbade surrender , even in moments of almost overwhelming passion . Now , when all was tempest and high - running waves , [she]_175-mary knew of [a land where the sun shone clear upon Italian grammars and files of docketed papers]_{4299-a land where the sun shone clear upon italian grammars and files of docketed papers} . Nevertheless , from the skeleton pallor of [that land]_{4300-that land} and the rocks that broke its surface , [she]_175-mary knew that [her]_175-mary life there would be harsh and lonely almost beyond endurance . [She]_175-mary walked steadily a little in front of [him]_154-ralph across [the plowed field]_{4297-the plowed field} . [Their]_4302-their way took [them]_4302-their round the verge of a wood of thin trees standing at the edge of [a steep fold in [the land]_{3943-the land}]_{4303-a steep fold in the land} . Looking between the tree - trunks , [Ralph]_154-ralph saw laid out on the perfectly flat and richly green meadow at [the bottom of the hill]_{4305-the bottom of the hill} [a small gray manor - house]_{4306-a small gray manor - house} , with [ponds , terraces]_{4307-ponds , terraces} , and clipped hedges in front of [it]_{4306-a small gray manor - house} , [a farm building or so at the side]_{4308-a farm building or so at the side} , and a screen of fir - trees rising behind , all perfectly sheltered and self - sufficient . Behind [the house]_{377-the house} [the hill]_{3921-the hill} rose again , and the trees on the farther summit stood upright against the sky , which appeared of a more intense blue between their trunks . [His]_154-ralph mind at once was filled with a sense of the actual presence of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [the gray house]_{4311-the gray house} and the intense blue sky gave [him]_154-ralph the feeling of [her]_{129-katharine} presence close by . [He]_154-ralph leant against a tree , forming [her]_{129-katharine} name beneath [his]_154-ralph breath : “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph said aloud , and then , looking round , saw [Mary]_175-mary walking slowly away from [him]_154-ralph , tearing a long spray of ivy from the trees as [she]_175-mary passed [them]_4312-them . [She]_175-mary seemed so definitely opposed to the vision [he]_154-ralph held in [his]_154-ralph mind that [he]_154-ralph returned to it with a gesture of impatience . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated , and seemed to [himself]_154-ralph to be with [her]_{129-katharine} . [He]_154-ralph lost [his]_154-ralph sense of all that surrounded [him]_154-ralph ; all substantial things — the hour of the day , what [we]_4313-we have done and are about to do , the presence of [other people]_{2964-other people} and the support [we]_4313-we derive from seeing [their]_{2964-other people} belief in a common reality — all this slipped from [him]_154-ralph . So [he]_154-ralph might have felt if the earth had dropped from [his]_154-ralph feet , and the empty blue had hung all round [him]_154-ralph , and the air had been steeped in the presence of [one woman]_{4315-one woman} . The chirp of a robin on the bough above [his]_154-ralph head awakened [him]_154-ralph , and [his]_154-ralph awakenment was accompanied by a sigh . Here was [the world in which [he]_154-ralph had lived]_{4316-the world in which he had lived} ; here [the plowed field]_{4297-the plowed field} , [the high road yonder]_{4318-the high road yonder} , and [Mary]_175-mary , stripping ivy from the trees . When [he]_154-ralph came up with [her]_175-mary [he]_154-ralph linked [his]_154-ralph arm through [hers]_175-mary and said : “_{[129-katharine]} Now , [Mary]_175-mary , what ’s all this about [America]_75-america ? ” There was a brotherly kindness in [his]_154-ralph voice which seemed to [her]_175-mary magnanimous , when [she]_175-mary reflected that [she]_175-mary had cut short [his]_154-ralph explanations and shown little interest in [his]_154-ralph change of plan . [She]_175-mary gave [him]_154-ralph [her]_175-mary reasons for thinking that [she]_175-mary might profit by such a journey , omitting the one reason which had set all the rest in motion . [He]_154-ralph listened attentively , and made no attempt to dissuade [her]_175-mary . In truth , [he]_154-ralph found [himself]_154-ralph curiously eager to make certain of [her]_175-mary good sense , and accepted each fresh proof of it with satisfaction , as though it helped [him]_154-ralph to make up [his]_154-ralph mind about something . [She]_175-mary forgot the pain [he]_154-ralph had caused [her]_175-mary , and in place of it [she]_175-mary became conscious of a steady tide of well - being which harmonized very aptly with the tramp of [their]_4319-their feet upon [the dry road]_{4320-the dry road} and the support of [his]_154-ralph arm . The comfort was the more glowing in that it seemed to be the reward of [her]_175-mary determination to behave to [him]_154-ralph simply and without attempting to be other than [she]_175-mary was . Instead of making out an interest in the poets , [she]_175-mary avoided them instinctively , and dwelt rather insistently upon the practical nature of [her]_175-mary gifts . In a practical way [she]_175-mary asked for particulars of [[his]_154-ralph cottage]_{4321-his cottage} , which hardly existed in [his]_154-ralph mind , and corrected [his]_154-ralph vagueness . “_[175-mary] [You]_1857-you must see that there ’s water , ” [she]_175-mary insisted , with an exaggeration of interest . [She]_175-mary avoided asking [him]_154-ralph what [he]_154-ralph meant to do in [this cottage]_{4322-this cottage} , and , at last , when all the practical details had been thrashed out as much as possible , [he]_154-ralph rewarded [her]_175-mary by a more intimate statement . “_[1857-you] [One of [the rooms]_{1859-the rooms}]_{1858-one of the rooms} , ” [he]_154-ralph said , “_[1857-you] must be [[my]_0-i study]_{1860-my study} , for , [you]_1861-you see , [Mary]_175-mary , [I]_0-i ’m going to write a book . ” Here [he]_154-ralph withdrew [his]_154-ralph arm from [hers]_175-mary , lit [his]_154-ralph pipe , and [they]_4323-they tramped on in a sagacious kind of comradeship , the most complete [they]_4323-they had attained in all [their]_4323-they friendship . “_[175-mary] And what ’s [your]_0-i book to be about ? ” [she]_175-mary said , as boldly as if [she]_175-mary had never come to grief with [Ralph]_154-ralph in talking about books . [He]_154-ralph told [her]_175-mary unhesitatingly that [he]_154-ralph meant to write the history of [the English village]_{4324-the english village} from Saxon days to the present time . Some such plan had lain as a seed in [his]_154-ralph mind for many years ; and now that [he]_154-ralph had decided , in a flash , to give up [his]_154-ralph profession , the seed grew in the space of twenty minutes both tall and lusty . [He]_154-ralph was surprised [himself]_154-ralph at the positive way in which [he]_154-ralph spoke . It was the same with the question of [[his]_154-ralph cottage]_{4321-his cottage} . That had come into existence , too , in an unromantic shape — [a square white house standing just off [the high road]_{4327-the high road}]_{4326-a square white house standing just off the high road} , no doubt , with [a neighbor who kept a pig and [a dozen squalling children]_{4329-a dozen squalling children}]_{4328-a neighbor who kept a pig and a dozen squalling children} ; for these plans were shorn of all romance in [his]_154-ralph mind , and the pleasure [he]_154-ralph derived from thinking of them was checked directly it passed a very sober limit . So [a sensible man who has lost [his]_154-ralph chance of some beautiful inheritance]_{4330-a sensible man who has lost his chance of some beautiful inheritance} might tread out the narrow bounds of [his]_154-ralph actual dwelling - place , and assure [himself]_154-ralph that life is supportable within [[its]_4331-its demesne]_{4332-its demesne} , only one must grow turnips and cabbages , not melons and pomegranates . Certainly [Ralph]_154-ralph took some pride in the resources of [his]_154-ralph mind , and was insensibly helped to right [himself]_154-ralph by [Mary]_175-mary ’s trust in [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary wound [her]_175-mary ivy spray round [her]_175-mary ash - plant , and for the first time for many days , when alone with [Ralph]_154-ralph , set no spies upon [her]_175-mary motives , sayings , and feelings , but surrendered [herself]_175-mary to complete happiness . Thus talking , with easy silences and some pauses to look at the view over the hedge and to decide upon the species of a little gray - brown bird slipping among the twigs , [they]_4333-they walked into [Lincoln]_52-lincoln , and after strolling up and down [the main street]_{4334-the main street} , decided upon [an inn where the rounded window suggested substantial fare]_{4335-an inn where the rounded window suggested substantial fare} , nor were [they]_4333-they mistaken . For over a hundred and fifty years hot joints , potatoes , greens , and apple puddings had been served to [generations of [country gentlemen]_{4337-country gentlemen}]_{4336-generations of country gentlemen} , and now , sitting at a table in the hollow of the bow window , [Ralph]_154-ralph and [Mary]_175-mary took [their]_4333-they share of this perennial feast . Looking across [the joint]_{4338-the joint} , half - way through the meal , [Mary]_175-mary wondered whether [Ralph]_154-ralph would ever come to look quite like [the other people in the room]_{4339-the other people in the room} . Would [he]_154-ralph be absorbed among the round pink faces , pricked with little white bristles , the calves fitted in shiny brown leather , the black - and - white check suits , which were sprinkled about in [the same room with]_{4340-the same room with} [them]_4333-they ? [She]_175-mary half hoped so ; [she]_175-mary thought that it was only in [his]_154-ralph mind that [he]_154-ralph was different . [She]_175-mary did not wish [him]_154-ralph to be too different from [other people]_{2964-other people} . The walk had given [him]_154-ralph a ruddy color , too , and [his]_154-ralph eyes were lit up by a steady , honest light , which could not make [the simplest farmer]_{4342-the simplest farmer} feel ill at ease , or suggest to [the most devout of [clergymen]_{4344-clergymen}]_{4343-the most devout of clergymen} a disposition to sneer at [his]_154-ralph faith . [She]_175-mary loved the steep cliff of [his]_154-ralph forehead , and compared it to the brow of [a young Greek horseman]_{4345-a young greek horseman} , who reins [his]_154-ralph horse back so sharply that it half falls on its haunches . [He]_154-ralph always seemed to [her]_175-mary like [a rider on a spirited horse]_{4346-a rider on a spirited horse} . And there was an exaltation to [her]_175-mary in being with [him]_154-ralph , because there was a risk that [he]_154-ralph would not be able to keep to the right pace among [other people]_{2964-other people} . Sitting opposite [him]_154-ralph at the little table in the window , [she]_175-mary came back to that state of careless exaltation which had overcome [her]_175-mary when [they]_4348-they halted by the gate , but now it was accompanied by a sense of sanity and security , for [she]_175-mary felt that [they]_4348-they had a feeling in common which scarcely needed embodiment in words . How silent [he]_154-ralph was ! leaning [his]_154-ralph forehead on [his]_154-ralph hand , now and then , and again looking steadily and gravely at the backs of [the two men at the next table]_{4349-the two men at the next table} , with so little self - consciousness that [she]_175-mary could almost watch [his]_154-ralph mind placing one thought solidly upon the top of another ; [she]_175-mary thought that [she]_175-mary could feel [him]_154-ralph thinking , through the shade of [her]_175-mary fingers , and [she]_175-mary could anticipate the exact moment when [he]_154-ralph would put an end to [his]_154-ralph thought and turn a little in [his]_154-ralph chair and say : “_[175-mary] Well , [Mary]_175-mary — ? ” inviting [her]_175-mary to take up the thread of thought where [he]_154-ralph had dropped it . And at that very moment [he]_154-ralph turned just so , and said : “_[175-mary] Well , [Mary]_175-mary ? ” with the curious touch of diffidence which [she]_175-mary loved in [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary laughed , and [she]_175-mary explained [her]_175-mary laugh on the spur of the moment by the look of [the people in [the street below]_{4351-the street below}]_{4350-the people in the street below} . There was [a motor - car]_{3467-a motor - car} with [an old lady swathed in blue veils]_{4353-an old lady swathed in blue veils} , and [a lady]_{4354-a lady} ’s maid on the seat opposite , holding a King [Charles]_157-charles ’s spaniel ; there was [a country - woman]_{4355-a country - woman} wheeling a perambulator full of sticks down the middle of [the road]_{941-the road} ; there was [a bailiff in gaiters]_{4357-a bailiff in gaiters} discussing the state of [the cattle market]_{4358-the cattle market} with [a dissenting minister]_{4359-a dissenting minister} — so [she]_175-mary defined [them]_4360-them . [She]_175-mary ran over this list without any fear that [[her]_175-mary companion]_{3292-her companion} would think [her]_175-mary trivial . Indeed , whether it was due to the warmth of [the room]_{379-the room} or to the good roast beef , or whether [Ralph]_154-ralph had achieved the process which is called making up [one]_422-one ’s mind , certainly [he]_154-ralph had given up testing the good sense , the independent character , the intelligence shown in [her]_175-mary remarks . [He]_154-ralph had been building one of those piles of thought , as ramshackle and fantastic as [a Chinese pagoda]_{4364-a chinese pagoda} , half from words let fall by [gentlemen in gaiters]_{4365-gentlemen in gaiters} , half from the litter in [his]_154-ralph own mind , about duck shooting and legal history , about the Roman occupation of [Lincoln]_52-lincoln and the relations of [country gentlemen]_{4337-country gentlemen} with [[their]_{4337-country gentlemen} wives]_{4367-their wives} , when , from all this disconnected rambling , there suddenly formed itself in [his]_154-ralph mind the idea that [he]_154-ralph would ask [Mary]_175-mary to marry [him]_154-ralph . The idea was so spontaneous that it seemed to shape itself of its own accord before [his]_154-ralph eyes . It was then that [he]_154-ralph turned round and made use of [his]_154-ralph old , instinctive phrase : “_[175-mary] Well , [Mary]_175-mary — ? ” As it presented itself to [him]_154-ralph at first , the idea was so new and interesting that [he]_154-ralph was half inclined to address it , without more ado , to [Mary]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary . [His]_154-ralph natural instinct to divide [his]_154-ralph thoughts carefully into two different classes before [he]_154-ralph expressed them to [her]_175-mary prevailed . But as [he]_154-ralph watched [her]_175-mary looking out of the window and describing [the old lady]_{1304-the old lady} , [the woman with the perambulator]_{4369-the woman with the perambulator} , [the bailiff]_{4370-the bailiff} and [the dissenting minister]_{4371-the dissenting minister} , [his]_154-ralph eyes filled involuntarily with tears . [He]_154-ralph would have liked to lay [his]_154-ralph head on [her]_175-mary shoulder and sob , while [she]_175-mary parted [his]_154-ralph hair with [her]_175-mary fingers and soothed [him]_154-ralph and said : “_[175-mary] There , there . Do n’t cry ! Tell [me]_0-i why [you]_1862-you ’re crying — “ ; and [they]_4372-they would clasp [each other]_{451-each other} tight , and [her]_175-mary arms would hold [him]_154-ralph like [[his]_154-ralph mother]_{538-his mother} ’s . [He]_154-ralph felt that [he]_154-ralph was very lonely , and that [he]_154-ralph was afraid of [the other people in [the room]_{379-the room}]_{4339-the other people in the room} . “_[1862-you] How damnable this all is ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed abruptly . “_[1862-you] What are [you]_1862-you talking about ? ” [she]_175-mary replied , rather vaguely , still looking out of the window . [He]_154-ralph resented this divided attention more than , perhaps , [he]_154-ralph knew , and [he]_154-ralph thought how [Mary]_175-mary would soon be on [her]_175-mary way to [America]_75-america . “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph said , “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i want to talk to [you]_175-mary . Have n’t [we]_1863-we nearly done ? Why do n’t [they]_1864-they take away these plates ? ” [Mary]_175-mary felt [his]_154-ralph agitation without looking at [him]_154-ralph ; [she]_175-mary felt convinced that [she]_175-mary knew what it was that [he]_154-ralph wished to say to [her]_175-mary . “_[1864-they] [They]_1864-they ’ll come all in good time , ” [she]_175-mary said ; and felt it necessary to display [her]_175-mary extreme calmness by lifting a salt - cellar and sweeping up a little heap of bread - crumbs . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i want to apologize , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph continued , not quite knowing what [he]_154-ralph was about to say , but feeling some curious instinct which urged [him]_154-ralph to commit [himself]_154-ralph irrevocably , and to prevent the moment of intimacy from passing . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i ’ve treated [you]_175-mary very badly . That is , [I]_0-i ’ve told [you]_175-mary lies . Did [you]_175-mary guess that [I]_0-i was lying to [you]_175-mary ? Once in [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} and again to - day on [our]_1865-our walk . [I]_0-i am [a liar]_{1866-a liar} , [Mary]_175-mary . Did [you]_175-mary know that ? Do [you]_175-mary think [you]_175-mary do know [me]_0-i ? ” “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i do , ” [she]_175-mary said . At this point [the waiter]_{4377-the waiter} changed [their]_1865-our plates . “_[0-i] It ’s true [I]_0-i do n’t want [you]_175-mary to go to [America]_75-america , ” [he]_{4377-the waiter} said , looking fixedly at the table - cloth . “_[0-i] In fact , [my]_0-i feelings towards [you]_175-mary seem to be utterly and damnably bad , ” [he]_{4377-the waiter} said energetically , although forced to keep [his]_{4377-the waiter} voice low . “_[0-i] If [I]_0-i were n’t [a selfish beast]_{1867-a selfish beast} [I]_0-i should tell [you]_175-mary to have nothing more to do with [me]_0-i . And yet , [Mary]_175-mary , in spite of the fact that [I]_0-i believe what [I]_0-i ’m saying , [I]_0-i also believe that it ’s good [we]_1868-we should know [each other]_{451-each other} — [the world]_{478-the world} being what it is , [you]_175-mary see — ” and by a nod of [his]_{4377-the waiter} head [he]_{4377-the waiter} indicated [the other occupants of the room]_{4378-the other occupants of the room} , “_[175-mary] for , of course , in an ideal state of things , in a decent community even , there ’s no doubt [you]_175-mary should n’t have anything to do with [me]_0-i — seriously , that is . ” “_[175-mary] [You]_175-mary forget that [I]_0-i ’m not an ideal character , either , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , in the same low and very earnest tones , which , in spite of being almost inaudible , surrounded [their]_1868-we table with an atmosphere of concentration which was quite perceptible to [the other diners , who glanced at [them]_1868-we now and then with a queer mixture of kindness , amusement , and curiosity]_{4379-the other diners , who glanced at them now and then with a queer mixture of kindness , amusement , and curiosity} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m much more selfish than [I]_0-i let on , and [I]_0-i ’m worldly a little — more than [you]_175-mary think , anyhow . [I]_0-i like bossing things — perhaps that ’s [my]_0-i greatest fault . [I]_0-i ’ve none of [your]_175-mary passion for — ” here [she]_175-mary hesitated , and glanced at [him]_4380-him , as if to ascertain what [his]_4380-him passion was for—“for_[175-mary] the truth , ” [she]_175-mary added , as if [she]_175-mary had found what [she]_175-mary sought indisputably . “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i ’ve told [you]_175-mary [I]_0-i ’m [a liar]_{1866-a liar} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph repeated obstinately . “_{[1866-a liar]} Oh , in little things , [I]_0-i dare say , ” [she]_175-mary said impatiently . “_[0-i] But not in real ones , and that ’s what matters . [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i ’m more truthful than [you]_175-mary are in small ways . But [I]_0-i could never care”—she was surprised to find [herself]_175-mary speaking the word , and had to force [herself]_175-mary to speak it out—“for_[0-i] any one who was [a liar in that way]_{1872-a liar in that way} . [I]_0-i love the truth a certain amount — a considerable amount — but not in the way [you]_175-mary love it . ” [Her]_175-mary voice sank , became inaudible , and wavered as if [she]_175-mary could scarcely keep [herself]_175-mary from tears . “_[0-i] Good heavens ! ” [Ralph]_154-ralph exclaimed to [himself]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [She]_1873-she loves [me]_0-i ! Why did [I]_0-i never see it before ? [She]_1873-she ’s going to cry ; no , but [she]_1873-she ca n’t speak . ” The certainty overwhelmed [him]_154-ralph so that [he]_154-ralph scarcely knew what [he]_154-ralph was doing ; the blood rushed to [his]_154-ralph cheeks , and although [he]_154-ralph had quite made up [his]_154-ralph mind to ask [her]_175-mary to marry [him]_154-ralph , the certainty that [she]_175-mary loved [him]_154-ralph seemed to change the situation so completely that [he]_154-ralph could not do it . [He]_154-ralph did not dare to look at [her]_175-mary . If [she]_175-mary cried , [he]_154-ralph did not know what [he]_154-ralph should do . It seemed to [him]_154-ralph that something of a terrible and devastating nature had happened . [The waiter]_{4377-the waiter} changed [their]_4382-their plates once more . In [his]_154-ralph agitation [Ralph]_154-ralph rose , turned [his]_154-ralph back upon [Mary]_175-mary , and looked out of the window . [The people in [the street]_{397-the street}]_{4383-the people in the street} seemed to [him]_154-ralph only a dissolving and combining pattern of black particles ; which , for the moment , represented very well the involuntary procession of feelings and thoughts which formed and dissolved in rapid succession in [his]_154-ralph own mind . At one moment [he]_154-ralph exulted in the thought that [Mary]_175-mary loved [him]_154-ralph ; at the next , it seemed that [he]_154-ralph was without feeling for [her]_175-mary ; [her]_175-mary love was repulsive to [him]_154-ralph . Now [he]_154-ralph felt urged to marry [her]_175-mary at once ; now to disappear and never see [her]_175-mary again . In order to control this disorderly race of thought [he]_154-ralph forced [himself]_154-ralph to read the name on [[the chemist]_{4385-the chemist} ’s shop directly opposite [him]_154-ralph]_{4386-the chemist ’s shop directly opposite him} ; then to examine the objects in the shop windows , and then to focus [his]_154-ralph eyes exactly upon [a little group of women looking in at the great windows of [a large [draper]_4389-draper ’s shop]_{4388-a large draper ’s shop}]_{4387-a little group of women looking in at the great windows of a large draper ’s shop} . This discipline having given [him]_154-ralph at least a superficial control of [himself]_154-ralph , [he]_154-ralph was about to turn and ask [the waiter]_{4377-the waiter} to bring the bill , when [his]_154-ralph eye was caught by a tall figure walking quickly along [the opposite pavement]_{4391-the opposite pavement} — [a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} surroundings]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} . [She]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} held [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} gloves in [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} left hand , and the left hand was bare . All this [Ralph]_154-ralph noticed and enumerated and recognized before [he]_154-ralph put a name to the whole — [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} seemed to be looking for [somebody]_896-somebody . [Her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} eyes , in fact , scanned both sides of [the street]_{397-the street} , and for one second were raised directly to the bow window in which [Ralph]_154-ralph stood ; but [she]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} looked away again instantly without giving any sign that [she]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} had seen [him]_154-ralph . This sudden apparition had an extraordinary effect upon [him]_154-ralph . It was as if [he]_154-ralph had thought of [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} so intensely that [his]_154-ralph mind had formed the shape of [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} , rather than that [he]_154-ralph had seen [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} in the flesh outside in [the street]_{397-the street} . And yet [he]_154-ralph had not been thinking of [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} at all . The impression was so intense that [he]_154-ralph could not dismiss it , nor even think whether [he]_154-ralph had seen [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} or merely imagined [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} . [He]_154-ralph sat down at once , and said , briefly and strangely , rather to [himself]_154-ralph than to [Mary]_175-mary : “_[1873-she] That was [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ? What do [you]_{129-katharine} mean ? ” [she]_175-mary asked , hardly understanding from [his]_154-ralph manner whether [he]_154-ralph had seen [her]_{4392-a tall figure , upright , dark , and commanding , much detached from her surroundings} or not . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated . “_{[129-katharine]} But [she]_{129-katharine} ’s gone now . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ! ” [Mary]_175-mary thought , in an instant of blinding revelation ; “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve always known it was [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ! ” [She]_0-i knew it all now . After a moment of downcast stupor , [she]_175-mary raised [her]_175-mary eyes , looked steadily at [Ralph]_154-ralph , and caught [his]_154-ralph fixed and dreamy gaze leveled at a point far beyond [their]_4396-their surroundings , a point that [she]_175-mary had never reached in all the time that [she]_175-mary had known [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary noticed the lips just parted , the fingers loosely clenched , the whole attitude of rapt contemplation , which fell like a veil between them . [She]_175-mary noticed everything about [him]_154-ralph ; if there had been other signs of [his]_154-ralph utter alienation [she]_175-mary would have sought them out , too , for [she]_175-mary felt that it was only by heaping one truth upon another that [she]_175-mary could keep [herself]_175-mary sitting there , upright . The truth seemed to support [her]_175-mary ; it struck [her]_175-mary , even as [she]_175-mary looked at [his]_154-ralph face , that the light of truth was shining far away beyond [him]_154-ralph ; the light of truth , [she]_175-mary seemed to frame the words as [she]_175-mary rose to go , shines on a world not to be shaken by [our]_4396-their personal calamities . [Ralph]_154-ralph handed [her]_175-mary [her]_175-mary coat and [her]_175-mary stick . [She]_175-mary took them , fastened the coat securely , grasped the stick firmly . The ivy spray was still twisted about the handle ; this one sacrifice , [she]_175-mary thought , [she]_175-mary might make to sentimentality and personality , and [she]_175-mary picked two leaves from the ivy and put them in [her]_175-mary pocket before [she]_175-mary disencumbered [her]_175-mary stick of the rest of it . [She]_175-mary grasped the stick in the middle , and settled [her]_175-mary fur cap closely upon [her]_175-mary head , as if [she]_175-mary must be in trim for a long and stormy walk . Next , standing in the middle of [the road]_{941-the road} , [she]_175-mary took a slip of paper from [her]_175-mary purse , and read out loud a list of commissions entrusted to [her]_175-mary — fruit , butter , string , and so on ; and all the time [she]_175-mary never spoke directly to [Ralph]_154-ralph or looked at [him]_154-ralph . [Ralph]_154-ralph heard [her]_175-mary giving orders to [attentive , rosy - checked men in white aprons]_{4398-attentive , rosy - checked men in white aprons} , and in spite of [his]_154-ralph own preoccupation , [he]_154-ralph commented upon the determination with which [she]_175-mary made [her]_175-mary wishes known . Once more [he]_154-ralph began , automatically , to take stock of [her]_175-mary characteristics . Standing thus , superficially observant and stirring the sawdust on the floor meditatively with the toe of [his]_154-ralph boot , [he]_154-ralph was roused by a musical and familiar voice behind [him]_154-ralph , accompanied by a light touch upon [his]_154-ralph shoulder . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’m not mistaken ? Surely [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? [I]_0-i caught a glimpse of [your]_131-denham coat through the window , and [I]_0-i felt sure that [I]_0-i knew [your]_131-denham coat . Have [you]_131-denham seen [Katharine]_{129-katharine} or [William]_176-rodney ? [I]_0-i ’m wandering about [Lincoln]_52-lincoln looking for [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} . ” It was [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ; [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} entrance created some stir in [the shop]_{1617-the shop} ; [many people]_{4400-many people} looked at [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_[0-i] First of all , tell [me]_0-i where [I]_0-i am , ” [she]_0-i demanded , but , catching sight of [the attentive shopman]_{4401-the attentive shopman} , [she]_0-i appealed to [him]_{4401-the attentive shopman} . “_[0-i] [The ruins]_{1874-the ruins} — [[my]_0-i party]_{1876-my party} is waiting for [me]_0-i at [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} . [The Roman ruins]_{1878-the roman ruins} — or Greek , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? [[Your]_131-denham town]_{1879-your town} has a great many beautiful things in [it]_{1879-your town} , but [I]_0-i wish [it]_{1879-your town} had n’t so many ruins . [I]_0-i never saw such delightful little pots of honey in [my]_0-i life — are they made by [your]_131-denham own bees ? Please give [me]_0-i one of those little pots , and tell [me]_0-i how [I]_0-i shall find [my]_0-i way to [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} . ” “_[0-i] And now , ” [she]_0-i continued , having received the information and the pot of honey , having been introduced to [Mary]_175-mary , and having insisted that [they]_4402-they should accompany [her]_0-i back to [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} , since in [a town with so many turnings]_{4404-a town with so many turnings} , such prospects , [such delightful little half - naked boys]_{4405-such delightful little half - naked boys} dabbling in [pools]_4406-pools , such Venetian canals , such old blue china in [the curiosity shops]_{4407-the curiosity shops} , it was impossible for [one person all alone]_{4408-one person all alone} to find [her]_0-i way to [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} . “_[0-i] Now , ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , “_[0-i] please tell [me]_0-i what [you]_131-denham ’re doing [here]_2985-here , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham — for [you]_131-denham [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , are n’t [you]_131-denham ? ” [she]_0-i inquired , gazing at [him]_131-denham with a sudden suspicion of [her]_0-i own accuracy . “_[131-denham] [The brilliant young man who writes for the Review]_{1882-the brilliant young man who writes for the review} , [I]_0-i mean ? Only yesterday [[my]_0-i husband]_{1883-my husband} was telling [me]_0-i [he]_{1883-my husband} thought [you]_131-denham [one of [the cleverest young men]_{1885-the cleverest young men} [he]_{1883-my husband} knew]_{1884-one of the cleverest young men he knew} . Certainly , [you]_131-denham ’ve been [the messenger of [Providence]_{273-providence} to [me]_0-i]_{1886-the messenger of providence to me} , for unless [I]_0-i ’d seen [you]_131-denham [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i should never have found [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} at all . ” [They]_4410-they had reached [the Roman arch]_{4411-the roman arch} when [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} caught sight of [[her]_0-i own party]_{4412-her own party} , standing like sentinels facing up and down [the road]_{941-the road} so as to intercept [her]_0-i if , as [they]_4410-they expected , [she]_0-i had got lodged in [some shop]_{4414-some shop} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve found something much better than ruins ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve found [two friends who told [me]_0-i how to find [you]_131-denham , which [I]_0-i could never have done without [them]_{1888-two friends who told me how to find you , which i could never have done without them}]_{1888-two friends who told me how to find you , which i could never have done without them} . [They]_{1888-two friends who told me how to find you , which i could never have done without them} must come and have tea with [us]_1889-us . What a pity that [we]_1889-us ’ve just had luncheon . ” Could [they]_4410-they not somehow revoke that meal ? [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who had gone a few steps by [herself]_{129-katharine} down [the road]_{941-the road} , and was investigating the window of [an ironmonger]_{4416-an ironmonger} , as if [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} might have got [herself]_{129-katharine} concealed among mowing - machines and garden - shears , turned sharply on hearing [her]_{129-katharine} voice , and came towards [them]_4410-they . [She]_{129-katharine} was a great deal surprised to see [Denham]_131-denham and [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . Whether the cordiality with which [she]_{129-katharine} greeted [them]_4410-they was merely that which is natural to a surprise meeting in [the country]_{761-the country} , or whether [she]_{129-katharine} was really glad to see [them]_4410-they both , at any rate [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed with unusual pleasure as [she]_{129-katharine} shook hands : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i never knew [you]_1890-you lived [here]_2985-here . Why did n’t [you]_1890-you say so , and [we]_1892-we could have met ? And are [you]_1890-you staying with [Mary]_175-mary ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} continued , turning to [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[175-mary] What a pity [we]_1892-we did n’t meet before . ” Thus confronted at a distance of only a few feet by the real body of [the woman about whom [he]_154-ralph had dreamt so many million dreams]_{4419-the woman about whom he had dreamt so many million dreams} , [Ralph]_154-ralph stammered ; [he]_154-ralph made a clutch at [his]_154-ralph self - control ; the color either came to [his]_154-ralph cheeks or left them , [he]_154-ralph knew not which ; but [he]_154-ralph was determined to face [her]_{129-katharine} and track down in the cold light of day whatever vestige of truth there might be in [his]_154-ralph persistent imaginations . [He]_154-ralph did not succeed in saying anything . It was [Mary]_175-mary who spoke for [both of [them]_{875-both of them}]_{875-both of them} . [He]_154-ralph was struck dumb by finding that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was quite different , in some strange way , from [his]_154-ralph memory , so that [he]_154-ralph had to dismiss [his]_154-ralph old view in order to accept the new one . The wind was blowing [her]_{129-katharine} crimson scarf across [her]_{129-katharine} face ; the wind had already loosened [her]_{129-katharine} hair , which looped across the corner of one of the large , dark eyes which , so [he]_154-ralph used to think , looked sad ; now they looked bright with the brightness of [the sea]_{829-the sea} struck by an unclouded ray ; everything about [her]_{129-katharine} seemed rapid , fragmentary , and full of a kind of racing speed . [He]_154-ralph realized suddenly that [he]_154-ralph had never seen [her]_{129-katharine} in the daylight before . Meanwhile , it was decided that it was too late to go in search of ruins as [they]_{875-both of them} had intended ; and [the whole party]_{893-the whole party} began to walk towards [the stables]_{4423-the stables} where [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} had been put up . “_[175-mary] Do [you]_1893-you know , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , keeping slightly in advance of the rest with [Ralph]_154-ralph , “_[1893-you] [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i saw [you]_1893-you this morning , standing at a window . But [I]_0-i decided that it could n’t be [you]_1893-you . And it must have been [you]_1893-you all the same . ” “_[1893-you] Yes , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i saw [you]_0-i — but it was n’t [you]_0-i , ” [he]_1893-you replied . This remark , and the rough strain in [his]_1893-you voice , recalled to [her]_0-i memory so many difficult speeches and abortive meetings that [she]_0-i was jerked directly back to [the London drawing - room]_{4425-the london drawing - room} , [the family relics]_{4426-the family relics} , and the tea - table ; and at the same time recalled some half - finished or interrupted remark which [she]_0-i had wanted to make [herself]_0-i or to hear from [him]_1893-you — [she]_0-i could not remember what it was . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i expect it was [me]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was looking for [[my]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} . It happens every time [we]_1895-we come to [Lincoln]_52-lincoln . In fact , there never was [a family]_{569-a family} so unable to take care of [itself]_{569-a family} as [ours]_1895-we is . Not that it very much matters , because [some one]_{376-some one} always turns up in the nick of time to help [us]_1895-we out of [our]_1895-we scrapes . Once [I]_0-i was left in [a field]_{1580-a field} with a bull when [I]_0-i was [a baby]_{1899-a baby} — but where did [we]_1895-we leave [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} ? Down [that street]_{1901-that street} or the next ? The next , [I]_0-i think . ” [She]_0-i glanced back and saw that [the others]_{1091-the others} were following obediently , listening to certain memories of [Lincoln]_52-lincoln upon which [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had started . “_[0-i] But what are [you]_0-i doing [here]_2985-here ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m buying [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} . [I]_0-i ’m going to live [here]_2985-here — as soon as [I]_0-i can find [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} , and [Mary]_175-mary tells [me]_0-i there ’ll be no difficulty about that . ” “_[175-mary] But , ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , almost standing still in [her]_0-i surprise , “_[0-i] [you]_0-i will give up [the Bar]_{3870-the bar} , then ? ” It flashed across [her]_0-i mind that [he]_4428-he must already be engaged to [Mary]_175-mary . “_[0-i] [[The solicitor]_{1907-the solicitor} ’s office]_{1908-the solicitor ’s office} ? Yes . [I]_0-i ’m giving that up . ” “_[0-i] But why ? ” [she]_0-i asked . [She]_0-i answered [herself]_0-i at once , with a curious change from rapid speech to an almost melancholy tone . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i ’re very wise to give it up . [You]_0-i will be much happier . ” At this very moment , when [her]_0-i words seemed to be striking a path into the future for [him]_4428-he , [they]_4429-they stepped into [the yard of [an inn]_{4431-an inn}]_{4430-the yard of an inn} , and there beheld [the family coach of [the Otways]_{4433-the otways}]_{4432-the family coach of the otways} , to which one sleek horse was already attached , while [the second]_{4434-the second} was being led out of [the stable]_{4435-the stable} door by [the hostler]_{4436-the hostler} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know what one means by happiness , ” [he]_4428-he said briefly , having to step aside in order to avoid [a groom with a bucket]_{4437-a groom with a bucket} . “_[0-i] Why do [you]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall be happy ? [I]_0-i do n’t expect to be anything of the kind . [I]_0-i expect to be rather less unhappy . [I]_0-i shall write a book and curse [[my]_0-i charwoman]_{1909-my charwoman} — if happiness consists in that . What do [you]_0-i think ? ” [She]_0-i could not answer because [they]_4438-they were immediately surrounded by [other members of the party]_{4439-other members of the party} — by [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and [Mary]_175-mary , [Henry Otway]_307-henry , and [William]_176-rodney . [Rodney]_176-rodney went up to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} immediately and said to [her]_0-i : “_[0-i] [Henry]_307-henry is going to drive [home]_2992-home with [[your]_0-i mother]_{3081-your mother} , and [I]_0-i suggest that [they]_1912-they should put [us]_1913-us down half - way and let [us]_1913-us walk back . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} nodded [her]_{129-katharine} head . [She]_{129-katharine} glanced at [him]_176-rodney with an oddly furtive expression . “_[1912-they] Unfortunately [we]_1913-us go in opposite directions , or [we]_1913-us might have given [you]_0-i a lift , ” [he]_176-rodney continued to [Denham]_154-ralph . [His]_176-rodney manner was unusually peremptory ; [he]_176-rodney seemed anxious to hasten the departure , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_176-rodney from time to time , as [Denham]_154-ralph noticed , with an expression half of inquiry , half of annoyance . [She]_{129-katharine} at once helped [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} into [her]_{129-katharine} cloak , and said to [Mary]_175-mary : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i want to see [you]_1914-you . Are [you]_1914-you going back to [London]_2-london at once ? [I]_0-i will write . ” [She]_{129-katharine} half smiled at [Ralph]_154-ralph , but [her]_{129-katharine} look was a little overcast by something [she]_{129-katharine} was thinking , and in a very few minutes [the Otway carriage]_{4441-the otway carriage} rolled out of [the stable yard]_{4442-the stable yard} and turned down [the high road leading to [the village of Lampsher]_{4444-the village of lampsher}]_{4443-the high road leading to the village of lampsher} . [The return drive]_{4445-the return drive} was almost as silent as the drive from [home]_2992-home had been in the morning ; indeed , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} leant back with closed eyes in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} corner , and either slept or feigned sleep , as [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} habit was in the intervals between the seasons of active exertion , or continued the story which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had begun to tell [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} that morning . About two miles from [Lampsher]_{4447-lampsher} [the road]_{941-the road} ran over [the rounded summit of [the heath]_{4450-the heath}]_{4449-the rounded summit of the heath} , a lonely spot marked by [an obelisk of granite]_{4451-an obelisk of granite} , setting forth the gratitude of [some great lady of the eighteenth century]_{4452-some great lady of the eighteenth century} who had been set upon by [highwaymen]_{4453-highwaymen} at [this spot]_{4454-this spot} and delivered from death just as hope seemed lost . In summer [it]_{4450-the heath} was [a pleasant place]_{4455-a pleasant place} , for [the deep woods on either side]_{4456-the deep woods on either side} murmured , and the heather , which grew thick round the granite pedestal , made the light breeze taste sweetly ; in winter the sighing of the trees was deepened to a hollow sound , and [the heath]_{4450-the heath} was as gray and almost as solitary as the empty sweep of the clouds above [it]_{4450-the heath} . Here [Rodney]_176-rodney stopped [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} and helped [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to alight . [Henry]_307-henry , too , gave [her]_{129-katharine} [his]_307-henry hand , and fancied that [she]_{129-katharine} pressed it very slightly in parting as if [she]_{129-katharine} sent [him]_307-henry a message . But [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} rolled on immediately , without wakening [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and left [the couple]_{4460-the couple} standing by the obelisk . That [Rodney]_176-rodney was angry with [her]_{129-katharine} and had made this opportunity for speaking to [her]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} knew very well ; [she]_{129-katharine} was neither glad nor sorry that the time had come , nor , indeed , knew what to expect , and thus remained silent . [The carriage]_{3928-the carriage} grew smaller and smaller upon [the dusky road]_{4462-the dusky road} , and still [Rodney]_176-rodney did not speak . Perhaps , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , [he]_176-rodney waited until the last sign of [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} had disappeared beneath the curve of [the road]_{941-the road} and [they]_{4460-the couple} were left entirely alone . To cloak [their]_{4460-the couple} silence [she]_{129-katharine} read the writing on the obelisk , to do which [she]_{129-katharine} had to walk completely round [it]_4465-it . [She]_{129-katharine} was murmuring a word to two of [the pious lady]_{4466-the pious lady} ’s thanks above [her]_{129-katharine} breath when [Rodney]_176-rodney joined [her]_{129-katharine} . In silence [they]_{4460-the couple} set out along [the cart - track which skirted the verge of the trees]_{4467-the cart - track which skirted the verge of the trees} . To break the silence was exactly what [Rodney]_176-rodney wished to do , and yet could not do to [his]_176-rodney own satisfaction . In company it was far easier to approach [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; alone with [her]_{129-katharine} , the aloofness and force of [her]_{129-katharine} character checked all [his]_176-rodney natural methods of attack . [He]_176-rodney believed that [she]_{129-katharine} had behaved very badly to [him]_176-rodney , but each separate instance of unkindness seemed too petty to be advanced when [they]_{4460-the couple} were alone together . “_[0-i] There ’s no need for [us]_1915-us to race , ” [he]_176-rodney complained at last ; upon which [she]_{129-katharine} immediately slackened [her]_{129-katharine} pace , and walked too slowly to suit [him]_176-rodney . In desperation [he]_176-rodney said the first thing [he]_176-rodney thought of , very peevishly and without the dignified prelude which [he]_176-rodney had intended . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve not enjoyed [my]_0-i holiday . ” “_[0-i] No ? ” “_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i shall be glad to get back to work again . ” “_[0-i] Saturday , Sunday , Monday — there are only three days more , ” [she]_{129-katharine} counted . “_[0-i] [No one]_{2921-no one} enjoys being made a fool of before [other people]_{2964-other people} , ” [he]_176-rodney blurted out , for [his]_176-rodney irritation rose as [she]_{129-katharine} spoke , and got the better of [his]_176-rodney awe of [her]_{129-katharine} , and was inflamed by that awe . “_{[2964-other people]} That refers to [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i suppose , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said calmly . “_{[2964-other people]} Every day since [we]_1918-we ’ve been [here]_2985-here [you]_0-i ’ve done something to make [me]_0-i appear ridiculous , ” [he]_176-rodney went on . “_[0-i] Of course , so long as it amuses [you]_0-i , [you]_0-i ’re welcome ; but [we]_1918-we have to remember that [we]_1918-we are going to spend [our]_1918-we lives together . [I]_0-i asked [you]_0-i , only this morning , for example , to come out and take a turn with [me]_0-i in [the garden]_{3362-the garden} . [I]_0-i was waiting for [you]_0-i ten minutes , and [you]_0-i never came . [Every one]_{3109-every one} saw [me]_0-i waiting . [The stable - boys]_{1922-the stable - boys} saw [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i was so ashamed that [I]_0-i went in . Then , on the drive [you]_0-i hardly spoke to [me]_0-i . [Henry]_307-henry noticed it . [Every one]_{3109-every one} notices it .... [You]_0-i find no difficulty in talking to [Henry]_307-henry , though . ” [She]_0-i noted these various complaints and determined philosophically to answer none of them , although the last stung [her]_0-i to considerable irritation . [She]_0-i wished to find out how deep [his]_307-henry grievance lay . “_[0-i] None of these things seem to [me]_0-i to matter , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] Very well , then . [I]_0-i may as well hold [my]_0-i tongue , ” [he]_307-henry replied . “_[0-i] In [themselves]_1924-they [they]_1924-they do n’t seem to [me]_0-i to matter ; if [they]_1924-they hurt [you]_0-i , of course they matter , ” [she]_0-i corrected [herself]_0-i scrupulously . [Her]_0-i tone of consideration touched [him]_307-henry , and [he]_307-henry walked on in silence for a space . “_[0-i] And [we]_1925-we might be so happy , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [he]_307-henry exclaimed impulsively , and drew [her]_0-i arm through [his]_307-henry . [She]_0-i withdrew it directly . “_{[129-katharine]} As long as [you]_0-i let [yourself]_0-i feel like this [we]_1925-we shall never be happy , ” [she]_0-i said . The harshness , which [Henry]_307-henry had noticed , was again unmistakable in [her]_0-i manner . [William]_176-rodney flinched and was silent . Such severity , accompanied by something indescribably cold and impersonal in [her]_0-i manner , had constantly been meted out to [him]_176-rodney during the last few days , always in the company of [others]_1056-others . [He]_176-rodney had recouped [himself]_176-rodney by some ridiculous display of vanity which , as [he]_176-rodney knew , put [him]_176-rodney still more at [her]_0-i mercy . Now that [he]_176-rodney was alone with [her]_0-i there was no stimulus from outside to draw [his]_176-rodney attention from [his]_176-rodney injury . By a considerable effort of self - control [he]_176-rodney forced [himself]_176-rodney to remain silent , and to make [himself]_176-rodney distinguish what part of [his]_176-rodney pain was due to vanity , what part to the certainty that [no woman]_{4469-no woman} really loving [him]_176-rodney could speak thus . “_[0-i] What do [I]_0-i feel about [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [he]_176-rodney thought to [himself]_176-rodney . It was clear that [she]_0-i had been a very desirable and distinguished figure , [the mistress of [[her]_0-i little section of [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4471-her little section of the world}]_{4470-the mistress of her little section of the world} ; but more than that , [she]_0-i was [the person of all others who seemed to [him]_176-rodney [the arbitress of life]_{4474-the arbitress of life} , [the woman whose judgment was naturally right and steady]_{4475-the woman whose judgment was naturally right and steady} , as [his]_176-rodney had never been in spite of all [his]_176-rodney culture]_{4473-the person of all others who seemed to him the arbitress of life , the woman whose judgment was naturally right and steady , as his had never been in spite of all his culture} . And then [he]_176-rodney could not see [her]_0-i come into [a room]_{4476-a room} without a sense of the flowing of robes , of the flowering of blossoms , of the purple waves of [the sea]_{829-the sea} , of all things that are lovely and mutable on the surface but still and passionate in [their]_4478-their heart . “_{[129-katharine]} If [she]_{129-katharine} were callous all the time and had only led [me]_0-i on to laugh at [me]_0-i [I]_0-i could n’t have felt that about [her]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney thought . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not [a fool]_{3573-a fool} , after all . [I]_0-i ca n’t have been utterly mistaken all these years . And yet , when [she]_{129-katharine} speaks to [me]_0-i like that ! The truth of it is , ” [he]_176-rodney thought , “_{[129-katharine]} that [I]_0-i ’ve got such despicable faults that [no one]_{2921-no one} could help speaking to [me]_0-i like that . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is quite right . And yet those are not [my]_0-i serious feelings , as [she]_{129-katharine} knows quite well . How can [I]_0-i change [myself]_0-i ? What would make [her]_{129-katharine} care for [me]_0-i ? ” [He]_176-rodney was terribly tempted here to break the silence by asking [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in what respects [he]_176-rodney could change [himself]_176-rodney to suit [her]_{129-katharine} ; but [he]_176-rodney sought consolation instead by running over the list of [his]_176-rodney gifts and acquirements , [his]_176-rodney knowledge of Greek and Latin , [his]_176-rodney knowledge of art and literature , [his]_176-rodney skill in the management of meters , and [his]_176-rodney ancient west - country blood . But the feeling that underlay all these feelings and puzzled [him]_176-rodney profoundly and kept [him]_176-rodney silent was the certainty that [he]_176-rodney loved [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as sincerely as [he]_176-rodney had it in [him]_176-rodney to love [any one]_{2939-any one} . And yet [she]_{129-katharine} could speak to [him]_176-rodney like that ! In a sort of bewilderment [he]_176-rodney lost all desire to speak , and would quite readily have taken up some different topic of conversation if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had started one . This , however , [she]_{129-katharine} did not do . [He]_176-rodney glanced at [her]_{129-katharine} , in case [her]_{129-katharine} expression might help [him]_176-rodney to understand [her]_{129-katharine} behavior . As usual , [she]_{129-katharine} had quickened [her]_{129-katharine} pace unconsciously , and was now walking a little in front of [him]_176-rodney ; but [he]_176-rodney could gain little information from [her]_{129-katharine} eyes , which looked steadily at the brown heather , or from the lines drawn seriously upon [her]_{129-katharine} forehead . Thus to lose touch with [her]_{129-katharine} , for [he]_176-rodney had no idea what [she]_{129-katharine} was thinking , was so unpleasant to [him]_176-rodney that [he]_176-rodney began to talk about [his]_176-rodney grievances again , without , however , much conviction in [his]_176-rodney voice . “_{[129-katharine]} If [you]_1928-her have no feeling for [me]_0-i , would n’t it be kinder to say so to [me]_0-i in private ? ” “_[1928-her] Oh , [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{129-katharine} burst out , as if [he]_176-rodney had interrupted some absorbing train of thought , “_[1928-her] how [you]_176-rodney go on about feelings ! Is n’t it better not to talk so much , not to be worrying always about small things that do n’t really matter ? ” “_[1928-her] That ’s the question precisely , ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_[1928-her] [I]_0-i only want [you]_1928-her to tell [me]_0-i that [they]_1929-they do n’t matter . There are times when [you]_1928-her seem indifferent to everything . [I]_0-i ’m vain , [I]_0-i ’ve a thousand faults ; but [you]_1928-her know they ’re not everything ; [you]_1928-her know [I]_0-i care for [you]_1928-her . ” “_[0-i] And if [I]_0-i say that [I]_0-i care for [you]_1928-her , do n’t [you]_1928-her believe [me]_0-i ? ” “_[1928-her] Say it , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! Say it as if [you]_1928-her meant it ! Make [me]_0-i feel that [you]_1928-her care for [me]_0-i ! ” [She]_1928-her could not force [herself]_1928-her to speak a word . The heather was growing dim around [them]_4480-them , and the horizon was blotted out by white mist . To ask [her]_1928-her for passion or for certainty seemed like asking that damp prospect for fierce blades of fire , or the faded sky for the intense blue vault of [June]_317-june . [He]_1928-her went on now to tell [her]_1928-her of [his]_1928-her love for [her]_1928-her , in words which bore , even to [her]_1928-her critical senses , the stamp of truth ; but none of this touched [her]_1928-her , until , coming to a gate whose hinge was rusty , [he]_1928-her heaved [it]_4481-it open with [his]_1928-her shoulder , still talking and taking no account of [his]_1928-her effort . The virility of this deed impressed [her]_1928-her ; and yet , normally , [she]_1928-her attached no value to the power of opening gates . The strength of muscles has nothing to do on the face of it with the strength of affections ; nevertheless , [she]_1928-her felt a sudden concern for this power running to waste on [her]_1928-her account , which , combined with a desire to keep possession of that strangely attractive masculine power , made [her]_1928-her rouse [herself]_1928-her from [her]_1928-her torpor . Why should [she]_1928-her not simply tell [him]_1928-her the truth — which was that [she]_1928-her had accepted [him]_1928-her in a misty state of mind when nothing had its right shape or size ? that it was deplorable , but that with clearer eyesight marriage was out of the question ? [She]_1928-her did not want to marry [any one]_{2939-any one} . [She]_1928-her wanted to go away by [herself]_1928-her , preferably to [some bleak northern moor]_{4483-some bleak northern moor} , and there study mathematics and the science of astronomy . Twenty words would explain the whole situation to [him]_1928-her . [He]_1928-her had ceased to speak ; [he]_1928-her had told [her]_1928-her once more how [he]_1928-her loved [her]_1928-her and why . [She]_1928-her summoned [her]_1928-her courage , fixed [her]_1928-her eyes upon a lightning - splintered ash - tree , and , almost as if [she]_1928-her were reading a writing fixed to the trunk , began : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was wrong to get engaged to [you]_1930-you . [I]_0-i shall never make [you]_1930-you happy . [I]_0-i have never loved [you]_1930-you . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [he]_1928-her protested . “_{[129-katharine]} No , never , ” [she]_1928-her repeated obstinately . “_{[129-katharine]} Not rightly . Do n’t [you]_1930-you see , [I]_0-i did n’t know what [I]_0-i was doing ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} love [some one else]_{1931-some one else} ? ” [he]_1928-her cut [her]_1928-her short . “_{[2921-no one]} Absolutely [no one]_{2921-no one} . ” “_[307-henry] [Henry]_307-henry ? ” [he]_1928-her demanded . “_[307-henry] [Henry]_307-henry ? [I]_0-i should have thought , [William]_176-rodney , even [you]_1930-you — ” “_[1930-you] There is [some one]_{376-some one} , ” [he]_1928-her persisted . “_{[376-some one]} There has been a change in the last few weeks . [You]_{129-katharine} owe it to [me]_0-i to be honest , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} If [I]_0-i could , [I]_0-i would , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] Why did [you]_{129-katharine} tell [me]_0-i [you]_{129-katharine} would marry [me]_0-i , then ? ” [he]_1928-her demanded . Why , indeed ? A moment of pessimism , a sudden conviction of the undeniable prose of life , a lapse of the illusion which sustains youth midway between heaven and [earth]_736-earth , a desperate attempt to reconcile [herself]_{129-katharine} with facts — [she]_{129-katharine} could only recall a moment , as of waking from a dream , which now seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} a moment of surrender . But who could give reasons such as these for doing what [she]_{129-katharine} had done ? [She]_{129-katharine} shook [her]_{129-katharine} head very sadly . “_{[129-katharine]} But [you]_{129-katharine} ’re not [a child]_{541-a child} — [you’re]_{129-katharine} not [a woman of moods]_{1935-a woman of moods} , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney persisted . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} could n’t have accepted [me]_0-i if [you]_{129-katharine} had n’t loved [me]_0-i ! ” [he]_1928-her cried . A sense of [her]_{129-katharine} own misbehavior , which [she]_{129-katharine} had succeeded in keeping from [her]_{129-katharine} by sharpening [her]_{129-katharine} consciousness of [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s faults , now swept over [her]_{129-katharine} and almost overwhelmed [her]_{129-katharine} . What were [his]_1928-her faults in comparison with the fact that [he]_1928-her cared for [her]_{129-katharine} ? What were [her]_{129-katharine} virtues in comparison with the fact that [she]_{129-katharine} did not care for [him]_1928-her ? In a flash the conviction that not to care is the uttermost sin of all stamped itself upon [her]_{129-katharine} inmost thought ; and [she]_{129-katharine} felt [herself]_{129-katharine} branded for ever . [He]_1928-her had taken [her]_{129-katharine} arm , and held [her]_{129-katharine} hand firmly in [his]_1928-her , nor had [she]_{129-katharine} the force to resist what now seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} [his]_1928-her enormously superior strength . Very well ; [she]_{129-katharine} would submit , as [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} and [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} and most women , perhaps , had submitted ; and yet [she]_{129-katharine} knew that every second of such submission to [his]_1928-her strength was a second of treachery to [him]_1928-her . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did say [I]_0-i would marry [you]_1936-you , but it was wrong , ” [she]_{129-katharine} forced [herself]_{129-katharine} to say , and [she]_{129-katharine} stiffened [her]_{129-katharine} arm as if to annul even the seeming submission of that separate part of [her]_{129-katharine} ; “_[0-i] for [I]_0-i do n’t love [you]_1936-you , [William]_176-rodney ; [you]_1936-you ’ve noticed it , [every one]_{3109-every one} ’s noticed it ; why should [we]_1938-we go on pretending ? When [I]_0-i told [you]_1936-you [I]_0-i loved [you]_1936-you , [I]_0-i was wrong . [I]_0-i said what [I]_0-i knew to be untrue . ” As none of [her]_{129-katharine} words seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} at all adequate to represent what [she]_{129-katharine} felt , [she]_{129-katharine} repeated them , and emphasized them without realizing the effect that they might have upon [a man who cared for [her]_{129-katharine}]_{4487-a man who cared for her} . [She]_{129-katharine} was completely taken aback by finding [her]_{129-katharine} arm suddenly dropped ; then [she]_{129-katharine} saw [his]_176-rodney face most strangely contorted ; was [he]_176-rodney laughing , it flashed across [her]_{129-katharine} ? In another moment [she]_{129-katharine} saw that [he]_176-rodney was in tears . In [her]_{129-katharine} bewilderment at this apparition [she]_{129-katharine} stood aghast for a second . With a desperate sense that this horror must , at all costs , be stopped , [she]_{129-katharine} then put [her]_{129-katharine} arms about [him]_176-rodney , drew [his]_176-rodney head for a moment upon [her]_{129-katharine} shoulder , and led [him]_176-rodney on , murmuring words of consolation , until [he]_176-rodney heaved a great sigh . [They]_4488-they held fast to [each other]_{451-each other} ; [her]_{129-katharine} tears , too , ran down [her]_{129-katharine} cheeks ; and were both quite silent . Noticing the difficulty with which [he]_176-rodney walked , and feeling the same extreme lassitude in [her]_{129-katharine} own limbs , [she]_{129-katharine} proposed that [they]_4488-they should rest for a moment where the bracken was brown and shriveled beneath an oak - tree . [He]_176-rodney assented . Once more [he]_176-rodney gave a great sigh , and wiped [his]_176-rodney eyes with a childlike unconsciousness , and began to speak without a trace of [his]_176-rodney previous anger . The idea came to [her]_{129-katharine} that [they]_4488-they were like [the children in the fairy tale who were lost in a wood]_{4490-the children in the fairy tale who were lost in a wood} , and with this in [her]_{129-katharine} mind [she]_{129-katharine} noticed the scattering of dead leaves all round them which had been blown by the wind into heaps , a foot or two deep , here and there . “_[0-i] When did [you]_1939-you begin to feel this , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [he]_176-rodney said ; “_{[129-katharine]} for it is n’t true to say that [you]_1939-you ’ve always felt it . [I]_0-i admit [I]_0-i was unreasonable the first night when [you]_1939-you found that [your]_1939-you clothes had been left behind . Still , where ’s the fault in that ? [I]_0-i could promise [you]_1939-you never to interfere with [your]_1939-you clothes again . [I]_0-i admit [I]_0-i was cross when [I]_0-i found [you]_1939-you [upstairs]_523-upstairs with [Henry]_307-henry . Perhaps [I]_0-i showed it too openly . But that ’s not unreasonable either when [one]_422-one ’s engaged . Ask [[your]_1939-you mother]_{3081-your mother} . And now this terrible thing — ” [He]_307-henry broke off , unable for the moment to proceed any further . “_[1939-you] This decision [you]_1939-you say [you]_1939-you ’ve come to — have [you]_1939-you discussed it with [any one]_{2939-any one} ? [[Your]_1939-you mother]_{3081-your mother} , for example , or [Henry]_307-henry ? ” “_[0-i] No , no , of course not , ” [she]_0-i said , stirring the leaves with [her]_0-i hand . “_[0-i] But [you]_0-i do n’t understand [me]_0-i , [William]_176-rodney — ” “_[0-i] Help [me]_0-i to understand [you]_0-i — ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t understand , [I]_0-i mean , [my]_0-i real feelings ; how could [you]_0-i ? [I]_0-i ’ve only now faced them [myself]_0-i . But [I]_0-i have n’t got the sort of feeling — love , [I]_0-i mean — [I]_0-i do n’t know what to call it”—she looked vaguely towards the horizon sunk under mist—“but_[0-i] , anyhow , without it [our]_1945-our marriage would be a farce — ” “_[0-i] How a farce ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked . “_[0-i] But this kind of analysis is disastrous ! ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should have done it before , ” [she]_0-i said gloomily . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i make [yourself]_0-i think things [you]_0-i do n’t think , ” [he]_176-rodney continued , becoming demonstrative with [his]_176-rodney hands , as [his]_176-rodney manner was . “_[0-i] Believe [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , before [we]_1945-our came [here]_2985-here [we]_1945-our were perfectly happy . [You]_0-i were full of plans for [[our]_1945-our house]_{3543-our house} — the chair - covers , do n’t [you]_0-i remember?—like [any other woman who is about to be married]_{1948-any other woman who is about to be married} . Now , for no reason whatever , [you]_0-i begin to fret about [your]_0-i feeling and about [my]_0-i feeling , with the usual result . [I]_0-i assure [you]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_0-i ’ve been through it all [myself]_0-i . At one time [I]_0-i was always asking [myself]_0-i absurd questions which came to nothing either . What [you]_0-i want , if [I]_0-i may say so , is some occupation to take [you]_0-i out of [yourself]_0-i when this morbid mood comes on . If it had n’t been for [my]_0-i poetry , [I]_0-i assure [you]_0-i , [I]_0-i should often have been very much in the same state [myself]_0-i . To let [you]_0-i into a secret , ” [he]_154-ralph continued , with [his]_154-ralph little chuckle , which now sounded almost assured , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve often gone [home]_2992-home from seeing [you]_0-i in such a state of nerves that [I]_0-i had to force [myself]_0-i to write a page or two before [I]_0-i could get [you]_0-i out of [my]_0-i head . Ask [Denham]_154-ralph ; [he]_154-ralph ’ll tell [you]_0-i how [he]_154-ralph met [me]_0-i one night ; [he]_154-ralph ’ll tell [you]_0-i what a state [he]_154-ralph found [me]_0-i in . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} started with displeasure at the mention of [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s name . The thought of the conversation in which [her]_{129-katharine} conduct had been made a subject for discussion with [Denham]_154-ralph roused [her]_{129-katharine} anger ; but , as [she]_{129-katharine} instantly felt , [she]_{129-katharine} had scarcely the right to grudge [William]_176-rodney any use of [her]_{129-katharine} name , seeing what [her]_{129-katharine} fault against [him]_176-rodney had been from first to last . And yet [Denham]_154-ralph ! [She]_{129-katharine} had a view of [him]_154-ralph as [a judge]_{3337-a judge} . [She]_{129-katharine} figured [him]_154-ralph sternly weighing instances of [her]_{129-katharine} levity in this masculine court of inquiry into feminine morality and gruffly dismissing both [her]_{129-katharine} and [[her]_{129-katharine} family]_{463-her family} with some half - sarcastic , half - tolerant phrase which sealed [her]_{129-katharine} doom , as far as [he]_154-ralph was concerned , for ever . Having met [him]_154-ralph so lately , the sense of [his]_154-ralph character was strong in [her]_{129-katharine} . The thought was not a pleasant one for [a proud woman]_{4493-a proud woman} , but [she]_{129-katharine} had yet to learn the art of subduing [her]_{129-katharine} expression . [Her]_{129-katharine} eyes fixed upon the ground , [her]_{129-katharine} brows drawn together , gave [William]_176-rodney a very fair picture of the resentment that [she]_{129-katharine} was forcing [herself]_{129-katharine} to control . A certain degree of apprehension , occasionally culminating in a kind of fear , had always entered into [his]_154-ralph love for [her]_{129-katharine} , and had increased , rather to [his]_154-ralph surprise , in the greater intimacy of [their]_4494-their engagement . Beneath [her]_{129-katharine} steady , exemplary surface ran a vein of passion which seemed to [him]_154-ralph now perverse , now completely irrational , for it never took the normal channel of glorification of [him]_154-ralph and [his]_154-ralph doings ; and , indeed , [he]_154-ralph almost preferred the steady good sense , which had always marked [their]_4494-their relationship , to a more romantic bond . But passion [she]_{129-katharine} had , [he]_154-ralph could not deny it , and hitherto [he]_154-ralph had tried to see it employed in [his]_154-ralph thoughts upon the lives of [the children who were to be born]_{4495-the children who were to be born} to [them]_4494-their . “_[154-ralph] [She]_1950-she will make [a perfect mother]_{1951-a perfect mother} — [a mother of sons]_{1952-a mother of sons} , ” [he]_154-ralph thought ; but seeing [her]_{129-katharine} sitting there , gloomy and silent , [he]_154-ralph began to have [his]_154-ralph doubts on this point . “_[1950-she] A farce , a farce , ” [he]_154-ralph thought to [himself]_154-ralph . “_[1950-she] [She]_1950-she said that [our]_1953-our marriage would be a farce , ” and [he]_154-ralph became suddenly aware of [their]_4494-their situation , sitting upon the ground , among the dead leaves , not fifty yards from [the main road]_{3796-the main road} , so that it was quite possible for [some one passing]_{4497-some one passing} to see and recognize [them]_4494-their . [He]_154-ralph brushed off [his]_154-ralph face any trace that might remain of that unseemly exhibition of emotion . But [he]_154-ralph was more troubled by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s appearance , as [she]_{129-katharine} sat rapt in thought upon the ground , than by [his]_154-ralph own ; there was something improper to [him]_154-ralph in [her]_{129-katharine} self - forgetfulness . [A man naturally alive to the conventions of society]_{4498-a man naturally alive to the conventions of society} , [he]_154-ralph was strictly conventional where [women]_557-women were concerned , and especially if [the women]_{3513-the women} happened to be in any way connected with [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph noticed with distress the long strand of dark hair touching [her]_{129-katharine} shoulder and two or three dead beech - leaves attached to [her]_{129-katharine} dress ; but to recall [her]_{129-katharine} mind in [their]_4494-their present circumstances to a sense of these details was impossible . [She]_{129-katharine} sat there , seeming unconscious of everything . [He]_154-ralph suspected that in [her]_{129-katharine} silence [she]_{129-katharine} was reproaching [herself]_{129-katharine} ; but [he]_154-ralph wished that [she]_{129-katharine} would think of [her]_{129-katharine} hair and of the dead beech - leaves , which were of more immediate importance to [him]_154-ralph than anything else . Indeed , these trifles drew [his]_154-ralph attention strangely from [his]_154-ralph own doubtful and uneasy state of mind ; for relief , mixing itself with pain , stirred up a most curious hurry and tumult in [his]_154-ralph breast , almost concealing [his]_154-ralph first sharp sense of bleak and overwhelming disappointment . In order to relieve this restlessness and close a distressingly ill - ordered scene , [he]_154-ralph rose abruptly and helped [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to [her]_{129-katharine} feet . [She]_{129-katharine} smiled a little at the minute care with which [he]_154-ralph tidied [her]_{129-katharine} and yet , when [he]_154-ralph brushed the dead leaves from [his]_154-ralph own coat , [she]_{129-katharine} flinched , seeing in that action the gesture of [a lonely man]_{4501-a lonely man} . “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i will marry [you]_176-rodney . [I]_0-i will try to make [you]_176-rodney happy . ” The afternoon was already growing dark when [the two other wayfarers]_{4502-the two other wayfarers} , [Mary]_175-mary and [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , came out on [the high road beyond [the outskirts of [Lincoln]_52-lincoln]_{4504-the outskirts of lincoln}]_{4503-the high road beyond the outskirts of lincoln} . [The high road]_{4327-the high road} , as [they]_{4502-the two other wayfarers} both felt , was better suited to this return journey than [the open country]_{4506-the open country} , and for the first mile or so of the way [they]_{4502-the two other wayfarers} spoke little . In [his]_154-ralph own mind [Ralph]_154-ralph was following the passage of [the Otway carriage]_{4441-the otway carriage} over [the heath]_{4450-the heath} ; [he]_154-ralph then went back to the five or ten minutes that [he]_154-ralph had spent with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and examined each word with the care that [a scholar]_{1376-a scholar} displays upon the irregularities of an ancient text . [He]_154-ralph was determined that the glow , the romance , the atmosphere of this meeting should not paint what [he]_154-ralph must in future regard as sober facts . On [her]_175-mary side [Mary]_175-mary was silent , not because [her]_175-mary thoughts took much handling , but because [her]_175-mary mind seemed empty of thought as [her]_175-mary heart of feeling . Only [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s presence , as [she]_175-mary knew , preserved this numbness , for [she]_175-mary could foresee a time of loneliness when many varieties of pain would beset [her]_175-mary . At the present moment [her]_175-mary effort was to preserve what [she]_175-mary could of the wreck of [her]_175-mary self - respect , for such [she]_175-mary deemed that momentary glimpse of [her]_175-mary love so involuntarily revealed to [Ralph]_154-ralph . In the light of reason it did not much matter , perhaps , but it was [her]_175-mary instinct to be careful of that vision of [herself]_175-mary which keeps pace so evenly beside every one of [us]_4510-us , and had been damaged by [her]_175-mary confession . The gray night coming down over [the country]_{761-the country} was kind to [her]_175-mary ; and [she]_175-mary thought that one of these days [she]_175-mary would find comfort in sitting upon [the earth]_{2936-the earth} , alone , beneath a tree . Looking through the darkness , [she]_175-mary marked the swelling ground and the tree . [Ralph]_154-ralph made [her]_175-mary start by saying abruptly ; “_[0-i] What [I]_0-i was going to say when [we]_1954-we were interrupted at lunch was that if [you]_1955-you go to [America]_75-america [I]_0-i shall come , too . It ca n’t be harder to earn a living [there]_2927-there than it is here . However , that ’s not the point . The point is , [Mary]_175-mary , that [I]_0-i want to marry [you]_1955-you . Well , what do [you]_1955-you say ? ” [He]_154-ralph spoke firmly , waited for no answer , and took [her]_175-mary arm in [his]_154-ralph . “_[1955-you] [You]_1955-you know [me]_0-i by this time , the good and the bad , ” [he]_154-ralph went on . “_[1955-you] [You]_1955-you know [my]_0-i tempers . [I]_0-i ’ve tried to let [you]_1955-you know [my]_0-i faults . Well , what do [you]_0-i say , [Mary]_175-mary ? ” [She]_175-mary said nothing , but this did not seem to strike [him]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] In most ways , at least in the important ways , as [you]_0-i said , [we]_1957-we know [each other]_{451-each other} and [we]_1957-we think alike . [I]_0-i believe [you]_1955-you are [the only person in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{1959-the only person in the world} [I]_0-i could live with happily . And if [you]_1955-you feel the same about [me]_0-i — as [you]_1955-you do , do n’t [you]_1955-you , [Mary?—we]_{318-mary?—we} should make [each other]_{451-each other} happy . ” Here [he]_154-ralph paused , and seemed to be in no hurry for an answer ; [he]_154-ralph seemed , indeed , to be continuing [his]_154-ralph own thoughts . “_{[318-mary?—we]} Yes , but [I]_0-i ’m afraid [I]_0-i could n’t do it , ” [Mary]_175-mary said at last . The casual and rather hurried way in which [she]_175-mary spoke , together with the fact that [she]_175-mary was saying the exact opposite of what [he]_154-ralph expected [her]_175-mary to say , baffled [him]_154-ralph so much that [he]_154-ralph instinctively loosened [his]_154-ralph clasp upon [her]_175-mary arm and [she]_175-mary withdrew it quietly . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i could n’t do it ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . “_[0-i] No , [I]_0-i could n’t marry [you]_0-i , ” [she]_175-mary replied . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t care for [me]_0-i ? ” [She]_175-mary made no answer . “_[0-i] Well , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph said , with a curious laugh , “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i must be [an arrant fool]_{1962-an arrant fool} , for [I]_0-i thought [you]_175-mary did . ” [They]_4513-they walked for a minute or two in silence , and suddenly [he]_154-ralph turned to [her]_175-mary , looked at [her]_175-mary , and exclaimed : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t believe [you]_175-mary , [Mary]_175-mary . [You]_175-mary ’re not telling [me]_0-i the truth . ” “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i ’m too tired to argue , [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i replied , turning [her]_0-i head away from [him]_154-ralph . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i ask [you]_154-ralph to believe what [I]_0-i say . [I]_0-i ca n’t marry [you]_154-ralph ; [I]_0-i do n’t want to marry [you]_154-ralph . ” The voice in which [she]_0-i stated this was so evidently the voice of one in some extremity of anguish that [Ralph]_154-ralph had no course but to obey [her]_0-i . And as soon as the tone of [her]_0-i voice had died out , and the surprise faded from [his]_154-ralph mind , [he]_154-ralph found [himself]_154-ralph believing that [she]_0-i had spoken the truth , for [he]_154-ralph had but little vanity , and soon [her]_0-i refusal seemed a natural thing to [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph slipped through all the grades of despondency until [he]_154-ralph reached a bottom of absolute gloom . Failure seemed to mark the whole of [his]_154-ralph life ; [he]_154-ralph had failed with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and now [he]_154-ralph had failed with [Mary]_175-mary . Up at once sprang the thought of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and with it a sense of exulting freedom , but this [he]_154-ralph checked instantly . No good had ever come to [him]_154-ralph from [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [his]_154-ralph whole relationship with [her]_{129-katharine} had been made up of dreams ; and as [he]_154-ralph thought of the little substance there had been in [his]_154-ralph dreams [he]_154-ralph began to lay the blame of the present catastrophe upon [his]_154-ralph dreams . “_[0-i] Have n’t [I]_0-i always been thinking of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} while [I]_0-i was with [Mary]_175-mary ? [I]_0-i might have loved [Mary]_175-mary if it had n’t been for that idiocy of [mine]_0-i . [She]_175-mary cared for [me]_0-i once , [I]_0-i ’m certain of that , but [I]_0-i tormented [her]_175-mary so with [my]_0-i humors that [I]_0-i let [my]_0-i chances slip , and now [she]_175-mary wo n’t risk marrying [me]_0-i . And this is what [I]_0-i ’ve made of [my]_0-i life — nothing , nothing , nothing . ” The tramp of [their]_4514-their boots upon [the dry road]_{4320-the dry road} seemed to asseverate nothing , nothing , nothing . [Mary]_175-mary thought that this silence was the silence of relief ; [his]_4516-he depression [she]_175-mary ascribed to the fact that [he]_4516-he had seen [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and parted from [her]_{129-katharine} , leaving [her]_{129-katharine} in the company of [William Rodney]_176-rodney . [She]_175-mary could not blame [him]_4516-he for loving [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but that , when [he]_4516-he loved [another]_3114-another , [he]_4516-he should ask [her]_175-mary to marry [him]_4516-he — that seemed to [her]_175-mary the cruellest treachery . [Their]_4514-their old friendship and its firm base upon indestructible qualities of character crumbled , and [her]_175-mary whole past seemed foolish , [herself]_175-mary weak and credulous , and [Ralph]_154-ralph merely the shell of [an honest man]_{4518-an honest man} . Oh , the past — so much made up of [Ralph]_154-ralph ; and now , as [she]_175-mary saw , made up of something strange and false and other than [she]_175-mary had thought it . [She]_175-mary tried to recapture a saying [she]_175-mary had made to help [herself]_175-mary that morning , as [Ralph]_154-ralph paid the bill for luncheon ; but [she]_175-mary could see [him]_154-ralph paying the bill more vividly than [she]_175-mary could remember the phrase . Something about truth was in it ; how to see the truth is [our]_1964-we great chance in [this world]_{1389-this world} . “_[0-i] If [you]_1963-you do n’t want to marry [me]_0-i , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph now began again , without abruptness , with diffidence rather , “_[1963-you] there is no need why [we]_1964-we should cease to see [each other]_{451-each other} , is there ? Or would [you]_1963-you rather that [we]_1964-we should keep apart for the present ? ” “_[1963-you] Keep apart ? [I]_0-i do n’t know — [I]_0-i must think about it . ” “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i one thing , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph resumed ; “_[0-i] have [I]_0-i done anything to make [you]_175-mary change [your]_175-mary mind about [me]_0-i ? ” [She]_175-mary was immensely tempted to give way to [her]_175-mary natural trust in [him]_154-ralph , revived by the deep and now melancholy tones of [his]_154-ralph voice , and to tell [him]_154-ralph of [her]_175-mary love , and of what had changed it . But although it seemed likely that [she]_175-mary would soon control [her]_175-mary anger with [him]_154-ralph , the certainty that [he]_154-ralph did not love [her]_175-mary , confirmed by every word of [his]_154-ralph proposal , forbade any freedom of speech . To hear [him]_154-ralph speak and to feel [herself]_175-mary unable to reply , or constrained in [her]_175-mary replies , was so painful that [she]_175-mary longed for the time when [she]_175-mary should be alone . [A more pliant woman]_{4520-a more pliant woman} would have taken this chance of an explanation , whatever risks attached to it ; but to one of [Mary]_175-mary ’s firm and resolute temperament there was degradation in the idea of self - abandonment ; let the waves of emotion rise ever so high , [she]_175-mary could not shut [her]_175-mary eyes to what [she]_175-mary conceived to be the truth . [Her]_175-mary silence puzzled [Ralph]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph searched [his]_154-ralph memory for words or deeds that might have made [her]_175-mary think badly of [him]_154-ralph . In [his]_154-ralph present mood instances came but too quickly , and on top of them this culminating proof of [his]_154-ralph baseness — that [he]_154-ralph had asked [her]_175-mary to marry [him]_154-ralph when [his]_154-ralph reasons for such a proposal were selfish and half - hearted . “_[0-i] [You]_1966-you need n’t answer , ” [he]_154-ralph said grimly . “_[1966-you] There are reasons enough , [I]_0-i know . But must [they]_1967-they kill [our]_1968-them friendship , [Mary]_175-mary ? Let [me]_0-i keep that , at least . ” “_[0-i] Oh , ” [she]_175-mary thought to [herself]_175-mary , with a sudden rush of anguish which threatened disaster to [her]_175-mary self - respect , “_[1967-they] it has come to this — to this — when [I]_0-i could have given [him]_1969-he everything ! ” “_[0-i] Yes , [we]_1968-them can still be [friends]_4133-friends , ” [she]_175-mary said , with what firmness [she]_175-mary could muster . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall want [your]_1966-you friendship , ” [he]_1969-he said . [He]_1969-he added , “_[0-i] If [you]_1966-you find it possible , let [me]_0-i see [you]_1966-you as often as [you]_1966-you can . [The oftener]_{1971-the oftener} the better . [I]_0-i shall want [your]_1966-you help . ” [She]_175-mary promised this , and [they]_1968-them went on to talk calmly of things that had no reference to [their]_1968-them feelings — a talk which , in its constraint , was infinitely sad to both of [them]_1968-them . One more reference was made to the state of things between [them]_1968-them late that night , when [Elizabeth]_{285-elizabeth} had gone to [[her]_{285-elizabeth} room]_{798-her room} , and [the two young men]_{4522-the two young men} had stumbled off to bed in such a state of sleep that [they]_{4522-the two young men} hardly felt the floor beneath [their]_{4522-the two young men} feet after a day ’s shooting . [Mary]_175-mary drew [her]_175-mary chair a little nearer to the fire , for the logs were burning low , and at this time of night it was hardly worth while to replenish them . [Ralph]_154-ralph was reading , but [she]_175-mary had noticed for some time that [his]_154-ralph eyes instead of following the print were fixed rather above the page with an intensity of gloom that came to weigh upon [her]_175-mary mind . [She]_175-mary had not weakened in [her]_175-mary resolve not to give way , for reflection had only made [her]_175-mary more bitterly certain that , if [she]_175-mary gave way , it would be to [her]_175-mary own wish and not to [his]_154-ralph . But [she]_175-mary had determined that there was no reason why [he]_154-ralph should suffer if [her]_175-mary reticence were the cause of [his]_154-ralph suffering . Therefore , although [she]_175-mary found it painful , [she]_175-mary spoke : “_[1972-you] [You]_1972-you asked [me]_0-i if [I]_0-i had changed [my]_0-i mind about [you]_1972-you , [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i think there ’s only one thing . When [you]_1972-you asked [me]_0-i to marry [you]_1972-you , [I]_0-i do n’t think [you]_1972-you meant it . That made [me]_0-i angry — for the moment . Before , [you]_1972-you ’d always spoken the truth . ” [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s book slid down upon [his]_154-ralph knee and fell upon the floor . [He]_154-ralph rested [his]_154-ralph forehead on [his]_154-ralph hand and looked into the fire . [He]_154-ralph was trying to recall the exact words in which [he]_154-ralph had made [his]_154-ralph proposal to [Mary]_175-mary . “_[1972-you] [I]_0-i never said [I]_0-i loved [you]_1972-you , ” [he]_154-ralph said at last . [She]_175-mary winced ; but [she]_175-mary respected [him]_154-ralph for saying what [he]_154-ralph did , for this , after all , was a fragment of the truth which [she]_175-mary had vowed to live by . “_[0-i] And to [me]_0-i marriage without love does n’t seem worth while , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[0-i] Well , [Mary]_175-mary , [I]_0-i ’m not going to press [you]_1972-you , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see [you]_1972-you do n’t want to marry [me]_0-i . But love — don’t [we]_1973-we all talk a great deal of nonsense about it ? What does [one]_422-one mean ? [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i care for [you]_1972-you more genuinely than [nine men out of ten]_{1975-nine men out of ten} care for [the women [they]_{1975-nine men out of ten} ’re in love with]_{1976-the women they ’re in love with} . It ’s only a story [one]_422-one makes up in [one]_422-one ’s mind about [another person]_{879-another person} , and [one]_422-one knows all the time it is n’t true . Of course [one]_422-one knows ; why , [one]_422-one ’s always taking care not to destroy the illusion . [One]_422-one takes care not to see [them]_1984-them too often , or to be alone with [them]_1984-them for too long together . It ’s a pleasant illusion , but if [you]_1972-you ’re thinking of the risks of marriage , it seems to [me]_0-i that the risk of marrying [a person [you]_1972-you ’re in love with]_{1985-a person you ’re in love with} is something colossal . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t believe a word of that , and what ’s more [you]_1972-you do n’t , either , ” [she]_0-i replied with anger . “_[1972-you] However , [we]_1986-we do n’t agree ; [I]_0-i only wanted [you]_1972-you to understand . ” [She]_0-i shifted [her]_0-i position , as if [she]_0-i were about to go . An instinctive desire to prevent [her]_0-i from leaving [the room]_{379-the room} made [Ralph]_154-ralph rise at this point and begin pacing up and down [the nearly empty kitchen]_{4524-the nearly empty kitchen} , checking [his]_154-ralph desire , each time [he]_154-ralph reached the door , to open it and step out into [the garden]_{3362-the garden} . [A moralist]_{1346-a moralist} might have said that at this point [his]_154-ralph mind should have been full of self - reproach for the suffering [he]_154-ralph had caused . On the contrary , [he]_154-ralph was extremely angry , with the confused impotent anger of one who finds [himself]_154-ralph unreasonably but efficiently frustrated . [He]_154-ralph was trapped by the illogicality of human life . The obstacles in the way of [his]_154-ralph desire seemed to [him]_154-ralph purely artificial , and yet [he]_154-ralph could see no way of removing them . [Mary]_175-mary ’s words , the tone of [her]_175-mary voice even , angered [him]_154-ralph , for [she]_175-mary would not help [him]_154-ralph . [She]_175-mary was part of the insanely jumbled muddle of [a world]_{4527-a world} which impedes the sensible life . [He]_154-ralph would have liked to slam the door or break the hind legs of a chair , for the obstacles had taken some such curiously substantial shape in [his]_154-ralph mind . “_[1972-you] [I]_0-i doubt that [one human being]_{1987-one human being} ever understands [another]_3114-another , ” [he]_154-ralph said , stopping in [his]_154-ralph march and confronting [Mary]_175-mary at a distance of a few feet . “_{[1987-one human being]} [Such damned liars]_{1989-such damned liars} as [we]_1990-we all are , how can [we]_1990-we ? But [we]_1990-we can try . If [you]_1991-you do n’t want to marry [me]_0-i , do n’t ; but the position [you]_1991-you take up about love , and not seeing [each other]_{451-each other} — isn’t that mere sentimentality ? [You]_1991-you think [I]_0-i ’ve behaved very badly , ” [he]_154-ralph continued , as [she]_175-mary did not speak . “_[1991-you] Of course [I]_0-i behave badly ; but [you]_1991-you ca n’t judge [people]_383-people by what [they]_383-people do . [You]_1991-you ca n’t go through life measuring right and wrong with a foot - rule . That ’s what [you]_1991-you ’re always doing , [Mary]_175-mary ; that ’s what [you]_1991-you ’re doing now . ” [She]_175-mary saw [herself]_175-mary in [the Suffrage Office]_{3181-the suffrage office} , delivering judgment , meting out right and wrong , and there seemed to [her]_175-mary to be some justice in the charge , although it did not affect [her]_175-mary main position . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not angry with [you]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i said slowly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i will go on seeing [you]_0-i , as [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i would . ” It was true that [she]_0-i had promised that much already , and it was difficult for [him]_4529-he to say what more it was that [he]_4529-he wanted — some intimacy , some help against the ghost of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , perhaps , something that [he]_4529-he knew [he]_4529-he had no right to ask ; and yet , as [he]_4529-he sank into [his]_4529-he chair and looked once more at the dying fire it seemed to [him]_4529-he that [he]_4529-he had been defeated , not so much by [Mary]_175-mary as by life itself . [He]_4529-he felt [himself]_4529-he thrown back to the beginning of life again , where everything has yet to be won ; but in extreme youth [one]_422-one has an ignorant hope . [He]_4529-he was no longer certain that [he]_4529-he would triumph . Happily for [Mary Datchet]_175-mary [she]_175-mary returned to [the office]_{3177-the office} to find that by some obscure Parliamentary maneuver the vote had once more slipped beyond the attainment of [women]_557-women . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} was in a condition bordering upon frenzy . The duplicity of [Ministers]_{4155-ministers} , the treachery of [mankind]_4534-mankind , the insult to womanhood , the setback to civilization , the ruin of [her]_175-mary life ’s work , the feelings of [[her]_175-mary father ’s daughter]_{3771-her father ’s daughter} — all these topics were discussed in turn , and [the office]_{3177-the office} was littered with newspaper cuttings branded with the blue , if ambiguous , marks of [her]_175-mary displeasure . [She]_175-mary confessed [herself]_175-mary at fault in [her]_175-mary estimate of human nature . “_[0-i] The simple elementary acts of justice , ” [she]_175-mary said , waving [her]_175-mary hand towards the window , and indicating the foot - passengers and omnibuses then passing down the far side of [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} , “_[175-mary] are as far beyond [them]_1994-them as [they]_1994-them ever were . [We]_1995-we can only look upon [ourselves]_1995-we , [Mary]_175-mary , as pioneers in [a wilderness]_{1996-a wilderness} . [We]_1995-we can only go on patiently putting the truth before [them]_1994-them . It is n’t [them]_1994-them , ” [she]_175-mary continued , taking heart from [her]_175-mary sight of the traffic , “_{[1997-their leaders]} it ’s [[their]_1994-them leaders]_{1997-their leaders} . It ’s [those gentlemen sitting in [Parliament]_{1999-parliament} and drawing four hundred a year of [the people]_{3250-the people} ’s money]_{1998-those gentlemen sitting in parliament and drawing four hundred a year of the people ’s money} . If [we]_1995-we had to put [our]_1995-we case to [the people]_{3250-the people} , [we]_1995-we should soon have justice done to [us]_1995-we . [I]_0-i have always believed in [the people]_{3250-the people} , and [I]_0-i do so still . But — ” [She]_175-mary shook [her]_175-mary head and implied that [she]_175-mary would give [them]_1994-them one more chance , and if [they]_1994-them did n’t take advantage of that [she]_175-mary could n’t answer for the consequences . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s attitude was more philosophical and better supported by statistics . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} came into [the room]_{379-the room} after [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s outburst and pointed out , with historical illustrations , that such reverses had happened in every political campaign of any importance . If anything , [his]_{197-mr. clacton} spirits were improved by the disaster . [The enemy]_{4538-the enemy} , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said , had taken the offensive ; and it was now up to [the Society]_{76-the society} to outwit [the enemy]_{4538-the enemy} . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} gave [Mary]_175-mary to understand that [he]_{197-mr. clacton} had taken the measure of [their]_1994-them cunning , and had already bent [his]_{197-mr. clacton} mind to the task which , so far as [she]_175-mary could make out , depended solely upon [him]_{197-mr. clacton} . It depended , so [she]_175-mary came to think , when invited into [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} room]_{521-his room} for a private conference , upon a systematic revision of the card - index , upon the issue of certain new lemon - colored leaflets , in which the facts were marshaled once more in a very striking way , and upon a large scale map of [England]_5-england dotted with little pins tufted with differently colored plumes of hair according to [their]_1994-them geographical position . [Each district]_{4541-each district} , under the new system , had [its]_{4541-each district} flag , [its]_{4541-each district} bottle of ink , [its]_{4541-each district} sheaf of documents tabulated and filed for reference in a drawer , so that by looking under M or S , as the case might be , [you]_4542-you had all the facts with respect to [the Suffrage organizations of [that county]_{4544-that county}]_{4543-the suffrage organizations of that county} at [your]_4542-you fingers ’ ends . This would require a great deal of work , of course . “_[2003-we] [We]_2003-we must try to consider [ourselves]_2003-we rather in the light of a telephone exchange — for the exchange of ideas , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , ” [he]_4545-he said ; and taking pleasure in [his]_4545-he image , [he]_4545-he continued it . “_[175-mary] [We]_2003-we should consider [ourselves]_2003-we the center of an enormous system of wires , connecting [us]_2003-we up with [every district of [the country]_{761-the country}]_{2004-every district of the country} . [We]_2003-we must have [our]_2003-we fingers upon the pulse of [the community]_{3242-the community} ; [we]_2003-we want to know what people all over [England]_5-england are thinking ; [we]_2003-we want to put [them]_2007-them in the way of thinking rightly . ” The system , of course , was only roughly sketched so far — jotted down , in fact , during the Christmas holidays . “_{[197-mr. clacton]} When [you]_2008-you ought to have been taking a rest , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , ” said [Mary]_175-mary dutifully , but [her]_175-mary tone was flat and tired . “_{[197-mr. clacton]} [We]_2003-we learn to do without holidays , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , ” said [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , with a spark of satisfaction in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} eye . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} wished particularly to have [her]_175-mary opinion of the lemon - colored leaflet . According to [his]_{197-mr. clacton} plan , it was to be distributed in immense quantities immediately , in order to stimulate and generate , “_[175-mary] to generate and stimulate , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} repeated , “_[175-mary] right thoughts in [the country]_{761-the country} before the meeting of Parliament . ” “_[2003-we] [We]_2003-we have to take [the enemy]_{4538-the enemy} by surprise , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said . “_{[4538-the enemy]} [They]_{4538-the enemy} do n’t let the grass grow under [their]_{4538-the enemy} feet . Have [you]_175-mary seen [Bingham]_319-bingham ’s address to [[his]_319-bingham constituents]_{2011-his constituents} ? That ’s a hint of the sort of thing [we]_2003-we ’ve got to meet , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary . ” [He]_{197-mr. clacton} handed [her]_175-mary a great bundle of newspaper cuttings , and , begging [her]_175-mary to give [him]_{197-mr. clacton} [her]_175-mary views upon the yellow leaflet before lunch - time , [he]_{197-mr. clacton} turned with alacrity to [his]_{197-mr. clacton} different sheets of paper and [his]_{197-mr. clacton} different bottles of ink . [Mary]_175-mary shut the door , laid the documents upon [her]_175-mary table , and sank [her]_175-mary head on [her]_175-mary hands . [Her]_175-mary brain was curiously empty of any thought . [She]_175-mary listened , as if , perhaps , by listening [she]_175-mary would become merged again in the atmosphere of [the office]_{3177-the office} . From [the next room]_{472-the next room} came the rapid spasmodic sounds of [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s erratic typewriting ; [she]_175-mary , doubtless , was already hard at work helping [the people of [England]_5-england]_{4548-the people of england} , as [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} put it , to think rightly ; “_[175-mary] generating and stimulating , ” those were [his]_{197-mr. clacton} words . [She]_175-mary was striking a blow against [the enemy]_{4538-the enemy} , no doubt , who did n’t let the grass grow beneath [their]_{4538-the enemy} feet . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s words repeated themselves accurately in [her]_175-mary brain . [She]_175-mary pushed the papers wearily over to the farther side of the table . It was no use , though ; something or other had happened to [her]_175-mary brain — a change of focus so that near things were indistinct again . The same thing had happened to [her]_175-mary once before , [she]_175-mary remembered , after [she]_175-mary had met [Ralph]_154-ralph in [the gardens of [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{3749-lincoln ’s inn fields}]_{4550-the gardens of lincoln ’s inn fields} ; [she]_175-mary had spent the whole of a committee meeting in thinking about sparrows and colors , until , almost at the end of the meeting , [her]_175-mary old convictions had all come back to [her]_175-mary . But they had only come back , [she]_175-mary thought with scorn at [her]_175-mary feebleness , because [she]_175-mary wanted to use [them]_{4538-the enemy} to fight against [Ralph]_154-ralph . [They]_{4538-the enemy} were n’t , rightly speaking , convictions at all . [She]_175-mary could not see [the world]_{478-the world} divided into separate compartments of [good people]_{4553-good people} and [bad people]_{4554-bad people} , any more than [she]_175-mary could believe so implicitly in the rightness of [her]_175-mary own thought as to wish to bring [the population of [the British Isles]_{4556-the british isles}]_{4555-the population of the british isles} into agreement with it . [She]_175-mary looked at the lemon - colored leaflet , and thought almost enviously of the faith which could find comfort in the issue of such documents ; for [herself]_175-mary [she]_175-mary would be content to remain silent for ever if a share of personal happiness were granted [her]_175-mary . [She]_175-mary read [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s statement with a curious division of judgment , noting its weak and pompous verbosity on the one hand , and , at the same time , feeling that faith , faith in an illusion , perhaps , but , at any rate , faith in something , was of all gifts the most to be envied . An illusion it was , no doubt . [She]_175-mary looked curiously round [her]_175-mary at the furniture of [the office]_{3177-the office} , at the machinery in which [she]_175-mary had taken so much pride , and marveled to think that once the copying - presses , the card - index , the files of documents , had all been shrouded , wrapped in some mist which gave [them]_{4538-the enemy} a unity and a general dignity and purpose independently of their separate significance . The ugly cumbersomeness of the furniture alone impressed [her]_175-mary now . [Her]_175-mary attitude had become very lax and despondent when the typewriter stopped in [the next room]_{472-the next room} . [Mary]_175-mary immediately drew up to the table , laid hands on an unopened envelope , and adopted an expression which might hide [her]_175-mary state of mind from [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} . Some instinct of decency required that [she]_175-mary should not allow [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} to see [her]_175-mary face . Shading [her]_175-mary eyes with [her]_175-mary fingers , [she]_175-mary watched [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} pull out one drawer after another in [her]_{196-mrs. seal} search for some envelope or leaflet . [She]_0-i was tempted to drop [her]_0-i fingers and exclaim : “_[175-mary] Do sit down , [Sally]_200-sally , and tell [me]_0-i how [you]_200-sally manage it — how [you]_200-sally manage , that is , to bustle about with perfect confidence in the necessity of [your]_200-sally own activities , which to [me]_0-i seem as futile as the buzzing of a belated blue - bottle . ” [She]_0-i said nothing of the kind , however , and the presence of industry which [she]_0-i preserved so long as [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} was in [the room]_{379-the room} served to set [her]_0-i brain in motion , so that [she]_0-i dispatched [her]_0-i morning ’s work much as usual . At one o’clock [she]_0-i was surprised to find how efficiently [she]_0-i had dealt with the morning . As [she]_0-i put [her]_0-i hat on [she]_0-i determined to lunch at [a shop in [the Strand]_{19-the strand}]_{4560-a shop in the strand} , so as to set that other piece of mechanism , [her]_0-i body , into action . With a brain working and [a body working]_{4561-a body working} [one]_422-one could keep step with [the crowd]_{939-the crowd} and never be found out for the hollow machine , lacking the essential thing , that [one was conscious of being]_{4564-one was conscious of being} . [She]_0-i considered [her]_0-i case as [she]_0-i walked down [the Charing Cross Road]_{4565-the charing cross road} . [She]_0-i put to [herself]_0-i a series of questions . Would [she]_0-i mind , for example , if the wheels of [that motor - omnibus]_{4566-that motor - omnibus} passed over [her]_0-i and crushed [her]_0-i to death ? No , not in the least ; or an adventure with [that disagreeable - looking man hanging about the entrance of [the Tube station]_{4568-the tube station}]_{4567-that disagreeable - looking man hanging about the entrance of the tube station} ? No ; [she]_0-i could not conceive fear or excitement . Did suffering in any form appall [her]_0-i ? No , suffering was neither good nor bad . And this essential thing ? In the eyes of [every single person]_{4569-every single person} [she]_0-i detected a flame ; as if a spark in the brain ignited spontaneously at contact with the things [they]_{4569-every single person} met and drove [them]_{4569-every single person} on . [The young women looking into the milliners]_{4570-the young women looking into the milliners} ’ windows had that look in [their]_{4570-the young women looking into the milliners} eyes ; and [elderly men]_{4571-elderly men} turning over books in [the second - hand book - shops]_{4572-the second - hand book - shops} , and eagerly waiting to hear what the price was — the very lowest price — [they]_{4571-elderly men} had it , too . But [she]_0-i cared nothing at all for clothes or for money either . Books [she]_0-i shrank from , for they were connected too closely with [Ralph]_154-ralph . [She]_0-i kept on [her]_0-i way resolutely through [the crowd of people , among whom [she]_0-i was so much of [an alien]_{4574-an alien} , feeling [them]_{4571-elderly men} cleave and give way before [her]_0-i]_{4573-the crowd of people , among whom she was so much of an alien , feeling them cleave and give way before her} . Strange thoughts are bred in passing through [crowded streets]_{4575-crowded streets} should [the passenger]_{4576-the passenger} , by chance , have no exact destination in front of [him]_{4576-the passenger} , much as the mind shapes all kinds of forms , solutions , images when listening inattentively to music . From an acute consciousness of [herself]_0-i as [an individual]_{4577-an individual} , [Mary]_175-mary passed to a conception of the scheme of things in which , as [a human being]_{861-a human being} , [she]_0-i must have [her]_0-i share . [She]_0-i half held a vision ; the vision shaped and dwindled . [She]_0-i wished [she]_0-i had a pencil and a piece of paper to help [her]_0-i to give a form to this conception which composed itself as [she]_0-i walked down [the Charing Cross Road]_{4565-the charing cross road} . But if [she]_0-i talked to [any one]_{2939-any one} , the conception might escape [her]_0-i . [Her]_0-i vision seemed to lay out the lines of [her]_0-i life until death in a way which satisfied [her]_0-i sense of harmony . It only needed a persistent effort of thought , stimulated in this strange way by [the crowd]_{939-the crowd} and the noise , to climb the crest of existence and see it all laid out once and for ever . Already [her]_0-i suffering as [an individual]_{4577-an individual} was left behind [her]_0-i . Of this process , which was to [her]_0-i so full of effort , which comprised infinitely swift and full passages of thought , leading from one crest to another , as [she]_0-i shaped [her]_0-i conception of life in [this world]_{1389-this world} , only two articulate words escaped [her]_0-i , muttered beneath [her]_0-i breath—“Not_[200-sally] happiness — not happiness . ” [She]_0-i sat down on a seat opposite the statue of one of [[London]_2-london ’s heroes]_{4584-london ’s heroes} upon [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} , and spoke the words aloud . To [her]_0-i they represented the rare flower or splinter of rock brought down by [a climber]_{4586-a climber} in proof that [he]_{4586-a climber} has stood for a moment , at least , upon [the highest peak of [the mountain]_{4588-the mountain}]_{4587-the highest peak of the mountain} . [She]_0-i had been up there and seen [the world]_{478-the world} spread to the horizon . It was now necessary to alter [her]_0-i course to some extent , according to [her]_0-i new resolve . [[Her]_0-i post]_{4590-her post} should be in one of [those exposed and desolate stations which are shunned naturally by [happy people]_{4592-happy people}]_{4591-those exposed and desolate stations which are shunned naturally by happy people} . [She]_0-i arranged the details of the new plan in [her]_0-i mind , not without a grim satisfaction . “_[200-sally] Now , ” [she]_0-i said to [herself]_0-i , rising from [her]_0-i seat , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll think of [Ralph]_154-ralph . ” Where was [he]_154-ralph to be placed in the new scale of life ? [Her]_0-i exalted mood seemed to make it safe to handle the question . But [she]_0-i was dismayed to find how quickly [her]_0-i passions leapt forward the moment [she]_0-i sanctioned this line of thought . Now [she]_0-i was identified with [him]_154-ralph and rethought [his]_154-ralph thoughts with complete self - surrender ; now , with a sudden cleavage of spirit , [she]_0-i turned upon [him]_154-ralph and denounced [him]_154-ralph for [his]_154-ralph cruelty . “_[154-ralph] But [I]_0-i refuse — [I]_0-i refuse to hate [any one]_{2939-any one} , ” [she]_0-i said aloud ; chose the moment to cross [the road]_{941-the road} with circumspection , and ten minutes later lunched in [the Strand]_{811-the strand} , cutting [her]_0-i meat firmly into small pieces , but giving [[her]_0-i fellow - diners]_{4595-her fellow - diners} no further cause to judge [her]_0-i eccentric . [Her]_0-i soliloquy crystallized itself into little fragmentary phrases emerging suddenly from the turbulence of [her]_0-i thought , particularly when [she]_0-i had to exert [herself]_0-i in any way , either to move , to count money , or to choose a turning . “_[0-i] To know the truth — to accept without bitterness”—those , perhaps , were the most articulate of [her]_0-i utterances , for [no one]_{2921-no one} could have made head or tail of the queer gibberish murmured in front of the statue of [Francis]_{306-sir francis} , [Duke of Bedford]_{320-duke of bedford} , save that the name of [Ralph]_154-ralph occurred frequently in very strange connections , as if , having spoken it , [she]_0-i wished , superstitiously , to cancel it by adding some other word that robbed the sentence with [his]_154-ralph name in it of any meaning . [Those champions of the cause of women]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , did not perceive anything strange in [Mary]_175-mary ’s behavior , save that [she]_175-mary was almost half an hour later than usual in coming back to [the office]_{3177-the office} . Happily , [their]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} own affairs kept [them]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} busy , and [she]_175-mary was free from [their]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} inspection . If [they]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} had surprised [her]_175-mary [they]_{4597-those champions of the cause of women} would have found [her]_175-mary lost , apparently , in admiration of [the large hotel across [the square]_{3201-the square}]_{4599-the large hotel across the square} , for , after writing a few words , [her]_175-mary pen rested upon the paper , and [her]_175-mary mind pursued its own journey among the sun - blazoned windows and the drifts of purplish smoke which formed [her]_175-mary view . And , indeed , this background was by no means out of keeping with [her]_175-mary thoughts . [She]_175-mary saw to the remote spaces behind the strife of the foreground , enabled now to gaze there , since [she]_175-mary had renounced [her]_175-mary own demands , privileged to see the larger view , to share the vast desires and sufferings of the mass of [mankind]_4534-mankind . [She]_175-mary had been too lately and too roughly mastered by facts to take an easy pleasure in the relief of renunciation ; such satisfaction as [she]_175-mary felt came only from the discovery that , having renounced everything that made life happy , easy , splendid , individual , there remained a hard reality , unimpaired by [one]_422-one ’s personal adventures , remote as the stars , unquenchable as they are . While [Mary Datchet]_175-mary was undergoing this curious transformation from the particular to the universal , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} remembered [her]_{196-mrs. seal} duties with regard to the kettle and the gas - fire . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} was a little surprised to find that [Mary]_175-mary had drawn [her]_175-mary chair to the window , and , having lit the gas , [she]_175-mary raised [herself]_175-mary from a stooping posture and looked at [her]_175-mary . The most obvious reason for such an attitude in [a secretary]_{3752-a secretary} was some kind of indisposition . But [Mary]_175-mary , rousing [herself]_175-mary with an effort , denied that [she]_175-mary was indisposed . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i ’m frightfully lazy this afternoon , ” [she]_0-i added , with a glance at [her]_0-i table . “_[0-i] [You]_2013-you must really get [another secretary]_{2014-another secretary} , [Sally]_200-sally . ” The words were meant to be taken lightly , but something in the tone of them roused a jealous fear which was always dormant in [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s breast . [She]_0-i was terribly afraid that one of these days [Mary]_175-mary , [the young woman who typified so many rather sentimental and enthusiastic ideas , who had some sort of visionary existence in white with a sheaf of lilies in [her]_175-mary hand]_{4604-the young woman who typified so many rather sentimental and enthusiastic ideas , who had some sort of visionary existence in white with a sheaf of lilies in her hand} , would announce , in a jaunty way , that [she]_175-mary was about to be married . “_[2013-you] [You]_2013-you do n’t mean that [you]_2013-you ’re going to leave [us]_2015-we ? ” [she]_0-i said . “_[2013-you] [I]_0-i ’ve not made up [my]_0-i mind about anything , ” said [Mary]_175-mary — a remark which could be taken as a generalization . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} got the teacups out of the cupboard and set them on the table . “_[0-i] [You]_2013-you ’re not going to be married , are [you]_2013-you ? ” [she]_{196-mrs. seal} asked , pronouncing the words with nervous speed . “_[2013-you] Why are [you]_2013-you asking such absurd questions this afternoon , [Sally]_200-sally ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked , not very steadily . “_[2013-you] Must [we]_2015-we all get married ? ” [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} emitted a most peculiar chuckle . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} seemed for one moment to acknowledge the terrible side of life which is concerned with the emotions , the private lives , of [the sexes]_{3341-the sexes} , and then to sheer off from it with all possible speed into the shades of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} own shivering virginity . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} was made so uncomfortable by the turn the conversation had taken , that [she]_{196-mrs. seal} plunged [her]_{196-mrs. seal} head into the cupboard , and endeavored to abstract some very obscure piece of china . “_[2013-you] [We]_2015-we have [our]_2015-we work , ” [she]_{196-mrs. seal} said , withdrawing [her]_{196-mrs. seal} head , displaying cheeks more than usually crimson , and placing a jam - pot emphatically upon the table . But , for the moment , [she]_{196-mrs. seal} was unable to launch [herself]_{196-mrs. seal} upon one of those enthusiastic , but inconsequent , tirades upon liberty , democracy , the rights of [the people]_{3250-the people} , and the iniquities of [the Government]_{1331-the government} , in which [she]_{196-mrs. seal} delighted . Some memory from [her]_{196-mrs. seal} own past or from the past of [her]_{196-mrs. seal} sex rose to [her]_{196-mrs. seal} mind and kept [her]_{196-mrs. seal} abashed . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} glanced furtively at [Mary]_175-mary , who still sat by the window with [her]_175-mary arm upon the sill . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} noticed how young [she]_175-mary was and full of the promise of womanhood . The sight made [her]_{196-mrs. seal} so uneasy that [she]_{196-mrs. seal} fidgeted the cups upon their saucers . “_[2015-we] Yes — enough work to last a lifetime , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , as if concluding some passage of thought . [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} brightened at once . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} lamented [her]_{196-mrs. seal} lack of scientific training , and [her]_{196-mrs. seal} deficiency in the processes of logic , but [she]_{196-mrs. seal} set [her]_{196-mrs. seal} mind to work at once to make the prospects of the cause appear as alluring and important as [she]_{196-mrs. seal} could . [She]_{196-mrs. seal} delivered [herself]_{196-mrs. seal} of an harangue in which [she]_{196-mrs. seal} asked a great many rhetorical questions and answered them with a little bang of one fist upon another . “_[2015-we] To last a lifetime ? [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1178-my dear child} , it will last all [our]_2017-we lifetimes . As [one falls another]_{2018-one falls another} steps into the breach . [[My]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} , in [[his]_{2986-my father} generation]_{2020-his generation} , [a pioneer]_{2021-a pioneer} — [I]_0-i , coming after [him]_{2986-my father} , do [my]_0-i little best . What , alas ! can one do more ? And now it ’s [[you]_{1178-my dear child} [young women]_{3102-young women}]_{2022-you young women} — [we]_2017-we look to [you]_{1178-my dear child} — the future looks to [you]_{1178-my dear child} . Ah , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} , if [I]_0-i ’d a thousand lives , [I]_0-i ’d give [them]_2025-them all to [our]_2017-we cause . The cause of [women]_557-women , [d’you]_2027-d’you say ? [I]_0-i say the cause of humanity . And there are [some”—she]_{321-some”—she} glanced fiercely at the window—“who_[0-i] do n’t see it ! There are [some who are satisfied to go on , year after year , refusing to admit the truth]_{2028-some who are satisfied to go on , year after year , refusing to admit the truth} . And [we]_2017-we who have the vision — the kettle boiling over ? No , no , let [me]_0-i see to it — [we]_2017-we who know the truth , ” [she]_0-i continued , gesticulating with the kettle and the teapot . Owing to these encumbrances , perhaps , [she]_0-i lost the thread of [her]_0-i discourse , and concluded , rather wistfully , “_[2017-we] It ’s all so simple . ” [She]_0-i referred to a matter that was a perpetual source of bewilderment to [her]_0-i — the extraordinary incapacity of [the human race]_{4209-the human race} , in a world where the good is so unmistakably divided from the bad , of distinguishing one from the other , and embodying what ought to be done in a few large , simple Acts of Parliament , which would , in a very short time , completely change the lot of humanity . “_[422-one] [One]_422-one would have thought , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[422-one] that [men of University training]_{2030-men of university training} , like [Mr. Asquith]_{245-mr. asquith} — one would have thought that an appeal to reason would not be unheard by [them]_{2030-men of university training} . But reason , ” [she]_0-i reflected , “_{[196-mrs. seal]} what is reason without Reality ? ” Doing homage to the phrase , [she]_0-i repeated it once more , and caught the ear of [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , as [he]_{197-mr. clacton} issued from [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} room]_{521-his room} ; and [he]_{197-mr. clacton} repeated it a third time , giving it , as [he]_{197-mr. clacton} was in the habit of doing with [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s phrases , a dryly humorous intonation . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} was well pleased with [the world]_{478-the world} , however , and [he]_{197-mr. clacton} remarked , in a flattering manner , that [he]_{197-mr. clacton} would like to see that phrase in large letters at the head of a leaflet . “_{[196-mrs. seal]} But , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , [we]_2031-we have to aim at a judicious combination of the two , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} added in [his]_{197-mr. clacton} magisterial way to check the unbalanced enthusiasm of [the women]_{3513-the women} . “_{[196-mrs. seal]} Reality has to be voiced by reason before it can make itself felt . The weak point of all these movements , [Miss Datchet]_175-mary , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} continued , taking [his]_{197-mr. clacton} place at the table and turning to [Mary]_175-mary as usual when about to deliver [his]_{197-mr. clacton} more profound cogitations , “_[175-mary] is that they are not based upon sufficiently intellectual grounds . A mistake , in [my]_0-i opinion . [The British public]_{2032-the british public} likes a pellet of reason in its jam of eloquence — a pill of reason in its pudding of sentiment , ” [he]_{197-mr. clacton} said , sharpening the phrase to a satisfactory degree of literary precision . [His]_{197-mr. clacton} eyes rested , with something of the vanity of [an author]_{4612-an author} , upon the yellow leaflet which [Mary]_175-mary held in [her]_175-mary hand . [She]_175-mary rose , took [her]_175-mary seat at the head of the table , poured out tea for [[her]_175-mary colleagues]_{3753-her colleagues} , and gave [her]_175-mary opinion upon the leaflet . So [she]_175-mary had poured out tea , so [she]_175-mary had criticized [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ’s leaflets a hundred times already ; but now it seemed to [her]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary was doing it in a different spirit ; [she]_175-mary had enlisted in [the army]_{4614-the army} , and was [a volunteer]_{4615-a volunteer} no longer . [She]_175-mary had renounced something and was now — how could [she]_175-mary express it?—not quite “_[175-mary] in the running ” for life . [She]_175-mary had always known that [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} were not in the running , and across the gulf that separated [them]_4616-them [she]_175-mary had seen [them]_4616-them in the guise of [shadow people]_{4617-shadow people} , flitting in and out of the ranks of [the living]_{4618-the living} — [eccentrics]_{4619-eccentrics} , [undeveloped human beings]_{4620-undeveloped human beings} , from whose substance some essential part had been cut away . All this had never struck [her]_175-mary so clearly as it did this afternoon , when [she]_175-mary felt that [her]_175-mary lot was cast with [them]_4616-them for ever . One view of [the world]_{478-the world} plunged in darkness , so a more volatile temperament might have argued after a season of despair , let [the world]_{478-the world} turn again and show another , more splendid , perhaps . No , [Mary]_175-mary thought , with unflinching loyalty to what appeared to [her]_175-mary to be the true view , having lost what is best , [I]_175-mary do not mean to pretend that any other view does instead . Whatever happens , [I]_175-mary mean to have no presences in [my]_175-mary life . [Her]_175-mary very words had a sort of distinctness which is sometimes produced by sharp , bodily pain . To [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s secret jubilation the rule which forbade discussion of shop at tea - time was overlooked . [Mary]_175-mary and [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} argued with a cogency and a ferocity which made [the little woman]_{4623-the little woman} feel that something very important — [she]_175-mary hardly knew what — was taking place . [She]_175-mary became much excited ; one crucifix became entangled with another , and [she]_175-mary dug a considerable hole in the table with the point of [her]_175-mary pencil in order to emphasize the most striking heads of the discourse ; and how any combination of [Cabinet Ministers]_{4624-cabinet ministers} could resist such discourse [she]_175-mary really did not know . [She]_175-mary could hardly bring [herself]_175-mary to remember [her]_175-mary own private instrument of justice — the typewriter . The telephone - bell rang , and as [she]_175-mary hurried off to answer a voice which always seemed a proof of importance by itself , [she]_175-mary felt that it was at this exact spot on the surface of the globe that all the subterranean wires of thought and progress came together . When [she]_175-mary returned , with a message from the printer , [she]_175-mary found that [Mary]_175-mary was putting on [her]_175-mary hat firmly ; there was something imperious and dominating in [her]_175-mary attitude altogether . “_[175-mary] Look , [Sally]_200-sally , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[200-sally] these letters want copying . These [I]_0-i ’ve not looked at . The question of the new census will have to be gone into carefully . But [I]_0-i ’m going [home]_2992-home now . Good night , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} ; good night , [Sally]_200-sally . ” “_[200-sally] [We]_2034-we are very fortunate in [[our]_2034-we secretary]_{2035-our secretary} , [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , ” said [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , pausing with [her]_{196-mrs. seal} hand on the papers , as the door shut behind [Mary]_175-mary . [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} [himself]_{197-mr. clacton} had been vaguely impressed by something in [Mary]_175-mary ’s behavior towards [him]_{197-mr. clacton} . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} envisaged a time even when it would become necessary to tell [her]_175-mary that there could not be [two masters]_{4625-two masters} in [one office]_{4626-one office} — but [she]_175-mary was certainly able , very able , and in touch with [a group of very clever young men]_{4627-a group of very clever young men} . No doubt [they]_{4627-a group of very clever young men} had suggested to [her]_175-mary some of [her]_175-mary new ideas . [He]_{197-mr. clacton} signified [his]_{197-mr. clacton} assent to [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} ’s remark , but observed , with a glance at the clock , which showed only half an hour past five : “_{[197-mr. clacton]} If [she]_2036-she takes the work seriously , [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} — but that ’s just what some of [[your]_{196-mrs. seal} clever young ladies]_{2037-your clever young ladies} do n’t do . ” So saying [he]_{197-mr. clacton} returned to [[his]_{197-mr. clacton} room]_{521-his room} , and [Mrs. Seal]_{196-mrs. seal} , after a moment ’s hesitation , hurried back to [her]_175-mary labors . [Mary]_175-mary walked to [the nearest station]_{4629-the nearest station} and reached [home]_2992-home in an incredibly short space of time , just so much , indeed , as was needed for the intelligent understanding of the news of [the world]_{478-the world} as the “_{[2037-your clever young ladies]} Westminster Gazette ” reported it . Within a few minutes of opening [her]_175-mary door , [she]_175-mary was in trim for a hard evening ’s work . [She]_175-mary unlocked a drawer and took out a manuscript , which consisted of a very few pages , entitled , in a forcible hand , “_{[2037-your clever young ladies]} Some Aspects of the Democratic State . ” The aspects dwindled out in a cries - cross of blotted lines in the very middle of a sentence , and suggested that [the author]_{4632-the author} had been interrupted , or convinced of the futility of proceeding , with [her]_175-mary pen in the air .... Oh , yes , [Ralph]_154-ralph had come in at that point . [She]_175-mary scored that sheet very effectively , and , choosing a fresh one , began at a great rate with a generalization upon the structure of [human society]_{4633-human society} , which was a good deal bolder than [her]_175-mary custom . [Ralph]_154-ralph had told [her]_175-mary once that [she]_175-mary could n’t write English , which accounted for those frequent blots and insertions ; but [she]_175-mary put all that behind [her]_175-mary , and drove ahead with such words as came [her]_175-mary way , until [she]_175-mary had accomplished half a page of generalization and might legitimately draw breath . Directly [her]_175-mary hand stopped [her]_175-mary brain stopped too , and [she]_175-mary began to listen . [A paper - boy]_{4634-a paper - boy} shouted down [the street]_{397-the street} ; an omnibus ceased and lurched on again with the heave of duty once more shouldered ; the dullness of the sounds suggested that a fog had risen since [her]_175-mary return , if , indeed , a fog has power to deaden sound , of which fact , [she]_175-mary could not be sure at the present moment . It was the sort of fact [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph knew . At any rate , it was no concern of [hers]_175-mary , and [she]_175-mary was about to dip a pen when [her]_175-mary ear was caught by the sound of a step upon the stone staircase . [She]_175-mary followed it past [[Mr. Chippen]_{322-mr. chippen} ’s chambers]_{4636-mr. chippen ’s chambers} ; past [Mr. Gibson]_{323-mr. gibson} ’s ; past [Mr. Turner]_{178-mr. turner} ’s ; after which it became [her]_175-mary sound . [A postman]_{4637-a postman} , [a washerwoman]_{4638-a washerwoman} , a circular , a bill — [she]_175-mary presented [herself]_175-mary with each of these perfectly natural possibilities ; but , to [her]_175-mary surprise , [her]_175-mary mind rejected each one of them impatiently , even apprehensively . The step became slow , as it was apt to do at the end of the steep climb , and [Mary]_175-mary , listening for the regular sound , was filled with an intolerable nervousness . Leaning against the table , [she]_175-mary felt the knock of [her]_175-mary heart push [her]_175-mary body perceptibly backwards and forwards — a state of nerves astonishing and reprehensible in [a stable woman]_{4639-a stable woman} . Grotesque fancies took shape . Alone , at the top of [the house]_{377-the house} , [an unknown person]_{4641-an unknown person} approaching nearer and nearer — how could [she]_175-mary escape ? There was no way of escape . [She]_175-mary did not even know whether that oblong mark on the ceiling was a trap - door to the roof or not . And if [she]_175-mary got on to the roof — well , there was a drop of sixty feet or so on to the pavement . But [she]_175-mary sat perfectly still , and when the knock sounded , [she]_175-mary got up directly and opened the door without hesitation . [She]_175-mary saw [a tall figure outside]_{4642-a tall figure outside} , with something ominous to [her]_175-mary eyes in the look of it . “_{[2037-your clever young ladies]} What do [you]_2038-you want ? ” [she]_175-mary said , not recognizing the face in the fitful light of the staircase . “_[2038-you] [Mary]_175-mary ? [I]_0-i ’m [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ! ” [Mary]_175-mary ’s self - possession returned almost excessively , and [her]_175-mary welcome was decidedly cold , as if [she]_175-mary must recoup [herself]_175-mary for this ridiculous waste of emotion . [She]_175-mary moved [her]_175-mary green - shaded lamp to another table , and covered “_{[129-katharine]} Some Aspects of the Democratic State ” with a sheet of blotting - paper . “_{[129-katharine]} Why ca n’t [they]_2039-they leave [me]_0-i alone ? ” [she]_175-mary thought bitterly , connecting [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph in a conspiracy to take from [her]_175-mary even this hour of solitary study , even this poor little defence against [the world]_{478-the world} . And , as [she]_175-mary smoothed down the sheet of blotting - paper over the manuscript , [she]_175-mary braced [herself]_175-mary to resist [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , whose presence struck [her]_175-mary , not merely by its force , as usual , but as something in the nature of a menace . “_[2039-they] [You]_0-i ’re working ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with hesitation , perceiving that [she]_0-i was not welcome . “_[2039-they] Nothing that matters , ” [Mary]_175-mary replied , drawing forward the best of the chairs and poking the fire . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did n’t know [you]_0-i had to work after [you]_0-i had left [the office]_{3177-the office} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , in a tone which gave the impression that [she]_{129-katharine} was thinking of something else , as was , indeed , the case . [She]_{129-katharine} had been paying calls with [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , and in between the calls [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had rushed into [shops]_4645-shops and bought pillow - cases and blotting - books on no perceptible method for the furnishing of [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s house]_{1327-katharine ’s house} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had a sense of impedimenta accumulating on all sides of [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} had left [her]_{129-katharine} at length , and had come on to keep an engagement to dine with [Rodney]_176-rodney at [[his]_176-rodney rooms]_{985-his rooms} . But [she]_{129-katharine} did not mean to get to [him]_176-rodney before seven o’clock , and so had plenty of time to walk all the way from [Bond Street]_{77-bond street} to [the Temple]_{1095-the temple} if [she]_{129-katharine} wished it . The flow of faces streaming on either side of [her]_{129-katharine} had hypnotized [her]_{129-katharine} into a mood of profound despondency , to which [her]_{129-katharine} expectation of an evening alone with [Rodney]_176-rodney contributed . [They]_4649-they were [very good friends]_{4650-very good friends} again , [better friends]_{4651-better friends} , [they]_4649-they both said , than ever before . So far as [she]_{129-katharine} was concerned this was true . There were many more things in [him]_176-rodney than [she]_{129-katharine} had guessed until emotion brought them forth — strength , affection , sympathy . And [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [them]_2041-them and looked at the faces passing , and thought how much alike [they]_2041-them were , and how distant , [nobody]_2970-nobody feeling anything as [she]_{129-katharine} felt nothing , and distance , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , lay inevitably between the closest , and [their]_2041-them intimacy was the worst presence of all . For , “_[0-i] Oh dear , ” [she]_{129-katharine} thought , looking into [a tobacconist]_{4653-a tobacconist} ’s window , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t care for any of [them]_2041-them , and [I]_0-i do n’t care for [William]_176-rodney , and [people]_383-people say this is the thing that matters most , and [I]_0-i ca n’t see what [they]_383-people mean by it . ” [She]_{129-katharine} looked desperately at the smooth - bowled pipes , and wondered — should [she]_{129-katharine} walk on by [the Strand]_{811-the strand} or by [the Embankment]_{78-the embankment} ? It was not a simple question , for it concerned not [different streets]_{4655-different streets} so much as different streams of thought . If [she]_{129-katharine} went by [the Strand]_{811-the strand} [she]_{129-katharine} would force [herself]_{129-katharine} to think out the problem of the future , or some mathematical problem ; if [she]_{129-katharine} went by [the river]_{945-the river} [she]_{129-katharine} would certainly begin to think about things that did n’t exist — [the forest]_{4658-the forest} , [the ocean beach]_{4659-the ocean beach} , the leafy solitudes , [the magnanimous hero]_{4042-the magnanimous hero} . No , no , no ! A thousand times no!—it would n’t do ; there was something repulsive in such thoughts at present ; [she]_{129-katharine} must take something else ; [she]_{129-katharine} was out of that mood at present . And then [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [Mary]_175-mary ; the thought gave [her]_{129-katharine} confidence , even pleasure of a sad sort , as if the triumph of [Ralph]_154-ralph and [Mary]_175-mary proved that the fault of [her]_{129-katharine} failure lay with [herself]_{129-katharine} and not with life . An indistinct idea that the sight of [Mary]_175-mary might be of help , combined with [her]_175-mary natural trust in [her]_175-mary , suggested a visit ; for , surely , [her]_175-mary liking was of a kind that implied liking upon [Mary]_175-mary ’s side also . After a moment ’s hesitation [she]_{129-katharine} decided , although [she]_{129-katharine} seldom acted upon impulse , to act upon this one , and turned down [a side street]_{4661-a side street} and found [Mary]_175-mary ’s door . But [her]_{129-katharine} reception was not encouraging ; clearly [Mary]_175-mary did n’t want to see [her]_175-mary , had no help to impart , and the half - formed desire to confide in [her]_175-mary was quenched immediately . [She]_{129-katharine} was slightly amused at [her]_{129-katharine} own delusion , looked rather absent - minded , and swung [her]_{129-katharine} gloves to and fro , as if doling out the few minutes accurately before [she]_{129-katharine} could say good - by . Those few minutes might very well be spent in asking for information as to the exact position of the Suffrage Bill , or in expounding [her]_{129-katharine} own very sensible view of the situation . But there was a tone in [her]_{129-katharine} voice , or a shade in [her]_{129-katharine} opinions , or a swing of [her]_{129-katharine} gloves which served to irritate [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , whose manner became increasingly direct , abrupt , and even antagonistic . [She]_{129-katharine} became conscious of a wish to make [Katharine]_{129-katharine} realize the importance of this work , which [she]_{129-katharine} discussed so coolly , as though [she]_{129-katharine} , too , had sacrificed what [Mary]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary had sacrificed . The swinging of the gloves ceased , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , after ten minutes , began to make movements preliminary to departure . At the sight of this , [Mary]_175-mary was aware — [she]_175-mary was abnormally aware of things to - night — of another very strong desire ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was not to be allowed to go , to disappear into the free , happy world of [irresponsible individuals]_{4662-irresponsible individuals} . [She]_{129-katharine} must be made to realize — to feel . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t quite see , ” [she]_0-i said , as if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had challenged [her]_0-i explicitly , “_[0-i] how , things being as they are , [any one]_{2939-any one} can help trying , at least , to do something . ” “_[0-i] No . But how are things ? ” [Mary]_175-mary pressed [her]_175-mary lips , and smiled ironically ; [she]_175-mary had [Katharine]_{129-katharine} at [her]_175-mary mercy ; [she]_175-mary could , if [she]_175-mary liked , discharge upon [her]_175-mary head wagon - loads of revolting proof of the state of things ignored by [the casual]_{4663-the casual} , [the amateur]_{4664-the amateur} , [the looker - on]_{4665-the looker - on} , [the cynical observer of life at a distance]_{4666-the cynical observer of life at a distance} . And yet [she]_175-mary hesitated . As usual , when [she]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary in talk with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_175-mary began to feel rapid alternations of opinion about [her]_{129-katharine} , arrows of sensation striking strangely through the envelope of personality , which shelters [us]_4667-us so conveniently from [[our]_4667-us fellows]_{4668-our fellows} . What [an egoist]_{3061-an egoist} , how aloof [she]_{129-katharine} was ! And yet , not in [her]_{129-katharine} words , perhaps , but in [her]_{129-katharine} voice , in [her]_{129-katharine} face , in [her]_{129-katharine} attitude , there were signs of a soft brooding spirit , of a sensibility unblunted and profound , playing over [her]_{129-katharine} thoughts and deeds , and investing [her]_{129-katharine} manner with an habitual gentleness . The arguments and phrases of [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} fell flat against such armor . “_[2044-you] [You]_2044-you ’ll be married , and [you]_2044-you ’ll have other things to think of , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said inconsequently , and with an accent of condescension . [She]_{129-katharine} was not going to make [Katharine]_{129-katharine} understand in a second , as [she]_{129-katharine} would , all [she]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} had learnt at the cost of such pain . No . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was to be happy ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was to be ignorant ; [Mary]_175-mary was to keep this knowledge of the impersonal life for [herself]_175-mary . The thought of [her]_175-mary morning ’s renunciation stung [her]_175-mary conscience , and [she]_175-mary tried to expand once more into that impersonal condition which was so lofty and so painless . [She]_175-mary must check this desire to be [an individual]_{4577-an individual} again , whose wishes were in conflict with those of [other people]_{2964-other people} . [She]_{129-katharine} repented of [her]_{129-katharine} bitterness . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} now renewed [her]_{129-katharine} signs of leave - taking ; [she]_{129-katharine} had drawn on one of [her]_{129-katharine} gloves , and looked about [her]_{129-katharine} as if in search of some trivial saying to end with . Was n’t there some picture , or clock , or chest of drawers which might be singled out for notice ? something peaceable and friendly to end the uncomfortable interview ? The green - shaded lamp burnt in the corner , and illumined books and pens and blotting - paper . The whole aspect of [the place]_{4672-the place} started another train of thought and struck [her]_{129-katharine} as enviably free ; in [such a room]_{4673-such a room} [one]_422-one could work — [one]_422-one could have a life of [one]_422-one ’s own . “_[2044-you] [I]_0-i think [you]_2045-you ’re very lucky , ” [she]_0-i observed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i envy [you]_2045-you , living alone and having [your]_2045-you own things”—and engaged in this exalted way , which had no recognition or engagement - ring , [she]_0-i added in [her]_0-i own mind . [Mary]_175-mary ’s lips parted slightly . [She]_175-mary could not conceive in what respects [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who spoke sincerely , could envy [her]_175-mary . “_[2044-you] [I]_0-i do n’t think [you]_2045-you ’ve got any reason to envy [me]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[2045-you] Perhaps one always envies [other people]_{2964-other people} , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed vaguely . “_[2045-you] Well , but [you]_2045-you ’ve got everything that [any one]_{2939-any one} can want . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remained silent . [She]_{129-katharine} gazed into the fire quietly , and without a trace of self - consciousness . The hostility which [she]_{129-katharine} had divined in [Mary]_175-mary ’s tone had completely disappeared , and [she]_{129-katharine} forgot that [she]_{129-katharine} had been upon the point of going . “_[2045-you] Well , [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i have , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said at length . “_[0-i] And yet [I]_0-i sometimes think — ” [She]_0-i paused ; [she]_0-i did not know how to express what [she]_0-i meant . “_[0-i] It came over [me]_0-i in the Tube the other day , ” [she]_0-i resumed , with a smile ; “_[0-i] what is it that makes [these people]_{3047-these people} go one way rather than the other ? It ’s not love ; it ’s not reason ; [I]_0-i think it must be some idea . Perhaps , [Mary]_175-mary , [our]_2049-our affections are the shadow of an idea . Perhaps there is n’t any such thing as affection in itself .... ” [She]_0-i spoke half - mockingly , asking [her]_0-i question , which [she]_0-i scarcely troubled to frame , not of [Mary]_175-mary , or of [any one in particular]_{4677-any one in particular} . But the words seemed to [Mary]_175-mary Datchet shallow , supercilious , cold - blooded , and cynical all in one . All [her]_0-i natural instincts were roused in revolt against [them]_{3047-these people} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m the opposite way of thinking , [you]_175-mary see , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] Yes ; [I]_0-i know [you]_0-i are , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied , looking at [her]_0-i as if now [she]_{129-katharine} were about , perhaps , to explain something very important . [Mary]_175-mary could not help feeling the simplicity and good faith that lay behind [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s words . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think affection is the only reality , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , almost sadly . [She]_{129-katharine} understood that [Mary]_175-mary was thinking of [Ralph]_154-ralph , and [she]_{129-katharine} felt it impossible to press [her]_175-mary to reveal more of this exalted condition ; [she]_{129-katharine} could only respect the fact that , in some few cases , life arranged itself thus satisfactorily and pass on . [She]_{129-katharine} rose to [her]_{129-katharine} feet accordingly . But [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed , with unmistakable earnestness , that [she]_175-mary must not go ; that [they]_4678-they met so seldom ; that [she]_175-mary wanted to talk to [her]_175-mary so much .... [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was surprised at the earnestness with which [she]_{129-katharine} spoke . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that there could be no indiscretion in mentioning [Ralph]_154-ralph by name . Seating [herself]_0-i “_[0-i] for ten minutes , ” [she]_0-i said : “_[0-i] By the way , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham told [me]_0-i [he]_131-denham was going to give up [the Bar]_{3870-the bar} and live in [the country]_{761-the country} . Has [he]_131-denham gone ? [He]_131-denham was beginning to tell [me]_0-i about it , when [we]_2052-we were interrupted . ” “_[131-denham] [He]_131-denham thinks of it , ” said [Mary]_175-mary briefly . The color at once came to [her]_175-mary face . “_[131-denham] It would be a very good plan , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in [her]_{129-katharine} decided way . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i think so ? ” “_[0-i] Yes , because [he]_131-denham would do something worth while ; [he]_131-denham would write a book . [[My]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} always says that [he]_131-denham ’s [the most remarkable of [the young men who write for [him]_131-denham]_{2055-the young men who write for him}]_{2054-the most remarkable of the young men who write for him} . ” [Mary]_175-mary bent low over the fire and stirred the coal between the bars with a poker . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s mention of [Ralph]_154-ralph had roused within [her]_{129-katharine} an almost irresistible desire to explain to [her]_{129-katharine} the true state of the case between [herself]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} knew , from the tone of [her]_{129-katharine} voice , that in speaking of [Ralph]_154-ralph [she]_{129-katharine} had no desire to probe [Mary]_175-mary ’s secrets , or to insinuate any of [her]_{129-katharine} own . Moreover , [she]_{129-katharine} liked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [she]_{129-katharine} trusted [her]_{129-katharine} ; [she]_{129-katharine} felt a respect for [her]_{129-katharine} . The first step of confidence was comparatively simple ; but a further confidence had revealed itself , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} spoke , which was not so simple , and yet it impressed itself upon [her]_{129-katharine} as a necessity ; [she]_{129-katharine} must tell [Katharine]_{129-katharine} what it was clear that [she]_{129-katharine} had no conception of — [she]_{129-katharine} must tell [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [Ralph]_154-ralph was in love with [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[131-denham] [I]_0-i do n’t know what [he]_2056-he means to do , ” [she]_0-i said hurriedly , seeking time against the pressure of [her]_0-i own conviction . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve not seen [him]_2056-he since Christmas . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reflected that this was odd ; perhaps , after all , [she]_{129-katharine} had misunderstood the position . [She]_{129-katharine} was in the habit of assuming , however , that [she]_{129-katharine} was rather unobservant of the finer shades of feeling , and [she]_{129-katharine} noted [her]_{129-katharine} present failure as another proof that [she]_{129-katharine} was [a practical , abstract - minded person]_{4679-a practical , abstract - minded person} , better fitted to deal with figures than with the feelings of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women . Anyhow , [William Rodney]_176-rodney would say so . “_[2056-he] And now — ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[2056-he] Oh , please stay ! ” [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed , putting out [her]_175-mary hand to stop [her]_{129-katharine} . Directly [Katharine]_{129-katharine} moved [she]_{129-katharine} felt , inarticulately and violently , that [she]_{129-katharine} could not bear to let [her]_{129-katharine} go . If [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went , [her]_{129-katharine} only chance of speaking was lost ; [her]_{129-katharine} only chance of saying something tremendously important was lost . Half a dozen words were sufficient to wake [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s attention , and put flight and further silence beyond [her]_{129-katharine} power . But although the words came to [her]_{129-katharine} lips , [her]_{129-katharine} throat closed upon them and drove them back . After all , [she]_{129-katharine} considered , why should [she]_{129-katharine} speak ? Because it is right , [her]_{129-katharine} instinct told [her]_{129-katharine} ; right to expose [oneself]_4682-oneself without reservations to [other human beings]_{4683-other human beings} . [She]_{129-katharine} flinched from the thought . [It]_4684-it asked too much of one already stripped bare . Something [she]_{129-katharine} must keep of [her]_{129-katharine} own . But if [she]_{129-katharine} did keep something of [her]_{129-katharine} own ? Immediately [she]_{129-katharine} figured an immured life , continuing for an immense period , the same feelings living for ever , neither dwindling nor changing within the ring of a thick stone wall . The imagination of this loneliness frightened [her]_{129-katharine} , and yet to speak — to lose [her]_{129-katharine} loneliness , for it had already become dear to [her]_{129-katharine} , was beyond [her]_{129-katharine} power . [Her]_0-i hand went down to the hem of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s skirt , and , fingering a line of fur , [she]_0-i bent [her]_0-i head as if to examine it . “_[2056-he] [I]_0-i like this fur , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i like [your]_2057-you clothes . And [you]_2057-you must n’t think that [I]_0-i ’m going to marry [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i continued , in the same tone , “_[154-ralph] because [he]_154-ralph does n’t care for [me]_0-i at all . [He]_154-ralph cares for [some one else]_{1931-some one else} . ” [Her]_0-i head remained bent , and [her]_0-i hand still rested upon the skirt . “_[154-ralph] It ’s a shabby old dress , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and the only sign that [Mary]_175-mary ’s words had reached [her]_0-i was that [she]_175-mary spoke with a little jerk . “_[154-ralph] [You]_2057-you do n’t mind [my]_0-i telling [you]_2057-you that ? ” said [Mary]_175-mary , raising [herself]_0-i . “_[2057-you] No , no , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; “_[2057-you] but [you]_0-i ’re mistaken , are n’t [you]_0-i ? ” [She]_0-i was , in truth , horribly uncomfortable , dismayed , indeed , disillusioned . [She]_0-i disliked the turn things had taken quite intensely . The indecency of it afflicted [her]_0-i . The suffering implied by the tone appalled [her]_0-i . [She]_0-i looked at [Mary]_175-mary furtively , with eyes that were full of apprehension . But if [she]_0-i had hoped to find that these words had been spoken without understanding of their meaning , [she]_0-i was at once disappointed . [Mary]_175-mary lay back in [her]_175-mary chair , frowning slightly , and looking , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought , as if [she]_0-i had lived fifteen years or so in the space of a few minutes . “_[0-i] There are some things , do n’t [you]_2057-you think , that one ca n’t be mistaken about ? ” [Mary]_175-mary said , quietly and almost coldly . “_[2057-you] That is what puzzles [me]_0-i about this question of being in love . [I]_0-i ’ve always prided [myself]_0-i upon being reasonable , ” [she]_0-i added . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did n’t think [I]_0-i could have felt this — [I]_0-i mean if [the other person]_{2059-the other person} did n’t . [I]_0-i was foolish . [I]_0-i let [myself]_0-i pretend . ” Here [she]_0-i paused . “_[0-i] For , [you]_2057-you see , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i proceeded , rousing [herself]_0-i and speaking with greater energy , “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i am in love . There ’s no doubt about that .... [I]_0-i ’m tremendously in love ... with [Ralph]_154-ralph . ” The little forward shake of [her]_0-i head , which shook a lock of hair , together with [her]_0-i brighter color , gave [her]_0-i an appearance at once proud and defiant . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought to [herself]_{129-katharine} , “_[154-ralph] That ’s how it feels then . ” [She]_{129-katharine} hesitated , with a feeling that it was not for [her]_{129-katharine} to speak ; and then said , in a low tone , “_[154-ralph] [You]_2057-you ’ve got that . ” “_[2057-you] Yes , ” said [Mary]_175-mary ; “_[2057-you] [I]_0-i ’ve got that . [One]_422-one would n’t not be in love .... But [I]_0-i did n’t mean to talk about that ; [I]_0-i only wanted [you]_2057-you to know . There ’s another thing [I]_0-i want to tell [you]_2057-you ... ” [She]_0-i paused . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have n’t any authority from [Ralph]_154-ralph to say it ; but [I]_0-i ’m sure of this — [he]_154-ralph ’s in love with [you]_2057-you . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [her]_175-mary again , as if [her]_{129-katharine} first glance must have been deluded , for , surely , there must be some outward sign that [Mary]_175-mary was talking in an excited , or bewildered , or fantastic manner . No ; [she]_175-mary still frowned , as if [she]_175-mary sought [her]_175-mary way through the clauses of a difficult argument , but [she]_175-mary still looked more like one who reasons than one who feels . “_[154-ralph] That proves that [you]_2057-you ’re mistaken — utterly mistaken , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , speaking reasonably , too . [She]_{129-katharine} had no need to verify the mistake by a glance at [her]_{129-katharine} own recollections , when the fact was so clearly stamped upon [her]_{129-katharine} mind that if [Ralph]_154-ralph had any feeling towards [her]_{129-katharine} it was one of critical hostility . [She]_{129-katharine} did not give the matter another thought , and [Mary]_175-mary , now that [she]_175-mary had stated the fact , did not seek to prove it , but tried to explain to [herself]_175-mary , rather than to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [her]_175-mary motives in making the statement . [She]_{129-katharine} had nerved [herself]_{129-katharine} to do what some large and imperious instinct demanded [her]_{129-katharine} doing ; [she]_{129-katharine} had been swept on the breast of a wave beyond [her]_{129-katharine} reckoning . “_[2057-you] [I]_0-i ’ve told [you]_2057-you , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[0-i] because [I]_0-i want [you]_2057-you to help [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i do n’t want to be jealous of [you]_2057-you . And [I]_0-i am — [I’m]_0-i fearfully jealous . The only way , [I]_0-i thought , was to tell [you]_2057-you . ” [She]_0-i hesitated , and groped in [her]_0-i endeavor to make [her]_0-i feelings clear to [herself]_0-i . “_[0-i] If [I]_0-i tell [you]_2057-you , then [we]_2061-we can talk ; and when [I]_0-i ’m jealous , [I]_0-i can tell [you]_2057-you . And if [I]_0-i ’m tempted to do something frightfully mean , [I]_0-i can tell [you]_2057-you ; [you]_2057-you could make [me]_0-i tell [you]_2057-you . [I]_0-i find talking so difficult ; but loneliness frightens [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i should shut it up in [my]_0-i mind . Yes , that ’s what [I]_0-i ’m afraid of . Going about with something in [my]_0-i mind all [my]_0-i life that never changes . [I]_0-i find it so difficult to change . When [I]_0-i think a thing ’s wrong [I]_0-i never stop thinking it wrong , and [Ralph]_154-ralph was quite right , [I]_0-i see , when [he]_154-ralph said that there ’s no such thing as right and wrong ; no such thing , [I]_0-i mean , as judging [people]_383-people — ” “_[154-ralph] [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph said that ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with considerable indignation . In order to have produced such suffering in [Mary]_175-mary , it seemed to [her]_175-mary that [he]_154-ralph must have behaved with extreme callousness . It seemed to [her]_175-mary that [he]_154-ralph had discarded the friendship , when it suited [his]_154-ralph convenience to do so , with some falsely philosophical theory which made [his]_154-ralph conduct all the worse . [She]_175-mary was going on to express [herself]_175-mary thus , had not [Mary]_175-mary at once interrupted [her]_175-mary . “_[154-ralph] No , no , ” [she]_175-mary said ; “_[154-ralph] [you]_2063-you do n’t understand . If there ’s any fault it ’s [mine]_2064-mine entirely ; after all , if one chooses to run risks — ” [Her]_175-mary voice faltered into silence . It was borne in upon [her]_175-mary how completely in running [her]_175-mary risk [she]_175-mary had lost [her]_175-mary prize , lost it so entirely that [she]_175-mary had no longer the right , in talking of [Ralph]_154-ralph , to presume that [her]_175-mary knowledge of [him]_154-ralph supplanted all other knowledge . [She]_175-mary no longer completely possessed [her]_175-mary love , since [his]_154-ralph share in it was doubtful ; and now , to make things yet more bitter , [her]_175-mary clear vision of the way to face life was rendered tremulous and uncertain , because [another]_3114-another was witness of it . Feeling [her]_175-mary desire for the old unshared intimacy too great to be borne without tears , [she]_175-mary rose , walked to the farther end of [the room]_{379-the room} , held the curtains apart , and stood there mastered for a moment . The grief itself was not ignoble ; the sting of it lay in the fact that [she]_175-mary had been led to this act of treachery against [herself]_175-mary . Trapped , cheated , robbed , first by [Ralph]_154-ralph and then by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_175-mary seemed all dissolved in humiliation , and bereft of anything [she]_175-mary could call [her]_175-mary own . Tears of weakness welled up and rolled down [her]_175-mary cheeks . But tears , at least , [she]_175-mary could control , and would this instant , and then , turning , [she]_175-mary would face [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and retrieve what could be retrieved of the collapse of [her]_175-mary courage . [She]_175-mary turned . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had not moved ; [she]_{129-katharine} was leaning a little forward in [her]_{129-katharine} chair and looking into the fire . Something in the attitude reminded [Mary]_175-mary of [Ralph]_154-ralph . So [he]_154-ralph would sit , leaning forward , looking rather fixedly in front of [him]_154-ralph , while [his]_154-ralph mind went far away , exploring , speculating , until [he]_154-ralph broke off with [his]_154-ralph , “_[2065-she] Well , [Mary?”—and]_{324-mary?”—and} the silence , that had been so full of romance to [her]_175-mary , gave way to the most delightful talk that [she]_175-mary had ever known . Something unfamiliar in the pose of [the silent figure]_{4687-the silent figure} , something still , solemn , significant about it , made [her]_175-mary hold [her]_175-mary breath . [She]_175-mary paused . [Her]_175-mary thoughts were without bitterness . [She]_175-mary was surprised by [her]_175-mary own quiet and confidence . [She]_175-mary came back silently , and sat once more by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s side . [Mary]_175-mary had no wish to speak . In the silence [she]_175-mary seemed to have lost [her]_175-mary isolation ; [she]_175-mary was at once [the sufferer and the pitiful spectator of suffering]_{4688-the sufferer and the pitiful spectator of suffering} ; [she]_175-mary was happier than [she]_175-mary had ever been ; [she]_175-mary was more bereft ; [she]_175-mary was rejected , and [she]_175-mary was immensely beloved . Attempt to express these sensations was vain , and , moreover , [she]_175-mary could not help believing that , without any words on [her]_175-mary side , they were shared . Thus for some time longer [they]_4689-they sat silent , side by side , while [Mary]_175-mary fingered the fur on the skirt of the old dress . The fact that [she]_175-mary would be late in keeping [her]_175-mary engagement with [William]_176-rodney was not the only reason which sent [Katharine]_{129-katharine} almost at racing speed along the Strand in the direction of [[his]_176-rodney rooms]_{985-his rooms} . Punctuality might have been achieved by taking [a cab]_{3079-a cab} , had [she]_175-mary not wished the open air to fan into flame the glow kindled by [Mary]_175-mary ’s words . For among all the impressions of the evening ’s talk one was of the nature of a revelation and subdued the rest to insignificance . Thus [one]_422-one looked ; thus [one]_422-one spoke ; such was love . “_[2065-she] [She]_2065-she sat up straight and looked at [me]_0-i , and then [she]_2065-she said , ‘ [I]_0-i ’m in love , ’ ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} mused , trying to set the whole scene in motion . It was a scene to dwell on with so much wonder that not a grain of pity occurred to [her]_175-mary ; it was a flame blazing suddenly in the dark ; by its light [Katharine]_{129-katharine} perceived far too vividly for [her]_{129-katharine} comfort the mediocrity , indeed the entirely fictitious character of [her]_{129-katharine} own feelings so far as they pretended to correspond with [Mary]_175-mary ’s feelings . [She]_175-mary made up [her]_175-mary mind to act instantly upon the knowledge thus gained , and cast [her]_175-mary mind in amazement back to the scene upon the heath , when [she]_175-mary had yielded , heaven knows why , for reasons which seemed now imperceptible . So in broad daylight one might revisit the place where [one]_422-one has groped and turned and succumbed to utter bewilderment in a fog . “_[2065-she] It ’s all so simple , ” [she]_175-mary said to [herself]_175-mary . “_[2065-she] There ca n’t be any doubt . [I]_0-i ’ve only got to speak now . [I]_0-i ’ve only got to speak , ” [she]_0-i went on saying , in time to [her]_0-i own footsteps , and completely forgot [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [William Rodney]_176-rodney , having come back earlier from [the office]_{3177-the office} than [he]_176-rodney expected , sat down to pick out the melodies in “_[0-i] The Magic Flute ” upon the piano . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was late , but that was nothing new , and , as [she]_{129-katharine} had no particular liking for music , and [he]_176-rodney felt in the mood for it , perhaps it was as well . This defect in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was the more strange , [William]_176-rodney reflected , because , as a rule , [the women of [[her]_{129-katharine} family]_{463-her family}]_{4696-the women of her family} were unusually musical . [[Her]_{129-katharine} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} , [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} , for example , had a very fine taste in music , and [he]_176-rodney had charming recollections of [her]_{129-katharine} in a light fantastic attitude , playing the flute in [the morning - room at [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house}]_{4699-the morning - room at stogdon house} . [He]_176-rodney recalled with pleasure the amusing way in which [her]_{129-katharine} nose , long like all the [Otway]_{303-cassandra} noses , seemed to extend itself into the flute , as if [she]_{129-katharine} were some inimitably graceful species of musical mole . The little picture suggested very happily [her]_{129-katharine} melodious and whimsical temperament . The enthusiasms of [a young girl of distinguished upbringing]_{4700-a young girl of distinguished upbringing} appealed to [William]_176-rodney , and suggested a thousand ways in which , with [his]_176-rodney training and accomplishments , [he]_176-rodney could be of service to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} ought to be given the chance of hearing good music , as it is played by [those who have inherited the great tradition]_{4701-those who have inherited the great tradition} . Moreover , from one or two remarks let fall in the course of conversation , [he]_176-rodney thought it possible that [she]_{129-katharine} had what [Katharine]_{129-katharine} professed to lack , a passionate , if untaught , appreciation of literature . [He]_176-rodney had lent [her]_{129-katharine} [his]_176-rodney play . Meanwhile , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was certain to be late , and “_[2065-she] The Magic Flute ” is nothing without a voice , [he]_176-rodney felt inclined to spend the time of waiting in writing a letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , exhorting [her]_{303-cassandra} to read [Pope]_325-pope in preference to [Dostoevsky]_{247-dostoevsky} , until [her]_{303-cassandra} feeling for form was more highly developed . [He]_176-rodney set [himself]_176-rodney down to compose this piece of advice in a shape which was light and playful , and yet did no injury to a cause which [he]_176-rodney had near at heart , when [he]_176-rodney heard [Katharine]_{129-katharine} upon the stairs . A moment later it was plain that [he]_176-rodney had been mistaken , it was not [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; but [he]_176-rodney could not settle [himself]_176-rodney to [his]_176-rodney letter . [His]_176-rodney temper had changed from one of urbane contentment — indeed of delicious expansion — to one of uneasiness and expectation . The dinner was brought in , and had to be set by the fire to keep hot . It was now a quarter of an hour beyond the specified time . [He]_176-rodney bethought [him]_176-rodney of a piece of news which had depressed [him]_176-rodney in the earlier part of the day . Owing to the illness of [one of [[his]_176-rodney fellow - clerks]_{4703-his fellow - clerks}]_{4702-one of his fellow - clerks} , it was likely that [he]_176-rodney would get no holiday until later in the year , which would mean the postponement of [their]_4704-their marriage . But this possibility , after all , was not so disagreeable as the probability which forced itself upon [him]_176-rodney with every tick of the clock that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had completely forgotten [her]_{129-katharine} engagement . Such things had happened less frequently since Christmas , but what if [they]_4704-their were going to begin to happen again ? What if [their]_4704-their marriage should turn out , as [she]_{129-katharine} had said , a farce ? [He]_176-rodney acquitted [her]_{129-katharine} of any wish to hurt [him]_176-rodney wantonly , but there was something in [her]_{129-katharine} character which made it impossible for [her]_{129-katharine} to help hurting [people]_383-people . Was [she]_{129-katharine} cold ? Was [she]_{129-katharine} self - absorbed ? [He]_176-rodney tried to fit [her]_{129-katharine} with each of these descriptions , but [he]_176-rodney had to own that [she]_{129-katharine} puzzled [him]_176-rodney . “_[2066-she] There are so many things that [she]_2066-she does n’t understand , ” [he]_176-rodney reflected , glancing at the letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} which [he]_176-rodney had begun and laid aside . What prevented [him]_176-rodney from finishing the letter which [he]_176-rodney had so much enjoyed beginning ? The reason was that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} might , at any moment , enter [the room]_{379-the room} . The thought , implying [his]_176-rodney bondage to [her]_{129-katharine} , irritated [him]_176-rodney acutely . It occurred to [him]_176-rodney that [he]_176-rodney would leave the letter lying open for [her]_{129-katharine} to see , and [he]_176-rodney would take the opportunity of telling [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_176-rodney had sent [his]_176-rodney play to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} for [her]_{129-katharine} to criticize . Possibly , but not by any means certainly , this would annoy [her]_{129-katharine} — and as [he]_176-rodney reached the doubtful comfort of this conclusion , there was a knock on the door and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} came in . [They]_4707-they kissed [each other]_{451-each other} coldly and [she]_{129-katharine} made no apology for being late . Nevertheless , [her]_{129-katharine} mere presence moved [him]_176-rodney strangely ; but [he]_176-rodney was determined that this should not weaken [his]_176-rodney resolution to make some kind of stand against [her]_{129-katharine} ; to get at the truth about [her]_{129-katharine} . [He]_176-rodney let [her]_{129-katharine} make [her]_{129-katharine} own disposition of clothes and busied [himself]_176-rodney with the plates . “_[2066-she] [I]_0-i ’ve got a piece of news for [you]_2067-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney said directly [they]_2068-they sat down to table ; “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i sha n’t get [my]_0-i holiday in April . [We]_2068-they shall have to put off [our]_2068-they marriage . ” [He]_176-rodney rapped the words out with a certain degree of briskness . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} started a little , as if the announcement disturbed [her]_{129-katharine} thoughts . “_[2066-she] That wo n’t make any difference , will it ? [I]_0-i mean the lease is n’t signed , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] But why ? What has happened ? ” [He]_176-rodney told [her]_{129-katharine} , in an off - hand way , how [one of [[his]_176-rodney fellow - clerks]_{4703-his fellow - clerks}]_{4702-one of his fellow - clerks} had broken down , and might have to be away for months , six months even , in which case [they]_2068-they would have to think over [their]_2068-they position . [He]_176-rodney said it in a way which struck [her]_{129-katharine} , at last , as oddly casual . [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_176-rodney . There was no outward sign that [he]_176-rodney was annoyed with [her]_{129-katharine} . Was [she]_{129-katharine} well dressed ? [She]_{129-katharine} thought sufficiently so . Perhaps [she]_{129-katharine} was late ? [She]_{129-katharine} looked for a clock . “_[0-i] It ’s a good thing [we]_2069-we did n’t take [the house]_{377-the house} then , ” [she]_{129-katharine} repeated thoughtfully . “_[2069-we] It ’ll mean , too , [I]_0-i ’m afraid , that [I]_0-i sha n’t be as free for a considerable time as [I]_0-i have been , ” [he]_176-rodney continued . [She]_{129-katharine} had time to reflect that [she]_{129-katharine} gained something by all this , though it was too soon to determine what . But the light which had been burning with such intensity as [she]_{129-katharine} came along was suddenly overclouded , as much by [his]_176-rodney manner as by [his]_176-rodney news . [She]_{129-katharine} had been prepared to meet opposition , which is simple to encounter compared with — [she]_{129-katharine} did not know what it was that [she]_{129-katharine} had to encounter . The meal passed in quiet , well - controlled talk about indifferent things . Music was not a subject about which [she]_{129-katharine} knew anything , but [she]_{129-katharine} liked [him]_176-rodney to tell [her]_{129-katharine} things ; and could , [she]_{129-katharine} mused , as [he]_176-rodney talked , fancy the evenings of married life spent thus , over the fire ; spent thus , or with a book , perhaps , for then [she]_{129-katharine} would have time to read [her]_{129-katharine} books , and to grasp firmly with every muscle of [her]_{129-katharine} unused mind what [she]_{129-katharine} longed to know . The atmosphere was very free . Suddenly [William]_176-rodney broke off . [She]_{129-katharine} looked up apprehensively , brushing aside these thoughts with annoyance . “_[0-i] Where should [I]_0-i address a letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked [her]_{129-katharine} . It was obvious again that [William]_176-rodney had some meaning or other to - night , or was in some mood . “_{[303-cassandra]} [We]_2071-we ’ve struck up a friendship , ” [he]_176-rodney added . “_[2071-we] [She]_{303-cassandra} ’s at [home]_2992-home , [I]_0-i think , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] [They]_2073-they keep [her]_{303-cassandra} too much at [home]_2992-home , ” said [William]_176-rodney . “_[2073-they] Why do n’t [you]_0-i ask [her]_{303-cassandra} to stay with [you]_0-i , and let [her]_{303-cassandra} hear a little good music ? [I]_0-i ’ll just finish what [I]_0-i was saying , if [you]_0-i do n’t mind , because [I]_0-i ’m particularly anxious that [she]_{303-cassandra} should hear to - morrow . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sank back in [her]_{129-katharine} chair , and [Rodney]_176-rodney took the paper on [his]_176-rodney knees , and went on with [his]_176-rodney sentence . “_[0-i] Style , [you]_0-i know , is what [we]_2075-we tend to neglect — “ ; but [he]_176-rodney was far more conscious of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s eye upon [him]_176-rodney than of what [he]_176-rodney was saying about style . [He]_176-rodney knew that [she]_{129-katharine} was looking at [him]_176-rodney , but whether with irritation or indifference [he]_176-rodney could not guess . In truth , [she]_{129-katharine} had fallen sufficiently into [his]_176-rodney trap to feel uncomfortably roused and disturbed and unable to proceed on the lines laid down for [herself]_{129-katharine} . This indifferent , if not hostile , attitude on [William]_176-rodney ’s part made it impossible to break off without animosity , largely and completely . Infinitely preferable was [Mary]_175-mary ’s state , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , where there was a simple thing to do and [one]_422-one did it . In fact , [she]_{129-katharine} could not help supposing that some littleness of nature had a part in all the refinements , reserves , and subtleties of feeling for which [[her]_{129-katharine} friends]_{3225-her friends} and [family]_4713-family were so distinguished . For example , although [she]_{129-katharine} liked [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} well enough , [her]_{129-katharine} fantastic method of life struck [her]_{129-katharine} as purely frivolous ; now it was socialism , now it was silkworms , now it was music — which last [she]_{129-katharine} supposed was the cause of [William]_176-rodney ’s sudden interest in [her]_{129-katharine} . Never before had [William]_176-rodney wasted the minutes of [her]_{129-katharine} presence in writing [his]_176-rodney letters . With a curious sense of light opening where all , hitherto , had been opaque , it dawned upon [her]_{129-katharine} that , after all , possibly , yes , probably , nay , certainly , the devotion which [she]_{129-katharine} had almost wearily taken for granted existed in a much slighter degree than [she]_{129-katharine} had suspected , or existed no longer . [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_176-rodney attentively as if this discovery of [hers]_{129-katharine} must show traces in [his]_176-rodney face . Never had [she]_{129-katharine} seen so much to respect in [his]_176-rodney appearance , so much that attracted [her]_{129-katharine} by its sensitiveness and intelligence , although [she]_{129-katharine} saw these qualities as if they were those one responds to , dumbly , in the face of [a stranger]_{381-a stranger} . The head bent over the paper , thoughtful as usual , had now a composure which seemed somehow to place it at a distance , like a face seen talking to [some one else behind glass]_{4715-some one else behind glass} . [He]_176-rodney wrote on , without raising [his]_176-rodney eyes . [She]_{129-katharine} would have spoken , but could not bring [herself]_{129-katharine} to ask [him]_176-rodney for signs of affection which [she]_{129-katharine} had no right to claim . The conviction that [he]_176-rodney was thus strange to [her]_{129-katharine} filled [her]_{129-katharine} with despondency , and illustrated quite beyond doubt the infinite loneliness of [human beings]_{923-human beings} . [She]_{129-katharine} had never felt the truth of this so strongly before . [She]_{129-katharine} looked away into the fire ; it seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that even physically they were now scarcely within speaking distance ; and spiritually there was certainly [no human being with whom [she]_{129-katharine} could claim comradeship]_{4717-no human being with whom she could claim comradeship} ; no dream that satisfied [her]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{129-katharine} was used to be satisfied ; nothing remained in whose reality [she]_{129-katharine} could believe , save those abstract ideas — figures , laws , stars , facts , which [she]_{129-katharine} could hardly hold to for lack of knowledge and a kind of shame . When [Rodney]_176-rodney owned to [himself]_176-rodney the folly of this prolonged silence , and the meanness of such devices , and looked up ready to seek some excuse for a good laugh , or opening for a confession , [he]_176-rodney was disconcerted by what [he]_176-rodney saw . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed equally oblivious of what was bad or of what was good in [him]_176-rodney . [Her]_{129-katharine} expression suggested concentration upon something entirely remote from [her]_{129-katharine} surroundings . The carelessness of [her]_{129-katharine} attitude seemed to [him]_176-rodney rather masculine than feminine . [His]_176-rodney impulse to break up the constraint was chilled , and once more the exasperating sense of [his]_176-rodney own impotency returned to [him]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney could not help contrasting [Katharine]_{129-katharine} with [his]_176-rodney vision of the engaging , whimsical [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} undemonstrative , inconsiderate , silent , and yet so notable that [he]_176-rodney could never do without [her]_{129-katharine} good opinion . [She]_{129-katharine} veered round upon [him]_176-rodney a moment later , as if , when [her]_{129-katharine} train of thought was ended , [she]_{129-katharine} became aware of [his]_176-rodney presence . “_[0-i] Have [you]_2076-you finished [your]_2076-you letter ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . [He]_176-rodney thought [he]_176-rodney heard faint amusement in [her]_{129-katharine} tone , but not a trace of jealousy . “_[2076-you] No , [I]_0-i ’m not going to write any more to - night , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not in the mood for it for some reason . [I]_0-i ca n’t say what [I]_0-i want to say . ” “_[0-i] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} wo n’t know if it ’s well written or badly written , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i ’m not so sure about that . [I]_0-i should say [she]_{303-cassandra} has a good deal of literary feeling . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Perhaps , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} indifferently . “_{[303-cassandra]} [You]_2076-you ’ve been neglecting [my]_0-i education lately , by the way . [I]_0-i wish [you]_2076-you ’d read something . Let [me]_0-i choose a book . ” So speaking , [she]_{129-katharine} went across to [his]_176-rodney bookshelves and began looking in a desultory way among [his]_176-rodney books . Anything , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , was better than bickering or the strange silence which drove home to [her]_{129-katharine} the distance between [them]_4718-they . As [she]_{129-katharine} pulled one book forward and then another [she]_{129-katharine} thought ironically of [her]_{129-katharine} own certainty not an hour ago ; how it had vanished in a moment , how [she]_{129-katharine} was merely marking time as best [she]_{129-katharine} could , not knowing in the least where [they]_4718-they stood , what [they]_4718-they felt , or whether [William]_176-rodney loved [her]_{129-katharine} or not . More and more the condition of [Mary]_175-mary ’s mind seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} wonderful and enviable — if , indeed , it could be quite as [she]_{129-katharine} figured it — if , indeed , simplicity existed for [any one of [the daughters of [women]_557-women]_{4720-the daughters of women}]_{4719-any one of the daughters of women} . “_[269-swift] [Swift]_269-swift , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , at last , taking out a volume at haphazard to settle this question at least . “_[269-swift] Let [us]_2077-us have some Swift . ” [Rodney]_176-rodney took the book , held it in front of [him]_176-rodney , inserted one finger between the pages , but said nothing . [His]_176-rodney face wore a queer expression of deliberation , as if [he]_176-rodney were weighing one thing with another , and would not say anything until [his]_176-rodney mind were made up . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , taking [her]_{129-katharine} chair beside [him]_176-rodney , noted [his]_176-rodney silence and looked at [him]_176-rodney with sudden apprehension . What [she]_{129-katharine} hoped or feared , [she]_{129-katharine} could not have said ; a most irrational and indefensible desire for some assurance of [his]_176-rodney affection was , perhaps , uppermost in [her]_{129-katharine} mind . Peevishness , complaints , exacting cross - examination [she]_{129-katharine} was used to , but this attitude of composed quiet , which seemed to come from the consciousness of power within , puzzled [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} did not know what was going to happen next . At last [William]_176-rodney spoke . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think it ’s a little odd , do n’t [you]_2078-you ? ” [he]_176-rodney said , in a voice of detached reflection . “_[2078-you] [Most people]_{3005-most people} , [I]_0-i mean , would be seriously upset if [their]_{3005-most people} marriage was put off for six months or so . But [we]_2080-we are n’t ; now how do [you]_2078-you account for that ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_176-rodney and observed [his]_176-rodney judicial attitude as of [one holding far aloof from emotion]_{4722-one holding far aloof from emotion} . “_[2078-you] [I]_0-i attribute it , ” [he]_176-rodney went on , without waiting for [her]_{129-katharine} to answer , “_[0-i] to the fact that neither of [us]_2080-we is in the least romantic about [the other]_{1230-the other} . That may be partly , no doubt , because [we]_2080-we ’ve known [each other]_{451-each other} so long ; but [I]_0-i ’m inclined to think there ’s more in it than that . There ’s something temperamental . [I]_0-i think [you]_2083-his ’re a trifle cold , and [I]_0-i suspect [I]_0-i ’m a trifle self - absorbed . If that were so it goes a long way to explaining [our]_2080-we odd lack of illusion about [each other]_{451-each other} . [I]_0-i ’m not saying that the most satisfactory marriages are n’t founded upon this sort of understanding . But certainly it struck [me]_0-i as odd this morning , when [Wilson]_326-wilson told [me]_0-i , how little upset [I]_0-i felt . By the way , [you]_2083-his ’re sure [we]_2080-we have n’t committed [ourselves]_2080-we to [that house]_{2085-that house} ? ” “_[2083-his] [I]_0-i ’ve kept the letters , and [I]_0-i ’ll go through them to - morrow ; but [I]_0-i ’m certain [we]_2080-we ’re on the safe side . ” “_[0-i] Thanks . As to the psychological problem , ” [he]_2083-his continued , as if the question interested [him]_2083-his in a detached way , “_[0-i] there ’s no doubt , [I]_0-i think , that either of [us]_2080-we is capable of feeling what , for reasons of simplicity , [I]_0-i call romance for [a third person]_{2086-a third person} — at least , [I]_0-i ’ve little doubt in [my]_0-i own case . ” It was , perhaps , the first time in all [her]_4723-her knowledge of [him]_2083-his that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had known [William]_176-rodney enter thus deliberately and without sign of emotion upon a statement of [his]_2083-his own feelings . [He]_2083-his was wo nt to discourage such intimate discussions by a little laugh or turn of the conversation , as much as to say that [men]_719-men , or [men of [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4725-men of the world} , find such topics a little silly , or in doubtful taste . [His]_2083-his obvious wish to explain something puzzled [her]_4723-her , interested [her]_4723-her , and neutralized the wound to [her]_4723-her vanity . For some reason , too , [she]_4723-her felt more at ease with [him]_2083-his than usual ; or [her]_4723-her ease was more the ease of equality — [she]_4723-her could not stop to think of that at the moment though . [His]_2083-his remarks interested [her]_4723-her too much for the light that [they]_4727-they threw upon certain problems of [her]_4723-her own . “_[0-i] What is this romance ? ” [she]_4723-her mused . “_[0-i] Ah , that ’s the question . [I]_0-i ’ve never come across a definition that satisfied [me]_0-i , though there are some very good ones”—he glanced in the direction of [his]_2083-his books . “_{[2086-a third person]} It ’s not altogether knowing [the other person]_{2059-the other person} , perhaps — it ’s ignorance , ” [she]_4723-her hazarded . “_{[2088-some authorities]} [Some authorities]_{2088-some authorities} say it ’s a question of distance — romance in literature , that is — ” “_{[2088-some authorities]} Possibly , in the case of art . But in the case of [people]_383-people it may be — ” [she]_4723-her hesitated . “_[383-people] Have [you]_0-i no personal experience of it ? ” [he]_2083-his asked , letting [his]_2083-his eyes rest upon [her]_4723-her swiftly for a moment . “_[383-people] [I]_0-i believe it ’s influenced [me]_0-i enormously , ” [she]_4723-her said , in the tone of one absorbed by the possibilities of some view just presented to [them]_4728-them ; “_[0-i] but in [my]_0-i life there ’s so little scope for it , ” [she]_4723-her added . [She]_4723-her reviewed [her]_4723-her daily task , the perpetual demands upon [her]_4723-her for good sense , self - control , and accuracy in [a house containing [a romantic mother]_{4730-a romantic mother}]_{4729-a house containing a romantic mother} . Ah , but [her]_4723-her romance was n’t that romance . It was a desire , an echo , a sound ; [she]_4723-her could drape it in color , see it in form , hear it in music , but not in words ; no , never in words . [She]_4723-her sighed , teased by desires so incoherent , so incommunicable . “_[0-i] But is n’t it curious , ” [William]_176-rodney resumed , “_[0-i] that [you]_0-i should neither feel it for [me]_0-i , nor [I]_0-i for [you]_0-i ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} agreed that it was curious — very ; but even more curious to [her]_4723-her was the fact that [she]_4723-her was discussing the question with [William]_176-rodney . It revealed possibilities which opened a prospect of a new relationship altogether . Somehow it seemed to [her]_4723-her that [he]_176-rodney was helping [her]_4723-her to understand what [she]_4723-her had never understood ; and in [her]_4723-her gratitude [she]_4723-her was conscious of a most sisterly desire to help [him]_176-rodney , too — sisterly , save for one pang , not quite to be subdued , that for [him]_176-rodney [she]_4723-her was without romance . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i might be very happy with some one [you]_0-i loved in that way , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i assume that romance survives a closer knowledge of [the person [one]_2091-one loves]_{2090-the person one loves} ? ” [He]_176-rodney asked the question formally , to protect [himself]_176-rodney from the sort of personality which [he]_176-rodney dreaded . The whole situation needed the most careful management lest it should degenerate into some degrading and disturbing exhibition such as the scene , which [he]_176-rodney could never think of without shame , upon the heath among the dead leaves . And yet each sentence brought [him]_176-rodney relief . [He]_176-rodney was coming to understand something or other about [his]_176-rodney own desires hitherto undefined by [him]_176-rodney , the source of [his]_176-rodney difficulty with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . The wish to hurt [her]_{129-katharine} , which had urged [him]_176-rodney to begin , had completely left [him]_176-rodney , and [he]_176-rodney felt that it was only [Katharine]_{129-katharine} now who could help [him]_176-rodney to be sure . [He]_176-rodney must take [his]_176-rodney time . There were so many things that [he]_176-rodney could not say without the greatest difficulty — that name , for example , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . Nor could [he]_176-rodney move [his]_176-rodney eyes from a certain spot , [a fiery glen surrounded by [high mountains]_{4732-high mountains} , in the heart of [the coals]_{4733-the coals}]_{4731-a fiery glen surrounded by high mountains , in the heart of the coals} . [He]_176-rodney waited in suspense for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to continue . [She]_{129-katharine} had said that [he]_176-rodney might be very happy with [some one [he]_176-rodney loved]_{4734-some one he loved} in that way . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t see why it should n’t last with [you]_2092-you , ” [she]_{129-katharine} resumed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i can imagine [a certain sort of person]_{2093-a certain sort of person} — ” [she]_{129-katharine} paused ; [she]_{129-katharine} was aware that [he]_176-rodney was listening with the greatest intentness , and that [his]_176-rodney formality was merely the cover for an extreme anxiety of some sort . There was [some person]_{4735-some person} then — [some woman]_{4736-some woman} — who could it be ? [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? Ah , possibly — “_{[2094-a person]} [A person]_{2094-a person} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added , speaking in the most matter - of - fact tone [she]_{129-katharine} could command , “_{[2094-a person]} like [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} , for instance . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} is [the most interesting of [the Otways]_{146-the otways}]_{2095-the most interesting of the otways} — with the exception of [Henry]_307-henry . Even so , [I]_0-i like [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} better . [She]_{303-cassandra} has more than mere cleverness . [She]_{303-cassandra} is [a character]_{2096-a character} — [a person by [herself]_{303-cassandra}]_{2097-a person by herself} . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Those dreadful insects ! ” burst from [William]_176-rodney , with a nervous laugh , and a little spasm went through [him]_176-rodney as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} noticed . It was [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} then . Automatically and dully [she]_{129-katharine} replied , “_[2098-you] [You]_2098-you could insist that [she]_{303-cassandra} confined [herself]_{303-cassandra} to — to — something else .... But [she]_{303-cassandra} cares for music ; [I]_0-i believe [she]_{303-cassandra} writes poetry ; and there can be no doubt that [she]_{303-cassandra} has a peculiar charm — ” [She]_{129-katharine} ceased , as if defining to [herself]_{129-katharine} this peculiar charm . After a moment ’s silence [William]_176-rodney jerked out : “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i thought [her]_{303-cassandra} affectionate ? ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Extremely affectionate . [She]_{303-cassandra} worships [Henry]_307-henry . When [you]_2098-you think what a house that is — [Uncle Francis]_{327-uncle francis} always in one mood or another — ” “_[2098-you] [Dear]_1609-dear , [dear]_1609-dear , [dear]_1609-dear , ” [William]_176-rodney muttered . “_[1609-dear] And [you]_1609-dear have so much in common . ” “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [William]_176-rodney exclaimed , flinging [himself]_176-rodney back in [his]_176-rodney chair , and uprooting [his]_176-rodney eyes from the spot in the fire . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i really do n’t know what [we]_2103-we ’re talking about .... [I]_0-i assure [you]_{129-katharine} .... ” [He]_176-rodney was covered with an extreme confusion . [He]_176-rodney withdrew the finger that was still thrust between the pages of [Gulliver]_328-gulliver , opened the book , and ran [his]_176-rodney eye down the list of chapters , as though [he]_176-rodney were about to select the one most suitable for reading aloud . As [Katharine]_{129-katharine} watched [him]_176-rodney , [she]_{129-katharine} was seized with preliminary symptoms of [his]_176-rodney own panic . At the same time [she]_{129-katharine} was convinced that , should [he]_176-rodney find the right page , take out [his]_176-rodney spectacles , clear [his]_176-rodney throat , and open [his]_176-rodney lips , a chance that would never come again in all [their]_2103-we lives would be lost to [them]_2103-we both . “_[0-i] [We]_2103-we ’re talking about things that interest [us]_2103-we both very much , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[2103-we] Sha n’t [we]_2103-we go on talking , and leave [Swift]_269-swift for another time ? [I]_0-i do n’t feel in the mood for [Swift]_269-swift , and it ’s a pity to read any one when that ’s the case — particularly [Swift]_269-swift . ” The presence of wise literary speculation , as [she]_{129-katharine} calculated , restored [William]_176-rodney ’s confidence in [his]_176-rodney security , and [he]_176-rodney replaced the book in the bookcase , keeping [his]_176-rodney back turned to [her]_{129-katharine} as [he]_176-rodney did so , and taking advantage of this circumstance to summon [his]_176-rodney thoughts together . But a second of introspection had the alarming result of showing [him]_176-rodney that [his]_176-rodney mind , when looked at from within , was no longer familiar ground . [He]_176-rodney felt , that is to say , what [he]_176-rodney had never consciously felt before ; [he]_176-rodney was revealed to [himself]_176-rodney as other than [he]_176-rodney was wo nt to think [him]_176-rodney ; [he]_176-rodney was afloat upon a sea of unknown and tumultuous possibilities . [He]_176-rodney paced once up and down [the room]_{379-the room} , and then flung [himself]_176-rodney impetuously into the chair by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s side . [He]_176-rodney had never felt anything like this before ; [he]_176-rodney put [himself]_176-rodney entirely into [her]_{129-katharine} hands ; [he]_176-rodney cast off all responsibility . [He]_176-rodney very nearly exclaimed aloud : “_[269-swift] [You]_2104-you ’ve stirred up all these odious and violent emotions , and now [you]_2104-you must do the best [you]_2104-you can with them . ” [Her]_{129-katharine} near presence , however , had a calming and reassuring effect upon [his]_176-rodney agitation , and [he]_176-rodney was conscious only of an implicit trust that , somehow , [he]_176-rodney was safe with [her]_{129-katharine} , that [she]_{129-katharine} would see [him]_176-rodney through , find out what it was that [he]_176-rodney wanted , and procure it for [him]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish to do whatever [you]_2104-you tell [me]_0-i to do , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[2104-you] [I]_0-i put [myself]_0-i entirely in [your]_2104-you hands , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_0-i must try to tell [me]_0-i what [you]_0-i feel , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} , [I]_0-i feel a thousand things every second . [I]_0-i do n’t know , [I]_0-i ’m sure , what [I]_0-i feel . That afternoon on the heath — it was then — then — ” [He]_176-rodney broke off ; [he]_176-rodney did not tell [her]_0-i what had happened then . “_[2104-you] [Your]_2104-you ghastly good sense , as usual , has convinced [me]_0-i — for the moment — but what the truth is , [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} only knows ! ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_{[130-mrs. hilbery]} Is n’t it the truth that [you]_0-i are , or might be , in love with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? ” [she]_0-i said gently . [William]_176-rodney bowed [his]_176-rodney head . After a moment ’s silence [he]_176-rodney murmured : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_2104-you ’re right , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” [She]_0-i sighed , involuntarily . [She]_0-i had been hoping all this time , with an intensity that increased second by second against the current of [her]_0-i words , that it would not in the end come to this . After a moment of surprising anguish , [she]_0-i summoned [her]_0-i courage to tell [him]_176-rodney how [she]_0-i wished only that [she]_0-i might help [him]_176-rodney , and had framed the first words of [her]_0-i speech when a knock , terrific and startling to [people]_383-people in [their]_383-people overwrought condition , sounded upon the door . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_0-i worship [you]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney urged , half in a whisper . “_[0-i] Yes , ” [she]_0-i replied , withdrawing with a little shiver , “_[0-i] but [you]_0-i must open the door . ” When [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph entered [the room]_{379-the room} and saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seated with [her]_{129-katharine} back to [him]_176-rodney , [he]_176-rodney was conscious of a change in the grade of the atmosphere such as [a traveler]_{4740-a traveler} meets with sometimes upon [the roads]_{4275-the roads} , particularly after sunset , when , without warning , [he]_176-rodney runs from clammy chill to a hoard of unspent warmth in which the sweetness of hay and beanfield is cherished , as if the sun still shone although the moon is up . [He]_176-rodney hesitated ; [he]_176-rodney shuddered ; [he]_176-rodney walked elaborately to the window and laid aside [his]_176-rodney coat . [He]_176-rodney balanced [his]_176-rodney stick most carefully against the folds of the curtain . Thus occupied with [his]_176-rodney own sensations and preparations , [he]_176-rodney had little time to observe what either of [the other two]_{4742-the other two} was feeling . Such symptoms of agitation as [he]_176-rodney might perceive ( and [they]_{4742-the other two} had left [their]_{4742-the other two} tokens in brightness of eye and pallor of cheeks ) seemed to [him]_176-rodney well befitting [the actors]_{4743-the actors} in so great a drama as that of [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ’s daily life . Beauty and passion were the breath of [her]_{129-katharine} being , [he]_176-rodney thought . [She]_{129-katharine} scarcely noticed [his]_176-rodney presence , or only as it forced [her]_{129-katharine} to adopt a manner of composure , which [she]_{129-katharine} was certainly far from feeling . [William]_176-rodney , however , was even more agitated than [she]_{129-katharine} was , and [her]_{129-katharine} first instalment of promised help took the form of some commonplace upon the age of [the building]_{615-the building} or [the architect]_{4745-the architect} ’s name , which gave [him]_176-rodney an excuse to fumble in a drawer for certain designs , which [he]_176-rodney laid upon the table between [the three of [them]_{911-the three of them}]_{911-the three of them} . Which of the three followed the designs most carefully it would be difficult to tell , but it is certain that not one of [the three]_{4747-the three} found for the moment anything to say . Years of training in [a drawing - room]_{556-a drawing - room} came at length to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s help , and [she]_{129-katharine} said something suitable , at the same moment withdrawing [her]_{129-katharine} hand from the table because [she]_{129-katharine} perceived that it trembled . [William]_176-rodney agreed effusively ; [Denham]_154-ralph corroborated [him]_176-rodney , speaking in rather high - pitched tones ; [they]_{911-the three of them} thrust aside the plans , and drew nearer to the fireplace . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’d rather live [here]_2985-here than anywhere in [the whole of [London]_2-london]_{2107-the whole of london} , ” said [Denham]_154-ralph . ( “_[0-i] And [I]_0-i ’ve got nowhere to live ” ) [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought , as [she]_{129-katharine} agreed aloud . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i could get [rooms]_3471-rooms [here]_2985-here , no doubt , if [you]_0-i wanted to , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney replied . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i ’m just leaving [London]_2-london for good — [I’ve]_0-i taken [that cottage]_{2110-that cottage} [I]_0-i was telling [you]_0-i about . ” The announcement seemed to convey very little to [either of [[his]_176-rodney hearers]_{4750-his hearers}]_{4749-either of his hearers} . “_[0-i] Indeed?—that ’s sad .... [You]_0-i must give [me]_0-i [your]_0-i address . But [you]_0-i wo n’t cut [yourself]_0-i off altogether , surely — ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ll be moving , too , [I]_0-i suppose , ” [Denham]_154-ralph remarked . [William]_176-rodney showed such visible signs of floundering that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} collected [herself]_{129-katharine} and asked : “_[0-i] Where is [the cottage [you]_0-i ’ve taken]_{2111-the cottage you ’ve taken} ? ” In answering [her]_{129-katharine} , [Denham]_154-ralph turned and looked at [her]_{129-katharine} . As [their]_4751-their eyes met , [she]_{129-katharine} realized for the first time that [she]_{129-katharine} was talking to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , and [she]_{129-katharine} remembered , without recalling any details , that [she]_{129-katharine} had been speaking of [him]_154-ralph quite lately , and that [she]_{129-katharine} had reason to think ill of [him]_154-ralph . What [Mary]_175-mary had said [she]_{129-katharine} could not remember , but [she]_{129-katharine} felt that there was a mass of knowledge in [her]_{129-katharine} mind which [she]_{129-katharine} had not had time to examine — knowledge now lying on the far side of [a gulf]_{4752-a gulf} . But [her]_{129-katharine} agitation flashed the queerest lights upon [her]_{129-katharine} past . [She]_{129-katharine} must get through the matter in hand , and then think it out in quiet . [She]_{129-katharine} bent [her]_{129-katharine} mind to follow what [Ralph]_154-ralph was saying . [He]_154-ralph was telling [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_154-ralph had taken [a cottage in [Norfolk]_79-norfolk]_{4753-a cottage in norfolk} , and [she]_{129-katharine} was saying that [she]_{129-katharine} knew , or did not know , [that particular neighborhood]_{4754-that particular neighborhood} . But after a moment ’s attention [her]_{129-katharine} mind flew to [Rodney]_176-rodney , and [she]_{129-katharine} had an unusual , indeed unprecedented , sense that [they]_4755-they were in touch and shared [each other]_{451-each other} ’s thoughts . If only [Ralph]_154-ralph were not there , [she]_{129-katharine} would at once give way to [her]_{129-katharine} desire to take [William]_176-rodney ’s hand , then to bend [his]_154-ralph head upon [her]_{129-katharine} shoulder , for this was what [she]_{129-katharine} wanted to do more than anything at the moment , unless , indeed , [she]_{129-katharine} wished more than anything to be alone — yes , that was what [she]_{129-katharine} wanted . [She]_{129-katharine} was sick to death of these discussions ; [she]_{129-katharine} shivered at the effort to reveal [her]_{129-katharine} feelings . [She]_{129-katharine} had forgotten to answer . [William]_176-rodney was speaking now . “_[0-i] But what will [you]_2112-you find to do in [the country]_{761-the country} ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked at random , striking into a conversation which [she]_{129-katharine} had only half heard , in such a way as to make both [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Denham]_154-ralph look at [her]_{129-katharine} with a little surprise . But directly [she]_{129-katharine} took up the conversation , it was [William]_176-rodney ’s turn to fall silent . [He]_176-rodney at once forgot to listen to what [they]_4757-they were saying , although [he]_176-rodney interposed nervously at intervals , “_[0-i] Yes , yes , yes . ” As the minutes passed , [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s presence became more and more intolerable to [him]_176-rodney , since there was so much that [he]_176-rodney must say to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; the moment [he]_176-rodney could not talk to [her]_{129-katharine} , terrible doubts , unanswerable questions accumulated , which [he]_176-rodney must lay before [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , for [she]_{129-katharine} alone could help [him]_176-rodney now . Unless [he]_176-rodney could see [her]_{129-katharine} alone , it would be impossible for [him]_176-rodney ever to sleep , or to know what [he]_176-rodney had said in a moment of madness , which was not altogether mad , or was it mad ? [He]_176-rodney nodded [his]_176-rodney head , and said , nervously , “_[0-i] Yes , yes , ” and looked at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and thought how beautiful [she]_{129-katharine} looked ; there was [no one in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4758-no one in the world} that [he]_176-rodney admired more . There was an emotion in [her]_{129-katharine} face which lent it an expression [he]_176-rodney had never seen there . Then , as [he]_176-rodney was turning over means by which [he]_176-rodney could speak to [her]_{129-katharine} alone , [she]_{129-katharine} rose , and [he]_176-rodney was taken by surprise , for [he]_176-rodney had counted on the fact that [she]_{129-katharine} would outstay [Denham]_154-ralph . [His]_176-rodney only chance , then , of saying something to [her]_{129-katharine} in private , was to take [her]_{129-katharine} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} and walk with [her]_{129-katharine} to [the street]_{397-the street} . While [he]_176-rodney hesitated , however , overcome with the difficulty of putting one simple thought into words when all [his]_176-rodney thoughts were scattered about , and all were too strong for utterance , [he]_176-rodney was struck silent by something that was still more unexpected . [Denham]_154-ralph got up from [his]_154-ralph chair , looked at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and said : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m going , too . Shall [we]_2114-them go together ? ” And before [William]_176-rodney could see any way of detaining [him]_154-ralph — or would it be better to detain [Katharine?—he]_{329-katharine?—he} had taken [his]_176-rodney hat , stick , and was holding the door open for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to pass out . The most that [William]_176-rodney could do was to stand at the head of the stairs and say good - night . [He]_176-rodney could not offer to go with [them]_2114-them . [He]_176-rodney could not insist that [she]_{129-katharine} should stay . [He]_176-rodney watched [her]_{129-katharine} descend , rather slowly , owing to the dusk of the staircase , and [he]_176-rodney had a last sight of [Denham]_154-ralph ’s head and of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s head near together , against the panels , when suddenly a pang of acute jealousy overcame [him]_176-rodney , and had [he]_176-rodney not remained conscious of the slippers upon [his]_176-rodney feet , [he]_176-rodney would have run after [them]_2114-them or cried out . As it was [he]_176-rodney could not move from the spot . At the turn of the staircase [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned to look back , trusting to this last glance to seal [their]_4762-their compact of good friendship . Instead of returning [her]_{129-katharine} silent greeting , [William]_176-rodney grinned back at [her]_{129-katharine} a cold stare of sarcasm or of rage . [She]_{129-katharine} stopped dead for a moment , and then descended slowly into [the court]_{4763-the court} . [She]_{129-katharine} looked to the right and to the left , and once up into the sky . [She]_{129-katharine} was only conscious of [Denham]_154-ralph as a block upon [her]_{129-katharine} thoughts . [She]_{129-katharine} measured the distance that must be traversed before [she]_{129-katharine} would be alone . But when [they]_2116-they came to [the Strand]_{19-the strand} [no cabs]_{4764-no cabs} were to be seen , and [Denham]_154-ralph broke the silence by saying : “_[2114-them] There seem to be [no cabs]_{4764-no cabs} . Shall [we]_2116-they walk on a little ? ” “_[2114-them] Very well , ” [she]_{129-katharine} agreed , paying no attention to [him]_154-ralph . Aware of [her]_{129-katharine} preoccupation , or absorbed in [his]_154-ralph own thoughts , [Ralph]_154-ralph said nothing further ; and in silence [they]_2116-they walked some distance along [the Strand]_{19-the strand} . [Ralph]_154-ralph was doing [his]_154-ralph best to put [his]_154-ralph thoughts into such order that one came before the rest , and the determination that when [he]_154-ralph spoke [he]_154-ralph should speak worthily , made [him]_154-ralph put off the moment of speaking till [he]_154-ralph had found the exact words and even the place that best suited [him]_154-ralph . [The Strand]_{19-the strand} was too busy . There was too much risk , also , of finding [an empty cab]_{4765-an empty cab} . Without a word of explanation [he]_154-ralph turned to the left , down [one of the side streets leading to [the river]_{945-the river}]_{4766-one of the side streets leading to the river} . On no account must [they]_2116-they part until something of the very greatest importance had happened . [He]_154-ralph knew perfectly well what [he]_154-ralph wished to say , and had arranged not only the substance , but the order in which [he]_154-ralph was to say it . Now , however , that [he]_154-ralph was alone with [her]_4768-her , not only did [he]_154-ralph find the difficulty of speaking almost insurmountable , but [he]_154-ralph was aware that [he]_154-ralph was angry with [her]_4768-her for thus disturbing [him]_154-ralph , and casting , as it was so easy for [a person of [her]_4768-her advantages]_{4769-a person of her advantages} to do , these phantoms and pitfalls across [his]_154-ralph path . [He]_154-ralph was determined that [he]_154-ralph would question [her]_4768-her as severely as [he]_154-ralph would question [himself]_154-ralph ; and make [them]_2116-they both , once and for all , either justify [her]_4768-her dominance or renounce it . But the longer [they]_2116-they walked thus alone , the more [he]_154-ralph was disturbed by the sense of [her]_4768-her actual presence . [Her]_4768-her skirt blew ; the feathers in [her]_4768-her hat waved ; sometimes [he]_154-ralph saw [her]_4768-her a step or two ahead of [him]_154-ralph , or had to wait for [her]_4768-her to catch [him]_154-ralph up . The silence was prolonged , and at length drew [her]_4768-her attention to [him]_154-ralph . First [she]_4768-her was annoyed that there was [no cab]_{4770-no cab} to free [her]_4768-her from [his]_154-ralph company ; then [she]_4768-her recalled vaguely something that [Mary]_175-mary had said to make [her]_4768-her think ill of [him]_154-ralph ; [she]_4768-her could not remember what , but the recollection , combined with [his]_154-ralph masterful ways — why did [he]_154-ralph walk so fast down this side street?—made [her]_4768-her more and more conscious of [a person of marked , though disagreeable , force]_{4771-a person of marked , though disagreeable , force} by [her]_4768-her side . [She]_4768-her stopped and , looking round [her]_4768-her for [a cab]_{3079-a cab} , sighted one in the distance . [He]_154-ralph was thus precipitated into speech . “_[2114-them] Should [you]_2117-you mind if [we]_2118-we walked a little farther ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . “_[2117-you] There ’s something [I]_0-i want to say to [you]_2117-you . ” “_[0-i] Very well , ” [she]_4768-her replied , guessing that [his]_154-ralph request had something to do with [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . “_[0-i] It ’s quieter by [the river]_{945-the river} , ” [he]_154-ralph said , and instantly [he]_154-ralph crossed over . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i want to ask [you]_2117-you merely this , ” [he]_154-ralph began . But [he]_154-ralph paused so long that [she]_4768-her could see [his]_154-ralph head against the sky ; the slope of [his]_154-ralph thin cheek and [his]_154-ralph large , strong nose were clearly marked against it . While [he]_154-ralph paused , words that were quite different from those [he]_154-ralph intended to use presented themselves . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve made [you]_2117-you [my]_0-i standard ever since [I]_0-i saw [you]_2117-you . [I]_0-i ’ve dreamt about [you]_2117-you ; [I]_0-i ’ve thought of nothing but [you]_2117-you ; [you]_2117-you represent to [me]_0-i the only reality in [the world]_{478-the world} . ” [His]_154-ralph words , and the queer strained voice in which [he]_154-ralph spoke them , made it appear as if [he]_154-ralph addressed [some person who was not [the woman beside [him]_154-ralph]_{4774-the woman beside him} , but [some one far away]_{4775-some one far away}]_{4773-some person who was not the woman beside him , but some one far away} . “_[2117-you] And now things have come to such a pass that , unless [I]_0-i can speak to [you]_2117-you openly , [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i shall go mad . [I]_0-i think of [you]_2117-you as the most beautiful , the truest thing in [the world]_{478-the world} , ” [he]_154-ralph continued , filled with a sense of exaltation , and feeling that [he]_154-ralph had no need now to choose [his]_154-ralph words with pedantic accuracy , for what [he]_154-ralph wanted to say was suddenly become plain to [him]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see [you]_2117-you everywhere , in the stars , in [the river]_{945-the river} ; to [me]_0-i [you]_2117-you ’re everything that exists ; the reality of everything . Life , [I]_0-i tell [you]_2117-you , would be impossible without [you]_2117-you . And now [I]_0-i want — ” [She]_0-i had heard [him]_154-ralph so far with a feeling that [she]_0-i had dropped some material word which made sense of the rest . [She]_0-i could hear no more of this unintelligible rambling without checking [him]_154-ralph . [She]_0-i felt that [she]_0-i was overhearing what was meant for another . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t understand , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re saying things that [you]_0-i do n’t mean . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean every word [I]_0-i say , ” [he]_154-ralph replied , emphatically . [He]_154-ralph turned [his]_154-ralph head towards [her]_0-i . [She]_0-i recovered the words [she]_0-i was searching for while [he]_154-ralph spoke . “_[0-i] [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph is in love with [you]_0-i . ” [They]_4776-they came back to [her]_0-i in [Mary Datchet]_175-mary ’s voice . [Her]_0-i anger blazed up in [her]_0-i . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i saw [Mary Datchet]_175-mary this afternoon , ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . [He]_154-ralph made a movement as if [he]_154-ralph were surprised or taken aback , but answered in a moment : “_[175-mary] [She]_175-mary told [you]_0-i that [I]_0-i had asked [her]_175-mary to marry [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” “_[0-i] No ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , in surprise . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did though . It was the day [I]_0-i saw [you]_0-i at [Lincoln]_52-lincoln , ” [he]_4777-he continued . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i had meant to ask [her]_175-mary to marry [me]_0-i , and then [I]_0-i looked out of the window and saw [you]_0-i . After that [I]_0-i did n’t want to ask [any one]_{2939-any one} to marry [me]_0-i . But [I]_0-i did it ; and [she]_175-mary knew [I]_0-i was lying , and refused [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i thought then , and still think , that [she]_175-mary cares for [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i behaved very badly . [I]_0-i do n’t defend [myself]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] No , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should hope not . There ’s no defence that [I]_0-i can think of . If any conduct is wrong , that is . ” [She]_{129-katharine} spoke with an energy that was directed even more against [herself]_{129-katharine} than against [him]_4778-he . “_[0-i] It seems to [me]_0-i , ” [she]_{129-katharine} continued , with the same energy , “_[0-i] that [people]_383-people are bound to be honest . There ’s no excuse for such behavior . ” [She]_{129-katharine} could now see plainly before [her]_{129-katharine} eyes the expression on [Mary Datchet]_175-mary ’s face . After a short pause , [he]_4778-he said : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not telling [you]_0-i that [I]_0-i am in love with [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i am not in love with [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did n’t think that , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied , conscious of some bewilderment . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have not spoken a word to [you]_0-i that [I]_0-i do not mean , ” [he]_4778-he added . “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i then what it is that [you]_0-i mean , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said at length . As if obeying a common instinct , [they]_2125-they both stopped and , bending slightly over the balustrade of [the river]_{945-the river} , looked into the flowing water . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i say that [we]_2125-they ’ve got to be honest , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph began . “_[0-i] Very well . [I]_0-i will try to tell [you]_0-i the facts ; but [I]_0-i warn [you]_0-i , [you]_0-i ’ll think [me]_0-i mad . It ’s a fact , though , that since [I]_0-i first saw [you]_0-i four or five months ago [I]_0-i have made [you]_0-i , in an utterly absurd way , [I]_0-i expect , [my]_0-i ideal . [I]_0-i ’m almost ashamed to tell [you]_0-i what lengths [I]_0-i ’ve gone to . It ’s become the thing that matters most in [my]_0-i life . ” [He]_4780-he checked [himself]_4780-he . “_[0-i] Without knowing [you]_0-i , except that [you]_0-i ’re beautiful , and all that , [I]_0-i ’ve come to believe that [we]_2126-we ’re in some sort of agreement ; that [we]_2126-we ’re after something together ; that [we]_2126-we see something .... [I]_0-i ’ve got into the habit of imagining [you]_0-i ; [I]_0-i ’m always thinking what [you]_0-i ’d say or do ; [I]_0-i walk along [the street]_{397-the street} talking to [you]_0-i ; [I]_0-i dream of [you]_0-i . It ’s merely a bad habit , a schoolboy habit , day - dreaming ; it ’s a common experience ; [half one ’s friends]_{2128-half one ’s friends} do the same ; well , those are the facts . ” Simultaneously , [they]_2126-we both walked on very slowly . “_[0-i] If [you]_0-i were to know [me]_0-i [you]_0-i would feel none of this , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [We]_2126-we do n’t know [each other]_{451-each other} — [we’ve]_2126-we always been — interrupted .... Were [you]_0-i going to tell [me]_0-i this that day [[my]_0-i aunts]_{1433-my aunts} came ? ” [she]_0-i asked , recollecting the whole scene . [He]_4781-he bowed [his]_4781-he head . “_[0-i] The day [you]_0-i told [me]_0-i of [your]_0-i engagement , ” [he]_4781-he said . [She]_0-i thought , with a start , that [she]_0-i was no longer engaged . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i deny that [I]_0-i should cease to feel this if [I]_0-i knew [you]_0-i , ” [he]_4781-he went on . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should feel it more reasonably — that ’s all . [I]_0-i should n’t talk the kind of nonsense [I]_0-i ’ve talked to - night .... But it was n’t nonsense . It was the truth , ” [he]_4781-he said doggedly . “_[0-i] It ’s the important thing . [You]_0-i can force [me]_0-i to talk as if this feeling for [you]_0-i were an hallucination , but all [our]_2131-our feelings are that . The best of them are half illusions . Still , ” [he]_4781-he added , as if arguing to [himself]_4781-he , “_[0-i] if it were n’t as real a feeling as [I]_0-i ’m capable of , [I]_0-i should n’t be changing [my]_0-i life on [your]_0-i account . ” “_[0-i] What do [you]_0-i mean ? ” [she]_0-i inquired . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i told [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i ’m taking [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} . [I]_0-i ’m giving up [my]_0-i profession . ” “_[0-i] On [my]_0-i account ? ” [she]_0-i asked , in amazement . “_[0-i] Yes , on [your]_0-i account , ” [he]_4782-he replied . [He]_4782-he explained [his]_4782-he meaning no further . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i do n’t know [you]_0-i or [your]_0-i circumstances , ” [she]_0-i said at last , as [he]_4782-he remained silent . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i have no opinion about [me]_0-i one way or the other ? ” “_[0-i] Yes , [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i have an opinion — ” [she]_0-i hesitated . [He]_4782-he controlled [his]_4782-he wish to ask [her]_0-i to explain [herself]_0-i , and much to [his]_4782-he pleasure [she]_0-i went on , appearing to search [her]_0-i mind . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought that [you]_0-i criticized [me]_0-i — perhaps disliked [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i thought of [you]_0-i as [a person who judges]_{2133-a person who judges} — ” “_[0-i] No ; [I]_0-i ’m [a person who feels]_{2134-a person who feels} , ” [he]_4782-he said , in a low voice . “_{[2134-a person who feels]} Tell [me]_0-i , then , what has made [you]_0-i do this ? ” [she]_0-i asked , after a break . [He]_4782-he told [her]_0-i in an orderly way , betokening careful preparation , all that [he]_4782-he had meant to say at first ; how [he]_4782-he stood with regard to [[his]_4782-he brothers]_{4783-his brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters ; what [[his]_4782-he mother]_{538-his mother} had said , and [[his]_4782-he sister]_{578-his sister} [Joan]_156-joan had refrained from saying ; exactly how many pounds stood in [his]_4782-he name at [the bank]_{4787-the bank} ; what prospect [[his]_4782-he brother]_{4282-his brother} had of earning a livelihood in [America]_75-america ; how much of [their]_4789-their income went on rent , and other details known to [him]_4782-he by heart . [She]_0-i listened to all this , so that [she]_0-i could have passed an examination in it by the time [Waterloo Bridge]_{80-waterloo bridge} was in sight ; and yet [she]_0-i was no more listening to it than [she]_0-i was counting the paving - stones at [her]_0-i feet . [She]_0-i was feeling happier than [she]_0-i had felt in [her]_0-i life . If [Denham]_154-ralph could have seen how visibly books of algebraic symbols , pages all speckled with dots and dashes and twisted bars , came before [her]_0-i eyes as [they]_4789-their trod [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} , [his]_154-ralph secret joy in [her]_0-i attention might have been dispersed . [She]_0-i went on , saying , “_{[2134-a person who feels]} Yes , [I]_0-i see .... But how would that help [you]_2135-you ? ... [[Your]_2135-you brother]_{2136-your brother} has passed [his]_{2136-your brother} examination ? ” so sensibly , that [he]_154-ralph had constantly to keep [his]_154-ralph brain in check ; and all the time [she]_0-i was in fancy looking up through a telescope at white shadow - cleft disks which were [other worlds]_{4791-other worlds} , until [she]_0-i felt [herself]_0-i possessed of two bodies , one walking by [the river]_{945-the river} with [Denham]_154-ralph , [the other concentrated]_{4793-the other concentrated} to a silver globe aloft in [the fine blue space above the scum of vapors that was covering [the visible world]_{4795-the visible world}]_{4794-the fine blue space above the scum of vapors that was covering the visible world} . [She]_0-i looked at the sky once , and saw that no star was keen enough to pierce the flight of watery clouds now coursing rapidly before the west wind . [She]_0-i looked down hurriedly again . There was no reason , [she]_0-i assured [herself]_0-i , for this feeling of happiness ; [she]_0-i was not free ; [she]_0-i was not alone ; [she]_0-i was still bound to [earth]_736-earth by a million fibres ; every step took [her]_0-i nearer [home]_2992-home . Nevertheless , [she]_0-i exulted as [she]_0-i had never exulted before . The air was fresher , the lights more distinct , the cold stone of the balustrade colder and harder , when by chance or purpose [she]_0-i struck [her]_0-i hand against it . No feeling of annoyance with [Denham]_154-ralph remained ; [he]_154-ralph certainly did not hinder any flight [she]_0-i might choose to make , whether in the direction of the sky or of [[her]_0-i home]_{3365-her home} ; but that [her]_0-i condition was due to [him]_154-ralph , or to anything that [he]_154-ralph had said , [she]_0-i had no consciousness at all . [They]_4799-they were now within sight of the stream of [cabs and omnibuses]_{4800-cabs and omnibuses} crossing to and from [the [Surrey]_81-surrey side of [the river]_{945-the river}]_{4801-the surrey side of the river} ; the sound of the traffic , the hooting of motor - horns , and the light chime of tram - bells sounded more and more distinctly , and , with the increase of noise , [they]_4799-they both became silent . With a common instinct [they]_4799-they slackened [their]_4799-they pace , as if to lengthen the time of semi - privacy allowed [them]_4799-they . To [Ralph]_154-ralph , the pleasure of these last yards of the walk with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was so great that [he]_154-ralph could not look beyond the present moment to the time when [she]_{129-katharine} should have left [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph had no wish to use the last moments of [their]_4799-they companionship in adding fresh words to what [he]_154-ralph had already said . Since [they]_4799-they had stopped talking , [she]_{129-katharine} had become to [him]_154-ralph not so much [a real person]_{4803-a real person} , as [the very woman [he]_154-ralph dreamt of]_{4804-the very woman he dreamt of} ; but [his]_154-ralph solitary dreams had never produced any such keenness of sensation as that which [he]_154-ralph felt in [her]_{129-katharine} presence . [He]_154-ralph [himself]_154-ralph was also strangely transfigured . [He]_154-ralph had complete mastery of all [his]_154-ralph faculties . For the first time [he]_154-ralph was in possession of [his]_154-ralph full powers . The vistas which opened before [him]_154-ralph seemed to have no perceptible end . But the mood had none of the restlessness or feverish desire to add one delight to another which had hitherto marked , and somewhat spoilt , the most rapturous of [his]_154-ralph imaginings . It was a mood that took such clear - eyed account of the conditions of human life that [he]_154-ralph was not disturbed in the least by the gliding presence of [a taxicab]_{969-a taxicab} , and without agitation [he]_154-ralph perceived that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was conscious of it also , and turned [her]_{129-katharine} head in that direction . [Their]_4806-their halting steps acknowledged the desirability of engaging [the cab]_{971-the cab} ; and [they]_4806-their stopped simultaneously , and signed to it . “_[2137-you] Then [you]_2137-you will let [me]_0-i know [your]_2137-you decision as soon as [you]_2137-you can ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked , with [his]_154-ralph hand on the door . [She]_{129-katharine} hesitated for a moment . [She]_{129-katharine} could not immediately recall what the question was that [she]_{129-katharine} had to decide . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i will write , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said vaguely . “_[0-i] No , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added , in a second , bethinking [her]_{129-katharine} of the difficulties of writing anything decided upon a question to which [she]_{129-katharine} had paid no attention , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t see how to manage it . ” [She]_{129-katharine} stood looking at [Denham]_154-ralph , considering and hesitating , with [her]_{129-katharine} foot upon the step . [He]_154-ralph guessed [her]_{129-katharine} difficulties ; [he]_154-ralph knew in a second that [she]_{129-katharine} had heard nothing ; [he]_154-ralph knew everything that [she]_{129-katharine} felt . “_[0-i] There ’s only one place to discuss things satisfactorily that [I]_0-i know of , ” [he]_154-ralph said quickly ; “_[330-kew] that ’s [Kew]_330-kew . ” “_[330-kew] Kew ? ” “_[330-kew] Kew , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated , with immense decision . [He]_154-ralph shut the door and gave [her]_{129-katharine} address to [the driver]_{972-the driver} . [She]_{129-katharine} instantly was conveyed away from [him]_154-ralph , and [[her]_{129-katharine} cab]_{4809-her cab} joined the knotted stream of [vehicles]_{4810-vehicles} , each marked by a light , and indistinguishable one from the other . [He]_154-ralph stood watching for a moment , and then , as if swept by some fierce impulse , from the spot where [they]_4811-they had stood , [he]_154-ralph turned , crossed [the road]_{941-the road} at a rapid pace , and disappeared . [He]_154-ralph walked on upon the impetus of this last mood of almost supernatural exaltation until [he]_154-ralph reached [a narrow street]_{4813-a narrow street} , at this hour empty of traffic and [passengers]_{949-passengers} . Here , whether it was [the shops]_{4815-the shops} with [their]_{4815-the shops} shuttered windows , the smooth and silvered curve of [the wood pavement]_{4816-the wood pavement} , or a natural ebb of feeling , [his]_154-ralph exaltation slowly oozed and deserted [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph was now conscious of the loss that follows any revelation ; [he]_154-ralph had lost something in speaking to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , for , after all , was the Katharine whom [he]_154-ralph loved the same as [the real Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? [She]_{129-katharine} had transcended [her]_{129-katharine} entirely at moments ; [her]_{129-katharine} skirt had blown , [her]_{129-katharine} feather waved , [her]_{129-katharine} voice spoken ; yes , but how terrible sometimes the pause between the voice of one ’s dreams and the voice that comes from the object of one ’s dreams ! [He]_154-ralph felt a mixture of disgust and pity at the figure cut by [human beings]_{923-human beings} when [they]_{923-human beings} try to carry out , in practice , what [they]_{923-human beings} have the power to conceive . How small both [he]_154-ralph and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had appeared when [they]_{923-human beings} issued from the cloud of thought that enveloped [them]_{923-human beings} ! [He]_154-ralph recalled the small , inexpressive , commonplace words in which [they]_{923-human beings} had tried to communicate with [each other]_{451-each other} ; [he]_154-ralph repeated them over to [himself]_154-ralph . By repeating [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s words , [he]_154-ralph came in a few moments to such a sense of [her]_{129-katharine} presence that [he]_154-ralph worshipped [her]_{129-katharine} more than ever . But [she]_{129-katharine} was engaged to be married , [he]_154-ralph remembered with a start . The strength of [his]_154-ralph feeling was revealed to [him]_154-ralph instantly , and [he]_154-ralph gave [himself]_154-ralph up to an irresistible rage and sense of frustration . The image of [Rodney]_176-rodney came before [him]_154-ralph with every circumstance of folly and indignity . [That little pink - cheeked dancing - master]_{4819-that little pink - cheeked dancing - master} to marry [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? that gibbering ass with the face of a monkey on an organ ? [that posing , vain , fantastical fop]_{4820-that posing , vain , fantastical fop} ? with [his]_176-rodney tragedies and [his]_176-rodney comedies , [his]_176-rodney innumerable spites and prides and pettinesses ? [Lord]_4821-lord ! marry [Rodney]_176-rodney ! [She]_{129-katharine} must be as great a fool as [he]_154-ralph was . [His]_154-ralph bitterness took possession of [him]_154-ralph , and as [he]_154-ralph sat in the corner of [the underground carriage]_{4822-the underground carriage} , [he]_154-ralph looked as stark an image of unapproachable severity as could be imagined . Directly [he]_154-ralph reached [home]_2992-home [he]_154-ralph sat down at [his]_154-ralph table , and began to write [Katharine]_{129-katharine} a long , wild , mad letter , begging [her]_{129-katharine} for both [their]_4824-their sakes to break with [Rodney]_176-rodney , imploring [her]_{129-katharine} not to do what would destroy for ever [the one beauty]_{4825-the one beauty} , the one truth , the one hope ; not to be [a traitor]_{4826-a traitor} , not to be [a deserter]_{4827-a deserter} , for if [she]_{129-katharine} were — and [he]_154-ralph wound up with a quiet and brief assertion that , whatever [she]_{129-katharine} did or left undone , [he]_154-ralph would believe to be the best , and accept from [her]_{129-katharine} with gratitude . [He]_154-ralph covered sheet after sheet , and heard the early carts starting for [London]_2-london before [he]_154-ralph went to bed . The first signs of spring , even such as make themselves felt towards the middle of February , not only produce little white and violet flowers in the more sheltered corners of woods and [gardens]_4828-gardens , but bring to birth thoughts and desires comparable to those faintly colored and sweetly scented petals in the minds of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women . Lives frozen by age , so far as the present is concerned , to a hard surface , which neither reflects nor yields , at this season become soft and fluid , reflecting the shapes and colors of the present , as well as the shapes and colors of the past . In the case of [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , these early spring days were chiefly upsetting inasmuch as they caused a general quickening of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} emotional powers , which , as far as the past was concerned , had never suffered much diminution . But in the spring [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} desire for expression invariably increased . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was haunted by the ghosts of phrases . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} gave [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} up to a sensual delight in the combinations of words . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} sought them in the pages of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} favorite authors]_{4831-her favorite authors} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} made them for [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} on scraps of paper , and rolled them on [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} tongue when there seemed no occasion for such eloquence . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was upheld in these excursions by the certainty that no language could outdo the splendor of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} father]_{406-her father} ’s memory , and although [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} efforts did not notably further the end of [his]_{406-her father} biography , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was under the impression of living more in [his]_{406-her father} shade at such times than at others . [No one]_{2921-no one} can escape the power of language , let alone [those of English birth brought up from childhood]_{4834-those of english birth brought up from childhood} , as [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had been , to disport [themselves]_{4834-those of english birth brought up from childhood} now in the Saxon plainness , now in the Latin splendor of the tongue , and stored with memories , as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was , of [old poets exuberating in an infinity of vocables]_{4835-old poets exuberating in an infinity of vocables} . Even [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was slightly affected against [her]_{129-katharine} better judgment by [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s enthusiasm . Not that [her]_{129-katharine} judgment could altogether acquiesce in the necessity for a study of [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s sonnets as a preliminary to the fifth chapter of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s biography . Beginning with a perfectly frivolous jest , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had evolved a theory that [Anne Hathaway]_{331-anne hathaway} had a way , among other things , of writing [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s sonnets ; the idea , struck out to enliven a party of [professors]_{4838-professors} , who forwarded a number of privately printed manuals within the next few days for [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} instruction , had submerged [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} in a flood of Elizabethan literature ; [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had come half to believe in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} joke , which was , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , at least as good as [other people]_{2964-other people} ’s facts , and all [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} fancy for the time being centered upon [Stratford - on - Avon]_{82-stratford - on - avon} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had a plan , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} told [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , when , rather later than usual , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} came into [the room]_{379-the room} the morning after [her]_{129-katharine} walk by [the river]_{945-the river} , for visiting [[Shakespeare]_170-william ’s tomb]_{4842-shakespeare ’s tomb} . Any fact about [the poet]_{661-the poet} had become , for the moment , of far greater interest to [her]_{129-katharine} than the immediate present , and the certainty that there was existing in [England]_5-england a spot of ground where [Shakespeare]_170-william had undoubtedly stood , where [his]_170-william very bones lay directly beneath one ’s feet , was so absorbing to [her]_{129-katharine} on this particular occasion that [she]_{129-katharine} greeted [[her]_{129-katharine} daughter]_{373-her daughter} with the exclamation : “_[330-kew] D’you think [he]_2138-he ever passed [this house]_{1045-this house} ? ” The question , for the moment , seemed to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to have reference to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . “_[2138-he] On [his]_2138-he way to [Blackfriars]_{41-blackfriars} , [I]_0-i mean , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued , “_[2138-he] for [you]_2140-you know the latest discovery is that [he]_2138-he owned [a house]_{1541-a house} [there]_2927-there . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} still looked about [her]_{129-katharine} in perplexity , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} added : “_[2138-he] Which is a proof that [he]_2138-he was n’t as poor as [they]_2143-they ’ve sometimes said . [I]_0-i should like to think that [he]_2138-he had enough , though [I]_0-i do n’t in the least want [him]_2138-he to be rich . ” Then , perceiving [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s expression of perplexity , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} burst out laughing . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} , [I]_0-i ’m not talking about [[your]_2140-you William]_{2145-your william} , though that ’s another reason for liking [him]_2138-he . [I]_0-i ’m talking , [I]_0-i ’m thinking , [I]_0-i ’m dreaming of [[my]_0-i [William]_170-william]_{2146-my william} — [William Shakespeare]_170-william , of course . Is n’t it odd , ” [she]_0-i mused , standing at the window and tapping gently upon the pane , “_[0-i] that for all [one]_422-one can see , [that dear old thing in the blue bonnet , crossing [the road]_{941-the road} with [her]_{2148-that dear old thing in the blue bonnet , crossing the road with her basket on her arm} basket on [her]_{2148-that dear old thing in the blue bonnet , crossing the road with her basket on her arm} arm]_{2148-that dear old thing in the blue bonnet , crossing the road with her basket on her arm} , has never heard that there was [such a person]_{2150-such a person} ? Yet it all goes on : [lawyers]_1448-lawyers hurrying to [their]_1448-lawyers work , [cabmen]_2152-cabmen squabbling for [their]_2152-cabmen fares , [little boys]_{2153-little boys} rolling [their]_{2153-little boys} hoops , [little girls]_{2154-little girls} throwing bread to the gulls , as if there were n’t a Shakespeare in [the world]_{478-the world} . [I]_0-i should like to stand at that crossing all day long and say : ‘ [People]_383-people , read Shakespeare ! ’ ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sat down at [her]_{129-katharine} table and opened a long dusty envelope . As [Shelley]_173-shelley was mentioned in the course of the letter as if [he]_{2150-such a person} were alive , it had , of course , considerable value . [Her]_{129-katharine} immediate task was to decide whether the whole letter should be printed , or only the paragraph which mentioned [Shelley]_173-shelley ’s name , and [she]_{129-katharine} reached out for a pen and held it in readiness to do justice upon the sheet . [Her]_{129-katharine} pen , however , remained in the air . Almost surreptitiously [she]_{129-katharine} slipped a clean sheet in front of [her]_{129-katharine} , and [her]_{129-katharine} hand , descending , began drawing square boxes halved and quartered by straight lines , and then circles which underwent the same process of dissection . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! [I]_0-i ’ve hit upon a brilliant idea ! ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed—“to_[0-i] lay out , say , a hundred pounds or so on copies of [Shakespeare]_170-william , and give them to [working men]_{2157-working men} . [Some of [[your]_{129-katharine} clever friends who get up meetings]_{2159-your clever friends who get up meetings}]_{2158-some of your clever friends who get up meetings} might help [us]_2160-us , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . And that might lead to a playhouse , where [we]_2160-us could all take parts . [You]_{129-katharine} ’d be [Rosalind]_280-rosalind — but [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve a dash of [the old nurse]_{2161-the old nurse} in [you]_{129-katharine} . [[Your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} ’s Hamlet , come to years of discretion ; and [I’m]_2163-i’m — well , [I]_0-i ’m a bit of them all ; [I]_0-i ’m quite a large bit of [the fool]_{2164-the fool} , but [the fools in Shakespeare]_{2165-the fools in shakespeare} say all the clever things . Now who shall [William]_170-william be ? [A hero]_{2166-a hero} ? [Hotspur]_332-hotspur ? [Henry the Fifth]_333-henry ? No , [William]_170-william ’s got a touch of Hamlet in [him]_170-william , too . [I]_0-i can fancy that [William]_170-william talks to [himself]_170-william when [he]_170-william ’s alone . Ah , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} must say very beautiful things when [you]_{129-katharine} ’re together ! ” [she]_0-i added wistfully , with a glance at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} , who had told [her]_0-i nothing about the dinner the night before . “_{[129-katharine]} Oh , [we]_2167-we talk a lot of nonsense , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , hiding [her]_{129-katharine} slip of paper as [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} stood by [her]_{129-katharine} , and spreading the old letter about [Shelley]_173-shelley in front of [her]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} It wo n’t seem to [you]_{129-katharine} nonsense in ten years ’ time , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_{[129-katharine]} Believe [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} ’ll look back on these days afterwards ; [you]_{129-katharine} ’ll remember all the silly things [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve said ; and [you]_{129-katharine} ’ll find that [your]_{129-katharine} life has been built on them . The best of life is built on what [we]_2167-we say when [we]_2167-we ’re in love . It is n’t nonsense , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i urged , “_{[129-katharine]} it ’s the truth , it ’s the only truth . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was on the point of interrupting [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , and then [she]_{129-katharine} was on the point of confiding in [her]_{380-her mother} . [They]_4849-they came strangely close together sometimes . But , while [she]_{129-katharine} hesitated and sought for words not too direct , [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had recourse to Shakespeare , and turned page after page , set upon finding some quotation which said all this about love far , far better than [she]_{129-katharine} could . Accordingly , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} did nothing but scrub one of [her]_{129-katharine} circles an intense black with [her]_{129-katharine} pencil , in the midst of which process the telephone - bell rang , and [she]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} to answer it . When [she]_{129-katharine} returned , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had found not the passage [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} wanted , but another of exquisite beauty as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} justly observed , looking up for a second to ask [Katharine]_{129-katharine} who that was ? “_[175-mary] [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied briefly . “_[175-mary] Ah — [I]_0-i half wish [I]_0-i ’d called [you]_175-mary [Mary]_175-mary , but it would n’t have gone with [Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , and it would n’t have gone with [Rodney]_176-rodney . Now this is n’t the passage [I]_0-i wanted . ( [I]_0-i never can find what [I]_0-i want . ) But it ’s spring ; it ’s the daffodils ; it ’s [the green fields]_{2168-the green fields} ; it ’s the birds . ” [She]_0-i was cut short in [her]_0-i quotation by another imperative telephone - bell . Once more [Katharine]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1178-my dear child} , how odious the triumphs of science are ! ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed on [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} return . “_[2170-they] [They]_2170-they ’ll be linking [us]_2171-us with the moon next — but who was that ? ” “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied yet more briefly . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i ’ll forgive [William]_176-rodney anything , for [I]_0-i ’m certain that there are n’t any Williams in the moon . [I]_0-i hope [he]_176-rodney ’s coming to luncheon ? ” “_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney ’s coming to tea . ” “_[176-rodney] Well , that ’s better than nothing , and [I]_0-i promise to leave [you]_0-i alone . ” “_[0-i] There ’s no need for [you]_0-i to do that , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} swept [her]_{129-katharine} hand over the faded sheet , and drew [herself]_{129-katharine} up squarely to the table as if [she]_{129-katharine} refused to waste time any longer . The gesture was not lost upon [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} . It hinted at the existence of something stern and unapproachable in [[her]_{380-her mother} daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s character , which struck chill upon [her]_{380-her mother} , as the sight of poverty , or drunkenness , or the logic with which [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} sometimes thought good to demolish [her]_{380-her mother} certainty of an approaching millennium struck chill upon [her]_{380-her mother} . [She]_{129-katharine} went back to [her]_{129-katharine} own table , and putting on [her]_{129-katharine} spectacles with a curious expression of quiet humility , addressed [herself]_{129-katharine} for the first time that morning to the task before [her]_{129-katharine} . The shock with an unsympathetic world had a sobering effect on [her]_{129-katharine} . For once , [her]_{380-her mother} industry surpassed [[her]_{380-her mother} daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could not reduce [the world]_{478-the world} to that particular perspective in which [Harriet Martineau]_{334-harriet martineau} , for instance , was [a figure of solid importance , and possessed of a genuine relationship to this figure or to that date]_{4857-a figure of solid importance , and possessed of a genuine relationship to this figure or to that date} . Singularly enough , the sharp call of the telephone - bell still echoed in [her]_{129-katharine} ear , and [her]_{129-katharine} body and mind were in a state of tension , as if , at any moment , [she]_{129-katharine} might hear another summons of greater interest to [her]_{129-katharine} than the whole of the nineteenth century . [She]_{129-katharine} did not clearly realize what this call was to be ; but when the ears have got into the habit of listening , [they]_4858-they go on listening involuntarily , and thus [Katharine]_{129-katharine} spent the greater part of the morning in listening to a variety of sounds in [the back streets of [Chelsea]_10-chelsea]_{4859-the back streets of chelsea} . For the first time in [her]_{129-katharine} life , probably , [she]_{129-katharine} wished that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would not keep so closely to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} work . A quotation from [Shakespeare]_170-william would not have come amiss . Now and again [she]_{129-katharine} heard a sigh from [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s table , but that was the only proof [she]_{129-katharine} gave of [her]_{129-katharine} existence , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} did not think of connecting it with the square aspect of [her]_{129-katharine} own position at the table , or , perhaps , [she]_{129-katharine} would have thrown [her]_{129-katharine} pen down and told [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} the reason of [her]_{129-katharine} restlessness . The only writing [she]_{129-katharine} managed to accomplish in the course of the morning was one letter , addressed to [[her]_{129-katharine} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} , [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} — a rambling letter , long , affectionate , playful and commanding all at once . [She]_{129-katharine} bade [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} put [[her]_{303-cassandra} creatures]_{4863-her creatures} in the charge of [a groom]_{4864-a groom} , and come to [them]_{4863-her creatures} for a week or so . [They]_{4863-her creatures} would go and hear some music together . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s dislike of rational society , [she]_{129-katharine} said , was an affectation fast hardening into a prejudice , which would , in the long run , isolate [her]_{303-cassandra} from [all interesting people]_{4865-all interesting people} and pursuits . [She]_{129-katharine} was finishing the sheet when the sound [she]_{129-katharine} was anticipating all the time actually struck upon [her]_{129-katharine} ears . [She]_{129-katharine} jumped up hastily , and slammed the door with a sharpness which made [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} start . Where was [Katharine]_{129-katharine} off to ? In [her]_{129-katharine} preoccupied state [she]_{129-katharine} had not heard the bell . [The alcove on the stairs , in which the telephone was placed]_{4866-the alcove on the stairs , in which the telephone was placed} , was screened for privacy by a curtain of purple velvet . It was a pocket for superfluous possessions , such as exist in [most houses which harbor the wreckage of three generations]_{4867-most houses which harbor the wreckage of three generations} . Prints of [great - uncles]_{4868-great - uncles} , famed for [their]_{4868-great - uncles} prowess in [the East]_{1258-the east} , hung above Chinese teapots , whose sides were riveted by little gold stitches , and the precious teapots , again , stood upon bookcases containing the complete works of [William Cowper]_{335-william cowper} and [Sir Walter Scott]_{336-sir walter scott} . The thread of sound , issuing from the telephone , was always colored by the surroundings which received it , so it seemed to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Whose voice was now going to combine with [them]_4870-them , or to strike a discord ? “_[0-i] Whose voice ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked [herself]_{129-katharine} , hearing [a man]_{1147-a man} inquire , with great determination , for [her]_{129-katharine} number . The unfamiliar voice now asked for [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . Out of all the welter of voices which crowd round the far end of the telephone , out of the enormous range of possibilities , whose voice , what possibility , was this ? A pause gave [her]_{129-katharine} time to ask [herself]_{129-katharine} this question . It was solved next moment . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve looked out [the train]_{510-the train} .... Early on Saturday afternoon would suit [me]_0-i best .... [I]_0-i ’m [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph .... But [I]_0-i ’ll write it down .... ” With more than the usual sense of being impinged upon the point of a bayonet , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i could come . [I]_0-i ’ll look at [my]_0-i engagements .... Hold on . ” [She]_{129-katharine} dropped the machine , and looked fixedly at the print of [the great - uncle who had not ceased to gaze , with an air of amiable authority]_{4872-the great - uncle who had not ceased to gaze , with an air of amiable authority} , into a world which , as yet , beheld no symptoms of the Indian Mutiny . And yet , gently swinging against the wall , within the black tube , was a voice which recked nothing of [Uncle James]_337-james , of China teapots , or of red velvet curtains . [She]_{129-katharine} watched the oscillation of the tube , and at the same moment became conscious of the individuality of [the house in which [she]_{129-katharine} stood]_{4873-the house in which she stood} ; [she]_{129-katharine} heard the soft domestic sounds of regular existence upon staircases and floors above [her]_{129-katharine} head , and movements through the wall in [the house next door]_{4874-the house next door} . [She]_{129-katharine} had no very clear vision of [Denham]_154-ralph [himself]_154-ralph , when [she]_{129-katharine} lifted the telephone to [her]_{129-katharine} lips and replied that [she]_{129-katharine} thought Saturday would suit [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} hoped that [he]_154-ralph would not say good - bye at once , although [she]_{129-katharine} felt no particular anxiety to attend to what [he]_154-ralph was saying , and began , even while [he]_154-ralph spoke , to think of [[her]_{129-katharine} own upper room]_{4875-her own upper room} , with [its]_{4875-her own upper room} books , [its]_{4875-her own upper room} papers pressed between the leaves of dictionaries , and the table that could be cleared for work . [She]_{129-katharine} replaced the instrument , thoughtfully ; [her]_{129-katharine} restlessness was assuaged ; [she]_{129-katharine} finished [her]_{129-katharine} letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} without difficulty , addressed the envelope , and fixed the stamp with [her]_{129-katharine} usual quick decision . A bunch of anemones caught [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s eye when [they]_2173-they had finished luncheon . The blue and purple and white of the bowl , standing in a pool of variegated light on a polished Chippendale table in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} window , made [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stop dead with an exclamation of pleasure . “_[0-i] Who is lying ill in bed , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} demanded . “_{[129-katharine]} Which of [[our]_2173-they friends]_{1482-our friends} wants cheering up ? Who feels that [they]_{1482-our friends} ’ve been forgotten and passed over , and that [nobody]_2970-nobody wants [them]_{1482-our friends} ? Whose water rates are overdue , and [the cook]_{2176-the cook} leaving in a temper without waiting for [her]_{2176-the cook} wages ? There was [somebody]_896-somebody [I]_0-i know — ” [she]_{129-katharine} concluded , but for the moment the name of [this desirable acquaintance]_{4877-this desirable acquaintance} escaped [her]_{129-katharine} . [The best representative of [the forlorn company whose day would be brightened by a bunch of anemones]_{4879-the forlorn company whose day would be brightened by a bunch of anemones}]_{4878-the best representative of the forlorn company whose day would be brightened by a bunch of anemones} was , in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s opinion , [the widow of [a general living in [the Cromwell Road]_{4882-the cromwell road}]_{4881-a general living in the cromwell road}]_{4880-the widow of a general living in the cromwell road} . In default of [the actually destitute and starving]_{4883-the actually destitute and starving} , whom [she]_{129-katharine} would much have preferred , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was forced to acknowledge [her]_{129-katharine} claims , for though in comfortable circumstances , [she]_{129-katharine} was extremely dull , unattractive , connected in some oblique fashion with literature , and had been touched to the verge of tears , on one occasion , by an afternoon call . It happened that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had an engagement elsewhere , so that the task of taking the flowers to [the Cromwell Road]_{4882-the cromwell road} fell upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} took [her]_{129-katharine} letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} with [her]_{129-katharine} , meaning to post it in the first pillar - box [she]_{129-katharine} came to . When , however , [she]_{129-katharine} was fairly out of doors , and constantly invited by pillar - boxes and [post - offices]_{4885-post - offices} to slip [her]_{129-katharine} envelope down [their]_{4885-post - offices} scarlet throats , [she]_{129-katharine} forbore . [She]_{129-katharine} made absurd excuses , as that [she]_{129-katharine} did not wish to cross [the road]_{941-the road} , or that [she]_{129-katharine} was certain to pass [another post - office]_{4887-another post - office} in a more central position a little farther on . The longer [she]_{129-katharine} held the letter in [her]_{129-katharine} hand , however , the more persistently certain questions pressed upon [her]_{129-katharine} , as if from a collection of voices in the air . [These invisible people]_{4888-these invisible people} wished to be informed whether [she]_{129-katharine} was engaged to [William Rodney]_176-rodney , or was the engagement broken off ? Was it right , [they]_{4888-these invisible people} asked , to invite [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} for a visit , and was [William Rodney]_176-rodney in love with [her]_{303-cassandra} , or likely to fall in love ? Then [the questioners]_{4889-the questioners} paused for a moment , and resumed as if another side of the problem had just come to [their]_{4888-these invisible people} notice . What did [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph mean by what [he]_154-ralph said to [you]_{129-katharine} last night ? Do [you]_{129-katharine} consider that [he]_154-ralph is in love with [you]_{129-katharine} ? Is it right to consent to a solitary walk with [him]_154-ralph , and what advice are [you]_{129-katharine} going to give [him]_154-ralph about [his]_154-ralph future ? Has [William Rodney]_176-rodney cause to be jealous of [your]_{129-katharine} conduct , and what do [you]_{129-katharine} propose to do about [Mary Datchet]_175-mary ? What are [you]_{129-katharine} going to do ? What does honor require [you]_{129-katharine} to do ? [they]_{4888-these invisible people} repeated . “_{[896-somebody]} Good Heavens ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , after listening to all these remarks , “_{[896-somebody]} [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i ought to make up [my]_0-i mind . ” But the debate was a formal skirmishing , a pastime to gain breathing - space . Like [all people brought up in a tradition]_{4890-all people brought up in a tradition} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was able , within ten minutes or so , to reduce any moral difficulty to its traditional shape and solve it by the traditional answers . The book of wisdom lay open , if not upon [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s knee , upon the knees of [many uncles]_{4892-many uncles} and [aunts]_707-aunts . [She]_{129-katharine} had only to consult [them]_{4888-these invisible people} , and [they]_{4888-these invisible people} would at once turn to the right page and read out an answer exactly suited to one in [her]_{129-katharine} position . The rules which should govern the behavior of [an unmarried woman]_{4894-an unmarried woman} are written in red ink , graved upon marble , if , by some freak of nature , it should fall out that [the unmarried woman]_{4895-the unmarried woman} has not the same writing scored upon [her]_{4895-the unmarried woman} heart . [She]_{129-katharine} was ready to believe that [some people]_{4896-some people} are fortunate enough to reject , accept , resign , or lay down [their]_{4896-some people} lives at the bidding of traditional authority ; [she]_{129-katharine} could envy [them]_{4896-some people} ; but in [her]_{129-katharine} case the questions became phantoms directly [she]_{129-katharine} tried seriously to find an answer , which proved that the traditional answer would be of no use to [her]_{129-katharine} individually . Yet it had served so [many people]_{4400-many people} , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , glancing at [the rows of houses on either side of [her]_{129-katharine}]_{4898-the rows of houses on either side of her} , where [families , whose incomes must be between a thousand and fifteen - hundred a year]_{4899-families , whose incomes must be between a thousand and fifteen - hundred a year} lived , and kept , perhaps , [three servants]_{4900-three servants} , and draped [their]_{4900-three servants} windows with curtains which were always thick and generally dirty , and must , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , since [you]_4901-you could only see a looking - glass gleaming above a sideboard on which a dish of apples was set , keep [the room]_{379-the room} inside very dark . But [she]_{129-katharine} turned [her]_{129-katharine} head away , observing that this was not a method of thinking the matter out . The only truth which [she]_{129-katharine} could discover was the truth of what [she]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} felt — a frail beam when compared with the broad illumination shed by the eyes of [all the people who are in agreement to see together]_{4903-all the people who are in agreement to see together} ; but having rejected the visionary voices , [she]_{129-katharine} had no choice but to make this [her]_{129-katharine} guide through the dark masses which confronted [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} tried to follow [her]_{129-katharine} beam , with an expression upon [her]_{129-katharine} face which would have made [any passer - by]_{4904-any passer - by} think [her]_{129-katharine} reprehensibly and almost ridiculously detached from the surrounding scene . [One]_422-one would have felt alarmed lest [this young and striking woman]_{4906-this young and striking woman} were about to do something eccentric . But [her]_{129-katharine} beauty saved [her]_{129-katharine} from the worst fate that can befall [a pedestrian]_{4907-a pedestrian} ; [people]_383-people looked at [her]_{129-katharine} , but [they]_383-people did not laugh . To seek a true feeling among the chaos of [the unfeelings or half - feelings of life]_{4909-the unfeelings or half - feelings of life} , to recognize it when found , and to accept the consequences of the discovery , draws lines upon the smoothest brow , while it quickens the light of the eyes ; it is a pursuit which is alternately bewildering , debasing , and exalting , and , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} speedily found , [her]_{129-katharine} discoveries gave [her]_{129-katharine} equal cause for surprise , shame , and intense anxiety . Much depended , as usual , upon the interpretation of the word love ; which word came up again and again , whether [she]_{129-katharine} considered [Rodney]_176-rodney , [Denham]_154-ralph , [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , or [herself]_{129-katharine} ; and in each case it seemed to stand for something different , and yet for something unmistakable and something not to be passed by . For the more [she]_{129-katharine} looked into the confusion of lives which , instead of running parallel , had suddenly intersected each other , the more distinctly [she]_{129-katharine} seemed to convince [herself]_{129-katharine} that there was no other light on them than was shed by this strange illumination , and no other path save the one upon which it threw its beams . [Her]_{129-katharine} blindness in the case of [Rodney]_176-rodney , [her]_{129-katharine} attempt to match [his]_176-rodney true feeling with [her]_{129-katharine} false feeling , was a failure never to be sufficiently condemned ; indeed , [she]_{129-katharine} could only pay it the tribute of leaving it a black and naked landmark unburied by attempt at oblivion or excuse . With this to humiliate there was much to exalt . [She]_{129-katharine} thought of three different scenes ; [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [Mary]_175-mary sitting upright and saying , “_{[896-somebody]} [I]_0-i ’m in love — [I’m]_0-i in love ” ; [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [Rodney]_176-rodney losing [his]_176-rodney self - consciousness among the dead leaves , and speaking with the abandonment of [a child]_{541-a child} ; [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [Denham]_154-ralph leaning upon the stone parapet and talking to the distant sky , so that [she]_{129-katharine} thought [him]_154-ralph mad . [Her]_{129-katharine} mind , passing from [Mary]_175-mary to [Denham]_154-ralph , from [William]_176-rodney to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and from [Denham]_154-ralph to [herself]_{129-katharine} — if , as [she]_{129-katharine} rather doubted , [Denham]_154-ralph ’s state of mind was connected with [herself]_{129-katharine} — seemed to be tracing out the lines of some symmetrical pattern , some arrangement of life , which invested , if not [herself]_{129-katharine} , at least the others , not only with interest , but with a kind of tragic beauty . [She]_{129-katharine} had a fantastic picture of [them]_4911-their upholding splendid palaces upon [their]_4911-their bent backs . [They]_4911-their were [the lantern - bearers , whose lights , scattered among the crowd]_{4912-the lantern - bearers , whose lights , scattered among the crowd} , wove a pattern , dissolving , joining , meeting again in combination . Half forming such conceptions as these in [her]_{129-katharine} rapid walk along [the dreary streets of [South Kensington]_{83-south kensington}]_{4913-the dreary streets of south kensington} , [she]_{129-katharine} determined that , whatever else might be obscure , [she]_{129-katharine} must further the objects of [Mary]_175-mary , [Denham]_154-ralph , [William]_176-rodney , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . The way was not apparent . No course of action seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} indubitably right . All [she]_{129-katharine} achieved by [her]_{129-katharine} thinking was the conviction that , in such a cause , no risk was too great ; and that , far from making any rules for [herself]_{129-katharine} or [others]_1056-others , [she]_{129-katharine} would let difficulties accumulate unsolved , situations widen [their]_4911-their jaws unsatiated , while [she]_{129-katharine} maintained a position of absolute and fearless independence . So [she]_{129-katharine} could best serve [the people who loved]_{4915-the people who loved} . Read in the light of this exaltation , there was a new meaning in the words which [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} had penciled upon the card attached to the bunch of anemones . The door of [the house]_{377-the house} in [the Cromwell Road]_{4882-the cromwell road} opened ; gloomy vistas of [passage and staircase]_{4919-passage and staircase} were revealed ; such light as there was seemed to be concentrated upon a silver salver of visiting - cards , whose black borders suggested that [[the widow]_{4920-the widow} ’s friends]_{4921-the widow ’s friends} had all suffered the same bereavement . [The parlor - maid]_{536-the parlor - maid} could hardly be expected to fathom the meaning of the grave tone in which [the young lady]_{4923-the young lady} proffered the flowers , with [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s love ; and the door shut upon the offering . The sight of a face , the slam of a door , are both rather destructive of exaltation in the abstract ; and , as [she]_{129-katharine} walked back to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had [her]_{129-katharine} doubts whether anything would come of [her]_{129-katharine} resolves . If [you]_4924-you can not make sure of [people]_383-people , however , [you]_4924-you can hold fairly fast to figures , and in some way or other [her]_{129-katharine} thought about such problems as [she]_{129-katharine} was wo nt to consider worked in happily with [her]_{129-katharine} mood as to [[her]_{129-katharine} friends]_{3225-her friends} ’ lives . [She]_{129-katharine} reached [home]_2992-home rather late for tea . On the ancient Dutch chest in [the hall]_{3431-the hall} [she]_{129-katharine} perceived one or two hats , coats , and walking - sticks , and the sound of voices reached [her]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{129-katharine} stood outside [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} door . [[Her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} gave a little cry as [she]_{380-her mother} came in ; a cry which conveyed to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} the fact that [she]_{380-her mother} was late , that the teacups and milk - jugs were in a conspiracy of disobedience , and that [she]_{380-her mother} must immediately take [her]_{380-her mother} place at the head of the table and pour out tea for [the guests]_{4931-the guests} . [Augustus Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} , [the diarist]_{4932-the diarist} , liked a calm atmosphere in which to tell [his]_{208-mr. pelham} stories ; [he]_{208-mr. pelham} liked attention ; [he]_{208-mr. pelham} liked to elicit little facts , little stories , about the past and the great dead , from such distinguished characters as [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} for the nourishment of [his]_{208-mr. pelham} diary , for whose sake [he]_{208-mr. pelham} frequented tea - tables and ate yearly an enormous quantity of buttered toast . [He]_{208-mr. pelham} , therefore , welcomed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} with relief , and [she]_{129-katharine} had merely to shake hands with [Rodney]_176-rodney and to greet [the American lady who had come to be shown the relics]_{4933-the american lady who had come to be shown the relics} , before the talk started again on the broad lines of reminiscence and discussion which were familiar to [her]_{129-katharine} . Yet , even with this thick veil between [them]_4934-them , [she]_{129-katharine} could not help looking at [Rodney]_176-rodney , as if [she]_{129-katharine} could detect what had happened to [him]_176-rodney since [they]_4934-them met . It was in vain . [His]_176-rodney clothes , even the white slip , the pearl in [his]_176-rodney tie , seemed to intercept [her]_{129-katharine} quick glance , and to proclaim the futility of such inquiries of [a discreet , urbane gentleman , who balanced [his]_176-rodney cup of tea and poised a slice of bread and butter on the edge of the saucer]_{4935-a discreet , urbane gentleman , who balanced his cup of tea and poised a slice of bread and butter on the edge of the saucer} . [He]_176-rodney would not meet [her]_{129-katharine} eye , but that could be accounted for by [his]_176-rodney activity in serving and helping , and the polite alacrity with which [he]_176-rodney was answering the questions of [the American visitor]_{4936-the american visitor} . It was certainly a sight to daunt [any one coming in with a head full of theories about love]_{4937-any one coming in with a head full of theories about love} . The voices of [the invisible questioners]_{4938-the invisible questioners} were reinforced by the scene round the table , and sounded with a tremendous self - confidence , as if [they]_{4938-the invisible questioners} had behind [them]_{4938-the invisible questioners} the common sense of twenty generations , together with the immediate approval of [Mr. Augustus Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} , [Mrs. Vermont Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} , [William Rodney]_176-rodney , and , possibly , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} set [her]_{129-katharine} teeth , not entirely in the metaphorical sense , for [her]_{129-katharine} hand , obeying the impulse towards definite action , laid firmly upon the table beside [her]_{129-katharine} an envelope which [she]_{129-katharine} had been grasping all this time in complete forgetfulness . The address was uppermost , and a moment later [she]_{129-katharine} saw [William]_176-rodney ’s eye rest upon it as [he]_176-rodney rose to fulfil some duty with a plate . [His]_176-rodney expression instantly changed . [He]_176-rodney did what [he]_176-rodney was on the point of doing , and then looked at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} with a look which revealed enough of [his]_176-rodney confusion to show [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_176-rodney was not entirely represented by [his]_176-rodney appearance . In a minute or two [he]_176-rodney proved [himself]_176-rodney at a loss with [Mrs. Vermont Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , aware of the silence with [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} usual quickness , suggested that , perhaps , it was now time that [Mrs. Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} should be shown “_{[896-somebody]} [our]_2178-our things . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} accordingly rose , and led the way to [the little inner room]_{4939-the little inner room} with the pictures and the books . [Mrs. Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} and [Rodney]_176-rodney followed [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_0-i turned on the lights , and began directly in [her]_0-i low , pleasant voice : “_[0-i] This table is [[my]_0-i grandfather]_{2938-my grandfather} ’s writing - table . Most of the later poems were written at [it]_2180-it . And this is [his]_{2938-my grandfather} pen — the last pen [he]_{2938-my grandfather} ever used . ” [She]_0-i took it in [her]_0-i hand and paused for the right number of seconds . “_{[2938-my grandfather]} Here , ” [she]_0-i continued , “_{[2938-my grandfather]} is the original manuscript of the ‘ Ode to [Winter]_140-winter . ’ The early manuscripts are far less corrected than the later ones , as [you]_2181-you will see directly .... Oh , do take it [yourself]_2181-you , ” [she]_0-i added , as [Mrs. Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} asked , in an awestruck tone of voice , for that privilege , and began a preliminary unbuttoning of [her]_0-i white kid gloves . “_[2181-you] [You]_2181-you are wonderfully like [[your]_2181-you grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ” [the American lady]_{4940-the american lady} observed , gazing from [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to the portrait , “_{[129-katharine]} especially about the eyes . Come , now , [I]_0-i expect [she]_0-i writes poetry [herself]_0-i , does n’t [she]_0-i ? ” [she]_0-i asked in a jocular tone , turning to [William]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] Quite one ’s ideal of [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , is it not , [Mr. Rodney]_{183-mr. rodney} ? [I]_0-i can not tell [you]_2181-you what a privilege [I]_0-i feel it to be standing just here with [[the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s granddaughter]_{1067-the poet ’s granddaughter} . [You]_2181-you must know [we]_2186-we think a great deal of [[your]_2181-you grandfather]_{2954-your grandfather} in [America]_75-america , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . [We]_2186-we have societies for reading [him]_{2954-your grandfather} aloud . What ! [His]_{2954-your grandfather} very own slippers ! ” Laying aside the manuscript , [she]_0-i hastily grasped the old shoes , and remained for a moment dumb in contemplation of them . While [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went on steadily with [her]_{129-katharine} duties as [show - woman]_{4941-show - woman} , [Rodney]_176-rodney examined intently a row of little drawings which [he]_176-rodney knew by heart already . [His]_176-rodney disordered state of mind made it necessary for [him]_176-rodney to take advantage of these little respites , as if [he]_176-rodney had been out in a high wind and must straighten [his]_176-rodney dress in the first shelter [he]_176-rodney reached . [His]_176-rodney calm was only superficial , as [he]_176-rodney knew too well ; it did not exist much below the surface of tie , waistcoat , and white slip . On getting out of bed that morning [he]_176-rodney had fully made up [his]_176-rodney mind to ignore what had been said the night before ; [he]_176-rodney had been convinced , by the sight of [Denham]_154-ralph , that [his]_176-rodney love for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was passionate , and when [he]_176-rodney addressed [her]_{129-katharine} early that morning on the telephone , [he]_176-rodney had meant [his]_176-rodney cheerful but authoritative tones to convey to [her]_{129-katharine} the fact that , after a night of madness , [they]_4942-they were as indissolubly engaged as ever . But when [he]_176-rodney reached [[his]_176-rodney office]_{1292-his office} [his]_176-rodney torments began . [He]_176-rodney found a letter from [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} waiting for [him]_176-rodney . [She]_{303-cassandra} had read [his]_176-rodney play , and had taken the very first opportunity to write and tell [him]_176-rodney what [she]_{303-cassandra} thought of it . [She]_{303-cassandra} knew , [she]_{303-cassandra} wrote , that [her]_{303-cassandra} praise meant absolutely nothing ; but still , [she]_{303-cassandra} had sat up all night ; [she]_{303-cassandra} thought this , that , and the other ; [she]_{303-cassandra} was full of enthusiasm most elaborately scratched out in places , but enough was written plain to gratify [William]_176-rodney ’s vanity exceedingly . [She]_{303-cassandra} was quite intelligent enough to say the right things , or , even more charmingly , to hint at them . In other ways , too , it was a very charming letter . [She]_{303-cassandra} told [him]_176-rodney about [her]_{303-cassandra} music , and about a Suffrage meeting to which [Henry]_333-henry had taken [her]_{303-cassandra} , and [she]_{303-cassandra} asserted , half seriously , that [she]_{303-cassandra} had learnt the Greek alphabet , and found it “_{[2954-your grandfather]} fascinating . ” The word was underlined . Had [she]_{303-cassandra} laughed when [she]_{303-cassandra} drew that line ? Was [she]_{303-cassandra} ever serious ? Did n’t the letter show the most engaging compound of enthusiasm and spirit and whimsicality , all tapering into a flame of girlish freakishness , which flitted , for the rest of the morning , as a will - o’-the - wisp , across [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s landscape . [He]_176-rodney could not resist beginning an answer to [her]_{303-cassandra} there and then . [He]_176-rodney found it particularly delightful to shape [a style which should express the bowing and curtsying , advancing and retreating]_{4944-a style which should express the bowing and curtsying , advancing and retreating} , which are characteristic of one of the many million partnerships of [men]_719-men and [women]_557-women . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} never trod that particular measure , [he]_176-rodney could not help reflecting ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ; [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — they alternated in [his]_176-rodney consciousness all day long . It was all very well to dress [oneself]_4947-oneself carefully , compose [one]_422-one ’s face , and start off punctually at half - past four to [a tea - party in [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk}]_{4949-a tea - party in cheyne walk} , but [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} only knew what would come of it all , and when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , after sitting silent with [her]_{129-katharine} usual immobility , wantonly drew from [her]_{129-katharine} pocket and slapped down on the table beneath [his]_176-rodney eyes a letter addressed to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} [herself]_{303-cassandra} , [his]_176-rodney composure deserted [him]_176-rodney . What did [she]_{129-katharine} mean by [her]_{129-katharine} behavior ? [He]_176-rodney looked up sharply from [his]_176-rodney row of little pictures . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was disposing of [the American lady]_{4940-the american lady} in far too arbitrary a fashion . Surely [the victim]_{4951-the victim} [herself]_{4940-the american lady} must see how foolish [her]_{4940-the american lady} enthusiasms appeared in the eyes of [[the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s granddaughter]_{1067-the poet ’s granddaughter} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} never made any attempt to spare [people]_383-people ’s feelings , [he]_176-rodney reflected ; and , being [himself]_176-rodney very sensitive to all shades of comfort and discomfort , [he]_176-rodney cut short [the auctioneer]_{4955-the auctioneer} ’s catalog , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was reeling off more and more absent - mindedly , and took [Mrs. Vermont Bankes]_{338-mrs. vermont bankes} , with a queer sense of fellowship in suffering , under [his]_176-rodney own protection . But within a few minutes [the American lady]_{4940-the american lady} had completed [her]_{4940-the american lady} inspection , and inclining [her]_{4940-the american lady} head in a little nod of reverential farewell to [the poet]_{661-the poet} and [his]_{661-the poet} shoes , [she]_{4940-the american lady} was escorted [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} by [Rodney]_176-rodney . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stayed by [herself]_{129-katharine} in [the little room]_{443-the little room} . The ceremony of ancestor - worship had been more than usually oppressive to [her]_{129-katharine} . Moreover , [the room]_{379-the room} was becoming crowded beyond the bounds of order . Only that morning a heavily insured proof - sheet had reached [them]_4961-them from [a collector in [Australia]_85-australia]_{4962-a collector in australia} , which recorded a change of [the poet]_{661-the poet} ’s mind about a very famous phrase , and , therefore , had claims to the honor of glazing and framing . But was there room for it ? Must it be hung on the staircase , or should [some other relic]_{4964-some other relic} give place to do it honor ? Feeling unable to decide the question , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} glanced at the portrait of [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} , as if to ask [his]_{446-her grandfather} opinion . [The artist who had painted it]_{4966-the artist who had painted it} was now out of fashion , and by dint of showing it to [visitors]_{2950-visitors} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had almost ceased to see anything but a glow of faintly pleasing pink and brown tints , enclosed within a circular scroll of gilt laurel - leaves . [The young man who was [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather}]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} looked vaguely over [her]_{129-katharine} head . The sensual lips were slightly parted , and gave the face an expression of beholding something lovely or miraculous vanishing or just rising upon the rim of the distance . The expression repeated itself curiously upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s face as [she]_{129-katharine} gazed up into [his]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} . [They]_4970-they were the same age , or very nearly so . [She]_{129-katharine} wondered what [he]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} was looking for ; were there waves beating upon a shore for [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} , too , [she]_{129-katharine} wondered , and [heroes]_4971-heroes riding through [the leaf - hung forests]_{4972-the leaf - hung forests} ? For perhaps the first time in [her]_{129-katharine} life [she]_{129-katharine} thought of [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} as [a man]_{1147-a man} , young , unhappy , tempestuous , full of desires and faults ; for the first time [she]_{129-katharine} realized [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} for [herself]_{129-katharine} , and not from [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s memory . [He]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} might have been [[her]_{129-katharine} brother]_{581-her brother} , [she]_{129-katharine} thought . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that [they]_4976-they were akin , with the mysterious kinship of blood which makes it seem possible to interpret the sights which the eyes of the dead behold so intently , or even to believe that [they]_4976-they look with [us]_4977-us upon [our]_4977-us present joys and sorrows . [He]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} would have understood , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , suddenly ; and instead of laying [her]_{129-katharine} withered flowers upon [his]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} shrine , [she]_{129-katharine} brought [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} [her]_{129-katharine} own perplexities — perhaps a gift of greater value , should [the dead]_{722-the dead} be conscious of gifts , than flowers and incense and adoration . Doubts , questionings , and despondencies [she]_{129-katharine} felt , as [she]_{129-katharine} looked up , would be more welcome to [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} than homage , and [he]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} would hold them but a very small burden if [she]_{129-katharine} gave [him]_{4968-the young man who was her grandfather} , also , some share in what [she]_{129-katharine} suffered and achieved . The depth of [her]_{129-katharine} own pride and love were not more apparent to [her]_{129-katharine} than the sense that [the dead]_{722-the dead} asked neither flowers nor regrets , but a share in the life which [they]_{722-the dead} had given [her]_{129-katharine} , the life which [they]_{722-the dead} had lived . [Rodney]_176-rodney found [her]_{129-katharine} a moment later sitting beneath [[her]_{129-katharine} grandfather]_{446-her grandfather} ’s portrait . [She]_0-i laid [her]_0-i hand on the seat next [her]_{129-katharine} in a friendly way , and said : “_{[2954-your grandfather]} Come and sit down , [William]_176-rodney . How glad [I]_0-i was [you]_176-rodney were [here]_2985-here ! [I]_0-i felt [myself]_0-i getting ruder and ruder . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i are not good at hiding [your]_0-i feelings , ” [he]_176-rodney returned dryly . “_[0-i] Oh , do n’t scold [me]_0-i — [I’ve]_0-i had a horrid afternoon . ” [She]_0-i told [him]_176-rodney how [she]_0-i had taken the flowers to [Mrs. McCormick]_{339-mrs. mccormick} , and how [South Kensington]_{83-south kensington} impressed [her]_0-i as [the preserve of [[officers]_{4982-officers} ’ widows]_{4983-officers ’ widows}]_{4981-the preserve of officers ’ widows} . [She]_0-i described how the door had opened , and what gloomy avenues of busts and palm - trees and umbrellas had been revealed to [her]_0-i . [She]_0-i spoke lightly , and succeeded in putting [him]_176-rodney at [his]_176-rodney ease . Indeed , [he]_176-rodney rapidly became too much at [his]_176-rodney ease to persist in a condition of cheerful neutrality . [He]_176-rodney felt [his]_176-rodney composure slipping from [him]_176-rodney . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} made it seem so natural to ask [her]_{129-katharine} to help [him]_176-rodney , or advise [him]_176-rodney , to say straight out what [he]_176-rodney had in [his]_176-rodney mind . The letter from [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was heavy in [his]_176-rodney pocket . There was also the letter to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} lying on the table in [the next room]_{472-the next room} . The atmosphere seemed charged with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . But , unless [Katharine]_{129-katharine} began the subject of [her]_{129-katharine} own accord , [he]_176-rodney could not even hint — [he]_176-rodney must ignore the whole affair ; it was the part of [a gentleman]_{1158-a gentleman} to preserve a bearing that was , as far as [he]_176-rodney could make it , the bearing of [an undoubting lover]_{4986-an undoubting lover} . At intervals [he]_176-rodney sighed deeply . [He]_176-rodney talked rather more quickly than usual about the possibility that some of the operas of [Mozart]_190-mozart would be played in the summer . [He]_176-rodney had received a notice , [he]_176-rodney said , and at once produced a pocket - book stuffed with papers , and began shuffling them in search . [He]_176-rodney held a thick envelope between [his]_176-rodney finger and thumb , as if the notice from [the opera company]_{4987-the opera company} had become in some way inseparably attached to it . “_[0-i] A letter from [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , in the easiest voice in [the world]_{478-the world} , looking over [his]_176-rodney shoulder . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i ’ve just written to ask [her]_{303-cassandra} to come [here]_2985-here , only [I]_0-i forgot to post it . ” [He]_176-rodney handed [her]_{129-katharine} the envelope in silence . [She]_{129-katharine} took it , extracted the sheets , and read the letter through . The reading seemed to [Rodney]_176-rodney to take an intolerably long time . “_[0-i] Yes , ” [she]_{129-katharine} observed at length , “_[0-i] a very charming letter . ” [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s face was half turned away , as if in bashfulness . [Her]_{129-katharine} view of [his]_176-rodney profile almost moved [her]_{129-katharine} to laughter . [She]_{129-katharine} glanced through the pages once more . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see no harm , ” [William]_176-rodney blurted out , “_[0-i] in helping [her]_{303-cassandra} — with Greek , for example — if [she]_{303-cassandra} really cares for that sort of thing . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} There ’s no reason why [she]_{303-cassandra} should n’t care , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , consulting the pages once more . “_{[303-cassandra]} In fact — ah , here it is—‘The Greek alphabet is absolutely fascinating . ’ Obviously [she]_{303-cassandra} does care . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Well , Greek may be rather a large order . [I]_0-i was thinking chiefly of English . [Her]_{303-cassandra} criticisms of [my]_0-i play , though they ’re too generous , evidently immature — [she]_{303-cassandra} ca n’t be more than twenty - two , [I]_0-i suppose?—they certainly show the sort of thing [one]_422-one wants : real feeling for poetry , understanding , not formed , of course , but it ’s at the root of everything after all . There ’d be no harm in lending [her]_{303-cassandra} books ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} No . Certainly not . ” “_{[129-katharine]} But if it — hum — led to a correspondence ? [I]_0-i mean , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_0-i take it , without going into matters which seem to [me]_0-i a little morbid , [I]_0-i mean , ” [he]_4989-he floundered , “_{[129-katharine]} [you]_{129-katharine} , from [your]_{129-katharine} point of view , feel that there ’s nothing disagreeable to [you]_{129-katharine} in the notion ? If so , [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve only to speak , and [I]_0-i never think of it again . ” [She]_{129-katharine} was surprised by the violence of [her]_{129-katharine} desire that [he]_4989-he never should think of it again . For an instant it seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} impossible to surrender an intimacy , which might not be the intimacy of love , but was certainly the intimacy of true friendship , to [any woman in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4990-any woman in the world} . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} would never understand [him]_4989-he — [she]_{303-cassandra} was not good enough for [him]_4989-he . The letter seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} a letter of flattery — a letter addressed to [his]_4989-he weakness , which it made [her]_{129-katharine} angry to think was known to another . For [he]_4989-he was not weak ; [he]_4989-he had the rare strength of doing what [he]_4989-he promised — [she]_{129-katharine} had only to speak , and [he]_4989-he would never think of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} again . [She]_{129-katharine} paused . [Rodney]_176-rodney guessed the reason . [He]_176-rodney was amazed . “_[2191-her] [She]_2191-her loves [me]_0-i , ” [he]_176-rodney thought . [The woman [he]_176-rodney admired more than any one in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4992-the woman he admired more than any one in the world} , loved [him]_176-rodney , as [he]_176-rodney had given up hope that [she]_2191-her would ever love [him]_176-rodney . And now that for the first time [he]_176-rodney was sure of [her]_2191-her love , [he]_176-rodney resented it . [He]_176-rodney felt it as a fetter , an encumbrance , something which made [them]_4994-them both , but [him]_176-rodney in particular , ridiculous . [He]_176-rodney was in [her]_2191-her power completely , but [his]_176-rodney eyes were open and [he]_176-rodney was no longer [[her]_2191-her slave]_{4995-her slave} or [[her]_2191-her dupe]_{4996-her dupe} . [He]_176-rodney would be [[her]_2191-her master]_{4997-her master} in future . The instant prolonged itself as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} realized the strength of [her]_{129-katharine} desire to speak the words that should keep [William]_176-rodney for ever , and the baseness of the temptation which assailed [her]_{129-katharine} to make the movement , or speak the word , which [he]_176-rodney had often begged [her]_{129-katharine} for , which [she]_{129-katharine} was now near enough to feeling . [She]_{129-katharine} held the letter in [her]_{129-katharine} hand . [She]_{129-katharine} sat silent . At this moment there was a stir in [the other room]_{467-the other room} ; the voice of [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was heard talking of proof - sheets rescued by miraculous providence from [butcher]_4999-butcher ’s ledgers in [Australia]_85-australia ; the curtain separating [one room]_{5000-one room} from the other was drawn apart , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [Augustus Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} stood in the doorway . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stopped short . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} , and at [the man [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} was to marry]_{5002-the man her daughter was to marry} , with [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} peculiar smile that always seemed to tremble on the brink of satire . “_[2191-her] The best of all [my]_0-i treasures , [Mr. Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . “_{[129-katharine]} Do n’t move , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Sit still , [William]_176-rodney . [Mr. Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} will come another day . ” [Mr. Pelham]_{208-mr. pelham} looked , smiled , bowed , and , as [[his]_{208-mr. pelham} hostess]_{5004-his hostess} had moved on , followed [her]_0-i without a word . The curtain was drawn again either by [him]_{208-mr. pelham} or by [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . But [[her]_0-i mother]_{380-her mother} had settled the question somehow . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} doubted no longer . “_{[208-mr. pelham]} As [I]_0-i told [you]_{208-mr. pelham} last night , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think it ’s [your]_{208-mr. pelham} duty , if there ’s a chance that [you]_{208-mr. pelham} care for [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , to discover what [your]_{208-mr. pelham} feeling is for [her]_{303-cassandra} now . It ’s [your]_{208-mr. pelham} duty to [her]_{303-cassandra} , as well as to [me]_0-i . But [we]_2192-we must tell [[my]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} . [We]_2192-we ca n’t go on pretending . ” “_[2192-we] That is entirely in [your]_0-i hands , of course , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney , with an immediate return to the manner of [a formal man of honor]_{5006-a formal man of honor} . “_[0-i] Very well , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Directly [he]_176-rodney left [her]_{129-katharine} [she]_{129-katharine} would go to [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , and explain that the engagement was at an end — or it might be better that [they]_2192-we should go together ? “_[0-i] But , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney began , nervously attempting to stuff [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s sheets back into [their]_2192-we envelope ; “_{[129-katharine]} if [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — should [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — [you’ve]_0-i asked [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to stay with [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Yes ; but [I]_0-i ’ve not posted the letter . ” [He]_176-rodney crossed [his]_176-rodney knees in a discomfited silence . By all [his]_176-rodney codes it was impossible to ask [a woman with whom [he]_176-rodney had just broken off [his]_176-rodney engagement to help [him]_176-rodney to become acquainted with [another woman]_{5009-another woman} with a view to [his]_176-rodney falling in love with [her]_{5009-another woman}]_{5008-a woman with whom he had just broken off his engagement to help him to become acquainted with another woman with a view to his falling in love with her} . If it was announced that [their]_2192-we engagement was over , a long and complete separation would inevitably follow ; in those circumstances , letters and gifts were returned ; after years of distance [the severed couple]_{5010-the severed couple} met , perhaps at an evening party , and touched hands uncomfortably with an indifferent word or two . [He]_176-rodney would be cast off completely ; [he]_176-rodney would have to trust to [his]_176-rodney own resources . [He]_176-rodney could never mention [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} again ; for months , and doubtless years , [he]_176-rodney would never see [Katharine]_{129-katharine} again ; anything might happen to [her]_{129-katharine} in [his]_176-rodney absence . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was almost as well aware of [his]_176-rodney perplexities as [he]_176-rodney was . [She]_{129-katharine} knew in what direction complete generosity pointed the way ; but pride — for to remain engaged to [Rodney]_176-rodney and to cover [his]_176-rodney experiments hurt what was nobler in [her]_{129-katharine} than mere vanity — fought for its life . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m to give up [my]_0-i freedom for an indefinite time , ” [she]_0-i thought , “_[0-i] in order that [William]_176-rodney may see [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} here at [his]_176-rodney ease . [He]_176-rodney ’s not the courage to manage it without [my]_0-i help — [he]_176-rodney ’s too much of [a coward]_{2194-a coward} to tell [me]_0-i openly what [he]_176-rodney wants . [He]_176-rodney hates the notion of a public breach . [He]_176-rodney wants to keep [us]_2195-us both . ” When [she]_0-i reached this point , [Rodney]_176-rodney pocketed the letter and elaborately looked at [his]_176-rodney watch . Although the action meant that [he]_176-rodney resigned [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , for [he]_176-rodney knew [his]_176-rodney own incompetence and distrusted [himself]_176-rodney entirely , and lost [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , for whom [his]_176-rodney feeling was profound though unsatisfactory , still it appeared to [him]_176-rodney that there was nothing else left for [him]_176-rodney to do . [He]_176-rodney was forced to go , leaving [Katharine]_{129-katharine} free , as [he]_176-rodney had said , to tell [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} that the engagement was at an end . But to do what plain duty required of [an honorable man]_{5012-an honorable man} , cost an effort which only a day or two ago would have been inconceivable to [him]_176-rodney . That a relationship such as [he]_176-rodney had glanced at with desire could be possible between [him]_176-rodney and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [he]_176-rodney would have been the first , two days ago , to deny with indignation . But now [his]_176-rodney life had changed ; [his]_176-rodney attitude had changed ; [his]_176-rodney feelings were different ; new aims and possibilities had been shown [him]_176-rodney , and they had an almost irresistible fascination and force . The training of a life of thirty - five years had not left [him]_176-rodney defenceless ; [he]_176-rodney was still master of [his]_176-rodney dignity ; [he]_176-rodney rose , with a mind made up to an irrevocable farewell . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i leave [you]_2196-your , then , ” [he]_176-rodney said , standing up and holding out [his]_176-rodney hand with an effort that left [him]_176-rodney pale , but lent [him]_176-rodney dignity , “_[0-i] to tell [[your]_2196-your mother]_{3081-your mother} that [our]_2198-our engagement is ended by [your]_2196-your desire . ” [She]_2196-your took [his]_176-rodney hand and held it . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t trust [me]_0-i ? ” [she]_2196-your said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do , absolutely , ” [he]_176-rodney replied . “_[0-i] No . [You]_0-i do n’t trust [me]_0-i to help [you]_2196-your .... [I]_0-i could help [you]_2196-your ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m hopeless without [your]_2196-your help ! ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed passionately , but withdrew [his]_176-rodney hand and turned [his]_176-rodney back . When [he]_176-rodney faced [her]_2196-your , [she]_2196-your thought that [she]_2196-your saw [him]_176-rodney for the first time without disguise . “_[2196-your] It ’s useless to pretend that [I]_0-i do n’t understand what [you]_2196-your ’re offering , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [I]_0-i admit what [you]_2196-your say . Speaking to [you]_2196-your perfectly frankly , [I]_0-i believe at this moment that [I]_0-i do love [[your]_2196-your cousin]_{2199-your cousin} ; there is a chance that , with [your]_2196-your help , [I]_0-i might — but no , ” [he]_2196-your broke off , “_[2196-your] it ’s impossible , it ’s wrong — [I’m]_0-i infinitely to blame for having allowed this situation to arise . ” “_[2196-your] Sit beside [me]_0-i . Let ’s consider sensibly — ” “_[2196-your] [Your]_2196-your sense has been [our]_2200-we undoing — ” [he]_2196-your groaned . “_[2196-your] [I]_0-i accept the responsibility . ” “_[0-i] Ah , but can [I]_0-i allow that ? ” [he]_2196-your exclaimed . “_[0-i] It would mean — for [we]_2200-we must face it , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — that [we]_2200-we let [our]_2200-we engagement stand for the time nominally ; in fact , of course , [your]_2196-your freedom would be absolute . ” “_[2196-your] And [yours]_2196-your too . ” “_[2196-your] Yes , [we]_2200-we should both be free . Let [us]_2200-we say that [I]_0-i saw [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} once , twice , perhaps , under these conditions ; and then if , as [I]_0-i think certain , the whole thing proves a dream , [we]_2200-we tell [[your]_2196-your mother]_{3081-your mother} instantly . Why not tell [her]_{3081-your mother} now , indeed , under pledge of secrecy ? ” “_{[1101-your father]} Why not ? It would be over [London]_2-london in ten minutes , besides , [she]_{3081-your mother} would never even remotely understand . ” “_{[1101-your father]} [[Your]_2196-your father]_{1101-your father} , then ? This secrecy is detestable — it ’s dishonorable . ” “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} would understand even less than [[my]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} . ” “_{[2986-my father]} Ah , who could be expected to understand ? ” [Rodney]_176-rodney groaned ; “_{[2986-my father]} but it ’s from [your]_2196-your point of view that [we]_2200-we must look at it . It ’s not only asking too much , it ’s putting [you]_2196-your into a position — a position in which [I]_0-i could not endure to see [[my]_0-i own sister]_{2205-my own sister} . ” “_[2200-we] [We]_2200-we ’re not [brothers]_{2206-brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters , ” [she]_0-i said impatiently , “_[2200-we] and if [we]_2200-we ca n’t decide , who can ? [I]_0-i ’m not talking nonsense , ” [she]_0-i proceeded . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve done [my]_0-i best to think this out from every point of view , and [I]_0-i ’ve come to the conclusion that there are risks which have to be taken,—though [I]_0-i do n’t deny that they hurt horribly . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} mind ? [You]_{129-katharine} ’ll mind too much . ” “_{[129-katharine]} No [I]_0-i sha n’t , ” [she]_0-i said stoutly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall mind a good deal , but [I]_0-i ’m prepared for that ; [I]_0-i shall get through it , because [you]_{129-katharine} will help [me]_0-i . [You]_{129-katharine} ’ll both help [me]_0-i . In fact , [we]_2200-we ’ll help [each other]_{451-each other} . That ’s a Christian doctrine , is n’t it ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} It sounds more like Paganism to [me]_0-i , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney groaned , as [he]_176-rodney reviewed the situation into which [her]_0-i Christian doctrine was plunging [them]_2200-we . And yet [he]_176-rodney could not deny that a divine relief possessed [him]_176-rodney , and that the future , instead of wearing a lead - colored mask , now blossomed with a thousand varied gaieties and excitements . [He]_176-rodney was actually to see [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} within a week or perhaps less , and [he]_176-rodney was more anxious to know the date of [her]_{303-cassandra} arrival than [he]_176-rodney could own even to [himself]_176-rodney . It seemed base to be so anxious to pluck this fruit of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s unexampled generosity and of [his]_176-rodney own contemptible baseness . And yet , though [he]_176-rodney used these words automatically , they had now no meaning . [He]_176-rodney was not debased in [his]_176-rodney own eyes by what [he]_176-rodney had done , and as for praising [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , were [they]_2200-we not [partners]_{5013-partners} , [conspirators]_{5014-conspirators} , [people bent upon the same quest together]_{5015-people bent upon the same quest together} , so that to praise the pursuit of a common end as an act of generosity was meaningless . [He]_176-rodney took [her]_{129-katharine} hand and pressed it , not in thanks so much as in an ecstasy of comradeship . “_{[129-katharine]} [We]_2209-they will help [each other]_{451-each other} , ” [he]_176-rodney said , repeating [her]_{129-katharine} words , seeking [her]_{129-katharine} eyes in an enthusiasm of friendship . [Her]_{129-katharine} eyes were grave but dark with sadness as they rested on [him]_176-rodney . “_[2211-he] [He]_2211-he ’s already gone , ” [she]_{129-katharine} thought , “_[2211-he] far away — [he]_2211-he thinks of [me]_0-i no more . ” And the fancy came to [her]_{129-katharine} that , as [they]_2209-they sat side by side , hand in hand , [she]_{129-katharine} could hear the earth pouring from above to make a barrier between [them]_2209-they , so that , as [they]_2209-they sat , [they]_2209-they were separated second by second by an impenetrable wall . The process , which affected [her]_{129-katharine} as that of being sealed away and for ever from all companionship with [the person [she]_{129-katharine} cared for most]_{5016-the person she cared for most} , came to an end at last , and by common consent [they]_2209-they unclasped [their]_2209-they fingers , [Rodney]_176-rodney touching [hers]_{129-katharine} with [his]_176-rodney lips , as the curtain parted , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} peered through the opening with [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} benevolent and sarcastic expression to ask whether [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could remember was it Tuesday or Wednesday , and did [she]_{129-katharine} dine in [Westminster]_{18-westminster} ? “_[2211-he] Dearest [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , pausing , as if [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} could not resist the pleasure of encroaching for a second upon this wonderful world of love and confidence and romance . “_[176-rodney] [Dearest children]_{2212-dearest children} , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} added , disappearing with an impulsive gesture , as if [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} forced [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} to draw the curtain upon a scene which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} refused all temptation to interrupt . At a quarter - past three in the afternoon of the following Saturday [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph sat on [the bank of [the lake]_{5018-the lake} in [Kew Gardens]_{87-kew gardens}]_{5017-the bank of the lake in kew gardens} , dividing the dial - plate of [his]_154-ralph watch into sections with [his]_154-ralph forefinger . The just and inexorable nature of time itself was reflected in [his]_154-ralph face . [He]_154-ralph might have been composing a hymn to the unhasting and unresting march of that divinity . [He]_154-ralph seemed to greet the lapse of minute after minute with stern acquiescence in the inevitable order . [His]_154-ralph expression was so severe , so serene , so immobile , that it seemed obvious that for [him]_154-ralph at least there was a grandeur in the departing hour which no petty irritation on [his]_154-ralph part was to mar , although the wasting time wasted also high private hopes of [his]_154-ralph own . [His]_154-ralph face was no bad index to what went on within [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph was in a condition of mind rather too exalted for the trivialities of daily life . [He]_154-ralph could not accept the fact that [a lady]_{4354-a lady} was fifteen minutes late in keeping [her]_{4354-a lady} appointment without seeing in that accident the frustration of [his]_154-ralph entire life . Looking at [his]_154-ralph watch , [he]_154-ralph seemed to look deep into the springs of human existence , and by the light of what [he]_154-ralph saw there altered [his]_154-ralph course towards [the north]_{3953-the north} and the midnight .... Yes , one ’s voyage must be made absolutely without [companions]_{5021-companions} through ice and [black water]_{5022-black water} — towards what goal ? Here [he]_154-ralph laid [his]_154-ralph finger upon the half - hour , and decided that when the minute - hand reached that point [he]_154-ralph would go , at the same time answering the question put by another of the many voices of consciousness with the reply that there was undoubtedly a goal , but that it would need the most relentless energy to keep anywhere in its direction . Still , still , one goes on , the ticking seconds seemed to assure [him]_154-ralph , with dignity , with open eyes , with determination not to accept the second - rate , not to be tempted by the unworthy , not to yield , not to compromise . Twenty - five minutes past three were now marked upon the face of the watch . [The world]_{478-the world} , [he]_154-ralph assured [himself]_154-ralph , since [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} was now half an hour behind [her]_{129-katharine} time , offers no happiness , no rest from struggle , no certainty . In a scheme of things utterly bad from the start the only unpardonable folly is that of hope . Raising [his]_154-ralph eyes for a moment from the face of [his]_154-ralph watch , [he]_154-ralph rested them upon the opposite bank , reflectively and not without a certain wistfulness , as if the sternness of [their]_5024-their gaze were still capable of mitigation . Soon a look of the deepest satisfaction filled [them]_5024-their , though , for a moment , [he]_154-ralph did not move . [He]_154-ralph watched [a lady who came rapidly , and yet with a trace of hesitation]_{5025-a lady who came rapidly , and yet with a trace of hesitation} , down the broad grass - walk towards [him]_154-ralph . [She]_2213-her did not see [him]_154-ralph . Distance lent [her]_2213-her figure an indescribable height , and romance seemed to surround [her]_2213-her from the floating of a purple veil which the light air filled and curved from [her]_2213-her shoulders . “_{[2212-dearest children]} Here [she]_2213-her comes , like [a ship in full sail]_{2214-a ship in full sail} , ” [he]_154-ralph said to [himself]_154-ralph , half remembering some line from a play or poem where [the heroine bore down thus with feathers flying and airs]_{5026-the heroine bore down thus with feathers flying and airs} saluting [her]_2213-her . The greenery and the high presences of the trees surrounded [her]_2213-her as if they stood forth at [her]_2213-her coming . [He]_154-ralph rose , and [she]_2213-her saw [him]_154-ralph ; [her]_2213-her little exclamation proved that [she]_2213-her was glad to find [him]_154-ralph , and then that [she]_2213-her blamed [herself]_2213-her for being late . “_[2213-her] Why did [you]_2215-you never tell [me]_0-i ? [I]_0-i did n’t know there was this , ” [she]_2213-her remarked , alluding to [the lake]_{5018-the lake} , [the broad green space]_{5028-the broad green space} , the vista of trees , with the ruffled gold of [the Thames]_{88-the thames} in the distance and [the Ducal castle]_{5029-the ducal castle} standing in [[its]_{5029-the ducal castle} meadows]_{5030-its meadows} . [She]_2213-her paid the rigid tail of the Ducal lion the tribute of incredulous laughter . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ve never been to [Kew]_330-kew ? ” [Denham]_154-ralph remarked . But it appeared that [she]_2213-her had come once as [a small child]_{5031-a small child} , when the geography of [the place]_{4672-the place} was entirely different , and the fauna included certainly flamingoes and , possibly , camels . [They]_5033-them strolled on , refashioning [these legendary gardens]_{5034-these legendary gardens} . [She]_2213-her was , as [he]_154-ralph felt , glad merely to stroll and loiter and let [her]_2213-her fancy touch upon anything [her]_2213-her eyes encountered — a bush , [a park - keeper]_{5035-a park - keeper} , a decorated goose — as if the relaxation soothed [her]_2213-her . The warmth of the afternoon , the first of spring , tempted [them]_5033-them to sit upon a seat in a glade of beech - trees , with forest drives striking green paths this way and that around [them]_5033-them . [She]_2213-her sighed deeply . “_[0-i] It ’s so peaceful , ” [she]_2213-her said , as if in explanation of [her]_2213-her sigh . Not [a single person]_{5036-a single person} was in sight , and the stir of the wind in the branches , that sound so seldom heard by [Londoners]_{5037-londoners} , seemed to [her]_2213-her as if wafted from fathomless oceans of sweet air in the distance . While [she]_2213-her breathed and looked , [Denham]_154-ralph was engaged in uncovering with the point of [his]_154-ralph stick a group of green spikes half smothered by the dead leaves . [He]_154-ralph did this with the peculiar touch of [the botanist]_{5038-the botanist} . In naming the little green plant to [her]_2213-her [he]_154-ralph used the Latin name , thus disguising some flower familiar even to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea , and making [her]_2213-her exclaim , half in amusement , at [his]_154-ralph knowledge . [Her]_2213-her own ignorance was vast , [she]_2213-her confessed . What did one call that tree opposite , for instance , supposing one condescended to call [it]_5039-it by [its]_5039-it English name ? Beech or elm or sycamore ? It chanced , by the testimony of a dead leaf , to be oak ; and a little attention to a diagram which [Denham]_154-ralph proceeded to draw upon an envelope soon put [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in possession of some of the fundamental distinctions between [our]_5040-our British trees . [She]_2213-her then asked [him]_154-ralph to inform [her]_2213-her about flowers . To [her]_2213-her they were variously shaped and colored petals , poised , at different seasons of the year , upon very similar green stalks ; but to [him]_154-ralph they were , in the first instance , bulbs or seeds , and later , living things endowed with sex , and pores , and susceptibilities which adapted themselves by all manner of ingenious devices to live and beget life , and could be fashioned squat or tapering , flame - colored or pale , pure or spotted , by processes which might reveal the secrets of human existence . [Denham]_154-ralph spoke with increasing ardor of a hobby which had long been [his]_154-ralph in secret . No discourse could have worn a more welcome sound in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s ears . For weeks [she]_2213-her had heard nothing that made such pleasant music in [her]_2213-her mind . It wakened echoes in all those remote fastnesses of [her]_2213-her being where loneliness had brooded so long undisturbed . [She]_2213-her wished [he]_154-ralph would go on for ever talking of plants , and showing [her]_2213-her how science felt not quite blindly for the law that ruled their endless variations . A law that might be inscrutable but was certainly omnipotent appealed to [her]_2213-her at the moment , because [she]_2213-her could find nothing like it in possession of human lives . Circumstances had long forced [her]_2213-her , as they force [most women in the flower of youth]_{5041-most women in the flower of youth} , to consider , painfully and minutely , all that part of life which is conspicuously without order ; [she]_2213-her had had to consider moods and wishes , degrees of liking or disliking , and their effect upon the destiny of people dear to [her]_2213-her ; [she]_2213-her had been forced to deny [herself]_2213-her any contemplation of that other part of life where thought constructs a destiny which is independent of [human beings]_{923-human beings} . As [Denham]_154-ralph spoke , [she]_2213-her followed [his]_154-ralph words and considered their bearing with an easy vigor which spoke of a capacity long hoarded and unspent . The very trees and the green merging into the blue distance became symbols of the vast external world which recks so little of the happiness , of the marriages or deaths of [individuals]_{4210-individuals} . In order to give [her]_2213-her examples of what [he]_154-ralph was saying , [Denham]_154-ralph led the way , first to [the Rock Garden]_{5044-the rock garden} , and then to [the Orchid House]_{5045-the orchid house} . For [him]_154-ralph there was safety in the direction which the talk had taken . [His]_154-ralph emphasis might come from feelings more personal than those science roused in [him]_154-ralph , but it was disguised , and naturally [he]_154-ralph found it easy to expound and explain . Nevertheless , when [he]_154-ralph saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} among the orchids , [her]_{129-katharine} beauty strangely emphasized by the fantastic plants , which seemed to peer and gape at [her]_{129-katharine} from striped hoods and fleshy throats , [his]_154-ralph ardor for botany waned , and a more complex feeling replaced it . [She]_{129-katharine} fell silent . The orchids seemed to suggest absorbing reflections . In defiance of the rules [she]_{129-katharine} stretched [her]_{129-katharine} ungloved hand and touched one . The sight of the rubies upon [her]_{129-katharine} finger affected [him]_154-ralph so disagreeably that [he]_154-ralph started and turned away . But next moment [he]_154-ralph controlled [himself]_154-ralph ; [he]_154-ralph looked at [her]_{129-katharine} taking in one strange shape after another with the contemplative , considering gaze of [a person who sees not exactly what is before [him]_154-ralph]_{5046-a person who sees not exactly what is before him} , but gropes in [regions that lie beyond it]_{5047-regions that lie beyond it} . The far - away look entirely lacked self - consciousness . [Denham]_154-ralph doubted whether [she]_{129-katharine} remembered [his]_154-ralph presence . [He]_154-ralph could recall [himself]_154-ralph , of course , by a word or a movement — but why ? [She]_{129-katharine} was happier thus . [She]_{129-katharine} needed nothing that [he]_154-ralph could give [her]_{129-katharine} . And for [him]_154-ralph , too , perhaps , it was best to keep aloof , only to know that [she]_{129-katharine} existed , to preserve what [he]_154-ralph already had — perfect , remote , and unbroken . Further , [her]_{129-katharine} still look , standing among the orchids in that hot atmosphere , strangely illustrated some scene that [he]_154-ralph had imagined in [[his]_154-ralph room]_{521-his room} at [home]_2992-home . The sight , mingling with [his]_154-ralph recollection , kept [him]_154-ralph silent when the door was shut and [they]_5050-they were walking on again . But though [she]_{129-katharine} did not speak , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had an uneasy sense that silence on [her]_{129-katharine} part was selfishness . It was selfish of [her]_{129-katharine} to continue , as [she]_{129-katharine} wished to do , a discussion of subjects not remotely connected with [any human beings]_{5051-any human beings} . [She]_{129-katharine} roused [herself]_{129-katharine} to consider [their]_5050-they exact position upon the turbulent map of the emotions . Oh yes — it was a question whether [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph should live in [the country]_{761-the country} and write a book ; it was getting late ; [they]_5050-they must waste no more time ; [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} arrived to - night for dinner ; [she]_{129-katharine} flinched and roused [herself]_{129-katharine} , and discovered that [she]_{129-katharine} ought to be holding something in [her]_{129-katharine} hands . But they were empty . [She]_{129-katharine} held them out with an exclamation . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve left [my]_0-i bag somewhere — where ? ” [The gardens]_{5053-the gardens} had no points of the compass , so far as [she]_{129-katharine} was concerned . [She]_{129-katharine} had been walking for the most part on grass — that was all [she]_{129-katharine} knew . Even [the road]_{941-the road} to [the Orchid House]_{5045-the orchid house} had now split itself into three . But there was no bag in [the Orchid House]_{5045-the orchid house} . It must , therefore , have been left upon the seat . [They]_5050-they retraced [their]_5050-they steps in the preoccupied manner of [people who have to think about something that is lost]_{5057-people who have to think about something that is lost} . What did this bag look like ? What did it contain ? “_[0-i] A purse — a ticket — some letters , papers , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} counted , becoming more agitated as [she]_{129-katharine} recalled the list . [Denham]_154-ralph went on quickly in advance of [her]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} heard [him]_154-ralph shout that [he]_154-ralph had found it before [she]_{129-katharine} reached the seat . In order to make sure that all was safe [she]_{129-katharine} spread the contents on [her]_{129-katharine} knee . It was a queer collection , [Denham]_154-ralph thought , gazing with the deepest interest . Loose gold coins were tangled in a narrow strip of lace ; there were letters which somehow suggested the extreme of intimacy ; there were two or three keys , and lists of commissions against which crosses were set at intervals . But [she]_{129-katharine} did not seem satisfied until [she]_{129-katharine} had made sure of a certain paper so folded that [Denham]_154-ralph could not judge what it contained . In [her]_{129-katharine} relief and gratitude [she]_{129-katharine} began at once to say that [she]_{129-katharine} had been thinking over what [Denham]_154-ralph had told [her]_{129-katharine} of [his]_154-ralph plans . [He]_154-ralph cut [her]_{129-katharine} short . “_[0-i] Do n’t let [’s]_2216-’s discuss that dreary business . ” “_[2216-’s] But [I]_0-i thought — ” “_[0-i] It ’s a dreary business . [I]_0-i ought never to have bothered [you]_0-i — ” “_[0-i] Have [you]_0-i decided , then ? ” [He]_154-ralph made an impatient sound . “_[0-i] It ’s not a thing that matters . ” [She]_{129-katharine} could only say rather flatly , “_[0-i] Oh ! ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean it matters to [me]_0-i , but it matters to [no one else]_{2217-no one else} . Anyhow , ” [he]_154-ralph continued , more amiably , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see no reason why [you]_0-i should be bothered with [other people]_{2964-other people} ’s nuisances . ” [She]_{129-katharine} supposed that [she]_{129-katharine} had let [him]_154-ralph see too clearly [her]_{129-katharine} weariness of this side of life . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m afraid [I]_0-i ’ve been absent - minded , ” [she]_0-i began , remembering how often [William]_176-rodney had brought this charge against [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i have a good deal to make [you]_0-i absent - minded , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] Yes , ” [she]_0-i replied , flushing . “_[0-i] No , ” [she]_0-i contradicted [herself]_0-i . “_[0-i] Nothing particular , [I]_0-i mean . But [I]_0-i was thinking about plants . [I]_0-i was enjoying [myself]_0-i . In fact , [I]_0-i ’ve seldom enjoyed an afternoon more . But [I]_0-i want to hear what [you]_0-i ’ve settled , if [you]_0-i do n’t mind telling [me]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Oh , it ’s all settled , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m going to [this infernal cottage]_{2219-this infernal cottage} to write a worthless book . ” “_[0-i] How [I]_0-i envy [you]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i replied , with the utmost sincerity . “_[0-i] Well , [cottages]_{2220-cottages} are to be had for fifteen shillings a week . ” “_[0-i] [Cottages]_{2220-cottages} are to be had — yes , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[0-i] The question is — ” [She]_0-i checked [herself]_0-i . “_[0-i] [Two rooms]_{2222-two rooms} are all [I]_0-i should want , ” [she]_0-i continued , with a curious sigh ; “_[0-i] one for eating , one for sleeping . Oh , but [I]_0-i should like another , a large one at the top , and [a little garden where one could grow flowers]_{2223-a little garden where one could grow flowers} . [A path]_{2224-a path} — so — down to [a river]_{2225-a river} , or up to a wood , and [the sea not very far off]_{2226-the sea not very far off} , so that [one]_422-one could hear the waves at night . [Ships]_1197-ships just vanishing on the horizon — ” [She]_0-i broke off . “_[1197-ships] Shall [you]_0-i be near [the sea]_{829-the sea} ? ” “_[0-i] [My]_0-i notion of perfect happiness , ” [he]_5058-he began , not replying to [her]_0-i question , “_[0-i] is to live as [you]_0-i ’ve said . ” “_[0-i] Well , now [you]_0-i can . [You]_0-i will work , [I]_0-i suppose , ” [she]_0-i continued ; “_[0-i] [you]_0-i ’ll work all the morning and again after tea and perhaps at night . [You]_0-i wo n’t have [people]_383-people always coming about [you]_0-i to interrupt . ” “_[383-people] How far can [one]_422-one live alone ? ” [he]_{2986-my father} asked . “_[383-people] Have [you]_0-i tried ever ? ” “_[0-i] Once for three weeks , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i father]_{2986-my father} and [mother]_2916-mother were in [Italy]_13-italy , and something happened so that [I]_0-i could n’t join [them]_2234-them . For three weeks [I]_0-i lived entirely by [myself]_0-i , and [the only person]_{2235-the only person} [I]_0-i spoke to was [a stranger in [a shop where [I]_0-i lunched]_{2237-a shop where i lunched} — [a man with a beard]_{2238-a man with a beard} . Then [I]_0-i went back to [[my]_0-i room]_{3618-my room}]_{2236-a stranger in a shop where i lunched — a man with a beard . then i went back to my room} by [myself]_0-i and — well , [I]_0-i did what [I]_0-i liked . It does n’t make [me]_0-i out an amiable character , [I]_0-i ’m afraid , ” [she]_0-i added , “_[0-i] but [I]_0-i ca n’t endure living with [other people]_{2964-other people} . [An occasional man with a beard]_{2241-an occasional man with a beard} is interesting ; [he]_{2241-an occasional man with a beard} ’s detached ; [he]_{2241-an occasional man with a beard} lets [me]_0-i go [my]_0-i way , and [we]_2242-we know [we]_2242-we shall never meet again . Therefore , [we]_2242-we are perfectly sincere — a thing not possible with [[one]_422-one ’s friends]_{2244-one ’s friends} . ” “_[0-i] Nonsense , ” [Denham]_154-ralph replied abruptly . “_[0-i] Why ‘ nonsense ’ ? ” [she]_0-i inquired . “_[0-i] Because [you]_0-i do n’t mean what [you]_0-i say , ” [he]_154-ralph expostulated . “_[0-i] [You]_2245-you ’re very positive , ” [she]_0-i said , laughing and looking at [him]_154-ralph . How arbitrary , hot - tempered , and imperious [he]_154-ralph was ! [He]_154-ralph had asked [her]_0-i to come to [Kew]_330-kew to advise [him]_154-ralph ; [he]_154-ralph then told [her]_0-i that [he]_154-ralph had settled the question already ; [he]_154-ralph then proceeded to find fault with [her]_0-i . [He]_154-ralph was the very opposite of [William Rodney]_176-rodney , [she]_0-i thought ; [he]_154-ralph was shabby , [his]_154-ralph clothes were badly made , [he]_154-ralph was ill versed in the amenities of life ; [he]_154-ralph was tongue - tied and awkward to the verge of obliterating [his]_154-ralph real character . [He]_154-ralph was awkwardly silent ; [he]_154-ralph was awkwardly emphatic . And yet [she]_0-i liked [him]_154-ralph . “_[2245-you] [I]_0-i do n’t mean what [I]_0-i say , ” [she]_0-i repeated good - humoredly . “_[0-i] Well — ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i doubt whether [you]_0-i make absolute sincerity [your]_0-i standard in life , ” [he]_154-ralph answered significantly . [She]_0-i flushed . [He]_154-ralph had penetrated at once to the weak spot — [her]_0-i engagement , and had reason for what [he]_154-ralph said . [He]_154-ralph was not altogether justified now , at any rate , [she]_0-i was glad to remember ; but [she]_0-i could not enlighten [him]_154-ralph and must bear [his]_154-ralph insinuations , though from the lips of [a man who had behaved as [he]_154-ralph had behaved [their]_5060-their force]_{5059-a man who had behaved as he had behaved their force} should not have been sharp . Nevertheless , what [he]_154-ralph said had its force , [she]_0-i mused ; partly because [he]_154-ralph seemed unconscious of [his]_154-ralph own lapse in the case of [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , and thus baffled [her]_0-i insight ; partly because [he]_154-ralph always spoke with force , for what reason [she]_0-i did not yet feel certain . “_[0-i] Absolute sincerity is rather difficult , do n’t [you]_2246-you think ? ” [she]_0-i inquired , with a touch of irony . “_[2246-you] There are [people one credits even with that]_{2247-people one credits even with that} , ” [he]_154-ralph replied a little vaguely . [He]_154-ralph was ashamed of [his]_154-ralph savage wish to hurt [her]_0-i , and yet it was not for the sake of hurting [her]_0-i , who was beyond [his]_154-ralph shafts , but in order to mortify [his]_154-ralph own incredibly reckless impulse of abandonment to the spirit which seemed , at moments , about to rush [him]_154-ralph to the uttermost ends of [the earth]_{2936-the earth} . [She]_0-i affected [him]_154-ralph beyond the scope of [his]_154-ralph wildest dreams . [He]_154-ralph seemed to see that beneath the quiet surface of [her]_0-i manner , which was almost pathetically at hand and within reach for all the trivial demands of daily life , there was a spirit which [she]_0-i reserved or repressed for some reason either of loneliness or — could it be possible — of love . Was it given to [Rodney]_176-rodney to see [her]_0-i unmasked , unrestrained , unconscious of [her]_0-i duties ? a creature of uncalculating passion and instinctive freedom ? No ; [he]_154-ralph refused to believe it . It was in [her]_0-i loneliness that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was unreserved . “_{[2247-people one credits even with that]} [I]_0-i went back to [[my]_0-i room]_{3618-my room} by [myself]_0-i and [I]_0-i did — what [I]_0-i liked . ” [She]_0-i had said that to [him]_154-ralph , and in saying it had given [him]_154-ralph a glimpse of possibilities , even of confidences , as if [he]_154-ralph might be the one to share [her]_0-i loneliness , the mere hint of which made [his]_154-ralph heart beat faster and [his]_154-ralph brain spin . [He]_154-ralph checked [himself]_154-ralph as brutally as [he]_154-ralph could . [He]_154-ralph saw [her]_0-i redden , and in the irony of [her]_0-i reply [he]_154-ralph heard [her]_0-i resentment . [He]_154-ralph began slipping [his]_154-ralph smooth , silver watch in [his]_154-ralph pocket , in the hope that somehow [he]_154-ralph might help [himself]_154-ralph back to that calm and fatalistic mood which had been [his]_154-ralph when [he]_154-ralph looked at [its]_5062-its face upon [the bank of [the lake]_{5018-the lake}]_{5063-the bank of the lake} , for that mood must , at whatever cost , be the mood of [his]_154-ralph intercourse with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [He]_154-ralph had spoken of gratitude and acquiescence in the letter which [he]_154-ralph had never sent , and now all the force of [his]_154-ralph character must make good those vows in [her]_{129-katharine} presence . [She]_{129-katharine} , thus challenged , tried meanwhile to define [her]_{129-katharine} points . [She]_{129-katharine} wished to make [Denham]_154-ralph understand . “_[0-i] Do n’t [you]_2249-you see that if [you]_2249-you have no relations with [people]_383-people it ’s easier to be honest with [them]_383-people ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} inquired . “_[2249-you] That is what [I]_0-i meant . [One]_422-one need n’t cajole [them]_383-people ; [one]_422-one ’s under no obligation to [them]_383-people . Surely [you]_2249-you must have found with [[your]_2249-you own family]_{2253-your own family} that it ’s impossible to discuss what matters to [you]_2249-you most because [you]_2249-you ’re all herded together , because [you]_2249-you ’re in a conspiracy , because the position is false — ” [Her]_{129-katharine} reasoning suspended itself a little inconclusively , for the subject was complex , and [she]_{129-katharine} found [herself]_{129-katharine} in ignorance whether [Denham]_154-ralph had [a family]_{569-a family} or not . [Denham]_154-ralph was agreed with [her]_{129-katharine} as to the destructiveness of the family system , but [he]_154-ralph did not wish to discuss the problem at that moment . [He]_154-ralph turned to a problem which was of greater interest to [him]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m convinced , ” [he]_154-ralph said , “_[0-i] that there are cases in which perfect sincerity is possible — cases where there ’s no relationship , though [the people]_{3250-the people} live together , if [you]_2249-you like , where each is free , where there ’s no obligation upon either side . ” “_[0-i] For a time perhaps , ” [she]_{129-katharine} agreed , a little despondently . “_[0-i] But obligations always grow up . There are feelings to be considered . [People]_383-people are n’t simple , and though [they]_383-people may mean to be reasonable , [they]_383-people end”—in the condition in which [she]_{129-katharine} found [herself]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{129-katharine} meant , but added lamely—“in_[0-i] a muddle . ” “_[383-people] Because , ” [Denham]_154-ralph instantly intervened , “_[383-people] [they]_383-people do n’t make [themselves]_383-people understood at the beginning . [I]_0-i could undertake , at this instant , ” [he]_154-ralph continued , with a reasonable intonation which did much credit to [his]_154-ralph self - control , “_[0-i] to lay down terms for a friendship which should be perfectly sincere and perfectly straightforward . ” [She]_{129-katharine} was curious to hear [them]_383-people , but , besides feeling that the topic concealed dangers better known to [her]_{129-katharine} than to [him]_154-ralph , [she]_{129-katharine} was reminded by [his]_154-ralph tone of [his]_154-ralph curious abstract declaration upon [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} . Anything that hinted at love for the moment alarmed [her]_{129-katharine} ; it was as much an infliction to [her]_{129-katharine} as the rubbing of a skinless wound . But [he]_154-ralph went on , without waiting for [her]_{129-katharine} invitation . “_[0-i] In the first place , such a friendship must be unemotional , ” [he]_154-ralph laid it down emphatically . “_[0-i] At least , on both sides it must be understood that if either chooses to fall in love , [he]_2256-he or [she]_2257-she does so entirely at [his]_2258-his own risk . Neither is under any obligation to [the other]_{1230-the other} . [They]_2260-they must be at liberty to break or to alter at any moment . [They]_2260-they must be able to say whatever [they]_2260-they wish to say . All this must be understood . ” “_[2260-they] And [they]_2260-they gain something worth having ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[2260-they] It ’s a risk — of course it ’s a risk , ” [he]_154-ralph replied . The word was one that [she]_{129-katharine} had been using frequently in [her]_{129-katharine} arguments with [herself]_{129-katharine} of late . “_[2260-they] But it ’s the only way — if [you]_2261-you think friendship worth having , ” [he]_154-ralph concluded . “_[2261-you] Perhaps under those conditions it might be , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said reflectively . “_[2261-you] Well , ” [he]_154-ralph said , “_[2261-you] those are the terms of the friendship [I]_0-i wish to offer [you]_2261-you . ” [She]_{129-katharine} had known that this was coming , but , none the less , felt a little shock , half of pleasure , half of reluctance , when [she]_{129-katharine} heard the formal statement . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should like it , ” [she]_{129-katharine} began , “_[0-i] but — ” “_[176-rodney] Would [Rodney]_176-rodney mind ? ” “_[176-rodney] Oh no , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied quickly . “_[176-rodney] No , no , it is n’t that , ” [she]_{129-katharine} went on , and again came to an end . [She]_{129-katharine} had been touched by the unreserved and yet ceremonious way in which [he]_154-ralph had made what [he]_154-ralph called [his]_154-ralph offer of terms , but if [he]_154-ralph was generous it was the more necessary for [her]_{129-katharine} to be cautious . [They]_5067-they would find [themselves]_5067-they in difficulties , [she]_{129-katharine} speculated ; but , at this point , which was not very far , after all , upon the road of caution , [her]_{129-katharine} foresight deserted [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} sought for some definite catastrophe into which [they]_5067-they must inevitably plunge . But [she]_{129-katharine} could think of none . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that these catastrophes were fictitious ; life went on and on — life was different altogether from what [people]_383-people said . And not only was [she]_{129-katharine} at an end of [her]_{129-katharine} stock of caution , but it seemed suddenly altogether superfluous . Surely if [any one]_{2939-any one} could take care of [himself]_{2939-any one} , [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph could ; [he]_154-ralph had told [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_154-ralph did not love [her]_{129-katharine} . And , further , [she]_{129-katharine} meditated , walking on beneath the beech - trees and swinging [her]_{129-katharine} umbrella , as in [her]_{129-katharine} thought [she]_{129-katharine} was accustomed to complete freedom , why should [she]_{129-katharine} perpetually apply so different a standard to [her]_{129-katharine} behavior in practice ? Why , [she]_{129-katharine} reflected , should there be this perpetual disparity between the thought and the action , between the life of solitude and the life of [society]_5070-society , this astonishing precipice on one side of which the soul was active and in broad daylight , on the other side of which it was contemplative and dark as night ? Was it not possible to step from one to the other , erect , and without essential change ? Was this not the chance [he]_154-ralph offered [her]_{129-katharine} — the rare and wonderful chance of friendship ? At any rate , [she]_{129-katharine} told [Denham]_154-ralph , with a sigh in which [he]_154-ralph heard both impatience and relief , that [she]_{129-katharine} agreed ; [she]_{129-katharine} thought [him]_154-ralph right ; [she]_{129-katharine} would accept [his]_154-ralph terms of friendship . “_[176-rodney] Now , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , “_[176-rodney] let ’s go and have tea . ” In fact , these principles having been laid down , a great lightness of spirit showed itself in both of [them]_5071-them . [They]_5071-them were both convinced that something of profound importance had been settled , and could now give [their]_5071-them attention to [their]_5071-them tea and [the Gardens]_{5053-the gardens} . [They]_5071-them wandered in and out of [glass - houses]_{5073-glass - houses} , saw lilies swimming in tanks , breathed in the scent of thousands of carnations , and compared [their]_5071-them respective tastes in the matter of trees and [lakes]_5074-lakes . While talking exclusively of what [they]_5071-them saw , so that [any one]_{2939-any one} might have overheard [them]_5071-them , [they]_5071-them felt that the compact between [them]_5071-them was made firmer and deeper by the number of people who passed [them]_5071-them and suspected nothing of the kind . The question of [[Ralph]_154-ralph ’s cottage]_{5076-ralph ’s cottage} and future was not mentioned again . Although [the old coaches]_{5077-the old coaches} , with [their]_{5077-the old coaches} gay panels and [the guard]_{5078-the guard} ’s horn , and the humors of the box and the vicissitudes of [the road]_{941-the road} , have long moldered into dust so far as they were matter , and are preserved in the printed pages of [[our]_5080-our novelists]_{5081-our novelists} so far as [they]_{5081-our novelists} partook of the spirit , a journey to [London]_2-london by [express train]_{5082-express train} can still be a very pleasant and romantic adventure . [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} , at the age of twenty - two , could imagine few things more pleasant . Satiated with months of [green fields]_{5083-green fields} as [she]_{303-cassandra} was , [the first row of [artisans]_{5085-artisans} ’ villas]_{5084-the first row of artisans ’ villas} on [the outskirts of [London]_2-london]_{5086-the outskirts of london} seemed to have something serious about it , which positively increased the importance of [every person in [the railway carriage]_{3926-the railway carriage}]_{5087-every person in the railway carriage} , and even , to [her]_{303-cassandra} impressionable mind , quickened the speed of [the train]_{510-the train} and gave a note of stern authority to the shriek of the engine - whistle . [They]_{510-the train} were bound for [London]_2-london ; [they]_{510-the train} must have precedence of all traffic not similarly destined . A different demeanor was necessary directly one stepped out upon [[Liverpool Street]_{90-liverpool street} platform]_{5090-liverpool street platform} , and became one of [those preoccupied and hasty citizens for whose needs innumerable]_{5091-those preoccupied and hasty citizens for whose needs innumerable} [taxi - cabs]_{5092-taxi - cabs} , [motor - omnibuses]_{5093-motor - omnibuses} , and [underground railways]_{5094-underground railways} were in waiting . [She]_{303-cassandra} did [her]_{303-cassandra} best to look dignified and preoccupied too , but as [the cab]_{971-the cab} carried [her]_{303-cassandra} away , with a determination which alarmed [her]_{303-cassandra} a little , [she]_{303-cassandra} became more and more forgetful of [[her]_{303-cassandra} station]_{5096-her station} as [a citizen of [London]_2-london]_{5097-a citizen of london} , and turned [her]_{303-cassandra} head from one window to another , picking up eagerly [a building on this side]_{5098-a building on this side} or a street scene on that to feed [her]_{303-cassandra} intense curiosity . And yet , while the drive lasted [no one]_{2921-no one} was real , nothing was ordinary ; [the crowds]_{5100-the crowds} , [the Government buildings]_{5101-the government buildings} , the tide of [men]_719-men and [women washing the base of the great glass windows]_{5103-women washing the base of the great glass windows} , were all generalized , and affected [her]_{303-cassandra} as if [she]_{303-cassandra} saw [them]_{5100-the crowds} on the stage . All these feelings were sustained and partly inspired by the fact that [her]_{303-cassandra} journey took [her]_{303-cassandra} straight to the center of [[her]_{303-cassandra} most romantic world]_{5104-her most romantic world} . A thousand times in the midst of [her]_{303-cassandra} pastoral landscape [her]_{303-cassandra} thoughts took this precise road , were admitted to [the house in [Chelsea]_10-chelsea]_{5105-the house in chelsea} , and went directly [upstairs]_523-upstairs to [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s room]_{5107-katharine ’s room} , where , invisible [themselves]_{5100-the crowds} , [they]_{5100-the crowds} had the better chance of feasting upon the privacy of [[the room]_{379-the room} ’s adorable and mysterious mistress]_{5109-the room ’s adorable and mysterious mistress} . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} adored [[her]_{303-cassandra} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} ; the adoration might have been foolish , but was saved from that excess and lent an engaging charm by the volatile nature of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s temperament . [She]_{303-cassandra} had adored a great many things and [people]_383-people in the course of twenty - two years ; [she]_{303-cassandra} had been alternately the pride and the desperation of [[her]_{303-cassandra} teachers]_{5112-her teachers} . [She]_{303-cassandra} had worshipped architecture and music , natural history and humanity , literature and art , but always at the height of [her]_{303-cassandra} enthusiasm , which was accompanied by a brilliant degree of accomplishment , [she]_{303-cassandra} changed [her]_{303-cassandra} mind and bought , surreptitiously , another grammar . The terrible results which [governesses]_{5113-governesses} had predicted from such mental dissipation were certainly apparent now that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was twenty - two , and had never passed an examination , and daily showed [herself]_{303-cassandra} less and less capable of passing one . The more serious prediction that [she]_{303-cassandra} could never possibly earn [her]_{303-cassandra} living was also verified . But from all these short strands of different accomplishments [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} wove for [herself]_{303-cassandra} an attitude , a cast of mind , which , if useless , was found by [some people to have the not despicable virtues of vivacity and freshness]_{5114-some people to have the not despicable virtues of vivacity and freshness} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , for example , thought [her]_{303-cassandra} [a most charming companion]_{5115-a most charming companion} . [The cousins]_{669-the cousins} seemed to assemble between [them]_{669-the cousins} a great range of qualities which are never found united in [one person and seldom in half a dozen people]_{5117-one person and seldom in half a dozen people} . Where [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was simple , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was complex ; where [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was solid and direct , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was vague and evasive . In short , [they]_{669-the cousins} represented very well the manly and the womanly sides of the feminine nature , and , for foundation , there was the profound unity of common blood between [them]_{669-the cousins} . If [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} adored [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [she]_{303-cassandra} was incapable of adoring any one without refreshing [her]_{303-cassandra} spirit with frequent draughts of raillery and criticism , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} enjoyed [her]_{303-cassandra} laughter at least as much as [her]_{303-cassandra} respect . Respect was certainly uppermost in [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s mind at the present moment . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s engagement had appealed to [her]_{129-katharine} imagination as the first engagement in [a circle of [contemporaries]_{5119-contemporaries}]_{5118-a circle of contemporaries} is apt to appeal to the imaginations of [the others]_{1091-the others} ; it was solemn , beautiful , and mysterious ; it gave [both parties]_{5121-both parties} the important air of [those who have been initiated into some rite which is still concealed from the rest of the group]_{5122-those who have been initiated into some rite which is still concealed from the rest of the group} . For [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s sake [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} thought [William]_176-rodney [a most distinguished and interesting character]_{5123-a most distinguished and interesting character} , and welcomed first [his]_176-rodney conversation and then [his]_176-rodney manuscript as the marks of a friendship which it flattered and delighted [her]_{303-cassandra} to inspire . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was still out when [she]_{303-cassandra} arrived at [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} . After greeting [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} and [aunt]_1231-aunt and receiving , as usual , a present of two sovereigns for “_[176-rodney] cab fares and dissipation ” from [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , whose favorite niece [she]_{129-katharine} was , [she]_{303-cassandra} changed [her]_{303-cassandra} dress and wandered into [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s room]_{5107-katharine ’s room} to await [her]_{303-cassandra} . What a great looking - glass [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had , [she]_{303-cassandra} thought , and how mature all the arrangements upon the dressing - table were compared to what [she]_{129-katharine} was used to at [home]_2992-home . Glancing round , [she]_{303-cassandra} thought that the bills stuck upon a skewer and stood for ornament upon the mantelpiece were astonishingly like [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , There was n’t a photograph of [William]_176-rodney anywhere to be seen . [The room]_{379-the room} , with [its]_{379-the room} combination of luxury and bareness , [its]_{379-the room} silk dressing - gowns and crimson slippers , [its]_{379-the room} shabby carpet and bare walls , had a powerful air of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} ; [she]_{303-cassandra} stood in the middle of [the room]_{379-the room} and enjoyed the sensation ; and then , with a desire to finger what [[her]_{303-cassandra} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} was in the habit of fingering , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} began to take down the books which stood in a row upon the shelf above the bed . In [most houses]_{5131-most houses} this shelf is the ledge upon which the last relics of religious belief lodge themselves as if , late at night , in the heart of privacy , [people , skeptical by day]_{5132-people , skeptical by day} , find solace in sipping one draught of the old charm for such sorrows or perplexities as may steal from [their]_{5132-people , skeptical by day} hiding - places in the dark . But there was no hymn - book [here]_2985-here . By [their]_2985-here battered covers and enigmatical contents , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} judged them to be old school - books belonging to [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , and piously , though eccentrically , preserved by [[his]_{210-uncle trevor} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} . There was no end , [she]_{303-cassandra} thought , to the unexpectedness of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} had once had a passion for geometry [herself]_{129-katharine} , and , curled upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s quilt , [she]_{129-katharine} became absorbed in trying to remember how far [she]_{129-katharine} had forgotten what [she]_{129-katharine} once knew . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , coming in a little later , found [her]_{129-katharine} deep in this characteristic pursuit . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , shaking the book at [[her]_{303-cassandra} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} , “_[0-i] [my]_0-i whole life ’s changed from this moment ! [I]_0-i must write [the man]_{3095-the man} ’s name down at once , or [I]_0-i shall forget — ” Whose name , what book , which life was changed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} proceeded to ascertain . [She]_{129-katharine} began to lay aside [her]_{129-katharine} clothes hurriedly , for [she]_{129-katharine} was very late . “_[0-i] May [I]_0-i sit and watch [you]_{3002-my dear} ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asked , shutting up [her]_{303-cassandra} book . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i got ready on purpose . ” “_[0-i] Oh , [you]_{3002-my dear} ’re ready , are [you]_{3002-my dear} ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , half turning in the midst of [her]_{129-katharine} operations , and looking at [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , who sat , clasping [her]_{303-cassandra} knees , on the edge of the bed . “_[0-i] There are [people]_383-people dining [here]_2985-here , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , taking in the effect of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} from a new point of view . After an interval , the distinction , the irregular charm , of the small face with its long tapering nose and its bright oval eyes were very notable . The hair rose up off the forehead rather stiffly , and , given a more careful treatment by [hairdressers]_{5136-hairdressers} and [dressmakers]_{5137-dressmakers} , [the light angular figure]_{5138-the light angular figure} might possess a likeness to [a French lady of distinction in the eighteenth century]_{5139-a french lady of distinction in the eighteenth century} . “_[383-people] Who ’s coming to dinner ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asked , anticipating further possibilities of rapture . “_[383-people] There ’s [William]_176-rodney , and , [I]_0-i believe , [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} and [Uncle Aubrey]_{341-uncle aubrey} . ” “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i ’m so glad [William]_176-rodney is coming . Did [he]_176-rodney tell [you]_0-i that [he]_176-rodney sent [me]_0-i [his]_176-rodney manuscript ? [I]_0-i think it ’s wonderful — [I]_0-i think [he]_176-rodney ’s almost good enough for [you]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_0-i shall sit next to [him]_176-rodney and tell [him]_176-rodney what [you]_0-i think of [him]_176-rodney . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i sha n’t dare do that , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asserted . “_[0-i] Why ? [You]_0-i ’re not afraid of [him]_176-rodney , are [you]_0-i ? ” “_[0-i] A little — because [he]_176-rodney ’s connected with [you]_0-i . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} smiled . “_[176-rodney] But then , with [your]_0-i well - known fidelity , considering that [you]_0-i ’re staying [here]_2985-here at least a fortnight , [you]_0-i wo n’t have any illusions left about [me]_0-i by the time [you]_0-i go . [I]_0-i give [you]_0-i a week , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [I]_0-i shall see [my]_0-i power fading day by day . Now it ’s at the climax ; but to - morrow it ’ll have begun to fade . What am [I]_0-i to wear , [I]_0-i wonder ? Find [me]_0-i a blue dress , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , over there in the long wardrobe . ” [She]_0-i spoke disconnectedly , handling brush and comb , and pulling out the little drawers in [her]_0-i dressing - table and leaving them open . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , sitting on the bed behind [her]_0-i , saw the reflection of [[her]_{303-cassandra} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} ’s face in the looking - glass . [The face in the looking - glass]_{5141-the face in the looking - glass} was serious and intent , apparently occupied with other things besides the straightness of the parting which , however , was being driven as straight as a Roman road through the dark hair . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was impressed again by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s maturity ; and , as [she]_{303-cassandra} enveloped [herself]_{303-cassandra} in the blue dress which filled almost the whole of the long looking - glass with blue light and made it the frame of a picture , holding not only the slightly moving effigy of [the beautiful woman]_{5142-the beautiful woman} , but shapes and colors of objects reflected from the background , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} thought that no sight had ever been quite so romantic . It was all in keeping with [the room]_{379-the room} and [the house]_{377-the house} , and [the city]_{3152-the city} round [them]_5146-they ; for [her]_{303-cassandra} ears had not yet ceased to notice the hum of distant wheels . [They]_5146-they went [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} rather late , in spite of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s extreme speed in getting ready . To [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s ears the buzz of voices inside [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} was like the tuning up of the instruments of the orchestra . It seemed to [her]_{303-cassandra} that there were numbers of people in [the room]_{379-the room} , and that [they]_5146-they were [strangers]_{5150-strangers} , and that [they]_5146-they were beautiful and dressed with the greatest distinction , although [they]_5146-they proved to be mostly [[her]_{303-cassandra} relations]_{5151-her relations} , and the distinction of [their]_5146-they clothing was confined , in the eyes of [an impartial observer]_{5152-an impartial observer} , to the white waistcoat which [Rodney]_176-rodney wore . But [they]_5146-they all rose simultaneously , which was by itself impressive , and [they]_5146-they all exclaimed , and shook hands , and [she]_{303-cassandra} was introduced to [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} , and the door sprang open , and dinner was announced , and [they]_5146-they filed off , [William Rodney]_176-rodney offering [her]_{303-cassandra} [his]_176-rodney slightly bent black arm , as [she]_{303-cassandra} had secretly hoped [he]_176-rodney would . In short , had the scene been looked at only through [her]_{303-cassandra} eyes , it must have been described as one of magical brilliancy . The pattern of the soup - plates , the stiff folds of the napkins , which rose by the side of each plate in the shape of arum lilies , the long sticks of bread tied with pink ribbon , the silver dishes and the sea - colored champagne glasses , with the flakes of gold congealed in their stems — all these details , together with a curiously pervasive smell of kid gloves , contributed to [her]_{303-cassandra} exhilaration , which must be repressed , however , because [she]_{303-cassandra} was grown up , and [the world]_{478-the world} held no more for [her]_{303-cassandra} to marvel at . [The world]_{478-the world} held no more for [her]_{303-cassandra} to marvel at , it is true ; but it held [other people]_{2964-other people} ; and [each other person]_{5156-each other person} possessed in [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s mind some fragment of what privately [she]_{303-cassandra} called “_{[303-cassandra]} reality . ” It was a gift that [they]_5146-they would impart if [you]_5157-you asked [them]_5146-they for it , and thus no dinner - party could possibly be dull , and [little Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} on [her]_{303-cassandra} right and [William Rodney]_176-rodney on [her]_{303-cassandra} left were in equal measure endowed with the quality which seemed to [her]_{303-cassandra} so unmistakable and so precious that the way [people]_383-people neglected to demand it was a constant source of surprise to [her]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_{303-cassandra} scarcely knew , indeed , whether [she]_{303-cassandra} was talking to [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} or to [William Rodney]_176-rodney . But to one who , by degrees , assumed the shape of [an elderly man with a mustache]_{5159-an elderly man with a mustache} , [she]_{303-cassandra} described how [she]_{303-cassandra} had arrived in [London]_2-london that very afternoon , and how [she]_{303-cassandra} had taken [a cab]_{3079-a cab} and driven through [the streets]_{388-the streets} . [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} , [an editor of fifty years]_{5162-an editor of fifty years} , bowed [his]_{342-mr. peyton} bald head repeatedly , with apparent understanding . At least , [he]_{342-mr. peyton} understood that [she]_{303-cassandra} was very young and pretty , and saw that [she]_{303-cassandra} was excited , though [he]_{342-mr. peyton} could not gather at once from [her]_{303-cassandra} words or remember from [his]_{342-mr. peyton} own experience what there was to be excited about . “_{[303-cassandra]} Were there any buds on the trees ? ” [he]_{342-mr. peyton} asked . “_{[303-cassandra]} Which line did [she]_2267-she travel by ? ” [He]_{342-mr. peyton} was cut short in these amiable inquiries by [her]_{303-cassandra} desire to know whether [he]_{342-mr. peyton} was one of [those who read]_{5163-those who read} , or one of [those who look out of the window]_{5164-those who look out of the window} ? [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} was by no means sure which [he]_{342-mr. peyton} did . [He]_{342-mr. peyton} rather thought [he]_{342-mr. peyton} did both . [He]_{342-mr. peyton} was told that [he]_{342-mr. peyton} had made a most dangerous confession . [She]_{303-cassandra} could deduce [his]_{342-mr. peyton} entire history from that one fact . [He]_{342-mr. peyton} challenged [her]_{303-cassandra} to proceed ; and [she]_{303-cassandra} proclaimed [him]_{342-mr. peyton} [a Liberal Member of Parliament]_{5165-a liberal member of parliament} . [William]_176-rodney , nominally engaged in a desultory conversation with [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} , heard every word , and taking advantage of the fact that [elderly ladies]_{3660-elderly ladies} have little continuity of conversation , at least with [those whom [they]_{3660-elderly ladies} esteem for [their]_{3660-elderly ladies} youth and [their]_{3660-elderly ladies} sex]_{5167-those whom they esteem for their youth and their sex} , [he]_176-rodney asserted [his]_176-rodney presence by a very nervous laugh . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} turned to [him]_176-rodney directly . [She]_{303-cassandra} was enchanted to find that , instantly and with such ease , another of [these fascinating beings]_{5168-these fascinating beings} was offering untold wealth for [her]_{303-cassandra} extraction . “_{[303-cassandra]} There ’s no doubt what [you]_2268-you do in [a railway carriage]_{2269-a railway carriage} , [William]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said , making use in [her]_{303-cassandra} pleasure of [his]_176-rodney first name . “_[176-rodney] [You]_2268-you never once look out of the window ; [you]_2268-you read all the time . ” “_[2268-you] And what facts do [you]_2270-you deduce from that ? ” [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} asked . “_[2270-you] Oh , that [he]_176-rodney ’s [a poet]_{3071-a poet} , of course , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_[176-rodney] But [I]_0-i must confess that [I]_0-i knew that before , so it is n’t fair . [I]_0-i ’ve got [your]_2268-you manuscript with [me]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i went on , disregarding [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} in a shameless way . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve got all sorts of things [I]_0-i want to ask [you]_2268-you about it . ” [William]_176-rodney inclined [his]_176-rodney head and tried to conceal the pleasure that [her]_0-i remark gave [him]_176-rodney . But the pleasure was not unalloyed . However susceptible to flattery [William]_176-rodney might be , [he]_176-rodney would never tolerate it from [people who showed a gross or emotional taste in literature]_{5169-people who showed a gross or emotional taste in literature} , and if [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} erred even slightly from what [he]_176-rodney considered essential in this respect [he]_176-rodney would express [his]_176-rodney discomfort by flinging out [his]_176-rodney hands and wrinkling [his]_176-rodney forehead ; [he]_176-rodney would find no pleasure in [her]_{303-cassandra} flattery after that . “_[2268-you] First of all , ” [she]_0-i proceeded , “_[2268-you] [I]_0-i want to know why [you]_2268-you chose to write a play ? ” “_[2268-you] Ah ! [You]_0-i mean it ’s not dramatic ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean that [I]_0-i do n’t see what it would gain by being acted . But then does [Shakespeare]_170-william gain ? [Henry]_333-henry and [I]_0-i are always arguing about [Shakespeare]_170-william . [I]_0-i ’m certain [he]_170-william ’s wrong , but [I]_0-i ca n’t prove it because [I]_0-i ’ve only seen [Shakespeare]_170-william acted once in [Lincoln]_52-lincoln . But [I]_0-i ’m quite positive , ” [she]_0-i insisted , “_[0-i] that [Shakespeare]_170-william wrote for the stage . ” “_{[170-william]} [You]_0-i ’re perfectly right , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was hoping [you]_0-i were on that side . [Henry]_333-henry ’s wrong — entirely wrong . Of course , [I]_0-i ’ve failed , as [all the moderns]_{2272-all the moderns} fail . [Dear]_1609-dear , [dear]_1609-dear , [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i ’d consulted [you]_1609-dear before . ” From this point [they]_5170-they proceeded to go over , as far as memory served [them]_5170-they , the different aspects of [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s drama . [She]_0-i said nothing that jarred upon [him]_176-rodney , and untrained daring had the power to stimulate experience to such an extent that [Rodney]_176-rodney was frequently seen to hold [his]_176-rodney fork suspended before [him]_176-rodney , while [he]_176-rodney debated the first principles of the art . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} thought to [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had never seen [him]_176-rodney to such advantage ; yes , [he]_176-rodney was somehow different ; [he]_176-rodney reminded [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} of [some one who was dead]_{5171-some one who was dead} , [some one who was distinguished]_{5172-some one who was distinguished} — [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had forgotten [his]_176-rodney name . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s voice rose high in its excitement . “_[0-i] [You]_2275-you ’ve not read ‘ [The Idiot]_{2276-the idiot} ’ ! ” [she]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . “_[2275-you] [I]_0-i ’ve read ‘ War and Peace ’ , ” [William]_176-rodney replied , a little testily . “_[0-i] ‘ War and Peace ’ ! ” [she]_{303-cassandra} echoed , in a tone of derision . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i do n’t understand [the Russians]_{343-the russians} . ” “_{[343-the russians]} Shake hands ! Shake hands ! ” boomed [Uncle Aubrey]_{341-uncle aubrey} from across the table . “_[2277-i.] Neither do [I.]_2277-i. And [I]_0-i hazard the opinion that [they]_{343-the russians} do n’t [themselves]_{343-the russians} . ” [The old gentleman]_{3966-the old gentleman} had ruled a large part of [the Indian Empire]_{5174-the indian empire} , but [he]_{3966-the old gentleman} was in the habit of saying that [he]_{3966-the old gentleman} had rather have written the works of [Dickens]_344-dickens . The table now took possession of a subject much to [its]_5175-its liking . [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} showed premonitory signs of pronouncing an opinion . Although [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} had blunted [her]_{201-aunt eleanor} taste upon some form of philanthropy for twenty - five years , [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} had a fine natural instinct for [an upstart]_{5176-an upstart} or [a pretender]_{5177-a pretender} , and knew to a hairbreadth what literature should be and what it should not be . [She]_{201-aunt eleanor} was born to the knowledge , and scarcely thought it a matter to be proud of . “_{[343-the russians]} Insanity is not a fit subject for fiction , ” [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} announced positively . “_{[343-the russians]} There ’s the well - known case of Hamlet , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} interposed , in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} leisurely , half - humorous tones . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Ah , but poetry ’s different , [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , ” said [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} , as if [she]_0-i had special authority from [Shakespeare]_170-william to say so . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Different altogether . And [I]_0-i ’ve never thought , for [my]_0-i part , that [Hamlet]_211-hamlet was as mad as [they]_2278-they make out . What is [your]_{210-uncle trevor} opinion , [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} ? ” For , as there was [a minister of literature]_{5178-a minister of literature} present in the person of [the editor of an esteemed review]_{5179-the editor of an esteemed review} , [she]_{201-aunt eleanor} deferred to [him]_{342-mr. peyton} . [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} leant a little back in [his]_{342-mr. peyton} chair , and , putting [his]_{342-mr. peyton} head rather on one side , observed that that was a question that [he]_{342-mr. peyton} had never been able to answer entirely to [his]_{342-mr. peyton} satisfaction . There was much to be said on both sides , but as [he]_{342-mr. peyton} considered upon which side [he]_{342-mr. peyton} should say it , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} broke in upon [his]_{342-mr. peyton} judicious meditations . “_{[342-mr. peyton]} Lovely , [lovely Ophelia]_{345-lovely ophelia} ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_{[345-lovely ophelia]} What a wonderful power it is — poetry ! [I]_0-i wake up in the morning all bedraggled ; there ’s a yellow fog outside ; [little Emily]_257-emily turns on the electric light when [she]_257-emily brings [me]_0-i [my]_0-i tea , and says , ‘ Oh , [ma’am]_2279-ma’am , the water ’s frozen in the cistern , and [cook]_2280-cook ’s cut [her]_2280-cook finger to the bone . ’ And then [I]_0-i open a little green book , and the birds are singing , the stars shining , the flowers twinkling — ” [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked about [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} as if these presences had suddenly manifested themselves round [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} dining - room table]_{5180-her dining - room table} . “_[0-i] Has [the cook]_{2176-the cook} cut [her]_{2176-the cook} finger badly ? ” [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} demanded , addressing [herself]_{201-aunt eleanor} naturally to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[2176-the cook]} Oh , [the cook]_{2176-the cook} ’s finger is only [my]_0-i way of putting it , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_{[2176-the cook]} But if [she]_{2176-the cook} had cut [her]_{2176-the cook} arm off , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would have sewn it on again , ” [she]_0-i remarked , with an affectionate glance at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} , who looked , [she]_0-i thought , a little sad . “_{[129-katharine]} But what horrid , horrid thoughts , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} wound up , laying down [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} napkin and pushing [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} chair back . “_{[2176-the cook]} Come , let [us]_2283-us find something more cheerful to talk about [upstairs]_523-upstairs . ” [Upstairs]_523-upstairs in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} found fresh sources of pleasure , first in the distinguished and expectant look of [the room]_{379-the room} , and then in the chance of exercising [her]_{303-cassandra} divining - rod upon a new assortment of [human beings]_{923-human beings} . But the low tones of [the women]_{3513-the women} , [their]_{3513-the women} meditative silences , the beauty which , to [her]_{303-cassandra} at least , shone even from black satin and the knobs of amber which encircled elderly necks , changed [her]_{303-cassandra} wish to chatter to a more subdued desire merely to watch and to whisper . [She]_{303-cassandra} entered with delight into an atmosphere in which private matters were being interchanged freely , almost in monosyllables , by [the older women who now accepted [her]_{303-cassandra} as one of [themselves]_{5187-the older women who now accepted her as one of themselves}]_{5187-the older women who now accepted her as one of themselves} . [Her]_{303-cassandra} expression became very gentle and sympathetic , as if [she]_{303-cassandra} , too , were full of solicitude for [the world]_{478-the world} which was somehow being cared for , managed and deprecated by [Aunt Maggie]_233-maggie and [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} . After a time [she]_{303-cassandra} perceived that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was outside [the community]_{3242-the community} in some way , and , suddenly , [she]_{303-cassandra} threw aside [her]_{303-cassandra} wisdom and gentleness and concern and began to laugh . “_{[2176-the cook]} What are [you]_2285-you laughing at ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . A joke so foolish and unfilial was n’t worth explaining . “_[2285-you] It was nothing — ridiculous — in the worst of taste , but still , if [you]_2285-you half shut [your]_2285-you eyes and looked — ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} half shut [her]_{129-katharine} eyes and looked , but [she]_{129-katharine} looked in the wrong direction , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} laughed more than ever , and was still laughing and doing [her]_{303-cassandra} best to explain in a whisper that [Aunt Eleanor]_{201-aunt eleanor} , through half - shut eyes , was like the parrot in the cage at [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} , when [the gentlemen]_{3514-the gentlemen} came in and [Rodney]_176-rodney walked straight up to [them]_{3514-the gentlemen} and wanted to know what [they]_{3514-the gentlemen} were laughing at . “_[2285-you] [I]_0-i utterly refuse to tell [you]_2286-him ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied , standing up straight , clasping [her]_{303-cassandra} hands in front of [her]_{303-cassandra} , and facing [him]_2286-him . [Her]_{303-cassandra} mockery was delicious to [him]_2286-him . [He]_2286-him had not even for a second the fear that [she]_{303-cassandra} had been laughing at [him]_2286-him . [She]_{303-cassandra} was laughing because life was so adorable , so enchanting . “_[2285-you] Ah , but [you]_0-i ’re cruel to make [me]_0-i feel the barbarity of [my]_0-i sex , ” [he]_2286-him replied , drawing [his]_2286-him feet together and pressing [his]_2286-him finger - tips upon an imaginary opera - hat or malacca cane . “_[0-i] [We]_2287-we ’ve been discussing all sorts of dull things , and now [I]_0-i shall never know what [I]_0-i want to know more than anything in [the world]_{478-the world} . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t deceive [us]_2287-we for a minute ! ” [she]_0-i cried . “_[0-i] Not for a second . [We]_2287-we both know that [you]_0-i ’ve been enjoying [yourself]_0-i immensely . Has n’t [he]_2289-he , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_[2289-he] No , ” [she]_0-i replied , “_[2289-he] [I]_0-i think [he]_2289-he ’s speaking the truth . [He]_2289-he does n’t care much for politics . ” [Her]_0-i words , though spoken simply , produced a curious change in the light , sparkling atmosphere . [William]_176-rodney at once lost [his]_176-rodney look of animation and said seriously : “_[2289-he] [I]_0-i detest politics . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t think [any man]_{1485-any man} has the right to say that , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , almost severely . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i agree . [I]_0-i mean that [I]_0-i detest [politicians]_{2291-politicians} , ” [he]_2289-he corrected [himself]_2289-he quickly . “_[2292-you] [You]_2292-you see , [I]_0-i believe [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} is what [they]_2293-they call [a Feminist]_{2294-a feminist} , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went on . “_[2293-they] Or rather , [she]_{303-cassandra} was [a Feminist]_{2294-a feminist} six months ago , but it ’s no good supposing that [she]_{303-cassandra} is now what [she]_{303-cassandra} was then . That is one of [her]_{303-cassandra} greatest charms in [my]_0-i eyes . [One]_422-one never can tell . ” [She]_0-i smiled at [her]_0-i as [an elder sister]_{5191-an elder sister} might smile . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} make [one]_422-one feel so horribly small ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . “_{[303-cassandra]} No , no , that ’s not what [she]_{303-cassandra} means , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney interposed . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i quite agree that [women]_557-women have an immense advantage over [us]_2299-us there . [One]_422-one misses a lot by attempting to know things thoroughly . ” “_[422-one] [He]_422-one knows Greek thoroughly , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[422-one] But then [he]_422-one also knows a good deal about painting , and a certain amount about music . [He]_422-one ’s very cultivated — perhaps [the most cultivated person [I]_0-i know]_{2301-the most cultivated person i know} . ” “_[422-one] And poetry , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} added . “_[422-one] Yes , [I]_0-i was forgetting [his]_422-one play , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked , and turning [her]_{129-katharine} head as though [she]_{129-katharine} saw something that needed [her]_{129-katharine} attention in a far corner of [the room]_{379-the room} , [she]_{129-katharine} left [them]_5193-they . For a moment [they]_5193-they stood silent , after what seemed a deliberate introduction to [each other]_{451-each other} , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} watched [her]_{129-katharine} crossing [the room]_{379-the room} . “_[333-henry] [Henry]_333-henry , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said next moment , “_[333-henry] would say that [a stage]_{2302-a stage} ought to be no bigger than [this drawing - room]_{390-this drawing - room} . [He]_422-one wants there to be singing and dancing as well as acting — only all the opposite of [Wagner]_346-wagner — [you]_333-henry understand ? ” [They]_5193-they sat down , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , turning when [she]_{129-katharine} reached the window , saw [William]_176-rodney with [his]_176-rodney hand raised in gesticulation and [his]_176-rodney mouth open , as if ready to speak the moment [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ceased . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s duty , whether it was to pull a curtain or move a chair , was either forgotten or discharged , but [she]_{129-katharine} continued to stand by the window without doing anything . [The elderly people]_{391-the elderly people} were all grouped together round the fire . [They]_{391-the elderly people} seemed [an independent , middle - aged community busy with its own concerns]_{5197-an independent , middle - aged community busy with its own concerns} . [They]_{391-the elderly people} were telling stories very well and listening to [them]_{391-the elderly people} very graciously . But for [her]_{129-katharine} there was no obvious employment . “_[333-henry] If [anybody]_1337-anybody says anything , [I]_0-i shall say that [I]_0-i ’m looking at [the river]_{945-the river} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} thought , for in [her]_0-i slavery to [[her]_0-i family]_{463-her family} traditions , [she]_0-i was ready to pay for [her]_0-i transgression with some plausible falsehood . [She]_0-i pushed aside the blind and looked at [the river]_{945-the river} . But it was a dark night and [the water]_{3069-the water} was barely visible . [Cabs]_387-cabs were passing , and [couples]_5202-couples were loitering slowly along [the road]_{941-the road} , keeping as close to the railings as possible , though the trees had as yet no leaves to cast shadow upon [their]_5202-couples embraces . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , thus withdrawn , felt [her]_{129-katharine} loneliness . The evening had been one of pain , offering [her]_{129-katharine} , minute after minute , plainer proof that things would fall out as [she]_{129-katharine} had foreseen . [She]_{129-katharine} had faced tones , gestures , glances ; [she]_{129-katharine} knew , with [her]_{129-katharine} back to [them]_5204-them , that [William]_176-rodney , even now , was plunging deeper and deeper into the delight of unexpected understanding with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [He]_176-rodney had almost told [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_176-rodney was finding it infinitely better than [he]_176-rodney could have believed . [She]_{129-katharine} looked out of the window , sternly determined to forget private misfortunes , to forget [herself]_{129-katharine} , to forget individual lives . With [her]_{129-katharine} eyes upon the dark sky , voices reached [her]_{129-katharine} from [the room in which [she]_{129-katharine} was standing]_{5205-the room in which she was standing} . [She]_{129-katharine} heard [them]_5204-them as if [they]_5204-them came from [people]_383-people in [another world]_{3238-another world} , a world antecedent to [[her]_{129-katharine} world]_{3239-her world} , a world that was the prelude , the antechamber to reality ; it was as if , lately dead , [she]_{129-katharine} heard [the living]_{4618-the living} talking . The dream nature of [our]_5210-our life had never been more apparent to [her]_{129-katharine} , never had life been more certainly an affair of four walls , whose objects existed only within the range of lights and fires , beyond which lay nothing , or nothing more than darkness . [She]_{129-katharine} seemed physically to have stepped beyond [the region where the light of illusion still makes it desirable to possess , to love , to struggle]_{5211-the region where the light of illusion still makes it desirable to possess , to love , to struggle} . And yet [her]_{129-katharine} melancholy brought [her]_{129-katharine} no serenity . [She]_{129-katharine} still heard the voices within [the room]_{379-the room} . [She]_{129-katharine} was still tormented by desires . [She]_{129-katharine} wished to be beyond [their]_5204-them range . [She]_{129-katharine} wished inconsistently enough that [she]_{129-katharine} could find [herself]_{129-katharine} driving rapidly through [the streets]_{388-the streets} ; [she]_{129-katharine} was even anxious to be with [some one who , after a moment ’s groping , took a definite shape and solidified]_{5214-some one who , after a moment ’s groping , took a definite shape and solidified} into [the person of [Mary Datchet]_175-mary]_{5215-the person of mary datchet} . [She]_{129-katharine} drew the curtains so that the draperies met in deep folds in the middle of the window . “_[0-i] Ah , there [she]_2306-she is , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , who was standing swaying affably from side to side , with [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} back to the fire . “_[2306-she] Come here , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [I]_0-i could n’t see where [you]_{129-katharine} ’d got to — [[our]_2307-our children]_{2308-our children} , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} observed parenthetically , “_[0-i] have [their]_{2308-our children} uses — [I]_0-i want [you]_{129-katharine} to go to [[my]_0-i study]_{1860-my study} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; go to the third shelf on the right - hand side of the door ; take down ‘ [Trelawny]_347-trelawny ’s Recollections of [Shelley]_173-shelley ’ ; bring it to [me]_0-i . Then , [Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} , [you]_{129-katharine} will have to admit to [the assembled company]_{2310-the assembled company} that [you]_{129-katharine} have been mistaken . ” “_{[347-trelawny]} ‘ [Trelawny]_347-trelawny ’s Recollections of [Shelley]_173-shelley . ’ The third shelf on the right of the door , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . After all , [one]_422-one does not check [children]_{3537-children} in [their]_{3537-children} play , or rouse [sleepers]_{5218-sleepers} from [their]_{3537-children} dreams . [She]_{129-katharine} passed [William]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} on [her]_{129-katharine} way to the door . “_{[347-trelawny]} Stop , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” said [William]_176-rodney , speaking almost as if [he]_176-rodney were conscious of [her]_{129-katharine} against [his]_176-rodney will . “_{[129-katharine]} Let [me]_0-i go . ” [He]_176-rodney rose , after a second ’s hesitation , and [she]_{129-katharine} understood that it cost [him]_176-rodney an effort . [She]_{129-katharine} knelt one knee upon the sofa where [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} sat , looking down at [[her]_{129-katharine} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} ’s face , which still moved with the speed of what [she]_{129-katharine} had been saying . “_{[129-katharine]} Are [you]_0-i — happy ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_{[129-katharine]} Oh , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , as if no further words were needed . “_{[129-katharine]} Of course , [we]_2312-we disagree about every subject under the sun , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , “_[2313-he] but [I]_0-i think [he]_2313-he ’s [the cleverest man [I]_0-i ’ve ever met]_{2314-the cleverest man i ’ve ever met} — and [you]_{3002-my dear} ’re [the most beautiful woman]_{2315-the most beautiful woman} , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} added , looking at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and as [she]_{303-cassandra} looked [her]_{303-cassandra} face lost its animation and became almost melancholy in sympathy with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s melancholy , which seemed to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} the last refinement of [her]_{303-cassandra} distinction . “_{[3002-my dear]} Ah , but it ’s only ten o’clock , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} darkly . “_{[129-katharine]} As late as that ! Well — ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} did not understand . “_{[129-katharine]} At twelve [my]_0-i horses turn into rats and off [I]_0-i go . The illusion fades . But [I]_0-i accept [my]_0-i fate . [I]_0-i make hay while the sun shines . ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} looked at [her]_{129-katharine} with a puzzled expression . “_[0-i] Here ’s [Katharine]_{129-katharine} talking about rats , and hay , and all sorts of odd things , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , as [William]_176-rodney returned to [them]_5220-them . [He]_176-rodney had been quick . “_{[129-katharine]} Can [you]_2316-you make [her]_2317-her out ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} perceived from [his]_176-rodney little frown and hesitation that [he]_176-rodney did not find that particular problem to [his]_176-rodney taste at present . [She]_0-i stood upright at once and said in a different tone : “_[2316-you] [I]_0-i really am off , though . [I]_0-i wish [you]_2316-you ’d explain if [they]_2318-they say anything , [William]_176-rodney . [I]_0-i sha n’t be late , but [I]_0-i ’ve got to see [some one]_{376-some one} . ” “_{[376-some one]} At this time of night ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . “_{[376-some one]} Whom have [you]_2316-you got to see ? ” [William]_176-rodney demanded . “_{[1824-a friend]} [A friend]_{1824-a friend} , ” [she]_0-i remarked , half turning [her]_0-i head towards [him]_176-rodney . [She]_0-i knew that [he]_176-rodney wished [her]_0-i to stay , not , indeed , with [them]_2318-they , but in [[their]_2318-they neighborhood]_{5221-their neighborhood} , in case of need . “_{[1824-a friend]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has [a great many friends]_{2321-a great many friends} , ” said [William]_176-rodney rather lamely , sitting down once more , as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} . [She]_{129-katharine} was soon driving quickly , as [she]_{129-katharine} had wished to drive , through [the lamp - lit streets]_{5223-the lamp - lit streets} . [She]_{129-katharine} liked both light and speed , and the sense of being out of doors alone , and the knowledge that [she]_{129-katharine} would reach [Mary]_175-mary in [[her]_175-mary high , lonely room]_{5224-her high , lonely room} at the end of [the drive]_{5225-the drive} . [She]_{129-katharine} climbed the stone steps quickly , remarking the queer look of [her]_{129-katharine} blue silk skirt and blue shoes upon the stone , dusty with the boots of the day , under the light of an occasional jet of flickering gas . The door was opened in a second by [Mary]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary , whose face showed not only surprise at the sight of [[her]_175-mary visitor]_{5226-her visitor} , but some degree of embarrassment . [She]_175-mary greeted [her]_175-mary cordially , and , as there was no time for explanations , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} walked straight into [the sitting - room]_{1330-the sitting - room} , and found [herself]_{129-katharine} in the presence of [a young man who was lying back in a chair]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} and holding a sheet of paper in [his]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} hand , at which [he]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} was looking as if [he]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} expected to go on immediately with what [he]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} was in the middle of saying to [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . The apparition of [an unknown lady in full evening dress]_{5229-an unknown lady in full evening dress} seemed to disturb [him]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} . [He]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} took [his]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} pipe from [his]_{5228-a young man who was lying back in a chair} mouth , rose stiffly , and sat down again with a jerk . “_{[2321-a great many friends]} Have [you]_2322-you been dining out ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked . “_[2322-you] Are [you]_2322-you working ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} inquired simultaneously . [The young man]_{457-the young man} shook [his]_{457-the young man} head , as if [he]_{457-the young man} disowned [his]_{457-the young man} share in the question with some irritation . “_[2322-you] Well , not exactly , ” [Mary]_175-mary replied . “_[2322-you] [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} had brought some papers to show [me]_0-i . [We]_2323-we were going through them , but [we]_2323-we ’d almost done .... Tell [us]_2323-we about [your]_2322-you party . ” [Mary]_175-mary had a ruffled appearance , as if [she]_175-mary had been running [her]_175-mary fingers through [her]_175-mary hair in the course of [her]_175-mary conversation ; [she]_175-mary was dressed more or less like [a Russian peasant girl]_{5231-a russian peasant girl} . [She]_175-mary sat down again in a chair which looked as if it had been [her]_175-mary seat for some hours ; the saucer which stood upon the arm contained the ashes of many cigarettes . [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , [a very young man with a fresh complexion and a high forehead from which the hair was combed straight back]_{5232-a very young man with a fresh complexion and a high forehead from which the hair was combed straight back} , was one of that group of “_{[2324-very able young men]} [very able young men]_{2324-very able young men} ” suspected by [Mr. Clacton]_{197-mr. clacton} , justly as it turned out , of an influence upon [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [He]_{348-mr. basnett} had come down from one of [the Universities]_{5233-the universities} not long ago , and was now charged with the reformation of society . In connection with the rest of [the group of very able young men]_{5234-the group of very able young men} [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had drawn up a scheme for the education of [labor]_5235-labor , for the amalgamation of [the middle class]_{5236-the middle class} and [the working class]_{5237-the working class} , and for a joint assault of the two bodies , combined in [the Society for the Education of Democracy]_{5238-the society for the education of democracy} , upon [Capital]_91-capital . The scheme had already reached the stage in which it was permissible to hire [an office]_{2994-an office} and engage [a secretary]_{3752-a secretary} , and [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had been deputed to expound the scheme to [Mary]_175-mary , and make [her]_175-mary an offer of the Secretaryship , to which , as a matter of principle , a small salary was attached . Since seven o’clock that evening [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had been reading out loud the document in which the faith of [the new reformers]_{5241-the new reformers} was expounded , but the reading was so frequently interrupted by discussion , and it was so often necessary to inform [Mary]_175-mary “_{[2324-very able young men]} in strictest confidence ” of the private characters and evil designs of [certain individuals]_{5242-certain individuals} and [societies]_{5243-societies} that [they]_{5242-certain individuals} were still only half - way through the manuscript . [Neither of [them]_{5242-certain individuals}]_{5244-neither of them} realized that the talk had already lasted three hours . In [their]_{5242-certain individuals} absorption [they]_{5242-certain individuals} had forgotten even to feed the fire , and yet both [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} exposition , and [Mary]_175-mary in [her]_175-mary interrogation , carefully preserved a kind of formality calculated to check the desire of the human mind for irrelevant discussion . [Her]_175-mary questions frequently began , “_{[2324-very able young men]} Am [I]_0-i to understand — ” and [his]_{348-mr. basnett} replies invariably represented the views of some one called “_[2325-our] [we]_2325-our . ” By this time [Mary]_175-mary was almost persuaded that [she]_175-mary , too , was included in the “_[2325-our] [we]_2325-our , ” and agreed with [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} in believing that “_[2325-our] [our]_2325-our ” views , “_[2325-our] [our]_2325-our ” society , “_[2325-our] [our]_2325-our ” policy , stood for something quite definitely segregated from [the main body of society]_{5245-the main body of society} in a circle of superior illumination . The appearance of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in this atmosphere was extremely incongruous , and had the effect of making [Mary]_175-mary remember all sorts of things that [she]_175-mary had been glad to forget . “_[2325-our] [You]_2326-you ’ve been dining out ? ” [she]_175-mary asked again , looking , with a little smile , at the blue silk and the pearl - sewn shoes . “_[2325-our] No , at [home]_2992-home . Are [you]_2326-you starting something new ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} hazarded , rather hesitatingly , looking at the papers . “_[2325-our] [We]_2325-our are , ” [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} replied . [He]_{348-mr. basnett} said no more . “_[2325-our] [I]_0-i ’m thinking of leaving [[our]_2325-our friends]_{1482-our friends} in [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} , ” [Mary]_175-mary explained . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see . And then [you]_2326-you will do something else . ” “_[2326-you] Well , [I]_0-i ’m afraid [I]_0-i like working , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[0-i] Afraid , ” said [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , conveying the impression that , in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} opinion , [no sensible person]_{5246-no sensible person} could be afraid of liking to work . “_[0-i] Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as if [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had stated this opinion aloud . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should like to start something — something off one ’s own bat — that ’s what [I]_0-i should like . ” “_[0-i] Yes , that ’s the fun , ” said [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , looking at [her]_{129-katharine} for the first time rather keenly , and refilling [his]_{348-mr. basnett} pipe . “_[0-i] But [you]_2326-you ca n’t limit work — that ’s what [I]_0-i mean , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean there are other sorts of work . [No one]_{2921-no one} works harder than [a woman with little children]_{2330-a woman with little children} . ” “_[0-i] Quite so , ” said [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . “_[0-i] It ’s precisely [the women with [babies]_2332-babies [we]_2333-we want to get hold of]_{2331-the women with babies we want to get hold of} . ” [He]_{348-mr. basnett} glanced at [his]_{348-mr. basnett} document , rolled it into a cylinder between [his]_{348-mr. basnett} fingers , and gazed into the fire . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt that in this company anything that [one]_422-one said would be judged upon [its]_422-one merits ; [one]_422-one had only to say what [one]_422-one thought , rather barely and tersely , with a curious assumption that the number of things that could properly be thought about was strictly limited . And [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} was only stiff upon the surface ; there was an intelligence in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} face which attracted [her]_{129-katharine} intelligence . “_{[2332-babies]} When will [the public]_{731-the public} know ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_{[731-the public]} What d’you mean — about [us]_2333-we ? ” [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} asked , with a little smile . “_{[731-the public]} That depends upon many things , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . [The conspirators]_{5250-the conspirators} looked pleased , as if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s question , with the belief in [their]_{5250-the conspirators} existence which it implied , had a warming effect upon [them]_{5250-the conspirators} . “_{[731-the public]} In starting a society such as [we]_2333-we wish to start ( [we]_2333-we ca n’t say any more at present ) , ” [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} began , with a little jerk of [his]_{348-mr. basnett} head , “_{[731-the public]} there are two things to remember — [the Press]_{2335-the press} and [the public]_{731-the public} . [Other societies , which shall be nameless]_{2337-other societies , which shall be nameless} , have gone under because [they]_{2337-other societies , which shall be nameless} ’ve appealed only to [cranks]_2338-cranks . If [you]_2339-you do n’t want [a mutual admiration society]_{2340-a mutual admiration society} , which dies as soon as [you]_2339-you ’ve all discovered [each other]_{451-each other} ’s faults , [you]_2339-you must nobble the Press . [You]_2339-you must appeal to [the public]_{731-the public} . ” “_{[731-the public]} That ’s the difficulty , ” said [Mary]_175-mary thoughtfully . “_{[731-the public]} That ’s where [she]_2343-she comes in , ” said [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , jerking [his]_{348-mr. basnett} head in [Mary]_175-mary ’s direction . “_[2343-she] [She]_2343-she ’s the only one of [us]_2344-us who ’s [a capitalist]_{2345-a capitalist} . [She]_2343-she can make a whole - time job of it . [I]_0-i ’m tied to [an office]_{2994-an office} ; [I]_0-i can only give [my]_0-i spare time . Are [you]_2347-you , by any chance , on the look - out for a job ? ” [he]_{348-mr. basnett} asked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with a queer mixture of distrust and deference . “_[2347-you] Marriage is [her]_2343-she job at present , ” [Mary]_175-mary replied for [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[2347-you] Oh , [I]_0-i see , ” said [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . [He]_{348-mr. basnett} made allowances for that ; [he]_{348-mr. basnett} and [[his]_{348-mr. basnett} friends]_{953-his friends} had faced the question of sex , along with all [others]_1056-others , and assigned it an honorable place in [their]_2344-us scheme of life . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt this beneath the roughness of [his]_{348-mr. basnett} manner ; and a world entrusted to the guardianship of [Mary Datchet]_175-mary and [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} a good world , although not [a romantic or beautiful place]_{5253-a romantic or beautiful place} or , to put it figuratively , a place where [any line of blue mist softly linked tree to tree upon the horizon]_{5254-any line of blue mist softly linked tree to tree upon the horizon} . For a moment [she]_{129-katharine} thought [she]_{129-katharine} saw in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} face , bent now over the fire , the features of [that original man whom [we]_5256-their still recall every now and then , although [we]_5256-their know only [the clerk]_{5257-the clerk} , [barrister]_{5258-barrister} , [Governmental official]_{5259-governmental official} , or workingman variety of [him]_{348-mr. basnett}]_{5255-that original man whom we still recall every now and then , although we know only the clerk , barrister , governmental official , or workingman variety of him} . Not that [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , giving [his]_{348-mr. basnett} days to commerce and [his]_{348-mr. basnett} spare time to social reform , would long carry about [him]_{348-mr. basnett} any trace of [his]_{348-mr. basnett} possibilities of completeness ; but , for the moment , in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} youth and ardor , still speculative , still uncramped , one might imagine [him]_{348-mr. basnett} [the citizen of [a nobler state than [ours]_5256-their]_{5261-a nobler state than ours}]_{5260-the citizen of a nobler state than ours} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned over [her]_{129-katharine} small stock of information , and wondered what [[their]_5256-their society]_{5262-their society} might be going to attempt . Then [she]_{129-katharine} remembered that [she]_{129-katharine} was hindering [their]_5256-their business , and rose , still thinking of [this society]_{5263-this society} , and thus thinking , [she]_{129-katharine} said to [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} : “_[2347-you] Well , [you]_2348-you ’ll ask [me]_0-i to join when the time comes , [I]_0-i hope . ” [He]_{348-mr. basnett} nodded , and took [his]_{348-mr. basnett} pipe from [his]_{348-mr. basnett} mouth , but , being unable to think of anything to say , [he]_{348-mr. basnett} put it back again , although [he]_{348-mr. basnett} would have been glad if [she]_{129-katharine} had stayed . Against [her]_{129-katharine} wish , [Mary]_175-mary insisted upon taking [her]_{129-katharine} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , and then , as there was [no cab]_{4770-no cab} to be seen , [they]_5256-their stood in [the street]_{397-the street} together , looking about [them]_5256-their . “_[0-i] Go back , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} urged [her]_175-mary , thinking of [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} with [his]_{348-mr. basnett} papers in [his]_{348-mr. basnett} hand . “_[2349-you] [You]_2349-you ca n’t wander about [the streets]_{388-the streets} alone in those clothes , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , but the desire to find [a cab]_{3079-a cab} was not [her]_175-mary true reason for standing beside [Katharine]_{129-katharine} for a minute or two . Unfortunately for [her]_{129-katharine} composure , [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} and [his]_{348-mr. basnett} papers seemed to [her]_175-mary an incidental diversion of life ’s serious purpose compared with some tremendous fact which manifested itself as [she]_175-mary stood alone with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . It may have been [their]_5256-their common womanhood . “_[2349-you] Have [you]_2349-you seen [Ralph]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked suddenly , without preface . “_[154-ralph] Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} directly , but [she]_{129-katharine} did not remember when or where [she]_{129-katharine} had seen [him]_154-ralph . It took [her]_{129-katharine} a moment or two to remember why [Mary]_175-mary should ask [her]_{129-katharine} if [she]_{129-katharine} had seen [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i ’m jealous , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[0-i] Nonsense , [Mary]_175-mary , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , rather distractedly , taking [her]_175-mary arm and beginning to walk up [the street]_{397-the street} in the direction of [the main road]_{3796-the main road} . “_[175-mary] Let [me]_0-i see ; [we]_2351-we went to [Kew]_330-kew , and [we]_2351-we agreed to be [friends]_4133-friends . Yes , that ’s what happened . ” [Mary]_175-mary was silent , in the hope that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would tell [her]_175-mary more . But [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said nothing . “_[175-mary] It ’s not a question of friendship , ” [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed , [her]_175-mary anger rising , to [her]_175-mary own surprise . “_[2353-you] [You]_2353-you know it ’s not . How can it be ? [I]_0-i ’ve no right to interfere — ” [She]_0-i stopped . “_[0-i] Only [I]_0-i ’d rather [Ralph]_154-ralph was n’t hurt , ” [she]_0-i concluded . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i think [he]_154-ralph seems able to take care of [himself]_154-ralph , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} observed . Without either of [them]_5270-them wishing it , a feeling of hostility had risen between [them]_5270-them . “_[0-i] Do [you]_2353-you really think it ’s worth it ? ” said [Mary]_175-mary , after a pause . “_[2353-you] How can [one]_422-one tell ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[422-one] Have [you]_2353-you ever cared for [any one]_{2939-any one} ? ” [Mary]_175-mary demanded rashly and foolishly . “_[422-one] [I]_0-i ca n’t wander about [London]_2-london discussing [my]_0-i feelings — Here ’s [a cab]_{3079-a cab} — no , there ’s some one in it . ” “_[2357-we] [We]_2357-we do n’t want to quarrel , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[2357-we] Ought [I]_0-i to have told [him]_154-ralph that [I]_0-i would n’t be [[his]_154-ralph friend]_{2358-his friend} ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[0-i] Shall [I]_0-i tell [him]_154-ralph that ? If so , what reason shall [I]_0-i give [him]_154-ralph ? ” “_[0-i] Of course [you]_2353-you ca n’t tell [him]_154-ralph that , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , controlling [herself]_175-mary . “_[2353-you] [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i shall , though , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} suddenly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i lost [my]_0-i temper , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [I]_0-i should n’t have said what [I]_0-i did . ” “_[0-i] The whole thing ’s foolish , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , peremptorily . “_[0-i] That ’s what [I]_0-i say . It ’s not worth it . ” [She]_0-i spoke with unnecessary vehemence , but it was not directed against [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [Their]_5271-they animosity had completely disappeared , and upon both of [them]_5271-they a cloud of difficulty and darkness rested , obscuring the future , in which [they]_5271-they had both to find a way . “_[0-i] No , no , it ’s not worth it , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . “_[0-i] Suppose , as [you]_2353-you say , it ’s out of the question — this friendship ; [he]_154-ralph falls in love with [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i do n’t want that . Still , ” [she]_0-i added , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_2353-you exaggerate ; love ’s not everything ; marriage itself is only one of the things — ” [They]_5271-they had reached [the main thoroughfare]_{5272-the main thoroughfare} , and stood looking at [the omnibuses]_{386-the omnibuses} and [passers - by]_{5274-passers - by} , who seemed , for the moment , to illustrate what [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had said of the diversity of human interests . For both of [them]_5271-they it had become one of those moments of extreme detachment , when it seems unnecessary ever again to shoulder the burden of happiness and self - assertive existence . [[Their]_5271-they neighbors]_{5275-their neighbors} were welcome to [their]_5271-they possessions . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t lay down any rules , ” ’ said [Mary]_175-mary , recovering [herself]_0-i first , as [they]_5271-they turned after a long pause of this description . “_[0-i] All [I]_0-i say is that [you]_2353-you should know what [you]_2353-you ’re about — for certain ; but , ” [she]_0-i added , “_[2353-you] [I]_0-i expect [you]_2353-you do . ” At the same time [she]_175-mary was profoundly perplexed , not only by what [she]_175-mary knew of the arrangements for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s marriage , but by the impression which [she]_175-mary had of [her]_{129-katharine} , there on [her]_175-mary arm , dark and inscrutable . [They]_5271-they walked back again and reached the steps which led up to [[Mary]_175-mary ’s flat]_{5276-mary ’s flat} . Here [they]_5271-they stopped and paused for a moment , saying nothing . “_[2353-you] [You]_2353-you must go in , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , rousing [herself]_{129-katharine} . “_[2359-he] [He]_2359-he ’s waiting all this time to go on with [his]_2359-he reading . ” [She]_{129-katharine} glanced up at the lighted window near the top of [the house]_{377-the house} , and [they]_5271-they both looked at it and waited for a moment . A flight of semicircular steps ran up to [the hall]_{3431-the hall} , and [Mary]_175-mary slowly mounted the first two or three , and paused , looking down upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[2359-he] [I]_0-i think [you]_2353-you underrate the value of that emotion , ” [she]_0-i said slowly , and a little awkwardly . [She]_175-mary climbed another step and looked down once more upon the figure that was only partly lit up , standing in [the street]_{397-the street} with a colorless face turned upwards . As [Mary]_175-mary hesitated , [a cab]_{3079-a cab} came by and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned and stopped [it]_{3079-a cab} , saying as [she]_0-i opened the door : “_[2353-you] Remember , [I]_0-i want to belong to [[your]_2353-you society]_{2360-your society} — remember , ” [she]_0-i added , having to raise [her]_0-i voice a little , and shutting the door upon the rest of [her]_0-i words . [Mary]_175-mary mounted the stairs step by step , as if [she]_175-mary had to lift [her]_175-mary body up an extremely steep ascent . [She]_175-mary had had to wrench [herself]_175-mary forcibly away from [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and every step vanquished [her]_175-mary desire . [She]_175-mary held on grimly , encouraging [herself]_175-mary as though [she]_175-mary were actually making some great physical effort in climbing a height . [She]_175-mary was conscious that [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} , sitting at the top of the stairs with [his]_{348-mr. basnett} documents , offered [her]_175-mary solid footing if [she]_175-mary were capable of reaching it . The knowledge gave [her]_175-mary a faint sense of exaltation . [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} raised [his]_{348-mr. basnett} eyes as [she]_175-mary opened the door . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll go on where [I]_0-i left off , ” [he]_{348-mr. basnett} said . “_[0-i] Stop [me]_0-i if [you]_2361-you want anything explained . ” [He]_{348-mr. basnett} had been re - reading the document , and making pencil notes in the margin while [he]_{348-mr. basnett} waited , and [he]_{348-mr. basnett} went on again as if there had been no interruption . [Mary]_175-mary sat down among the flat cushions , lit another cigarette , and listened with a frown upon [her]_175-mary face . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} leant back in the corner of the cab that carried [her]_{129-katharine} to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea , conscious of fatigue , and conscious , too , of the sober and satisfactory nature of such industry as [she]_{129-katharine} had just witnessed . The thought of it composed and calmed [her]_{129-katharine} . When [she]_{129-katharine} reached [home]_2992-home [she]_{129-katharine} let [herself]_{129-katharine} in as quietly as [she]_{129-katharine} could , in the hope that [the household]_{791-the household} was already gone to bed . But [her]_{129-katharine} excursion had occupied less time than [she]_{129-katharine} thought , and [she]_{129-katharine} heard sounds of unmistakable liveliness [upstairs]_523-upstairs . A door opened , and [she]_{129-katharine} drew [herself]_{129-katharine} into [a ground - floor room]_{5284-a ground - floor room} in case the sound meant that [Mr. Peyton]_{342-mr. peyton} were taking [his]_{342-mr. peyton} leave . From where [she]_{129-katharine} stood [she]_{129-katharine} could see the stairs , though [she]_{129-katharine} was [herself]_{129-katharine} invisible . [Some one]_{376-some one} was coming down [the stairs]_{5286-the stairs} , and now [she]_{129-katharine} saw that it was [William Rodney]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney looked a little strange , as if [he]_176-rodney were walking in [his]_176-rodney sleep ; [his]_176-rodney lips moved as if [he]_176-rodney were acting some part to [himself]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney came down very slowly , step by step , with one hand upon the banisters to guide [himself]_176-rodney . [She]_{129-katharine} thought [he]_176-rodney looked as if [he]_176-rodney were in some mood of high exaltation , which it made [her]_{129-katharine} uncomfortable to witness any longer unseen . [She]_{129-katharine} stepped into [the hall]_{3431-the hall} . [He]_176-rodney gave a great start upon seeing [her]_{129-katharine} and stopped . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve been out ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked . “_{[129-katharine]} Yes .... Are [they]_2362-they still up ? ” [He]_176-rodney did not answer , and walked into [the ground - floor room]_{5288-the ground - floor room} through the door which stood open . “_[2362-they] It ’s been more wonderful than [I]_0-i can tell [you]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney said , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m incredibly happy — ” [He]_176-rodney was scarcely addressing [her]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} said nothing . For a moment [they]_5289-they stood at opposite sides of a table saying nothing . Then [he]_176-rodney asked [her]_{129-katharine} quickly , “_[0-i] But tell [me]_0-i , how did it seem to [you]_{129-katharine} ? What did [you]_{129-katharine} think , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? Is there a chance that [she]_2363-she likes [me]_0-i ? Tell [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” Before [she]_{129-katharine} could answer a door opened on [the landing above]_{5290-the landing above} and disturbed [them]_5289-they . It disturbed [William]_176-rodney excessively . [He]_176-rodney started back , walked rapidly into [the hall]_{3431-the hall} , and said in a loud and ostentatiously ordinary tone : “_{[129-katharine]} Good night , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Go to bed now . [I]_0-i shall see [you]_{129-katharine} soon . [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i shall be able to come to - morrow . ” Next moment [he]_176-rodney was gone . [She]_{129-katharine} went [upstairs]_523-upstairs and found [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} on [the landing]_{571-the landing} . [She]_{303-cassandra} held two or three books in [her]_{303-cassandra} hand , and [she]_{303-cassandra} was stooping to look at [others]_1056-others in a little bookcase . [She]_{303-cassandra} said that [she]_{303-cassandra} could never tell which book [she]_{303-cassandra} wanted to read in bed , poetry , biography , or metaphysics . “_[0-i] What do [you]_{129-katharine} read in bed , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} asked , as [they]_5295-they walked [upstairs]_523-upstairs side by side . “_{[129-katharine]} Sometimes one thing — sometimes another , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} vaguely . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} looked at [her]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} D’you know , [you]_{129-katharine} ’re extraordinarily queer , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said . “_{[129-katharine]} [Every one]_{3109-every one} seems to [me]_0-i a little queer . Perhaps it ’s the effect of [London]_2-london . ” “_{[129-katharine]} Is [William]_176-rodney queer , too ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[176-rodney] Well , [I]_0-i think [he]_176-rodney is a little , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied . “_[176-rodney] Queer , but very fascinating . [I]_0-i shall read [Milton]_171-milton to - night . It ’s been one of the happiest nights of [my]_0-i life , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i added , looking with shy devotion at [[her]_0-i cousin]_{4022-her cousin} ’s beautiful face . [London]_2-london , in the first days of spring , has buds that open and flowers that suddenly shake their petals — white , purple , or crimson — in competition with the display in the garden beds , although these city flowers are merely so many doors flung wide in [Bond Street]_{77-bond street} and [the neighborhood]_{5298-the neighborhood} , inviting [you]_5299-you to look at a picture , or hear a symphony , or merely crowd and crush [yourself]_5299-you among [all sorts of vocal , excitable , brightly colored human beings]_{5300-all sorts of vocal , excitable , brightly colored human beings} . But , all the same , it is no mean rival to the quieter process of vegetable florescence . Whether or not there is a generous motive at the root , a desire to share and impart , or whether the animation is purely that of insensate fervor and friction , the effect , while it lasts , certainly encourages [those who are young]_{5301-those who are young} , and [those who are ignorant]_{5302-those who are ignorant} , to think [the world]_{478-the world} one great bazaar , with banners fluttering and divans heaped with spoils from every quarter of the globe for [their]_{5302-those who are ignorant} delight . As [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} went about [London]_2-london provided with shillings that opened turnstiles , or more often with large white cards that disregarded turnstiles , [the city]_{3152-the city} seemed to [her]_{303-cassandra} [the most lavish and hospitable of [hosts]_5306-hosts]_{5305-the most lavish and hospitable of hosts} . After visiting [the National Gallery]_{3540-the national gallery} , or [[Hertford]_{5308-hertford} House]_{5309-hertford house} , or hearing Brahms or [Beethoven]_{349-beethoven} at [the Bechstein Hall]_{5310-the bechstein hall} , [she]_{303-cassandra} would come back to find [a new person awaiting [her]_{303-cassandra} , in whose soul were imbedded some grains of the invaluable substance which [she]_{303-cassandra} still called reality , and still believed that [she]_{303-cassandra} could find]_{5311-a new person awaiting her , in whose soul were imbedded some grains of the invaluable substance which she still called reality , and still believed that she could find} . [The Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} , as the saying is , “_{[129-katharine]} knew [every one]_{3109-every one} , ” and that arrogant claim was certainly upheld by the number of houses which , within [a certain area]_{5312-a certain area} , lit [their]_5313-their lamps at night , opened [their]_5313-their doors after 3 p. m. , and admitted [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} to [[their]_5313-their dining - rooms]_{5314-their dining - rooms} , say , once a month . An indefinable freedom and authority of manner , shared by [most of [the people who lived in [these houses]_{5317-these houses}]_{5316-the people who lived in these houses}]_{5315-most of the people who lived in these houses} , seemed to indicate that whether it was a question of art , music , or government , [they]_{5315-most of the people who lived in these houses} were well within the gates , and could smile indulgently at the vast mass of humanity which is forced to wait and struggle , and pay for entrance with common coin at the door . The gates opened instantly to admit [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_{303-cassandra} was naturally critical of what went on inside , and inclined to quote what [Henry]_333-henry would have said ; but [she]_{303-cassandra} often succeeded in contradicting [Henry]_333-henry , in [his]_333-henry absence , and invariably paid [[her]_{303-cassandra} partner]_{5318-her partner} at dinner , or [the kind old lady who remembered [[her]_{303-cassandra} grandmother]_{5320-her grandmother} , the compliment of believing that there was meaning in what [they]_{5315-most of the people who lived in these houses} said]_{5319-the kind old lady who remembered her grandmother , the compliment of believing that there was meaning in what they said} . For the sake of the light in [her]_{303-cassandra} eager eyes , much crudity of expression and some untidiness of [person]_5321-person were forgiven [her]_{303-cassandra} . It was generally felt that , given a year or two of experience , introduced to [good dressmakers , and preserved from bad influences]_{5322-good dressmakers , and preserved from bad influences} , [she]_{303-cassandra} would be [an acquisition]_{5323-an acquisition} . [Those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of [ballrooms]_{5325-ballrooms} sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon [their]_{5324-those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of ballrooms sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon their breasts} breasts]_{5324-those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of ballrooms sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon their breasts} , seem to represent some elemental force , such as the waves upon [the ocean of humanity]_{5326-the ocean of humanity} , concluded , a little smilingly , that [she]_{303-cassandra} would do . [They]_{5324-those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of ballrooms sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon their breasts} meant that [she]_{303-cassandra} would in all probability marry [some young man whose mother [they]_{5324-those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of ballrooms sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon their breasts} respected]_{5327-some young man whose mother they respected} . [William Rodney]_176-rodney was fertile in suggestions . [He]_176-rodney knew of [little galleries]_{5328-little galleries} , and select concerts , and private performances , and somehow made time to meet [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and to give [them]_{5324-those elderly ladies , who sit on the edge of ballrooms sampling the stuff of humanity between finger and thumb and breathing so evenly that the necklaces , which rise and fall upon their breasts} tea or dinner or supper in [[his]_176-rodney rooms]_{985-his rooms} afterwards . Each one of [her]_{303-cassandra} fourteen days thus promised to bear some bright illumination in its sober text . But Sunday approached . The day is usually dedicated to Nature . The weather was almost kindly enough for an expedition . But [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} rejected [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} , [Greenwich]_94-greenwich , [Richmond]_38-richmond , and [Kew]_330-kew in favor of [the Zoological Gardens]_{5330-the zoological gardens} . [She]_{303-cassandra} had once trifled with the psychology of animals , and still knew something about inherited characteristics . On Sunday afternoon , therefore , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and [William Rodney]_176-rodney drove off to [the Zoo]_{5331-the zoo} . As [[their]_2366-they cab]_{5332-their cab} approached the entrance , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} bent forward and waved [her]_{129-katharine} hand to [a young man who was walking rapidly in the same direction]_{5333-a young man who was walking rapidly in the same direction} . “_{[129-katharine]} There ’s [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i told [him]_154-ralph to meet [us]_2366-they [here]_2985-here , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added . [She]_{129-katharine} had even come provided with a ticket for [him]_154-ralph . [William]_176-rodney ’s objection that [he]_176-rodney would not be admitted was , therefore , silenced directly . But the way in which [the two men]_{5334-the two men} greeted [each other]_{451-each other} was significant of what was going to happen . As soon as [they]_2366-they had admired the little birds in the large cage [William]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} lagged behind , and [Ralph]_154-ralph and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} pressed on rather in advance . It was an arrangement in which [William]_176-rodney took [his]_176-rodney part , and one that suited [his]_176-rodney convenience , but [he]_176-rodney was annoyed all the same . [He]_176-rodney thought that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} should have told [him]_176-rodney that [she]_{129-katharine} had invited [Denham]_154-ralph to meet [them]_2366-they . “_[0-i] [One of [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s friends]_{2369-katharine ’s friends}]_{2368-one of katharine ’s friends} , ” [he]_176-rodney said rather sharply . It was clear that [he]_176-rodney was irritated , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} felt for [his]_176-rodney annoyance . [They]_2366-they were standing by the pen of [some Oriental hog]_{5336-some oriental hog} , and [she]_{129-katharine} was prodding [the brute]_{5337-the brute} gently with the point of [her]_{129-katharine} umbrella , when a thousand little observations seemed , in some way , to collect in one center . The center was one of intense and curious emotion . Were [they]_2366-they happy ? [She]_{129-katharine} dismissed the question as [she]_{129-katharine} asked it , scorning [herself]_{129-katharine} for applying such simple measures to the rare and splendid emotions of [so unique a couple]_{5338-so unique a couple} . Nevertheless , [her]_{129-katharine} manner became immediately different , as if , for the first time , [she]_{129-katharine} felt consciously womanly , and as if [William]_176-rodney might conceivably wish later on to confide in [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} forgot all about the psychology of animals , and the recurrence of blue eyes and brown , and became instantly engrossed in [her]_{129-katharine} feelings as [a woman who could administer consolation]_{5339-a woman who could administer consolation} , and [she]_{129-katharine} hoped that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would keep ahead with [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , as [a child who plays at being grown - up]_{5340-a child who plays at being grown - up} hopes that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} wo n’t come in just yet , and spoil the game . Or was it not rather that [she]_{129-katharine} had ceased to play at being grown - up , and was conscious , suddenly , that [she]_{129-katharine} was alarmingly mature and in earnest ? There was still unbroken silence between [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , but [the occupants of the different cages]_{5342-the occupants of the different cages} served instead of speech . “_[0-i] What have [you]_2370-she been doing since [we]_2371-we met ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph asked at length . “_[2370-she] Doing ? ” [she]_2370-she pondered . “_[2370-she] Walking in and out of [[other people]_{2964-other people} ’s houses]_{2373-other people ’s houses} . [I]_0-i wonder if these animals are happy ? ” [she]_2370-she speculated , stopping before a gray bear , who was philosophically playing with a tassel which once , perhaps , formed part of [a lady]_{4354-a lady} ’s parasol . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m afraid [Rodney]_176-rodney did n’t like [my]_0-i coming , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph remarked . “_[176-rodney] No . But [he]_176-rodney ’ll soon get over that , ” [she]_2370-she replied . The detachment expressed by [her]_2370-she voice puzzled [Ralph]_154-ralph , and [he]_154-ralph would have been glad if [she]_2370-she had explained [her]_2370-she meaning further . But [he]_154-ralph was not going to press [her]_2370-she for explanations . Each moment was to be , as far as [he]_154-ralph could make it , complete in itself , owing nothing of its happiness to explanations , borrowing neither bright nor dark tints from the future . “_[176-rodney] The bears seem happy , ” [he]_154-ralph remarked . “_[176-rodney] But [we]_2374-we must buy [them]_2375-them a bag of something . There ’s [the place]_{4672-the place} to buy buns . Let ’s go and get them . ” [They]_2374-we walked to the counter piled with little paper bags , and each simultaneously produced a shilling and pressed it upon [the young lady]_{4923-the young lady} , who did not know whether to oblige [the lady]_{5345-the lady} or [the gentleman]_{5346-the gentleman} , but decided , from conventional reasons , that it was the part of [the gentleman to pay]_{5347-the gentleman to pay} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish to pay , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph peremptorily , refusing the coin which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} tendered . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have a reason for what [I]_0-i do , ” [he]_154-ralph added , seeing [her]_0-i smile at [his]_154-ralph tone of decision . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [you]_0-i have a reason for everything , ” [she]_0-i agreed , breaking the bun into parts and tossing them down the bears ’ throats , “_[0-i] but [I]_0-i ca n’t believe it ’s a good one this time . What is [your]_0-i reason ? ” [He]_154-ralph refused to tell [her]_0-i . [He]_154-ralph could not explain to [her]_0-i that [he]_154-ralph was offering up consciously all [his]_154-ralph happiness to [her]_0-i , and wished , absurdly enough , to pour every possession [he]_154-ralph had upon the blazing pyre , even [his]_154-ralph silver and gold . [He]_154-ralph wished to keep this distance between [them]_5348-them — the distance which separates [the devotee]_{5349-the devotee} from the image in [the shrine]_{5350-the shrine} . [Circumstances]_{350-circumstances} conspired to make this easier than it would have been , had [they]_5348-them been seated in [a drawing - room]_{556-a drawing - room} , for example , with a tea - tray between [them]_5348-them . [He]_154-ralph saw [her]_0-i against a background of pale grottos and sleek hides ; camels slanted [their]_5352-their heavy - ridded eyes at [her]_0-i , giraffes fastidiously observed [her]_0-i from [their]_5352-their melancholy eminence , and the pink - lined trunks of elephants cautiously abstracted buns from [her]_0-i outstretched hands . Then there were the hothouses . [He]_154-ralph saw [her]_0-i bending over pythons coiled upon the sand , or considering the brown rock breaking the stagnant water of [the alligators ’ pool]_{5353-the alligators ’ pool} , or searching [some minute section of tropical forest]_{5354-some minute section of tropical forest} for the golden eye of a lizard or the indrawn movement of the green frogs ’ flanks . In particular , [he]_154-ralph saw [her]_0-i outlined against [the deep green waters]_{5355-the deep green waters} , in which squadrons of silvery fish wheeled incessantly , or ogled [her]_0-i for a moment , pressing [their]_5348-them distorted mouths against the glass , quivering their tails straight out behind [them]_5348-them . Again , there was [the insect house]_{5356-the insect house} , where [she]_0-i lifted the blinds of [the little cages]_{5357-the little cages} , and marveled at the purple circles marked upon the rich tussore wings of some lately emerged and semi - conscious butterfly , or at caterpillars immobile like the knobbed twigs of a pale - skinned tree , or at slim green snakes stabbing the glass wall again and again with [their]_5348-them flickering cleft tongues . The heat of the air , and the bloom of heavy flowers , which swam in water or rose stiffly from great red jars , together with the display of curious patterns and fantastic shapes , produced an atmosphere in which [human beings]_{923-human beings} tended to look pale and to fall silent . Opening the door of [a house]_{1541-a house} which rang with the mocking and profoundly unhappy laughter of [monkeys]_5360-monkeys , [they]_2378-we discovered [William]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [William]_176-rodney appeared to be tempting some small reluctant animal to descend from an upper perch to partake of half an apple . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was reading out , in [her]_{303-cassandra} high - pitched tones , an account of this creature ’s secluded disposition and nocturnal habits . [She]_{303-cassandra} saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and exclaimed : “_[0-i] Here [you]_2377-you are ! Do prevent [William]_176-rodney from torturing this unfortunate aye - aye . ” “_[2378-we] [We]_2378-we thought [we]_2378-we ’d lost [you]_2377-you , ” said [William]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney looked from one to the other , and seemed to take stock of [Denham]_154-ralph ’s unfashionable appearance . [He]_176-rodney seemed to wish to find some outlet for malevolence , but , failing one , [he]_176-rodney remained silent . The glance , the slight quiver of the upper lip , were not lost upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[2378-we] [William]_176-rodney is n’t kind to animals , ” [she]_{129-katharine} remarked . “_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney does n’t know what [they]_2379-they like and what [they]_2379-they do n’t like . ” “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i take it [you]_0-i ’re well versed in these matters , [Denham]_154-ralph , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney , withdrawing [his]_176-rodney hand with the apple . “_[0-i] It ’s mainly a question of knowing how to stroke them , ” [Denham]_154-ralph replied . “_[176-rodney] Which is the way to [the Reptile House]_{2380-the reptile house} ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asked [him]_176-rodney , not from a genuine desire to visit the reptiles , but in obedience to [her]_{303-cassandra} new - born feminine susceptibility , which urged [her]_{303-cassandra} to charm and conciliate [the other sex]_{5361-the other sex} . [Denham]_154-ralph began to give [her]_{303-cassandra} directions , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [William]_176-rodney moved on together . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [you]_2381-you ’ve had a pleasant afternoon , ” [William]_176-rodney remarked . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i like [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[154-ralph] Ca se voit , ” [William]_176-rodney returned , with superficial urbanity . Many retorts were obvious , but wishing , on the whole , for peace , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} merely inquired : “_[154-ralph] Are [you]_0-i coming back to tea ? ” “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} and [I]_0-i thought of having tea at [a little shop in [Portland Place]_{95-portland place}]_{2382-a little shop in portland place} , ” [he]_176-rodney replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know whether [you]_2381-you and [Denham]_154-ralph would care to join [us]_2383-us . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll ask [him]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i replied , turning [her]_0-i head to look for [him]_154-ralph . But [he]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} were absorbed in the aye - aye once more . [William]_176-rodney and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} watched [them]_2383-us for a moment , and [each]_3310-each looked curiously at the object of [the other]_{1230-the other} ’s preference . But resting [his]_176-rodney eye upon [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , to whose elegance [the dressmakers]_{5364-the dressmakers} had now done justice , [William]_176-rodney said sharply : “_[0-i] If [you]_2381-you come , [I]_0-i hope [you]_2381-you wo n’t do [your]_2381-you best to make [me]_0-i ridiculous . ” “_[2381-you] If that ’s what [you]_154-ralph ’re afraid of [I]_0-i certainly sha n’t come , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . [They]_2383-us were professedly looking into the enormous central cage of monkeys , and being thoroughly annoyed by [William]_176-rodney , [she]_{129-katharine} compared [him]_176-rodney to a wretched misanthropical ape , huddled in a scrap of old shawl at the end of a pole , darting peevish glances of suspicion and distrust at [[his]_176-rodney companions]_{5365-his companions} . [Her]_{129-katharine} tolerance was deserting [her]_{129-katharine} . The events of the past week had worn it thin . [She]_{129-katharine} was in one of those moods , perhaps not uncommon with either sex , when the other becomes very clearly distinguished , and of contemptible baseness , so that the necessity of association is degrading , and the tie , which at such moments is always extremely close , drags like a halter round the neck . [William]_176-rodney ’s exacting demands and [his]_176-rodney jealousy had pulled [her]_{129-katharine} down into some horrible swamp of [her]_{129-katharine} nature where the primeval struggle between [man]_5366-man and [woman]_3172-woman still rages . “_[0-i] [You]_2381-you seem to delight in hurting [me]_0-i , ” [William]_176-rodney persisted . “_[2381-you] Why did [you]_2381-you say that just now about [my]_0-i behavior to animals ? ” As [he]_176-rodney spoke [he]_176-rodney rattled [his]_176-rodney stick against the bars of the cage , which gave [his]_176-rodney words an accompaniment peculiarly exasperating to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s nerves . “_[2381-you] Because it ’s true . [You]_0-i never see what [any one]_{2939-any one} feels , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i think of [no one]_{2921-no one} but [yourself]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] That is not true , ” said [William]_176-rodney . By [his]_176-rodney determined rattling [he]_176-rodney had now collected the animated attention of [some half - dozen apes]_{5368-some half - dozen apes} . Either to propitiate [them]_{5368-some half - dozen apes} , or to show [his]_176-rodney consideration for [their]_{5368-some half - dozen apes} feelings , [he]_176-rodney proceeded to offer [them]_{5368-some half - dozen apes} the apple which [he]_176-rodney held . The sight , unfortunately , was so comically apt in its illustration of the picture in [her]_{129-katharine} mind , the ruse was so transparent , that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was seized with laughter . [She]_{129-katharine} laughed uncontrollably . [William]_176-rodney flushed red . No display of anger could have hurt [his]_176-rodney feelings more profoundly . It was not only that [she]_{129-katharine} was laughing at [him]_176-rodney ; the detachment of the sound was horrible . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know what [you]_2386-you ’re laughing at , ” [he]_176-rodney muttered , and , turning , found that [the other couple]_{5369-the other couple} had rejoined [them]_{5369-the other couple} . As if the matter had been privately agreed upon , [the couples]_{5370-the couples} separated once more , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Denham]_154-ralph passing out of [the house]_{377-the house} without more than a perfunctory glance round [them]_{5369-the other couple} . [Denham]_154-ralph obeyed what seemed to be [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s wish in thus making haste . Some change had come over [her]_{129-katharine} . [He]_154-ralph connected it with [her]_{129-katharine} laughter , and [her]_{129-katharine} few words in private with [Rodney]_176-rodney ; [he]_154-ralph felt that [she]_{129-katharine} had become unfriendly to [him]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} talked , but [her]_{129-katharine} remarks were indifferent , and when [he]_154-ralph spoke [her]_{129-katharine} attention seemed to wander . This change of mood was at first extremely disagreeable to [him]_154-ralph ; but soon [he]_154-ralph found it salutary . The pale drizzling atmosphere of the day affected [him]_154-ralph , also . The charm , the insidious magic in which [he]_154-ralph had luxuriated , were suddenly gone ; [his]_154-ralph feeling had become one of friendly respect , and to [his]_154-ralph great pleasure [he]_154-ralph found [himself]_154-ralph thinking spontaneously of the relief of finding [himself]_154-ralph alone in [[his]_154-ralph room]_{521-his room} that night . In [his]_154-ralph surprise at the suddenness of the change , and at the extent of [his]_154-ralph freedom , [he]_154-ralph bethought [him]_154-ralph of a daring plan , by which the ghost of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could be more effectually exorcised than by mere abstinence . [He]_154-ralph would ask [her]_{129-katharine} to come [home]_2992-home with [him]_154-ralph to tea . [He]_154-ralph would force [her]_{129-katharine} through the mill of family life ; [he]_154-ralph would place [her]_{129-katharine} in a light unsparing and revealing . [[His]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} would find nothing to admire in [her]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} , [he]_154-ralph felt certain , would despise [them]_{547-his family} all , and this , too , would help [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph becoming more and more merciless towards [her]_{129-katharine} . By such courageous measures [any one]_{2939-any one} , [he]_154-ralph thought , could end the absurd passions which were the cause of so much pain and waste . [He]_154-ralph could foresee a time when [his]_154-ralph experiences , [his]_154-ralph discovery , and [his]_154-ralph triumph were made available for [younger brothers who found [themselves]_{5376-younger brothers who found themselves in the same predicament} in the same predicament]_{5376-younger brothers who found themselves in the same predicament} . [He]_154-ralph looked at [his]_154-ralph watch , and remarked that [the gardens]_{5053-the gardens} would soon be closed . “_[2386-you] Anyhow , ” [he]_154-ralph added , “_[2386-you] [I]_0-i think [we]_2387-we ’ve seen enough for one afternoon . Where have [the others]_{1091-the others} got to ? ” [He]_154-ralph looked over [his]_154-ralph shoulder , and , seeing no trace of [them]_{1091-the others} , remarked at once : “_[2387-we] [We]_2387-we ’d better be independent of [them]_{1091-the others} . The best plan will be for [you]_2389-she to come back to tea with [me]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Why should n’t [you]_0-i come with [me]_0-i ? ” [she]_2389-she asked . “_[0-i] Because [we]_2387-we ’re next door to [Highgate]_6-highgate here , ” [he]_154-ralph replied promptly . [She]_2389-she assented , having very little notion whether [Highgate]_6-highgate was next door to [Regent ’s Park]_{96-regent ’s park} or not . [She]_2389-she was only glad to put off [her]_2389-she return to the family tea - table in [Chelsea]_10-chelsea for an hour or two . [They]_2387-we proceeded with dogged determination through [the winding roads of [Regent ’s Park]_{96-regent ’s park}]_{5378-the winding roads of regent ’s park} , and [the Sunday - stricken streets of [the neighborhood]_{5298-the neighborhood}]_{5379-the sunday - stricken streets of the neighborhood} , in the direction of [the Tube station]_{4568-the tube station} . Ignorant of the way , [she]_2389-she resigned [herself]_2389-she entirely to [him]_154-ralph , and found [his]_154-ralph silence a convenient cover beneath which to continue [her]_2389-she anger with [Rodney]_176-rodney . When [they]_2387-we stepped out of [the train]_{510-the train} into the still grayer gloom of [Highgate]_6-highgate , [she]_2389-she wondered , for the first time , where [he]_154-ralph was taking [her]_2389-she . Had [he]_154-ralph [a family]_{569-a family} , or did [he]_154-ralph live alone in [rooms]_3471-rooms ? On the whole [she]_2389-she was inclined to believe that [he]_154-ralph was [the only son of [an aged , and possibly invalid , mother]_{5386-an aged , and possibly invalid , mother}]_{5385-the only son of an aged , and possibly invalid , mother} . [She]_2389-she sketched lightly , upon the blank vista down which [they]_2387-we walked , [the little white house]_{5387-the little white house} and [the tremulous old lady rising from behind [her]_0-i tea - table]_{5388-the tremulous old lady rising from behind her tea - table} to greet [her]_2389-she with faltering words about “_[0-i] [[[my]_0-i son]_{2390-my son} ’s friends]_{2391-my son ’s friends} , ” and was on the point of asking [Ralph]_154-ralph to tell [her]_2389-she what [she]_2389-she might expect , when [he]_154-ralph jerked open one of the infinite number of identical wooden doors , and led [her]_2389-she up [a tiled path]_{5389-a tiled path} to [a porch in the Alpine style of architecture]_{5390-a porch in the alpine style of architecture} . As [they]_2394-they listened to the shaking of the bell in [the basement]_{5391-the basement} , [she]_2389-she could summon no vision to replace the one so rudely destroyed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must warn [you]_2392-you to expect a family party , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[2393-they] [They]_2393-they ’re mostly in on Sundays . [We]_2394-they can go to [[my]_0-i room]_{3618-my room} afterwards . ” “_[0-i] Have [you]_0-i many [brothers]_{2206-brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters ? ” [she]_2389-she asked , without concealing [her]_2389-she dismay . “_{[516-sisters]} Six or seven , ” [he]_154-ralph replied grimly , as the door opened . While [Ralph]_154-ralph took off [his]_154-ralph coat , [she]_2389-she had time to notice the ferns and photographs and draperies , and to hear a hum , or rather a babble , of voices talking each other down , from the sound of [them]_2393-they . The rigidity of extreme shyness came over [her]_2389-she . [She]_2389-she kept as far behind [Denham]_154-ralph as [she]_2389-she could , and walked stiffly after [him]_154-ralph into [a room blazing with unshaded lights]_{5392-a room blazing with unshaded lights} , which fell upon a number of people , of different ages , sitting round a large dining - room table untidily strewn with food , and unflinchingly lit up by incandescent gas . [Ralph]_154-ralph walked straight to the far end of the table . “_{[516-sisters]} [Mother]_2916-mother , this is [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph said . [A large elderly lady , bent over an unsatisfactory spirit - lamp]_{5393-a large elderly lady , bent over an unsatisfactory spirit - lamp} , looked up with a little frown , and observed : “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i beg [your]_2399-you pardon . [I]_0-i thought [you]_2399-you were [one of [[my]_0-i own girls]_{2401-my own girls}]_{2400-one of my own girls} . [Dorothy]_{172-wordsworth} , ” [she]_0-i continued on the same breath , to catch [the servant]_{5394-the servant} before [she]_0-i left [the room]_{379-the room} , “_{[172-wordsworth]} [we]_2402-we shall want some more methylated spirits — unless the lamp itself is out of order . If one of [you]_2399-you could invent a good spirit - lamp — ” [she]_0-i sighed , looking generally down the table , and then began seeking among the china before [her]_0-i for two clean cups for [the new - comers]_{5396-the new - comers} . The unsparing light revealed more ugliness than [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had seen in [one room]_{5000-one room} for a very long time . It was the ugliness of enormous folds of brown material , looped and festooned , of plush curtains , from which depended balls and fringes , partially concealing bookshelves swollen with black school - texts . [Her]_0-i eye was arrested by crossed scabbards of fretted wood upon the dull green wall , and whereever there was a high flat eminence , some fern waved from a pot of crinkled china , or a bronze horse reared so high that the stump of a tree had to sustain [his]_{5394-the servant} forequarters . The waters of family life seemed to rise and close over [her]_0-i head , and [she]_0-i munched in silence . At length [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} looked up from [her]_0-i teacups and remarked : “_[2399-you] [You]_{172-wordsworth} see , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , [[my]_0-i children]_{1788-my children} all come in at different hours and want different things . ( The tray should go up if [you]_{172-wordsworth} ’ve done , [Johnnie]_352-johnnie . ) [[My]_0-i boy]_{2404-my boy} [Charles]_157-charles is in bed with a cold . What else can [you]_{172-wordsworth} expect?—standing in the wet playing football . [We]_2405-we did try drawing - room tea , but it did n’t do . ” [A boy of sixteen]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} , who appeared to be [Johnnie]_352-johnnie , grumbled derisively both at the notion of drawing - room tea and at the necessity of carrying a tray up to [[his]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} brother]_{4282-his brother} . But [he]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} took [himself]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} off , being enjoined by [[his]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} mother]_{538-his mother} to mind what [he]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} was doing , and shut the door after [him]_{5398-a boy of sixteen} . “_[2405-we] It ’s much nicer like this , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , applying [herself]_{129-katharine} with determination to the dissection of [her]_{129-katharine} cake ; [they]_2405-we had given [her]_{129-katharine} too large a slice . [She]_{129-katharine} knew that [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} suspected [her]_{129-katharine} of critical comparisons . [She]_{129-katharine} knew that [she]_{129-katharine} was making poor progress with [her]_{129-katharine} cake . [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} had looked at [her]_{129-katharine} sufficiently often to make it clear to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{351-mrs. denham} was asking who [this young woman]_{5401-this young woman} was , and why [Ralph]_154-ralph had brought [her]_{129-katharine} to tea with [them]_2405-we . There was an obvious reason , which [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} had probably reached by this time . Outwardly , [she]_{351-mrs. denham} was behaving with rather rusty and laborious civility . [She]_{351-mrs. denham} was making conversation about the amenities of [Highgate]_6-highgate , [its]_6-highgate development and situation . “_[2405-we] When [I]_0-i first married , ” [she]_{351-mrs. denham} said , “_[0-i] [Highgate]_6-highgate was quite separate from [London]_2-london , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , and [this house]_{1045-this house} , though [you]_2407-you would n’t believe [it]_{1045-this house} , had a view of [apple orchards]_{2408-apple orchards} . That was before [the Middletons]_{305-the middletons} built [[their]_{305-the middletons} house in front of [us]_2410-us]_{2409-their house in front of us} . ” “_{[305-the middletons]} It must be a great advantage to live at [the top of [a hill]_{2412-a hill}]_{2411-the top of a hill} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} agreed effusively , as if [her]_{351-mrs. denham} opinion of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s sense had risen . “_{[305-the middletons]} Yes , indeed , [we]_2410-us find it very healthy , ” [she]_{351-mrs. denham} said , and [she]_{351-mrs. denham} went on , as [people who live in [the suburbs]_{5403-the suburbs} so often do , to prove that it was healthier , more convenient , and less spoilt than [any suburb round [London]_2-london]_{5404-any suburb round london}]_{5402-people who live in the suburbs so often do , to prove that it was healthier , more convenient , and less spoilt than any suburb round london} . [She]_{351-mrs. denham} spoke with such emphasis that it was quite obvious that [she]_{351-mrs. denham} expressed unpopular views , and that [[her]_{351-mrs. denham} children]_{4156-her children} disagreed with [her]_{351-mrs. denham} . “_[2410-us] The ceiling ’s fallen down in the pantry again , ” said [Hester]_353-hester , [a girl of eighteen]_{5406-a girl of eighteen} , abruptly . “_[2410-us] [The whole house]_{2413-the whole house} will be down one of these days , ” [James]_337-james muttered . “_[2410-us] Nonsense , ” said [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} . “_[2410-us] It ’s only a little bit of plaster — [I]_0-i do n’t see how [any house]_{2414-any house} could be expected to stand the wear and tear [you]_2415-you give [it]_{2413-the whole house} . ” Here some family joke exploded , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could not follow . Even [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} laughed against [her]_{351-mrs. denham} will . “_{[129-katharine]} [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} ’s thinking [us]_2416-us all so rude , ” [she]_{351-mrs. denham} added reprovingly . [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} smiled and shook [her]_{129-katharine} head , and was conscious that a great many eyes rested upon [her]_{351-mrs. denham} , for a moment , as if [they]_{4156-her children} would find pleasure in discussing [her]_{351-mrs. denham} when [she]_{351-mrs. denham} was gone . Owing , perhaps , to this critical glance , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} decided that [[Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ’s family]_{5407-ralph denham ’s family} was commonplace , unshapely , lacking in charm , and fitly expressed by the hideous nature of [their]_{5407-ralph denham ’s family} furniture and decorations . [She]_{129-katharine} glanced along a mantelpiece ranged with bronze chariots , silver vases , and china ornaments that were either facetious or eccentric . [She]_{129-katharine} did not apply [her]_{129-katharine} judgment consciously to [Ralph]_154-ralph , but when [she]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_154-ralph , a moment later , [she]_{129-katharine} rated [him]_154-ralph lower than at any other time of [their]_2416-us acquaintanceship . [He]_154-ralph had made no effort to tide over the discomforts of [her]_{129-katharine} introduction , and now , engaged in argument with [[his]_154-ralph brother]_{4282-his brother} , apparently forgot [her]_{129-katharine} presence . [She]_{129-katharine} must have counted upon [his]_154-ralph support more than [she]_{129-katharine} realized , for this indifference , emphasized , as it was , by the insignificant commonplace of [his]_154-ralph surroundings , awoke [her]_{129-katharine} , not only to that ugliness , but to [her]_{129-katharine} own folly . [She]_{129-katharine} thought of one scene after another in a few seconds , with that shudder which is almost a blush . [She]_{129-katharine} had believed [him]_154-ralph when [he]_154-ralph spoke of friendship . [She]_{129-katharine} had believed in a spiritual light burning steadily and steadfastly behind the erratic disorder and incoherence of life . The light was now gone out , suddenly , as if a sponge had blotted it . The litter of the table and the tedious but exacting conversation of [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} remained : [they]_5409-they struck , indeed , upon a mind bereft of all defences , and , keenly conscious of the degradation which is the result of strife whether victorious or not , [she]_{129-katharine} thought gloomily of [her]_{129-katharine} loneliness , of life ’s futility , of the barren prose of reality , of [William Rodney]_176-rodney , of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , and the unfinished book . [Her]_{129-katharine} answers to [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} were perfunctory to the verge of rudeness , and to [Ralph]_154-ralph , who watched [her]_{129-katharine} narrowly , [she]_{129-katharine} seemed further away than was compatible with [her]_{129-katharine} physical closeness . [He]_154-ralph glanced at [her]_{129-katharine} , and ground out further steps in [his]_154-ralph argument , determined that no folly should remain when this experience was over . Next moment , a silence , sudden and complete , descended upon [them]_5409-they all . The silence of [all [these people]_{3047-these people} round the untidy table]_{5411-all these people round the untidy table} was enormous and hideous ; something horrible seemed about to burst from it , but [they]_5409-they endured it obstinately . A second later the door opened and there was a stir of relief ; cries of “_{[129-katharine]} Hullo , [Joan]_156-joan ! There ’s nothing left for [you]_156-joan to eat , ” broke up the oppressive concentration of so many eyes upon the table - cloth , and set the waters of family life dashing in brisk little waves again . It was obvious that [Joan]_156-joan had some mysterious and beneficent power upon [[her]_156-joan family]_{463-her family} . [She]_{129-katharine} went up to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as if [she]_{129-katharine} had heard of [her]_{129-katharine} , and was very glad to see [her]_{129-katharine} at last . [She]_{129-katharine} explained that [she]_{129-katharine} had been visiting [an uncle who was ill]_{5414-an uncle who was ill} , and that had kept [her]_{129-katharine} . No , [she]_{129-katharine} had n’t had any tea , but a slice of bread would do . [Some one]_{376-some one} handed up a hot cake , which had been keeping warm in the fender ; [she]_{129-katharine} sat down by [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s side , [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} ’s anxieties seemed to relax , and [every one]_{3109-every one} began eating and drinking , as if tea had begun over again . [Hester]_353-hester voluntarily explained to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [she]_353-hester was reading to pass some examination , because [she]_353-hester wanted more than anything in [the whole world]_{1384-the whole world} to go to [Newnham]_98-newnham . “_[156-joan] Now , just let [me]_0-i hear [you]_2417-her decline ‘ amo’—I love , ” [Johnnie]_352-johnnie demanded . “_[2417-her] No , [Johnnie]_352-johnnie , no Greek at meal - times , ” said [Joan]_156-joan , overhearing [him]_352-johnnie instantly . “_[2417-her] [She]_2417-her ’s up at all hours of the night over [her]_2417-her books , [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , and [I]_0-i ’m sure that ’s not the way to pass examinations , ” [she]_0-i went on , smiling at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with the worried humorous smile of [the elder sister whose [younger brothers and sisters]_{5420-younger brothers and sisters} have become almost like children of [her]_2417-her own]_{5419-the elder sister whose younger brothers and sisters have become almost like children of her own} . “_[0-i] [Joan]_156-joan , [you]_156-joan do n’t really think that ‘ amo ’ is Greek ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph asked . “_[156-joan] Did [I]_0-i say Greek ? Well , never mind . No dead languages at tea - time . [[My]_0-i dear boy]_{2418-my dear boy} , do n’t trouble to make [me]_0-i any toast — ” “_{[352-johnnie]} Or if [you]_352-johnnie do , surely there ’s the toasting - fork somewhere ? ” said [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} , still cherishing the belief that the bread - knife could be spoilt . “_{[352-johnnie]} Do one of [you]_352-johnnie ring and ask for one , ” [she]_{351-mrs. denham} said , without any conviction that [she]_{351-mrs. denham} would be obeyed . “_{[352-johnnie]} But is [Ann]_175-mary coming to be with [Uncle Joseph]_{155-uncle joseph} ? ” [she]_{351-mrs. denham} continued . “_[175-mary] If so , surely [they]_2419-they had better send [Amy]_354-amy to [us]_2420-us — ” and in the mysterious delight of learning further details of these arrangements , and suggesting more sensible plans of [her]_{351-mrs. denham} own , which , from the aggrieved way in which [she]_{351-mrs. denham} spoke , [she]_{351-mrs. denham} did not seem to expect [any one]_{2939-any one} to adopt , [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} completely forgot the presence of [a well - dressed visitor]_{5422-a well - dressed visitor} , who had to be informed about the amenities of [Highgate]_6-highgate . As soon as [Joan]_156-joan had taken [her]_156-joan seat , an argument had sprung up on either side of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as to whether [the Salvation Army]_{5423-the salvation army} has any right to play hymns at [street corners]_{5424-street corners} on Sunday mornings , thereby making it impossible for [James]_337-james to have [his]_337-james sleep out , and tampering with the rights of individual liberty . “_[354-amy] [You]_2421-you see , [James]_337-james likes to lie in bed and sleep like a hog , ” said [Johnnie]_352-johnnie , explaining [himself]_352-johnnie to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , whereupon [James]_337-james fired up and , making [her]_{129-katharine} [his]_337-james goal , also exclaimed : “_[337-james] Because Sundays are [my]_0-i one chance in the week of having [my]_0-i sleep out . [Johnnie]_352-johnnie messes with stinking chemicals in the pantry — ” [They]_5425-they appealed to [her]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} forgot [her]_{129-katharine} cake and began to laugh and talk and argue with sudden animation . [The large family]_{5426-the large family} seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} so warm and various that [she]_{129-katharine} forgot to censure [them]_{5426-the large family} for [their]_{5426-the large family} taste in pottery . But the personal question between [James]_337-james and [Johnnie]_352-johnnie merged into some argument already , apparently , debated , so that the parts had been distributed among [the family]_{667-the family} , in which [Ralph]_154-ralph took the lead ; and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found [herself]_{129-katharine} opposed to [him]_154-ralph and [the champion of [Johnnie]_352-johnnie ’s cause]_{5428-the champion of johnnie ’s cause} , who , it appeared , always lost [his]_154-ralph head and got excited in argument with [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_{[352-johnnie]} Yes , yes , that ’s what [I]_0-i mean . [She]_2422-she ’s got it right , ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed , after [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had restated [his]_154-ralph case , and made it more precise . The debate was left almost solely to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph . [They]_5429-they looked into [each other]_{451-each other} ’s eyes fixedly , like wrestlers trying to see what movement is coming next , and while [Ralph]_154-ralph spoke , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} bit [her]_{129-katharine} lower lip , and was always ready with [her]_{129-katharine} next point as soon as [he]_154-ralph had done . [They]_5429-they were very well matched , and held the opposite views . But at the most exciting stage of the argument , for no reason that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could see , all chairs were pushed back , and one after another [the Denham family]_{3726-the denham family} got up and went out of the door , as if a bell had summoned [them]_{3726-the denham family} . [She]_{129-katharine} was not used to the clockwork regulations of [a large family]_{553-a large family} . [She]_{129-katharine} hesitated in what [she]_{129-katharine} was saying , and rose . [Mrs. Denham]_{351-mrs. denham} and [Joan]_156-joan had drawn together and stood by the fireplace , slightly raising [their]_{3726-the denham family} skirts above [their]_{3726-the denham family} ankles , and discussing something which had an air of being very serious and very private . [They]_{3726-the denham family} appeared to have forgotten [her]_{129-katharine} presence among [them]_{3726-the denham family} . [Ralph]_154-ralph stood holding the door open for [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[2422-she] Wo n’t [you]_2423-you come up to [[my]_0-i room]_{3618-my room} ? ” [he]_154-ralph said . And [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , glancing back at [Joan]_156-joan , who smiled at [her]_{129-katharine} in a preoccupied way , followed [Ralph]_154-ralph [upstairs]_523-upstairs . [She]_{129-katharine} was thinking of [their]_5434-they argument , and when , after the long climb , [he]_154-ralph opened [his]_154-ralph door , [she]_{129-katharine} began at once . “_[2423-you] The question is , then , at what point is it right for [the individual]_{2425-the individual} to assert [his]_{2425-the individual} will against the will of the State . ” For some time [they]_5434-they continued the argument , and then the intervals between one statement and the next became longer and longer , and [they]_5434-they spoke more speculatively and less pugnaciously , and at last fell silent . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went over the argument in [her]_{129-katharine} mind , remembering how , now and then , it had been set conspicuously on the right course by some remark offered either by [James]_337-james or by [Johnnie]_352-johnnie . “_[2426-you] [[Your]_2426-you brothers]_{2427-your brothers} are very clever , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[2426-you] [I]_0-i suppose [you]_2426-you ’re in the habit of arguing ? ” “_[2426-you] [James]_337-james and [Johnnie]_352-johnnie will go on like that for hours , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied . “_{[352-johnnie]} So will [Hester]_353-hester , if [you]_2426-you start [her]_353-hester upon [Elizabethan dramatists]_{2428-elizabethan dramatists} . ” “_[353-hester] And [the little girl with the pigtail]_{2429-the little girl with the pigtail} ? ” “_[175-mary] [Molly]_175-mary ? [She]_175-mary ’s only ten . But [they]_2430-them ’re always arguing among [themselves]_2430-them . ” [He]_154-ralph was immensely pleased by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s praise of [[his]_154-ralph brothers]_{4783-his brothers} and [sisters]_516-sisters . [He]_154-ralph would have liked to go on telling [her]_{129-katharine} about [them]_2430-them , but [he]_154-ralph checked [himself]_154-ralph . “_[2430-them] [I]_0-i see that it must be difficult to leave [them]_2430-them , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} continued . [His]_154-ralph deep pride in [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} was more evident to [him]_154-ralph , at that moment , than ever before , and the idea of living alone in [a cottage]_{1205-a cottage} was ridiculous . All that brotherhood and sisterhood , and a common childhood in a common past mean , all the stability , the unambitious comradeship , and tacit understanding of family life at its best , came to [his]_154-ralph mind , and [he]_154-ralph thought of [them]_2430-them as a company , of which [he]_154-ralph was [the leader]_{5439-the leader} , bound on [a difficult , dreary , but glorious voyage]_{5440-a difficult , dreary , but glorious voyage} . And it was [Katharine]_{129-katharine} who had opened [his]_154-ralph eyes to this , [he]_154-ralph thought . A little dry chirp from the corner of [the room]_{379-the room} now roused [her]_{129-katharine} attention . “_[0-i] [My]_0-i tame rook , ” [he]_154-ralph explained briefly . “_[0-i] A cat had bitten one of its legs . ” [She]_{129-katharine} looked at the rook , and [her]_{129-katharine} eyes went from one object to another . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i sit here and read ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , [her]_{129-katharine} eyes resting upon [his]_154-ralph books . [He]_154-ralph said that [he]_154-ralph was in the habit of working [there]_2927-there at night . “_[0-i] The great advantage of [Highgate]_6-highgate is the view over [London]_2-london . At night the view from [my]_0-i window is splendid . ” [He]_154-ralph was extremely anxious that [she]_{129-katharine} should appreciate [his]_154-ralph view , and [she]_{129-katharine} rose to see what was to be seen . It was already dark enough for the turbulent haze to be yellow with the light of street lamps , and [she]_{129-katharine} tried to determine [the quarters of [the city]_{3152-the city} beneath [her]_{129-katharine}]_{5443-the quarters of the city beneath her} . The sight of [her]_{129-katharine} gazing from [his]_154-ralph window gave [him]_154-ralph a peculiar satisfaction . When [she]_{129-katharine} turned , at length , [he]_154-ralph was still sitting motionless in [his]_154-ralph chair . “_[0-i] It must be late , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must be going . ” [She]_{129-katharine} settled upon the arm of the chair irresolutely , thinking that [she]_{129-katharine} had no wish to go [home]_2992-home . [William]_176-rodney would be [there]_2927-there , and [he]_154-ralph would find some way of making things unpleasant for [her]_{129-katharine} , and the memory of [their]_5447-their quarrel came back to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} had noticed [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s coldness , too . [She]_{129-katharine} looked at [him]_154-ralph , and from [his]_154-ralph fixed stare [she]_{129-katharine} thought that [he]_154-ralph must be working out some theory , some argument . [He]_154-ralph had thought , perhaps , of some fresh point in [his]_154-ralph position , as to the bounds of personal liberty . [She]_{129-katharine} waited , silently , thinking about liberty . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ve won again , ” [he]_154-ralph said at last , without moving . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve won ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} repeated , thinking of the argument . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish to [God]_355-god [I]_0-i had n’t asked [you]_0-i here , ” [he]_154-ralph burst out . “_[0-i] What do [you]_0-i mean ? ” “_[0-i] When [you]_0-i ’re [here]_2985-here , it ’s different — [I’m]_2432-i’m happy . [You]_0-i ’ve only to walk to the window — [you’ve]_0-i only to talk about liberty . When [I]_0-i saw [you]_0-i down there among [them]_2433-them all — ” [He]_154-ralph stopped short . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i thought how ordinary [I]_0-i was . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i tried to think so . But [I]_0-i thought [you]_0-i more wonderful than ever . ” An immense relief , and a reluctance to enjoy that relief , conflicted in [her]_0-i heart . [She]_0-i slid down into the chair . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [you]_0-i disliked [me]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] God knows [I]_0-i tried , ” [he]_5448-he replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve done [my]_0-i best to see [you]_0-i as [you]_0-i are , without any of this damned romantic nonsense . That was why [I]_0-i asked [you]_0-i here , and it ’s increased [my]_0-i folly . When [you]_0-i ’re gone [I]_0-i shall look out of that window and think of [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i shall waste the whole evening thinking of [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i shall waste [my]_0-i whole life , [I]_0-i believe . ” [He]_154-ralph spoke with such vehemence that [her]_0-i relief disappeared ; [she]_0-i frowned ; and [her]_0-i tone changed to one almost of severity . “_[0-i] This is what [I]_0-i foretold . [We]_2434-we shall gain nothing but unhappiness . Look at [me]_0-i , [Ralph]_154-ralph . ” [He]_154-ralph looked at [her]_0-i . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i assure [you]_0-i that [I]_0-i ’m far more ordinary than [I]_0-i appear . Beauty means nothing whatever . In fact , [the most beautiful women]_{2435-the most beautiful women} are generally the most stupid . [I]_0-i ’m not that , but [I]_0-i ’m [a matter - of - fact , prosaic , rather ordinary character]_{2436-a matter - of - fact , prosaic , rather ordinary character} ; [I]_0-i order the dinner , [I]_0-i pay the bills , [I]_0-i do the accounts , [I]_0-i wind up the clock , and [I]_0-i never look at a book . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i forget — ” [he]_5449-he began , but [she]_0-i would not let [him]_5449-he speak . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i come and see [me]_0-i among flowers and pictures , and think [me]_0-i mysterious , romantic , and all the rest of it . Being [yourself]_0-i very inexperienced and very emotional , [you]_0-i go [home]_2992-home and invent a story about [me]_0-i , and now [you]_0-i ca n’t separate [me]_0-i from [the person [you]_0-i ’ve imagined [me]_0-i to be]_{2438-the person you ’ve imagined me to be} . [You]_0-i call that , [I]_0-i suppose , being in love ; as a matter of fact it ’s being in delusion . [All romantic people]_{2439-all romantic people} are the same , ” [she]_0-i added . “_{[2968-my mother]} [[My]_0-i mother]_{2968-my mother} spends [her]_{2968-my mother} life in making stories about [the people [she]_{2968-my mother} ’s fond of]_{2441-the people she ’s fond of} . But [I]_0-i wo n’t have [you]_0-i do it about [me]_0-i , if [I]_0-i can help it . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ca n’t help it , ” [he]_5450-he said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i warn [you]_0-i it ’s the source of all evil . ” “_[0-i] And of all good , ” [he]_5450-he added . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ll find out that [I]_0-i ’m not what [you]_0-i think [me]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Perhaps . But [I]_0-i shall gain more than [I]_0-i lose . ” “_[0-i] If such gain ’s worth having . ” [They]_2442-they were silent for a space . “_[0-i] That may be what [we]_2442-they have to face , ” [he]_5450-he said . “_[0-i] There may be nothing else . Nothing but what [we]_2442-they imagine . ” “_[0-i] The reason of [our]_2442-they loneliness , ” [she]_0-i mused , and [they]_2442-they were silent for a time . “_[0-i] When are [you]_0-i to be married ? ” [he]_5450-he asked abruptly , with a change of tone . “_[0-i] Not till September , [I]_0-i think . It ’s been put off . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i wo n’t be lonely then , ” [he]_5450-he said . “_[0-i] According to what [people]_383-people say , marriage is a very queer business . [They]_383-people say it ’s different from anything else . It may be true . [I]_0-i ’ve known one or two cases where it seems to be true . ” [He]_5450-he hoped that [she]_0-i would go on with the subject . But [she]_0-i made no reply . [He]_5450-he had done [his]_5450-he best to master [himself]_5450-he , and [his]_5450-he voice was sufficiently indifferent , but [her]_0-i silence tormented [him]_5450-he . [She]_0-i would never speak to [him]_5450-he of Rodney of [her]_0-i own accord , and [her]_0-i reserve left a whole continent of [her]_0-i soul in darkness . “_[0-i] It may be put off even longer than that , ” [she]_0-i said , as if by an afterthought . “_[0-i] [Some one in [the office]_{3177-the office}]_{2444-some one in the office} is ill , and [William]_176-rodney has to take [his]_176-rodney place . [We]_2446-we may put it off for some time in fact . ” “_[2446-we] That ’s rather hard on [him]_176-rodney , is n’t it ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph asked . “_[2446-we] [He]_176-rodney has [his]_176-rodney work , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney has lots of things that interest [him]_176-rodney .... [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i ’ve been to [that place]_{2447-that place} , ” [she]_0-i broke off , pointing to a photograph . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i ca n’t remember where it is — oh , of course it ’s [Oxford]_99-oxford . Now , what about [[your]_0-i cottage]_{2448-your cottage} ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not going to take it . ” “_[0-i] How [you]_0-i change [your]_0-i mind ! ” [she]_0-i smiled . “_[0-i] It ’s not that , ” [he]_5451-he said impatiently . “_[0-i] It ’s that [I]_0-i want to be where [I]_0-i can see [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] [Our]_2449-our compact is going to hold in spite of all [I]_0-i ’ve said ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[0-i] For ever , so far as [I]_0-i ’m concerned , ” [he]_5451-he replied . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re going to go on dreaming and imagining and making up stories about [me]_0-i as [you]_0-i walk along [the street]_{397-the street} , and pretending that [we]_2449-our ’re riding in [a forest]_{2451-a forest} , or landing on [an island]_{2452-an island} — ” “_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i shall think of [you]_0-i ordering dinner , paying bills , doing the accounts , showing [old ladies]_{2453-old ladies} the relics — ” “_[0-i] That ’s better , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i can think of [me]_0-i to - morrow morning looking up dates in the ‘ Dictionary of National Biography . ’ ” “_[0-i] And forgetting [your]_0-i purse , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph added . At this [she]_0-i smiled , but in another moment [her]_0-i smile faded , either because of [his]_5451-he words or of the way in which [he]_5451-he spoke them . [She]_0-i was capable of forgetting things . [He]_154-ralph saw that . But what more did [he]_154-ralph see ? Was [he]_154-ralph not looking at something [she]_0-i had never shown to [anybody]_1337-anybody ? Was it not something so profound that the notion of [his]_154-ralph seeing it almost shocked [her]_0-i ? [Her]_0-i smile faded , and for a moment [she]_0-i seemed upon the point of speaking , but looking at [him]_154-ralph in silence , with a look that seemed to ask what [she]_0-i could not put into words , [she]_0-i turned and bade [him]_154-ralph good night . Like a strain of music , the effect of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s presence slowly died from [the room in which [Ralph]_154-ralph sat alone]_{5453-the room in which ralph sat alone} . The music had ceased in the rapture of its melody . [He]_154-ralph strained to catch the faintest lingering echoes ; for a moment the memory lulled [him]_154-ralph into peace ; but soon it failed , and [he]_154-ralph paced [the room]_{379-the room} so hungry for the sound to come again that [he]_154-ralph was conscious of no other desire left in life . [She]_0-i had gone without speaking ; abruptly a chasm had been cut in [his]_154-ralph course , down which the tide of [his]_154-ralph being plunged in disorder ; fell upon rocks ; flung itself to destruction . The distress had an effect of physical ruin and disaster . [He]_154-ralph trembled ; [he]_154-ralph was white ; [he]_154-ralph felt exhausted , as if by a great physical effort . [He]_154-ralph sank at last into a chair standing opposite [[her]_0-i empty one]_{5455-her empty one} , and marked , mechanically , with [his]_154-ralph eye upon the clock , how [she]_0-i went farther and farther from [him]_154-ralph , was [home]_2992-home now , and now , doubtless , again with [Rodney]_176-rodney . But it was long before [he]_154-ralph could realize these facts ; the immense desire for [her]_0-i presence churned [his]_154-ralph senses into foam , into froth , into a haze of emotion that removed all facts from [his]_154-ralph grasp , and gave [him]_154-ralph a strange sense of distance , even from the material shapes of wall and window by which [he]_154-ralph was surrounded . The prospect of the future , now that the strength of [his]_154-ralph passion was revealed to [him]_154-ralph , appalled [him]_154-ralph . The marriage would take place in September , [she]_0-i had said ; that allowed [him]_154-ralph , then , six full months in which to undergo these terrible extremes of emotion . Six months of torture , and after that the silence of the grave , the isolation of [the insane]_{5457-the insane} , the exile of [the damned]_{5458-the damned} ; at best , a life from which the chief good was knowingly and for ever excluded . [An impartial judge]_{5459-an impartial judge} might have assured [him]_154-ralph that [his]_154-ralph chief hope of recovery lay in this mystic temper , which identified [a living woman]_{5460-a living woman} with much that [no human beings long possess in the eyes of each other]_{5461-no human beings long possess in the eyes of each other} ; [she]_0-i would pass , and the desire for [her]_0-i vanish , but [his]_154-ralph belief in what [she]_0-i stood for , detached from [her]_0-i , would remain . This line of thought offered , perhaps , some respite , and possessed of a brain that had its station considerably above the tumult of the senses , [he]_154-ralph tried to reduce the vague and wandering incoherency of [his]_154-ralph emotions to order . The sense of self - preservation was strong in [him]_154-ralph , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} had strangely revived it by convincing [him]_154-ralph that [[his]_154-ralph family]_{547-his family} deserved and needed all [his]_154-ralph strength . [She]_{129-katharine} was right , and for [their]_5463-their sake , if not for [his]_154-ralph own , this passion , which could bear no fruit , must be cut off , uprooted , shown to be as visionary and baseless as [she]_{129-katharine} had maintained . The best way of achieving this was not to run away from [her]_{129-katharine} , but to face [her]_{129-katharine} , and having steeped [himself]_154-ralph in [her]_{129-katharine} qualities , to convince [his]_154-ralph reason that they were , as [she]_{129-katharine} assured [him]_154-ralph , not those that [he]_154-ralph imagined . [She]_{129-katharine} was [a practical woman]_{5464-a practical woman} , [a domestic wife for [an inferior poet , endowed with romantic beauty by some freak of unintelligent Nature]_{5466-an inferior poet , endowed with romantic beauty by some freak of unintelligent nature}]_{5465-a domestic wife for an inferior poet , endowed with romantic beauty by some freak of unintelligent nature} . No doubt [her]_{129-katharine} beauty itself would not stand examination . [He]_154-ralph had the means of settling this point at least . [He]_154-ralph possessed a book of photographs from the Greek statues ; the head of [a goddess]_{5467-a goddess} , if the lower part were concealed , had often given [him]_154-ralph the ecstasy of being in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s presence . [He]_154-ralph took it down from the shelf and found the picture . To this [he]_154-ralph added a note from [her]_{129-katharine} , bidding [him]_154-ralph meet [her]_{129-katharine} at [the Zoo]_{5331-the zoo} . [He]_154-ralph had a flower which [he]_154-ralph had picked at [Kew]_330-kew to teach [her]_{129-katharine} botany . Such were [his]_154-ralph relics . [He]_154-ralph placed them before [him]_154-ralph , and set [himself]_154-ralph to visualize [her]_{129-katharine} so clearly that no deception or delusion was possible . In a second [he]_154-ralph could see [her]_{129-katharine} , with the sun slanting across [her]_{129-katharine} dress , coming towards [him]_154-ralph down the green walk at [Kew]_330-kew . [He]_154-ralph made [her]_{129-katharine} sit upon the seat beside [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph heard [her]_{129-katharine} voice , so low and yet so decided in its tone ; [she]_{129-katharine} spoke reasonably of indifferent matters . [He]_154-ralph could see [her]_{129-katharine} faults , and analyze [her]_{129-katharine} virtues . [His]_154-ralph pulse became quieter , and [his]_154-ralph brain increased in clarity . This time [she]_{129-katharine} could not escape [him]_154-ralph . The illusion of [her]_{129-katharine} presence became more and more complete . [They]_5469-they seemed to pass in and out of [each other]_{451-each other} ’s minds , questioning and answering . The utmost fullness of communion seemed to be [theirs]_5469-they . Thus united , [he]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph raised to an eminence , exalted , and filled with a power of achievement such as [he]_154-ralph had never known in singleness . Once more [he]_154-ralph told over conscientiously [her]_{129-katharine} faults , both of face and character ; they were clearly known to [him]_154-ralph ; but [they]_5469-they merged [themselves]_5469-they in the flawless union that was born of [their]_5469-they association . [They]_5469-they surveyed life to its uttermost limits . How deep it was when looked at from this height ! How sublime ! How the commonest things moved [him]_154-ralph almost to tears ! Thus , [he]_154-ralph forgot the inevitable limitations ; [he]_154-ralph forgot [her]_{129-katharine} absence , [he]_154-ralph thought it of no account whether [she]_{129-katharine} married [him]_154-ralph or another ; nothing mattered , save that [she]_{129-katharine} should exist , and that [he]_154-ralph should love [her]_{129-katharine} . Some words of these reflections were uttered aloud , and it happened that among them were the words , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [her]_2454-her . ” It was the first time that [he]_154-ralph had used the word “_[2454-her] love ” to describe [his]_154-ralph feeling ; madness , romance , hallucination — [he]_154-ralph had called it by these names before ; but having , apparently by accident , stumbled upon the word “_[0-i] love , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated it again and again with a sense of revelation . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i ’m in love with [you]_2454-her ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed , with something like dismay . [He]_154-ralph leant against the window - sill , looking over [the city]_{3152-the city} as [she]_{129-katharine} had looked . Everything had become miraculously different and completely distinct . [His]_154-ralph feelings were justified and needed no further explanation . But [he]_154-ralph must impart them to [some one]_{376-some one} , because [his]_154-ralph discovery was so important that it concerned [other people]_{2964-other people} too . Shutting the book of Greek photographs , and hiding [his]_154-ralph relics , [he]_154-ralph ran [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , snatched [his]_154-ralph coat , and passed out of doors . The lamps were being lit , but [the streets]_{388-the streets} were dark enough and empty enough to let [him]_154-ralph walk [his]_154-ralph fastest , and to talk aloud as [he]_154-ralph walked . [He]_154-ralph had no doubt where [he]_154-ralph was going . [He]_154-ralph was going to find [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . The desire to share what [he]_154-ralph felt , with [some one who understood it]_{5476-some one who understood it} , was so imperious that [he]_154-ralph did not question it . [He]_154-ralph was soon in [[her]_175-mary street]_{5477-her street} . [He]_154-ralph ran up the stairs leading to [[her]_175-mary flat]_{3143-her flat} two steps at a time , and it never crossed [his]_154-ralph mind that [she]_175-mary might not be at [home]_2992-home . As [he]_154-ralph rang [her]_175-mary bell , [he]_154-ralph seemed to [himself]_154-ralph to be announcing the presence of something wonderful that was separate from [himself]_154-ralph , and gave [him]_154-ralph power and authority over [all other people]_{5480-all other people} . [Mary]_175-mary came to the door after a moment ’s pause . [He]_154-ralph was perfectly silent , and in the dusk [his]_154-ralph face looked completely white . [He]_154-ralph followed [her]_175-mary into [[her]_175-mary room]_{798-her room} . “_[2454-her] Do [you]_2455-you know [each other]_{451-each other} ? ” [she]_175-mary said , to [his]_154-ralph extreme surprise , for [he]_154-ralph had counted on finding [her]_175-mary alone . [A young man]_{378-a young man} rose , and said that [he]_{378-a young man} knew [Ralph]_154-ralph by sight . “_[2454-her] [We]_2457-we were just going through some papers , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . “_[2457-we] [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} has to help [me]_0-i , because [I]_0-i do n’t know much about [my]_0-i work yet . [It]_2458-it ’s [the new society]_{2459-the new society} , ” [she]_175-mary explained . “_{[3742-the secretary]} [I]_0-i ’m [the secretary]_{3742-the secretary} . [I]_0-i ’m no longer at [Russell Square]_{26-russell square} . ” The voice in which [she]_175-mary gave this information was so constrained as to sound almost harsh . “_[0-i] What are [your]_2461-your aims ? ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph looked neither at [Mary]_175-mary nor at [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} thought [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had seldom seen [a more disagreeable or formidable man than [this friend of [Mary]_175-mary ’s]_{5484-this friend of mary ’s} , [this sarcastic - looking , white - faced [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , who seemed to demand , as if by right , an account of [their]_5486-them proposals , and to criticize [them]_5486-them before [he]_{348-mr. basnett} had heard [them]_5486-them]_{5485-this sarcastic - looking , white - faced mr. denham , who seemed to demand , as if by right , an account of their proposals , and to criticize them before he had heard them} . Nevertheless , [he]_{348-mr. basnett} explained [his]_{348-mr. basnett} projects as clearly as [he]_{348-mr. basnett} could , and knew that [he]_{348-mr. basnett} wished [Mr. Denham]_131-denham to think well of [them]_5486-them]_{5483-a more disagreeable or formidable man than this friend of mary ’s , this sarcastic - looking , white - faced mr. denham , who seemed to demand , as if by right , an account of their proposals , and to criticize them before he had heard them . nevertheless , he explained his projects as clearly as he could , and knew that he wished mr. denham to think well of them} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , when [he]_154-ralph had done . “_[0-i] [D’you]_2462-d’you know , [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph suddenly remarked , “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i ’m in for a cold . Have [you]_175-mary any quinine ? ” The look which [he]_154-ralph cast at [her]_175-mary frightened [her]_175-mary ; it expressed mutely , perhaps without [his]_154-ralph own consciousness , something deep , wild , and passionate . [She]_175-mary left [the room]_{379-the room} at once . [Her]_175-mary heart beat fast at the knowledge of [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s presence ; but it beat with pain , and with an extraordinary fear . [She]_175-mary stood listening for a moment to the voices in [the next room]_{472-the next room} . “_[175-mary] Of course , [I]_0-i agree with [you]_175-mary , ” [she]_175-mary heard [Ralph]_154-ralph say , in this strange voice , to [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . “_[0-i] But there ’s more that might be done . Have [you]_175-mary seen [Judson]_356-judson , for instance ? [You]_175-mary should make a point of getting [him]_356-judson . ” [Mary]_175-mary returned with the quinine . “_[175-mary] [Judson]_356-judson ’s address ? ” [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} inquired , pulling out [his]_{348-mr. basnett} notebook and preparing to write . For twenty minutes , perhaps , [he]_{348-mr. basnett} wrote down names , addresses , and other suggestions that [Ralph]_154-ralph dictated to [him]_{348-mr. basnett} . Then , when [Ralph]_154-ralph fell silent , [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} felt that [his]_154-ralph presence was not desired , and thanking [Ralph]_154-ralph for [his]_154-ralph help , with a sense that [he]_154-ralph was very young and ignorant compared with [him]_154-ralph , [he]_{348-mr. basnett} said good - bye . “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , directly [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} had shut the door and [they]_5489-they were alone together . “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated . But the old difficulty of speaking to [Mary]_175-mary without reserve prevented [him]_154-ralph from continuing . [His]_154-ralph desire to proclaim [his]_154-ralph love for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was still strong in [him]_154-ralph , but [he]_154-ralph had felt , directly [he]_154-ralph saw [Mary]_175-mary , that [he]_154-ralph could not share it with [her]_175-mary . The feeling increased as [he]_154-ralph sat talking to [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . And yet all the time [he]_154-ralph was thinking of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and marveling at [his]_154-ralph love . The tone in which [he]_154-ralph spoke [Mary]_175-mary ’s name was harsh . “_[175-mary] What is it , [Ralph]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_175-mary asked , startled by [his]_154-ralph tone . [She]_175-mary looked at [him]_154-ralph anxiously , and [her]_175-mary little frown showed that [she]_175-mary was trying painfully to understand [him]_154-ralph , and was puzzled . [He]_154-ralph could feel [her]_175-mary groping for [his]_154-ralph meaning , and [he]_154-ralph was annoyed with [her]_175-mary , and thought how [he]_154-ralph had always found [her]_175-mary slow , painstaking , and clumsy . [He]_154-ralph had behaved badly to [her]_175-mary , too , which made [his]_154-ralph irritation the more acute . Without waiting for [him]_154-ralph to answer , [she]_175-mary rose as if [his]_154-ralph answer were indifferent to [her]_175-mary , and began to put in order some papers that [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} had left on the table . [She]_175-mary hummed a scrap of a tune under [her]_175-mary breath , and moved about [the room]_{379-the room} as if [she]_175-mary were occupied in making things tidy , and had no other concern . “_[154-ralph] [You]_2463-you ’ll stay and dine ? ” [she]_175-mary said casually , returning to [her]_175-mary seat . “_[154-ralph] No , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied . [She]_175-mary did not press [him]_154-ralph further . [They]_5491-they sat side by side without speaking , and [Mary]_175-mary reached [her]_175-mary hand for [her]_175-mary work basket , and took out [her]_175-mary sewing and threaded a needle . “_[154-ralph] That ’s [a clever young man]_{2464-a clever young man} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph observed , referring to [Mr. Basnett]_{348-mr. basnett} . “_{[2464-a clever young man]} [I]_0-i ’m glad [you]_2465-you thought so . It ’s tremendously interesting work , and considering everything , [I]_0-i think [we]_2466-we ’ve done very well . But [I]_0-i ’m inclined to agree with [you]_2465-you ; [we]_2466-we ought to try to be more conciliatory . [We]_2466-we ’re absurdly strict . It ’s difficult to see that there may be sense in what [one ’s opponents]_{2467-one ’s opponents} say , though [they]_{2467-one ’s opponents} are [[one]_422-one ’s opponents]_{2467-one ’s opponents} . [Horace Basnett]_284-horace is certainly too uncompromising . [I]_0-i must n’t forget to see that [he]_284-horace writes that letter to [Judson]_356-judson . [You]_2465-you ’re too busy , [I]_0-i suppose , to come on to [[our]_2466-we committee]_{2470-our committee} ? ” [She]_0-i spoke in the most impersonal manner . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i may be out of [town]_2471-town , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied , with equal distance of manner . “_[0-i] [Our]_2466-we executive meets every week , of course , ” [she]_0-i observed . “_[2466-we] But [some of [[our]_2466-we members]_{2473-our members}]_{2472-some of our members} do n’t come more than once a month . [Members of Parliament]_{2474-members of parliament} are the worst ; it was a mistake , [I]_0-i think , to ask [them]_{2474-members of parliament} . ” [She]_0-i went on sewing in silence . “_[0-i] [You]_2465-you ’ve not taken [your]_2465-you quinine , ” [she]_0-i said , looking up and seeing the tabloids upon the mantelpiece . “_[2465-you] [I]_0-i do n’t want it , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph shortly . “_[0-i] Well , [you]_2465-you know best , ” [she]_0-i replied tranquilly . “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , [I]_0-i ’m [a brute]_{2475-a brute} ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed . “_{[2475-a brute]} Here [I]_0-i come and waste [your]_175-mary time , and do nothing but make [myself]_0-i disagreeable . ” “_[0-i] A cold coming on does make [one]_422-one feel wretched , ” [she]_0-i replied . “_[422-one] [I]_0-i ’ve not got a cold . That was a lie . There ’s nothing the matter with [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i ’m mad , [I]_0-i suppose . [I]_0-i ought to have had the decency to keep away . But [I]_0-i wanted to see [you]_175-mary — [I]_0-i wanted to tell [you]_175-mary — [I’m]_0-i in love , [Mary]_175-mary . ” [He]_154-ralph spoke the word , but , as [he]_154-ralph spoke it , it seemed robbed of substance . “_[0-i] In love , are [you]_0-i ? ” [she]_175-mary said quietly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m glad , [Ralph]_154-ralph . ” “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i ’m in love . Anyhow , [I]_0-i ’m out of [my]_0-i mind . [I]_0-i ca n’t think , [I]_0-i ca n’t work , [I]_0-i do n’t care a hang for anything in [the world]_{478-the world} . [Good Heavens]_{357-good heavens} , [Mary]_175-mary ! [I]_0-i ’m in torment ! One moment [I]_0-i ’m happy ; next [I]_0-i ’m miserable . [I]_0-i hate [her]_175-mary for half an hour ; then [I]_0-i ’d give [my]_0-i whole life to be with [her]_175-mary for ten minutes ; all the time [I]_0-i do n’t know what [I]_0-i feel , or why [I]_0-i feel it ; it ’s insanity , and yet it ’s perfectly reasonable . Can [you]_175-mary make any sense of it ? Can [you]_175-mary see what ’s happened ? [I]_0-i ’m raving , [I]_0-i know ; do n’t listen , [Mary]_175-mary ; go on with [your]_175-mary work . ” [He]_5492-he rose and began , as usual , to pace up and down [the room]_{379-the room} . [He]_5492-he knew that what [he]_5492-he had just said bore very little resemblance to what [he]_5492-he felt , for [Mary]_175-mary ’s presence acted upon [him]_5492-he like a very strong magnet , drawing from [him]_5492-he certain expressions which were not those [he]_5492-he made use of when [he]_5492-he spoke to [himself]_5492-he , nor did they represent [his]_5492-he deepest feelings . [He]_5492-he felt a little contempt for [himself]_5492-he at having spoken thus ; but somehow [he]_5492-he had been forced into speech . “_[175-mary] Do sit down , ” said [Mary]_175-mary suddenly . “_[175-mary] [You]_2478-you make [me]_0-i so — ” [She]_175-mary spoke with unusual irritability , and [Ralph]_154-ralph , noticing it with surprise , sat down at once . “_[2478-you] [You]_2478-you have n’t told [me]_0-i [her]_0-i name — [you’d]_2478-you rather not , [I]_0-i suppose ? ” “_[2478-you] [Her]_0-i name ? [Katharine Hilbery]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} But [she]_{129-katharine} ’s engaged — ” “_{[129-katharine]} To [Rodney]_176-rodney . [They]_2479-they ’re to be married in September . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . But in truth the calm of [his]_154-ralph manner , now that [he]_154-ralph was sitting down once more , wrapt [her]_175-mary in the presence of something which [she]_175-mary felt to be so strong , so mysterious , so incalculable , that [she]_175-mary scarcely dared to attempt to intercept it by any word or question that [she]_175-mary was able to frame . [She]_175-mary looked at [Ralph]_154-ralph blankly , with a kind of awe in [her]_175-mary face , [her]_175-mary lips slightly parted , and [her]_175-mary brows raised . [He]_154-ralph was apparently quite unconscious of [her]_175-mary gaze . Then , as if [she]_175-mary could look no longer , [she]_175-mary leant back in [her]_175-mary chair , and half closed [her]_175-mary eyes . The distance between them hurt [her]_175-mary terribly ; one thing after another came into [her]_175-mary mind , tempting [her]_175-mary to assail [Ralph]_154-ralph with questions , to force [him]_154-ralph to confide in [her]_175-mary , and to enjoy once more [his]_154-ralph intimacy . But [she]_175-mary rejected every impulse , for [she]_175-mary could not speak without doing violence to some reserve which had grown between [them]_5494-them , putting [them]_5494-them a little far from each other , so that [he]_154-ralph seemed to [her]_175-mary dignified and remote , like [a person [she]_175-mary no longer knew well]_{5495-a person she no longer knew well} . “_[0-i] Is there anything that [I]_0-i could do for [you]_2480-you ? ” [she]_175-mary asked gently , and even with courtesy , at length . “_[2480-you] [You]_2480-you could see [her]_2481-her — no , that ’s not what [I]_0-i want ; [you]_2480-you must n’t bother about [me]_0-i , [Mary]_175-mary . ” [He]_154-ralph , too , spoke very gently . “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i ’m afraid [no third person]_{2482-no third person} can do anything to help , ” [she]_175-mary added . “_[0-i] No , ” [he]_154-ralph shook [his]_154-ralph head . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was saying to - day how lonely [we]_2483-we are . ” [She]_175-mary saw the effort with which [he]_154-ralph spoke [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s name , and believed that [he]_154-ralph forced [himself]_154-ralph to make amends now for [his]_154-ralph concealment in the past . At any rate , [she]_175-mary was conscious of no anger against [him]_154-ralph ; but rather of a deep pity for one condemned to suffer as [she]_175-mary had suffered . But in the case of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} it was different ; [she]_175-mary was indignant with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} There ’s always work , ” [she]_175-mary said , a little aggressively . [Ralph]_154-ralph moved directly . “_{[129-katharine]} Do [you]_{129-katharine} want to be working now ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . “_{[129-katharine]} No , no . It ’s Sunday , ” [she]_175-mary replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was thinking of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} does n’t understand about work . [She]_{129-katharine} ’s never had to . [She]_{129-katharine} does n’t know what work is . [I]_0-i ’ve only found out [myself]_0-i quite lately . But it ’s the thing that saves [one]_422-one — [I’m]_0-i sure of that . ” “_[0-i] There are other things , are n’t there ? ” [he]_154-ralph hesitated . “_[0-i] Nothing that [one]_422-one can count upon , ” [she]_175-mary returned . “_{[2964-other people]} After all , [other people]_{2964-other people} — ” [she]_175-mary stopped , but forced [herself]_175-mary to go on . “_{[2964-other people]} Where should [I]_0-i be now if [I]_0-i had n’t got to go to [[my]_0-i office]_{1626-my office} every day ? [Thousands of people]_{2488-thousands of people} would tell [you]_2489-you the same thing — [thousands of [women]_557-women]_{2490-thousands of women} . [I]_0-i tell [you]_2489-you , work is the only thing that saved [me]_0-i , [Ralph]_154-ralph . ” [He]_154-ralph set [his]_154-ralph mouth , as if [her]_175-mary words rained blows on [him]_154-ralph ; [he]_154-ralph looked as if [he]_154-ralph had made up [his]_154-ralph mind to bear anything [she]_175-mary might say , in silence . [He]_154-ralph had deserved it , and there would be relief in having to bear it . But [she]_175-mary broke off , and rose as if to fetch something from [the next room]_{472-the next room} . Before [she]_175-mary reached the door [she]_175-mary turned back , and stood facing [him]_154-ralph , self - possessed , and yet defiant and formidable in [her]_175-mary composure . “_[154-ralph] It ’s all turned out splendidly for [me]_0-i , ” [she]_175-mary said . “_[154-ralph] It will for [you]_2489-you , too . [I]_0-i ’m sure of that . Because , after all , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is worth it . ” “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary — ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed . But [her]_175-mary head was turned away , and [he]_154-ralph could not say what [he]_154-ralph wished to say . “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary , [you]_175-mary ’re splendid , ” [he]_154-ralph concluded . [She]_175-mary faced [him]_154-ralph as [he]_154-ralph spoke , and gave [him]_154-ralph [her]_175-mary hand . [She]_175-mary had suffered and relinquished , [she]_175-mary had seen [her]_175-mary future turned from one of infinite promise to one of barrenness , and yet , somehow , over what [she]_175-mary scarcely knew , and with what results [she]_175-mary could hardly foretell , [she]_175-mary had conquered . With [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s eyes upon [her]_175-mary , smiling straight back at [him]_154-ralph serenely and proudly , [she]_175-mary knew , for the first time , that [she]_175-mary had conquered . [She]_175-mary let [him]_154-ralph kiss [her]_175-mary hand . [The streets]_{388-the streets} were empty enough on Sunday night , and if the Sabbath , and the domestic amusements proper to the Sabbath , had not kept [people]_383-people indoors , a high strong wind might very probably have done so . [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph was aware of a tumult in [the street]_{397-the street} much in accordance with [his]_154-ralph own sensations . The gusts , sweeping along [the Strand]_{19-the strand} , seemed at the same time to blow a clear space across the sky in which stars appeared , and for a short time the quicks - peeding silver moon riding through clouds , as if they were waves of water surging round [her]_175-mary and over [her]_175-mary . [They]_5500-they swamped [her]_175-mary , but [she]_175-mary emerged ; [they]_5500-they broke over [her]_175-mary and covered [her]_175-mary again ; [she]_175-mary issued forth indomitable . In [the country fields]_{5501-the country fields} all the wreckage of winter was being dispersed ; the dead leaves , the withered bracken , the dry and discolored grass , but no bud would be broken , nor would the new stalks that showed above [the earth]_{2936-the earth} take any harm , and perhaps to - morrow a line of blue or yellow would show through a slit in their green . But the whirl of the atmosphere alone was in [Denham]_154-ralph ’s mood , and what of star or blossom appeared was only as a light gleaming for a second upon heaped waves fast following each other . [He]_154-ralph had not been able to speak to [Mary]_175-mary , though for a moment [he]_154-ralph had come near enough to be tantalized by a wonderful possibility of understanding . But the desire to communicate something of the very greatest importance possessed [him]_154-ralph completely ; [he]_154-ralph still wished to bestow this gift upon [some other human being]_{5503-some other human being} ; [he]_154-ralph sought [their]_{5503-some other human being} company . More by instinct than by conscious choice , [he]_154-ralph took the direction which led to [[Rodney]_176-rodney ’s rooms]_{3122-rodney ’s rooms} . [He]_154-ralph knocked loudly upon [his]_154-ralph door ; but [no one]_{2921-no one} answered . [He]_154-ralph rang the bell . It took [him]_154-ralph some time to accept the fact that [Rodney]_176-rodney was out . When [he]_154-ralph could no longer pretend that the sound of the wind in [the old building]_{5506-the old building} was the sound of [some one]_{376-some one} rising from [his]_154-ralph chair , [he]_154-ralph ran [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} again , as if [his]_154-ralph goal had been altered and only just revealed to [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph walked in the direction of [Chelsea]_10-chelsea . But physical fatigue , for [he]_154-ralph had not dined and had tramped both far and fast , made [him]_154-ralph sit for a moment upon a seat on [the Embankment]_{78-the embankment} . [One of [the regular occupants of those seats]_{5510-the regular occupants of those seats}]_{5509-one of the regular occupants of those seats} , [an elderly man who had drunk [himself]_{5511-an elderly man who had drunk himself , probably , out of work and lodging} , probably , out of work and lodging]_{5511-an elderly man who had drunk himself , probably , out of work and lodging} , drifted up , begged a match , and sat down beside [him]_154-ralph . It was a windy night , [he]_{5511-an elderly man who had drunk himself , probably , out of work and lodging} said ; times were hard ; some long story of bad luck and injustice followed , told so often that [the man]_{3095-the man} seemed to be talking to [himself]_{3095-the man} , or , perhaps , the neglect of [[his]_{3095-the man} audience]_{859-his audience} had long made any attempt to catch [their]_{859-his audience} attention seem scarcely worth while . When [he]_{3095-the man} began to speak [Ralph]_154-ralph had a wild desire to talk to [him]_{3095-the man} ; to question [him]_{3095-the man} ; to make [him]_{3095-the man} understand . [He]_154-ralph did , in fact , interrupt [him]_{3095-the man} at one point ; but it was useless . The ancient story of failure , ill - luck , undeserved disaster , went down the wind , disconnected syllables flying past [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s ears with a queer alternation of loudness and faintness as if , at certain moments , [the man]_{3095-the man} ’s memory of [his]_{3095-the man} wrongs revived and then flagged , dying down at last into a grumble of resignation , which seemed to represent a final lapse into the accustomed despair . The unhappy voice afflicted [Ralph]_154-ralph , but it also angered [him]_154-ralph . And when [the elderly man]_{5515-the elderly man} refused to listen and mumbled on , an odd image came to [his]_{5515-the elderly man} mind of a lighthouse besieged by the flying bodies of lost birds , who were dashed senseless , by the gale , against the glass . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} had a strange sensation that [he]_{5515-the elderly man} was both lighthouse and bird ; [he]_{5515-the elderly man} was steadfast and brilliant ; and at the same time [he]_{5515-the elderly man} was whirled , with all other things , senseless against the glass . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} got up , left [his]_{5515-the elderly man} tribute of silver , and pressed on , with the wind against [him]_{5515-the elderly man} . The image of [the lighthouse]_{5516-the lighthouse} and the storm full of birds persisted , taking the place of more definite thoughts , as [he]_{5515-the elderly man} walked past [the Houses of Parliament]_{4279-the houses of parliament} and down [Grosvenor Road]_{101-grosvenor road} , by [the side of [the river]_{945-the river}]_{5518-the side of the river} . In [his]_{5515-the elderly man} state of physical fatigue , details merged themselves in the vaster prospect , of which the flying gloom and the intermittent lights of lamp - posts and [private houses]_{5520-private houses} were the outward token , but [he]_{5515-the elderly man} never lost [his]_{5515-the elderly man} sense of walking in the direction of [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s house]_{1327-katharine ’s house} . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} took it for granted that something would then happen , and , as [he]_{5515-the elderly man} walked on , [his]_{5515-the elderly man} mind became more and more full of pleasure and expectancy . Within a certain radius of [[her]_{129-katharine} house]_{677-her house} [the streets]_{388-the streets} came under the influence of [her]_{129-katharine} presence . [Each house]_{5524-each house} had an individuality known to [Ralph]_154-ralph , because of the tremendous individuality of [the house in which [she]_{129-katharine} lived]_{5525-the house in which she lived} . For some yards before reaching [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} ’ door [he]_{5515-the elderly man} walked in a trance of pleasure , but when [he]_{5515-the elderly man} reached [it]_{677-her house} , and pushed the gate of [the little garden]_{5526-the little garden} open , [he]_{5515-the elderly man} hesitated . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} did not know what to do next . There was no hurry , however , for the outside of [the house]_{377-the house} held pleasure enough to last [him]_{5515-the elderly man} some time longer . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} crossed [the road]_{941-the road} , and leant against the balustrade of [the Embankment]_{78-the embankment} , fixing [his]_{5515-the elderly man} eyes upon [the house]_{377-the house} . Lights burnt in the three long windows of [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} . The space of [the room]_{379-the room} behind became , in [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s vision , [the center of [the dark , flying wilderness of the world]_{5533-the dark , flying wilderness of the world}]_{5532-the center of the dark , flying wilderness of the world} ; the justification for the welter of confusion surrounding [it]_{377-the house} ; the steady light which cast its beams , like those of a lighthouse , with searching composure over [the trackless waste]_{5534-the trackless waste} . In [this little sanctuary]_{5535-this little sanctuary} were gathered together [several different people]_{5536-several different people} , but [their]_{5536-several different people} identity was dissolved in a general glory of something that might , perhaps , be called civilization ; at any rate , all dryness , all safety , all that stood up above the surge and preserved a consciousness of its own , was centered in [the drawing - room of [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys}]_{5537-the drawing - room of the hilberys} . [Its]_{5537-the drawing - room of the hilberys} purpose was beneficent ; and yet so far above [his]_154-ralph level as to have something austere about it , a light that cast itself out and yet kept itself aloof . Then [he]_{5515-the elderly man} began , in [his]_{5515-the elderly man} mind , to distinguish [different individuals within]_{5538-different individuals within} , consciously refusing as yet to attack the figure of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [His]_{5515-the elderly man} thoughts lingered over [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ; and then [he]_{5515-the elderly man} turned to [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} . Physically , [he]_{5515-the elderly man} saw [them]_5539-their bathed in that steady flow of yellow light which filled the long oblongs of the windows ; in [their]_5539-their movements they were beautiful ; and in [their]_5539-their speech [he]_{5515-the elderly man} figured a reserve of meaning , unspoken , but understood . At length , after all this half - conscious selection and arrangement , [he]_{5515-the elderly man} allowed [himself]_{5515-the elderly man} to approach [the figure of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine}]_{5540-the figure of katharine herself} ; and instantly the scene was flooded with excitement . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} did not see [her]_{129-katharine} in the body ; [he]_{5515-the elderly man} seemed curiously to see [her]_{129-katharine} as a shape of light , the light itself ; [he]_{5515-the elderly man} seemed , simplified and exhausted as [he]_{5515-the elderly man} was , to be like one of those lost birds fascinated by [the lighthouse]_{5516-the lighthouse} and held to the glass by the splendor of the blaze . These thoughts drove [him]_{5515-the elderly man} to tramp a beat up and down [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} before [the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} ’ gate . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} did not trouble [himself]_{5515-the elderly man} to make any plans for the future . Something of an unknown kind would decide both the coming year and the coming hour . Now and again , in [his]_{5515-the elderly man} vigil , [he]_{5515-the elderly man} sought the light in the long windows , or glanced at the ray which gilded a few leaves and a few blades of grass in [the little garden]_{5526-the little garden} . For a long time the light burnt without changing . [He]_{5515-the elderly man} had just reached the limit of [his]_{5515-the elderly man} beat and was turning , when the front door opened , and the aspect of [the house]_{377-the house} was entirely changed . [A black figure]_{5545-a black figure} came down [the little pathway]_{5546-the little pathway} and paused at the gate . [Denham]_154-ralph understood instantly that it was [Rodney]_176-rodney . Without hesitation , and conscious only of a great friendliness for any one coming from [that lighted room]_{5547-that lighted room} , [he]_154-ralph walked straight up to [him]_176-rodney and stopped [him]_176-rodney . In the flurry of the wind [Rodney]_176-rodney was taken aback , and for the moment tried to press on , muttering something , as if [he]_176-rodney suspected a demand upon [his]_176-rodney charity . “_[175-mary] Goodness , [Denham]_154-ralph , what are [you]_154-ralph doing [here]_2985-here ? ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed , recognizing [him]_176-rodney . [Ralph]_154-ralph mumbled something about being on [his]_154-ralph way [home]_2992-home . [They]_5549-they walked on together , though [Rodney]_176-rodney walked quick enough to make it plain that [he]_176-rodney had no wish for company . [He]_176-rodney was very unhappy . That afternoon [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had repulsed [him]_176-rodney ; [he]_176-rodney had tried to explain to [her]_{303-cassandra} the difficulties of the situation , and to suggest the nature of [his]_176-rodney feelings for [her]_{303-cassandra} without saying anything definite or anything offensive to [her]_{303-cassandra} . But [he]_176-rodney had lost [his]_176-rodney head ; under the goad of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s ridicule [he]_176-rodney had said too much , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , superb in [her]_{303-cassandra} dignity and severity , had refused to hear another word , and threatened an immediate return to [[her]_{303-cassandra} home]_{3365-her home} . [His]_176-rodney agitation , after an evening spent between [the two women]_{5551-the two women} , was extreme . Moreover , [he]_176-rodney could not help suspecting that [Ralph]_154-ralph was wandering near [[the Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} ’ house]_{5552-the hilberys ’ house} , at this hour , for reasons connected with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . There was probably some understanding between [them]_{5551-the two women} — not that anything of the kind mattered to [him]_176-rodney now . [He]_176-rodney was convinced that [he]_176-rodney had never cared for any one save [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s future was no concern of [his]_176-rodney . Aloud , [he]_176-rodney said , shortly , that [he]_176-rodney was very tired and wished to find [a cab]_{3079-a cab} . But on Sunday night , on [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} , [cabs]_387-cabs were hard to come by , and [Rodney]_176-rodney found [himself]_176-rodney constrained to walk some distance , at any rate , in [Denham]_154-ralph ’s company . [Denham]_154-ralph maintained [his]_154-ralph silence . [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s irritation lapsed . [He]_176-rodney found the silence oddly suggestive of the good masculine qualities which [he]_176-rodney much respected , and had at this moment great reason to need . After the mystery , difficulty , and uncertainty of dealing with the other sex , intercourse with one ’s own is apt to have a composing and even ennobling influence , since plain speaking is possible and subterfuges of no avail . [Rodney]_176-rodney , too , was much in need of [a confidant]_{5556-a confidant} ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , despite [her]_{129-katharine} promises of help , had failed [him]_176-rodney at the critical moment ; [she]_{129-katharine} had gone off with [Denham]_154-ralph ; [she]_{129-katharine} was , perhaps , tormenting [Denham]_154-ralph as [she]_{129-katharine} had tormented [him]_154-ralph . How grave and stable [he]_154-ralph seemed , speaking little , and walking firmly , compared with what [Rodney]_176-rodney knew of [his]_176-rodney own torments and indecisions ! [He]_176-rodney began to cast about for some way of telling the story of [his]_176-rodney relations with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} that would not lower [him]_176-rodney in [Denham]_154-ralph ’s eyes . It then occurred to [him]_176-rodney that , perhaps , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} had confided in [Denham]_154-ralph ; [they]_5557-they had something in common ; it was likely that [they]_5557-they had discussed [him]_154-ralph that very afternoon . The desire to discover what [they]_5557-they had said of [him]_154-ralph now came uppermost in [his]_176-rodney mind . [He]_176-rodney recalled [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s laugh ; [he]_176-rodney remembered that [she]_{129-katharine} had gone , laughing , to walk with [Denham]_154-ralph . “_[2493-you] Did [you]_2493-you stay long after [we]_2494-we ’d left ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked abruptly . “_[2493-you] No . [We]_2494-we went back to [[my]_0-i house]_{2495-my house} . ” This seemed to confirm [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s belief that [he]_154-ralph had been discussed . [He]_176-rodney turned over the unpalatable idea for a while , in silence . “_[2494-we] [Women]_557-women are [incomprehensible creatures]_{2497-incomprehensible creatures} , [Denham]_154-ralph ! ” [he]_176-rodney then exclaimed . “_[154-ralph] Um , ” said [Denham]_154-ralph , who seemed to [himself]_154-ralph possessed of complete understanding , not merely of [women]_557-women , but of [the entire universe]_{5559-the entire universe} . [He]_154-ralph could read [Rodney]_176-rodney , too , like a book . [He]_154-ralph knew that [he]_154-ralph was unhappy , and [he]_154-ralph pitied [him]_176-rodney , and wished to help [him]_176-rodney . “_[2498-you] [You]_2498-you say something and [they]_2499-they — fly into a passion . Or for no reason at all , [they]_2499-they laugh . [I]_0-i take it that no amount of education will — ” The remainder of the sentence was lost in the high wind , against which [they]_2499-they had to struggle ; but [Denham]_154-ralph understood that [he]_154-ralph referred to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s laughter , and that the memory of it was still hurting [him]_154-ralph . In comparison with [Rodney]_176-rodney , [Denham]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph very secure ; [he]_154-ralph saw [Rodney]_176-rodney as one of the lost birds dashed senseless against the glass ; one of the flying bodies of which the air was full . But [he]_154-ralph and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} were alone together , aloft , splendid , and luminous with a twofold radiance . [He]_154-ralph pitied [the unstable creature beside [him]_154-ralph]_{5560-the unstable creature beside him} ; [he]_154-ralph felt a desire to protect [him]_{5560-the unstable creature beside him} , exposed without the knowledge which made [his]_154-ralph own way so direct . [They]_5561-they were united as [the adventurous]_{5562-the adventurous} are united , though one reaches the goal and [the other]_{1230-the other} perishes by the way . “_[2500-you] [You]_2500-you could n’t laugh at [some one [you]_2500-you cared for]_{2501-some one you cared for} . ” This sentence , apparently addressed to [no other human being]_{5564-no other human being} , reached [Denham]_154-ralph ’s ears . The wind seemed to muffle it and fly away with it directly . Had [Rodney]_176-rodney spoken those words ? “_[2500-you] [You]_2500-you love [her]_2502-her . ” Was that [his]_176-rodney own voice , which seemed to sound in the air several yards in front of [him]_176-rodney ? “_[2502-her] [I]_0-i ’ve suffered tortures , [Denham]_154-ralph , tortures ! ” “_[0-i] Yes , yes , [I]_0-i know that . ” “_[0-i] [She]_2502-her ’s laughed at [me]_0-i . ” “_[2502-her] Never — to [me]_0-i . ” The wind blew a space between the words — blew them so far away that they seemed unspoken . “_[2502-her] How [I]_0-i ’ve loved [her]_2502-her ! ” This was certainly spoken by [the man at [Denham]_154-ralph ’s side]_{5565-the man at denham ’s side} . The voice had all the marks of [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s character , and recalled , with ; strange vividness , [his]_176-rodney personal appearance . [Denham]_154-ralph could see [him]_176-rodney against [the blank buildings and towers of the horizon]_{5566-the blank buildings and towers of the horizon} . [He]_154-ralph saw [him]_176-rodney dignified , exalted , and tragic , as [he]_176-rodney might have appeared thinking of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} alone in [[his]_176-rodney rooms]_{985-his rooms} at night . “_[2502-her] [I]_0-i am in love with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [myself]_0-i . That is why [I]_0-i am here to - night . ” [Ralph]_154-ralph spoke distinctly and deliberately , as if [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s confession had made this statement necessary . [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed something inarticulate . “_[0-i] Ah , [I]_0-i ’ve always known it , ” [he]_176-rodney cried , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve known it from the first . [You]_0-i ’ll marry [her]_{129-katharine} ! ” The cry had a note of despair in it . Again the wind intercepted [their]_2505-they words . [They]_2505-they said no more . At length [they]_2505-they drew up beneath a lamp - post , simultaneously . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i God]_{2503-my god} , [Denham]_154-ralph , what [fools]_2504-fools [we]_2505-they both are ! ” [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . [They]_2505-they looked at [each other]_{451-each other} , queerly , in the light of the lamp . [Fools]_2504-fools ! [They]_2505-they seemed to confess to [each other]_{451-each other} the extreme depths of [their]_2505-they folly . For the moment , under the lamp - post , [they]_2505-they seemed to be aware of some common knowledge which did away with the possibility of rivalry , and made [them]_2505-they feel more sympathy for [each other]_{451-each other} than for [any one else in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{592-any one else in the world} . Giving simultaneously a little nod , as if in confirmation of this understanding , [they]_2505-they parted without speaking again . Between twelve and one that Sunday night [Katharine]_{129-katharine} lay in bed , not asleep , but in that twilight region where a detached and humorous view of [our]_2505-they own lot is possible ; or if [we]_2505-they must be serious , [our]_2505-they seriousness is tempered by the swift oncome of slumber and oblivion . [She]_{129-katharine} saw the forms of [Ralph]_154-ralph , [William]_176-rodney , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and [herself]_{129-katharine} , as if [they]_2505-they were all equally unsubstantial , and , in putting off reality , had gained a kind of dignity which rested upon each impartially . Thus rid of any uncomfortable warmth of partisanship or load of obligation , [she]_{129-katharine} was dropping off to sleep when a light tap sounded upon [her]_{129-katharine} door . A moment later [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} stood beside [her]_{129-katharine} , holding a candle and speaking in the low tones proper to the time of night . “_[0-i] Are [you]_2506-you awake , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , [I]_0-i ’m awake . What is it ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} roused [herself]_{129-katharine} , sat up , and asked what in [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s name [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was doing ? “_[0-i] [I]_0-i could n’t sleep , and [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i ’d come and speak to [you]_2506-you — only for a moment , though . [I]_0-i ’m going [home]_2992-home to - morrow . ” “_[0-i] [Home]_2992-home ? Why , what has happened ? ” “_[0-i] Something happened to - day which makes it impossible for [me]_0-i to stay [here]_2985-here . ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} spoke formally , almost solemnly ; the announcement was clearly prepared and marked a crisis of the utmost gravity . [She]_{303-cassandra} continued what seemed to be part of a set speech . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have decided to tell [you]_2506-you the whole truth , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [William]_176-rodney allowed [himself]_176-rodney to behave in a way which made [me]_0-i extremely uncomfortable to - day . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to waken completely , and at once to be in control of [herself]_{129-katharine} . “_[176-rodney] At [the Zoo]_{5331-the zoo} ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[176-rodney] No , on the way [home]_2992-home . When [we]_2512-we had tea . ” As if foreseeing that the interview might be long , and the night chilly , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} advised [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to wrap [herself]_{303-cassandra} in a quilt . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} did so with unbroken solemnity . “_[176-rodney] There ’s [a train]_{3916-a train} at eleven , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i shall tell [Aunt Maggie]_233-maggie that [I]_0-i have to go suddenly .... [I]_0-i shall make [Violet]_358-violet ’s visit an excuse . But , after thinking it over , [I]_0-i do n’t see how [I]_0-i can go without telling [you]_2514-you the truth . ” [She]_{303-cassandra} was careful to abstain from looking in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s direction . There was a slight pause . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i do n’t see the least reason why [you]_2514-you should go , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} eventually . [Her]_{303-cassandra} voice sounded so astonishingly equable that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} glanced at [her]_{303-cassandra} . It was impossible to suppose that [she]_{303-cassandra} was either indignant or surprised ; [she]_{303-cassandra} seemed , on the contrary , sitting up in bed , with [her]_{303-cassandra} arms clasped round [her]_{303-cassandra} knees and a little frown on [her]_{303-cassandra} brow , to be thinking closely upon a matter of indifference to [her]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] Because [I]_0-i ca n’t allow [any man]_{1485-any man} to behave to [me]_0-i in that way , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied , and [she]_{303-cassandra} added , “_[0-i] particularly when [I]_0-i know that [he]_{1485-any man} is engaged to [some one else]_{1931-some one else} . ” “_{[1931-some one else]} But [you]_2514-you like [him]_{1485-any man} , do n’t [you]_2514-you ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} inquired . “_{[1485-any man]} That ’s got nothing to do with it , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed indignantly . “_{[1485-any man]} [I]_0-i consider [his]_{1485-any man} conduct , under the circumstances , most disgraceful . ” This was the last of the sentences of [her]_{303-cassandra} premeditated speech ; and having spoken it [she]_{303-cassandra} was left unprovided with any more to say in that particular style . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remarked : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should say it had everything to do with it , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s self - possession deserted [her]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t understand [you]_2514-you in the least , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . How can [you]_2514-you behave as [you]_2514-you behave ? Ever since [I]_0-i came [here]_2985-here [I]_0-i ’ve been amazed by [you]_2514-you ! ” “_[0-i] [You]_2514-you ’ve enjoyed [yourself]_2514-you , have n’t [you]_2514-you ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[2514-you] Yes , [I]_0-i have , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} admitted . “_[0-i] Anyhow , [my]_0-i behavior has n’t spoiled [your]_2514-you visit . ” “_[0-i] No , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} allowed once more . [She]_{303-cassandra} was completely at a loss . In [her]_{303-cassandra} forecast of the interview [she]_{303-cassandra} had taken it for granted that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , after an outburst of incredulity , would agree that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} must return [home]_2992-home as soon as possible . But [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , on the contrary , accepted [her]_{303-cassandra} statement at once , seemed neither shocked nor surprised , and merely looked rather more thoughtful than usual . From being [a mature woman charged with an important mission]_{5575-a mature woman charged with an important mission} , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} shrunk to the stature of [an inexperienced child]_{5576-an inexperienced child} . “_[0-i] Do [you]_2514-you think [I]_0-i ’ve been very foolish about it ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} asked . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} made no answer , but still sat deliberating silently , and a certain feeling of alarm took possession of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . Perhaps [her]_0-i words had struck far deeper than [she]_0-i had thought , into depths beyond [her]_0-i reach , as so much of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was beyond [her]_0-i reach . [She]_0-i thought suddenly that [she]_0-i had been playing with very dangerous tools . Looking at [her]_{303-cassandra} at length , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked slowly , as if [she]_{129-katharine} found the question very difficult to ask . “_[2514-you] But do [you]_0-i care for [William]_176-rodney ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} marked the agitation and bewilderment of [the girl]_{413-the girl} ’s expression , and how [she]_0-i looked away from [her]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i mean , am [I]_0-i in love with [him]_176-rodney ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asked , breathing quickly , and nervously moving [her]_{303-cassandra} hands . “_[0-i] Yes , in love with [him]_176-rodney , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . “_[0-i] How can [I]_0-i love [the man [you]_0-i ’re engaged to marry]_{2518-the man you ’re engaged to marry} ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} burst out . “_[176-rodney] [He]_176-rodney may be in love with [you]_0-i . ” “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i do n’t think [you]_0-i ’ve any right to say such things , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . “_{[129-katharine]} Why do [you]_0-i say them ? Do n’t [you]_0-i mind in the least how [William]_176-rodney behaves to [other women]_{2519-other women} ? If [I]_0-i were engaged , [I]_0-i could n’t bear it ! ” “_[0-i] [We]_2520-we ’re not engaged , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , after a pause . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} cried . “_{[129-katharine]} No , [we]_2520-we ’re not engaged , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . “_{[129-katharine]} But [no one]_{2921-no one} knows it but [ourselves]_2520-we . ” “_{[2921-no one]} But why — [I]_0-i do n’t understand — [you’re]_0-i not engaged ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} said again . “_{[2921-no one]} Oh , that explains it ! [You]_0-i ’re not in love with [him]_176-rodney ! [You]_0-i do n’t want to marry [him]_176-rodney ! ” “_[0-i] [We]_2520-we are n’t in love with each other any longer , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as if disposing of something for ever and ever . “_[0-i] How queer , how strange , how unlike [other people [you]_{129-katharine} are]_{2522-other people you are} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} said , [her]_{303-cassandra} whole body and voice seeming to fall and collapse together , and no trace of anger or excitement remaining , but only a dreamy quietude . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_0-i ’re not in love with [him]_176-rodney ? ” “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i love [him]_176-rodney , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} remained bowed , as if by the weight of the revelation , for some little while longer . Nor did [Katharine]_{129-katharine} speak . [Her]_{303-cassandra} attitude was that of [some one who wishes to be concealed as much as possible from observation]_{5578-some one who wishes to be concealed as much as possible from observation} . [She]_{303-cassandra} sighed profoundly ; [she]_{303-cassandra} was absolutely silent , and apparently overcome by [her]_{303-cassandra} thoughts . “_[0-i] D’you know what time it is ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said at length , and shook [her]_{303-cassandra} pillow , as if making ready for sleep . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} rose obediently , and once more took up [her]_{303-cassandra} candle . Perhaps the white dressing - gown , and the loosened hair , and something unseeing in the expression of the eyes gave [her]_{303-cassandra} a likeness to [a woman walking in [her]_{303-cassandra} sleep]_{5579-a woman walking in her sleep} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , at least , thought so . “_[0-i] There ’s no reason why [I]_0-i should go [home]_2992-home , then ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} said , pausing . “_[0-i] Unless [you]_0-i want [me]_0-i to go , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? What do [you]_0-i want [me]_0-i to do ? ” For the first time [their]_2524-their eyes met . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i wanted [us]_2524-their to fall in love , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , as if [she]_{303-cassandra} read the certainty there . But as [she]_{303-cassandra} looked [she]_{303-cassandra} saw a sight that surprised [her]_{303-cassandra} . The tears rose slowly in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s eyes and stood there , brimming but contained — the tears of some profound emotion , happiness , grief , renunciation ; an emotion so complex in its nature that to express it was impossible , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , bending [her]_{303-cassandra} head and receiving the tears upon [her]_{303-cassandra} cheek , accepted them in silence as the consecration of [her]_{303-cassandra} love . “_[0-i] Please , [miss]_2525-miss , ” said [the maid]_{522-the maid} , about eleven o’clock on the following morning , “_[2525-miss] [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} is in [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} . ” A long wicker basket of flowers and branches had arrived from [the country]_{761-the country} , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , kneeling upon the floor of [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , was sorting them while [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} watched [her]_{129-katharine} from an arm - chair , and absent - mindedly made spasmodic offers of help which were not accepted . [The maid]_{522-the maid} ’s message had a curious effect upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} rose , walked to the window , and , [the maid]_{522-the maid} being gone , said emphatically and even tragically : “_{[218-mrs. milvain]} [You]_2525-miss know what that means . ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had understood nothing . “_{[218-mrs. milvain]} [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} is in [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . “_{[219-aunt celia]} Why in [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} asked , not unnaturally . “_{[219-aunt celia]} Probably because [she]_{219-aunt celia} ’s discovered something , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s thoughts flew to the subject of [her]_{303-cassandra} preoccupation . “_{[219-aunt celia]} About [us]_2529-us ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} inquired . “_{[219-aunt celia]} [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} knows , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_{[219-aunt celia]} [I]_0-i sha n’t let [her]_{219-aunt celia} stay in [the kitchen]_{3975-the kitchen} , though . [I]_0-i shall bring [her]_{219-aunt celia} up [here]_2985-here . ” The sternness with which this was said suggested that to bring [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} [upstairs]_523-upstairs was , for some reason , a disciplinary measure . “_[0-i] For goodness ’ sake , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , jumping from [her]_{303-cassandra} chair and showing signs of agitation , “_[0-i] do n’t be rash . Do n’t let [her]_{219-aunt celia} suspect . Remember , nothing ’s certain — ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} assured [her]_{303-cassandra} by nodding [her]_{129-katharine} head several times , but the manner in which [she]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} was not calculated to inspire complete confidence in [her]_{129-katharine} diplomacy . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} was sitting , or rather perching , upon the edge of a chair in [the servants ’ room]_{5587-the servants ’ room} . Whether there was any sound reason for [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} choice of [a subterranean chamber]_{5588-a subterranean chamber} , or whether it corresponded with the spirit of [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} quest , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} invariably came in by the back door and sat in [[the servants]_{3323-the servants} ’ room]_{5587-the servants ’ room} when [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was engaged in confidential family transactions . The ostensible reason [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} gave was that neither [Mr.]_5591-mr. nor [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} should be disturbed . But , in truth , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} depended even more than [most elderly women of [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} generation]_{5592-most elderly women of her generation} upon the delicious emotions of intimacy , agony , and secrecy , and the additional thrill provided by [the basement]_{5391-the basement} was one not lightly to be forfeited . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} protested almost plaintively when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} proposed to go [upstairs]_523-upstairs . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve something that [I]_0-i want to say to [you]_0-i in private , ” [she]_0-i said , hesitating reluctantly upon the threshold of [[her]_0-i ambush]_{5595-her ambush} . “_[0-i] [The drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} is empty — ” “_[0-i] But [we]_2533-we might meet [[your]_0-i mother]_{3081-your mother} upon the stairs . [We]_2533-we might disturb [[your]_0-i father]_{1101-your father} , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} objected , taking the precaution to speak in a whisper already . But as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s presence was absolutely necessary to the success of the interview , and as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} obstinately receded up the [kitchen stairs]_{5596-kitchen stairs} , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} had no course but to follow [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} glanced furtively about [her]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} proceeded [upstairs]_523-upstairs , drew [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} skirts together , and stepped with circumspection past all doors , whether they were open or shut . “_[2533-we] [Nobody]_2970-nobody will overhear [us]_2533-we ? ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} murmured , when the comparative sanctuary of [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} had been reached . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i see that [I]_0-i have interrupted [you]_0-i , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} added , glancing at the flowers strewn upon the floor . A moment later [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} inquired , “_[0-i] Was [some one]_{376-some one} sitting with [you]_0-i ? ” noticing a handkerchief that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had dropped in [her]_{303-cassandra} flight . “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was helping [me]_0-i to put the flowers in water , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} spoke so firmly and clearly that [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} glanced nervously at the main door and then at the curtain which divided [the little room]_{443-the little room} with the relics from [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} . “_{[303-cassandra]} Ah , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} is still with [you]_0-i , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} remarked . “_{[303-cassandra]} And did [William]_176-rodney send [you]_0-i those lovely flowers ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sat down opposite [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} and said neither yes nor no . [She]_{129-katharine} looked past [her]_{3393-her aunt} , and it might have been thought that [she]_{129-katharine} was considering very critically the pattern of the curtains . Another advantage of [the basement]_{5391-the basement} , from [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} ’s point of view , was that it made it necessary to sit very close together , and the light was dim compared with that which now poured through three windows upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and the basket of flowers , and gave even the slight angular figure of [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} a halo of gold . “_[176-rodney] [They]_2538-they ’re from [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} abruptly , with a little jerk of [her]_{129-katharine} head . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} felt that it would be easier to tell [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} niece]_{3681-her niece} what [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} wished to say if [they]_5604-they were actually in physical contact , for the spiritual distance between [them]_5604-they was formidable . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , however , made no overtures , and [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , who was possessed of rash but heroic courage , plunged without preface : “_[2538-they] [People]_383-people are talking about [you]_2540-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . That is why [I]_0-i have come this morning . [You]_2540-you forgive [me]_0-i for saying what [I]_0-i ’d much rather not say ? What [I]_0-i say is only for [your]_2540-you own sake , [[my]_0-i child]_{2541-my child} . ” “_[0-i] There ’s nothing to forgive yet , [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with apparent good humor . “_{[219-aunt celia]} [People]_383-people are saying that [William]_176-rodney goes everywhere with [you]_2540-you and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and that [he]_176-rodney is always paying [her]_{303-cassandra} attentions . At [the Markhams]_{2543-the markhams} ’ dance [he]_176-rodney sat out five dances with [her]_{303-cassandra} . At [the Zoo]_{5331-the zoo} [they]_2545-they were seen alone together . [They]_2545-they left together . [They]_2545-they never came back [here]_2985-here till seven in the evening . But that is not all . [They]_383-people say [his]_176-rodney manner is very marked — [he]_176-rodney is quite different when [she]_{303-cassandra} is there . ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [, whose words had run themselves together , and whose voice had raised its tone almost to one of protest]_{5605-, whose words had run themselves together , and whose voice had raised its tone almost to one of protest} , here ceased , and looked intently at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as if to judge the effect of [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} communication . A slight rigidity had passed over [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s face . [Her]_{129-katharine} lips were pressed together ; [her]_{129-katharine} eyes were contracted , and they were still fixed upon the curtain . These superficial changes covered an extreme inner loathing such as might follow the display of some hideous or indecent spectacle . The indecent spectacle was [her]_{129-katharine} own action beheld for the first time from the outside ; [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} ’s words made [her]_{129-katharine} realize how infinitely repulsive the body of life is without its soul . “_[176-rodney] Well ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} said at length . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} made a gesture as if to bring [her]_{129-katharine} closer , but it was not returned . “_[176-rodney] [We]_2547-we all know how good [you]_2548-you are — how unselfish — how [you]_2548-you sacrifice [yourself]_2548-you to [others]_1056-others . But [you]_2548-you ’ve been too unselfish , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [You]_2548-you have made [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} happy , and [she]_{303-cassandra} has taken advantage of [your]_2548-you goodness . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i do n’t understand , [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_{[219-aunt celia]} What has [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} done ? ” “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} has behaved in a way that [I]_0-i could not have thought possible , ” said [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} warmly . “_{[303-cassandra]} [She]_{303-cassandra} has been utterly selfish — utterly heartless . [I]_0-i must speak to [her]_{303-cassandra} before [I]_0-i go . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t understand , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} persisted . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} looked at [her]_{129-katharine} . Was it possible that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} really doubted ? That there was something that [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} did not understand ? [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} braced [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} , and pronounced the tremendous words : “_[0-i] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} has stolen [William]_176-rodney ’s love . ” Still the words seemed to have curiously little effect . “_{[303-cassandra]} Do [you]_0-i mean , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_{[303-cassandra]} that [he]_176-rodney has fallen in love with [her]_{303-cassandra} ? ” “_[176-rodney] There are ways of making [men]_719-men fall in love with [one]_422-one , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} remained silent . The silence alarmed [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , and [she]_0-i began hurriedly : “_{[129-katharine]} Nothing would have made [me]_0-i say these things but [your]_{129-katharine} own good . [I]_0-i have not wished to interfere ; [I]_0-i have not wished to give [you]_{129-katharine} pain . [I]_0-i am [a useless old woman]_{2552-a useless old woman} . [I]_0-i have [no children]_{2553-no children} of [my]_0-i own . [I]_0-i only want to see [you]_{129-katharine} happy , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” Again [she]_0-i stretched forth [her]_0-i arms , but they remained empty . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} are not going to say these things to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} suddenly . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve said them to [me]_0-i ; that ’s enough . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} spoke so low and with such restraint that [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} had to strain to catch [her]_{129-katharine} words , and when [she]_{129-katharine} heard them [she]_{129-katharine} was dazed by them . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve made [you]_{129-katharine} angry ! [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i should ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . [She]_0-i quivered , and a kind of sob shook [her]_0-i ; but even to have made [Katharine]_{129-katharine} angry was some relief , and allowed [her]_{129-katharine} to feel some of the agreeable sensations of martyrdom . “_[0-i] Yes , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , standing up , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m so angry that [I]_0-i do n’t want to say anything more . [I]_0-i think [you]_{129-katharine} ’d better go , [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} . [We]_2554-we do n’t understand [each other]_{451-each other} . ” At these words [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} looked for a moment terribly apprehensive ; [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} glanced at [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} niece]_{3681-her niece} ’s face , but read no pity there , whereupon [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} folded [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} hands upon a black velvet bag which [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} carried in an attitude that was almost one of prayer . Whatever divinity [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} prayed to , if pray [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} did , at any rate [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} recovered [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} dignity in a singular way and faced [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} niece]_{3681-her niece} . “_[2554-we] Married love , ” [she]_0-i said slowly and with emphasis upon every word , “_[212-mamma] is the most sacred of all loves . The love of [husband]_2556-husband and [wife]_2557-wife is the most holy [we]_2554-we know . That is the lesson [[Mamma]_212-mamma ’s children]_{2558-mamma ’s children} learnt from [her]_212-mamma ; that is what [they]_{2558-mamma ’s children} can never forget . [I]_0-i have tried to speak as [she]_212-mamma would have wished [[her]_212-mamma daughter]_{373-her daughter} to speak . [You]_{373-her daughter} are [[her]_212-mamma grandchild]_{2560-her grandchild} . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to judge this defence upon its merits , and then to convict it of falsity . “_{[373-her daughter]} [I]_0-i do n’t see that there is any excuse for [your]_{373-her daughter} behavior , ” [she]_0-i said . At these words [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} rose and stood for a moment beside [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} niece]_{3681-her niece} . [She]_{129-katharine} had never met with such treatment before , and [she]_{129-katharine} did not know with what weapons to break down the terrible wall of resistance offered [her]_{129-katharine} by [one who , by virtue of youth and beauty and sex , should have been all tears and supplications]_{5610-one who , by virtue of youth and beauty and sex , should have been all tears and supplications} . But [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} was obstinate ; upon a matter of this kind [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} could not admit that [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was either beaten or mistaken . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} beheld [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} the champion of married love in its purity and supremacy ; what [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} niece]_{3681-her niece} stood for [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was quite unable to say , but [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was filled with the gravest suspicions . [The old woman]_{5612-the old woman} and [the young woman]_{1248-the young woman} stood side by side in unbroken silence . [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} could not make up [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} mind to withdraw while [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} principles trembled in the balance and [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} curiosity remained unappeased . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} ransacked [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} mind for some question that should force [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to enlighten [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} , but the supply was limited , the choice difficult , and while [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} hesitated the door opened and [William Rodney]_176-rodney came in . [He]_176-rodney carried in [his]_176-rodney hand an enormous and splendid bunch of white and purple flowers , and , either not seeing [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , or disregarding [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} , [he]_176-rodney advanced straight to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and presented the flowers with the words : “_[0-i] These are for [you]_2561-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} took them with a glance that [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} did not fail to intercept . But with all [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} experience , [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} did not know what to make of it . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} watched anxiously for further illumination . [William]_176-rodney greeted [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} without obvious sign of guilt , and , explaining that [he]_176-rodney had a holiday , both [he]_176-rodney and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to take it for granted that [his]_176-rodney holiday should be celebrated with flowers and spent in [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} . A pause followed ; that , too , was natural ; and [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} began to feel that [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} laid [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} open to a charge of selfishness if [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} stayed . The mere presence of [a young man]_{378-a young man} had altered [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} disposition curiously , and filled [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} with a desire for a scene which should end in an emotional forgiveness . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} would have given much to clasp [both nephew]_{5615-both nephew} and [niece]_5616-niece in [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} arms . But [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} could not flatter [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} that any hope of the customary exaltation remained . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must go , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} said , and [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was conscious of an extreme flatness of spirit . [Neither of [them]_{5615-both nephew}]_{5244-neither of them} said anything to stop [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} . [William]_176-rodney politely escorted [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , and somehow , amongst [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} protests and embarrassments , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} forgot to say good - bye to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} departed , murmuring words about masses of flowers and [a drawing - room]_{556-a drawing - room} always beautiful even in the depths of winter . [William]_176-rodney came back to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [he]_176-rodney found [her]_{129-katharine} standing where [he]_176-rodney had left [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve come to be forgiven , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[0-i] [Our]_2562-us quarrel was perfectly hateful to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i ’ve not slept all night . [You]_2563-you ’re not angry with [me]_0-i , are [you]_2563-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} could not bring [herself]_{129-katharine} to answer [him]_176-rodney until [she]_{129-katharine} had rid [her]_{129-katharine} mind of the impression that [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} had made on [her]_{129-katharine} . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that the very flowers were contaminated , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s pocket - handkerchief , for [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} had used them for evidence in [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} investigations . “_[2564-she] [She]_2564-she ’s been spying upon [us]_2562-us , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} said , “_[2564-she] following [us]_2562-us about [London]_2-london , overhearing what [people]_383-people are saying — ” “_[383-people] [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} ? ” [Rodney]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_{[218-mrs. milvain]} What has [she]_2564-she told [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} ? ” [His]_176-rodney air of open confidence entirely vanished . “_[2564-she] Oh , [people]_383-people are saying that [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} ’re in love with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , and that [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} do n’t care for [me]_0-i . ” “_{[218-mrs. milvain]} [They]_383-people have seen [us]_2562-us ? ” [he]_176-rodney asked . “_[383-people] Everything [we]_2562-us ’ve done for a fortnight has been seen . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i told [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} that would happen ! ” [he]_176-rodney exclaimed . [He]_176-rodney walked to the window in evident perturbation . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was too indignant to attend to [him]_176-rodney . [She]_{129-katharine} was swept away by the force of [her]_{129-katharine} own anger . Clasping [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s flowers , [she]_{129-katharine} stood upright and motionless . [Rodney]_176-rodney turned away from the window . “_[0-i] It ’s all been a mistake , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i blame [myself]_0-i for it . [I]_0-i should have known better . [I]_0-i let [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} persuade [me]_0-i in a moment of madness . [I]_0-i beg [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} to forget [my]_0-i insanity , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_[2567-she] [She]_2567-she wished even to persecute [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} burst out , not listening to [him]_2567-she . “_[2567-she] [She]_2567-she threatened to speak to [her]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_2567-she ’s capable of it — [she]_2567-she ’s capable of anything ! ” “_[2567-she] [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} is not tactful , [I]_0-i know , but [you]_{218-mrs. milvain} exaggerate , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [People]_383-people are talking about [us]_2569-us . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} was right to tell [us]_2569-us . It only confirms [my]_0-i own feeling — the position is monstrous . ” At length [Katharine]_{129-katharine} realized some part of what [he]_176-rodney meant . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i do n’t mean that this influences [you]_0-i , [William]_176-rodney ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked in amazement . “_[0-i] It does , ” [he]_176-rodney said , flushing . “_[0-i] It ’s intensely disagreeable to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i ca n’t endure that [people]_383-people should gossip about [us]_2569-us . And then there ’s [[your]_0-i cousin]_{2199-your cousin} — [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — ” [He]_176-rodney paused in embarrassment . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i came here this morning , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney resumed , with a change of voice , “_[0-i] to ask [you]_{129-katharine} to forget [my]_0-i folly , [my]_0-i bad temper , [my]_0-i inconceivable behavior . [I]_0-i came , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , to ask whether [we]_2569-us ca n’t return to the position [we]_2569-us were in before this — this season of lunacy . Will [you]_{129-katharine} take [me]_0-i back , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , once more and for ever ? ” No doubt [her]_{129-katharine} beauty , intensified by emotion and enhanced by the flowers of bright color and strange shape which [she]_{129-katharine} carried wrought upon [Rodney]_176-rodney , and had its share in bestowing upon [her]_{129-katharine} the old romance . But a less noble passion worked in [him]_176-rodney , too ; [he]_176-rodney was inflamed by jealousy . [His]_176-rodney tentative offer of affection had been rudely and , as [he]_176-rodney thought , completely repulsed by [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} on the preceding day . [Denham]_154-ralph ’s confession was in [his]_176-rodney mind . And ultimately , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s dominion over [him]_176-rodney was of the sort that the fevers of the night can not exorcise . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i was as much to blame as [you]_0-i were yesterday , ” [she]_0-i said gently , disregarding [his]_176-rodney question . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i confess , [William]_176-rodney , the sight of [you]_0-i and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} together made [me]_0-i jealous , and [I]_0-i could n’t control [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i laughed at [you]_0-i , [I]_0-i know . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i jealous ! ” [William]_176-rodney exclaimed . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i assure [you]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_0-i ’ve not the slightest reason to be jealous . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} dislikes [me]_0-i , so far as [she]_{303-cassandra} feels about [me]_0-i at all . [I]_0-i was foolish enough to try to explain the nature of [our]_2572-our relationship . [I]_0-i could n’t resist telling [her]_{303-cassandra} what [I]_0-i supposed [myself]_0-i to feel for [her]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_{303-cassandra} refused to listen , very rightly . But [she]_{303-cassandra} left [me]_0-i in no doubt of [her]_{303-cassandra} scorn . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} hesitated . [She]_{129-katharine} was confused , agitated , physically tired , and had already to reckon with the violent feeling of dislike aroused by [[her]_{129-katharine} aunt]_{3393-her aunt} which still vibrated through all the rest of [her]_{129-katharine} feelings . [She]_{129-katharine} sank into a chair and dropped [her]_{129-katharine} flowers upon [her]_{129-katharine} lap . “_{[303-cassandra]} [She]_{303-cassandra} charmed [me]_0-i , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney continued . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i loved [her]_{303-cassandra} . But that ’s a thing of the past . It ’s all over , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . It was a dream — an hallucination . [We]_2573-we were both equally to blame , but no harm ’s done if [you]_{129-katharine} believe how truly [I]_0-i care for [you]_{129-katharine} . Say [you]_{129-katharine} believe [me]_0-i ! ” [He]_176-rodney stood over [her]_{129-katharine} , as if in readiness to seize the first sign of [her]_{129-katharine} assent . Precisely at that moment , owing , perhaps , to [her]_{129-katharine} vicissitudes of feeling , all sense of love left [her]_{129-katharine} , as in a moment a mist lifts from [the earth]_{2936-the earth} . And when the mist departed a skeleton world and blankness alone remained — a terrible prospect for the eyes of [the living]_{4618-the living} to behold . [He]_176-rodney saw the look of terror in [her]_{129-katharine} face , and without understanding its origin , took [her]_{129-katharine} hand in [his]_176-rodney . With the sense of companionship returned a desire , like that of [a child]_{541-a child} for shelter , to accept what [he]_176-rodney had to offer [her]_{129-katharine} — and at that moment it seemed that [he]_176-rodney offered [her]_{129-katharine} the only thing that could make it tolerable to live . [She]_{129-katharine} let [him]_176-rodney press [his]_176-rodney lips to [her]_{129-katharine} cheek , and leant [her]_{129-katharine} head upon [his]_176-rodney arm . It was the moment of [his]_176-rodney triumph . It was the only moment in which [she]_{129-katharine} belonged to [him]_176-rodney and was dependent upon [his]_176-rodney protection . “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , yes , yes , ” [he]_176-rodney murmured , “_[2574-you] [you]_2574-you accept [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [You]_2574-you love [me]_0-i . ” For a moment [she]_{129-katharine} remained silent . [He]_176-rodney then heard [her]_{129-katharine} murmur : “_[2574-you] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} loves [you]_0-i more than [I]_0-i do . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? ” [he]_176-rodney whispered . “_{[303-cassandra]} [She]_{303-cassandra} loves [you]_0-i , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated . [She]_{129-katharine} raised [herself]_{129-katharine} and repeated the sentence yet a third time . “_{[303-cassandra]} [She]_{303-cassandra} loves [you]_0-i . ” [William]_176-rodney slowly raised [himself]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney believed instinctively what [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , but what it meant to [him]_176-rodney [he]_176-rodney was unable to understand . Could [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} love [him]_176-rodney ? Could [she]_{303-cassandra} have told [Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{303-cassandra} loved [him]_176-rodney ? The desire to know the truth of this was urgent , unknown though the consequences might be . The thrill of excitement associated with the thought of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} once more took possession of [him]_176-rodney . No longer was it the excitement of anticipation and ignorance ; it was the excitement of something greater than a possibility , for now [he]_176-rodney knew [her]_{129-katharine} and had measure of the sympathy between [them]_5625-them . But who could give [him]_176-rodney certainty ? Could [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [[Katharine]_{129-katharine} who had lately lain in [his]_176-rodney arms]_{5626-katharine who had lately lain in his arms} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} [the most admired of [women]_557-women]_{5627-the most admired of women} ? [He]_176-rodney looked at [her]_{129-katharine} , with doubt , and with anxiety , but said nothing . “_{[303-cassandra]} Yes , yes , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , interpreting [his]_176-rodney wish for assurance , “_[0-i] it ’s true . [I]_0-i know what [she]_0-i feels for [you]_2575-he . ” “_[0-i] [She]_0-i loves [me]_0-i ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} nodded . “_[0-i] Ah , but who knows what [I]_0-i feel ? How can [I]_0-i be sure of [my]_0-i feeling [myself]_0-i ? Ten minutes ago [I]_0-i asked [you]_0-i to marry [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i still wish it — [I]_0-i do n’t know what [I]_0-i wish — ” [He]_2575-he clenched [his]_2575-he hands and turned away . [He]_2575-he suddenly faced [her]_0-i and demanded : “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i what [you]_0-i feel for [Denham]_154-ralph . ” “_[0-i] For [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_0-i asked . “_[0-i] Yes ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , as if [she]_0-i had found the answer to some momentarily perplexing question . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re jealous of [me]_0-i , [William]_176-rodney ; but [you]_0-i ’re not in love with [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i ’m jealous of [you]_0-i . Therefore , for both [our]_2576-our sakes , [I]_0-i say , speak to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} at once . ” [He]_2575-he tried to compose [himself]_2575-he . [He]_2575-he walked up and down [the room]_{379-the room} ; [he]_2575-he paused at the window and surveyed the flowers strewn upon the floor . Meanwhile [his]_2575-he desire to have [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s assurance confirmed became so insistent that [he]_2575-he could no longer deny the overmastering strength of [his]_2575-he feeling for [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re right , ” [he]_2575-he exclaimed , coming to a standstill and rapping [his]_2575-he knuckles sharply upon a small table carrying one slender vase . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . ” As [he]_2575-he said this , the curtains hanging at the door of [the little room]_{443-the little room} parted , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} [herself]_{303-cassandra} stepped forth . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have overheard every word ! ” [she]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . A pause succeeded this announcement . [Rodney]_176-rodney made a step forward and said : “_[0-i] Then [you]_0-i know what [I]_0-i wish to ask [you]_0-i . Give [me]_0-i [your]_0-i answer — ” [She]_{303-cassandra} put [her]_{303-cassandra} hands before [her]_{303-cassandra} face ; [she]_{303-cassandra} turned away and seemed to shrink from both of [them]_2577-we . “_[0-i] What [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} murmured . “_{[129-katharine]} But , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} added , raising [her]_{303-cassandra} head with a look of fear from the kiss with which [he]_5631-he greeted [her]_{303-cassandra} admission , “_{[129-katharine]} how frightfully difficult it all is ! [Our]_2577-we feelings , [I]_0-i mean — [yours]_2578-yours and [mine]_0-i and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , tell [me]_0-i , are [we]_2577-we doing right ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Right — of course [we]_2577-we ’re doing right , ” [William]_176-rodney answered [her]_{129-katharine} , “_{[129-katharine]} if , after what [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve heard , [you]_{129-katharine} can marry [a man of such incomprehensible confusion , such deplorable]_{2579-a man of such incomprehensible confusion , such deplorable} — ” “_{[129-katharine]} Do n’t , [William]_176-rodney , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} interposed ; “_[176-rodney] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} has heard [us]_2577-we ; [she]_{303-cassandra} can judge what [we]_2577-we are ; [she]_{303-cassandra} knows better than [we]_2577-we could tell [her]_{303-cassandra} . ” But , still holding [William]_176-rodney ’s hand , questions and desires welled up in [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s heart . Had [she]_{303-cassandra} done wrong in listening ? Why did [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} blame [her]_{303-cassandra} ? Did [Katharine]_{129-katharine} think [her]_{303-cassandra} right ? Above all , did [William]_176-rodney really love [her]_{303-cassandra} , for ever and ever , better than [any one]_{2939-any one} ? “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i must be first with [him]_176-rodney , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ca n’t share [him]_176-rodney even with [you]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i shall never ask that , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} moved a little away from where [they]_2580-they sat and began half - consciously sorting [her]_{129-katharine} flowers . “_{[129-katharine]} But [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve shared with [me]_0-i , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} said . “_{[129-katharine]} Why ca n’t [I]_0-i share with [you]_{129-katharine} ? Why am [I]_0-i so mean ? [I]_0-i know why it is , ” [she]_0-i added . “_[0-i] [We]_2580-they understand [each other]_{451-each other} , [William]_176-rodney and [I.]_0-i [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve never understood [each other]_{451-each other} . [You]_{129-katharine} ’re too different . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve never admired [anybody]_1337-anybody more , ” [William]_176-rodney interposed . “_[0-i] It ’s not that”—Cassandra tried to enlighten [him—“it]_{5633-him—“it[0-i]} ’s understanding . ” “_[0-i] Have [I]_0-i never understood [you]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? Have [I]_0-i been very selfish ? ” “_[0-i] Yes , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} interposed . “_[0-i] [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve asked [her]_{129-katharine} for sympathy , and [she]_{129-katharine} ’s not sympathetic ; [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve wanted [her]_{129-katharine} to be practical , and [she]_{129-katharine} ’s not practical . [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve been selfish ; [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve been exacting — and so has [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — but it was n’t [anybody]_1337-anybody ’s fault . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had listened to this attempt at analysis with keen attention . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s words seemed to rub the old blurred image of life and freshen it so marvelously that it looked new again . [She]_{303-cassandra} turned to [William]_176-rodney . “_{[1337-anybody]} It ’s quite true , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said . “_{[1337-anybody]} It was [nobody]_2970-nobody ’s fault . ” “_{[2970-nobody]} There are many things that [he]_2586-he ’ll always come to [you]_{129-katharine} for , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} continued , still reading from [her]_{303-cassandra} invisible book . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i accept that , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [I]_0-i shall never dispute it . [I]_0-i want to be generous as [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve been generous . But being in love makes it more difficult for [me]_0-i . ” [They]_2587-we were silent . At length [William]_176-rodney broke the silence . “_{[129-katharine]} One thing [I]_0-i beg of [you]_{129-katharine} both , ” [he]_176-rodney said , and the old nervousness of manner returned as [he]_176-rodney glanced at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [We]_2587-we will never discuss these matters again . It ’s not that [I]_0-i ’m timid and conventional , as [you]_{129-katharine} think , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . It ’s that it spoils things to discuss them ; it unsettles [people]_383-people ’s minds ; and now [we]_2587-we ’re all so happy — ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ratified this conclusion so far as [she]_{303-cassandra} was concerned , and [William]_176-rodney , after receiving the exquisite pleasure of [her]_{303-cassandra} glance , with its absolute affection and trust , looked anxiously at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Yes , [I]_0-i ’m happy , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} assured [him]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] And [I]_0-i agree . [We]_2587-we will never talk about it again . ” “_[2587-we] Oh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} cried , holding out [her]_{303-cassandra} arms while the tears ran down [her]_{303-cassandra} cheeks . The day was so different from other days to [three people in [the house]_{377-the house}]_{5634-three people in the house} that the common routine of [household]_{5636-household} life — [the maid waiting at table]_{5637-the maid waiting at table} , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} writing a letter , the clock striking , and the door opening , and all the other signs of long - established civilization appeared suddenly to have no meaning save as [they]_{5634-three people in the house} lulled [Mr.]_5638-mr. and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} into the belief that nothing unusual had taken place . It chanced that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was depressed without visible cause , unless a certain crudeness verging upon coarseness in the temper of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} favorite [Elizabethans]_{186-the elizabethans} could be held responsible for the mood . At any rate , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had shut up “_{[129-katharine]} [The Duchess of Malfi]_{359-the duchess of malfi} ” with a sigh , and wished to know , so [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} told [Rodney]_176-rodney at dinner , whether there was n’t [some young writer with a touch of the great spirit]_{5639-some young writer with a touch of the great spirit} — somebody who made [you]_5640-you believe that life was beautiful ? [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} got little help from [Rodney]_176-rodney , and after singing [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} plaintive requiem for the death of poetry by [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} charmed [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} into good spirits again by remembering the existence of [Mozart]_190-mozart . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} begged [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to play to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , and when [they]_5641-they went [upstairs]_523-upstairs [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} opened the piano directly , and did [her]_{303-cassandra} best to create an atmosphere of unmixed beauty . At the sound of the first notes [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Rodney]_176-rodney both felt an enormous sense of relief at the license which the music gave [them]_5641-they to loosen [their]_5641-they hold upon the mechanism of behavior . [They]_5641-they lapsed into the depths of thought . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was soon spirited away into a perfectly congenial mood , that was half reverie and half slumber , half delicious melancholy and half pure bliss . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} alone attended . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was extremely musical , and made [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} aware that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} listened to every note . [She]_{303-cassandra} played [her]_{303-cassandra} best , and won [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} approval . Leaning slightly forward in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} chair , and turning [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} little green stone , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} weighed the intention of [her]_{303-cassandra} phrases approvingly , but stopped [her]_{303-cassandra} suddenly to complain of a noise behind [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . The window was unhasped . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} signed to [Rodney]_176-rodney , who crossed [the room]_{379-the room} immediately to put the matter right . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} stayed a moment longer by the window than was , perhaps , necessary , and having done what was needed , drew [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} chair a little closer than before to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s side . The music went on . Under cover of some exquisite run of melody , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} leant towards [her]_{129-katharine} and whispered something . [She]_{129-katharine} glanced at [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} and [mother]_2916-mother , and a moment later left [the room]_{379-the room} , almost unobserved , with [Rodney]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] What is it ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked , as soon as the door was shut . [Rodney]_176-rodney made no answer , but led [her]_{129-katharine} downstairs into [the dining - room on [the ground floor]_{617-the ground floor}]_{5647-the dining - room on the ground floor} . Even when [he]_176-rodney had shut the door [he]_176-rodney said nothing , but went straight to the window and parted the curtains . [He]_176-rodney beckoned to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] There [he]_2589-he is again , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[2589-he] Look , there — under the lamp - post . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked . [She]_{129-katharine} had no idea what [Rodney]_176-rodney was talking about . A vague feeling of alarm and mystery possessed [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} saw a man standing on the opposite side of [the road]_{941-the road} facing [the house]_{377-the house} beneath a lamp - post . As [they]_5651-they looked [the figure]_{5652-the figure} turned , walked a few steps , and came back again to [his]_{5652-the figure} old position . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that [he]_176-rodney was looking fixedly at [her]_{129-katharine} , and was conscious of [her]_{129-katharine} gaze on [him]_176-rodney . [She]_{129-katharine} knew , in a flash , who [the man]_{3095-the man} was who was watching [them]_5651-they . [She]_{129-katharine} drew the curtain abruptly . “_[154-ralph] [Denham]_154-ralph , ” said [Rodney]_176-rodney . “_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph was [there]_2927-there last night too . ” [He]_176-rodney spoke sternly . [His]_176-rodney whole manner had become full of authority . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} felt almost as if [he]_176-rodney accused [her]_{129-katharine} of some crime . [She]_{129-katharine} was pale and uncomfortably agitated , as much by the strangeness of [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s behavior as by the sight of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . “_[154-ralph] If [he]_154-ralph chooses to come — ” [she]_{129-katharine} said defiantly . “_[154-ralph] [You]_154-ralph ca n’t let [him]_154-ralph wait out there . [I]_0-i shall tell [him]_154-ralph to come in . ” [Rodney]_176-rodney spoke with such decision that when [he]_176-rodney raised [his]_176-rodney arm [Katharine]_{129-katharine} expected [him]_176-rodney to draw the curtain instantly . [She]_{129-katharine} caught [his]_176-rodney hand with a little exclamation . “_[0-i] Wait ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} cried . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t allow [you]_154-ralph . ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ca n’t wait , ” [he]_176-rodney replied . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ve gone too far . ” [His]_176-rodney hand remained upon the curtain . “_[0-i] Why do n’t [you]_0-i admit , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_176-rodney broke out , looking at [her]_0-i with an expression of contempt as well as of anger , “_[0-i] that [you]_0-i love [him]_154-ralph ? Are [you]_0-i going to treat [him]_154-ralph as [you]_0-i treated [me]_0-i ? ” [She]_0-i looked at [him]_176-rodney , wondering , in spite of all [her]_0-i perplexity , at the spirit that possessed [him]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i forbid [you]_154-ralph to draw the curtain , ” [she]_0-i said . [He]_176-rodney reflected , and then took [his]_176-rodney hand away . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve no right to interfere , ” [he]_176-rodney concluded . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll leave [you]_0-i . Or , if [you]_0-i like , [we]_2591-we ’ll go back to [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} . ” “_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i ca n’t go back , ” [she]_0-i said , shaking [her]_0-i head . [She]_0-i bent [her]_0-i head in thought . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i love [him]_154-ralph , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney said suddenly . [His]_176-rodney tone had lost something of its sternness , and might have been used to urge [a child]_{541-a child} to confess [its]_{541-a child} fault . [She]_0-i raised [her]_0-i eyes and fixed them upon [him]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [him]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_0-i repeated . [He]_176-rodney nodded . [She]_0-i searched [his]_176-rodney face , as if for further confirmation of [his]_176-rodney words , and , as [he]_176-rodney remained silent and expectant , turned away once more and continued [her]_0-i thoughts . [He]_176-rodney observed [her]_0-i closely , but without stirring , as if [he]_176-rodney gave [her]_0-i time to make up [her]_0-i mind to fulfil [her]_0-i obvious duty . The strains of [Mozart]_190-mozart reached [them]_5655-their from [the room above]_{5656-the room above} . “_[154-ralph] Now , ” [she]_0-i said suddenly , with a sort of desperation , rising from [her]_0-i chair and seeming to command [Rodney]_176-rodney to fulfil [his]_176-rodney part . [He]_176-rodney drew the curtain instantly , and [she]_0-i made no attempt to stop [him]_176-rodney . [Their]_5655-their eyes at once sought the same spot beneath the lamp - post . “_[154-ralph] [He]_2593-he ’s not [there]_2927-there ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . [No one]_{2921-no one} was [there]_2927-there . [William]_176-rodney threw the window up and looked out . The wind rushed into [the room]_{379-the room} , together with the sound of distant wheels , footsteps hurrying along [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} , and the cries of sirens hooting down [the river]_{945-the river} . “_[2593-he] [Denham]_131-denham ! ” [William]_176-rodney cried . “_[154-ralph] [Ralph]_154-ralph ! ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but [she]_{129-katharine} spoke scarcely louder than [she]_{129-katharine} might have spoken to [some one in [the same room]_{563-the same room}]_{5662-some one in the same room} . With [their]_5655-their eyes fixed upon the opposite side of [the road]_{941-the road} , [they]_5655-their did not notice a figure close to the railing which divided [the garden]_{3362-the garden} from [the street]_{397-the street} . But [Denham]_154-ralph had crossed [the road]_{941-the road} and was standing there . [They]_5655-their were startled by [his]_154-ralph voice close at hand . “_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney ! ” “_[176-rodney] There [you]_176-rodney are ! Come in , [Denham]_154-ralph . ” [Rodney]_176-rodney went to the front door and opened it . “_[154-ralph] Here [he]_154-ralph is , ” [he]_176-rodney said , bringing [Ralph]_154-ralph with [him]_176-rodney into [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} where [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stood , with [her]_{129-katharine} back to the open window . [Their]_5655-their eyes met for a second . [Denham]_154-ralph looked half dazed by the strong light , and , buttoned in [his]_154-ralph overcoat , with [his]_154-ralph hair ruffled across [his]_154-ralph forehead by the wind , [he]_154-ralph seemed like somebody rescued from an open boat out at [sea]_5669-sea . [William]_176-rodney promptly shut the window and drew the curtains . [He]_176-rodney acted with a cheerful decision as if [he]_176-rodney were master of the situation , and knew exactly what [he]_176-rodney meant to do . “_[154-ralph] [You]_154-ralph ’re the first to hear the news , [Denham]_154-ralph , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[154-ralph] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is n’t going to marry [me]_0-i , after all . ” “_{[129-katharine]} Where shall [I]_0-i put — ” [Ralph]_154-ralph began vaguely , holding out [his]_154-ralph hat and glancing about [him]_154-ralph ; [he]_154-ralph balanced it carefully against a silver bowl that stood upon the sideboard . [He]_154-ralph then sat [himself]_154-ralph down rather heavily at the head of the oval dinner - table . [Rodney]_176-rodney stood on one side of [him]_154-ralph and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} on the other . [He]_176-rodney appeared to be presiding over some meeting from which most of [the members]_{5670-the members} were absent . Meanwhile , [he]_176-rodney waited , and [his]_176-rodney eyes rested upon the glow of the beautifully polished mahogany table . “_[0-i] [William]_176-rodney is engaged to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} briefly . At that [Denham]_154-ralph looked up quickly at [Rodney]_176-rodney . [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s expression changed . [He]_176-rodney lost [his]_176-rodney self - possession . [He]_176-rodney smiled a little nervously , and then [his]_176-rodney attention seemed to be caught by a fragment of melody from the floor above . [He]_176-rodney seemed for a moment to forget the presence of [the others]_{1091-the others} . [He]_176-rodney glanced towards the door . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i congratulate [you]_0-i , ” said [Denham]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] Yes , yes . [We]_2595-we ’re all mad — quite out of [our]_2595-we minds , [Denham]_154-ralph , ” [he]_176-rodney said . “_[154-ralph] It ’s partly [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s doing — partly [mine]_2596-mine . ” [He]_176-rodney looked oddly round [the room]_{379-the room} as if [he]_176-rodney wished to make sure that the scene in which [he]_176-rodney played a part had some real existence . “_[2596-mine] Quite mad , ” [he]_176-rodney repeated . “_{[129-katharine]} Even [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — ” [His]_176-rodney gaze rested upon [her]_{129-katharine} finally , as if [she]_{129-katharine} , too , had changed from [his]_176-rodney old view of [her]_{129-katharine} . [He]_176-rodney smiled at [her]_{129-katharine} as if to encourage [her]_{129-katharine} . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} shall explain , ” [he]_176-rodney said , and giving a little nod to [Denham]_154-ralph , [he]_176-rodney left [the room]_{379-the room} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} sat down at once , and leant [her]_{129-katharine} chin upon [her]_{129-katharine} hands . So long as [Rodney]_176-rodney was in [the room]_{379-the room} the proceedings of the evening had seemed to be in [his]_176-rodney charge , and had been marked by a certain unreality . Now that [she]_{129-katharine} was alone with [Ralph]_154-ralph [she]_{129-katharine} felt at once that a constraint had been taken from [them]_5675-them both . [She]_{129-katharine} felt that [they]_5675-them were alone at the bottom of [the house , which rose , story upon story]_{5676-the house , which rose , story upon story} , upon the top of [them]_5675-them . “_{[129-katharine]} Why were [you]_2597-you waiting out there ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[2597-you] For the chance of seeing [you]_2598-you , ” [he]_2597-you replied . “_[2598-you] [You]_2598-you would have waited all night if it had n’t been for [William]_176-rodney . It ’s windy too . [You]_2598-you must have been cold . What could [you]_2598-you see ? Nothing but [our]_2599-our windows . ” “_[2598-you] It was worth it . [I]_0-i heard [you]_2597-you call [me]_0-i . ” “_[2597-you] [I]_0-i called [you]_2597-you ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} had called unconsciously . “_[0-i] [They]_2600-they were engaged this morning , ” [she]_{129-katharine} told [him]_2597-you , after a pause . “_[2600-they] [You]_2598-you ’re glad ? ” [he]_2597-you asked . [She]_{129-katharine} bent [her]_{129-katharine} head . “_[2598-you] Yes , yes , ” [she]_{129-katharine} sighed . “_[2598-you] But [you]_2597-you do n’t know how good [he]_176-rodney is — what [he]_176-rodney ’s done for [me]_0-i — ” [Ralph]_154-ralph made a sound of understanding . “_[176-rodney] [You]_2597-you waited [there]_2927-there last night too ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[2597-you] Yes . [I]_0-i can wait , ” [Denham]_154-ralph replied . The words seemed to fill [the room]_{379-the room} with an emotion which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} connected with the sound of distant wheels , the footsteps hurrying along [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} , the cries of sirens hooting down [the river]_{945-the river} , the darkness and the wind . [She]_{129-katharine} saw [the upright figure standing beneath the lamp - post]_{5680-the upright figure standing beneath the lamp - post} . “_[0-i] Waiting in the dark , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , glancing at the window , as if [he]_154-ralph saw what [she]_{129-katharine} was seeing . “_[0-i] Ah , but it ’s different — ” [She]_{129-katharine} broke off . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not [the person]_{568-the person} [you]_2597-you think [me]_0-i . Until [you]_2597-you realize that it ’s impossible — ” Placing [her]_{129-katharine} elbows on the table , [she]_{129-katharine} slid [her]_{129-katharine} ruby ring up and down [her]_{129-katharine} finger abstractedly . [She]_{129-katharine} frowned at the rows of leather - bound books opposite [her]_{129-katharine} . [Ralph]_154-ralph looked keenly at [her]_{129-katharine} . Very pale , but sternly concentrated upon [her]_{129-katharine} meaning , beautiful but so little aware of [herself]_{129-katharine} as to seem remote from [him]_154-ralph also , there was something distant and abstract about [her]_{129-katharine} which exalted [him]_154-ralph and chilled [him]_154-ralph at the same time . “_[2597-you] No , [you]_2597-you ’re right , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[2597-you] [I]_0-i do n’t know [you]_2597-you . [I]_0-i ’ve never known [you]_2597-you . ” “_[2597-you] Yet perhaps [you]_0-i know [me]_0-i better than [any one else]_{2963-any one else} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} mused . Some detached instinct made [her]_{129-katharine} aware that [she]_{129-katharine} was gazing at a book which belonged by rights to [some other part of [the house]_{377-the house}]_{5681-some other part of the house} . [She]_{129-katharine} walked over to the shelf , took it down , and returned to [her]_{129-katharine} seat , placing the book on the table between [them]_5683-them . [Ralph]_154-ralph opened it and looked at the portrait of a man with a voluminous white shirt - collar , which formed the frontispiece . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i say [I]_0-i do know [you]_2597-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph affirmed , shutting the book . “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s only for moments that [I]_0-i go mad . ” “_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i call two whole nights a moment ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i swear to [you]_0-i that now , at this instant , [I]_0-i see [you]_0-i precisely as [you]_0-i are . [No one]_{2921-no one} has ever known [you]_0-i as [I]_0-i know [you]_0-i .... Could [you]_0-i have taken down that book just now if [I]_0-i had n’t known [you]_0-i ? ” “_[0-i] That ’s true , ” [she]_0-i replied , “_[0-i] but [you]_0-i ca n’t think how [I]_0-i ’m divided — how [I]_0-i ’m at [my]_0-i ease with [you]_0-i , and how [I]_0-i ’m bewildered . The unreality — the dark — the waiting outside in the wind — yes , when [you]_0-i look at [me]_0-i , not seeing [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i do n’t see [you]_0-i either .... But [I]_0-i do see , ” [she]_0-i went on quickly , changing [her]_0-i position and frowning again , “_[0-i] heaps of things , only not [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i what [you]_0-i see , ” [he]_5684-he urged . But [she]_0-i could not reduce [her]_0-i vision to words , since it was no single shape colored upon the dark , but rather a general excitement , an atmosphere , which , when [she]_0-i tried to visualize it , took form as a wind scouring the flanks of [northern hills]_{5685-northern hills} and flashing light upon [cornfields]_{5686-cornfields} and [pools]_4406-pools . “_[0-i] Impossible , ” [she]_0-i sighed , laughing at the ridiculous notion of putting any part of this into words . “_[0-i] Try , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph urged [her]_0-i . “_{[129-katharine]} But [I]_0-i can’t — [I’m]_0-i talking a sort of nonsense — the sort of nonsense one talks to [oneself]_2605-oneself . ” [She]_0-i was dismayed by the expression of longing and despair upon [his]_154-ralph face . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was thinking about [a mountain in [the North of]_{2607-the north of} [England]_5-england]_{2606-a mountain in the north of england} , ” [she]_0-i attempted . “_[0-i] It ’s too silly — [I]_0-i wo n’t go on . ” “_[0-i] [We]_2608-we were there together ? ” [he]_154-ralph pressed [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i was alone . ” [She]_0-i seemed to be disappointing the desire of [a child]_{541-a child} . [His]_154-ralph face fell . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re always alone [there]_2927-there ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ca n’t explain . ” [She]_0-i could not explain that [she]_0-i was essentially alone [there]_2927-there . “_[0-i] It ’s not [a mountain in [the North of]_{104-the north of} [England]_5-england]_{2606-a mountain in the north of england} . It ’s an imagination — a story [one]_422-one tells [oneself]_422-one . [You]_0-i have [yours]_0-i too ? ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’re with [me]_0-i in [mine]_0-i . [You]_0-i ’re the thing [I]_0-i make up , [you]_0-i see . ” “_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i see , ” [she]_0-i sighed . “_[0-i] That ’s why it ’s so impossible . ” [She]_0-i turned upon [him]_5690-he almost fiercely . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i must try to stop it , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wo n’t , ” [he]_5690-he replied roughly , “_[0-i] because [I]_0-i — ” [He]_5690-he stopped . [He]_5690-he realized that the moment had come to impart that news of the utmost importance which [he]_5690-he had tried to impart to [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , to [Rodney]_176-rodney upon [the Embankment]_{956-the embankment} , to the drunken tramp upon the seat . How should [he]_5690-he offer it to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? [He]_5690-he looked quickly at [her]_0-i . [He]_5690-he saw that [she]_0-i was only half attentive to [him]_5690-he ; only a section of [her]_0-i was exposed to [him]_5690-he . The sight roused in [him]_5690-he such desperation that [he]_5690-he had much ado to control [his]_5690-he impulse to rise and leave [the house]_{377-the house} . [Her]_0-i hand lay loosely curled upon the table . [He]_5690-he seized it and grasped it firmly as if to make sure of [her]_0-i existence and of [his]_5690-he own . “_[0-i] Because [I]_0-i love [you]_2612-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_5690-he said . Some roundness or warmth essential to that statement was absent from [his]_5690-he voice , and [she]_0-i had merely to shake [her]_0-i head very slightly for [him]_5690-he to drop [her]_0-i hand and turn away in shame at [his]_5690-he own impotence . [He]_5690-he thought that [she]_0-i had detected [his]_5690-he wish to leave [her]_0-i . [She]_0-i had discerned the break in [his]_5690-he resolution , the blankness in the heart of [his]_5690-he vision . It was true that [he]_5690-he had been happier out in [the street]_{397-the street} , thinking of [her]_0-i , than now that [he]_5690-he was in [the same room]_{563-the same room} with [her]_0-i . [He]_5690-he looked at [her]_0-i with a guilty expression on [his]_5690-he face . But [her]_0-i look expressed neither disappointment nor reproach . [Her]_0-i pose was easy , and [she]_0-i seemed to give effect to a mood of quiet speculation by the spinning of [her]_0-i ruby ring upon the polished table . [Denham]_154-ralph forgot [his]_5690-he despair in wondering what thoughts now occupied [her]_0-i . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_2613-you do n’t believe [me]_0-i ? ” [he]_5690-he said . [His]_5690-he tone was humble , and made [her]_0-i smile at [him]_5690-he . “_[2613-you] As far as [I]_0-i understand [you]_0-i — but what should [you]_0-i advise [me]_0-i to do with this ring ? ” [she]_0-i asked , holding it out . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should advise [you]_2613-you to let [me]_0-i keep it for [you]_2613-you , ” [he]_5690-he replied , in the same tone of half - humorous gravity . “_[2613-you] After what [you]_2613-you ’ve said , [I]_0-i can hardly trust [you]_2613-you — unless [you]_2613-you ’ll unsay what [you]_2613-you ’ve said ? ” “_[2613-you] Very well . [I]_0-i ’m not in love with [you]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i ARE in love with [me]_0-i .... As [I]_0-i am with [you]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i added casually enough . “_[0-i] At least , ” [she]_0-i said slipping [her]_0-i ring back to its old position , “_[0-i] what other word describes the state [we]_2614-we ’re in ? ” [She]_0-i looked at [him]_2613-you gravely and inquiringly , as if in search of help . “_[0-i] It ’s when [I]_0-i ’m with [you]_2613-you that [I]_0-i doubt it , not when [I]_0-i ’m alone , ” [he]_2613-you stated . “_[0-i] So [I]_0-i thought , ” [she]_0-i replied . In order to explain to [her]_0-i [his]_2613-you state of mind , [Ralph]_154-ralph recounted [his]_2613-you experience with the photograph , the letter , and the flower picked at [Kew]_330-kew . [She]_0-i listened very seriously . “_[0-i] And then [you]_0-i went raving about [the streets]_{388-the streets} , ” [she]_0-i mused . “_[0-i] Well , it ’s bad enough . But [my]_0-i state is worse than [yours]_0-i , because it has n’t anything to do with facts . It ’s an hallucination , pure and simple — an intoxication .... [One]_422-one can be in love with pure reason ? ” [she]_0-i hazarded . “_[422-one] Because if [you]_0-i ’re in love with a vision , [I]_0-i believe that that ’s what [I]_0-i ’m in love with . ” This conclusion seemed fantastic and profoundly unsatisfactory to [Ralph]_154-ralph , but after the astonishing variations of [his]_2613-you own sentiments during the past half - hour [he]_2613-you could not accuse [her]_0-i of fanciful exaggeration . “_[176-rodney] [Rodney]_176-rodney seems to know [his]_176-rodney own mind well enough , ” [he]_2613-you said almost bitterly . The music , which had ceased , had now begun again , and the melody of [Mozart]_190-mozart seemed to express the easy and exquisite love of [the two upstairs]_{5695-the two upstairs} . “_[176-rodney] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} never doubted for a moment . But [we]_2617-we — ” [she]_0-i glanced at [him]_2613-you as if to ascertain [his]_2613-you position , “_[2617-we] [we]_2617-we see [each other]_{451-each other} only now and then — ” “_{[451-each other]} Like lights in a storm — ” “_{[451-each other]} In the midst of a hurricane , ” [she]_0-i concluded , as the window shook beneath the pressure of the wind . [They]_2617-we listened to the sound in silence . Here the door opened with considerable hesitation , and [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s head appeared , at first with an air of caution , but having made sure that [she]_0-i had admitted [herself]_0-i to [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} and not to some more unusual region , [she]_0-i came completely inside and seemed in no way taken aback by the sight [she]_0-i saw . [She]_0-i seemed , as usual , bound on some quest of [her]_0-i own which was interrupted pleasantly but strangely by running into one of those queer , unnecessary ceremonies that [other people]_{2964-other people} thought fit to indulge in . “_{[451-each other]} Please do n’t let [me]_0-i interrupt [you]_2619-you , [Mr.]_2620-mr. — ” [she]_0-i was at a loss , as usual , for the name , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} thought that [she]_{129-katharine} did not recognize [him]_2620-mr. . “_[2620-mr.] [I]_0-i hope [you]_2619-you ’ve found something nice to read , ” [she]_0-i added , pointing to the book upon the table . “_[220-byron] [Byron]_220-byron — ah , [Byron]_220-byron . [I]_0-i ’ve known people who knew [Lord Byron]_220-byron , ” [she]_0-i said . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who had risen in some confusion , could not help smiling at the thought that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} found it perfectly natural and desirable that [[her]_{380-her mother} daughter]_{373-her daughter} should be reading [Byron]_220-byron in [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} late at night alone with [a strange young man]_{5701-a strange young man} . [She]_{129-katharine} blessed a disposition that was so convenient , and felt tenderly towards [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} and [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s eccentricities . But [Ralph]_154-ralph observed that although [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} held the book so close to [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} eyes [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was not reading a word . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear mother]_{2621-my dear mother} , why are n’t [you]_{2621-my dear mother} in bed ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , changing astonishingly in the space of a minute to [her]_{129-katharine} usual condition of authoritative good sense . “_{[2621-my dear mother]} Why are [you]_{2621-my dear mother} wandering about ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m sure [I]_0-i should like [your]_{2621-my dear mother} poetry better than [I]_0-i like [Lord Byron]_220-byron ’s , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , addressing [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . “_[220-byron] [Mr. Denham]_131-denham does n’t write poetry ; [he]_131-denham has written articles for [father]_3311-father , for the Review , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , as if prompting [her]_{2621-my dear mother} memory . “_[131-denham] Oh dear ! How dull ! ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed , with a sudden laugh that rather puzzled [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} . [Ralph]_154-ralph found that [she]_0-i had turned upon [him]_154-ralph a gaze that was at once very vague and very penetrating . “_[131-denham] But [I]_0-i ’m sure [you]_{2621-my dear mother} read poetry at night . [I]_0-i always judge by the expression of the eyes , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued . ( “_[0-i] The windows of the soul , ” [she]_0-i added parenthetically . ) “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t know much about the law , ” [she]_0-i went on , “_[0-i] though [many of [[my]_0-i relations]_{1429-my relations}]_{2623-many of my relations} were [lawyers]_1448-lawyers . [Some of [them]_{2623-many of my relations}]_{849-some of them} looked very handsome , too , in [their]_{849-some of them} wigs . But [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i do know a little about poetry , ” [she]_0-i added . “_[0-i] And all the things that are n’t written down , but — but — ” [She]_0-i waved [her]_0-i hand , as if to indicate the wealth of unwritten poetry all about [them]_5705-them . “_[0-i] The night and the stars , the dawn coming up , [the barges]_{2627-the barges} swimming past , the sun setting .... Ah dear , ” [she]_0-i sighed , “_[131-denham] well , the sunset is very lovely too . [I]_0-i sometimes think that poetry is n’t so much what [we]_2628-we write as what [we]_2628-we feel , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham . ” During this speech of [[her]_0-i mother]_{380-her mother} ’s Katharine had turned away , and [Ralph]_154-ralph felt that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was talking to [him]_154-ralph apart , with a desire to ascertain something about [him]_154-ralph which [she]_0-i veiled purposely by the vagueness of [her]_0-i words . [He]_154-ralph felt curiously encouraged and heartened by the beam in [her]_0-i eye rather than by [her]_0-i actual words . From the distance of [her]_0-i age and sex [she]_0-i seemed to be waving to [him]_154-ralph , hailing [him]_154-ralph as a ship sinking beneath the horizon might wave its flag of greeting to [another setting out upon the same voyage]_{5707-another setting out upon the same voyage} . [He]_154-ralph bent [his]_154-ralph head , saying nothing , but with a curious certainty that [she]_0-i had read an answer to [her]_0-i inquiry that satisfied [her]_0-i . At any rate , [she]_0-i rambled off into a description of the Law Courts which turned to a denunciation of English justice , which , according to [her]_0-i , [imprisoned poor men who could n’t pay [their]_{5708-imprisoned poor men who could n’t pay their debts} debts]_{5708-imprisoned poor men who could n’t pay their debts} . “_[131-denham] Tell [me]_0-i , shall [we]_2629-we ever do without it all ? ” [she]_0-i asked , but at this point [Katharine]_{129-katharine} gently insisted that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} should go to bed . Looking back from half - way up the staircase , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to see [Denham]_154-ralph ’s eyes watching [her]_{129-katharine} steadily and intently with an expression that [she]_{129-katharine} had guessed in them when [he]_154-ralph stood looking at the windows across [the road]_{941-the road} . The tray which brought [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s cup of tea the next morning brought , also , a note from [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , announcing that it was [her]_{380-her mother} intention to catch [an early train]_{5712-an early train} to [Stratford - on - Avon]_{82-stratford - on - avon} that very day . “_[131-denham] Please find out the best way of getting there , ” the note ran , “_[131-denham] and wire to dear Sir [John Burdett]_{360-john burdett} to expect [me]_0-i , with [my]_0-i love . [I]_0-i ’ve been dreaming all night of [you]_2630-you and [Shakespeare]_170-william , dearest [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” This was no momentary impulse . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had been dreaming of [Shakespeare]_170-william any time these six months , toying with the idea of an excursion to what [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} considered [the heart of [the civilized world]_{5714-the civilized world}]_{5713-the heart of the civilized world} . To stand six feet above [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s bones , to see the very stones worn by [his]_170-william feet , to reflect that [[the oldest man]_{5715-the oldest man} ’s oldest mother]_{5716-the oldest man ’s oldest mother} had very likely seen [[Shakespeare]_170-william ’s daughter]_{5717-shakespeare ’s daughter} — such thoughts roused an emotion in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} expressed at unsuitable moments , and with a passion that would not have been unseemly in a pilgrim to [a sacred shrine]_{5718-a sacred shrine} . The only strange thing was that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} wished to go by [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . But , naturally enough , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was well provided with [friends who lived in [the neighborhood of [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s tomb]_{5720-the neighborhood of shakespeare ’s tomb}]_{5719-friends who lived in the neighborhood of shakespeare ’s tomb} , and were delighted to welcome [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ; and [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} left later to catch [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} train in the best of spirits . There was [a man selling violets]_{5721-a man selling violets} in [the street]_{397-the street} . It was a fine day . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would remember to send [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} the first daffodil [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} saw . And , as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ran back into [the hall]_{3431-the hall} to tell [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} felt , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had always felt , that [Shakespeare]_170-william ’s command to leave [his]_170-william bones undisturbed applied only to [odious curiosity - mongers]_{5724-odious curiosity - mongers} — not to [dear Sir John]_{168-sir john franklin} and [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . Leaving [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} to cogitate the theory of [Anne Hathaway]_{331-anne hathaway} ’s sonnets , and the buried manuscripts here referred to , with the implied menace to the safety of the heart of civilization itself , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} briskly shut the door of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [taxi - cab]_{5727-taxi - cab}]_{5726-her taxi - cab} , and was whirled off upon the first stage of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pilgrimage . [The house]_{377-the house} was oddly different without [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} found [the maids]_{5729-the maids} already in possession of [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} , which [they]_{5729-the maids} meant to clean thoroughly during [her]_{129-katharine} absence . To [Katharine]_{129-katharine} it seemed as if [they]_{5729-the maids} had brushed away sixty years or so with the first flick of [their]_{5729-the maids} damp dusters . It seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that the work [she]_{129-katharine} had tried to do in [that room]_{5731-that room} was being swept into a very insignificant heap of dust . [The china shepherdesses]_{5732-the china shepherdesses} were already shining from a bath of hot water . The writing - table might have belonged to [a professional man of methodical habits]_{5733-a professional man of methodical habits} . Gathering together a few papers upon which [she]_{129-katharine} was at work , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} proceeded to [[her]_{129-katharine} own room]_{5734-her own room} with the intention of looking through them , perhaps , in the course of the morning . But [she]_{129-katharine} was met on the stairs by [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , who followed [her]_{129-katharine} up , but with such intervals between each step that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} began to feel [her]_{129-katharine} purpose dwindling before [they]_5735-they had reached the door . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} leant over the banisters , and looked down upon the Persian rug that lay on the floor of [the hall]_{3431-the hall} . “_{[170-william]} Does n’t everything look odd this morning ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} inquired . “_{[170-william]} Are [you]_2631-you really going to spend the morning with those dull old letters , because if so — ” The dull old letters , which would have turned the heads of the most sober of [collectors]_{5737-collectors} , were laid upon a table , and , after a moment ’s pause , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , looking grave all of a sudden , asked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} where [she]_{129-katharine} should find the “_[333-henry] History of [England]_5-england ” by [Lord Macaulay]_361-macaulay . It was [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} in [[Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s study]_{3433-mr. hilbery ’s study} . [The cousins]_{669-the cousins} descended together in search of [it]_{3433-mr. hilbery ’s study} . [They]_{669-the cousins} diverged into [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} for the good reason that the door was open . The portrait of [Richard Alardyce]_{139-richard alardyce} attracted [their]_{669-the cousins} attention . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder what [he]_2632-he was like ? ” It was a question that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had often asked [herself]_{129-katharine} lately . “_[2632-he] Oh , [a fraud like the rest of [them]_2634-them]_{2633-a fraud like the rest of them} — at least [Henry]_333-henry says so , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied . “_[333-henry] Though [I]_0-i do n’t believe everything [Henry]_333-henry says , ” [she]_0-i added a little defensively . Down [they]_{669-the cousins} went into [[Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s study]_{3433-mr. hilbery ’s study} , where [they]_{669-the cousins} began to look among [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} books . So desultory was this examination that some fifteen minutes failed to discover the work [they]_{669-the cousins} were in search of . “_[333-henry] Must [you]_0-i read [Macaulay]_361-macaulay ’s History , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked , with a stretch of [her]_{129-katharine} arms . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied briefly . “_[0-i] Well , [I]_0-i ’m going to leave [you]_0-i to look for it by [yourself]_0-i . ” “_[0-i] Oh , no , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Please stay and help [me]_0-i . [You]_0-i see — [you]_0-i see — [I]_0-i told [William]_170-william [I]_0-i ’d read a little every day . And [I]_0-i want to tell [him]_170-william that [I]_0-i ’ve begun when [he]_170-william comes . ” “_[0-i] When does [William]_170-william come ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} asked , turning to the shelves again . “_{[170-william]} To tea , if that suits [you]_0-i ? ” “_{[170-william]} If it suits [me]_0-i to be out , [I]_0-i suppose [you]_0-i mean . ” “_[0-i] Oh , [you]_0-i ’re horrid .... Why should n’t [you]_0-i — ? ” “_[0-i] Yes ? ” “_[0-i] Why should n’t [you]_0-i be happy too ? ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i am quite happy , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean as [I]_0-i am . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i said impulsively , “_[0-i] do let ’s be married on the same day . ” “_[0-i] To [the same man]_{2635-the same man} ? ” “_{[2635-the same man]} Oh , no , no . But why should n’t [you]_0-i marry — [some one else]_{1931-some one else} ? ” “_{[1931-some one else]} Here ’s [[your]_0-i Macaulay]_{2637-your macaulay} , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , turning round with the book in [her]_{129-katharine} hand . “_{[1931-some one else]} [I]_0-i should say [you]_0-i ’d better begin to read at once if [you]_0-i mean to be educated by tea - time . ” “_[0-i] Damn [Lord Macaulay]_361-macaulay ! ” cried [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , slapping the book upon the table . “_{[361-macaulay]} Would [you]_0-i rather not talk ? ” “_[0-i] [We]_2638-we ’ve talked enough already , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied evasively . “_[2638-we] [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i sha n’t be able to settle to [Macaulay]_361-macaulay , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , looking ruefully at the dull red cover of the prescribed volume , which , however , possessed a talismanic property , since [William]_170-william admired it . [He]_170-william had advised a little serious reading for the morning hours . “_[0-i] Have [you]_0-i read [Macaulay]_361-macaulay ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} asked . “_[0-i] No . [William]_170-william never tried to educate [me]_0-i . ” As [she]_{303-cassandra} spoke [she]_{303-cassandra} saw the light fade from [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s face , as if [she]_{303-cassandra} had implied some other , more mysterious , relationship . [She]_{303-cassandra} was stung with compunction . [She]_{303-cassandra} marveled at [her]_{303-cassandra} own rashness in having influenced the life of another , as [she]_{303-cassandra} had influenced [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s life . “_{[170-william]} [We]_2639-we were n’t serious , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said quickly . “_[2639-we] But [I]_0-i ’m fearfully serious , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , with a little shudder , and [her]_{303-cassandra} look showed that [she]_{303-cassandra} spoke the truth . [She]_{303-cassandra} turned and glanced at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as [she]_{303-cassandra} had never glanced at [her]_{129-katharine} before . There was fear in [her]_{303-cassandra} glance , which darted on [her]_{129-katharine} and then dropped guiltily . Oh , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had everything — beauty , mind , character . [She]_{303-cassandra} could never compete with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [she]_{303-cassandra} could never be safe so long as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} brooded over [her]_{303-cassandra} , dominating [her]_{303-cassandra} , disposing of [her]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_{129-katharine} called [her]_{303-cassandra} cold , unseeing , unscrupulous , but the only sign [she]_{303-cassandra} gave outwardly was a curious one — [she]_{303-cassandra} reached out [her]_{303-cassandra} hand and grasped the volume of history . At that moment the bell of the telephone rang and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went to answer it . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , released from observation , dropped [her]_{303-cassandra} book and clenched [her]_{303-cassandra} hands . [She]_{303-cassandra} suffered more fiery torture in those few minutes than [she]_{303-cassandra} had suffered in the whole of [her]_{303-cassandra} life ; [she]_{303-cassandra} learnt more of [her]_{303-cassandra} capacities for feeling . But when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reappeared [she]_{129-katharine} was calm , and had gained a look of dignity that was new to [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Was that [him]_2640-him ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[2640-him] It was [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i meant [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . ” “_[154-ralph] Why did [you]_0-i mean [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? What has [William]_170-william told [you]_0-i about [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? ” The accusation that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was calm , callous , and indifferent was not possible in face of [her]_{129-katharine} present air of animation . [She]_{129-katharine} gave [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} no time to frame an answer . “_{[170-william]} Now , when are [you]_0-i and [William]_170-william going to be married ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} made no reply for some moments . It was , indeed , a very difficult question to answer . In conversation the night before , [William]_170-william had indicated to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} that , in [his]_170-william belief , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was becoming engaged to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph in [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , in the rosy light of [her]_{303-cassandra} own circumstances , had been disposed to think that the matter must be settled already . But a letter which [she]_{303-cassandra} had received that morning from [William]_170-william , while ardent in its expression of affection , had conveyed to [her]_{303-cassandra} obliquely that [he]_170-william would prefer the announcement of [their]_2641-we engagement to coincide with that of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s . This document [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} now produced , and read aloud , with considerable excisions and much hesitation . “_{[170-william]} ... a thousand pities — ahem — [I]_0-i fear [we]_2641-we shall cause a great deal of natural annoyance . If , on the other hand , what [I]_0-i have reason to think will happen , should happen — within reasonable time , and the present position is not in any way offensive to [you]_2642-you , delay would , in [my]_0-i opinion , serve all [our]_2641-we interests better than a premature explanation , which is bound to cause more surprise than is desirable — ” “_{[170-william]} Very like [William]_170-william , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , having gathered the drift of these remarks with a speed that , by itself , disconcerted [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_{[170-william]} [I]_0-i quite understand [his]_170-william feelings , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i quite agree with them . [I]_0-i think it would be much better , if [you]_2642-you intend to marry [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , that [we]_2641-we should wait as [William]_170-william says . ” “_{[170-william]} But , then , if [I]_0-i do n’t marry [him]_170-william for months — or , perhaps , not at all ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was silent . The prospect appalled [her]_{303-cassandra} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had been telephoning to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ; [she]_{129-katharine} looked queer , too ; [she]_{129-katharine} must be , or about to become , engaged to [him]_154-ralph . But if [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} could have overheard the conversation upon the telephone , [she]_{303-cassandra} would not have felt so certain that it tended in that direction . It was to this effect : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph speaking . [I]_0-i ’m in [my]_0-i right senses now . ” “_[0-i] How long did [you]_154-ralph wait outside [the house]_{377-the house} ? ” “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i went [home]_2992-home and wrote [you]_154-ralph a letter . [I]_0-i tore it up . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall tear up everything too . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall come . ” “_[0-i] Yes . Come to - day . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i must explain to [you]_154-ralph — ” “_[0-i] Yes . [We]_2645-we must explain — ” A long pause followed . [Ralph]_154-ralph began a sentence , which [he]_154-ralph canceled with the word , “_[2645-we] Nothing . ” Suddenly , together , at the same moment , [they]_2645-we said good - bye . And yet , if the telephone had been miraculously connected with some higher atmosphere pungent with the scent of thyme and the savor of salt , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could hardly have breathed in a keener sense of exhilaration . [She]_{129-katharine} ran [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} on the crest of it . [She]_{129-katharine} was amazed to find [herself]_{129-katharine} already committed by [William]_170-william and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to marry [the owner of the halting voice [she]_{129-katharine} had just heard on the telephone]_{5745-the owner of the halting voice she had just heard on the telephone} . The tendency of [her]_{129-katharine} spirit seemed to be in an altogether different direction ; and of a different nature . [She]_{129-katharine} had only to look at [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} to see what the love that results in an engagement and marriage means . [She]_0-i considered for a moment , and then said : “_[2645-we] If [you]_154-ralph do n’t want to tell [people]_383-people [yourselves]_154-ralph , [I]_0-i ’ll do it for [you]_154-ralph . [I]_0-i know [William]_170-william has feelings about these matters that make it very difficult for [him]_170-william to do anything . ” “_{[170-william]} Because [he]_170-william ’s fearfully sensitive about [other people]_{2964-other people} ’s feelings , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_{[170-william]} The idea that [he]_170-william could upset [Aunt Maggie]_233-maggie or [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} would make [him]_170-william ill for weeks . ” This interpretation of what [she]_{303-cassandra} was used to call [William]_170-william ’s conventionality was new to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . And yet [she]_{303-cassandra} felt it now to be [the true one]_{5746-the true one} . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Yes , [you]_154-ralph ’re right , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} And then [he]_170-william worships beauty . [He]_170-william wants life to be beautiful in every part of it . Have [you]_154-ralph ever noticed how exquisitely [he]_170-william finishes everything ? Look at the address on that envelope . Every letter is perfect . ” Whether this applied also to the sentiments expressed in the letter , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was not so sure ; but when [William]_170-william ’s solicitude was spent upon [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} it not only failed to irritate [her]_{303-cassandra} , as it had done when [she]_{303-cassandra} was the object of it , but appeared , as [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} said , the fruit of [his]_170-william love of beauty . “_[154-ralph] Yes , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said , “_{[170-william]} [he]_170-william loves beauty . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [we]_2648-we shall have [a great many children]_{2649-a great many children} , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] [He]_170-william loves [children]_{3537-children} . ” This remark made [Katharine]_{129-katharine} realize the depths of [their]_2648-we intimacy better than any other words could have done ; [she]_{129-katharine} was jealous for one moment ; but the next [she]_{129-katharine} was humiliated . [She]_{129-katharine} had known [William]_170-william for years , and [she]_{129-katharine} had never once guessed that [he]_170-william loved [children]_{3537-children} . [She]_{129-katharine} looked at the queer glow of exaltation in [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s eyes , through which [she]_{129-katharine} was beholding the true spirit of [a human being]_{861-a human being} , and wished that [she]_{129-katharine} would go on talking about [William]_170-william for ever . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was not unwilling to gratify [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{303-cassandra} talked on . The morning slipped away . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} scarcely changed [her]_{129-katharine} position on the edge of [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s writing - table , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} never opened the “_{[3537-children]} History of [England]_5-england . ” And yet it must be confessed that there were vast lapses in the attention which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} bestowed upon [[her]_{129-katharine} cousin]_{4022-her cousin} . The atmosphere was wonderfully congenial for thoughts of [her]_{129-katharine} own . [She]_{129-katharine} lost [herself]_{129-katharine} sometimes in such deep reverie that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , pausing , could look at [her]_{129-katharine} for moments unperceived . What could [Katharine]_{129-katharine} be thinking about , unless it were [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? [She]_{129-katharine} was satisfied , by certain random replies , that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had wandered a little from the subject of [William]_170-william ’s perfections . But [Katharine]_{129-katharine} made no sign . [She]_{129-katharine} always ended these pauses by saying something so natural that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was deluded into giving fresh examples of [her]_{303-cassandra} absorbing theme . Then [they]_5751-they lunched , and the only sign that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} gave of abstraction was to forget to help the pudding . [She]_{129-katharine} looked so like [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , as [she]_{129-katharine} sat there oblivious of the tapioca , that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was startled into exclaiming : “_{[3537-children]} How like [Aunt Maggie]_233-maggie [you]_2651-you look ! ” “_[233-maggie] Nonsense , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with more irritation than the remark seemed to call for . In truth , now that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} was away , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} did feel less sensible than usual , but as [she]_{129-katharine} argued it to [herself]_{129-katharine} , there was much less need for sense . Secretly , [she]_{129-katharine} was a little shaken by the evidence which the morning had supplied of [her]_{129-katharine} immense capacity for — what could one call it?—rambling over an infinite variety of thoughts that were too foolish to be named . [She]_{129-katharine} was , for example , walking down [a road]_{5754-a road} in [Northumberland]_{105-northumberland} in the August sunset ; at [the inn]_{5755-the inn} [she]_{129-katharine} left [[her]_{129-katharine} companion]_{3292-her companion} , who was [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , and was transported , not so much by [her]_{129-katharine} own feet as by some invisible means , to [the top of [a high hill]_{5758-a high hill}]_{5757-the top of a high hill} . Here the scents , the sounds among the dry heather - roots , the grass - blades pressed upon the palm of [her]_{129-katharine} hand , were all so perceptible that [she]_{129-katharine} could experience each one separately . After this [her]_{129-katharine} mind made excursions into the dark of the air , or settled upon the surface of [the sea]_{829-the sea} , which could be discovered over there , or with equal unreason it returned to its couch of bracken beneath the stars of midnight , and visited [the snow valleys of the moon]_{5760-the snow valleys of the moon} . These fancies would have been in no way strange , since the walls of every mind are decorated with some such tracery , but [she]_{129-katharine} found [herself]_{129-katharine} suddenly pursuing such thoughts with an extreme ardor , which became a desire to change [her]_{129-katharine} actual condition for something matching the conditions of [her]_{129-katharine} dream . Then [she]_{129-katharine} started ; then [she]_{129-katharine} awoke to the fact that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was looking at [her]_{129-katharine} in amazement . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} would have liked to feel certain that , when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} made no reply at all or one wide of the mark , [she]_{129-katharine} was making up [her]_{129-katharine} mind to get married at once , but it was difficult , if this were so , to account for some remarks that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} let fall about the future . [She]_{303-cassandra} recurred several times to the summer , as if [she]_{303-cassandra} meant to spend that season in solitary wandering . [She]_{303-cassandra} seemed to have a plan in [her]_{303-cassandra} mind which required [Bradshaws]_{5761-bradshaws} and the names of [inns]_5762-inns . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was driven finally , by [her]_{303-cassandra} own unrest , to put on [her]_{303-cassandra} clothes and wander out along [the streets of [Chelsea]_10-chelsea]_{5763-the streets of chelsea} , on the pretence that [she]_{303-cassandra} must buy something . But , in [her]_{303-cassandra} ignorance of the way , [she]_{303-cassandra} became panic - stricken at the thought of being late , and no sooner had [she]_{303-cassandra} found [the shop [she]_{303-cassandra} wanted]_{5764-the shop she wanted} , than [she]_{303-cassandra} fled back again in order to be at [home]_2992-home when [William]_170-william came . [He]_170-william came , indeed , five minutes after [she]_{303-cassandra} had sat down by the tea - table , and [she]_{303-cassandra} had the happiness of receiving [him]_170-william alone . [His]_170-william greeting put [her]_{303-cassandra} doubts of [his]_170-william affection at rest , but the first question [he]_170-william asked was : “_[233-maggie] Has [Katharine]_{129-katharine} spoken to [you]_2652-you ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Yes . But [she]_{129-katharine} says [she]_{129-katharine} ’s not engaged . [She]_{129-katharine} does n’t seem to think [she]_{129-katharine} ’s ever going to be engaged . ” [William]_170-william frowned , and looked annoyed . “_{[129-katharine]} [They]_2653-they telephoned this morning , and [she]_{129-katharine} behaves very oddly . [She]_{129-katharine} forgets to help [the pudding]_{2654-the pudding} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} added by way of cheering [him]_170-william . “_{[129-katharine]} [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1178-my dear child} , after what [I]_0-i saw and heard last night , it ’s not a question of guessing or suspecting . Either [she]_{129-katharine} ’s engaged to [him]_2656-him — or — ” [He]_170-william left [his]_170-william sentence unfinished , for at this point [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} appeared . With [his]_170-william recollections of the scene the night before , [he]_170-william was too self - conscious even to look at [her]_{129-katharine} , and it was not until [she]_{129-katharine} told [him]_170-william of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s visit to [Stratford - on - Avon]_{82-stratford - on - avon} that [he]_170-william raised [his]_170-william eyes . It was clear that [he]_170-william was greatly relieved . [He]_170-william looked round [him]_170-william now , as if [he]_170-william felt at [his]_170-william ease , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed : “_{[129-katharine]} Do n’t [you]_2657-you think everything looks quite different ? ” “_[2657-you] [You]_2657-you ’ve moved the sofa ? ” [he]_170-william asked . “_[2657-you] No . Nothing ’s been touched , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[2657-you] Everything ’s exactly the same . ” But as [she]_{129-katharine} said this , with a decision which seemed to make it imply that more than the sofa was unchanged , [she]_{129-katharine} held out a cup into which [she]_{129-katharine} had forgotten to pour any tea . Being told of [her]_{129-katharine} forgetfulness , [she]_{129-katharine} frowned with annoyance , and said that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was demoralizing [her]_{129-katharine} . The glance [she]_{129-katharine} cast upon [them]_5767-them , and the resolute way in which [she]_{129-katharine} plunged [them]_5767-them into speech , made [William]_170-william and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} feel like [children who had been caught prying]_{5768-children who had been caught prying} . [They]_5767-them followed [her]_{129-katharine} obediently , making conversation . [Any one coming in]_{5769-any one coming in} might have judged [them]_5767-them acquaintances met , perhaps , for the third time . If that were so , [one]_422-one must have concluded that [the hostess]_{375-the hostess} suddenly bethought [her]_{129-katharine} of an engagement pressing for fulfilment . First [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [her]_{129-katharine} watch , and then [she]_{129-katharine} asked [William]_170-william to tell [her]_{129-katharine} the right time . When told that it was ten minutes to five [she]_{129-katharine} rose at once , and said : “_[2657-you] Then [I]_0-i ’m afraid [I]_0-i must go . ” [She]_{129-katharine} left [the room]_{379-the room} , holding [her]_{129-katharine} unfinished bread and butter in [her]_{129-katharine} hand . [William]_170-william glanced at [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] Well , [she]_2658-she is queer ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . [William]_170-william looked perturbed . [He]_170-william knew more of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} than [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} did , but even [he]_170-william could not tell—. In a second [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was back again dressed in outdoor things , still holding [her]_{129-katharine} bread and butter in [her]_{129-katharine} bare hand . “_[2658-she] If [I]_0-i ’m late , do n’t wait for [me]_0-i , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall have dined , ” and so saying , [she]_2658-she left [them]_5773-them . “_[2658-she] But [she]_2658-she ca n’t — ” [William]_170-william exclaimed , as the door shut , “_[2658-she] not without any gloves and bread and butter in [her]_2658-she hand ! ” [They]_5773-them ran to the window , and saw [her]_2658-she walking rapidly along [the street]_{397-the street} towards [the City]_{3152-the city} . Then [she]_2658-she vanished . “_[2658-she] [She]_2658-she must have gone to meet [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed . “_[2658-she] Goodness knows ! ” [William]_170-william interjected . The incident impressed [them]_5773-them both as having something queer and ominous about it out of all proportion to its surface strangeness . “_[2658-she] It ’s the sort of way [Aunt Maggie]_233-maggie behaves , ” said [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , as if in explanation . [William]_170-william shook [his]_170-william head , and paced up and down [the room]_{379-the room} looking extremely perturbed . “_[233-maggie] This is what [I]_0-i ’ve been foretelling , ” [he]_170-william burst out . “_[0-i] Once set the ordinary conventions aside — Thank [Heaven Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} is away . But there ’s [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} . How are [we]_2659-we to explain it to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} ? [I]_0-i shall have to leave [you]_2660-you . ” “_[0-i] But [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} wo n’t be back for hours , [William]_170-william ! ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} implored . “_{[170-william]} [You]_170-william never can tell . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} may be on [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} way already . Or suppose [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} — [[your]_170-william Aunt Celia]_{2661-your aunt celia} — or [Mrs. Cosham]_{251-mrs. cosham} , or [any other of [[your]_170-william aunts or [uncles]_706-uncles]_{2663-your aunts or uncles}]_{2662-any other of your aunts or uncles} should be shown in and find [us]_2659-we alone together . [You]_170-william know what [they]_2665-they ’re saying about [us]_2659-we already . ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was equally stricken by the sight of [William]_170-william ’s agitation , and appalled by the prospect of [his]_170-william desertion . “_[2665-they] [We]_2659-we might hide , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed wildly , glancing at the curtain which separated [the room]_{379-the room} with the relics . “_[2665-they] [I]_0-i refuse entirely to get under the table , ” said [William]_170-william sarcastically . [She]_{303-cassandra} saw that [he]_170-william was losing [his]_170-william temper with the difficulties of the situation . [Her]_{303-cassandra} instinct told [her]_{303-cassandra} that an appeal to [his]_170-william affection , at this moment , would be extremely ill - judged . [She]_{303-cassandra} controlled [herself]_{303-cassandra} , sat down , poured out a fresh cup of tea , and sipped it quietly . This natural action , arguing complete self - mastery , and showing [her]_{303-cassandra} in one of those feminine attitudes which [William]_170-william found adorable , did more than any argument to compose [his]_170-william agitation . It appealed to [his]_170-william chivalry . [He]_170-william accepted a cup . Next [she]_{303-cassandra} asked for a slice of cake . By the time the cake was eaten and the tea drunk the personal question had lapsed , and [they]_2659-we were discussing poetry . Insensibly [they]_2659-we turned from the question of dramatic poetry in general , to the particular example which reposed in [William]_170-william ’s pocket , and when [the maid]_{522-the maid} came in to clear away the tea - things , [William]_170-william had asked permission to read a short passage aloud , “_[0-i] unless it bored [her]_2666-her ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} bent [her]_{303-cassandra} head in silence , but [she]_{303-cassandra} showed a little of what [she]_{303-cassandra} felt in [her]_{303-cassandra} eyes , and thus fortified , [William]_170-william felt confident that it would take more than [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} to rout [him]_170-william from [his]_170-william position . [He]_170-william read aloud . Meanwhile [Katharine]_{129-katharine} walked rapidly along [the street]_{397-the street} . If called upon to explain [her]_{129-katharine} impulsive action in leaving the tea - table , [she]_{129-katharine} could have traced it to no better cause than that [William]_170-william had glanced at [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ; [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} at [William]_170-william . Yet , because [they]_5780-they had glanced , [her]_{129-katharine} position was impossible . If [one]_422-one forgot to pour out a cup of tea [they]_5780-they rushed to the conclusion that [she]_{129-katharine} was engaged to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} knew that in half an hour or so the door would open , and [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph would appear . [She]_{129-katharine} could not sit there and contemplate seeing [him]_154-ralph with [William]_170-william ’s and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s eyes upon [them]_5780-they , judging [their]_5780-they exact degree of intimacy , so that [they]_5780-they might fix the wedding - day . [She]_{129-katharine} promptly decided that [she]_{129-katharine} would meet [Ralph]_154-ralph out of doors ; [she]_{129-katharine} still had time to reach [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} before [he]_154-ralph left [[his]_154-ralph office]_{1292-his office} . [She]_{129-katharine} hailed [a cab]_{3079-a cab} , and bade it take [her]_{129-katharine} to [a shop for selling maps which [she]_{129-katharine} remembered in [Great Queen Street]_{106-great queen street}]_{5784-a shop for selling maps which she remembered in great queen street} , since [she]_{129-katharine} hardly liked to be set down at [his]_154-ralph door . Arrived at [the shop]_{1617-the shop} , [she]_{129-katharine} bought a large scale map of [Norfolk]_79-norfolk , and thus provided , hurried into [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} , and assured [herself]_{129-katharine} of the position of [Messrs. Hoper]_{362-messrs. hoper} and [[Grateley]_{240-messrs. grateley} ’s office]_{5786-grateley ’s office} . The great gas chandeliers were alight in the office windows . [She]_{129-katharine} conceived that [he]_154-ralph sat at an enormous table laden with papers beneath one of them in [the front room with the three tall windows]_{5787-the front room with the three tall windows} . Having settled [his]_154-ralph position there , [she]_{129-katharine} began walking to and fro upon [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} . [Nobody of [his]_154-ralph build]_{5789-nobody of his build} appeared . [She]_{129-katharine} scrutinized [each male figure]_{5790-each male figure} as it approached and passed [her]_{129-katharine} . [Each male figure]_{5790-each male figure} had , nevertheless , a look of [him]_154-ralph , due , perhaps , to the professional dress , the quick step , the keen glance which [they]_{5790-each male figure} cast upon [her]_{129-katharine} as [they]_{5790-each male figure} hastened [home]_2992-home after the day ’s work . [The square itself]_{5793-the square itself} , with [[its]_{5793-the square itself} immense houses all so fully occupied and stern of aspect]_{5794-its immense houses all so fully occupied and stern of aspect} , [its]_{5793-the square itself} atmosphere of industry and power , as if even [the sparrows]_{3716-the sparrows} and [the children]_{3583-the children} were earning [their]_{3583-the children} daily bread , as if the sky itself , with its gray and scarlet clouds , reflected the serious intention of [the city beneath]_{5797-the city beneath} [it]_5798-it , spoke of [him]_154-ralph . Here was the fit place for [their]_{5790-each male figure} meeting , [she]_{129-katharine} thought ; here was the fit place for [her]_{129-katharine} to walk thinking of [him]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} could not help comparing [it]_{5793-the square itself} with [the domestic streets of [Chelsea]_10-chelsea]_{5799-the domestic streets of chelsea} . With this comparison in [her]_{129-katharine} mind , [she]_{129-katharine} extended [her]_{129-katharine} range a little , and turned into [the main road]_{3796-the main road} . The great torrent of [vans and carts]_{5801-vans and carts} was sweeping down [Kingsway]_24-kingsway ; [pedestrians]_{5802-pedestrians} were streaming in two currents along [the pavements]_{5803-the pavements} . [She]_{129-katharine} stood fascinated at the corner . The deep roar filled [her]_{129-katharine} ears ; the changing tumult had the inexpressible fascination of varied life pouring ceaselessly with a purpose which , as [she]_{129-katharine} looked , seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} , somehow , the normal purpose for which life was framed ; its complete indifference to [the individuals , whom it swallowed up and rolled onwards]_{5804-the individuals , whom it swallowed up and rolled onwards} , filled [her]_{129-katharine} with at least a temporary exaltation . The blend of daylight and of lamplight made [her]_{129-katharine} an invisible spectator , just as it gave [the people who passed [her]_{129-katharine}]_{5805-the people who passed her} a semi - transparent quality , and left the faces pale ivory ovals in which the eyes alone were dark . [They]_{5805-the people who passed her} tended the enormous rush of the current — the great flow , the deep stream , the unquenchable tide . [She]_{129-katharine} stood unobserved and absorbed , glorying openly in the rapture that had run subterraneously all day . Suddenly [she]_{129-katharine} was clutched , unwilling , from the outside , by the recollection of [her]_{129-katharine} purpose in coming [there]_2927-there . [She]_{129-katharine} had come to find [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} hastily turned back into [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} , and looked for [[her]_{129-katharine} landmark]_{5807-her landmark} — the light in the three tall windows . [She]_{129-katharine} sought in vain . The faces of [the houses]_{5808-the houses} had now merged in the general darkness , and [she]_{129-katharine} had difficulty in determining which [she]_{129-katharine} sought . [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s three windows gave back on their ghostly glass panels only a reflection of the gray and greenish sky . [She]_{129-katharine} rang the bell , peremptorily , under the painted name of [the firm]_{5809-the firm} . After some delay [she]_{129-katharine} was answered by [a caretaker]_{5810-a caretaker} , whose pail and brush of [themselves]_{5805-the people who passed her} told [her]_{129-katharine} that the working day was over and [the workers]_{5811-the workers} gone . [Nobody]_2970-nobody , save perhaps [Mr. Grateley]_{363-mr. grateley} [himself]_{363-mr. grateley} , was left , [she]_{129-katharine} assured [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; [every one else]_{1638-every one else} had been gone these ten minutes . The news woke [Katharine]_{129-katharine} completely . Anxiety gained upon [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} hastened back into [Kingsway]_24-kingsway , looking at [people who had miraculously regained [their]_{5814-people who had miraculously regained their solidity} solidity]_{5814-people who had miraculously regained their solidity} . [She]_{129-katharine} ran as far as [the Tube station]_{4568-the tube station} , [overhauling clerk]_{5816-overhauling clerk} after [clerk]_1251-clerk , [solicitor]_{5818-solicitor} after [solicitor]_{5818-solicitor} . Not one of [them]_{4568-the tube station} even faintly resembled [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . More and more plainly did [she]_{129-katharine} see [him]_154-ralph ; and more and more did [he]_154-ralph seem to [her]_{129-katharine} unlike [any one else]_{2963-any one else} . At the door of [the station]_{3580-the station} [she]_{129-katharine} paused , and tried to collect [her]_{129-katharine} thoughts . [He]_154-ralph had gone to [[her]_{129-katharine} house]_{677-her house} . By taking [a cab]_{3079-a cab} [she]_{129-katharine} could be there probably in advance of [him]_154-ralph . But [she]_{129-katharine} pictured [herself]_{129-katharine} opening [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} door , and [William]_170-william and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} looking up , and [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s entrance a moment later , and the glances — the insinuations . No ; [she]_{129-katharine} could not face it . [She]_{129-katharine} would write [him]_154-ralph a letter and take it at once to [[his]_154-ralph house]_{5825-his house} . [She]_{129-katharine} bought paper and pencil at the bookstall , and entered [an A.B.C. shop]_{5826-an a.b.c. shop} , where , by ordering a cup of coffee , [she]_{129-katharine} secured an empty table , and began at vice to write : “_[2666-her] [I]_0-i came to meet [you]_2667-you and [I]_0-i have missed [you]_2667-you . [I]_0-i could not face [William]_170-william and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [They]_2668-they want [us]_2669-we — ” here [she]_{129-katharine} paused . “_[2668-they] [They]_2668-they insist that [we]_2669-we are engaged , ” [she]_{129-katharine} substituted , “_[2668-they] and [we]_2669-we could n’t talk at all , or explain anything . [I]_0-i want — ” [Her]_{129-katharine} wants were so vast , now that [she]_{129-katharine} was in communication with [Ralph]_154-ralph , that the pencil was utterly inadequate to conduct them on to the paper ; it seemed as if the whole torrent of Kingsway had to run down [her]_{129-katharine} pencil . [She]_{129-katharine} gazed intently at a notice hanging on the gold - encrusted wall opposite , “_[0-i] ... to say all kinds of things , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added , writing each word with the painstaking of [a child]_{541-a child} . But , when [she]_{129-katharine} raised [her]_{129-katharine} eyes again to meditate the next sentence , [she]_{129-katharine} was aware of [a waitress , whose expression intimated that it was closing time]_{5828-a waitress , whose expression intimated that it was closing time} , and , looking round , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} saw [herself]_{129-katharine} almost [the last person left in [the shop]_{1617-the shop}]_{5829-the last person left in the shop} . [She]_{129-katharine} took up [her]_{129-katharine} letter , paid [her]_{129-katharine} bill , and found [herself]_{129-katharine} once more in [the street]_{397-the street} . [She]_{129-katharine} would now take [a cab]_{3079-a cab} to [Highgate]_6-highgate . But at that moment it flashed upon [her]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{129-katharine} could not remember the address . This check seemed to let fall a barrier across a very powerful current of desire . [She]_{129-katharine} ransacked [her]_{129-katharine} memory in desperation , hunting for the name , first by remembering the look of [the house]_{377-the house} , and then by trying , in memory , to retrace the words [she]_{129-katharine} had written once , at least , upon an envelope . The more [she]_{129-katharine} pressed the farther the words receded . Was [the house]_{377-the house} [an Orchard Something]_{5835-an orchard something} , on [the street]_{397-the street} [a Hill]_{2412-a hill} ? [She]_{129-katharine} gave it up . Never , since [she]_{129-katharine} was [a child]_{541-a child} , had [she]_{129-katharine} felt anything like this blankness and desolation . There rushed in upon [her]_{129-katharine} , as if [she]_{129-katharine} were waking from some dream , all the consequences of [her]_{129-katharine} inexplicable indolence . [She]_{129-katharine} figured [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s face as [he]_154-ralph turned from [her]_{129-katharine} door without a word of explanation , receiving [his]_154-ralph dismissal as a blow from [herself]_{129-katharine} , a callous intimation that [she]_{129-katharine} did not wish to see [him]_154-ralph . [She]_{129-katharine} followed [his]_154-ralph departure from [her]_{129-katharine} door ; but it was far more easy to see [him]_154-ralph marching far and fast in any direction for any length of time than to conceive that [he]_154-ralph would turn back to [Highgate]_6-highgate . Perhaps [he]_154-ralph would try once more to see [her]_{129-katharine} in [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} ? It was proof of the clearness with which [she]_{129-katharine} saw [him]_154-ralph , that [she]_{129-katharine} started forward as this possibility occurred to [her]_{129-katharine} , and almost raised [her]_{129-katharine} hand to beckon to [a cab]_{3079-a cab} . No ; [he]_154-ralph was too proud to come again ; [he]_154-ralph rejected the desire and walked on and on , on and on — If only [she]_{129-katharine} could read the names of [those visionary streets down which [he]_154-ralph passed]_{5840-those visionary streets down which he passed} ! But [her]_{129-katharine} imagination betrayed [her]_{129-katharine} at this point , or mocked [her]_{129-katharine} with a sense of [their]_{5840-those visionary streets down which he passed} strangeness , darkness , and distance . Indeed , instead of helping [herself]_{129-katharine} to any decision , [she]_{129-katharine} only filled [her]_{129-katharine} mind with the vast extent of [London]_2-london and the impossibility of finding [any single figure that wandered off this way and that way]_{5841-any single figure that wandered off this way and that way} , turned to the right and to the left , chose [that dingy little back street where [the children]_{3583-the children} were playing in [the road]_{941-the road}]_{5842-that dingy little back street where the children were playing in the road} , and so — [She]_{129-katharine} roused [herself]_{129-katharine} impatiently . [She]_{129-katharine} walked rapidly along [Holborn]_27-holborn . Soon [she]_{129-katharine} turned and walked as rapidly in the other direction . This indecision was not merely odious , but had something that alarmed [her]_{129-katharine} about it , as [she]_{129-katharine} had been alarmed slightly once or twice already that day ; [she]_{129-katharine} felt unable to cope with the strength of [her]_{129-katharine} own desires . To [a person controlled by habit]_{5845-a person controlled by habit} , there was humiliation as well as alarm in this sudden release of what appeared to be a very powerful as well as an unreasonable force . An aching in the muscles of [her]_{129-katharine} right hand now showed [her]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{129-katharine} was crushing [her]_{129-katharine} gloves and the map of [Norfolk]_79-norfolk in a grip sufficient to crack a more solid object . [She]_{129-katharine} relaxed [her]_{129-katharine} grasp ; [she]_{129-katharine} looked anxiously at the faces of [the passers - by]_{3750-the passers - by} to see whether [their]_{3750-the passers - by} eyes rested on [her]_{129-katharine} for a moment longer than was natural , or with any curiosity . But having smoothed out [her]_{129-katharine} gloves , and done what [she]_{129-katharine} could to look as usual , [she]_{129-katharine} forgot spectators , and was once more given up to [her]_{129-katharine} desperate desire to find [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . It was a desire now — wild , irrational , unexplained , resembling something felt in childhood . Once more [she]_{129-katharine} blamed [herself]_{129-katharine} bitterly for [her]_{129-katharine} carelessness . But finding [herself]_{129-katharine} opposite [the Tube station]_{4568-the tube station} , [she]_{129-katharine} pulled [herself]_{129-katharine} up and took counsel swiftly , as of old . It flashed upon [her]_{129-katharine} that [she]_{129-katharine} would go at once to [Mary Datchet]_175-mary , and ask [her]_175-mary to give [her]_{129-katharine} [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s address . The decision was a relief , not only in giving [her]_{129-katharine} a goal , but in providing [her]_{129-katharine} with a rational excuse for [her]_{129-katharine} own actions . It gave [her]_{129-katharine} a goal certainly , but the fact of having a goal led [her]_{129-katharine} to dwell exclusively upon [her]_{129-katharine} obsession ; so that when [she]_{129-katharine} rang the bell of [[Mary]_175-mary ’s flat]_{5276-mary ’s flat} , [she]_{129-katharine} did not for a moment consider how this demand would strike [Mary]_175-mary . To [her]_{129-katharine} extreme annoyance [Mary]_175-mary was not at [home]_2992-home ; [a charwoman]_{5850-a charwoman} opened the door . All [Katharine]_{129-katharine} could do was to accept the invitation to wait . [She]_{129-katharine} waited for , perhaps , fifteen minutes , and spent [them]_5851-them in pacing from one end of [the room]_{379-the room} to the other without intermission . When [she]_{129-katharine} heard [Mary]_175-mary ’s key in the door [she]_{129-katharine} paused in front of the fireplace , and [Mary]_175-mary found [her]_175-mary standing upright , looking at once expectant and determined , like [a person who has come on an errand of such importance that it must be broached without preface]_{5853-a person who has come on an errand of such importance that it must be broached without preface} . [Mary]_175-mary exclaimed in surprise . “_[0-i] Yes , yes , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , brushing these remarks aside , as if they were in the way . “_[0-i] Have [you]_2670-you had tea ? ” “_[2670-you] Oh yes , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , thinking that [she]_{129-katharine} had had tea hundreds of years ago , somewhere or other . [Mary]_175-mary paused , took off [her]_175-mary gloves , and , finding matches , proceeded to light the fire . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} checked [her]_175-mary with an impatient movement , and said : “_[2670-you] Do n’t light the fire for [me]_0-i .... [I]_0-i want to know [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ’s address . ” [She]_0-i was holding a pencil and preparing to write on the envelope . [She]_0-i waited with an imperious expression . “_[154-ralph] [The Apple Orchard]_{2671-the apple orchard} , [Mount Ararat Road]_{107-mount ararat road} , [Highgate]_6-highgate , ” [Mary]_175-mary said , speaking slowly and rather strangely . “_[154-ralph] Oh , [I]_0-i remember now ! ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , with irritation at [her]_0-i own stupidity . “_[154-ralph] [I]_0-i suppose it would n’t take twenty minutes to drive [there]_2927-there ? ” [She]_0-i gathered up [her]_0-i purse and gloves and seemed about to go . “_[0-i] But [you]_0-i wo n’t find [him]_154-ralph , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , pausing with a match in [her]_175-mary hand . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who had already turned towards the door , stopped and looked at [her]_175-mary . “_[0-i] Why ? Where is [he]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph wo n’t have left [[his]_154-ralph office]_{1292-his office} . ” “_[154-ralph] But [he]_154-ralph has left [the office]_{3177-the office} , ” [she]_175-mary replied . “_[154-ralph] The only question is will [he]_154-ralph have reached [home]_2992-home yet ? [He]_154-ralph went to see [me]_0-i at [Chelsea]_10-chelsea ; [I]_0-i tried to meet [him]_154-ralph and missed [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph will have found no message to explain . So [I]_0-i must find [him]_154-ralph — as soon as possible . ” [Mary]_175-mary took in the situation at [her]_175-mary leisure . “_[0-i] But why not telephone ? ” [she]_175-mary said . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} immediately dropped all that [she]_{129-katharine} was holding ; [her]_{129-katharine} strained expression relaxed , and exclaiming , “_[0-i] Of course ! Why did n’t [I]_0-i think of that ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} seized the telephone receiver and gave [her]_{129-katharine} number . [Mary]_175-mary looked at [her]_{129-katharine} steadily , and then left [the room]_{379-the room} . At length [Katharine]_{129-katharine} heard , through all the superimposed weight of [London]_2-london , the mysterious sound of feet in [[her]_{129-katharine} own house]_{5855-her own house} mounting to [the little room]_{443-the little room} , where [she]_{129-katharine} could almost see the pictures and the books ; [she]_{129-katharine} listened with extreme intentness to the preparatory vibrations , and then established [her]_{129-katharine} identity . “_[0-i] Has [Mr. Denham]_131-denham called ? ” “_[2525-miss] Yes , [miss]_2525-miss . ” “_[2525-miss] Did [he]_131-denham ask for [me]_0-i ? ” “_[131-denham] Yes . [We]_2677-we said [you]_0-i were out , [miss]_2525-miss . ” “_[2677-we] Did [he]_131-denham leave any message ? ” “_[131-denham] No . [He]_131-denham went away . About twenty minutes ago , [miss]_2525-miss . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} hung up the receiver . [She]_{129-katharine} walked the length of [the room]_{379-the room} in such acute disappointment that [she]_{129-katharine} did not at first perceive [Mary]_175-mary ’s absence . Then [she]_{129-katharine} called in a harsh and peremptory tone : “_[175-mary] [Mary]_175-mary . ” [Mary]_175-mary was taking off [her]_175-mary outdoor things in [the bedroom]_{5858-the bedroom} . [She]_175-mary heard [Katharine]_{129-katharine} call [her]_175-mary . “_[175-mary] Yes , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[175-mary] [I]_0-i sha n’t be a moment . ” But the moment prolonged itself , as if for some reason [Mary]_175-mary found satisfaction in making [herself]_175-mary not only tidy , but seemly and ornamented . A stage in [her]_175-mary life had been accomplished in the last months which left its traces for ever upon [her]_175-mary bearing . Youth , and the bloom of youth , had receded , leaving the purpose of [her]_175-mary face to show itself in the hollower cheeks , the firmer lips , the eyes no longer spontaneously observing at random , but narrowed upon an end which was not near at hand . [This woman]_{5859-this woman} was now [a serviceable human being]_{5860-a serviceable human being} , mistress of [her]_175-mary own destiny , and thus , by some combination of ideas , fit to be adorned with the dignity of silver chains and glowing brooches . [She]_175-mary came in at [her]_175-mary leisure and asked : “_[0-i] Well , did [you]_0-i get an answer ? ” “_[0-i] [He]_2680-he has left [Chelsea]_10-chelsea already , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_[2680-he] Still , [he]_2680-he wo n’t be [home]_2992-home yet , ” said [Mary]_175-mary . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was once more irresistibly drawn to gaze upon an imaginary map of [London]_2-london , to follow the twists and turns of [unnamed streets]_{5861-unnamed streets} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll ring up [[his]_2680-he home]_{2682-his home} and ask whether [he]_2680-he ’s back . ” [Mary]_175-mary crossed to the telephone and , after a series of brief remarks , announced : “_[0-i] No . [[His]_2680-he sister]_{578-his sister} says [he]_2680-he has n’t come back yet . ” “_{[578-his sister]} Ah ! ” [She]_{129-katharine} applied [her]_{129-katharine} ear to the telephone once more . “_{[578-his sister]} [They]_2684-they ’ve had a message . [He]_2680-he wo n’t be back to dinner . ” “_[2680-he] Then what is [he]_2680-he going to do ? ” Very pale , and with [her]_{129-katharine} large eyes fixed not so much upon [Mary]_175-mary as upon vistas of unresponding blankness , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} addressed [herself]_{129-katharine} also not so much to [Mary]_175-mary as to the unrelenting spirit which now appeared to mock [her]_{129-katharine} from every quarter of [her]_{129-katharine} survey . After waiting a little time [Mary]_175-mary remarked indifferently : “_[0-i] [I]_0-i really do n’t know . ” Slackly lying back in [her]_175-mary armchair , [she]_175-mary watched the little flames beginning to creep among the coals indifferently , as if they , too , were very distant and indifferent . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [her]_175-mary indignantly and rose . “_[0-i] Possibly [he]_2680-he may come here , ” [Mary]_175-mary continued , without altering the abstract tone of [her]_175-mary voice . “_[0-i] It would be worth [your]_2685-your while to wait if [you]_2685-your want to see [him]_2680-he to - night . ” [She]_175-mary bent forward and touched the wood , so that the flames slipped in between the interstices of the coal . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} reflected . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll wait half an hour , ” [she]_0-i said . [Mary]_175-mary rose , went to the table , spread out [her]_175-mary papers under the green - shaded lamp and , with an action that was becoming a habit , twisted a lock of hair round and round in [her]_175-mary fingers . Once [she]_175-mary looked unperceived at [[her]_175-mary visitor]_{5226-her visitor} , who never moved , who sat so still , with eyes so intent , that [you]_5863-you could almost fancy that [she]_{5226-her visitor} was watching something , some face that never looked up at [her]_{5226-her visitor} . [Mary]_175-mary found [herself]_175-mary unable to go on writing . [She]_175-mary turned [her]_175-mary eyes away , but only to be aware of the presence of what [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at . There were ghosts in [the room]_{379-the room} , and one , strangely and sadly , was the ghost of [herself]_{129-katharine} . The minutes went by . “_[0-i] What would be the time now ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} at last . The half - hour was not quite spent . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m going to get dinner ready , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , rising from [her]_175-mary table . “_[0-i] Then [I]_0-i ’ll go , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Why do n’t [you]_0-i stay ? Where are [you]_0-i going ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked round [the room]_{379-the room} , conveying [her]_{129-katharine} uncertainty in [her]_{129-katharine} glance . “_[0-i] Perhaps [I]_0-i might find [him]_2686-him , ” [she]_0-i mused . “_[0-i] But why should it matter ? [You]_0-i ’ll see [him]_2686-him another day . ” [Mary]_175-mary spoke , and intended to speak , cruelly enough . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i was wrong to come here , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . [Their]_5866-their eyes met with antagonism , and [neither]_5867-neither flinched . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i had a perfect right to come here , ” [Mary]_175-mary answered . A loud knocking at the door interrupted [them]_5866-their . [Mary]_175-mary went to open it , and returning with some note or parcel , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked away so that [Mary]_175-mary might not read [her]_{129-katharine} disappointment . “_[0-i] Of course [you]_0-i had a right to come , ” [Mary]_175-mary repeated , laying the note upon the table . “_[0-i] No , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Except that when [one ’s desperate one]_{2687-one ’s desperate one} has a sort of right . [I]_0-i am desperate . How do [I]_0-i know what ’s happening to [him]_2686-him now ? [He]_2686-him may do anything . [He]_2686-him may wander about [the streets]_{388-the streets} all night . Anything may happen to [him]_2686-him . ” [She]_0-i spoke with a self - abandonment that [Mary]_175-mary had never seen in [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i know [you]_0-i exaggerate ; [you]_0-i ’re talking nonsense , ” [she]_0-i said roughly . “_[0-i] [Mary]_175-mary , [I]_0-i must talk — [I]_0-i must tell [you]_175-mary — ” “_[0-i] [You]_0-i need n’t tell [me]_0-i anything , ” [Mary]_175-mary interrupted [her]_0-i . “_[0-i] Ca n’t [I]_0-i see for [myself]_0-i ? ” “_[0-i] No , no , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[0-i] It ’s not that — ” [Her]_0-i look , passing beyond [Mary]_175-mary , beyond the verge of [the room]_{379-the room} and out beyond any words that came [her]_0-i way , wildly and passionately , convinced [Mary]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary , at any rate , could not follow such a glance to its end . [She]_175-mary was baffled ; [she]_175-mary tried to think [herself]_175-mary back again into the height of [her]_175-mary love for [Ralph]_154-ralph . Pressing [her]_175-mary fingers upon [her]_175-mary eyelids , [she]_175-mary murmured : “_[2689-you] [You]_2689-you forget that [I]_0-i loved [him]_2690-him too . [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i knew [him]_2690-him . [I]_0-i did know [him]_2690-him . ” And yet , what had [she]_175-mary known ? [She]_175-mary could not remember it any more . [She]_175-mary pressed [her]_175-mary eyeballs until they struck stars and suns into [her]_175-mary darkness . [She]_175-mary convinced [herself]_175-mary that [she]_175-mary was stirring among ashes . [She]_175-mary desisted . [She]_175-mary was astonished at [her]_175-mary discovery . [She]_175-mary did not love [Ralph]_154-ralph any more . [She]_175-mary looked back dazed into [the room]_{379-the room} , and [her]_175-mary eyes rested upon the table with [its]_5870-its lamp - lit papers . The steady radiance seemed for a second to have its counterpart within [her]_175-mary ; [she]_175-mary shut [her]_175-mary eyes ; [she]_175-mary opened them and looked at the lamp again ; another love burnt in the place of [the old one]_{5871-the old one} , or so , in a momentary glance of amazement , [she]_175-mary guessed before the revelation was over and the old surroundings asserted themselves . [She]_175-mary leant in silence against the mantelpiece . “_[2690-him] There are different ways of loving , ” [she]_175-mary murmured , half to [herself]_175-mary , at length . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} made no reply and seemed unaware of [her]_175-mary words . [She]_{129-katharine} seemed absorbed in [her]_{129-katharine} own thoughts . “_[2690-him] Perhaps [he]_2691-he ’s waiting in [the street]_{397-the street} again to - night , ” [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[2691-he] [I]_0-i ’ll go now . [I]_0-i might find [him]_2691-he . ” “_[0-i] It ’s far more likely that [he]_2691-he ’ll come here , ” said [Mary]_175-mary , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , after considering for a moment , said : “_[2691-he] [I]_0-i ’ll wait another half - hour . ” [She]_{129-katharine} sank down into [her]_{129-katharine} chair again , and took up the same position which [Mary]_175-mary had compared to the position of [one watching an unseeing face]_{5872-one watching an unseeing face} . [She]_{129-katharine} watched , indeed , not a face , but a procession , not of [people]_383-people , but of life itself : the good and bad ; the meaning ; the past , the present , and the future . All this seemed apparent to [her]_{129-katharine} , and [she]_{129-katharine} was not ashamed of [her]_{129-katharine} extravagance so much as exalted to one of the pinnacles of existence , where it behoved [the world]_{478-the world} to do [her]_{129-katharine} homage . [No one]_{2921-no one} but [she]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} knew what it meant to miss [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph on that particular night ; into this inadequate event crowded feelings that the great crises of life might have failed to call forth . [She]_{129-katharine} had missed [him]_154-ralph , and knew the bitterness of all failure ; [she]_{129-katharine} desired [him]_154-ralph , and knew the torment of all passion . It did not matter what trivial accidents led to this culmination . Nor did [she]_{129-katharine} care how extravagant [she]_{129-katharine} appeared , nor how openly [she]_{129-katharine} showed [her]_{129-katharine} feelings . When the dinner was ready [Mary]_175-mary told [her]_{129-katharine} to come , and [she]_{129-katharine} came submissively , as if [she]_{129-katharine} let [Mary]_175-mary direct [her]_{129-katharine} movements for [her]_{129-katharine} . [They]_5876-they ate and drank together almost in silence , and when [Mary]_175-mary told [her]_{129-katharine} to eat more , [she]_{129-katharine} ate more ; when [she]_{129-katharine} was told to drink wine , [she]_{129-katharine} drank it . Nevertheless , beneath this superficial obedience , [Mary]_175-mary knew that [she]_175-mary was following [her]_175-mary own thoughts unhindered . [She]_175-mary was not inattentive so much as remote ; [she]_175-mary looked at once so unseeing and so intent upon some vision of [her]_175-mary own that [Mary]_175-mary gradually felt more than protective — [she]_175-mary became actually alarmed at the prospect of some collision between [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [the forces of [the outside world]_{5878-the outside world}]_{5877-the forces of the outside world} . Directly [they]_5879-they had done , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} announced [her]_{129-katharine} intention of going . “_[0-i] But where are [you]_2693-her going to ? ” [Mary]_175-mary asked , desiring vaguely to hinder [her]_2693-her . “_[2693-her] Oh , [I]_0-i ’m going [home]_2992-home — no , to [Highgate]_6-highgate perhaps . ” [Mary]_175-mary saw that it would be useless to try to stop [her]_2693-her . All [she]_175-mary could do was to insist upon coming too , but [she]_175-mary met with no opposition ; [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed indifferent to [her]_175-mary presence . In a few minutes [they]_5879-they were walking along [the Strand]_{19-the strand} . [They]_5879-they walked so rapidly that [Mary]_175-mary was deluded into the belief that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} knew where [she]_175-mary was going . [She]_175-mary [herself]_175-mary was not attentive . [She]_175-mary was glad of the movement along [lamp - lit streets]_{5880-lamp - lit streets} in the open air . [She]_175-mary was fingering , painfully and with fear , yet with strange hope , too , the discovery which [she]_175-mary had stumbled upon unexpectedly that night . [She]_175-mary was free once more at the cost of a gift , the best , perhaps , that [she]_175-mary could offer , but [she]_175-mary was , thank [Heaven]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , in love no longer . [She]_175-mary was tempted to spend the first instalment of [her]_175-mary freedom in some dissipation ; in [the pit of [the Coliseum]_{108-the coliseum}]_{5881-the pit of the coliseum} , for example , since [they]_5879-they were now passing the door . Why not go in and celebrate [her]_175-mary independence of the tyranny of love ? Or , perhaps , the top of an omnibus bound for [some remote place such as [Camberwell]_{109-camberwell}]_{5882-some remote place such as camberwell} , or [Sidcup]_110-sidcup , or [the Welsh Harp]_{5883-the welsh harp} would suit [her]_175-mary better . [She]_175-mary noticed these names painted on little boards for the first time for weeks . Or should [she]_175-mary return to [[her]_175-mary room]_{798-her room} , and spend the night working out the details of a very enlightened and ingenious scheme ? Of all possibilities this appealed to [her]_175-mary most , and brought to mind the fire , the lamplight , the steady glow which had seemed lit in the place where a more passionate flame had once burnt . Now [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stopped , and [Mary]_175-mary woke to the fact that instead of having a goal [she]_175-mary had evidently none . [She]_175-mary paused at the edge of the crossing , and looked this way and that , and finally made as if in the direction of [Haverstock Hill]_{111-haverstock hill} . “_[2693-her] Look here — where are [you]_2695-you going ? ” [Mary]_175-mary cried , catching [her]_2695-you by the hand . “_[2696-we] [We]_2696-we must take [that cab]_{3091-that cab} and go [home]_2992-home . ” [She]_175-mary hailed [a cab]_{3079-a cab} and insisted that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} should get in , while [she]_175-mary directed [the driver]_{972-the driver} to take [them]_2696-we to [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} submitted . “_[2696-we] Very well , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[2696-we] [We]_2696-we may as well go [there]_2927-there as anywhere else . ” A gloom seemed to have fallen on [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} lay back in [her]_{129-katharine} corner , silent and apparently exhausted . [Mary]_175-mary , in spite of [her]_175-mary own preoccupation , was struck by [her]_{129-katharine} pallor and [her]_175-mary attitude of dejection . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m sure [we]_2696-we shall find [him]_2700-him , ” [she]_0-i said more gently than [she]_0-i had yet spoken . “_[0-i] It may be too late , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . Without understanding [her]_{129-katharine} , [Mary]_175-mary began to pity [her]_{129-katharine} for what [she]_{129-katharine} was suffering . “_[0-i] Nonsense , ” [she]_0-i said , taking [her]_{129-katharine} hand and rubbing it . “_[0-i] If [we]_2696-we do n’t find [him]_2700-him [there]_2927-there [we]_2696-we shall find [him]_2700-him somewhere else . ” “_[2700-him] But suppose [he]_2700-him ’s walking about [the streets]_{388-the streets} — for hours and hours ? ” [She]_0-i leant forward and looked out of the window . “_[2700-him] [He]_2700-him may refuse ever to speak to [me]_0-i again , ” [she]_0-i said in a low voice , almost to [herself]_0-i . The exaggeration was so immense that [Mary]_175-mary did not attempt to cope with it , save by keeping hold of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s wrist . [She]_175-mary half expected that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} might open the door suddenly and jump out . Perhaps [Katharine]_{129-katharine} perceived the purpose with which [her]_{129-katharine} hand was held . “_[2700-him] Do n’t be frightened , ” [she]_0-i said , with a little laugh . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not going to jump out of [the cab]_{971-the cab} . It would n’t do much good after all . ” Upon this , [Mary]_175-mary ostentatiously withdrew [her]_175-mary hand . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ought to have apologized , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} continued , with an effort , “_[0-i] for bringing [you]_2704-you into all this business ; [I]_0-i have n’t told [you]_2704-you half , either . [I]_0-i ’m no longer engaged to [William Rodney]_176-rodney . [He]_176-rodney is to marry [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} . It ’s all arranged — all perfectly right .... And after [he]_176-rodney ’d waited in [the streets]_{388-the streets} for hours and hours , [William]_176-rodney made [me]_0-i bring [him]_176-rodney in . [He]_176-rodney was standing under the lamp - post watching [our]_2706-we windows . [He]_176-rodney was perfectly white when [he]_176-rodney came into [the room]_{379-the room} . [William]_176-rodney left [us]_2706-we alone , and [we]_2706-we sat and talked . It seems ages and ages ago , now . Was it last night ? Have [I]_0-i been out long ? What ’s the time ? ” [She]_0-i sprang forward to catch sight of a clock , as if the exact time had some important bearing on [her]_0-i case . “_[176-rodney] Only half - past eight ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed . “_[176-rodney] Then [he]_176-rodney may be there still . ” [She]_0-i leant out of the window and told [the cabman]_{5887-the cabman} to drive faster . “_[176-rodney] But if [he]_176-rodney ’s not [there]_2927-there , what shall [I]_0-i do ? Where could [I]_0-i find [him]_176-rodney ? [The streets]_{388-the streets} are so crowded . ” “_[2706-we] [We]_2706-we shall find [him]_176-rodney , ” [Mary]_175-mary repeated . [Mary]_175-mary had no doubt but that somehow or other [they]_2706-we would find [him]_176-rodney . But suppose [they]_2706-we did find [him]_176-rodney ? [She]_0-i began to think of [Ralph]_154-ralph with a sort of strangeness , in [her]_0-i effort to understand how [he]_154-ralph could be capable of satisfying this extraordinary desire . Once more [she]_0-i thought [herself]_0-i back to [her]_0-i old view of [him]_154-ralph and could , with an effort , recall the haze which surrounded [his]_154-ralph figure , and the sense of confused , heightened exhilaration which lay all about [[his]_154-ralph neighborhood]_{5888-his neighborhood} , so that for months at a time [she]_0-i had never exactly heard [his]_154-ralph voice or seen [his]_154-ralph face — or so it now seemed to [her]_0-i . The pain of [her]_0-i loss shot through [her]_0-i . Nothing would ever make up — not success , or happiness , or oblivion . But this pang was immediately followed by the assurance that now , at any rate , [she]_0-i knew the truth ; and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [she]_0-i thought , stealing a look at [her]_{129-katharine} , did not know the truth ; yes , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was immensely to be pitied . [The cab]_{971-the cab} , which had been caught in the traffic , was now liberated and sped on down [Sloane Street]_{112-sloane street} . [Mary]_175-mary was conscious of the tension with which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} marked its progress , as if [her]_175-mary mind were fixed upon a point in front of [them]_5890-them , and marked , second by second , [their]_5890-them approach to it . [She]_175-mary said nothing , and in silence [Mary]_175-mary began to fix [her]_175-mary mind , in sympathy at first , and later in forgetfulness of [[her]_175-mary companion]_{3292-her companion} , upon a point in front of [them]_5890-them . [She]_175-mary imagined a point distant as a low star upon the horizon of the dark . There for [her]_175-mary too , for [them]_5890-them both , was the goal for which [they]_5890-them were striving , and the end for the ardors of [their]_5890-them spirits was the same : but where it was , or what it was , or why [she]_175-mary felt convinced that [they]_5890-them were united in search of it , as [they]_5890-them drove swiftly down [the streets of [London]_2-london]_{1326-the streets of london} side by side , [she]_175-mary could not have said . “_[2706-we] At last , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} breathed , as [the cab]_{971-the cab} drew up at the door . [She]_{129-katharine} jumped out and scanned the pavement on either side . [Mary]_175-mary , meanwhile , rang the bell . The door opened as [Katharine]_{129-katharine} assured [herself]_{129-katharine} that [no one of [the people within view]_{5895-the people within view}]_{5894-no one of the people within view} had any likeness to [Ralph]_154-ralph . On seeing [her]_{129-katharine} , [the maid]_{522-the maid} said at once : “_[131-denham] [Mr. Denham]_131-denham called again , [miss]_2525-miss . [He]_131-denham has been waiting for [you]_2525-miss for some time . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} vanished from [Mary]_175-mary ’s sight . The door shut between [them]_5897-them , and [Mary]_175-mary walked slowly and thoughtfully up [the street]_{397-the street} alone . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} turned at once to [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} . But with [her]_{129-katharine} fingers upon the handle , [she]_{129-katharine} held back . Perhaps [she]_{129-katharine} realized that this was a moment which would never come again . Perhaps , for a second , it seemed to [her]_{129-katharine} that no reality could equal the imagination [she]_{129-katharine} had formed . Perhaps [she]_{129-katharine} was restrained by some vague fear or anticipation , which made [her]_{129-katharine} dread any exchange or interruption . But if these doubts and fears or this supreme bliss restrained [her]_{129-katharine} , it was only for a moment . In another second [she]_{129-katharine} had turned the handle and , biting [her]_{129-katharine} lip to control [herself]_{129-katharine} , [she]_{129-katharine} opened the door upon [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . An extraordinary clearness of sight seemed to possess [her]_{129-katharine} on beholding [him]_154-ralph . So little , so single , so separate from all else [he]_154-ralph appeared , who had been the cause of these extreme agitations and aspirations . [She]_{129-katharine} could have laughed in [his]_154-ralph face . But , gaining upon this clearness of sight against [her]_{129-katharine} will , and to [her]_{129-katharine} dislike , was a flood of confusion , of relief , of certainty , of humility , of desire no longer to strive and to discriminate , yielding to which , [she]_{129-katharine} let [herself]_{129-katharine} sink within [his]_154-ralph arms and confessed [her]_{129-katharine} love . [Nobody]_2970-nobody asked [Katharine]_{129-katharine} any questions next day . If cross - examined [she]_{129-katharine} might have said that [nobody]_2970-nobody spoke to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} worked a little , wrote a little , ordered the dinner , and sat , for longer than [she]_{129-katharine} knew , with [her]_{129-katharine} head on [her]_{129-katharine} hand piercing whatever lay before [her]_{129-katharine} , whether it was a letter or a dictionary , as if it were a film upon the deep prospects that revealed themselves to [her]_{129-katharine} kindling and brooding eyes . [She]_{129-katharine} rose once , and going to the bookcase , took out [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s Greek dictionary and spread the sacred pages of symbols and figures before [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} smoothed the sheets with a mixture of affectionate amusement and hope . Would other eyes look on them with [her]_{129-katharine} one day ? The thought , long intolerable , was now just bearable . [She]_{129-katharine} was quite unaware of the anxiety with which [her]_{129-katharine} movements were watched and [her]_{129-katharine} expression scanned . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was careful not to be caught looking at [her]_{129-katharine} , and [their]_5903-their conversation was so prosaic that were it not for certain jolts and jerks between the sentences , as if the mind were kept with difficulty to the rails , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} could have detected nothing of a suspicious nature in what [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} overheard . [William]_176-rodney , when [he]_176-rodney came in late that afternoon and found [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} alone , had a very serious piece of news to impart . [He]_176-rodney had just passed [Katharine]_{129-katharine} in [the street]_{397-the street} and [she]_{303-cassandra} had failed to recognize [him]_176-rodney . “_[131-denham] That does n’t matter with [me]_0-i , of course , but suppose it happened with [somebody else]_{401-somebody else} ? What would [they]_2712-they think ? [They]_2712-they would suspect something merely from [her]_2713-her expression . [She]_2713-her looked — [she]_2713-her looked”—he hesitated—“like_[2713-her] some one walking in [her]_2713-her sleep . ” To [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} the significant thing was that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had gone out without telling [her]_{303-cassandra} , and [she]_{303-cassandra} interpreted this to mean that [she]_{129-katharine} had gone out to meet [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . But to [her]_{303-cassandra} surprise [William]_176-rodney drew no comfort from this probability . “_[2713-her] Once throw [conventions]_{2714-conventions} aside , ” [he]_176-rodney began , “_[2713-her] once do the things that [people]_383-people do n’t do — ” and the fact that [you]_{303-cassandra} are going to meet [a young man]_{378-a young man} is no longer proof of anything , except , indeed , that [people]_383-people will talk . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} saw , not without a pang of jealousy , that [he]_176-rodney was extremely solicitous that [people]_383-people should not talk about [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , as if [his]_176-rodney interest in [her]_{129-katharine} were still proprietary rather than friendly . As [they]_5908-they were both ignorant of [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s visit the night before [they]_5908-they had not that reason to comfort [themselves]_5908-they with the thought that matters were hastening to a crisis . These absences of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s , moreover , left [them]_5908-they exposed to interruptions which almost destroyed [their]_5908-they pleasure in being alone together . The rainy evening made it impossible to go out ; and , indeed , according to [William]_176-rodney ’s code , it was considerably more damning to be seen out of doors than surprised within . [They]_5908-they were so much at the mercy of bells and doors that [they]_5908-they could hardly talk of [Macaulay]_361-macaulay with any conviction , and [William]_176-rodney preferred to defer the second act of [his]_176-rodney tragedy until another day . Under these circumstances [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} showed [herself]_{303-cassandra} at [her]_{303-cassandra} best . [She]_{129-katharine} sympathized with [William]_176-rodney ’s anxieties and did [her]_{129-katharine} utmost to share them ; but still , to be alone together , to be running risks together , to be partners in the wonderful conspiracy , was to [her]_{129-katharine} so enthralling that [she]_{129-katharine} was always forgetting discretion , breaking out into exclamations and admirations which finally made [William]_176-rodney believe that , although deplorable and upsetting , the situation was not without its sweetness . When the door did open , [he]_176-rodney started , but braved the forthcoming revelation . It was not [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} , however , but [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} who entered , closely followed by [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . With a set expression which showed what an effort [she]_{129-katharine} was making , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} encountered [their]_2716-their eyes , and saying , “_[383-people] [We]_2716-their ’re not going to interrupt [you]_2717-you , ” [she]_{129-katharine} led [Denham]_154-ralph behind the curtain which hung in front of [the room]_{379-the room} with the relics . [This refuge]_{5910-this refuge} was none of [her]_{129-katharine} willing , but confronted with wet pavements and only [some belated museum]_{5911-some belated museum} or [Tube station]_{5912-tube station} for shelter , [she]_{129-katharine} was forced , for [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s sake , to face the discomforts of [[her]_{129-katharine} own house]_{5855-her own house} . Under the street lamps [she]_{129-katharine} had thought [him]_154-ralph looking both tired and strained . Thus separated , [the two couples]_{5914-the two couples} remained occupied for some time with [their]_{5914-the two couples} own affairs . Only the lowest murmurs penetrated from one section of [the room]_{379-the room} to the other . At length [the maid]_{522-the maid} came in to bring a message that [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} would not be [home]_2992-home for dinner . It was true that there was no need that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} should be informed , but [William]_176-rodney began to inquire [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s opinion in such a way as to show that , with or without reason , [he]_176-rodney wished very much to speak to [her]_{303-cassandra} . From motives of [her]_{303-cassandra} own [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} dissuaded [him]_176-rodney . “_[2716-their] But do n’t [you]_2718-you think it ’s a little unsociable ? ” [he]_176-rodney hazarded . “_[2718-you] Why not do something amusing?—go to the play , for instance ? Why not ask [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph , eh ? ” The coupling of [their]_2720-they names in this manner caused [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s heart to leap with pleasure . “_[154-ralph] Do n’t [you]_2719-you think [they]_2720-they must be — ? ” [she]_{303-cassandra} began , but [William]_176-rodney hastily took [her]_{303-cassandra} up . “_[2719-you] Oh , [I]_0-i know nothing about that . [I]_0-i only thought [we]_2721-we might amuse [ourselves]_2721-we , as [[your]_2718-you uncle]_{1436-your uncle} ’s out . ” [He]_176-rodney proceeded on [his]_176-rodney embassy with a mixture of excitement and embarrassment which caused [him]_176-rodney to turn aside with [his]_176-rodney hand on the curtain , and to examine intently for several moments the portrait of [a lady]_{4354-a lady} , optimistically said by [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} to be an early work of [Sir Joshua Reynolds]_{364-sir joshua reynolds} . Then , with some unnecessary fumbling , [he]_176-rodney drew aside the curtain , and with [his]_176-rodney eyes fixed upon the ground , repeated [his]_176-rodney message and suggested that [they]_2720-they should all spend the evening at the play . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} accepted the suggestion with such cordiality that it was strange to find [her]_{129-katharine} of no clear mind as to the precise spectacle [she]_{129-katharine} wished to see . [She]_{129-katharine} left the choice entirely to [Ralph]_154-ralph and [William]_176-rodney , who , taking counsel fraternally over an evening paper , found [themselves]_2720-they in agreement as to the merits of a music - hall . This being arranged , everything else followed easily and enthusiastically . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had never been to [a music - hall]_{5919-a music - hall} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} instructed [her]_{303-cassandra} in the peculiar delights of an entertainment where [Polar bears]_{5920-polar bears} follow directly upon [ladies in full evening dress]_{5921-ladies in full evening dress} , and the stage is alternately [a garden of mystery]_{5922-a garden of mystery} , [a [milliner]_{5924-milliner} ’s band - box]_{5923-a milliner ’s band - box} , and [a fried - fish shop in [the Mile End Road]_{5926-the mile end road}]_{5925-a fried - fish shop in the mile end road} . Whatever the exact nature of the program that night , it fulfilled the highest purposes of dramatic art , so far , at least , as [four of [the audience]_{862-the audience}]_{5927-four of the audience} were concerned . No doubt [the actors]_{4743-the actors} and [the authors]_{5930-the authors} would have been surprised to learn in what shape [their]_2720-they efforts reached those particular eyes and ears ; but [they]_2720-they could not have denied that the effect as a whole was tremendous . [The hall]_{3431-the hall} resounded with brass and strings , alternately of enormous pomp and majesty , and then of sweetest lamentation . The reds and creams of the background , the lyres and harps and urns and skulls , the protuberances of plaster , the fringes of scarlet plush , the sinking and blazing of innumerable electric lights , could scarcely have been surpassed for decorative effect by [any craftsman of the ancient or modern world]_{5932-any craftsman of the ancient or modern world} . Then there was [the audience itself]_{5933-the audience itself} , bare - shouldered , tufted and garlanded in [the stalls]_{5934-the stalls} , decorous but festal in the balconies , and frankly fit for daylight and street life in [the galleries]_{5935-the galleries} . But , however [they]_2720-they differed when looked at separately , [they]_2720-they shared the same huge , lovable nature in the bulk , which murmured and swayed and quivered all the time the dancing and juggling and love - making went on in front of it , slowly laughed and reluctantly left off laughing , and applauded with a helter - skelter generosity which sometimes became unanimous and overwhelming . Once [William]_176-rodney saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} leaning forward and clapping [her]_{129-katharine} hands with an abandonment that startled [him]_176-rodney . [Her]_{129-katharine} laugh rang out with the laughter of [the audience]_{862-the audience} . For a second [he]_176-rodney was puzzled , as if this laughter disclosed something that [he]_176-rodney had never suspected in [her]_{129-katharine} . But then [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s face caught [his]_176-rodney eye , gazing with astonishment at [the buffoon]_{5937-the buffoon} , not laughing , too deeply intent and surprised to laugh at what [she]_{129-katharine} saw , and for some moments [he]_176-rodney watched [her]_{129-katharine} as if [she]_{129-katharine} were [a child]_{541-a child} . The performance came to an end , the illusion dying out first here and then there , as [some]_5939-some rose to put on [their]_5939-some coats , [others]_1056-others stood upright to salute “_[355-god] [God]_355-god Save [the King]_{3595-the king} , ” [the musicians]_{5941-the musicians} folded [their]_{5941-the musicians} music and encased [their]_{5941-the musicians} instruments , and the lights sank one by one until [the house]_{377-the house} was empty , silent , and full of great shadows . Looking back over [her]_{303-cassandra} shoulder as [she]_{303-cassandra} followed [Ralph]_154-ralph through the swing doors , [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} marveled to see how the stage was already entirely without romance . But , [she]_{303-cassandra} wondered , did [they]_5943-they really cover all the seats in [brown holland]_{5944-brown holland} every night ? The success of this entertainment was such that before [they]_5943-they separated another expedition had been planned for the next day . The next day was Saturday ; therefore both [William]_176-rodney and [Ralph]_154-ralph were free to devote the whole afternoon to an expedition to [Greenwich]_94-greenwich , which [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had never seen , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} confused with [Dulwich]_113-dulwich . On this occasion [Ralph]_154-ralph was [[their]_5943-they guide]_{5945-their guide} . [He]_154-ralph brought [them]_5943-they without accident to [Greenwich]_94-greenwich . What exigencies of state or fantasies of imagination first gave birth to the cluster of pleasant places by which [London]_2-london is surrounded is matter of indifference now that [they]_5943-they have adapted [themselves]_5943-they so admirably to the needs of [people between the ages of twenty and thirty]_{5946-people between the ages of twenty and thirty} with Saturday afternoons to spend . Indeed , if [ghosts]_5947-ghosts have any interest in the affections of those who succeed [them]_5943-they [they]_5943-they must reap [their]_5943-they richest harvests when the fine weather comes again and [the lovers]_{3611-the lovers} , [the sightseers]_{5949-the sightseers} , and [the holiday - makers]_{5950-the holiday - makers} pour [themselves]_5943-they out of [trains and omnibuses]_{5951-trains and omnibuses} into [[their]_5943-they old pleasure - grounds]_{5952-their old pleasure - grounds} . It is true that [they]_5943-they go , for the most part , unthanked by name , although upon this occasion [William]_176-rodney was ready to give such discriminating praise as [the dead architects]_{5953-the dead architects} and [painters]_{2972-painters} received seldom in the course of the year . [They]_5943-they were walking by [the river bank]_{5955-the river bank} , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph , lagging a little behind , caught fragments of [his]_176-rodney lecture . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} smiled at the sound of [his]_176-rodney voice ; [she]_{129-katharine} listened as if [she]_{129-katharine} found it a little unfamiliar , intimately though [she]_{129-katharine} knew it ; [she]_{129-katharine} tested it . The note of assurance and happiness was new . [William]_176-rodney was very happy . [She]_{129-katharine} learnt every hour what sources of [his]_176-rodney happiness [she]_{129-katharine} had neglected . [She]_{129-katharine} had never asked [him]_176-rodney to teach [her]_{129-katharine} anything ; [she]_{129-katharine} had never consented to read [Macaulay]_361-macaulay ; [she]_{129-katharine} had never expressed [her]_{129-katharine} belief that [his]_176-rodney play was second only to the works of [Shakespeare]_170-william . [She]_{129-katharine} followed dreamily in [their]_5956-their wake , smiling and delighting in the sound which conveyed , [she]_{129-katharine} knew , the rapturous and yet not servile assent of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . Then [she]_{129-katharine} murmured , “_[355-god] How can [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — ” but changed [her]_{129-katharine} sentence to the opposite of what [she]_{129-katharine} meant to say and ended , “_[355-god] how could [she]_{303-cassandra} [herself]_{303-cassandra} have been so blind ? ” But it was unnecessary to follow out such riddles when the presence of [Ralph]_154-ralph supplied [her]_{129-katharine} with more interesting problems , which somehow became involved with [the little boat crossing [the river]_{945-the river}]_{5957-the little boat crossing the river} , [the majestic and careworn City]_{5959-the majestic and careworn city} , and [the steamers]_{5960-the steamers} homecoming with [their]_{5960-the steamers} treasury , or starting in search of it , so that infinite leisure would be necessary for the proper disentanglement of one from the other . [He]_176-rodney stopped , moreover , and began inquiring of [an old boatman]_{5961-an old boatman} as to the tides and [the ships]_{5962-the ships} . In thus talking [he]_176-rodney seemed different , and even looked different , [she]_{129-katharine} thought , against [the river]_{945-the river} , with the steeples and towers for background . [His]_176-rodney strangeness , [his]_176-rodney romance , [his]_176-rodney power to leave [her]_{129-katharine} side and take part in the affairs of [men]_719-men , the possibility that [they]_5965-they should together hire [a boat]_{5966-a boat} and cross [the river]_{945-the river} , the speed and wildness of this enterprise filled [her]_{129-katharine} mind and inspired [her]_{129-katharine} with such rapture , half of love and half of adventure , that [William]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} were startled from [their]_5965-they talk , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , “_[2724-she] [She]_2724-she looks as if [she]_2724-she were offering up a sacrifice ! Very beautiful , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} added quickly , though [she]_{303-cassandra} repressed , in deference to [William]_176-rodney , [her]_{303-cassandra} own wonder that the sight of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph talking to [a boatman on [the banks of [the Thames]_{88-the thames}]_{5969-the banks of the thames}]_{5968-a boatman on the banks of the thames} could move [any one]_{2939-any one} to such an attitude of adoration . That afternoon , what with tea and the curiosities of [the Thames tunnel]_{5971-the thames tunnel} and the unfamiliarity of [the streets]_{388-the streets} , passed so quickly that the only method of prolonging it was to plan another expedition for the following day . [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} was decided upon , in preference to [Hampstead]_{114-hampstead} , for though [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had dreamt as [a child of [the brigands of [Hampstead]_{114-hampstead}]_{5974-the brigands of hampstead}]_{5973-a child of the brigands of hampstead} , [she]_{303-cassandra} had now transferred [her]_{303-cassandra} affections completely and for ever to [William III]_{365-william iii} . Accordingly , [they]_5975-they arrived at [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} about lunch - time on a fine Sunday morning . Such unity marked [their]_5975-they expressions of admiration for [the red - brick building]_{5976-the red - brick building} that [they]_5975-they might have come [there]_2927-there for no other purpose than to assure each other that [this palace]_{5978-this palace} was [the stateliest palace in [the world]_{478-the world}]_{5979-the stateliest palace in the world} . [They]_5975-they walked up and down [the Terrace]_{5981-the terrace} , four abreast , and fancied [themselves]_5975-they [the owners of [the place]_{4672-the place}]_{5982-the owners of the place} , and calculated the amount of good to [the world]_{478-the world} produced indubitably by such a tenancy . “_[2724-she] The only hope for [us]_2725-us , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , “_[2724-she] is that [William]_176-rodney shall die , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} shall be given [rooms]_3471-rooms as [the widow of [a distinguished poet]_{2728-a distinguished poet}]_{2727-the widow of a distinguished poet} . ” “_[2724-she] Or — ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} began , but checked [herself]_{303-cassandra} from the liberty of envisaging [Katharine]_{129-katharine} as [the widow of [a distinguished lawyer]_{5986-a distinguished lawyer}]_{5985-the widow of a distinguished lawyer} . Upon this , the third day of junketing , it was tiresome to have to restrain [oneself]_5987-oneself even from such innocent excursions of fancy . [She]_{303-cassandra} dared not question [William]_176-rodney ; [he]_176-rodney was inscrutable ; [he]_176-rodney never seemed even to follow [the other couple]_{5369-the other couple} with curiosity when [they]_{5369-the other couple} separated , as [they]_{5369-the other couple} frequently did , to name a plant , or examine a fresco . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was constantly studying [their]_2730-they backs . [She]_{303-cassandra} noticed how sometimes the impulse to move came from [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and sometimes from [Ralph]_154-ralph ; how , sometimes , [they]_2730-they walked slow , as if in profound intercourse , and sometimes fast , as if in passionate . When [they]_2730-they came together again nothing could be more unconcerned than [their]_2730-they manner . “_[2724-she] [We]_2729-we have been wondering whether [they]_2730-they ever catch a fish ... ” or , “_[2729-we] [We]_2729-we must leave time to visit [the Maze]_{115-the maze} . ” Then , to puzzle [her]_{303-cassandra} further , [William]_176-rodney and [Ralph]_154-ralph filled in all interstices of meal - times or railway journeys with perfectly good - tempered arguments ; or [they]_2730-they discussed politics , or [they]_2730-they told stories , or [they]_2730-they did sums together upon the backs of old envelopes to prove something . [She]_{303-cassandra} suspected that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was absent - minded , but it was impossible to tell . There were moments when [she]_{303-cassandra} felt so young and inexperienced that [she]_{303-cassandra} almost wished [herself]_{303-cassandra} back with the silkworms at [Stogdon House]_{67-stogdon house} , and not embarked upon this bewildering intrigue . These moments , however , were only the necessary shadow or chill which proved the substance of [her]_{303-cassandra} bliss , and did not damage the radiance which seemed to rest equally upon [the whole party]_{893-the whole party} . The fresh air of spring , the sky washed of clouds and already shedding warmth from its blue , seemed the reply vouchsafed by nature to the mood of [[her]_{303-cassandra} chosen spirits]_{5990-her chosen spirits} . [These chosen spirits]_{5991-these chosen spirits} were to be found also among the deer , dumbly basking , and among the fish , set still in mid - stream , for [they]_{5991-these chosen spirits} were [mute sharers]_{5992-mute sharers} in a benignant state not needing any exposition by the tongue . No words that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} could come by expressed the stillness , the brightness , the air of expectancy which lay upon the orderly beauty of the grass walks and gravel paths down which [they]_2730-they went walking four abreast that Sunday afternoon . Silently the shadows of the trees lay across the broad sunshine ; silence wrapt [her]_{303-cassandra} heart in its folds . The quivering stillness of the butterfly on the half - opened flower , the silent grazing of the deer in the sun , were the sights [her]_{303-cassandra} eye rested upon and received as the images of [her]_{303-cassandra} own nature laid open to happiness and trembling in its ecstasy . But the afternoon wore on , and it became time to leave [the gardens]_{5053-the gardens} . As [they]_2730-they drove from [Waterloo]_116-waterloo to [Chelsea]_10-chelsea , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} began to have some compunction about [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , which , together with the opening of [offices]_5995-offices and the need of working in [them]_5995-offices on Monday , made it difficult to plan another festival for the following day . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had taken [their]_2730-they absence , so far , with paternal benevolence , but [they]_2730-they could not trespass upon it indefinitely . Indeed , had [they]_2730-they known it , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was already suffering from [their]_2730-they absence , and longing for [their]_2730-they return . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} had no dislike of solitude , and Sunday , in particular , was pleasantly adapted for letter - writing , paying calls , or a visit to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} club]_{5996-his club} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was leaving [the house]_{377-the house} on some such suitable expedition towards tea - time when [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} found [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} stopped on [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own doorstep]_{5998-his own doorstep} by [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} sister]_{578-his sister} , [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} should , on hearing that [no one]_{2921-no one} was at [home]_2992-home , have withdrawn submissively , but instead [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} accepted [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} half - hearted invitation to come in , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} found [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} in the melancholy position of being forced to order tea for [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} and sit in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} while [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} drank it . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} speedily made it plain that [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} was only thus exacting because [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} had come on a matter of business . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was by no means exhilarated at the news . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} is out this afternoon , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} remarked . “_{[129-katharine]} Why not come round later and discuss it with [her]_{129-katharine} — with [us]_2731-us both , eh ? ” “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , [I]_0-i have particular reasons for wishing to talk to [you]_{210-uncle trevor} alone .... Where is [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} ’s out with [[her]_{129-katharine} young man]_{2733-her young man} , naturally . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} plays the part of chaperone very usefully . [A charming young woman]_{2734-a charming young woman} that — a great favorite of [mine]_0-i . ” [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} turned [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} stone between [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} fingers , and conceived different methods of leading [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} away from [her]_{219-aunt celia} obsession , which , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} supposed , must have reference to the domestic affairs of [Cyril]_236-cyril as usual . “_{[2734-a charming young woman]} With [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} repeated significantly . “_{[2734-a charming young woman]} With [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Yes , with [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} agreed urbanely , pleased at the diversion . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i think [they]_2735-they said [they]_2735-they were going to [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} , and [I]_0-i rather believe [they]_2735-they were taking [a protege of [mine]_0-i]_{2736-a protege of mine} , [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , [a very clever fellow]_{2737-a very clever fellow} , too , to amuse [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [I]_0-i thought the arrangement very suitable . ” [He]_154-ralph was prepared to dwell at some length upon this safe topic , and trusted that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} would come in before [he]_154-ralph had done with it . “_[0-i] [Hampton Court]_{93-hampton court} always seems to [me]_0-i [an ideal spot for [engaged couples]_{2739-engaged couples}]_{2738-an ideal spot for engaged couples} . There ’s [the Maze]_{115-the maze} , there ’s [a nice place for having tea]_{2740-a nice place for having tea} — [I]_0-i forget what [they]_2735-they call it — and then , if [the young man]_{457-the young man} knows [his]_{457-the young man} business [he]_{457-the young man} contrives to take [[his]_{457-the young man} lady]_{2742-his lady} upon [the river]_{945-the river} . Full of possibilities — full . Cake , [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ? ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} continued . “_{[219-aunt celia]} [I]_0-i respect [my]_0-i dinner too much , but that ca n’t possibly apply to [you]_{219-aunt celia} . [You]_{219-aunt celia} ’ve never observed that feast , so far as [I]_0-i can remember . ” [[Her]_{219-aunt celia} brother]_{581-her brother} ’s affability did not deceive [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} ; it slightly saddened [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} ; [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} well knew the cause of it . Blind and infatuated as usual ! “_{[219-aunt celia]} Who is [this Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} asked . “_[131-denham] [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , in relief that [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} mind had taken this turn . “_{[2744-a very interesting young man]} [A very interesting young man]_{2744-a very interesting young man} . [I]_0-i ’ve a great belief in [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph ’s an authority upon [[our]_2745-our mediaeval institutions]_{2746-our mediaeval institutions} , and if [he]_154-ralph were n’t forced to earn [his]_154-ralph living [he]_154-ralph would write a book that very much wants writing — ” “_[154-ralph] [He]_154-ralph is not well off , then ? ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} interposed . “_[154-ralph] Has n’t a penny , [I]_0-i ’m afraid , and [a family]_{569-a family} more or less dependent on [him]_154-ralph . ” “_{[4202-a mother]} [A mother]_{4202-a mother} and [sisters?—His father]_{2749-sisters?—his father} is dead ? ” “_{[2749-sisters?—his father]} Yes , [[his]_154-ralph father]_{1462-his father} died some years ago , ” said [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , who was prepared to draw upon [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} imagination , if necessary , to keep [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} supplied with facts about the private history of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph since , for some inscrutable reason , the subject took [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} fancy . “_[154-ralph] [[His]_154-ralph father]_{1462-his father} has been dead some time , and [this young man]_{433-this young man} had to take [his]_154-ralph place — ” “_{[433-this young man]} [A legal family]_{2753-a legal family} ? ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} inquired . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i fancy [I]_0-i ’ve seen the name somewhere . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} shook [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} head . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should be inclined to doubt whether [they]_2754-they were altogether in that walk of life , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} observed . “_[2754-they] [I]_0-i fancy that [Denham]_154-ralph once told [me]_0-i that [[his]_154-ralph father]_{1462-his father} was [a corn merchant]_{2756-a corn merchant} . Perhaps [he]_154-ralph said [a stockbroker]_{2757-a stockbroker} . [He]_154-ralph came to grief , anyhow , as [stockbrokers]_{2758-stockbrokers} have a way of doing . [I]_0-i ’ve a great respect for [Denham]_154-ralph , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} added . The remark sounded to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} ears unfortunately conclusive , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was afraid that there was nothing more to be said about [Denham]_154-ralph . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} examined the tips of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} fingers carefully . “_[0-i] [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s grown into [a very charming young woman]_{2759-a very charming young woman} , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} started afresh . “_{[2759-a very charming young woman]} Charming to look at , and charming to talk to , though [her]_{303-cassandra} historical knowledge is not altogether profound . Another cup of tea ? ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} had given [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} cup a little push , which seemed to indicate some momentary displeasure . But [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} did not want any more tea . “_{[303-cassandra]} It is [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} that [I]_0-i have come about , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} began . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i am very sorry to say that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} is not at all what [you]_2760-you think [her]_{303-cassandra} , [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} . [She]_{303-cassandra} has imposed upon [your]_2760-you and [Maggie]_233-maggie ’s goodness . [She]_{303-cassandra} has behaved in a way that would have seemed incredible — in [this house of [all houses]_{2762-all houses}]_{2761-this house of all houses} — were it not for other circumstances that are still more incredible . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} looked taken aback , and was silent for a second . “_{[303-cassandra]} It all sounds very black , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} remarked urbanely , continuing [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} examination of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} finger - nails . “_{[303-cassandra]} But [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i am completely in the dark . ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} became rigid , and emitted [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} message in little short sentences of extreme intensity . “_[0-i] Who has [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} gone out with ? [William Rodney]_176-rodney . Who has [Katharine]_{129-katharine} gone out with ? [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . Why are [they]_2763-they for ever meeting [each other]_{451-each other} round street corners , and going to [music - halls]_{2765-music - halls} , and taking cabs late at night ? Why will [Katharine]_{129-katharine} not tell [me]_0-i the truth when [I]_0-i question [her]_{129-katharine} ? [I]_0-i understand the reason now . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} has entangled [herself]_{129-katharine} with [this unknown lawyer]_{2766-this unknown lawyer} ; [she]_{129-katharine} has seen fit to condone [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s conduct . ” There was another slight pause . “_{[129-katharine]} Ah , well , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} will no doubt have some explanation to give [me]_0-i , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} replied imperturbably . “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s a little too complicated for [me]_0-i to take in all at once , [I]_0-i confess — and , if [you]_2767-you wo n’t think [me]_0-i rude , [Celia]_{219-aunt celia} , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i ’ll be getting along towards [Knightsbridge]_{9-knightsbridge} . ” [Mrs. Milvain]_{218-mrs. milvain} rose at once . “_{[129-katharine]} [She]_{129-katharine} has condoned [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s conduct and entangled [herself]_{129-katharine} with [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , ” [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} repeated . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} stood very erect with the dauntless air of one testifying to the truth regardless of consequences . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} knew from past discussions that the only way to counter [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} brother]_{581-her brother} ’s indolence and indifference was to shoot [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} statements at [him]_{581-her brother} in a compressed form once finally upon leaving [the room]_{379-the room} . Having spoken thus , [she]_{218-mrs. milvain} restrained [herself]_{218-mrs. milvain} from adding another word , and left [the house]_{377-the house} with the dignity of one inspired by a great ideal . [She]_{218-mrs. milvain} had certainly framed [her]_{218-mrs. milvain} remarks in such a way as to prevent [[her]_{218-mrs. milvain} brother]_{581-her brother} from paying [his]_{581-her brother} call in [the region of [Knightsbridge]_{9-knightsbridge}]_{6008-the region of knightsbridge} . [He]_{581-her brother} had no fears for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , but there was a suspicion at the back of [his]_{581-her brother} mind that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} might have been , innocently and ignorantly , led into some foolish situation in one of [their]_6009-their unshepherded dissipations . [[His]_{581-her brother} wife]_{2946-his wife} was an erratic judge of the conventions ; [he]_{581-her brother} [himself]_{581-her brother} was lazy ; and with [Katharine]_{129-katharine} absorbed , very naturally — Here [he]_{581-her brother} recalled , as well as [he]_{581-her brother} could , the exact nature of the charge . “_[2768-she] [She]_2768-she has condoned [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s conduct and entangled [herself]_2768-she with [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . ” From which it appeared that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was not absorbed , or which of [them]_6009-their was it that had entangled [herself]_{129-katharine} with [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? From this maze of absurdity [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} saw no way out until [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} came to [his]_{581-her brother} help , so that [he]_{581-her brother} applied [himself]_{581-her brother} , very philosophically on the whole , to a book . No sooner had [he]_{581-her brother} heard [the young people]_{6011-the young people} come in and go [upstairs]_523-upstairs than [he]_{581-her brother} sent [a maid]_{6013-a maid} to tell [Miss Katharine]_{129-katharine} that [he]_{581-her brother} wished to speak to [her]_{129-katharine} in [the study]_{3461-the study} . [She]_{129-katharine} was slipping furs loosely onto the floor in [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} in front of the fire . [They]_{6011-the young people} were all gathered round , reluctant to part . The message from [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} surprised [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and [the others]_{1091-the others} caught from [her]_{129-katharine} look , as [she]_{129-katharine} turned to go , a vague sense of apprehension . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} was reassured by the sight of [her]_{129-katharine} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} congratulated [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} prided [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} , upon possessing [a daughter who had a sense of responsibility and an understanding of life]_{6018-a daughter who had a sense of responsibility and an understanding of life} profound beyond [her]_{129-katharine} years . Moreover , [she]_{129-katharine} was looking to - day unusual ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had come to take [her]_{129-katharine} beauty for granted ; now [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} remembered it and was surprised by it . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought instinctively that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had interrupted some happy hour of [hers]_{129-katharine} with [Rodney]_176-rodney , and apologized . “_[2768-she] [I]_0-i ’m sorry to bother [you]_2769-you , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} . [I]_0-i heard [you]_2769-you come in , and thought [I]_0-i ’d better make [myself]_0-i disagreeable at once — as it seems , unfortunately , that [fathers]_2771-fathers are expected to make [themselves]_2771-fathers disagreeable . Now , [[your]_2769-you Aunt [Celia]_{219-aunt celia}]_{2661-your aunt celia} has been to see [me]_0-i ; [[your]_2769-you Aunt [Celia]_{219-aunt celia}]_{2661-your aunt celia} has taken it into [her]_{219-aunt celia} head apparently that [you]_2769-you and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} have been — let [us]_2774-us say a little foolish . This going about together — these pleasant little parties — there ’s been some kind of misunderstanding . [I]_0-i told [her]_{219-aunt celia} [I]_0-i saw no harm in it , but [I]_0-i should just like to hear from [yourself]_2769-you . Has [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} been left a little too much in the company of [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} did not reply at once , and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} tapped the coal encouragingly with the poker . Then [she]_0-i said , without embarrassment or apology : “_[131-denham] [I]_0-i do n’t see why [I]_0-i should answer [Aunt Celia]_{219-aunt celia} ’s questions . [I]_0-i ’ve told [her]_{219-aunt celia} already that [I]_0-i wo n’t . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} was relieved and secretly amused at the thought of the interview , although [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not license such irreverence outwardly . “_[0-i] Very good . Then [you]_2769-you authorize [me]_0-i to tell [her]_{219-aunt celia} that [she]_{219-aunt celia} ’s been mistaken , and there was nothing but a little fun in it ? [You]_2769-you ’ve no doubt , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , in [your]_{129-katharine} own mind ? [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} is in [our]_2775-our charge , and [I]_0-i do n’t intend that [people]_383-people should gossip about [her]_{303-cassandra} . [I]_0-i suggest that [you]_{129-katharine} should be a little more careful in future . Invite [me]_0-i to [your]_{129-katharine} next entertainment . ” [She]_{129-katharine} did not respond , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had hoped , with any affectionate or humorous reply . [She]_{129-katharine} meditated , pondering something or other , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} reflected that even [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} [Katharine]_{129-katharine}]_{6019-his katharine} did not differ from [other women in the capacity to let things be]_{6020-other women in the capacity to let things be} . Or had [she]_{129-katharine} something to say ? “_[0-i] Have [you]_{129-katharine} a guilty conscience ? ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} inquired lightly . “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said more seriously , struck by something in the expression of [her]_{129-katharine} eyes . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ve been meaning to tell [you]_0-i for some time , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not going to marry [William]_176-rodney . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} ’re not going — ! ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} exclaimed , dropping the poker in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} immense surprise . “_{[129-katharine]} Why ? When ? Explain [yourself]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} Oh , some time ago — a week , perhaps more . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} spoke hurriedly and indifferently , as if the matter could no longer concern [any one]_{2939-any one} . “_{[129-katharine]} But may [I]_0-i ask — why have [I]_0-i not been told of this — what do [you]_{129-katharine} mean by it ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} [We]_2777-we do n’t wish to be married — that ’s all . ” “_{[129-katharine]} This is [William]_176-rodney ’s wish as well as [yours]_{129-katharine} ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} Oh , yes . [We]_2777-we agree perfectly . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had seldom felt more completely at a loss . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was treating the matter with curious unconcern ; [she]_{129-katharine} scarcely seemed aware of the gravity of what [she]_{129-katharine} was saying ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} did not understand the position at all . But [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} desire to smooth everything over comfortably came to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} relief . No doubt there was some quarrel , some whimsey on the part of [William]_176-rodney , who , though [a good fellow]_{3074-a good fellow} , was a little exacting sometimes — something that [a woman]_{3107-a woman} could put right . But though [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} inclined to take the easiest view of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} responsibilities , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} cared too much for [this daughter]_{6024-this daughter} to let things be . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i confess [I]_0-i find great difficulty in following [you]_{129-katharine} . [I]_0-i should like to hear [William]_176-rodney ’s side of the story , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said irritably . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i think [he]_176-rodney ought to have spoken to [me]_0-i in the first instance . ” “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i would n’t let [him]_176-rodney , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i know it must seem to [you]_{129-katharine} very strange , ” [she]_0-i added . “_[0-i] But [I]_0-i assure [you]_{129-katharine} , if [you]_{129-katharine} ’d wait a little — until [mother]_2916-mother comes back . ” This appeal for delay was much to [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s liking . But [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} conscience would not suffer it . [People]_383-people were talking . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not endure that [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} ’s conduct should be in any way considered irregular . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} wondered whether , in the circumstances , it would be better to wire to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} wife]_{2946-his wife} , to send for [one of [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} sisters]_{6029-his sisters}]_{6028-one of his sisters} , to forbid [William]_176-rodney [the house]_{377-the house} , to pack [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} off [home]_2992-home — for [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was vaguely conscious of responsibilities in [her]_{303-cassandra} direction , too . [His]_{134-mr. hilbery} forehead was becoming more and more wrinkled by the multiplicity of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} anxieties , which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was sorely tempted to ask [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to solve for [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} , when the door opened and [William Rodney]_176-rodney appeared . This necessitated a complete change , not only of manner , but of position also . “_{[2916-mother]} Here ’s [William]_176-rodney , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} exclaimed , in a tone of relief . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i ’ve told [father]_3311-father [we]_2780-we ’re not engaged , ” [she]_0-i said to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve explained that [I]_0-i prevented [you]_3311-father from telling [him]_3311-father . ” [William]_176-rodney ’s manner was marked by the utmost formality . [He]_176-rodney bowed very slightly in the direction of [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , and stood erect , holding one lapel of [his]_176-rodney coat , and gazing into the center of the fire . [He]_176-rodney waited for [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} to speak . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} also assumed an appearance of formidable dignity . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} had risen to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} feet , and now bent the top part of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} body slightly forward . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i should like [your]_3311-father account of this affair , [Rodney]_176-rodney — if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} no longer prevents [you]_3311-father from speaking . ” [William]_176-rodney waited two seconds at least . “_{[129-katharine]} [Our]_2781-our engagement is at an end , ” [he]_176-rodney said , with the utmost stiffness . “_{[129-katharine]} Has this been arrived at by [your]_3311-father joint desire ? ” After a perceptible pause [William]_176-rodney bent [his]_176-rodney head , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said , as if by an afterthought : “_{[3311-father]} Oh , yes . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} swayed to and fro , and moved [his]_176-rodney lips as if to utter remarks which remained unspoken . “_{[3311-father]} [I]_0-i can only suggest that [you]_3311-father should postpone any decision until the effect of this misunderstanding has had time to wear off . [You]_3311-father have now known [each other]_{451-each other} — ” [he]_176-rodney began . “_{[3311-father]} There ’s been no misunderstanding , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} interposed . “_{[3311-father]} Nothing at all . ” [She]_{129-katharine} moved a few paces across [the room]_{379-the room} , as if [she]_{129-katharine} intended to leave [them]_{379-the room} . [Her]_{129-katharine} preoccupied naturalness was in strange contrast to [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} ’s pomposity and to [William]_176-rodney ’s military rigidity . [He]_176-rodney had not once raised [his]_176-rodney eyes . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s glance , on the other hand , ranged past [the two gentlemen]_{6034-the two gentlemen} , along the books , over the tables , towards the door . [She]_{129-katharine} was paying the least possible attention , it seemed , to what was happening . [[Her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} looked at [her]_{129-katharine} with a sudden clouding and troubling of [his]_{406-her father} expression . Somehow [his]_{406-her father} faith in [her]_{129-katharine} stability and sense was queerly shaken . [He]_{406-her father} no longer felt that [he]_{406-her father} could ultimately entrust [her]_{129-katharine} with the whole conduct of [her]_{129-katharine} own affairs after a superficial show of directing [them]_6036-them . [He]_{406-her father} felt , for the first time in many years , responsible for [her]_{129-katharine} . “_{[3311-father]} Look here , [we]_2783-we must get to the bottom of this , ” [he]_{406-her father} said , dropping [his]_{406-her father} formal manner and addressing [Rodney]_176-rodney as if [Katharine]_{129-katharine} were not present . “_[2784-you] [You]_2784-you ’ve had some difference of opinion , eh ? Take [my]_0-i word for it , [most people]_{3005-most people} go through this sort of thing when [they]_{3005-most people} ’re engaged . [I]_0-i ’ve seen more trouble come from long engagements than from any other form of human folly . Take [my]_0-i advice and put the whole matter out of [your]_2784-you minds — both of [you]_2784-you . [I]_0-i prescribe a complete abstinence from emotion . Visit [some cheerful seaside resort]_{2786-some cheerful seaside resort} , [Rodney]_176-rodney . ” [He]_{406-her father} was struck by [William]_176-rodney ’s appearance , which seemed to [him]_{406-her father} to indicate profound feeling resolutely held in check . No doubt , [he]_{406-her father} reflected , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had been very trying , unconsciously trying , and had driven [him]_{406-her father} to take up a position which was none of [his]_{406-her father} willing . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} certainly did not overrate [William]_176-rodney ’s sufferings . No minutes in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} life had hitherto extorted from [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} such intensity of anguish . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was now facing the consequences of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} insanity . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} must confess [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} entirely and fundamentally other than [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . Everything was against [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . Even the Sunday evening and the fire and the tranquil library scene were against [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s appeal to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} as [a man of [the world]_{478-the world}]_{4092-a man of the world} was terribly against [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was no longer [a man of any world that [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} cared to recognize]_{6039-a man of any world that mr. hilbery cared to recognize} . But some power compelled [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} , as it had compelled [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} to come [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , to make [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} stand here and now , alone and unhelped by [any one]_{2939-any one} , without prospect of reward . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} fumbled with various phrases ; and then jerked out : “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i love [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} ’s face turned a curious dull purple . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} looked at [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} nodded [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} head , as if to convey [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} silent command to [her]_{1065-his daughter} to leave [the room]_{379-the room} ; but either [she]_{1065-his daughter} did not notice it or preferred not to obey . “_[176-rodney] [You]_{303-cassandra} have the impudence — ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} began , in a dull , low voice that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} had never heard before , when there was a scuffling and exclaiming in [the hall]_{3431-the hall} , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , who appeared to be insisting against some dissuasion on the part of [another]_3114-another , burst into [the room]_{379-the room} . “_{[303-cassandra]} [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed , “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i insist upon telling [you]_{210-uncle trevor} the truth ! ” [She]_{303-cassandra} flung [herself]_{303-cassandra} between [Rodney]_176-rodney and [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} , as if [she]_{303-cassandra} sought to intercept [their]_6048-their blows . As [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} stood perfectly still , looking very large and imposing , and as [nobody]_2970-nobody spoke , [she]_{303-cassandra} shrank back a little , and looked first at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and then at [Rodney]_176-rodney . “_[0-i] [You]_{210-uncle trevor} must know the truth , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said , a little lamely . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [You]_{210-uncle trevor} have the impudence to tell [me]_0-i this in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s presence ? ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} continued , speaking with complete disregard of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s interruption . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [I]_0-i am aware , quite aware — ” [Rodney]_176-rodney ’s words , which were broken in sense , spoken after a pause , and with [his]_176-rodney eyes upon the ground , nevertheless expressed an astonishing amount of resolution . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i am quite aware what [you]_{210-uncle trevor} must think of [me]_0-i , ” [he]_176-rodney brought out , looking [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} directly in the eyes for the first time . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [I]_0-i could express [my]_0-i views on the subject more fully if [we]_2787-we were alone , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} returned . “_[0-i] But [you]_{210-uncle trevor} forget [me]_0-i , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} moved a little towards [Rodney]_176-rodney , and [her]_{129-katharine} movement seemed to testify mutely to [her]_{129-katharine} respect for [him]_176-rodney , and [her]_{129-katharine} alliance with [him]_176-rodney . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [I]_0-i think [William]_176-rodney has behaved perfectly rightly , and , after all , it is [I]_0-i who am concerned — [I]_0-i and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , too , gave an indescribably slight movement which seemed to draw [the three of [them]_{911-the three of them}]_{911-the three of them} into alliance together . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s tone and glance made [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} once more feel completely at a loss , and in addition , painfully and angrily obsolete ; but in spite of an awful inner hollowness [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was outwardly composed . “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} and [Rodney]_176-rodney have a perfect right to settle [their]_2788-their own affairs according to [their]_2788-their own wishes ; but [I]_0-i see no reason why [they]_2788-their should do so either in [[my]_0-i room]_{3618-my room} or in [[my]_0-i house]_{2495-my house} .... [I]_0-i wish to be quite clear on this point , however ; [you]_2791-you are no longer engaged to [Rodney]_176-rodney . ” [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} paused , and [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} pause seemed to signify that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was extremely thankful for [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} ’s deliverance . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} turned to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who drew [her]_{129-katharine} breath as if to speak and checked [herself]_{129-katharine} ; [Rodney]_176-rodney , too , seemed to await some movement on [her]_{129-katharine} part ; [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} glanced at [her]_{129-katharine} as if [he]_{406-her father} half anticipated some further revelation . [She]_{129-katharine} remained perfectly silent . In the silence [they]_6054-they heard distinctly steps descending the staircase , and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} went straight to the door . “_[0-i] Wait , ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} commanded . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish to speak to [you]_2792-you — alone , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} added . [She]_0-i paused , holding the door ajar . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll come back , ” [she]_0-i said , and as [she]_0-i spoke [she]_0-i opened the door and went out . [They]_6054-they could hear [her]_0-i immediately speak to [some one outside]_{6055-some one outside} , though the words were inaudible . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} was left confronting [the guilty couple]_{6056-the guilty couple} , who remained standing as if [they]_{6056-the guilty couple} did not accept [their]_{6056-the guilty couple} dismissal , and the disappearance of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had brought some change into the situation . So , in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} secret heart , [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} felt that it had , for [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not explain [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} ’s behavior to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own satisfaction . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} exclaimed impulsively , “_{[210-uncle trevor]} do n’t be angry , please . [I]_0-i could n’t help it ; [I]_0-i do beg [you]_{210-uncle trevor} to forgive [me]_0-i . ” [[Her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} still refused to acknowledge [her]_{303-cassandra} identity , and still talked over [her]_{303-cassandra} head as if [she]_{303-cassandra} did not exist . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [I]_0-i suppose [you]_0-i have communicated with [the Otways]_{146-the otways} , ” [he]_{210-uncle trevor} said to [Rodney]_176-rodney grimly . “_[0-i] [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , [we]_2793-we wanted to tell [you]_{210-uncle trevor} , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} replied for [him]_{210-uncle trevor} . “_[2793-we] [We]_2793-we waited — ” [she]_{303-cassandra} looked appealingly at [Rodney]_176-rodney , who shook [his]_176-rodney head ever so slightly . “_[2793-we] Yes ? What were [you]_0-i waiting for ? ” [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} asked sharply , looking at [her]_{303-cassandra} at last . The words died on [her]_{303-cassandra} lips . It was apparent that [she]_{303-cassandra} was straining [her]_{303-cassandra} ears as if to catch some sound outside [the room]_{379-the room} that would come to [her]_{303-cassandra} help . [He]_{210-uncle trevor} received no answer . [He]_{210-uncle trevor} listened , too . “_[0-i] This is a most unpleasant business for [all parties]_{2794-all parties} , ” [he]_{210-uncle trevor} concluded , sinking into [his]_{210-uncle trevor} chair again , hunching [his]_{210-uncle trevor} shoulders and regarding the flames . [He]_{210-uncle trevor} seemed to speak to [himself]_{210-uncle trevor} , and [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} looked at [him]_{210-uncle trevor} in silence . “_[0-i] Why do n’t [you]_0-i sit down ? ” [he]_{210-uncle trevor} said suddenly . [He]_{210-uncle trevor} spoke gruffly , but the force of [his]_{210-uncle trevor} anger was evidently spent , or some preoccupation had turned [his]_{210-uncle trevor} mood to other regions . While [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} accepted [his]_{210-uncle trevor} invitation , [Rodney]_176-rodney remained standing . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} can explain matters better in [my]_0-i absence , ” [he]_{210-uncle trevor} said , and left [the room]_{379-the room} , [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} giving [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} assent by a slight nod of the head . Meanwhile , in [the dining - room next door]_{6062-the dining - room next door} , [Denham]_131-denham and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} were once more seated at the mahogany table . [They]_6063-they seemed to be continuing a conversation broken off in the middle , as if [each]_3310-each remembered the precise point at which [they]_6063-they had been interrupted , and was eager to go on as quickly as possible . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , having interposed a short account of the interview with [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} , [Denham]_131-denham made no comment , but said : “_{[303-cassandra]} Anyhow , there ’s no reason why [we]_2795-we should n’t see [each other]_{451-each other} . ” “_{[451-each other]} Or stay together . It ’s only marriage that ’s out of the question , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied . “_{[451-each other]} But if [I]_0-i find [myself]_0-i coming to want [you]_0-i more and more ? ” “_[0-i] If [our]_2795-we lapses come more and more often ? ” [He]_131-denham sighed impatiently , and said nothing for a moment . “_[0-i] But at least , ” [he]_131-denham renewed , “_[0-i] [we]_2795-we ’ve established the fact that [my]_0-i lapses are still in some odd way connected with [you]_2797-you ; yours have nothing to do with [me]_0-i . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_131-denham added , [his]_131-denham assumption of reason broken up by [his]_131-denham agitation , “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i assure [you]_2797-you that [we]_2795-we are in love — what [other people]_{2964-other people} call love . Remember that night . [We]_2795-we had no doubts whatever then . [We]_2795-we were absolutely happy for half an hour . [You]_2797-you had no lapse until the day after ; [I]_0-i had no lapse until yesterday morning . [We]_2795-we ’ve been happy at intervals all day until [I]_0-i — went off [my]_0-i head , and [you]_2797-you , quite naturally , were bored . ” “_[2797-you] Ah , ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , as if the subject chafed [her]_0-i , “_[2797-you] [I]_0-i ca n’t make [you]_2797-you understand . It ’s not boredom — [I’m]_0-i never bored . Reality — reality , ” [she]_0-i ejaculated , tapping [her]_0-i finger upon the table as if to emphasize and perhaps explain [her]_0-i isolated utterance of this word . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i cease to be real to [you]_2797-you . It ’s the faces in a storm again — the vision in a hurricane . [We]_2795-we come together for a moment and [we]_2795-we part . It ’s [my]_0-i fault , too . [I]_0-i ’m as bad as [you]_2797-you are — worse , perhaps . ” [They]_2795-we were trying to explain , not for the first time , as [their]_2795-we weary gestures and frequent interruptions showed , what in [their]_2795-we common language [they]_2795-we had christened [their]_2795-we “_[0-i] lapses ” ; a constant source of distress to [them]_2795-we , in the past few days , and the immediate reason why [Ralph]_154-ralph was on [his]_154-ralph way to leave [the house]_{377-the house} when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , listening anxiously , heard [him]_154-ralph and prevented [him]_154-ralph . What was the cause of these lapses ? Either because [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked more beautiful , or more strange , because [she]_{129-katharine} wore something different , or said something unexpected , [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s sense of [her]_{129-katharine} romance welled up and overcame [him]_154-ralph either into silence or into inarticulate expressions , which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with unintentional but invariable perversity , interrupted or contradicted with some severity or assertion of prosaic fact . Then the vision disappeared , and [Ralph]_154-ralph expressed vehemently in [his]_154-ralph turn the conviction that [he]_154-ralph only loved [her]_{129-katharine} shadow and cared nothing for [her]_{129-katharine} reality . If the lapse was on [her]_{129-katharine} side it took the form of gradual detachment until [she]_{129-katharine} became completely absorbed in [her]_{129-katharine} own thoughts , which carried [her]_{129-katharine} away with such intensity that [she]_{129-katharine} sharply resented any recall to [[her]_{129-katharine} companion]_{3292-her companion} ’s side . It was useless to assert that these trances were always originated by [Ralph]_154-ralph [himself]_154-ralph , however little in [their]_6068-their later stages they had to do with [him]_154-ralph . The fact remained that [she]_{129-katharine} had no need of [him]_154-ralph and was very loath to be reminded of [him]_154-ralph . How , then , could [they]_6069-they be in love ? The fragmentary nature of [their]_6069-they relationship was but too apparent . Thus [they]_6069-they sat depressed to silence at the dining - room table , oblivious of everything , while [Rodney]_176-rodney paced [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} overhead in such agitation and exaltation of mind as [he]_176-rodney had never conceived possible , and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} remained alone with [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} . [Ralph]_154-ralph , at length , rose and walked gloomily to the window . [He]_154-ralph pressed close to the pane . Outside were truth and freedom and the immensity only to be apprehended by the mind in loneliness , and never communicated to another . What worse sacrilege was there than to attempt to violate what [he]_154-ralph perceived by seeking to impart it ? Some movement behind [him]_154-ralph made [him]_154-ralph reflect that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had the power , if [she]_{129-katharine} chose , to be in person what [he]_154-ralph dreamed of [her]_{129-katharine} spirit . [He]_154-ralph turned sharply to implore [her]_{129-katharine} help , when again [he]_154-ralph was struck cold by [her]_{129-katharine} look of distance , [her]_{129-katharine} expression of intentness upon some far object . As if conscious of [his]_154-ralph look upon [her]_{129-katharine} [she]_{129-katharine} rose and came to [him]_154-ralph , standing close by [his]_154-ralph side , and looking with [him]_154-ralph out into the dusky atmosphere . [Their]_6072-their physical closeness was to [him]_154-ralph a bitter enough comment upon the distance between [their]_6072-their minds . Yet distant as [she]_{129-katharine} was , [her]_{129-katharine} presence by [his]_154-ralph side transformed [the world]_{478-the world} . [He]_154-ralph saw [himself]_154-ralph performing wonderful deeds of courage ; saving the drowning , rescuing [the forlorn]_{6074-the forlorn} . Impatient with this form of egotism , [he]_154-ralph could not shake off the conviction that somehow life was wonderful , romantic , [a master]_{6075-a master} worth serving so long as [she]_{129-katharine} stood there . [He]_154-ralph had no wish that [she]_{129-katharine} should speak ; [he]_154-ralph did not look at [her]_{129-katharine} or touch [her]_{129-katharine} ; [she]_{129-katharine} was apparently deep in [her]_{129-katharine} own thoughts and oblivious of [his]_154-ralph presence . The door opened without [their]_6072-their hearing the sound . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} looked round [the room]_{379-the room} , and for a moment failed to discover [the two figures in the window]_{6077-the two figures in the window} . [He]_154-ralph started with displeasure when [he]_154-ralph saw [them]_{6077-the two figures in the window} , and observed [them]_{6077-the two figures in the window} keenly before [he]_154-ralph appeared able to make up [his]_154-ralph mind to say anything . [He]_154-ralph made a movement finally that warned [them]_{6077-the two figures in the window} of [his]_154-ralph presence ; [they]_{6077-the two figures in the window} turned instantly . Without speaking , [he]_154-ralph beckoned to [Katharine]_{129-katharine} to come to [him]_154-ralph , and , keeping [his]_154-ralph eyes from the region of [the room where [Denham]_154-ralph stood]_{6078-the room where denham stood} , [he]_154-ralph shepherded [her]_{129-katharine} in front of [him]_154-ralph back to [the study]_{3461-the study} . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was inside [the room]_{379-the room} [he]_154-ralph shut the study door carefully behind [him]_154-ralph as if to secure [himself]_154-ralph from something that [he]_154-ralph disliked . “_[0-i] Now , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph said , taking up [his]_154-ralph stand in front of the fire , “_{[129-katharine]} [you]_{129-katharine} will , perhaps , have the kindness to explain — ” [She]_{129-katharine} remained silent . “_{[129-katharine]} What inferences do [you]_{129-katharine} expect [me]_0-i to draw ? ” [he]_154-ralph said sharply .... “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} tell [me]_0-i that [you]_{129-katharine} are not engaged to [Rodney]_176-rodney ; [I]_0-i see [you]_{129-katharine} on what appear to be extremely intimate terms with [another]_3114-another — with [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph . What am [I]_0-i to conclude ? Are [you]_{129-katharine} , ” [he]_154-ralph added , as [she]_{129-katharine} still said nothing , “_[154-ralph] engaged to [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ? ” “_[154-ralph] No , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . [His]_154-ralph sense of relief was great ; [he]_154-ralph had been certain that [her]_{129-katharine} answer would have confirmed [his]_154-ralph suspicions , but that anxiety being set at rest , [he]_154-ralph was the more conscious of annoyance with [her]_{129-katharine} for [her]_{129-katharine} behavior . “_[154-ralph] Then all [I]_0-i can say is that [you]_{129-katharine} ’ve very strange ideas of the proper way to behave .... [People]_383-people have drawn certain conclusions , nor am [I]_0-i surprised .... The more [I]_0-i think of it the more inexplicable [I]_0-i find it , ” [he]_154-ralph went on , [his]_154-ralph anger rising as [he]_154-ralph spoke . “_[0-i] Why am [I]_0-i left in ignorance of what is going on in [[my]_0-i own house]_{3080-my own house} ? Why am [I]_0-i left to hear of these events for the first time from [[my]_0-i sister]_{2802-my sister} ? Most disagreeable — most upsetting . How [I]_0-i ’m to explain to [[your]_{129-katharine} Uncle]_{1436-your uncle} [Francis]_{327-uncle francis} — but [I]_0-i wash [my]_0-i hands of it . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} goes tomorrow . [I]_0-i forbid Rodney [the house]_{377-the house} . As for [the other young man]_{2805-the other young man} , the sooner [he]_{2805-the other young man} makes [himself]_{2805-the other young man} scarce the better . After placing the most implicit trust in [you]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — ” [He]_{327-uncle francis} broke off , disquieted by the ominous silence with which [his]_{327-uncle francis} words were received , and looked at [[his]_{327-uncle francis} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} with the curious doubt as to [her]_{1065-his daughter} state of mind which [he]_{327-uncle francis} had felt before , for the first time , this evening . [He]_{327-uncle francis} perceived once more that [she]_{1065-his daughter} was not attending to what [he]_{327-uncle francis} said , but was listening , and for a moment [he]_{327-uncle francis} , too , listened for sounds outside [the room]_{379-the room} . [His]_{327-uncle francis} certainty that there was some understanding between [Denham]_154-ralph and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} returned , but with a most unpleasant suspicion that there was something illicit about it , as the whole position between [the young people]_{6011-the young people} seemed to [him]_{327-uncle francis} gravely illicit . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’ll speak to [Denham]_154-ralph , ” [he]_{327-uncle francis} said , on the impulse of [his]_{327-uncle francis} suspicion , moving as if to go . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall come with [you]_0-i , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} said instantly , starting forward . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i will stay here , ” said [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . “_[0-i] What are [you]_0-i going to say to [him]_154-ralph ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i may say what [I]_0-i like in [[my]_0-i own house]_{3080-my own house} ? ” [he]_{406-her father} returned . “_[0-i] Then [I]_0-i go , too , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . At these words , which seemed to imply a determination to go — to go for ever , [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} returned to [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} position in front of the fire , and began swaying slightly from side to side without for the moment making any remark . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i understood [you]_0-i to say that [you]_0-i were not engaged to [him]_154-ralph , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said at length , fixing [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} eyes upon [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} . “_[0-i] [We]_2807-we are not engaged , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said . “_[0-i] It should be a matter of indifference to [you]_0-i , then , whether [he]_154-ralph comes [here]_2985-here or not — [I]_0-i will not have [you]_0-i listening to other things when [I]_0-i am speaking to [you]_0-i ! ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} broke off angrily , perceiving a slight movement on [her]_{129-katharine} part to one side . “_[0-i] Answer [me]_0-i frankly , what is [your]_0-i relationship with [this young man]_{433-this young man} ? ” “_[0-i] Nothing that [I]_0-i can explain to [a third person]_{2086-a third person} , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said obstinately . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i will have no more of these equivocations , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} replied . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i refuse to explain , ” [she]_{129-katharine} returned , and as [she]_{129-katharine} said it the front door banged to . “_[0-i] [There]_2927-there ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} exclaimed . “_[0-i] [He]_{433-this young man} is gone ! ” [She]_{129-katharine} flashed such a look of fiery indignation at [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} lost [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} self - control for a moment . “_{[433-this young man]} For God ’s sake , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , control [yourself]_{129-katharine} ! ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} cried . [She]_{129-katharine} looked for a moment like a wild animal caged in [a civilized dwelling - place]_{6087-a civilized dwelling - place} . [She]_{129-katharine} glanced over the walls covered with books , as if for a second [she]_{129-katharine} had forgotten the position of the door . Then [she]_{129-katharine} made as if to go , but [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} laid [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} hand upon [her]_{129-katharine} shoulder . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} compelled [her]_{129-katharine} to sit down . “_{[129-katharine]} These emotions have been very upsetting , naturally , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said . [His]_{134-mr. hilbery} manner had regained all its suavity , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} spoke with a soothing assumption of paternal authority . “_{[129-katharine]} [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve been placed in a very difficult position , as [I]_0-i understand from [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . Now let [us]_2812-us come to terms ; [we]_2812-us will leave these agitating questions in peace for the present . Meanwhile , let [us]_2812-us try to behave like [civilized beings]_{2813-civilized beings} . Let [us]_2812-us read [Sir Walter Scott]_{336-sir walter scott} . What d’you say to ‘ [The Antiquary]_{2814-the antiquary} , ’ eh ? Or ‘ [The Bride of [Lammermoor]_{117-lammermoor}]_{2815-the bride of lammermoor} ’ ? ” [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} made [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own choice , and before [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} could protest or make [her]_{1065-his daughter} escape , [she]_{1065-his daughter} found [herself]_{1065-his daughter} being turned by [the agency of [Sir Walter Scott]_{336-sir walter scott}]_{6090-the agency of sir walter scott} into [a civilized human being]_{6091-a civilized human being} . Yet [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had grave doubts , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} read , whether the process was more than skin - deep . [Civilization]_{366-civilization} had been very profoundly and unpleasantly overthrown that evening ; the extent of the ruin was still undetermined ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had lost [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} temper , a physical disaster not to be matched for the space of ten years or so ; and [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own condition urgently required soothing and renovating at the hands of [the classics]_{6092-the classics} . [[His]_{134-mr. hilbery} house]_{5825-his house} was in a state of revolution ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had a vision of unpleasant encounters on the staircase ; [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} meals would be poisoned for days to come ; was literature itself a specific against such disagreeables ? A note of hollowness was in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} voice as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} read . Considering that [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} lived in [a house which was accurately numbered in order with [its fellows]_{6095-its fellows}]_{6094-a house which was accurately numbered in order with its fellows} , and that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} filled up forms , paid rent , and had seven more years of tenancy to run , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had an excuse for laying down laws for the conduct of [those who lived in [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} house]_{5825-his house}]_{6096-those who lived in his house} , and this excuse , though profoundly inadequate , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} found useful during the interregnum of civilization with which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} now found [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} faced . In obedience to those laws , [Rodney]_176-rodney disappeared ; [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was dispatched to catch the eleven - thirty on Monday morning ; [Denham]_154-ralph was seen no more ; so that only [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [the lawful occupant of [the upper rooms]_{6099-the upper rooms}]_{6098-the lawful occupant of the upper rooms} , remained , and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} competent to see that [she]_{129-katharine} did nothing further to compromise [herself]_{129-katharine} . As [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} bade [her]_{129-katharine} good morning next day [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was aware that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} knew nothing of what [she]_{129-katharine} was thinking , but , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} reflected with some bitterness , even this was an advance upon the ignorance of the previous mornings . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} went to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} study]_{3974-his study} , wrote , tore up , and wrote again a letter to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} wife]_{2946-his wife} , asking [her]_{2946-his wife} to come back on account of domestic difficulties which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} specified at first , but in a later draft more discreetly left unspecified . Even if [she]_{129-katharine} started the very moment that [she]_{129-katharine} got it , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} reflected , [she]_{129-katharine} would not be [home]_2992-home till Tuesday night , and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} counted lugubriously the number of hours that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} would have to spend in a position of detestable authority alone with [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} . What was [she]_{129-katharine} doing now , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} wondered , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} addressed the envelope to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} wife]_{2946-his wife} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not control the telephone . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not play [the spy]_{6105-the spy} . [She]_{129-katharine} might be making any arrangements [she]_{129-katharine} chose . Yet the thought did not disturb [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} so much as the strange , unpleasant , illicit atmosphere of the whole scene with [the young people the night before]_{6106-the young people the night before} . [His]_{134-mr. hilbery} sense of discomfort was almost physical . Had [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} known it , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was far enough withdrawn , both physically and spiritually , from the telephone . [She]_{129-katharine} sat in [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} with the dictionaries spreading their wide leaves on the table before [her]_{129-katharine} , and all the pages which [they]_6108-they had concealed for so many years arranged in a pile . [She]_{129-katharine} worked with the steady concentration that is produced by the successful effort to think down some unwelcome thought by means of another thought . Having absorbed the unwelcome thought , [her]_{129-katharine} mind went on with additional vigor , derived from the victory ; on a sheet of paper lines of figures and symbols frequently and firmly written down marked the different stages of its progress . And yet it was broad daylight ; there were sounds of knocking and sweeping , which proved that [living people]_{6109-living people} were at work on the other side of the door , and the door , which could be thrown open in a second , was [her]_{129-katharine} only protection against [the world]_{478-the world} . But [she]_{129-katharine} had somehow risen to be mistress in [[her]_{129-katharine} own kingdom]_{6111-her own kingdom} , assuming [her]_{129-katharine} sovereignty unconsciously . Steps approached [her]_{129-katharine} unheard . It is true that they were steps that lingered , divagated , and mounted with the deliberation natural to [one past sixty whose arms , moreover , are full of leaves and blossoms]_{6112-one past sixty whose arms , moreover , are full of leaves and blossoms} ; but they came on steadily , and soon a tap of laurel boughs against the door arrested [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s pencil as it touched the page . [She]_{129-katharine} did not move , however , and sat blank - eyed as if waiting for the interruption to cease . Instead , the door opened . At first , [she]_{129-katharine} attached no meaning to the moving mass of green which seemed to enter [the room]_{379-the room} independently of any human agency . Then [she]_{129-katharine} recognized parts of [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s face and person behind the yellow flowers and soft velvet of the palm - buds . “_{[2815-the bride of lammermoor]} From [[Shakespeare]_170-william ’s tomb]_{4842-shakespeare ’s tomb} ! ” exclaimed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , dropping the entire mass upon the floor , with a gesture that seemed to indicate an act of dedication . Then [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} flung [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} arms wide and embraced [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} . “_{[2815-the bride of lammermoor]} Thank [God]_355-god , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_{[129-katharine]} Thank [God]_355-god ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} repeated . “_[355-god] [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve come back ? ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , very vaguely , standing up to receive the embrace . Although [she]_{129-katharine} recognized [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s presence , [she]_{129-katharine} was very far from taking part in the scene , and yet felt it to be amazingly appropriate that [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} should be [there]_2927-there , thanking [God]_355-god emphatically for unknown blessings , and strewing the floor with flowers and leaves from [[Shakespeare]_170-william ’s tomb]_{4842-shakespeare ’s tomb} . “_{[129-katharine]} Nothing else matters in [the world]_{478-the world} ! ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued . “_{[129-katharine]} Names are n’t everything ; it ’s what [we]_2818-we feel that ’s everything . [I]_0-i did n’t want silly , kind , interfering letters . [I]_0-i did n’t want [[your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} to tell [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i knew it from the first . [I]_0-i prayed that it might be so . ” “_[0-i] [You]_{129-katharine} knew it ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} repeated [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s words softly and vaguely , looking past [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_{[129-katharine]} How did [you]_{129-katharine} know it ? ” [She]_{129-katharine} began , like [a child]_{541-a child} , to finger a tassel hanging from [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s cloak . “_{[129-katharine]} The first evening [you]_{129-katharine} told [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . Oh , and thousands of times — dinner - parties — talking about books — the way [he]_{1101-your father} came into [the room]_{379-the room} — [your]_{129-katharine} voice when [you]_{129-katharine} spoke of [him]_{1101-your father} . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} seemed to consider each of these proofs separately . Then [she]_{129-katharine} said gravely : “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i ’m not going to marry [William]_170-william . And then there ’s [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} — ” “_{[303-cassandra]} Yes , there ’s [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i was a little grudging at first , but , after all , [she]_{303-cassandra} plays the piano so beautifully . Do tell [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , ” [she]_0-i asked impulsively , “_{[129-katharine]} where did [you]_{129-katharine} go that evening [she]_{303-cassandra} played [Mozart]_190-mozart , and [you]_{129-katharine} thought [I]_0-i was asleep ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} recollected with difficulty . “_{[303-cassandra]} To [Mary Datchet]_175-mary ’s , ” [she]_{129-katharine} remembered . “_{[303-cassandra]} Ah ! ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , with a slight note of disappointment in [her]_0-i voice . “_{[303-cassandra]} [I]_0-i had [my]_0-i little romance — [my]_0-i little speculation . ” [She]_0-i looked at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} faltered beneath that innocent and penetrating gaze ; [she]_{129-katharine} flushed , turned away , and then looked up with very bright eyes . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not in love with [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i said . “_[0-i] Do n’t marry unless [you]_{129-katharine} ’re in love ! ” said [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} very quickly . “_[0-i] But , ” [she]_0-i added , glancing momentarily at [[her]_0-i daughter]_{373-her daughter} , “_[0-i] are n’t there different ways , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} — different — ? ” “_{[129-katharine]} [We]_2821-we want to meet as often as [we]_2821-we like , but to be free , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} continued . “_[0-i] To meet [here]_2985-here , to meet in [[his]_154-ralph house]_{5825-his house} , to meet in [the street]_{397-the street} . ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ran over these phrases as if [she]_{129-katharine} were trying chords that did not quite satisfy [her]_{129-katharine} ear . It was plain that [she]_{129-katharine} had [her]_{129-katharine} sources of information , and , indeed , [her]_{129-katharine} bag was stuffed with what [she]_{129-katharine} called “_{[129-katharine]} kind letters ” from the pen of [[her]_{129-katharine} sister - in - law]_{1216-her sister - in - law} . “_[154-ralph] Yes . Or to stay away in [the country]_{761-the country} , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} concluded . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} paused , looked unhappy , and sought inspiration from the window . “_[154-ralph] What a comfort [he]_154-ralph was in [that shop]_{2826-that shop} — how [he]_154-ralph took [me]_0-i and found [the ruins]_{1874-the ruins} at once — how safe [I]_0-i felt with [him]_154-ralph — ” “_[0-i] Safe ? Oh , no , [he]_154-ralph ’s fearfully rash — [he]_154-ralph ’s always taking risks . [He]_154-ralph wants to throw up [his]_154-ralph profession and live in [a little cottage]_{2828-a little cottage} and write books , though [he]_154-ralph has n’t a penny of [his]_154-ralph own , and there are any number of [sisters]_516-sisters and [brothers]_{2206-brothers} dependent on [him]_154-ralph . ” “_{[516-sisters]} Ah , [he]_154-ralph has [a mother]_{4202-a mother} ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} inquired . “_{[516-sisters]} Yes . Rather [a fine - looking old lady]_{2832-a fine - looking old lady} , with white hair . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} began to describe [her]_{129-katharine} visit , and soon [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} elicited the facts that not only was [the house of]_{6126-the house of} excruciating ugliness , which [Ralph]_154-ralph bore without complaint , but that it was evident that [every one]_{3109-every one} depended on [him]_154-ralph , and [he]_154-ralph had [a room at the top of [the house]_{377-the house}]_{6128-a room at the top of the house} , with a wonderful view over [London]_2-london , and [a rook]_{6130-a rook} . “_{[2832-a fine - looking old lady]} A wretched old bird in a corner , with half its feathers out , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said , with a tenderness in [her]_{129-katharine} voice that seemed to commiserate the sufferings of humanity while resting assured in the capacity of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph to alleviate [them]_6131-them , so that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} could not help exclaiming : “_{[2832-a fine - looking old lady]} But , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [you]_{129-katharine} are in love ! ” at which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} flushed , looked startled , as if [she]_{129-katharine} had said something that [she]_{129-katharine} ought not to have said , and shook [her]_{129-katharine} head . [Hastily Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} asked for further details of [this extraordinary house]_{6132-this extraordinary house} , and interposed a few speculations about the meeting between [Keats]_221-keats and [Coleridge]_{222-coleridge} in [a lane]_{6133-a lane} , which tided over the discomfort of the moment , and drew [Katharine]_{129-katharine} on to further descriptions and indiscretions . In truth , [she]_{129-katharine} found an extraordinary pleasure in being thus free to talk to [some one who was equally wise and equally benignant]_{6134-some one who was equally wise and equally benignant} , [the mother of [her]_{129-katharine} earliest childhood]_{6135-the mother of her earliest childhood} , whose silence seemed to answer questions that were never asked . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} listened without making any remark for a considerable time . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} seemed to draw [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} conclusions rather by looking at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} than by listening to [her]_{373-her daughter} , and , if cross - examined , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} would probably have given a highly inaccurate version of [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph ’s life - history except that [he]_154-ralph was penniless , fatherless , and lived at [Highgate]_6-highgate — all of which was much in [his]_154-ralph favor . But by means of these furtive glances [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had assured [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} was in a state which gave [her]_{129-katharine} , alternately , the most exquisite pleasure and the most profound alarm . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} could not help ejaculating at last : “_{[129-katharine]} It ’s all done in five minutes at [a Registry Office]_{2833-a registry office} nowadays , if [you]_2834-you think the Church service a little florid — which it is , though there are noble things in it . ” “_[2834-you] But [we]_2835-we do n’t want to be married , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} replied emphatically , and added , “_[2834-you] Why , after all , is n’t it perfectly possible to live together without being married ? ” Again [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} looked discomposed , and , in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} trouble , took up the sheets which were lying upon the table , and began turning them over this way and that , and muttering to [herself]_0-i as [she]_0-i glanced : “_[2834-you] A plus B minus C equals ‘ x y z ’ . It ’s so dreadfully ugly , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . That ’s what [I]_0-i feel — so dreadfully ugly . ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} took the sheets from [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} ’s hand and began shuffling them absent - mindedly together , for [her]_0-i fixed gaze seemed to show that [her]_0-i thoughts were intent upon some other matter . “_[0-i] Well , [I]_0-i do n’t know about ugliness , ” [she]_0-i said at length . “_[0-i] But [he]_2836-he does n’t ask it of [you]_0-i ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_[2836-he] Not [that grave young man with the steady brown eyes]_{2837-that grave young man with the steady brown eyes} ? ” “_[2836-he] [He]_2836-he does n’t ask anything — [we]_2835-we neither of [us]_2835-we ask anything . ” “_[2836-he] If [I]_0-i could help [you]_{129-katharine} , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , by the memory of what [I]_0-i felt — ” “_{[129-katharine]} Yes , tell [me]_0-i what [you]_{129-katharine} felt . ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} eyes growing blank , peered down the enormously long corridor of days at the far end of which the little figures of [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} and [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} husband]_{3641-her husband} appeared fantastically attired , clasping hands upon [a moonlit beach]_{6139-a moonlit beach} , with roses swinging in the dusk . “_[2835-we] [We]_2835-we were in [a little boat]_{2838-a little boat} going out to [a ship]_{2839-a ship} at night , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} began . “_[2835-we] The sun had set and the moon was rising over [our]_2835-we heads . There were lovely silver lights upon the waves and three green lights upon [the steamer]_{2840-the steamer} in [the middle of [the bay]_{2842-the bay}]_{2841-the middle of the bay} . [[Your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} ’s head looked so grand against the mast . It was life , it was death . [The great sea]_{2844-the great sea} was round [us]_2835-we . It was the voyage for ever and ever . ” The ancient fairy - tale fell roundly and harmoniously upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s ears . Yes , there was the enormous space of [the sea]_{829-the sea} ; there were the three green lights upon [the steamer]_{2840-the steamer} ; [the cloaked figures]_{6142-the cloaked figures} climbed up on deck . And so , voyaging over [the green and purple waters]_{6143-the green and purple waters} , past [the cliffs]_{6144-the cliffs} and the sandy lagoons and through pools crowded with the masts of [ships]_1197-ships and [the steeples of churches]_{6146-the steeples of churches} — here [they]_{6142-the cloaked figures} were . [The river]_{945-the river} seemed to have brought [them]_{6142-the cloaked figures} and deposited [them]_{6142-the cloaked figures} here at this precise point . [She]_{129-katharine} looked admiringly at [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} , [that ancient voyager]_{6149-that ancient voyager} . “_[2845-you] Who knows , ” exclaimed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , continuing [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} reveries , “_{[129-katharine]} where [we]_2835-we are bound for , or why , or who has sent [us]_2835-we , or what [we]_2835-we shall find — who knows anything , except that love is [our]_2835-we faith — love — ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} crooned , and the soft sound beating through the dim words was heard by [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} as the breaking of waves solemnly in order upon [the vast shore that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} gazed upon]_{6151-the vast shore that she gazed upon} . [She]_{129-katharine} would have been content for [[her]_{129-katharine} mother]_{380-her mother} to repeat that word almost indefinitely — a soothing word when uttered by another , a riveting together of the shattered fragments of [the world]_{478-the world} . But [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , instead of repeating the word love , said pleadingly : “_{[129-katharine]} And [you]_2845-you wo n’t think those ugly thoughts again , will [you]_2845-you , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” at which words [the ship which [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had been considering]_{6154-the ship which katharine had been considering} seemed to put into [harbor]_6155-harbor and have done with [its]_{6154-the ship which katharine had been considering} seafaring . Yet [she]_{129-katharine} was in great need , if not exactly of sympathy , of some form of advice , or , at least , of the opportunity of setting forth [her]_{129-katharine} problems before [a third person]_{2086-a third person} so as to renew them in [her]_{129-katharine} own eyes . “_[2845-you] But then , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , ignoring the difficult problem of ugliness , “_[2845-you] [you]_2845-you knew [you]_2845-you were in love ; but [we]_2846-we ’re different . It seems , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued , frowning a little as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} tried to fix the difficult feeling , “_[2845-you] as if something came to an end suddenly — gave out — faded — an illusion — as if when [we]_2846-we think [we]_2846-we ’re in love [we]_2846-we make it up — [we]_2846-we imagine what does n’t exist . That ’s why it ’s impossible that [we]_2846-we should ever marry . Always to be finding [the other]_{1230-the other} an illusion , and going off and forgetting about [them]_{1230-the other} , never to be certain that [you]_2845-you cared , or that [he]_2848-he was n’t caring for some one not [you]_2845-you at all , the horror of changing from one state to the other , being happy one moment and miserable the next — that ’s the reason why [we]_2846-we ca n’t possibly marry . At the same time , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued , “_[2850-you] [we]_2846-we ca n’t live without [each other]_{451-each other} , because — ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} waited patiently for the sentence to be completed , but [Katharine]_{129-katharine} fell silent and fingered [her]_{129-katharine} sheet of figures . “_[2846-we] [We]_2846-we have to have faith in [our]_2846-we vision , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} resumed , glancing at the figures , which distressed [her]_{129-katharine} vaguely , and had some connection in [her]_{129-katharine} mind with the household accounts , “_[2850-you] otherwise , as [you]_2850-you say — ” [She]_{129-katharine} cast a lightning glance into the depths of disillusionment which were , perhaps , not altogether unknown to [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[2850-you] Believe [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , it ’s the same for every one — for [me]_0-i , too — for [[your]_{129-katharine} father]_{1101-your father} , ” [she]_0-i said earnestly , and sighed . [They]_2846-we looked together into [the abyss]_{6157-the abyss} and , as [the elder of [the two]_{1287-the two}]_{6158-the elder of the two} , [she]_0-i recovered [herself]_0-i first and asked : “_{[1101-your father]} But where is [Ralph]_154-ralph ? Why is n’t [he]_154-ralph here to see [me]_0-i ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s expression changed instantly . “_[154-ralph] Because [he]_154-ralph ’s not allowed to come here , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied bitterly . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} brushed this aside . “_[154-ralph] Would there be time to send for [him]_154-ralph before luncheon ? ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} asked . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} looked at [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} as if , indeed , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} were [some magician]_{6160-some magician} . Once more [she]_{129-katharine} felt that instead of being [a grown woman , used to advise and command]_{6161-a grown woman , used to advise and command} , [she]_{129-katharine} was only a foot or two raised above the long grass and the little flowers and entirely dependent upon [the figure of indefinite size whose head went up into the sky]_{6162-the figure of indefinite size whose head went up into the sky} , whose hand was in [hers]_{129-katharine} , for guidance . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m not happy without [him]_154-ralph , ” [she]_0-i said simply . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} nodded [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} head in a manner which indicated complete understanding , and the immediate conception of certain plans for the future . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} swept up [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} flowers , breathed in their sweetness , and , humming a little song about [[a miller]_{6163-a miller} ’s daughter]_{6164-a miller ’s daughter} , left [the room]_{379-the room} . The case upon which [Ralph Denham]_154-ralph was engaged that afternoon was not apparently receiving [his]_154-ralph full attention , and yet the affairs of [the late John Leake of [Dublin]_118-dublin]_{6166-the late john leake of dublin} were sufficiently confused to need all the care that [a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} could bestow upon [them]_6168-them , if [the widow Leake]_{6169-the widow leake} and [the five Leake children of tender age]_{6170-the five leake children of tender age} were to receive any pittance at all . But the appeal to [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s humanity had little chance of being heard to - day ; [he]_154-ralph was no longer [a model of concentration]_{6171-a model of concentration} . The partition so carefully erected between the different sections of [his]_154-ralph life had been broken down , with the result that though [his]_154-ralph eyes were fixed upon the last Will and Testament , [he]_154-ralph saw through the page [a certain drawing - room in [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk}]_{6172-a certain drawing - room in cheyne walk} . [He]_154-ralph tried every device that had proved effective in the past for keeping up the partitions of the mind , until [he]_154-ralph could decently go [home]_2992-home ; but a little to [his]_154-ralph alarm [he]_154-ralph found [himself]_154-ralph assailed so persistently , as if from outside , by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , that [he]_154-ralph launched forth desperately into an imaginary interview with [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} obliterated a bookcase full of law reports , and the corners and lines of [the room]_{379-the room} underwent a curious softening of outline like that which sometimes makes [a room]_{4476-a room} unfamiliar at the moment of waking from sleep . By degrees , a pulse or stress began to beat at regular intervals in [his]_154-ralph mind , heaping [his]_154-ralph thoughts into waves to which words fitted themselves , and without much consciousness of what [he]_154-ralph was doing , [he]_154-ralph began to write on a sheet of draft paper what had the appearance of a poem lacking several words in each line . Not many lines had been set down , however , before [he]_154-ralph threw away [his]_154-ralph pen as violently as if that were responsible for [his]_154-ralph misdeeds , and tore the paper into many separate pieces . This was a sign that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had asserted [herself]_{129-katharine} and put to [him]_154-ralph a remark that could not be met poetically . [Her]_{129-katharine} remark was entirely destructive of poetry , since it was to the effect that poetry had nothing whatever to do with [her]_{129-katharine} ; all [[her]_{129-katharine} friends]_{3225-her friends} spent [their]_{3225-her friends} lives in making up phrases , [she]_{129-katharine} said ; all [his]_154-ralph feeling was an illusion , and next moment , as if to taunt [him]_154-ralph with [his]_154-ralph impotence , [she]_{129-katharine} had sunk into one of those dreamy states which took no account whatever of [his]_154-ralph existence . [Ralph]_154-ralph was roused by [his]_154-ralph passionate attempts to attract [her]_{129-katharine} attention to the fact that [he]_154-ralph was standing in the middle of [[his]_154-ralph little private room]_{6177-his little private room} in [Lincoln ’s Inn Fields]_{23-lincoln ’s inn fields} at a considerable distance from [Chelsea]_10-chelsea . The physical distance increased [his]_154-ralph desperation . [He]_154-ralph began pacing in circles until the process sickened [him]_154-ralph , and then took a sheet of paper for the composition of a letter which , [he]_154-ralph vowed before [he]_154-ralph began it , should be sent that same evening . It was a difficult matter to put into words ; poetry would have done it better justice , but [he]_154-ralph must abstain from poetry . In an infinite number of half - obliterated scratches [he]_154-ralph tried to convey to [her]_{129-katharine} the possibility that although [human beings]_{923-human beings} are woefully ill - adapted for communication , still , such communion is the best [we]_6179-we know ; moreover , [they]_{923-human beings} make it possible for each to have access to [another world independent of personal affairs]_{6180-another world independent of personal affairs} , a world of law , of philosophy , or more strangely a world such as [he]_154-ralph had had a glimpse of the other evening when together [they]_{923-human beings} seemed to be sharing something , creating something , an ideal — a vision flung out in advance of [our]_6179-we actual circumstances . If this golden rim were quenched , if life were no longer circled by an illusion ( but was it an illusion after all ? ) , then it would be too dismal an affair to carry to an end ; so [he]_154-ralph wrote with a sudden spurt of conviction which made clear way for a space and left at least one sentence standing whole . Making every allowance for other desires , on the whole this conclusion appeared to [him]_154-ralph to justify [their]_{923-human beings} relationship . But the conclusion was mystical ; it plunged [him]_154-ralph into thought . The difficulty with which even this amount was written , the inadequacy of the words , and the need of writing under them and over them others which , after all , did no better , led [him]_154-ralph to leave off before [he]_154-ralph was at all satisfied with [his]_154-ralph production , and unable to resist the conviction that such rambling would never be fit for [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s eye . [He]_154-ralph felt [himself]_154-ralph more cut off from [her]_{129-katharine} than ever . In idleness , and because [he]_154-ralph could do nothing further with words , [he]_154-ralph began to draw little figures in the blank spaces , heads meant to resemble [her]_{129-katharine} head , blots fringed with flames meant to represent — perhaps [the entire universe]_{5559-the entire universe} . From this occupation [he]_154-ralph was roused by the message that [a lady]_{4354-a lady} wished to speak to [him]_154-ralph . [He]_154-ralph had scarcely time to run [his]_154-ralph hands through [his]_154-ralph hair in order to look as much like [a solicitor]_{996-a solicitor} as possible , and to cram [his]_154-ralph papers into [his]_154-ralph pocket , already overcome with shame that another eye should behold them , when [he]_154-ralph realized that [his]_154-ralph preparations were needless . [The lady]_{5345-the lady} was [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [you]_2852-you ’re not disposing of [somebody]_896-somebody ’s fortune in a hurry , ” [she]_0-i remarked , gazing at the documents on [his]_2852-you table , “_[2852-you] or cutting off an entail at one blow , because [I]_0-i want to ask [you]_2852-you to do [me]_0-i a favor . And [Anderson]_368-anderson wo n’t keep [his]_368-anderson horse waiting . ( [Anderson]_368-anderson is [a perfect tyrant]_{2854-a perfect tyrant} , but [he]_368-anderson drove [[my]_0-i dear father]_{2855-my dear father} to [the Abbey]_{119-the abbey} the day [they]_2856-they buried [him]_368-anderson . ) [I]_0-i made bold to come to [you]_2852-you , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham , not exactly in search of legal assistance ( though [I]_0-i do n’t know who [I]_0-i ’d rather come to , if [I]_0-i were in trouble ) , but in order to ask [your]_2852-you help in settling some tiresome little domestic affairs that have arisen in [my]_0-i absence . [I]_0-i ’ve been to [Stratford - on - Avon]_{82-stratford - on - avon} ( [I]_0-i must tell [you]_2852-you all about that one of these days ) , and there [I]_0-i got a letter from [[my]_0-i sister - in - law]_{1537-my sister - in - law} , [a dear kind goose who likes interfering with [other people]_{2964-other people} ’s children]_{2858-a dear kind goose who likes interfering with other people ’s children} because [she]_{1537-my sister - in - law} ’s got none of [her]_{1537-my sister - in - law} own . ( [We]_2860-we ’re dreadfully afraid that [she]_{1537-my sister - in - law} ’s going to lose the sight of one of [her]_{1537-my sister - in - law} eyes , and [I]_0-i always feel that [our]_2860-we physical ailments are so apt to turn into mental ailments . [I]_0-i think [Matthew Arnold]_{369-matthew arnold} says something of the same kind about [Lord Byron]_220-byron . ) But that ’s neither here nor there . ” The effect of these parentheses , whether they were introduced for that purpose or represented a natural instinct on [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ’s part to embellish the bareness of [her]_0-i discourse , gave [Ralph]_154-ralph time to perceive that [she]_0-i possessed all the facts of [their]_2860-we situation and was come , somehow , in the capacity of [ambassador]_{6185-ambassador} . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did n’t come here to talk about [Lord Byron]_220-byron , ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} continued , with a little laugh , “_[0-i] though [I]_0-i know that both [you]_2861-you and [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , unlike [other young people of [your]_2861-you generation]_{2862-other young people of your generation} , still find [him]_220-byron worth reading . ” [She]_0-i paused . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’m so glad [you]_2861-you ’ve made [Katharine]_{129-katharine} read poetry , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham ! ” [she]_0-i exclaimed , “_[131-denham] and feel poetry , and look poetry ! [She]_{129-katharine} ca n’t talk it yet , but [she]_{129-katharine} will — oh , [she]_{129-katharine} will ! ” [Ralph]_154-ralph , whose hand was grasped and whose tongue almost refused to articulate , somehow contrived to say that there were moments when [he]_154-ralph felt hopeless , utterly hopeless , though [he]_154-ralph gave no reason for this statement on [his]_154-ralph part . “_{[129-katharine]} But [you]_2861-you care for [her]_{129-katharine} ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} inquired . “_[2861-you] [Good God]_355-god ! ” [he]_154-ralph exclaimed , with a vehemence which admitted of no question . “_[2861-you] It ’s [the Church of [England]_5-england]_{120-the church of england} service [you]_2861-you both object to ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} inquired innocently . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n’t care a damn what service it is , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied . “_[0-i] [You]_2861-you would marry [her]_{129-katharine} in [Westminster Abbey]_{121-westminster abbey} if the worst came to the worst ? ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} inquired . “_[2861-you] [I]_0-i would marry [her]_{129-katharine} in [St. Paul ’s Cathedral]_{122-st. paul ’s cathedral} , ” [Ralph]_154-ralph replied . [His]_154-ralph doubts upon this point , which were always roused by [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s presence , had vanished completely , and [his]_154-ralph strongest wish in [the world]_{478-the world} was to be with [her]_{129-katharine} immediately , since every second [he]_154-ralph was away from [her]_{129-katharine} [he]_154-ralph imagined [her]_{129-katharine} slipping farther and farther from [him]_154-ralph into one of those states of mind in which [he]_154-ralph was unrepresented . [He]_154-ralph wished to dominate [her]_{129-katharine} , to possess [her]_{129-katharine} . “_[0-i] Thank [God]_355-god ! ” exclaimed [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} thanked [Him]_154-ralph for a variety of blessings : for the conviction with which [the young man]_{457-the young man} spoke ; and not least for the prospect that on [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} ’s wedding - day the noble cadences , the stately periods , the ancient eloquence of the marriage service would resound over the heads of [a distinguished congregation gathered together near the very spot where [[her]_{373-her daughter} father]_{406-her father} lay quiescent with [the other poets of [England]_5-england]_{6191-the other poets of england}]_{6189-a distinguished congregation gathered together near the very spot where her father lay quiescent with the other poets of england} . The tears filled [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} eyes ; but [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} remembered simultaneously that [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} carriage]_{6192-her carriage} was waiting , and with dim eyes [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} walked to the door . [Denham]_154-ralph followed [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} . It was a strange drive . For [Denham]_154-ralph it was without exception the most unpleasant [he]_154-ralph had ever taken . [His]_154-ralph only wish was to go as straightly and quickly as possible to [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} ; but it soon appeared that [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} either ignored or thought fit to baffle this desire by interposing various errands of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} own . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} stopped [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} at [post - offices]_{4885-post - offices} , and [coffee - shops]_{6196-coffee - shops} , and shops of inscrutable dignity where [the aged attendants]_{6197-the aged attendants} had to be greeted as [old friends]_{2982-old friends} ; and , catching sight of [the dome of [St. Paul]_{123-st. paul} ’s]_{6199-the dome of st. paul ’s} above [the irregular spires of [Ludgate Hill]_{124-ludgate hill}]_{6200-the irregular spires of ludgate hill} , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pulled the cord impulsively , and gave directions that [Anderson]_368-anderson should drive [them]_2863-them [there]_2927-there . But [Anderson]_368-anderson had reasons of [his]_368-anderson own for discouraging afternoon worship , and kept [his]_368-anderson horse ’s nose obstinately towards [the west]_{6202-the west} . After some minutes , [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} realized the situation , and accepted it good - humoredly , apologizing to [Ralph]_154-ralph for [his]_154-ralph disappointment . “_[0-i] Never mind , ” [she]_0-i said , “_[0-i] [we]_2863-them ’ll go to [St. Paul ’s]_{123-st. paul} another day , and it may turn out , though [I]_0-i ca n’t promise that it will , that [he]_2864-he ’ll take [us]_2863-them past [Westminster Abbey]_{121-westminster abbey} , which would be even better . ” [Ralph]_154-ralph was scarcely aware of what [she]_0-i went on to say . [Her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mind and body both seemed to have floated into another region of quick - sailing clouds rapidly passing across each other and enveloping everything in a vaporous indistinctness . Meanwhile [he]_154-ralph remained conscious of [his]_154-ralph own concentrated desire , [his]_154-ralph impotence to bring about anything [he]_154-ralph wished , and [his]_154-ralph increasing agony of impatience . Suddenly [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pulled the cord with such decision that even [Anderson]_368-anderson had to listen to the order which [she]_0-i leant out of the window to give [him]_154-ralph . [The carriage]_{3928-the carriage} pulled up abruptly in the middle of [Whitehall]_73-whitehall before [a large building dedicated to one of [[our]_2863-them Government offices]_{6205-our government offices}]_{6204-a large building dedicated to one of our government offices} . In a second [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was mounting the steps , and [Ralph]_154-ralph was left in too acute an irritation by this further delay even to speculate what errand took [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} now to [the Board of Education]_{6206-the board of education} . [He]_154-ralph was about to jump from [the carriage]_{3928-the carriage} and take [a cab]_{3079-a cab} , when [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} reappeared talking genially to [a figure who remained hidden behind [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery}]_{6209-a figure who remained hidden behind her} . “_[2864-he] There ’s plenty of room for [us]_2865-us all , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was saying . “_[2864-he] Plenty of [room]_2866-room . [We]_2865-us could find space for four of [you]_2867-you , [William]_170-william , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} added , opening the door , and [Ralph]_154-ralph found that [Rodney]_176-rodney had now joined [[their]_2865-us company]_{6210-their company} . [The two men]_{5334-the two men} glanced at [each other]_{451-each other} . If distress , shame , discomfort in its most acute form were ever visible upon a human face , [Ralph]_154-ralph could read [them]_{5334-the two men} all expressed beyond the eloquence of words upon the face of [[his]_154-ralph unfortunate companion]_{6213-his unfortunate companion} . But [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was either completely unseeing or determined to appear so . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} went on talking ; [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} talked , it seemed to both [the young men]_{3895-the young men} , to [some one outside , up in the air]_{6215-some one outside , up in the air} . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} talked about [Shakespeare]_170-william , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} apostrophized [the human race]_{4209-the human race} , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} proclaimed the virtues of divine poetry , [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} began to recite verses which broke down in the middle . The great advantage of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} discourse was that it was self - supporting . It nourished [itself]_6217-itself until [Cheyne Walk]_{16-cheyne walk} was reached upon half a dozen grunts and murmurs . “_{[170-william]} Now , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , alighting briskly at [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} door , “_{[170-william]} here [we]_2868-we are ! ” There was something airy and ironical in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} voice and expression as [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} turned upon [the doorstep]_{3650-the doorstep} and looked at [them]_{3895-the young men} , which filled both [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Denham]_154-ralph with the same misgivings at having trusted [their]_{3895-the young men} fortunes to [such an ambassador]_{6219-such an ambassador} ; and [Rodney]_176-rodney actually hesitated upon the threshold and murmured to [Denham]_154-ralph : “_[2869-you] [You]_2869-you go in , [Denham]_154-ralph . [I]_0-i ... ” [He]_176-rodney was turning tail , but the door opening and the familiar look of [the house]_{377-the house} asserting [its]_{377-the house} charm , [he]_176-rodney bolted in on the wake of [the others]_{1091-the others} , and the door shut upon [his]_176-rodney escape . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} led the way [upstairs]_523-upstairs . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} took [them]_6223-them to [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} . The fire burnt as usual , the little tables were laid with china and silver . There was [nobody there]_{6225-nobody there} . “_[0-i] Ah , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , “_[0-i] [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s not [here]_2985-here . [She]_{129-katharine} must be [upstairs]_523-upstairs in [[her]_{129-katharine} room]_{798-her room} . [You]_2873-you have something to say to [her]_{129-katharine} , [I]_0-i know , [Mr. Denham]_131-denham . [You]_2873-you can find [your]_2873-you way ? ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} vaguely indicated the ceiling with a gesture of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} hand . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had become suddenly serious and composed , mistress in [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} own house]_{5855-her own house} . The gesture with which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} dismissed [him]_131-denham had a dignity that [Ralph]_154-ralph never forgot . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} seemed to make [him]_131-denham free with a wave of [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} hand to all that [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} possessed . [He]_131-denham left [the room]_{379-the room} . [[The Hilberys]_{148-the hilberys} ’ house]_{5552-the hilberys ’ house} was tall , possessing many stories and passages with closed doors , all , once [he]_131-denham had passed [the drawing - room floor]_{6229-the drawing - room floor} , unknown to [Ralph]_154-ralph . [He]_131-denham mounted as high as [he]_131-denham could and knocked at the first door [he]_131-denham came to . “_[2873-you] May [I]_0-i come in ? ” [he]_131-denham asked . A voice from within answered “_[0-i] Yes . ” [He]_131-denham was conscious of a large window , full of light , of a bare table , and of a long looking - glass . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} had risen , and was standing with some white papers in [her]_{129-katharine} hand , which slowly fluttered to the ground as [she]_{129-katharine} saw [[her]_{129-katharine} visitor]_{5226-her visitor} . The explanation was a short one . The sounds were inarticulate ; [no one]_{2921-no one} could have understood the meaning save [themselves]_6232-they . As if the forces of [the world]_{478-the world} were all at work to tear [them]_6232-they asunder [they]_6232-they sat , clasping hands , near enough to be taken even by the malicious eye of Time [himself]_131-denham for [a united couple]_{6234-a united couple} , [an indivisible unit]_{6235-an indivisible unit} . “_[0-i] Do n’t move , do n’t go , ” [she]_{129-katharine} begged of [him]_131-denham , when [he]_131-denham stooped to gather the papers [she]_{129-katharine} had let fall . But [he]_131-denham took them in [his]_131-denham hands and , giving [her]_{129-katharine} by a sudden impulse [his]_131-denham own unfinished dissertation , with its mystical conclusion , [they]_6232-they read [each other]_{451-each other} ’s compositions in silence . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} read [his]_131-denham sheets to an end ; [Ralph]_154-ralph followed [her]_{129-katharine} figures as far as [his]_154-ralph mathematics would let [him]_154-ralph . [They]_6232-they came to the end of [their]_6232-they tasks at about the same moment , and sat for a time in silence . “_[0-i] Those were the papers [you]_2874-you left on the seat at [Kew]_330-kew , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph at length . “_[2874-you] [You]_2874-you folded them so quickly that [I]_0-i could n’t see what they were . ” [She]_{129-katharine} blushed very deeply ; but as [she]_{129-katharine} did not move or attempt to hide [her]_{129-katharine} face [she]_{129-katharine} had the appearance of [some one disarmed of all defences]_{6237-some one disarmed of all defences} , or [Ralph]_154-ralph likened [her]_{129-katharine} to a wild bird just settling with wings trembling to fold themselves within reach of [his]_154-ralph hand . The moment of exposure had been exquisitely painful — the light shed startlingly vivid . [She]_{129-katharine} had now to get used to the fact that [some one]_{376-some one} shared [her]_{129-katharine} loneliness . The bewilderment was half shame and half the prelude to profound rejoicing . Nor was [she]_{129-katharine} unconscious that on the surface the whole thing must appear of the utmost absurdity . [She]_{129-katharine} looked to see whether [Ralph]_154-ralph smiled , but found [his]_154-ralph gaze fixed on [her]_{129-katharine} with such gravity that [she]_{129-katharine} turned to the belief that [she]_{129-katharine} had committed no sacrilege but enriched [herself]_{129-katharine} , perhaps immeasurably , perhaps eternally . [She]_{129-katharine} hardly dared steep [herself]_{129-katharine} in the infinite bliss . But [his]_154-ralph glance seemed to ask for some assurance upon another point of vital interest to [him]_154-ralph . It beseeched [her]_{129-katharine} mutely to tell [him]_154-ralph whether what [she]_{129-katharine} had read upon [his]_154-ralph confused sheet had any meaning or truth to [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} bent [her]_{129-katharine} head once more to the papers [she]_{129-katharine} held . “_[2874-you] [I]_0-i like [your]_2875-your little dot with the flames round it , ” [she]_{129-katharine} said meditatively . [Ralph]_154-ralph nearly tore the page from [her]_{129-katharine} hand in shame and despair when [he]_154-ralph saw [her]_{129-katharine} actually contemplating the idiotic symbol of [his]_154-ralph most confused and emotional moments . [He]_154-ralph was convinced that it could mean nothing to another , although somehow to [him]_154-ralph it conveyed not only [Katharine]_{129-katharine} [herself]_{129-katharine} but all those states of mind which had clustered round [her]_{129-katharine} since [he]_154-ralph first saw [her]_{129-katharine} pouring out tea on a Sunday afternoon . It represented by its circumference of smudges surrounding a central blot all that encircling glow which for [him]_154-ralph surrounded , inexplicably , so many of the objects of life , softening their sharp outline , so that [he]_154-ralph could see [certain streets]_{6239-certain streets} , books , and situations wearing a halo almost perceptible to the physical eye . Did [she]_{129-katharine} smile ? Did [she]_{129-katharine} put the paper down wearily , condemning it not only for its inadequacy but for its falsity ? Was [she]_{129-katharine} going to protest once more that [he]_154-ralph only loved the vision of [her]_{129-katharine} ? But it did not occur to [her]_{129-katharine} that this diagram had anything to do with [her]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} said simply , and in the same tone of reflection : “_[0-i] Yes , [the world]_{478-the world} looks something like that to [me]_0-i too . ” [He]_154-ralph received [her]_{129-katharine} assurance with profound joy . Quietly and steadily there rose up behind the whole aspect of life that soft edge of fire which gave its red tint to the atmosphere and crowded the scene with shadows so deep and dark that one could fancy pushing farther into [their]_6240-their density and still farther , exploring indefinitely . Whether there was any correspondence between the two prospects now opening before [them]_6241-them [they]_6241-them shared the same sense of the impending future , vast , mysterious , infinitely stored with undeveloped shapes which each would unwrap for the other to behold ; but for the present the prospect of the future was enough to fill [them]_6241-them with silent adoration . At any rate , [their]_6241-them further attempts to communicate articulately were interrupted by a knock on the door , and the entrance of [a maid who , with a due sense of mystery]_{6242-a maid who , with a due sense of mystery} , announced that [a lady]_{4354-a lady} wished to see [Miss Hilbery]_{129-katharine} , but refused to allow [her]_{4354-a lady} name to be given . When [Katharine]_{129-katharine} rose , with a profound sigh , to resume [her]_{129-katharine} duties , [Ralph]_154-ralph went with [her]_{129-katharine} , and [neither of [them]_6241-them]_{5244-neither of them} formulated any guess , on [their]_6241-them way [downstairs]_{535-downstairs} , as to who [this anonymous lady]_{6246-this anonymous lady} might prove to be . Perhaps the fantastic notion that [she]_{6246-this anonymous lady} was a little black hunchback provided with a steel knife , which [she]_{6246-this anonymous lady} would plunge into [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s heart , appeared to [Ralph]_154-ralph more probable than another , and [he]_154-ralph pushed first into [the dining - room]_{5668-the dining - room} to avert the blow . Then [he]_154-ralph exclaimed “_{[303-cassandra]} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ! ” with such heartiness at the sight of [Cassandra Otway]_{303-cassandra} standing by [the dining - room table]_{6248-the dining - room table} that [she]_0-i put [her]_0-i finger to [her]_0-i lips and begged [him]_154-ralph to be quiet . “_{[303-cassandra]} [Nobody]_2970-nobody must know [I]_0-i ’m [here]_2985-here , ” [she]_0-i explained in a sepulchral whisper . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i missed [my]_0-i train . [I]_0-i have been wandering about [London]_2-london all day . [I]_0-i can bear it no longer . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , what am [I]_0-i to do ? ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} pushed forward a chair ; [Ralph]_154-ralph hastily found wine and poured it out for [her]_{129-katharine} . If not actually fainting , [she]_{129-katharine} was very near it . “_[176-rodney] [[William]_176-rodney ’s [upstairs]_523-upstairs]_{2879-william ’s upstairs} , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , as soon as [she]_{129-katharine} appeared to be recovered . “_[176-rodney] [I]_0-i ’ll go and ask [him]_176-rodney to come down to [you]_{129-katharine} . ” [His]_154-ralph own happiness had given [him]_154-ralph a confidence that [every one else]_{1638-every one else} was bound to be happy too . But [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had [[her]_{303-cassandra} uncle]_{4052-her uncle} ’s commands and anger too vividly in [her]_{303-cassandra} mind to dare any such defiance . [She]_{303-cassandra} became agitated and said that [she]_{303-cassandra} must leave [the house]_{377-the house} at once . [She]_{303-cassandra} was not in a condition to go , had [they]_6252-they known where to send [her]_{303-cassandra} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s common sense , which had been in abeyance for the past week or two , still failed [her]_{303-cassandra} , and [she]_{303-cassandra} could only ask , “_[176-rodney] But where ’s [your]_{129-katharine} luggage ? ” in the vague belief that to take lodgings depended entirely upon a sufficiency of luggage . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s reply , “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve lost [my]_0-i luggage , ” in no way helped [her]_{303-cassandra} to a conclusion . “_[0-i] [You]_{129-katharine} ’ve lost [your]_{129-katharine} luggage , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} repeated . [Her]_{303-cassandra} eyes rested upon [Ralph]_154-ralph , with an expression which seemed better fitted to accompany a profound thanksgiving for [his]_154-ralph existence or some vow of eternal devotion than a question about luggage . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} perceived the look , and saw that it was returned ; [her]_{303-cassandra} eyes filled with tears . [She]_{303-cassandra} faltered in what [she]_{303-cassandra} was saying . [She]_{303-cassandra} began bravely again to discuss the question of lodging when [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , who seemed to have communicated silently with [Ralph]_154-ralph , and obtained [his]_154-ralph permission , took [her]_{129-katharine} ruby ring from [her]_{129-katharine} finger and giving it to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , said : “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i believe it will fit [you]_{129-katharine} without any alteration . ” These words would not have been enough to convince [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} of what [she]_{303-cassandra} very much wished to believe had not [Ralph]_154-ralph taken the bare hand in [his]_154-ralph and demanded : “_[0-i] Why do n’t [you]_{129-katharine} tell [us]_2881-us [you]_{129-katharine} ’re glad ? ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was so glad that the tears ran down [her]_{303-cassandra} cheeks . The certainty of [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s engagement not only relieved [her]_{303-cassandra} of a thousand vague fears and self - reproaches , but entirely quenched that spirit of criticism which had lately impaired [her]_{303-cassandra} belief in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [Her]_{303-cassandra} old faith came back to [her]_{303-cassandra} . [She]_{303-cassandra} seemed to behold [her]_{129-katharine} with that curious intensity which [she]_{303-cassandra} had lost ; as a being who walks just beyond [our]_2881-us sphere , so that life in [their]_6253-their presence is a heightened process , illuminating not only [ourselves]_2881-us but a considerable stretch of [the surrounding world]_{6254-the surrounding world} . Next moment [she]_{303-cassandra} contrasted [her]_{303-cassandra} own lot with [theirs]_6253-their and gave back the ring . “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i wo n’t take that unless [William]_176-rodney gives it [me]_0-i [himself]_176-rodney , ” [she]_{303-cassandra} said . “_[176-rodney] Keep it for [me]_0-i , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . ” “_{[129-katharine]} [I]_0-i assure [you]_{129-katharine} everything ’s perfectly all right , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i tell [William]_176-rodney — ” [He]_176-rodney was about , in spite of [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s protest , to reach the door , when [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , either warned by [the parlor - maid]_{536-the parlor - maid} or conscious with [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} usual prescience of the need for [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} intervention , opened the door and smilingly surveyed [them]_6256-them . “_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3002-my dear} [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} exclaimed . “_[0-i] How delightful to see [you]_{129-katharine} back again ! What a coincidence ! ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} observed , in a general way . “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney is [upstairs]_523-upstairs . The kettle boils over . Where ’s [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , [I]_0-i say ? [I]_0-i go to look , and [I]_0-i find [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ! ” [She]_0-i seemed to have proved something to [her]_0-i own satisfaction , although [nobody]_2970-nobody felt certain what thing precisely it was . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i find [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} , ” [she]_0-i repeated . “_{[303-cassandra]} [She]_{303-cassandra} missed [her]_{303-cassandra} train , ” [Katharine]_{129-katharine} interposed , seeing that [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} was unable to speak . “_{[303-cassandra]} Life , ” began [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , drawing inspiration from the portraits on the wall apparently , “_{[303-cassandra]} consists in missing [trains]_2884-trains and in finding — ” But [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} pulled [herself]_{130-mrs. hilbery} up and remarked that the kettle must have boiled completely over everything . To [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s agitated mind it appeared that this kettle was an enormous kettle , capable of deluging [the house]_{377-the house} in its incessant showers of steam , the enraged representative of all those household duties which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} had neglected . [She]_{130-mrs. hilbery} ran hastily up to [the drawing - room]_{392-the drawing - room} , and [the rest]_{403-the rest} followed [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} , for [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} put [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} arm round [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} and drew [her]_{303-cassandra} [upstairs]_523-upstairs . [They]_{403-the rest} found [Rodney]_176-rodney observing the kettle with uneasiness but with such absence of mind that [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s catastrophe was in a fair way to be fulfilled . In putting the matter straight no greetings were exchanged , but [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} chose seats as far apart as possible , and sat down with an air of [people]_383-people making a very temporary lodgment . Either [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} was impervious to [their]_{403-the rest} discomfort , or chose to ignore it , or thought it high time that the subject was changed , for [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} did nothing but talk about [[Shakespeare]_170-william ’s tomb]_{4842-shakespeare ’s tomb} . “_{[303-cassandra]} So much earth and so much water and that sublime spirit brooding over it all , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} mused , and went on to sing [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} strange , half - earthly song of dawns and sunsets , of [great poets]_{1339-great poets} , and the unchanged spirit of noble loving which [they]_{403-the rest} had taught , so that nothing changes , and one age is linked with another , and [no one]_{2921-no one} dies , and [we]_6266-we all meet in spirit , until [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} appeared oblivious of [any one in [the room]_{379-the room}]_{6267-any one in the room} . But suddenly [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} remarks seemed to contract the enormously wide circle in which [they]_{403-the rest} were soaring and to alight , airily and temporarily , upon matters of more immediate moment . “_{[129-katharine]} [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph , ” [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} said , as if to try the sound . “_[176-rodney] [William]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel [myself]_0-i in an entirely false position , ” said [William]_176-rodney desperately , thrusting [himself]_0-i into this breach in [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} reflections . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ve no right to be sitting here . [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} told [me]_0-i yesterday to leave [the house]_{377-the house} . [I]_0-i ’d no intention of coming back again . [I]_0-i shall now — ” “_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel the same too , ” [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} interrupted . “_[0-i] After what [Uncle Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} said to [me]_0-i last night — ” “_{[210-uncle trevor]} [I]_0-i have put [you]_2886-you into a most odious position , ” [Rodney]_176-rodney went on , rising from [his]_176-rodney seat , in which movement [he]_176-rodney was imitated simultaneously by [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . “_[0-i] Until [I]_0-i have [[your]_2886-you father]_{1101-your father} ’s consent [I]_0-i have no right to speak to [you]_2886-you — let alone in [this house]_{1045-this house} , where [my]_0-i conduct”—he looked at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , stammered , and fell silent—“where_[2886-you] [my]_0-i conduct has been reprehensible and inexcusable in the extreme , ” [he]_176-rodney forced [himself]_0-i to continue . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i have explained everything to [[your]_2886-you mother]_{3081-your mother} . [She]_{3081-your mother} is so generous as to try and make [me]_0-i believe that [I]_0-i have done no harm — [you]_2886-you have convinced [her]_{3081-your mother} that [my]_0-i behavior , selfish and weak as it was — selfish and weak — ” [he]_176-rodney repeated , like [a speaker who has lost [his]_176-rodney notes]_{6269-a speaker who has lost his notes} . Two emotions seemed to be struggling in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ; one the desire to laugh at the ridiculous spectacle of [William]_176-rodney making [her]_{129-katharine} a formal speech across the tea - table , the other a desire to weep at the sight of something childlike and honest in [him]_176-rodney which touched [her]_{129-katharine} inexpressibly . To [every one]_{3109-every one} ’s surprise [she]_{129-katharine} rose , stretched out [her]_{129-katharine} hand , and said : “_[0-i] [You]_0-i ’ve nothing to reproach [yourself]_0-i with — [you’ve]_0-i been always — ” but here [her]_{129-katharine} voice died away , and the tears forced themselves into [her]_{129-katharine} eyes , and ran down [her]_{129-katharine} cheeks , while [William]_176-rodney , equally moved , seized [her]_{129-katharine} hand and pressed it to [his]_176-rodney lips . [No one]_{2921-no one} perceived that the drawing - room door had opened itself sufficiently to admit at least half [the person of [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery}]_{6272-the person of mr. hilbery} , or saw [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} gaze at the scene round the tea - table with an expression of the utmost disgust and expostulation . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} withdrew unseen . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} paused outside on [the landing]_{571-the landing} trying to recover [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} self - control and to decide what course [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} might with most dignity pursue . It was obvious to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} that [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} wife]_{2946-his wife} had entirely confused the meaning of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} instructions . [She]_{2946-his wife} had plunged [them]_2890-them all into the most odious confusion . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} waited a moment , and then , with much preliminary rattling of the handle , opened the door a second time . [They]_2890-them had all regained [their]_2890-them places ; some incident of an absurd nature had now set [them]_2890-them laughing and looking under the table , so that [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} entrance passed momentarily unperceived . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , with flushed cheeks , raised [her]_0-i head and said : “_[0-i] Well , that ’s [my]_0-i last attempt at the dramatic . ” “_[2890-them] It ’s astonishing what a distance [they]_2890-them roll , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph , stooping to turn up the corner of the hearthrug . “_[2890-them] Do n’t trouble — don’t bother . [We]_2891-we shall find it — ” [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} began , and then saw [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} husband]_{3641-her husband} and exclaimed : “_[2891-we] Oh , [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , [we]_2891-we ’re looking for [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ’s engagement - ring ! ” [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} looked instinctively at the carpet . Remarkably enough , the ring had rolled to the very point where [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} stood . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} saw the rubies touching the tip of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} boot . Such is the force of habit that [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} could not refrain from stooping , with an absurd little thrill of pleasure at being the one to find what [others]_1056-others were looking for , and , picking the ring up , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} presented it , with a bow that was courtly in the extreme , to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . Whether the making of a bow released automatically feelings of complaisance and urbanity , [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} found [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} resentment completely washed away during the second in which [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} bent and straightened [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} dared to offer [her]_{303-cassandra} cheek and received [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} embrace . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} nodded with some degree of stiffness to [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Denham]_154-ralph , who had both risen upon seeing [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} , and now altogether sat down . [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} seemed to have been waiting for the entrance of [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} husband]_{3641-her husband} , and for this precise moment in order to put to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} a question which , from the ardor with which [she]_{130-mrs. hilbery} announced it , had evidently been pressing for utterance for some time past . “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Oh , [Trevor]_{210-uncle trevor} , please tell [me]_0-i , what was the date of the first performance of ‘ Hamlet ’ ? ” In order to answer [her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had to have recourse to the exact scholarship of [William Rodney]_176-rodney , and before [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had given [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} excellent authorities for believing as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} believed , [Rodney]_176-rodney felt [himself]_176-rodney admitted once more to [the society of the civilized]_{6278-the society of the civilized} and sanctioned by the authority of [no less a person than [Shakespeare]_170-william [himself]_170-william]_{6279-no less a person than shakespeare himself} . The power of literature , which had temporarily deserted [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} , now came back to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} , pouring over the raw ugliness of human affairs its soothing balm , and providing a form into which such passions as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had felt so painfully the night before could be molded so that they fell roundly from the tongue in shapely phrases , hurting [nobody]_2970-nobody . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was sufficiently sure of [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} command of language at length to look at [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and again at [Denham]_154-ralph . All this talk about [Shakespeare]_170-william had acted as a soporific , or rather as an incantation upon [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . [She]_{129-katharine} leaned back in [her]_{129-katharine} chair at the head of the tea - table , perfectly silent , looking vaguely past [them]_6281-them all , receiving the most generalized ideas of human heads against pictures , against yellow - tinted walls , against curtains of deep crimson velvet . [Denham]_154-ralph , to whom [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} turned next , shared [her]_{129-katharine} immobility under [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} gaze . But beneath [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} restraint and calm it was possible to detect a resolution , a will , set now with unalterable tenacity , which made such turns of speech as [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} had at command appear oddly irrelevant . At any rate , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said nothing . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} respected [the young man]_{457-the young man} ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was [a very able young man]_{6283-a very able young man} ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was likely to get [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} own way . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} could , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought , looking at [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} still and very dignified head , understand [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s preference , and , as [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} thought this , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was surprised by a pang of acute jealousy . [She]_{129-katharine} might have married [Rodney]_176-rodney without causing [him]_176-rodney a twinge . [This man [she]_{129-katharine} loved]_{6284-this man she loved} . Or what was the state of affairs between [them]_6285-them ? An extraordinary confusion of emotion was beginning to get the better of [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} , when [Mrs. Hilbery]_{130-mrs. hilbery} [, who had been conscious of a sudden pause in the conversation]_{6286-, who had been conscious of a sudden pause in the conversation} , and had looked wistfully at [[her]_{130-mrs. hilbery} daughter]_{373-her daughter} once or twice , remarked : “_{[210-uncle trevor]} Do n’t stay if [you]_2892-you want to go , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} . There ’s [the little room over there]_{2893-the little room over there} . Perhaps [you]_2892-you and [Ralph]_154-ralph — ” “_[154-ralph] [We]_2894-we ’re engaged , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , waking with a start , and looking straight at [[her]_{129-katharine} father]_{406-her father} . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} was taken aback by the directness of the statement ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} exclaimed as if an unexpected blow had struck [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} . Had [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} loved [her]_{129-katharine} to see [her]_{129-katharine} swept away by this torrent , to have [her]_{129-katharine} taken from [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} by this uncontrollable force , to stand by helpless , ignored ? Oh , how [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} loved [her]_{129-katharine} ! How [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} loved [her]_{129-katharine} ! [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} nodded very curtly to [Denham]_154-ralph . “_[2894-we] [I]_0-i gathered something of the kind last night , ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope [you]_2895-you ’ll deserve [her]_2896-her . ” But [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} never looked at [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} daughter]_{1065-his daughter} , and strode out of [the room]_{379-the room} , leaving in the minds of [the women]_{3513-the women} a sense , half of awe , half of amusement , at [the extravagant , inconsiderate , uncivilized male]_{6292-the extravagant , inconsiderate , uncivilized male} , outraged somehow and gone bellowing to [[his]_{134-mr. hilbery} lair]_{6293-his lair} with a roar which still sometimes reverberates in [the most polished of [drawing - rooms]_{499-drawing - rooms}]_{6294-the most polished of drawing - rooms} . Then [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , looking at the shut door , looked down again , to hide [her]_{129-katharine} tears . The lamps were lit ; their luster reflected itself in the polished wood ; good wine was passed round the dinner - table ; before the meal was far advanced [civilization]_{1600-civilization} had triumphed , and [Mr. Hilbery]_{134-mr. hilbery} presided over a feast which came to wear more and more surely an aspect , cheerful , dignified , promising well for the future . To judge from the expression in [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s eyes it promised something — but [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} checked the approach sentimentality . [He]_{134-mr. hilbery} poured out wine ; [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} bade [Denham]_154-ralph help [himself]_{134-mr. hilbery} . [They]_6297-they went [upstairs]_523-upstairs and [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} saw [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Denham]_154-ralph abstract [themselves]_6297-they directly [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} had asked whether [she]_{129-katharine} might not play [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} something — some Mozart ? some Beethoven ? [She]_{129-katharine} sat down to the piano ; the door closed softly behind [them]_6297-they . [His]_{134-mr. hilbery} eyes rested on the closed door for some seconds unwaveringly , but , by degrees , the look of expectation died out of [them]_6297-they , and , with a sigh , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} listened to the music . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} and [Ralph]_154-ralph were agreed with scarcely a word of discussion as to what [they]_6297-they wished to do , and in a moment [she]_{129-katharine} joined [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} in [the hall]_{3431-the hall} dressed for walking . The night was still and moonlit , fit for walking , though any night would have seemed so to [them]_6297-they , desiring more than anything movement , freedom from scrutiny , silence , and the open air . “_[0-i] At last ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} breathed , as the front door shut . [She]_{129-katharine} told [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} how [she]_{129-katharine} had waited , fidgeted , thought [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} was never coming , listened for the sound of doors , half expected to see [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} again under the lamp - post , looking at [the house]_{377-the house} . [They]_6297-they turned and looked at the serene front with [its]_{377-the house} gold - rimmed windows , to [him]_{134-mr. hilbery} the shrine of so much adoration . In spite of [her]_{129-katharine} laugh and the little pressure of mockery on [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} arm , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} would not resign [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} belief , but with [her]_{129-katharine} hand resting there , [her]_{129-katharine} voice quickened and mysteriously moving in [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} ears , [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} had not time — [they]_6297-they had not the same inclination — other objects drew [his]_{134-mr. hilbery} attention . How [they]_6297-they came to find [themselves]_6297-they walking down [a street with many lamps , corners radiant with light]_{6301-a street with many lamps , corners radiant with light} , and a steady succession of [motor - omnibuses]_{5093-motor - omnibuses} plying both ways along [it]_{6301-a street with many lamps , corners radiant with light} , [they]_6297-they could neither of [them]_6297-they tell ; nor account for the impulse which led [them]_6297-they suddenly to select one of [these wayfarers]_{6303-these wayfarers} and mount to the very front seat . After curving through [streets of comparative darkness]_{6304-streets of comparative darkness} , so narrow that shadows on the blinds were pressed within a few feet of [their]_6297-they faces , [they]_6297-they came to one of those great knots of activity where the lights , having drawn close together , thin out again and take [their]_6297-they separate ways . [They]_6297-they were borne on until [they]_6297-they saw the spires of the city churches pale and flat against the sky . “_[0-i] Are [you]_2897-she cold ? ” [he]_{134-mr. hilbery} asked , as [they]_6297-they stopped by [Temple Bar]_{127-temple bar} . “_[2897-she] Yes , [I]_0-i am rather , ” [she]_2897-she replied , becoming conscious that the splendid race of lights drawn past [her]_2897-she eyes by the superb curving and swerving of the monster on which [she]_2897-she sat was at an end . [They]_6297-they had followed some such course in [their]_6297-they thoughts too ; [they]_6297-they had been borne on , [victors]_6305-victors in the forefront of [some triumphal car]_{6306-some triumphal car} , spectators of a pageant enacted for [them]_6297-they , [masters of life]_{6307-masters of life} . But standing on [the pavement]_{496-the pavement} alone , this exaltation left [them]_6297-they ; [they]_6297-they were glad to be alone together . [Ralph]_154-ralph stood still for a moment to light [his]_154-ralph pipe beneath a lamp . [She]_2897-she looked at [his]_154-ralph face isolated in the little circle of light . “_[0-i] Oh , [that cottage]_{2110-that cottage} , ” [she]_2897-she said . “_[2899-we] [We]_2899-we must take it and go there . ” “_[0-i] And leave all this ? ” [he]_154-ralph inquired . “_[0-i] As [you]_2900-you like , ” [she]_2897-she replied . [She]_2897-she thought , looking at the sky above [Chancery Lane]_{128-chancery lane} , how the roof was the same everywhere ; how [she]_2897-she was now secure of all that this lofty blue and [its]_{2110-that cottage} steadfast lights meant to [her]_2897-she ; reality , was it , figures , love , truth ? “_[2900-you] [I]_0-i ’ve something on [my]_0-i mind , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph abruptly . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean [I]_0-i ’ve been thinking of [Mary Datchet]_175-mary . [We]_2899-we ’re very near [[her]_175-mary rooms]_{809-her rooms} now . Would [you]_2900-you mind if [we]_2899-we went [there]_2927-there ? ” [She]_2897-she had turned before [she]_2897-she answered [him]_154-ralph . [She]_2897-she had no wish to see any one to - night ; it seemed to [her]_2897-she that the immense riddle was answered ; the problem had been solved ; [she]_2897-she held in [her]_2897-she hands for one brief moment the globe which [we]_2899-we spend [our]_2899-we lives in trying to shape , round , whole , and entire from the confusion of chaos . To see [Mary]_175-mary was to risk the destruction of this globe . “_[2900-you] Did [you]_0-i treat [her]_175-mary badly ? ” [she]_2897-she asked rather mechanically , walking on . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i could defend [myself]_0-i , ” [he]_154-ralph said , almost defiantly . “_[0-i] But what ’s the use , if [one]_422-one feels a thing ? [I]_0-i wo n’t be with [her]_175-mary a minute , ” [he]_154-ralph said . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i ’ll just tell [her]_175-mary — ” “_[0-i] Of course , [you]_0-i must tell [her]_175-mary , ” said [Katharine]_{129-katharine} , and now felt anxious for [him]_154-ralph to do what appeared to be necessary if [he]_154-ralph , too , were to hold [his]_154-ralph globe for a moment round , whole , and entire . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish — [I]_0-i wish — ” [she]_2897-she sighed , for melancholy came over [her]_2897-she and obscured at least a section of [her]_2897-she clear vision . The globe swam before [her]_2897-she as if obscured by tears . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i regret nothing , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph firmly . [She]_2897-she leant towards [him]_154-ralph almost as if [she]_2897-she could thus see what [he]_154-ralph saw . [She]_2897-she thought how obscure [he]_154-ralph still was to [her]_2897-she , save only that more and more constantly [he]_154-ralph appeared to [her]_2897-she a fire burning through its smoke , a source of life . “_[0-i] Go on , ” [she]_2897-she said . “_[0-i] [You]_0-i regret nothing — ” “_[0-i] Nothing — nothing , ” [he]_154-ralph repeated . “_[0-i] What a fire ! ” [she]_2897-she thought to [herself]_2897-she . [She]_2897-she thought of [him]_154-ralph blazing splendidly in the night , yet so obscure that to hold [his]_154-ralph arm , as [she]_2897-she held it , was only to touch the opaque substance surrounding the flame that roared upwards . “_[0-i] Why nothing ? ” [she]_2897-she asked hurriedly , in order that [he]_154-ralph might say more and so make more splendid , more red , more darkly intertwined with smoke this flame rushing upwards . “_[0-i] What are [you]_2904-you thinking of , [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked suspiciously , noticing [her]_2904-you tone of dreaminess and the inapt words . “_[2904-you] [I]_0-i was thinking of [you]_2904-you — yes , [I]_0-i swear it . Always of [you]_2904-you , but [you]_2904-you take such strange shapes in [my]_0-i mind . [You]_2904-you ’ve destroyed [my]_0-i loneliness . Am [I]_0-i to tell [you]_2904-you how [I]_0-i see [you]_2904-you ? No , tell [me]_0-i — tell [me]_0-i from the beginning . ” Beginning with spasmodic words , [he]_154-ralph went on to speak more and more fluently , more and more passionately , feeling [her]_2904-you leaning towards [him]_154-ralph , listening with wonder like [a child]_{541-a child} , with gratitude like [a woman]_{3107-a woman} . [She]_2904-you interrupted [him]_154-ralph gravely now and then . “_[0-i] But it was foolish to stand outside and look at the windows . Suppose [William]_176-rodney had n’t seen [you]_2904-you . Would [you]_2904-you have gone to bed ? ” [He]_154-ralph capped [her]_2904-you reproof with wonderment that [a woman of [her]_2904-you age]_{6311-a woman of her age} could have stood in [Kingsway]_{6312-kingsway} looking at the traffic until [she]_2904-you forgot . “_[2904-you] But it was then [I]_0-i first knew [I]_0-i loved [you]_2904-you ! ” [she]_2904-you exclaimed . “_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i from the beginning , ” [he]_154-ralph begged [her]_2904-you . “_[0-i] No , [I]_0-i ’m [a person who ca n’t tell things]_{2905-a person who ca n’t tell things} , ” [she]_2904-you pleaded . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall say something ridiculous — something about flames — fires . No , [I]_0-i ca n’t tell [you]_2904-you . ” But [he]_154-ralph persuaded [her]_2904-you into a broken statement , beautiful to [him]_154-ralph , charged with extreme excitement as [she]_2904-you spoke of the dark red fire , and the smoke twined round it , making [him]_154-ralph feel that [he]_154-ralph had stepped over the threshold into the faintly lit vastness of another mind , stirring with shapes , so large , so dim , unveiling themselves only in flashes , and moving away again into the darkness , engulfed by it . [They]_6313-they had walked by this time to [the street in which [Mary]_175-mary lived]_{6314-the street in which mary lived} , and being engrossed by what [they]_6313-they said and partly saw , passed [her]_175-mary staircase without looking up . At this time of night there was no traffic and [scarcely any foot - passengers]_{6315-scarcely any foot - passengers} , so that [they]_6313-they could pace slowly without interruption , arm - in - arm , raising [their]_6313-they hands now and then to draw something upon the vast blue curtain of the sky . [They]_6313-they brought [themselves]_6313-they by these means , acting on a mood of profound happiness , to a state of clear - sightedness where the lifting of a finger had effect , and one word spoke more than a sentence . [They]_6313-they lapsed gently into silence , traveling the dark paths of thought side by side towards something discerned in the distance which gradually possessed [them]_6313-they both . [They]_6313-they were [victors]_6305-victors , [masters of life]_{6307-masters of life} , but at the same time absorbed in the flame , giving [their]_6313-they life to increase its brightness , to testify to [their]_6313-they faith . Thus [they]_6313-they had walked , perhaps , twice or three times up and down [[Mary Datchet]_175-mary ’s street]_{6318-mary datchet ’s street} before the recurrence of a light burning behind a thin , yellow blind caused [them]_6313-they to stop without exactly knowing why [they]_6313-they did so . It burned itself into [their]_6313-they minds . “_[0-i] That is the light in [[Mary]_175-mary ’s room]_{3812-mary ’s room} , ” said [Ralph]_154-ralph . “_[0-i] [She]_175-mary must be at [home]_2992-home . ” [He]_154-ralph pointed across [the street]_{397-the street} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} ’s eyes rested there too . “_[175-mary] Is [she]_175-mary alone , working at this time of night ? What is [she]_175-mary working at ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} wondered . “_[175-mary] Why should [we]_2908-we interrupt [her]_175-mary ? ” [she]_{129-katharine} asked passionately . “_[2908-we] What have [we]_2908-we got to give [her]_175-mary ? [She]_175-mary ’s happy too , ” [she]_{129-katharine} added . “_[175-mary] [She]_175-mary has [her]_175-mary work . ” [Her]_{129-katharine} voice shook slightly , and the light swam like an ocean of gold behind [her]_{129-katharine} tears . “_[2909-you] [You]_2909-you do n’t want [me]_0-i to go to [her]_175-mary ? ” [Ralph]_154-ralph asked . “_[2909-you] Go , if [you]_0-i like ; tell [her]_175-mary what [you]_0-i like , ” [she]_{129-katharine} replied . [He]_154-ralph crossed [the road]_{941-the road} immediately , and went up the steps into [[Mary]_175-mary ’s house]_{6321-mary ’s house} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} stood where [he]_154-ralph left [her]_{129-katharine} , looking at the window and expecting soon to see a shadow move across it ; but [she]_{129-katharine} saw nothing ; the blinds conveyed nothing ; the light was not moved . It signaled to [her]_{129-katharine} across [the dark street]_{6322-the dark street} ; it was a sign of triumph shining there for ever , not to be extinguished this side of [the grave]_{6323-the grave} . [She]_{129-katharine} brandished [her]_{129-katharine} happiness as if in salute ; [she]_{129-katharine} dipped it as if in reverence . “_[0-i] How they burn ! ” [she]_{129-katharine} thought , and all the darkness of [London]_2-london seemed set with fires , roaring upwards ; but [her]_{129-katharine} eyes came back to [Mary]_175-mary ’s window and rested there satisfied . [She]_{129-katharine} had waited some time before a figure detached itself from the doorway and came across [the road]_{941-the road} , slowly and reluctantly , to where [she]_{129-katharine} stood . “_[0-i] [I]_0-i did n’t go in — [I]_0-i could n’t bring [myself]_0-i , ” [he]_154-ralph broke off . [He]_154-ralph had stood outside [Mary]_175-mary ’s door unable to bring [himself]_154-ralph to knock ; if [she]_{129-katharine} had come out [she]_{129-katharine} would have found [him]_154-ralph there , the tears running down [his]_154-ralph cheeks , unable to speak . [They]_6325-them stood for some moments , looking at the illuminated blinds , an expression to [them]_6325-them both of something impersonal and serene in the spirit of [the woman within]_{6326-the woman within} , working out [her]_{129-katharine} plans far into the night — [her]_{129-katharine} plans for the good of a world that none of [them]_6325-them were ever to know . Then [their]_6325-them minds jumped on and [other little figures]_{6327-other little figures} came by in procession , headed , in [Ralph]_154-ralph ’s view , by the figure of [Sally Seal]_200-sally . “_[0-i] Do [you]_2910-you remember [Sally Seal]_200-sally ? ” [he]_154-ralph asked . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} bent [her]_{129-katharine} head . “_[200-sally] [[Your]_2910-you mother]_{3081-your mother} and [Mary]_175-mary ? ” [he]_154-ralph went on . “_[200-sally] [Rodney]_176-rodney and [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} ? [Old Joan]_156-joan up at [Highgate]_6-highgate ? ” [He]_154-ralph stopped in [his]_154-ralph enumeration , not finding it possible to link [them]_6325-them together in any way that should explain the queer combination which [he]_154-ralph could perceive in [them]_6325-them , as [he]_154-ralph thought of [them]_6325-them . [They]_6325-them appeared to [him]_154-ralph to be more than [individuals]_{4210-individuals} ; to be made up of many different things in cohesion ; [he]_154-ralph had a vision of an orderly world . “_[156-joan] It ’s all so easy — it ’s all so simple , ” [Katherine]_{129-katharine} quoted , remembering some words of [Sally Seal]_200-sally ’s , and wishing [Ralph]_154-ralph to understand that [she]_{129-katharine} followed the track of [his]_154-ralph thought . [She]_{129-katharine} felt [him]_154-ralph trying to piece together in a laborious and elementary fashion fragments of belief , unsoldered and separate , lacking the unity of phrases fashioned by [the old believers]_{6329-the old believers} . Together [they]_6325-them groped in [this difficult region]_{6330-this difficult region} , where the unfinished , the unfulfilled , the unwritten , the unreturned , came together in their ghostly way and wore the semblance of the complete and the satisfactory . The future emerged more splendid than ever from this construction of the present . Books were to be written , and since books must be written in [rooms]_3471-rooms , and [rooms]_3471-rooms must have hangings , and outside the windows there must be [land]_6333-land , and an horizon to [that land]_{4300-that land} , and trees perhaps , and [a hill]_{2412-a hill} , [they]_6325-them sketched a habitation for [themselves]_6325-them upon [the outline of [great offices]_{6337-great offices} in [the Strand]_{811-the strand}]_{6336-the outline of great offices in the strand} and continued to make an account of the future upon the omnibus which took [them]_6325-them towards [Chelsea]_10-chelsea ; and still , for both of [them]_6325-them , it swam miraculously in the golden light of a large steady lamp . As the night was far advanced [they]_6325-them had the whole of the seats on the top of [the omnibus]_{3296-the omnibus} to choose from , and [the roads]_{4275-the roads} , save for [an occasional couple]_{6341-an occasional couple} , wearing even at midnight , an air of sheltering [their]_6325-them words from the public , were deserted . No longer did the shadow of [a man sing to the shadow of a piano]_{6342-a man sing to the shadow of a piano} . A few lights in bedroom windows burnt but were extinguished one by one as [the omnibus]_{3296-the omnibus} passed [them]_6325-them . [They]_6325-them dismounted and walked down to [the river]_{945-the river} . [She]_6345-she felt [his]_6346-his arm stiffen beneath [her]_6345-she hand , and knew by this token that [they]_6325-them had entered [the enchanted region]_{6347-the enchanted region} . [She]_6345-she might speak to [him]_6346-his , but with that strange tremor in [his]_6346-his voice , those eyes blindly adoring , whom did [he]_6346-his answer ? [What woman]_{6348-what woman} did [he]_6346-his see ? And where was [she]_6345-she walking , and who was [[her]_6345-she companion]_{3292-her companion} ? Moments , fragments , a second of vision , and then the flying waters , the winds dissipating and dissolving ; then , too , the recollection from chaos , the return of security , the earth firm , superb and brilliant in the sun . From the heart of [his]_6346-his darkness [he]_6346-his spoke [his]_6346-his thanksgiving ; from [a region as far , as hidden]_{6350-a region as far , as hidden} , [she]_6345-she answered [him]_6346-his . On a June night [the nightingales]_{6351-the nightingales} sing , [they]_{6351-the nightingales} answer each other across [the plain]_{6352-the plain} ; [they]_{6351-the nightingales} are heard under the window among the trees in [the garden]_{3362-the garden} . Pausing , [they]_{6351-the nightingales} looked down into [the river]_{945-the river} which bore [its]_{945-the river} dark tide of waters , endlessly moving , beneath [them]_{6351-the nightingales} . [They]_{6351-the nightingales} turned and found [themselves]_{6351-the nightingales} opposite [the house]_{377-the house} . Quietly [they]_{6351-the nightingales} surveyed [the friendly place]_{6356-the friendly place} , burning [its]_{6356-the friendly place} lamps either in expectation of [them]_{6351-the nightingales} or because [Rodney]_176-rodney was still there talking to [Cassandra]_{303-cassandra} . [Katharine]_{129-katharine} pushed the door half open and stood upon the threshold . The light lay in soft golden grains upon the deep obscurity of [the hushed and sleeping household]_{6357-the hushed and sleeping household} . For a moment [they]_{6351-the nightingales} waited , and then loosed [their]_{6351-the nightingales} hands . “_[156-joan] Good night , ” [he]_2913-he breathed . “_[2912-she] Good night , ” [she]_2912-she murmured back to [him]_2913-he .